Stay N Faithful

Jean Valjean just kept caring!

2018-08-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the beautiful opportunity to watch my son perform as Thénardier in his community production of Les Misérables. The story of Les Miserables is beautiful - a man, a thief, sent to prison for stealing a loaf of bread, gets released in squalor and works his way up to becoming the Mayor of his town. His nemesis, Inspector Javert, represents justice, constantly trying to ridicule and remove any of the good Valjean, who represents mercy, was doing for the world in the name of justice.

Despite everything Javert tried to catch Valjean in the act, Valjean kept caring. He was released from prison and devoted his life to God and to giving his life to others. He condemned the mistreatment of his workers in his business. And when one was thrown out behind his back he saved her from prostitution on the streets and took her in and cared for her, where they eventually fell in love.

He also rescued Cosette from slavery and trafficking by Thénardier, who I believe is as good a representation of "Satan", or an adversary, as it gets. Freely tempting and trying to purchase human beings with money and manipulate through money. He was the constant tempter. When Valjean noticed the mistreatment of Cosette by the Thénardiers he purchased her, at a great cost, and rescued her from slavery.

That was the theme of Valjean's life - constantly caring. Seeking out those oppressed by their captors and desiring to rescue them from the chains they were bound in. And Javert saw this and was constantly conflicted. Javert himself was bound by the chains of justice, and he couldn't escape those chains.

The time finally came for Valjean to rescue even Javert from his own chains. He saved his life. This caused a chain reaction of emotions in Javert, unable to handle the amazing mercy and constant caring and nonjudgement and gratitude of Valjean. Valjean never stopped caring - NO MATTER WHAT!

It fried Javert's circuits! (more on that later)

Javert was so overwhelmed at the constant giving and caring and charity of Valjean that he couldn't handle it and ended up killing himself to escape his bonds of justice, which he felt he couldn't escape. Let's hope this never needs to happen to others in this situation. Javer's lack of caring and cutting off of his own caring is where his grief was stored and it ended up in his own demise - oh if he could have only learned to keep caring like Valjean!

Is there someone in your life that you've cut off your caring for because they harmed you in some way, or you felt you could no longer care for them? Have you considered that the very thing you thought you were solving your grief with, cutting off that caring, could actually be the source of your current grief and be preventing you from being the real you that you are capable of being? Will you destroy that, and be like Jean Valjean and keep caring, despite the Javerts in your life? Will you start caring for yourself, and your inner Javerts despite what they've done to you?

Like Jean Valjean you have the capability in you to decide the trajectory of your life. Your opinions of yourself, and others, directly shape the world around you. When you stop caring for others it only hurts you from finding your true, authentic self and potential. What if, instead, the real you cared infinitely and never stopped caring, never stopped showing gratitude, and never stopped showing judgement?

Could it get any better than that?

Addicted to a Best Friend - Is it Codependency?

2018-07-11T08:13:00.003-07:00

Let's talk dating again. And relationships. And divorce. And genuine friendship.

I realize, after an 18 year marriage - which honestly, was MOSTLY good - that I'm addicted to having a best friend by my side day and night. I have friends that never saw this in their marriages, so I really feel blessed to have a point I can look towards in determining my next relationship. 

I always considered, especially the first 3 quarters or more of my marriage to be very happy and in fact blissful. She was my best friend for all that time. We did daily walks together. We went on weekly dates. We checked on each other regularly to see how we were doing. It was actually the things that distracted from that which probably led to the failing of the marriage. Quite honestly she and I are building that back again now as friends even though it's clear the marriage can't remain. I hope that continues.

I'm realizing it wasn't even the romantic elements of the marriage - sex, the physical, kisses, holding hands, etc, that are what I miss most (although those were very nice "icing on the cake" that perhaps I focused on too much during the marriage) - that I liked most. It's the genuine friendship and connection, almost 24/7, with an individual that wanted the same with me for almost 18 years. I truly, truly miss that. She'll always have that place in my heart. So I have almost 18 years with an individual I can set as the standard - the bar - that any future mate needs to meet.

I'm currently reading the book, "Codependent No More", which has been fascinating. It talks about the idea of not wanting to control other people in your life in areas you really can't control. Have an alcoholic spouse (I didn't)? Stop trying to control them into overcoming their alcoholism! Married to a porn addict (as most marriages are)? Stop with the control and instead look within on how you can protect YOURSELF and take care of yourself. Is it the porn that's the issue, or some other element within that is preventing the strong connection of your relationship from blooming? Or do you need to detach entirely to protect yourself? You get the point.

I'm realizing this desire for this 24/7 connection with someone again is somewhat an addiction for me. I'm going through withdrawals. Not as much as they used to be, but they come back here and there. I keep seeking friendships -  I've recently realized they don't even need to be romantic - but in those I begin to want that connection 24/7 with the friendships with an individual when they may not have the same feelings for me, even as just a friendship. Sometimes it's overwhelming for them. And that's codependency.

So perhaps this is a conversation. Are there other divorcees out there that have experienced a wonderful friendship for most of their marriage and have seen this similar withdrawal? How have you coped? Is desire for 24/7 friendship a good thing (it certainly was for me when I actually experienced it)? Or do we need to stop relying so much on friendships and instead figure out how to get along by ourselves without these close friends by our side?

I'm genuinely interested in your thoughts - please feel free to start a conversation below!

Smells Like Nirvana. Or Is it Teen Spirit?

2018-07-10T07:56:00.001-07:00

Let's talk dating as a mid-single adult. Honestly, I've kind of had it. I figured out Tinder and online dating apps. Those all seem so inauthentic though and it's truly a numbers game to find someone truly compatible there. My best relationships have been from Facebook and through real life friends. I've met some really amazing women through both methods, TBH.

But what am I getting from it all? What's the cost/benefit ratio? 

The cost is, especially for a guy, a lot of money spent on people you barely know (I'm a giver naturally so I usually don't mind that - I really do love to give, to anyone, guy or girl - see my last Facebook status update), a lot of time spent on things that aren't really growing you, except a few rare cases, meeting people that just, much of the time (but not all - I truly have met some really amazing women), not much of a match or intellectually stimulating enough to me as a sapiosexual (I like long, deep, mind-bending intellectual conversations, and the most amazing women I've met I've connected on an almost metaphysical level where we can almost read each other's minds and we could talk into the early morning if we allowed ourselves, just like teenagers), and a lot of risk both emotionally and physically.

What's the reward? A one-in-a-million girl? Sex (don't let me get started with the risks there - honestly, I'm really liking the idea of waiting longer for sex more recently)? An occasional make-out session? Good friends?  I have plenty of friends. Is it physical touch? I'm actually exploring a lot of Buddhist philosophies around reducing the *need* for physical touch - I think that's a learned societal behavior. I actually think, maybe when my kids are older, I might see if I can spend some time in Thailand as a Buddhist monk to explore this further.

Honestly, I'm just not seeing a lot of benefit for dating. If the right girl comes along and everything just clicks? Sure. In my new relationship with God and Christianity, the whole symbolism of relying on God to give and guide things to you is a powerful one, as it removes codependency on humanity and places it solely on God - that God can be a real thing, love, feelings, freedom, or whatever you want to symbolize it as, but the key is killing the codependency on humanity. And that's what I'm doing.

So if you see me attempting to outwardly date kick me in the rear a bit. That's, in many ways, codependency (I HIGHLY recommend the book, "Codependent No More" - more on that later). Time to just "Let Jesus/Buddha/Allah/God/etc Take the Wheel" and let karma do its job in guiding my life.

In Buddhism, removing these worries and outwardly "needs" for human connection, touch, and things removes codependency and ultimately reduces suffering. That's the exact place I want to be. 

Honestly, it's starting to feel like Nirvana!

Celebrating MY Independence Day - My Peter Moment

2018-07-08T18:28:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was Independence Day. I spent it visiting friends in the LGBTQ(IATP) community in Provo, Utah, who in today's world, still don't have the same freedoms that us heterosexual men and women do. It was during this event, and subsequently Provo's Stadium of Fire, where I spent a lot of time contemplating Freedom, and what that means to me. 3 years ago from Wednesday, on Independence Day, I submitted my resignation for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was MY Independence Day! I was liberated - this was my first Independence Day. My 2nd Baptism.

Leaving the LDS Church was a soul-harrowing experience. I literally lost everything from the experience. I was literally homeless, living on a suitcase out of a hotel at one point. I spent 6 hours in jail amongst homeless people and Heroin addicts for crimes I didn't commit and were dismissed entirely later. For the first time in my life I was truly experiencing what my Savior Jesus Christ had experienced. In Mormonism I was so sheltered, and so filtered and controlled that I was oblivious to what losing everything could actually mean. And at the same time, I lost my faith in Jesus. I lost my faith in God. Entirely. I thought the experiences of old were simply just shadows on the wall of Plato's cave, and in today's knowledge in many ways they were. I KNEW NO OTHER GOD!

Fast-forward to today and I came across a new form of freedom I completely wasn't anticipating. I've been fortunate to have a very dear friend and mentor who grew up Christian, joined Mormonism, left Mormonism and rejoined Christianity, help me rediscover my own spirituality and faith in Jesus Christ. Let me explain what happened, and what this means to me!

This friend of mine had such a firm belief in Jesus Christ after leaving Mormonism to the point that every time I was around this friend I was enamored in trying to figure out why, and how they could come back to faith after an environment where faith was all-or-nothing, with so many rules and boundaries (perhaps I'll write more about that later). I remember this from the first time I met them.

A few months ago as this friend and I were talking it hit me an experience I had on my LDS mission in Thailand (yes I speak fluent Thai) that I've never shared with anyone but this person and my ex-wife before. I'm actually going to share it here, because in my new faith and belief system this is something I think NEEDS to be shared with the world! Why keep something so important so secret??? Here's what I wrote in my mission journal on November 6, 1998 (the experience was on June 11, 1997):

"I need to tell about a spiritual experience I had while I was in Thonburi. I'm still not sure what it was, because it wasn't a full manifestation. One night I was praying after a really spiritual day. I began to have a desire to know Christ more. I don't know how crazy this seems, or if it was my imagination, but afterwards, I asked with sincere faith to see Him. I remember this tremendous feeling of joy coming over my body, and then I saw some form, in the resemblance of Him. Now, I'm not so sure about it, because scripture from what I know now, does not quite support it, but I gain great joy whenever I think of that experience, and know that whatever it was, it was from God."

I pulled it out and read this to my friend, in tears as I recollected the experience, REALIZING THOSE SAME FEELINGS I EXPERIENCED BACK THEN WERE ALL FLOODING BACK TO ME! I realized THIS JESUS STILL EXISTED. SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES STILL EXISTED!

