Not a resolution.
Not a checklist.
Just a single word.

It’s a practice that really took shape for me around 2012, when my Sunday school class read My One Word by Mike Ashcraft together. Ashcraft describes the purpose of choosing one word simply and beautifully: to help people walk with God. His book offers a kind of manual—choose a word, pair it with a scripture, meditate on it, and return to it again and again as the year unfolds.

That framework stuck with me.

Over the years, I’ve chosen words like heal, laugh, yes, and energy. Some of those words shaped entire seasons of my life. Others worked more quietly, doing