In my journey out of Mormonism I couldn't figure out who God was. Science simply didn't support Him. It still doesn't. I couldn't figure out what spirituality was. I read Bart Ehrman, Spong, and others suggesting most of the Bible stories simply aren't literal nor historical, and they're still right, quite honestly. But I had completely lost my spirituality and this experience brought everything back to me helping me realize something I was missing that I had forgotten I missed.

You see I had a very close relationship, besides this experience, to Jesus as a Mormon. From a young age I prayed to God daily. I told God I loved him every single day. I had conversations with my God. I truly believed he was there, listening to me. I did all I could to learn more about him. For this Mormon it WASN'T all about Joseph Smith and temples and Priesthood, although I constantly found those as barriers to the relationship I wanted with MY God.

In addition to this I saw MY God speak to me in ways I just couldn't deny as I relied on him. I saw a boy get up and walk after being lame and receiving a blessing from me through faith in Jesus on my mission. I saw my life literally be saved because Jesus (Mormons call this the Holy Ghost - no, it was Jesus, and the same feelings, although more limited) spoke to me as my dad felt a prompting from God that he needed to pray for me while I was in Thailand. I saw healing after healing (I'm, quite literally and psychologically, a healer I've found) through my lifetime of giving blessings through Jesus. I saw miracle after miracle. Whatever it was, even if it was something like a "Hyperfrontal"-induced dimension as mentioned in the book, "Stealing Fire", they happened. And I gained a real, personal, 2-way communicative relationship with MY God.

MY Jesus.

But even then it was clouded with religion, "The Priesthood", and the way my church wanted me to have a relationship with my God. So when that went away I couldn't figure out what was left.

At least at the point I shared this experience with my friend I realized I was missing something I had forgotten about. But I didn't know how to find it. With that in mind I started seeking things that reminded me of that experience I had on my mission. THAT experience was Jesus Christ to me! I don't know if it was real. I don't know if it was just a figment of my imagination - perhaps it was - but I knew WHAT I FELT WAS REAL! And that feeling I craved. Oh, I craved it!

Then, MY Independence Day hit again. I actually didn't quite realize what was happening. This friend, through a series of circumstances, made an entrance back into my life (Mandino's "The Greatest Miracle in the World" comes to mind - this person is my ragpicker!). Just yesterday, 3 days after Independence Day, I was experiencing a negative energy I just couldn't explain. I wanted to cry. I couldn't figure out why.

The topic of Christianity came up again. My friend wanted to get Baptized to reshow a commitment to God. In traditional Christianity, as contrast to Mormonism, Baptism is an outward ordinance of physical devotion to God and happens any time an individual wants to outwardly show their personal commitment to their God. It's a big celebration, full of pomp and circumstance, and prayer and incredible rejoicing to Jesus.

I sort of wanted this too. I realized I was missing it and I didn't know what it was or how to get it or even if it was something real or why my friend really embraced these things in such a scientific and literal world. My friend is really smart and already gets those things, so why this strong belief and what did it mean to them?

My friend shared with me the video below. I already had a VERY open mind at the moment, so if you watch this, please approach it with an open mind, thinking back to the most spiritual experience you ever had (and don't worry if the experience is literal or not - that doesn't matter). Then, think of Jesus in this as THAT experience! It doesn't have to be literal. It CAN, but it doesn't HAVE to be (Spong, an Episcopalian minister, suggests Christians take the Bible way too literally). Now watch with that open heart, and feel, putting yourself in the place of the individual dancing with Christ:

At about 3:50 I broke down, feeling everything I had just been through the last 3 years. And everything I had been through as a Mormon. I realized Jesus, whomever he is, whatever he is, has been trying to find me ever since I was a baby. He was walking on water, fighting the forces of nature, to rescue me, Peter, who was drowning in the water. I was being held back by forces of Priesthood, control, and religion the entire time I was Mormon. I was being held back by the forces of not realizing there could be a God outside of that. I found my way out but even then I was still fighting for my life, and he was fighting back to come and find me. My emotions let go and I bawled, quite literally, like a baby - this was me after seeing that video:

All of the sudden I GOT IT! I KNEW this man, whatever he or it is that I had a very personal relationship with inside Mormonism, was! And HE found ME! I don't know how to describe it. It was greater than anything I ever experienced inside Mormonism. Even greater than my vision of seeing him in person, at least in my heart. It was like a big, warm hug in such a real way. Instead of just seeing him I FELT him!

That scene in the video of Jesus fighting for her, getting in and even fighting back her enemies and all the different forces that were fighting against her. Then getting her up, cleaning her off, doing a dance with her and just embracing her. Just loving her. Just holding her. That was something I never felt inside Mormonism! I felt a genuine, genuine love for Jesus, perhaps more than many Mormons, but never like this. This was like that embrace at the end. A huge, warm hug holding onto me saying, "I'm here."

I'm bawling as I write this, feeling it all over again.

Today I went back to a nondenominational Christian church for the second time. The first time I was still Mormon, tainted by the controls I was subject to there preventing me from full clarity of my God. This time I went back unfettered. And boy was it an amazing, incredible, and another life changing experience! The songs resonated like never before, something I never understood as a Mormon. The messages resonated in a very personal way I was finally allowed to apply MY OWN interpretation to in any way I chose. After all it was MY relationship with Jesus!

This was, once again, MY Independence Day. And it was my 3rd Baptism. And I'm oh, so grateful!

If you could only feel the feelings I'm feeling right now. I will never go back to anything that controls me and my relationship with MY God again! I know that HE is there, fighting for me, embracing me, and every decision I make moving forward is going to be through him.

For my Atheist and Agnostic friends who have also left Mormonism - Jesus doesn't NEED to be a literal, "magical" being. Jesus is something inside you. He's something symbolic of love. He's symbolic of FREEDOM. But most of all, the Jesus OUTSIDE of Mormonism is one YOU get to decide what he means! You can do that - you can have spirituality back. You don't have to believe in fairy tales either. But you CAN have that relationship with YOUR God back. Try it, and see what else comes!

What else can I achieve after THIS???!

Are We in a New Era of the LDS Church Leadership?

2018-01-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

I saw something really significant this last week. For the first time EVER, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints held an open press conference, where its newly called President and counselors stood in front of the Press taking open, live questions translated live into most of the major languages. Never in the Church's history, since early pioneer days pre-David O. McKay (who instituted "correlation" to control the messaging of the Church), has the LDS Church opened itself up, unfiltered, without Correlation. For the first time since Hinckley (who stayed, with his wife, with my grandparents, very nervous, the night before his infamous CBS Mike Wallace interview) the LDS Church has a leader, speaking to the public, unfiltered, truly representing the Church. This change is HUGE, and should be noted, whether you like the man or not!

I mentioned on Facebook that for the last decade or more Thomas S. Monson has been "sick". Some say he had dementia. It was enough to prevent me from getting anyone in the 12 or First Presidency (the top leadership of the LDS Church) to directly participate without correlation on social media. I used to preach, when I worked there, that the advantage of this "New Media" era was to "open up the covers" and bring back the times, like in the days of Joseph Smith, when members of the Church could talk to its leaders and those leaders could talk back, unfiltered.

I remember ordering copies of BJ (one of the premiere authorities on user interface design in a social media era) and Linda Fogg's "Facebook For Parents", and Robert Scoble (A man who eats, breathes, and sleeps the idea of "opening up the covers", sometimes quite literally! He's also a good friend.) and Shel Israel's "Naked Conversations" for each of the 12 to teach them this concept. I used to share stories of a man in the Book of Mormon named King Benjamin, who would preach as far as the ear could hear and they'd share it to their friends (you can see my presentation at LDS Business College where I shared a portion of this story here), and how social media now allowed the LDS Church's leaders to do this, having a true conversation with its members, one-on-one, unfiltered as in the days of Joseph Smith.

So this press conference was significant. And they messed up in how they responded on the issue of women and gays. Of course they messed up. It was unfiltered. I expected that when I shared these ideas with the Church. And that's okay. That's the point - there will be mess-ups. Now the responsibility of the LDS Church will be to listen, reiterate, and keep responding, one-on-one, unfiltered like they did at this press conference in as many places as possible. This move was unprecedented, and I'm absolutely tickled to see it happening. This is what I was waiting for when I had that really scary conversation with Michael Otterson about 6 years ago. So that event was huge. Especially for me.

There's one more really significant thing I've noticed however.

Since the changing of the guard in Public Affairs in 2016 and Richard Turley taking over the reigns from Michael Otterson (I actually adore Michael - he had a huge responsibility ahead of him during the Romney era, post-Prop 8, and other situations, despite some of the ways he ran Public Affairs that I disagree with), there have been no notable excommunications of public members losing their membership as a result of the Public Affairs department investigating individuals in the Church. When I worked there under Otterson I knew of several under investigation. I provided notes to Public Affairs about John Dehlin, JoAnna Brooks, Mike Norton, Helen Radkey, and others in that administration. And we know of very public excommunications like John Dehlin (they even responded publicly here) and Jeremy Runnels and Kate Kelly happening as a result of those Public Affairs investigations. I sometimes wonder if my own issues with my local leaders squeezing me out were a result of top brass at the Church talking to them (my Stake President wouldn't say where the screenshots came from).

I think this move as well is significant. Is the Church opening up more? Is it being more okay with disagreements from local members? Is it starting to allow open conversation and disagreement and handling it better? There are some very open conversations happening right now that I think are very healthy for the Church. Many around women and the Priesthood. Questions like the one Peggy Fletcher Stack, an active Mormon, asked the top leader of the Church just this last week. And frankly while I don't like the full answer, I like the love he tried to show, and that he at least attempted an unfiltered answer.

Side note: President Nelson knows my family as well and something like the response he gave to Peggy would mean a lot to me - he and my grandfather were friends, and served in the General Sunday School Board together. President Nelson if you're reading this, "Hi! Leave a comment or give me a call - always happy to chat and recollect about my grandfather!" (Now this will be an interesting test...)

I think something major is happening. Will they dig in their heals deeper on issues like gay marriage and women and the Priesthood? I can almost guarantee it based on my experience there (maybe I'll write more about that later). But one thing I think we can count on - they'll do these things openly, boldly, and there will no longer be any doubt on the LDS Church's position on these matters. No longer will the Church messaging come from the Gospel of Mormon Newsroom. You'll hear it from the top person's and First Presidency's mouths themselves, in real time, unfiltered. And you can also guarantee you'll see more listening as a result.

In the end that's HUGE, and a really good thing! Transparency always wins.

My Vision of The Iron Rod and Tree of Life

2017-02-20T00:29:00.001-08:00

I just had a vision.

There is a story in The Book of Mormon about an "iron rod", leading to a "tree of life", and people holding onto that iron rod in order to get to the tree of life. Next to the iron rod is a "mist of darkness", and on the other side of the mist of darkness is a "great and spacious building", full of people pointing down and shouting at the people holding onto the iron rod. The interpretation by Lehi, and indirectly Joseph Smith (who interpreted the story supposedly by vision from God) is that those holding onto the iron rod are the righteous, and the tree of life is salvation and exaltation in the Kingdom of God.

While I have my doubts about The Book of Mormon, let's assume it was a real vision that Joseph Smith saw as he interpreted the story of Lehi. What if Lehi, and Joseph Smith got it wrong? Plato talks about a cave where people inside see shadows on the wall, assuming those shadows are reality. What if, instead of a path to righteousness as Lehi and Joseph Smith interpreted, this "iron rod" story is actually the story about the people in the building, who have a view over the entire world, and the beauty of it all? What if, instead of pointing their fingers in scorn down at the people holding to the rod, the people in the building are actually shouting at the top of their lungs that they're a much more beautiful world, and much bigger story if the people holding to the rod would just turn and listen? What if the river is the chasm that those holding to the rod have to go through, tearing their lives and hearts apart as they get to the building where they can see the entire picture? What if the iron rod is actually Plato's Cave and the great and spacious building are those outside the cave, looking in?

On the other side you see things differently. You see a whole new world without boundaries, and now instead of just one story about a narrow, tunnel-vision group of people focused on salvation, you see everyone in the picture, and a world of suffering, while those holding to the rod judge those that are lost, and on the other side. They don't realize that they're actually the ones who are lost. 

I feel free. I feel like I have a view of not just the iron rod and tree of life, but the entire world around me, the people suffering within, and all those holding to the iron rod unable to see the people who are suffering!

"Twas blind but now I see"... This is MY vision, and the clay has been wiped from my eyes.

You can read the story here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/8

Faith Journeys: Leaving Mormonism and Religion Cured My Obsession for Pornography

2017-02-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

A well-intentioned and very kind-hearted Mormon Bishop on my feed deleted a comment I made on a post of his where I talked a bit about my obsession for pornography as a Mormon and how it ended when I left. It was probably my first admission publicly that I had an obsession with pornography when I was Mormon. I was going to wait to post this, but feel I need to now, in order not to be silenced. Being silenced by my local ecclesiastical leaders for making intentionally and extremely honest and helpful posts to my audience (not necessarily putting the Mormon Church in the best light as a result) was the reason I finally left, after all. I am a free agent now - I can say and publish what I want, and be my true self as a result. You get the honest and transparent me - ALWAYS. I wasn't going to let religion stop that.

Okay - tangent aside, I'll get to the meat of the matter. I hesitate to share this because it IS a matter of judgement and worry amongst most Mormons and religious (and many of my religious family don't know), but the minute people become non-religious they stop worrying about it and stop caring about what people think! By sharing this I risk some of my Mormon and religious friends to judge me and think of me as evil. I hope that's not the case. I hope you live up to your religion and the reasons you stay.

Here it is - I stopped my obsession with pornography when I left the Mormon Church - ENTIRELY. Yes, you heard that right. I was "addicted" to pornography as a Mormon and there were times I couldn't go a day without thinking about it. I obsessed over it in leadership positions. I obsessed over it even when I worked for the Church (although I never looked at it on church-owned computers). I obsessed over it after I worked for the Church. I obsessed over it since I was probably about 14 years old. Arguably, I truly believe that almost every male and some females in the Mormon Church, and perhaps most religions that spend all their waking hours trying to rid the religion of pornography, has an obsession with pornography.

I'm learning more and more since leaving that I was not alone. One thing I've come to realize since leaving the Church is that Ex Mormons and those that are non-religious in general are much more willing to talk about these things, and you learn about all the minute details like this. I have yet to meet an Ex-Mormon who wasn't obsessed with pornography at some point in their time as a Mormon. If the LDS Church wants stats, interview those that leave the Church - those are the ones that will be honest with you!

When I left the Church, to be honest, I didn't try to stop my obsession with porn - developing a new system of ethics and morals, I didn't really care! But what I found is that, naturally, as I stopped worrying about it and having it shoved down my throat every minute and in every Bishop's interview (many of which I just lied as most people do, because I'd get so tired of it, and at times because my own livelihood relied on it), every Priesthood conference (meetings for the male leaders in an area), every Stake Conference (meetings for all members in an area held quarterly), and General Conference (meetings for all members in the Church held bi-annually), and then being taught to teach the youth I was in charge of on a weekly basis not to do it, I just didn't think about it any more. And naturally, I stopped. Completely. And I don't think about it at all and I'm definitely not addicted! I argue most who are non-religious aren't for this very reason.

I keep using the word "obsessed" instead of "addicted" because I don't think most people are truly addicted to pornography. I think most of us who are or were constantly thinking about it and wanting to indulge were simply obsessed because it was something we were taught to feel shameful of. It was something we were taught to be sad about.

Every book I read on the subject was depressing, teaching how we should use the "atonement of Jesus Christ" to overcome, as though it was a sad thing to have these obsessions. I was once told to go to a 12 Step program for Sexaholics because of my porn problem - that too was depressing, people with much worse problems than I had (child rape, adultery, among other things) mixed in with others of us thinking this was something as bad and life-threatening as alcoholism. I only went once because I felt it was making my problem worse. And then I was constantly being told it was an "addiction". It's something you "need to overcome" (see http://overcomingpornography.org for the LDS Church's official stance - it's treated as a sin). I was constantly focusing on the horrors of what I was doing rather than how to treat women right and what "consent" vs. "non-consent" is. It's no wonder I was obsessed! I was not addicted - I was subject to a constant bombardment of how bad a person I was!

It's not pornography itself that is the issue. It's shame, and guilt, and depression that is the issue surrounding pornography, and that exists because churches are constantly teaching, in an almost obsessive manner, that these things are evil. When in reality it's not pornography as a whole that is evil, but rather certain types of pornography where women (or men) are being treated as inferiors, where sex is being forced or manipulated (or implied as such), where children are involved, or where human trafficking is the source of the industry that are evil. Once we stop treating pornography, in general, as "evil", and start focusing on the real problems and reasons we don't want people looking at pornography (without focusing on pornography itself), the obsession, and associated "addictions" will go away. Entirely. I guarantee it.

I share this not to boast about leaving the Church or the benefits I'm seeing, but rather to point out that there are many, many (arguably MOST males and many females!) suffering inside of religion, and especially the Mormon church right now that shouldn't be. Stop treating it as a sin! Stop seeing it as shameful! Get it out of the Bishop's interviews! Get it out of General Conference and the youth and adult manuals for church! And frankly, if it gets you out of this rut, religion is not so important as to prevent you from having a happy life.

I guarantee, the minute the Church, or any religion gets pornography out of religion, the problems, with perhaps a small minute few exceptions, "addiction" to pornography will go away entirely and it will no longer be an epidemic. Maybe it's religion, or the proliferation and obsession over topics like pornography within religion that is the epidemic? Overcome that, and you overcome pornography.

Now, judge away...

New Series: My Faith Journey

2017-02-05T10:04:00.001-08:00

Starting today, I'm going to begin a new series on this blog. In reality, it's a continuation of everything else on the blog - my transparent (as I have time) journey in everything I learn and discover on my faith journey in life. You can read back and see my previous posts as a Mormon and see a stark difference in my posts as a former Mormon, for instance. If you want to get into the mind of someone who has gone through this process, this should be a friendly, non-threatening way (no matter your religion) to do this and understand what someone like myself has gone through.

My next post will be a bit of a doozy, although honestly it doesn't seem that big to me any more now that I've left Mormonism. I'll let you find out in a few minutes what it's about but you'll definitely get a much better idea on how transparent I'm about to get.

Following this, I have thoughts on where my belief in God has transitioned since leaving the Mormon faith, as well as Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and many other components of Mormonism. I find many who leave go through a similar process but we don't quite see the process of why they go through what they do. This will be me opening up my thoughts in as transparent a way I know.

Lastly, I want people to understand the challenges someone leaving a faith transition go through. It's not an easy process no matter what religion it is. That said, I'm still more confident, more free, more liberated, and happier than I've ever been since making my decision, and that's all that matters.

Stay tuned - my next blog post is coming soon!

What Do You Do When You Stop Believing? (The FULL version!)

2016-12-11T09:48:00.001-08:00

This is the full version of my faith journey, which I shared on June 3rd. This was written back then, but I withheld part only for close friends, and wanted to compile it all for you to see the full story in one today.

I've stopped believing in Mormonism. The truth is I'm struggling how to tell you. I actually wrote out an entire post around my journey but realized that probably defeats my purpose in sharing this. I'm happy to discuss privately with any of you - perhaps I'll write that down and share a link for those that ask, in private so I'm not repeating myself. Keep in mind that I really don't want to argue about this. Contention is not my goal for this. Trust me - I know your side better than anyone.

I have a very public profile online and you deserve to know that. I don't want to offend my fellow Mormons, but at the same time it's not fair to them to think I believe when in fact I don't any more. And the truth is, by just sharing the fact that I don't believe online I risk the fact that the culture and membership I've known my entire life could be stripped from me by church leaders. I love the traditions of Mormonism - the friends I've made there, the people I've met along the way, and the people I've served.

Truthfully, I've been debating how to share this with you. I don't want you to go through the same things I have. They have been gut-wrenching, soul harrowing. The entire principles and culture I grew up with my entire life had been turned on its side. If you begin to doubt and begin to research, you WILL eventually find the same things and have to decide what to do with it. That's not what I want - you need to decide if you're ready for that. I need to be transparent with you though.

I've been asked to do an AMA on Reddit about my story. I've been asked to be on John Dehlin's "Mormon Stories" (UPDATE - I did that - go here to see). I'm trying to decide if I'm really ready for that, or if there's really purpose in my going that direction. Clay Christensen was threatened with excommunication by just being on these shows (he resigned instead). (Also UPDATE: I resigned on Independence Day, 2016 - I'll share some of that later) I do owe it to you to share my story though and let you know where I stand.

Pushed Off a Cliff
Throughout my life I've always made a commitment that I'd be honest and transparent in my faith journey. You can see some of that on this blog. My opinions and testimony have changed quite significantly over time from extremely conservative to somewhat liberal. On Facebook, where I'm more personal, I've shared the good and the bad, and I'm always 100% transparent in my opinions on subjects, and I was even as a faithful member.

You can see that to the point where people within the LDS Church in my own congregation and area were sharing screenshots of what I shared online with my Bishop and Stake President. In fact my Bishop and Stake President called me in - I brought my wife with me (at her request - I have nothing to hide from her) - and condemned me for simply sharing sympathy with Tyler Glenn of Neon Trees, who created a pretty angry video of his feelings against the LDS Church. The post simply said, "A lot of anger and frustration in this video - thoughts?" I'll save those church leaders, who had good intentions, the grief of the details, but suffice to say there was contention, on both sides, in that meeting. Our Stake President told me AND my wife (who didn't post anything) we couldn't go to the temple.

While not offended, I was hurt. THEY were offended.

We walked out of the meeting early. I had been pushed off a cliff. Kicked out the door. At least that's how it felt. I haven't stepped foot back in church since. I understand how Christ felt, rejected by His own people and condemned for believing different.

I'll be honest that I had a glimmer of faith in the LDS Church even when I posted that Facebook post. I truly wanted to hug Tyler Glenn. I could tell, from his video (which has many symbols in it, whether you get offended or not), was hurting. I wasn't trying to draw people away from the Church by sharing it.

Faith in the Modern LDS Church
At that point in my faith journey (which was really just 2 months ago), I still believed that Joseph Smith could be a prophet. I still believed that, despite him sharing 3 different versions later in life of his vision of God and Jesus Christ (one of those which was not both of them), his supposed affair with a 14 year old girl while married to Emma, the flaws of The Book of Abraham translation, etc., etc. (most published on LDS.org or available in the LDS Church's own records archive), that just like Moses and Job and even Peter (who doubted Christ), and many of the prophets in the Old and New Testament, a prophet of God could be flawed.

I wasn't quite sure of the truthfulness of the modern LDS Church though. I worked for 3 years as the first person at the LDS Church managing social media. I worked with every single department of the Church. I set up BYU's first Facebook Page. I set up the Church's first Facebook Page. Before I worked there I consulted to help them set up their first Twitter accounts and the Mormon Channel Youtube Channel. I helped the Church secure a Facebook ad account executive. I helped with the "I'm a Mormon" launch. I helped strategize the Church's response to having a Mormon (Mitt Romney) run for President. I monitored the conversation of members, non-members, and former-members online and truly understood many of the conversations happening on all sides. That's just the tip of the Iceberg.

I'll be honest - even while working for the Church I truly felt the modern Church was true. I felt "the Spirit" there (something I still can't explain - you can feel the Spirit in non-LDS Churches as well, whatever that feeling is - it's a feeling of peacefulness and comfort, something I feel as I write this). Even with the executive clergy (members of the 70 and Quorum of the 12) I worked with, I felt they were truly trying to make the world a better place. They were also trying to defend the Church's existence, but they all had pure hearts. I still love many of them - some of the 12 Apostles know me by name and I hope they know I still consider them friends and love them. I feel while some of them make mistakes, they do get "inspiration" - whatever that is or means. I've seen miracles that I can't explain. I've seen these in other Churches too though.

Mankind, regardless of religion or faith, is somehow connected in ways we don't understand (and many try to explain).

Shortly towards the end of my employment for the Church, and in the years after I began truly studying the history of the LDS Church. Terryl Givens was my Bishop when we lived in Virginia over 11 years ago (before I worked for the Church) - Fiona, his wife was my Sunday School teacher when I was in charge of the Sunday School there. I was in the Elders Quorum Presidency under him as well - I love that man, and especially his dear family! So I truly understood there were flaws in Mormon history, and that many leaders had made mistakes. I wasn't willing to let that stop my faith.

I started realizing the inconsistencies in the Modern Church (Brigham Young and after) - the Word of Wisdom and the fact that all church leaders through at least Joseph F. Smith drank alcohol, coffee, and some smoked tobacco (and who knows what else). I was aware of the fact that the Salt Lake Temple had spittoons in the room for the Quorum of the 12 up until Joseph F. Smith, and we have pictures that still exist today.

The temple too was inconsistent - I came to realize that we don't even know the original endowment ceremony introduced by Joseph Smith. And the one practiced today is not even the one, nor signs or symbols or covenants that was practiced by Brigham Young and many other prophets after. It has changed MANY times over time. That's a historical fact. I highly recommend this book (click on this link), which I feel and felt even as a believing Mormon, was very respectful to Mormons' sacred beliefs on the subject.

Add to that blacks and the Priesthood in the 70s. I worked for the Church when the Church released the statement admitting the Church was wrong. I always encouraged them while working there to be true, open, and transparent, as long as they felt they were true. If true, the truth will work itself out. They were very supportive of that, always trying to share truth when they knew it, as you can also see from the release of The Joseph Smith Papers recently.

The Tipping Point

The tipping point was last October, when the LDS Church put an official (policy) ban on allowing the children of gay couples from getting baptized until they are 18. I'm all for making sure kids are accountable when they join a Church and frankly think age 8 is too soon. However, the inconsistencies of it all make it really hard for me to see that this is an inspired principle. What began my true doubt on the subject was the divorce of my Dad.

2 years ago my Dad left my mom - I'll spare the details (I've shared some on Facebook). He divorced her, and beginning of this year he was sealed in the temple to his second wife, after not revoking his temple sealing from my Mom. For the non-Mormons out there, a "sealing" means you are married for not just this life, but Mormons believe it seals you together after this life, and for eternity. Many say things will be worked out in the next life, but this step really weighed hard on me and my faith in the modern LDS Church and belief in the temple itself.

So my dad, who purposely left my Mom not telling her why he was leaving, and marrying a second wife in what according to Mormon belief truly is polygamy, is sanctioned and celebrated in the Church, and I get to keep my membership as his kid (even if I was under 18), but the children of gay couples in the Church can't??? That made absolutely no sense to me. I was hurt. I was confused. All the previous inconsistencies began to come together and fall. It's interesting how life tragedies can push people to truly seek for more truth.

I began discussing with my wife my frustrations and disbelief in what the LDS Church was doing. I no longer believed the LDS Church, as it stood today, could be true. It was not an easy conclusion to come to, and there is much more to it than what I'm just sharing here.

The Last Straw
At that point all I had was the possibility that Joseph Smith's Church was true, but Brigham Young's wasn't. Could it be that the Church fell after Joseph Smith died? Could Community of Christ, a Protestant Church modeled more after Joseph Smith's original church, actually be that church? Had we completely lost what Joseph Smith set out to accomplish?

Circle back to the meeting with my Bishop and Stake President that I mentioned earlier. I said they pushed me off a cliff. I no longer believed in the modern Church. I was convinced of that (and frankly I would have preferred to discuss that with them than a stupid post on Facebook and the condemnation they ensued on me). I'll be honest I wasn't quite sure what to do about it. I stopped going to Church - it just wasn't worth it any more.

So I needed to figure out the truth of Joseph Smith's church. I began studying real historical documents, on both sides of history. The LDS Church has its own point of view around history that defends its own existence - I saw that first hand working for the Church. The bureaucracy itself is built around defending its existence and that's why you see things like Prop 8 happen. There are also many historians, solid historians, in and out of the LDS Church that have their own views of history. I read all of those.

Without getting into detail, I began to realize that Joseph Smith had more evidences against his story than for it. Look up "The CES Letter" if you want a cliff notes version - I'm not going to try and convince you here, and frankly that's not my purpose of this. Before I knew it Joseph Smith's own story had crumbled. I was no longer willing to say that I knew Joseph Smith saw God, or that the Book of Mormon was written by a prophet, or that I knew Joseph Smith was a prophet. Every time I said that before it was based on evidences (see Hebrews 11:1 for the definition of faith, which I taught on my LDS mission). Now the evidences pointed the other direction, in quite a significant way!

Can We Still be Friends?
I don't want to appear as "anti-Mormon". I don't want to be someone trying to convince others, or evangelizing against the Church. Frankly, I'd still fight for the LDS Church if they wanted to hire me again. I'm still against people sharing videos of the sacred LDS temple ceremonies on Youtube. I'm still against ex Mormons trolling Mormons on Mormon blogs. There are many good things the organization itself does, and like any former employer I enjoyed working for I would do it again if for some crazy reason they asked me. I just don't believe in the doctrines any more. Heck - I may even continue sharing my photos with LDS Create, as I have done thus far.

Lastly, I don't want to offend any of you. I know many of you, especially family, see someone who leaves as not going to the Celestial Kingdom. I don't want you to be sad. Frankly, you can try to convert me in the next life if I'm wrong (which I am 100% convinced at this point I am not, nor do I want to argue about it). I'm not a "sinner". I'm not "offended". In fact I'm at peace. I've prayed about it. I've read the Book of Mormon dozens of times. I've sought out the best books and sought the "Mysteries of God". The truth is I was, spiritually and ethically, moving faster than the Church, and this was my only next step in my life (or eternal) progression. I am completely at peace with my direction in life and I'm happier, and healthier than ever and a better person because of it.

As I've always said, this is my faith journey SO FAR. I anticipate this will change more and more in the future. Who knows where I'll be 10 years, or even 20 years down the road? I want you there with me. I want us to all be friends in our individual journeys.

As I've said on Facebook, my mantra is to be true to myself, and kind to others. God or not (I'm still figuring that out), the laws of Karma and the Universe still exist. What we put into this earth we get out of it. I hope you can join me on this journey, whether you're Mormon, non-Mormon, former-Mormon, or otherwise!

Please, reach out and say hi some time - not as a church leader, a home teacher, or visiting teacher, but as a real, true friend. Frankly, I'm not quite sure I can be sure of that if you have any of those callings and come to me, I apologize - I've held the callings myself and I KNOW I wasn't true friends with many of those I was trying to bring back to the Church. I can usually tell your true intentions - building trust with me is really important at this point. I'm hoping to discover who my real friends are from all of this! You can know if I friend you, I now have have none of those motivations - I expect the same.

I'll try to share what I can as I progress on this blog, so please subscribe! Let's all heal, in our own individual journeys, together. And if you're struggling, I'm here to help, no matter which side of the coin you end up on.

What Do You do When You Stop Believing?

2016-06-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

I've stopped believing in Mormonism. The truth is I'm struggling how to tell you. I actually wrote out an entire post around my journey but realized that probably defeats my purpose in sharing this. I'm happy to discuss privately with any of you - perhaps I'll write that down and share a link for those that ask, in private so I'm not repeating myself. Keep in mind that I really don't want to argue about this. Contention is not my goal for this. Trust me - I know your side better than anyone.

I have a very public profile online and you deserve to know that. I don't want to offend my fellow Mormons, but at the same time it's not fair to them to think I believe when in fact I don't any more. And the truth is, by just sharing the fact that I don't believe online I risk the fact that the culture and membership I've known my entire life could be stripped from me by church leaders. I love the traditions of Mormonism - the friends I've made there, the people I've met along the way, and the people I've served.

Truthfully, I've been debating how to share this with you. I don't want you to go through the same things I have. They have been gut-wrenching, soul harrowing. The entire principles and culture I grew up with my entire life had been turned on its side. If you begin to doubt and begin to research, you WILL eventually find the same things and have to decide what to do with it. That's not what I want - you need to decide if you're ready for that. I need to be transparent with you though.

I've been asked to do an AMA on Reddit about my story. I've been asked to be on John Dehlin's "Mormon Stories". I'm trying to decide if I'm really ready for that, or if there's really purpose in my going that direction. Clay Christensen was threatened with excommunication by just being on these shows (he resigned instead). I do owe it to you to share my story though and let you know where I stand.

I don't want to appear as "anti-Mormon". I don't want to be someone trying to convince others, or evangelizing against the Church. Frankly, I'd still fight for the LDS Church if they wanted to hire me again. I'm still against people sharing videos of the sacred LDS temple ceremonies on Youtube. I'm still against ex Mormons trolling Mormons on Mormon blogs. There are many good things the organization itself does, and like any former employer I enjoyed working for I would do it again if for some crazy reason they asked me. I just don't believe in the doctrines any more. Heck - I may even continue sharing my photos with LDS Create, as I have done thus far.

Lastly, I don't want to offend any of you. I know many of you, especially family, see someone who leaves as not going to the Celestial Kingdom. I don't want you to be sad. Frankly, you can try to convert me in the next life if I'm wrong (which I am 100% convinced at this point I am not, nor do I want to argue about it). I'm not a "sinner". I'm not "offended". In fact I'm at peace. I've prayed about it. I've read the Book of Mormon dozens of times. I've sought out the best books and sought the "Mysteries of God". The truth is I was, spiritually and ethically, moving faster than the Church, and this was my only next step in my life (or eternal) progression. I am completely at peace with my direction in life and I'm happier, and healthier than ever and a better person because of it.

As I've always said, this is my faith journey SO FAR. I anticipate this will change more and more in the future. Who knows where I'll be 10 years, or even 20 years down the road? I want you there with me. I want us to all be friends in our individual journeys.

As I've said on Facebook, my mantra is to be true to myself, and kind to others. God or not (I'm still figuring that out), the laws of Karma and the Universe still exist. What we put into this earth we get out of it. I hope you can join me on this journey, whether you're Mormon, non-Mormon, former-Mormon, or otherwise!

Please, reach out and say hi some time - not as a church leader, a home teacher, or visiting teacher, but as a real, true friend. Frankly, I'm not quite sure I can be sure of that if you have any of those callings and come to me, I apologize - I've held the callings myself and I KNOW I wasn't true friends with many of those I was trying to bring back to the Church. I can usually tell your true intentions - building trust with me is really important at this point. I'm hoping to discover who my real friends are from all of this! You can know if I friend you, I now have have none of those motivations - I expect the same.

I'll try to share what I can as I progress on this blog, so please subscribe! Let's all heal, in our own individual journeys, together. And if you're struggling, I'm here to help, no matter which side of the coin you end up on.

The Mormon Church, That BSA Press Release, and the Future of LDS-BSA Relations

2015-08-18T10:21:00.001-07:00

Disclosure: while I am a faithful, active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Scout Master, a Wood Badge Staff member ("I used to be a Beaver..."), and having served in almost every Boy Scout leadership position both as a boy and leader, this article in no means represents the opinions or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nor the Boy Scouts of America. I love both organizations and will be a lifetime actively serving member of both. I only share this to represent some of the feelings of someone who is active in both, and how this affects them.

I've spent a few weeks pondering the words of the recent press release by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding its sudden reversal on Scouting shortly after the BSA National Executive Board made the decision to allow gay leaders within its organization:

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is deeply troubled by today’s vote by the Boy Scouts of America National Executive Board. In spite of a request to delay the vote, it was scheduled at a time in July when members of the Church’s governing councils are out of their offices and do not meet. When the leadership of the Church resumes its regular schedule of meetings in August, the century-long association with Scouting will need to be examined. The Church has always welcomed all boys to its Scouting units regardless of sexual orientation. However, the admission of openly gay leaders is inconsistent with the doctrines of the Church and what have traditionally been the values of the Boy Scouts of America.

As a global organization with members in 170 countries, the Church has long been evaluating the limitations that fully one-half of its youth face where Scouting is not available. Those worldwide needs combined with this vote by the BSA National Executive Board will be carefully reviewed by the leaders of the Church in the weeks ahead."

Let's start by getting this out there: while the final paragraph of the above press release rings true, the timing of this press release and the way it was worded with the first paragraph was horribly timed for both the public, and the Church's stance on loving our LGBT neighbors. Now, instead of this being an issue of whether Scouting belongs in the LDS Church in general, it is being lumped together with seeming against the decision of the board itself, making the Church appear bigoted towards the LGBT community. I know this isn't the case. While I'm sure they were frustrated they were left out of the decision making process (something the Church was implying they actually supported before this meeting), I don't think that was their intention or reasoning for "re-evaluating".

In addition, for those of us Scout Masters that were asked to serve (as Mormons the term is "we are called") in a position that rivals Bishop in time spent to properly execute the program, this feels a bit like a slap in the face on all the efforts we've put towards our programs, the time spent faithfully serving in our assigned positions, and time spent implementing "The Patrol Method" and getting trained. Because every boy deserves a trained leader. It came completely out of the blue. I don't think anyone can ever question a loyal Scout Master's sustaining of his church leaders, and that certainly isn't my intention for others to question by my sharing of these thoughts. Trust me - I have better things to do than put my time in as Scout Master, but the time spent sure is worth it for these boys.

Then there are other questions I'm now left hanging with. Am I planning Scout Camp next year? Do I continue with my efforts to implement The Patrol Method? Do I keep encouraging parents and boys to spend exuberant amounts of money on uniforms, books, and patches? I'm kind of left hanging here with the statement above. I love doing these things but because of this statement and nothing to back it up with, I'm left hanging, wondering if I'm wasting my time.

Then there are those that have gone a bit beyond their duty, volunteering, as members of the LDS Church for leadership programs like Wood Badge and other leadership programs. As a staff member this year, we are left wondering if our efforts to train leaders into "servant leaders", teaching boys how to become leaders themselves, are even worth it. And there are definitely those that are second-guessing whether they should be attending Wood Badge at all - I know of more than one participant (personally) that has backed out because of the wording of the press release above.

Now let's talk about the actual issue itself - yes, the way the program is designed currently, as someone who attended Cub Scouts in Indonesia in a non-LDS Scout program, BSA is MUCH better implemented outside LDS units. Let's face it - in the Scout Master's Handbook the first thing it talks about is implementing "The Patrol Method" within a troop. The Patrol Method allows for sub-groups to be organized within the larger Troop, allowing for multiple Patrol Leaders, Assistant Patrol Leaders, Quartermasters, and other positions to exist in a single Troop. The ratio of boys to leaders forces the boys to be in charge, and these troops are much more likely to be "boy-led" troops.

In an LDS Ward-level Troop (the way the program is implemented by default in most LDS BSA programs in the USA), there are very few Wards with enough boys to implement this Patrol method fully. And if it can be implemented now, as boys graduate gradually the unit will be left with too few boys in the future to continue implementing the Patrol Method. It's also very hard to implement a fully-staffed committee in an LDS unit. And LDS units don't take dues so typically have much less money than a typical non-LDS unit does. The fact of the matter is, the way Scouting is supposed to be implemented cannot be implemented effectively in a typical LDS unit.

This could actually be fixed by forcing the default Scouting unit in LDS charters to be at the Stake level instead of the Ward level. This only works in Utah though, where a typical Stake (the larger area consisting of multiple LDS Wards or congregations) is only blocks wide. This would be much more difficult to implement in a non-Utah Stake. Outside Utah the only way to truly be effective would be merging with non-LDS charters in the local area. I can't see the LDS Church doing this any time soon.

So the LDS Church is in an awkward position here. Yes, I believe the press release was rushed and written and pushed to the public at the wrong time, and coupled with the wrong issue. It's NOT an LGBT leadership thing as far as I can tell (even if it seems so). There have been openly gay Scout leaders in LDS units for some time now - at least I have known a few that have been either open or willing to discuss privately. The issue is that the Church just isn't equipped to fully implement the Scouting program the right way.

I think the LDS Church would be better off encouraging its boys as well as 14+ year old age girls (until Scouting allows girls in other branches) to attend non-LDS charters of the BSA. The program still builds boys and still turns them into leaders. Then, inside its own organization it should be focusing on its own "Duty to God" program. It's time to let Scouts be Scouts and Mormons to be Mormons, while co-existing as separate entities. That's pretty much how it works outside the USA.

If not, I'd love to see another, better way to implement The Patrol Method and keep BSA and Mormonism together. I'm lost at what might work right now.

Who Were the Pioneers of #LDSConf? The History of Tweeting During LDS General Conference

2014-10-05T01:21:00.000-07:00

Twice a year, Mormons get together to hear words from leaders of the Church (some of them, we call "Prophets" because we believe they have the mantle to communicate directly with God just like Moses, or Elijah, or Peter). You probably know about this if you use Twitter, because each time it almost always trends, and if you have a friend like myself who is Mormon, our posts and unapologetic celebration of the event is pretty hard to avoid. So how did all this hoopla on Twitter, and now places like Facebook, Google+, and Instagram begin? I've spent some time studying the history of it all (it's a blur for me), and here is what I came up with:

#LDSConf

In August 2007, my friend Chris Messina proposes the use of "hashtags" to organize conversations - his words, "how do you feel about using # (pound) for groups. As in #barcamp [msg]?"
In September 2007, Twitter launches a feature called "track", enabling users to send "track" followed by any term they want to receive updates by users on via SMS. It was disabled not long after due to growth and scalability needs of the service.
In July 2008, Twitter acquires the service Summize.com, allowing any Twitter user to search for public Tweets and see results almost in real time. Upon the announcement, Twitter announces the launch of search.twitter.com integration with Summize (previously, after track was disabled, users could only search for other users through Twitter search).
Some time around August 2008, Twitter integrates links to hashtags that integrate with Twitter search, and launches trending terms showcasing the top terms talked about at any given time.
October 2008: during the second semi-annual General Conference of the year for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Adam Wride posts, "#ldsconf Getting ready for first session of conference". He follows that with a response to @justin_hart and a few others, "trying to popularize #ldsconf - spread the word". Thus begins the use of #ldsconf during LDS General Conference. You can follow how it all started over on Topsy (just click here).
My first #ldsconf Tweet was shortly after that after seeing my friend Joel Dehlin (then, I believe, the CIO for the Church) use it: "Are you watching LDS General Conference? Tag with #ldsconf and track what others are saying at http://search.twitter.com"

#TwitterStake

I admit I'm a little fuzzy on the origins of the use of "Twitter Stake", and the hashtag #TwitterStake. I'll admit I'm not even sure what it was or how it came to be, but I get asked about it a lot, and it gets confused with the use of #LDSConf often.

"Twitter Stake" seems to have originated with my friend Kathryn Skaggs around 2009 some time, but I can't find a quote by her that predates the first tweet. The first tweet around #TwitterStake was actually by my cousin, Patti Harvey, in response to @LDSNana (Kathryn Skaggs) not even using the hashtag: "Twitter Stake. I like that! :-)" After that, many more tweets followed using the hashtag #TwitterStake. Here's the breakdown on Twitter.

Acceptance by the Church

The Church was rather slow in adopting #LDSConf. While I worked for the Church, there were concerns amongst those at Headquarters that they didn't want to distract from the messages of leaders, so we started by only posting before and after sessions of conference on varying official accounts. I always saw it as another media channel that could get the message out to so many more people, but like many things at the Church, it takes time to help everyone understand the value of things like this (and there were still many levels between me and those that could make a difference). When I was there, I was offered the Twitter account, @LDSConf, and I believe we secured it at some point while there. No one at the Church wanted to use it though at the time.

In April of 2013 when I worked for Deseret Digital Media, I realized I still had the @LDSConf account, and decided there was an opportunity to use the account to "live-tweet" conference from DeseretNews.com using the new account. We put people from DeseretNews.com and OkEspanol.com (the Hispanic Digital Newspaper that I was in charge of) in the press room at the conference center and live-tweeted conference in both English and Spanish as the first church-owned organization to live-tweet conference (that I know of at least). We also sponsored an ad for the #LDSConf hashtag telling people about the new Twitter account.

Finally, in October of 2013 I'm told the Church started live-tweeting conference during sessions, marking a change in culture surrounding Tweeting during conference sessions.

This Year

This year marks the 6th anniversary of the #LDSConf hashtag. I've noticed the Church has picked up the pace even more in tweeting during conference sessions, and I'm even seeing multiple languages now. Also, last year they started posting memes and other inspirational messages released during talks. The leaders of the Church now have Facebook, Google+, and Twitter accounts and those accounts are being updated regularly during the talks of each leader.

It's humbling to see the things put in place over just the last 6 or 7 years, and to see the steps that we had to go through to truly build a single "village" of Mormons, all communicating worldwide and sharing the Gospel messages from leaders of what we believe to be God's church with each other and our friends. There's still a lot more work that needs to be done, but this has been a fun ride and I can't wait to see where we go as technology continues to evolve!

The Parable of the Truck Driver (or Stage Coach)

2013-09-29T12:09:00.001-07:00

There's a parable I've heard in multiple forms and just heard again today. It goes like this - you want to hire a truck driver to deliver goods for your company. Some versions of the story involve a Stage Coach, but the premise is the same - you hire some sort of vehicle that delivers some sort of precious goods. The path between your place and the destination involves perilous roads with cliffs on one side, where you can easily fall off the edge.

As you interview the drivers of the vehicle, the first one comes to you and says they can drive as fast as they can, getting as close to the edge, "so close that I can get half my tire off the edge and still make it through the road." The second driver says they will go as fast as they can, but stay in the middle of the road the entire way. The third says they'll stay as far away from the edge as they can and go as slow as possible. Then the question is asked, "which driver would you choose?"

The expected answer is always the last one, because the supposedly the safest approach is always the one furthest from taking a person into darkness. Then, it is compared to one's faith, or standards (or maybe even overcoming an addiction) in some way, teaching people to stay as far away from sin as possible, just like the last truck driver. I understand why people tell the story - it makes sense, only to an extent.

I want to suggest the parable is wrong though. I would choose the first driver.

The first driver, because he can "tow the line", has likely been through the experiences needed to get one through tight situations, and when they come, he can get you out of harms way. The part of the story that is not mentioned is that roads aren't always straight and wide. They are windy, get very narrow at some points, and are quite dangerous at others.

I love the History Channel show "Deadliest Roads." In this show, very experienced truckers deliver goods from one place to another, taking the challenge of getting those goods across some of the most dangerous roads in the world. The roads are wide, and easy to drive on many spots, and when the drivers drive those roads, they stay as far away from the edge as possible, just like that third driver.

However, most of these roads have very harrowing, thinning roads, some with slippery surfaces on them where the truck could slide over the side of the road down the cliffs at any moment. These experienced truckers know their trucks though, and they had the experience to get through those roads, some times with their tires half-way off the road. When delivering my goods, these are the truckers I want to hire to get my stuff to its destination safely!

In life, our roads are the same. They're not always straight and wide where we can stay as far away from the edge as possible. Those smart, experienced people will, but we still need to strengthen our foundations, and prepare ourselves for when those roads become thin, and slippery. We can do this through scripture study, learning our Church History, studying our Family Histories, and building standards for ourselves that we can vow never to change. While the roads are wide and secure, this is the time to learn, study , and be prepared.

Then, when we hit those thin and slippery spots, we'll have the preparedness and experience necessary to make it through those trying times. Those that are prepared. "The Experts", are the ones that will make it across those "slippery situations" and continue along the road unscathed. Should we always "tow the line"? Of course not - we should stay as far away as possible. But, we need to still be prepared when "as far as possible" is only a few inches away from us.

It's this latter story I wish we would teach more in our meetings and amongst our friends and family. This is the best way to raise a family. Otherwise, we're just training amateurs who won't know what to do when they approach the edge of a cliff.

You Don't Have to be Mormon (or Christian) to Experience Pure Joy

2013-08-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I'm breaking the cardinal rule of "what happens in Relief Society, stays in Relief Society" (Relief Society is the service organization for women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), but I'm going to share anyway.

My wife shared with me the story of an experience she had at a recent "women's night out" through our local LDS congregation. At the event, a woman who had recently left the LDS Church and become Atheist had come to partake of the fellowship of her neighbors and friends as well. In some of the conversation of the night, one woman there asked her, "so, why did you leave the Church?" Reluctantly, but perhaps also grateful they were genuinely interested, she answered that she had decided she didn't believe in God any more, and had become Atheist.

I'm not sure if the resulting conversation happened with her, or outside of her presence, but it shocked me a bit to hear my wife talk about what they said (to my wife's credit, she was defending this lady). She said some of the ladies there couldn't believe that this nice lady could really experience "true joy" and still be Atheist. They didn't believe she was genuine, and some even insinuated she might be lying to herself about the joy she was experiencing. This mentality needs to stop!

I don't believe pure joy is limited to Mormons. In fact, I don't believe it's limited to just Christians, or Muslims, or Bhuddists or any one religion. I've been around enough non-Mormons and even ex-Mormons and non-Christians to know that there is joy everywhere, and some even experience more than I have in this lifetime. If this were not the case, did Ghandi not experience joy in bringing peaceful freedom to his people? Are my fellow Mormons prideful enough to suggest they have experienced more joy than Mother Teresa? The fact is, it is not the prideful, but the meek that shall inherit the earth, and every Mormon and Christian out there knows this.

I'm reminded of the Christian story of The Good Samaritan (which Mormons believe as well). In it, a man was beat and left to die on the side of the road. He was passed by a Priest and a Levite, neither wanting to touch a man that was as defiled as possibly dead. Yet, the Samaritan, of a group quite hated by the Jews, was the one who stopped and brought back to heal back to good health. It was regarding this man that Jesus Christ said to "go and do likewise."

Christ Himself said, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." It is not by believing in God that one serves and receives joy. It is by serving and receiving joy that one comes to know God. The "God part" is not required to receive joy!

I'm troubled that there are many of my fellow Mormons and Christians out there that believe joy cannot exist without a belief in God, or an active participation in His Church. Joy exists in service. It exists in loving one another, and being willing to lay down our lives for our friends, no matter who they are and what their faith (or lack of) is! I have no doubt that this innocent lady, who actively participates and serves in her community regardless of who her fellow man is or believes, experiences more joy than perhaps many of those that were judging her after-the-fact.

May we all follow in her example.

Mormons Should be Proud of Their History

2013-07-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

As you can tell, history is on the top of my mind lately. Orson Pratt and Heber C. Kimball (2 of the original 12 apostles under Joseph Smith), and one of Joseph Smith's wives are great-great-great-great grandparents of mine so for me it's personal. For me Church History is also Family History, and I feel I have an obligation to learn as much as I can. The funny thing is, the more I learn, the more I realize we still don't know a lot!

I posted this in a conversation earlier today. It was in response to a great article by McKay Coppins on Buzz Feed. Some were disagreeing that accurate LDS Church history needs to be taught more in Church, but instead should focus on the Savior and the Priesthood, as my previous article yesterday stated. The thing is, the two aren't mutually exclusive! Here was my response, and I wanted to record it for posterity:

"I've been thinking a lot about this today, and, to respond to some of those saying this (history) shouldn't be taught (in Sunday School), I think really we should stop being afraid of our history. Our history is filled with the message of the savior. It is filled with messages of the atonement, the imperfections of the saints, and how the Savior still played a central role in it all. Our history teaches that keys to the Priesthood are critical in who leads this Church. We have a beautiful history filled with the Savior and keys to the Priesthood that this Church holds, and even topics like polygamy (which we still believe in, after death BTW) teach us that.

I think the mistake we keep falling into is we think our history has taken out the Savior and a focus on the keys that our Church holds, when in reality it's our present that has done so. I think we should embrace our history, teach it from the housetops, and in turn, they'll learn what we, as Saints, truly believe. I'm really worried that because many have lost our history, we've also lost who we really are."

You name one problem in the Church's history, and I can tell you how the role of the Savior, and the keys of the Priesthood play a role in it. God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints preaches this, as the same Church that existed in primitive times. Why can't we be the same church that existed in Joseph Smith's times? The thing is we are - the scriptures haven't changed - many of our members have just forgotten about it.

The History of the Church Doesn't Matter. Conversion Does.

2013-07-21T23:03:00.003-07:00

From the early days of Judaism, Islam, and Christianity, history has always been a plague. Could a flood really encapsulate the entire earth? Did God really create Eve out of the rib of Adam? Moses saw himself as imperfect. Tom doubted. Peter denied his Savior 3 times. And Judas completely betrayed his Savior he once believed, served with his heart and soul and saw in the flesh. Of course, we all know what happened with Jonah and the whale!

The fact is there are a million different interpretations to all of these. That's the beauty of religion - beautiful scripture that teaches service, compassion, love, and ways to become better people, and despite any history that accompanies it we believe because of the beautiful experiences it brings into our lives by following. The truth is, scripture is a personal experience, one for us to learn on our own, by what I believe to be the Spirit of God, how to become a better person and grow a better life.

That's why I don't get the focus on history, especially in terms of my own faith in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. By all means, share the history - all of it. In fact, that's what the Church is doing in droves on history.lds.org. The fact is, as people learn history, even if it shakes their testimony, they are put through a process that leads to conversion.

The fundamentals of a true testimony should focus on the experiences I mention. It should focus on how the Spirit of God has led us through our lives, and the undeniable experiences that confirm why we believe in God. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is one more fundamental that testimony needs to come to - not that Joseph Smith or Brigham Young or Thomas S. Monson were perfect people and always said the right things (even in the Bible, I can't name a prophet that always said the right things), or that the Church has always had a perfect culture. Instead, our testimony must be founded on that where we believe that this is the only Church that has the keys to exercise God's Priesthood, or if that can belong to any Church at all.

While that may be hard, it is one of only 2 very simple things we all must come to. Once one comes to that conclusion, nothing else matters. I don't care if Joseph Smith fooled everyone (I don't believe that's the case). I don't care if The Book of Mormon has inaccuracies, or even has influences from other books (I also don't believe that's the case - too much evidence otherwise, but does it matter?). In the end, I know, because of the experiences I've had personally, that despite the flaws of man, this is the Church God bestowed His keys and where His Priesthood resides. It's really that simple!

So if you "discover" history - I don't care who you are or what your position in the Church - good for you! You're now going down the path that even Peter, and Thomas, Moses, Jonah, and I'd argue even Judas went through to learn of what they truly believe. Hopefully you've already had these experiences and can turn to them to know of these 2 factors that matter most. If not, this is the beginning of a journey, if you're willing to open your heart, to discover what really matters most. Focus on that, and nothing else - all else is just a waste of time.

In the end, it's about 2 things - Does the Church have the keys to administer God's Priesthood on earth today (and is that necessary?), and what Spiritual experiences have led you towards that understanding and belief in God in the first place?

The Marriage Debate - Mormons Have Been Here Before [BOOK REVIEW]

2013-02-25T00:22:00.000-08:00

This is not your typical book review. In fact, it's probably not your usual way to frame the gay-marriage debate. Instead, I wanted to use my recent study of the book, "More Wives Than One: Transformation of the Mormon Marriage System, 1840-1910", to help you understand a little more on why Mormons are so defensive of marriage. The fact is we've been here before. Our ancestors have been here before. And our Government has taken away Mormons' rights before surrounding our belief in eternal families and marriage. While I am certainly not defending polygamy with this review (I think it was perhaps necessary for a time, but not currently), this book, more than any I've read does a deep-dive into that, why the Mormons practiced it, and the gradual intrusion by the US Government in taking away their religious rights to practice such.

Mormons stopped the practice of Polygamy over a hundred years ago. What isn't always told however is that Mormons were forced by the US Government to discontinue the practice. The Church's assets were seized. The Church's incorporation was discontinued. Many men and leaders were arrested in the process. My own ancestors were tarred and feathered, and driven out of their lands because they stood by their religious beliefs in a genuine conviction towards the good of humanity through these beliefs. This book covers the history and evolution of the process that led to that, the foundations of polygamy in a rooted belief in eternal marriage and families, and the learning process in understanding the revelations that were received. More than anything though, I feel this book is a story of what could happen if religion were to be taken from the public square.

I see over and over the debate that marriage doesn't belong in the public square. Many want to take it out of government altogether. Understanding its history however I think puts a little more context into why those that want to defend its place in the public square, as a religious institution, are so convicted in keeping it as such. The fact is, and this book confirms such, marriage has always been in the public square. It has been very slowly removing its place as such though.

What I learned from the book is that it was when government started taking away the religious liberties of religions like The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, what people said would never happen, happened. Members of the Church were forced to stop practicing what they believed in, and before we knew it the very rights enabling free exercise of religion by the 1st amendment of the US constitution were being prohibited by the very government that was supposed to be protecting that right.

I hear over and over that if the US government allows gay marriage, religions will not be threatened or forced to practice such. I'm sorry, but history just doesn't show that's true. Our government has forced its ways on religion before, and it will continue to do so. My ancestors were tarred and feathered as a result of my own government's blatant violation of our 1st amendment rights. I have no doubt that will happen again, and my own religion's belief in eternal marriage and families is being threatened as a result.

I love my LGBT brothers and sisters. I sympathize with the way they want to live their lives, whether you call them trials or not (I only say that because I know even amongst many of my LGBT friends, many call them trials - I have no ill intentions in the way this was framed). I want equal rights for them. However, my right to practice my religion and believe in marriage between a man and a woman for eternity applies to me as well as it does them to believe otherwise. I am not willing to risk that right for what our government has already shown it cannot be trusted to protect. We can seek other options to protect rights for LGBTs, but let's leave the definition of marriage (as it has been since practically the beginning of time in Judeo-Christian beliefs), and its place in the public square alone!

The book, "More Wives Than One", while it doesn't address any of today's modern marriage issues, to me shows that the gay marriage debate truly is a legal issue as a result of history. It's one about survival of my right and freedom of religion, based on previous experience. Until all can come to terms with that, we cannot come to equal ground. While I don't believe or agree with polygamy at the moment, and while I do want equal rights for all, I will always protect the rights of any religion to believe as they may, so long as others aren't harmed in the process. The 1st amendment of the US constitution shows that religion, and government can, and should co-exist. It's the first of all the amendments for a reason.

If you really want to come to an understanding of why Mormons are so passionate about this, I think you'll find this book fascinating. Go get it at Amazon.

The Spirit Leads the Mormon Church

2013-02-24T22:16:00.000-08:00

Many critics of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints like to reiterate over and over the faults of the Church. The imperfections of its leaders, the bureaucracy of Church Headquarters, and I won't (as a non-critic) be the first to suggest that, as a former employee of the Church it had its share of red tape. This comes with any large organization led and employed by imperfect people. To the critics I can't help but ask, "is this really anything new?"

That said, hindsight is 20-20. I absolutely without a doubt, cannot deny the Spirit I felt as I walked into Church Headquarters my first day, and that lead me as I performed my day-to-day duties. It's something you really have to experience firsthand by working there to understand. And any that suggest it's not there either haven't experienced it, have forgot, are going in with the wrong heart, or are denying what they felt. It's a presence of light and knowledge I just can't explain. I was reminded this again today as I talked to another person recently employed by the Church that noticed the same thing. There are countless others that have experienced what I did while working there.

It was this Spirit that guided my everyday actions while there. It's clear that something supernatural is leading the Church, and that light penetrates and guides the imperfections of every single person that works there. To me, it was clear this was the Lord's Church, and He was the one in control of the end result of our actions. Were our actions always perfect? No. But the Spirit continued to guide, and it was that Spirit that grew my testimony and belief in the Church in ways it had never done before.

If you are ever in Utah, stop by, take a visit to Temple Square. Get a tour from the Missionaries there. Take a visit to the lobby of the Church Office Building (the big building in the middle), and get a tour from the missionaries there. Pay attention to the feelings you have. Come with a prayer in your heart, and notice the light and knowledge you feel as you are there.

It truly is a different feeling you can't explain - I don't know how to explain it. I just know it's there, and I know the entire Church is led by it, from the ground up. I hope all members, and non-members of the Church can be comforted by that - after my 3 years working at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my testimony is stronger than ever that the Church is led by God, and I feel stronger than ever that it is everyone's responsibility to learn that for themselves, and then support that once they do. I say that as "an insider", and will never deny it.

I just hope you can experience this too.

Religious Voices Are Invaluable to the World

2012-06-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Reverend Martin Luther King

Mother Teresa of Calcutta; 1986

at a public pro-life meeting

in Bonn, Germany

This article was written by Devin Thorpe, author of "Building Wealth for Building the Kingdom: A Financial Planning Guide for Latter-day Saint Families". Devin has owned and operated an investment-banking firm, which included an investment advisory business, a mortgage brokerage and having served in a variety of corporate finance positions. He has unique experience in this area. You can buy his book here. You can also follow his blog at bw4bk.tumblr.com.

As our world becomes increasingly secular, I’ve found that there is a parallel increase in the voices calling for Churches to step out of the public forum. A friend recently posted an image on Facebook that said simply, “New Rule: Churches don’t get to offer their commentary on political matters until they start paying taxes.”

Of course, the motivating issue of our day is gay marriage. These arguments are a bald attempt to discredit views about gay marriage that are based in religion. Given that virtually all arguments against gay marriage come from religion, the campaign is designed to get people to reject or ignore religious messages on the topic of marriage, because once religious messages are removed from the discussion, there is only one side to the discussion. It should also be noted that if the proponents of gay marriage are confident in the rightness of their views, they shouldn’t be worried about the source of the arguments in opposition, rather they should welcome the discussion and the opportunity to enlighten the unenlightened, as they perceive them.

This campaign, however, ignores the broader history of religious voices in America. Where would we be without the historic voice of the Reverend Martin Luther King? Can you imagine the civil rights movement without his voice, his passion, his vision? Absent his leadership, we can assume that the rights of minorities in America would have been trampled for years to come before America would have come to the conclusions it reached (sufficiently late) specifically because of his passionate, religious leadership. If you remove religious voices from the public square, you’ll get a world without voices like his.

Think too, about Mother Teresa, whose biography I recently read. Although she won her Nobel Peace Prize for her service to the poorest of the poor in her adopted homeland of India and around the world, when she accepted the Nobel Prize—and in virtually every other forum in which she was handed a microphone (including, notably, President Clinton’s Annual Prayer Breakfast)—she spoke of one principle theme: her strong opposition to abortion. Her voice was tolerated even by those who disagreed with her simply because the good she did in the world was universally perceived to entitle her to express her opinions, even when they were unpopular.

So much of the non-profit work done in the world is led by faith-based organizations or by religious people that it seems that the same spirit of tolerance that applied to Mother Teresa must continue to be applied to religious leaders of our generation. If society at large wishes for churches and religious people to continue doing the good that they do in the world, tolerating their voices, especially on moral issues, is a fair price to pay.

Mormons Seek the Truth of Their Faith Through Christ

2012-06-21T00:47:00.000-07:00

I think it's quite interesting and nothing ironic that Satan used a fruit to tempt Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden in the Bible.

There's a parable in The Book of Mormon that is quite familiar to Mormons. It's in the Book of Alma (Alma Chapter 32), about a righteous prophet in ancient times who preached amongst the poor who were shunned from their churches and synagogues and sought to worship God. They were desperate to find a way to still worship God even though they had been kicked out of their synagogues and shunned for basically being poor.

Alma recognized their humility and immediately took advantage of the opportunity to compare it to the pride of those that had cast them out. He then taught a lesson in faith, one that I think complements what I'm about to get to in a story from the Bible well.

Alma taught that faith isn't something that can be proven - it's something that instead has to be nurtured, and measured by its fruits. Alma challenged the people to plant a seed, being the word of God (or Christ's atonement and suffering for mankind's imperfections), in their hearts. He challenged them to nurture that seed and watch as it grows. As it grows, they would notice the good fruits from the tree that would come as a result. If the seed were bad, the fruit would be bitter, and perhaps the tree wouldn't grow at all. In many ways Alma taught the people a scientific experiment through faith - instead of seeking proof for something that simply can't be proven (it wouldn't be faith if it could), he suggested they measure the fruits that come as a result of the exercise of faith.

As Mormons, this, in many ways is a core tenet of our doctrine. Joseph Smith himself sought to ask the Lord, in faith to know the truthfulness of the Church. The Book of Mormon challenges us to ask, and challenge the contents within to know of the truthfulness using the methods that Alma outlined (I think Moroni was also alluding to Alma's parable of the tree as he challenged readers to pray and seek to know of the truthfulness of the book as well in Moroni 10:3-5).

As a lay Church, we know we're not perfect. Our leaders aren't perfect. We thrive on that seed - the atonement of Jesus Christ - to try out the Word, get to know it, and seek to improve upon the fruits and the growth that comes from it. This goes from the lay member all the way up to the lay Leadership that leads and guides the Church as well. Because we focus on this, we believe the Lord will always lead His Church as we focus on Him as that seed. The fruits that cowme of it are sweet and enjoyable. The minute we take Him and the seed out of the equation, the fruits become bitter, we try to be perfect, and we can't do it without Him. Christ, the Word, and the seed Alma alludes to, is at the center of the entire experiment, and what makes it successful.

I've noticed quite a number of people in and out of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints challenge Alma's experiment. Those seeking to follow God are ridiculed and mocked by them, even at times fooled into being given "refuge" away from what they originally believed as they were trying to participate in this experiment. Most of these people have forgotten that that seed is the Word, or the Atonement and Redemption of Jesus Christ, and they stray away from the experiment. This Op-Ed in USA Today on "Why Mormons Leave the Church" is a good example of that. Many of these people are given a different seed, see a different tree, of which the fruits can't be anywhere near as sweet. Many of them remain bitter as a result, forgetting that they planted the wrong seed and of course will see bitter results by losing that focus on the Savior in their lives. They're fooled into hoping for a better fruit which simply won't come because they've forgotten the Savior in the equation.

The Bible warns of this in Jesus Christ's Sermon on the Mount, and I really think Christ may be alluding back to Alma's parable (Alma pre-dates the time of Christ - this, in many ways was a look forward to the time Christ would come and save the world from sin as much as we look back on it). In such, just like Alma's parable, Christ Himself warns man to watch for these bitter seeds in the form of False Prophets, and even shows how you can know which path is the right one to take (Matthew 7:15-20):

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."

Mormons believe in looking at the fruits in everything we do. If in the end, the individuals are not leading a path back towards the Atonement of Christ, a path of repentance recognizing our (meaning all of our, not just lay members) imperfections, but even more than that, one of forgiveness, redemption, and the overcoming of absolutely all suffering in the world through Christ (and no one else), the source is evil. It's not true, and we won't follow it. It's a simple formula for understanding and finding truth in everything we do.

I think Alma concluded it best by himself tying his parable back to the Savior, culminating a beautiful sermon on how to find truth in this world (Alma 33:22-23):

"...cast about your eyes and begin to believe in the Son of God, that he will come to redeem his people, and that he shall suffer and die to atone for their sins; and that he shall rise again from the dead, which shall bring to pass the resurrection, that all men shall stand before him, to be judged at the last and judgment day, according to their works.

And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall plant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye will. Amen."

If you're looking for truth through faith, give Alma's sermon a try, and always remember what that seed means! The resulting focus should always be on Christ's redemption and Atonement of the imperfections of man - nothing else. It should be a resulting message of forgiveness, humility, love, and a desire to grow closer to God, and the resulting fruit will be sweeter than anything you've ever tasted. Anything else will lead to bitter fruit.

It's paying attention to this fruit which leads to a knowledge of everything good, and evil.

Mormons Believe That Living Prophets Speak Today [Infographic]

2012-03-31T00:04:00.000-07:00

Every year, twice a year, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints meets out of Salt Lake City, Utah, and broadcasts throughout the world in a bi-annual General Conference. At the Conference, called leaders of the Church, which Mormons believe to be prophets just as in the times of Moses, Abraham, or even Peter, James, and John, stand up and speak to address the world over satellite, internet, and many other means available. Mormons everywhere are excited for these events. They're the time when they get to hear men, called of God, speak about issues that are most pertinent to the world, in that given time and moment. Tomorrow at 10am Mountain time and Sunday, April 1 at 10am Mountain time, you can join tens of thousands of other Mormons around the world as we watch these men, called of God just as in times of old, address the world. Part of being a Mormon and believing as we do, as I've discussed here before, is hearing the words of these men in person, and coming to our own terms and understanding that the words they speak are true, and that these men are truly God's representatives here on earth.

I invite you to join us and experience this with me - anyone is welcome. Come see why I believe what I believe. Come see what real Mormons believe. More than anything, regardless of your belief, come learn from inspired men and women and people that will get you thinking in ways you haven't before. Starting tomorrow you can watch live on the internet on LDS.org. Also, feel free to follow the Tweets, and posts on Google+ from thousands of other members of the Church around the world talking about conference by following the hashtag, #ldsconf.

Winning Cub Scout Pinewood Derby Car Secrets

2012-03-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

Design does nothing. This is the part your Cub can do, and it doesn't matter how it looks or what shape it is. It can just be a block for all it matters.
Sand and polish the axles - start with course sand paper, and make your way to fine sand paper. This is also something your Cub can do.
Buy an axle press from the Scout Store - this will remove any unstraight axles. It also has an end to arch the end of the nail so the flat of the nail isn't rubbing against the whole wheel. This reduces friction. I have 4 boys so this will be re-used by every one of them.
Make sure your axles are straight. Any unstraightness will cause the car to veer right or left and cause more friction against the track.
If your Pack's rules don't forbid it (ours didn't), raise one of the front wheels higher than the other wheels. This reduces more friction, because fewer wheels are touching the track.
Weight! Weight! Weight! This is probably the most important factor. Go to the Scout Store and weigh your car (or use a package or food scale). It should be as close to the maximum weight as possible (usually 5 oz). Add more weight if needed. I bought some weights from the Scout Store, and added Pennies to increase the weight to the maximum. Fishing weights also work well for cheap.
Put your weight in back. It shouldn't be too far, but right before and on top of the rear axle, and as much weight as possible back there will have the greatest effect. My son's car would some times be slower going down the track, but because his weight was in the rear, that potential energy converted to kinetic energy, and he would always speed ahead of the other cars on the straight-way. Be careful though - if the weight is too far in the back, the car will do a wheelie at the bottom, and lose speed (and some times jump the track!).

Lastly, look up others' stories! There are plenty of people on the internet sharing stories. Google, and Youtube are your friends!

Mormons are Volunteers! [Infographic]

2012-03-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Mormon Newsroom just released this infographic on Mormons and volunteerism, based on a study sponsored by University of Pennsylvania, that shows how often Mormons volunteer in and out of their Church. This is one of the main reasons I'm a Mormon. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a Church of volunteers! Read more on the Mormon Volunteerism study here.:

People Are Wonderful

2012-03-18T12:33:00.001-07:00

I’m a Mormon and in all my years, I’ve never faced a personal attack on my religion.

The nearest thing to a personal attack on my religion was in graduate school, a visiting student (who later enrolled) asked me where I was from and upon hearing I was from Utah, she said, “how did you like that?” She was clearly referring to my experience living among “all the Mormons” but I confess, I forced her to say it, by asking her in reply, “What do you mean?”

She was, as you’d expect, a little embarrassed when she completed her query and I responded that I was a Mormon. We both smiled and that ended the conversation.

So that was it. The closest thing I’ve ever experienced to a personal attack on my religion.

Of course, I’ve had some theological discussions with people who don’t agree with LDS doctrine, but I’ve never been the recipient of a personal attack.

Furthermore, I’ve never observed any anti-Mormon discrimination in housing, education, employment or service in any business establishment. Might I have been the victim of some prejudice of which I was unaware? Perhaps. But I’m not that oblivious. Are there some who might have treated me different but for not knowing that I was LDS? Likely, but that only seems to confirm my theory that once people know one another it is unnatural if not impossible to treat them according to the artifice of a stereotype.

Personally, I conclude that the reason this is the case is because people are all so generally good. We are all good to the people we know. We respect each other and even judge one another less by stereotypes and labels than by our individual character—once we are acquainted.

Stereotypes are only used—and then wrongly—by people judging groups of people they don’t know.

The implication of this observation is clear: if you don’t like “Mormons” or any other group of people for that matter, the remedy is simple. Get to know one.

Want to guest post on Stay N Faithful? All writers interested in posting on the topics of religious freedom, Mormonism towards non-Mormon audiences, and patriotism in an unpopular world are welcome to submit a request! Contact Jesse at jesse@staynalive.com.

Mormons and Mormonism 101 [Infographic]

2012-03-08T13:08:00.001-08:00

Ever wondered about Mormons? This is a great infographic put out by LDS Newsroom about Mormons and Mormonism. See anything you didn't know? Click the link to learn even more:

Image source: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormonism-101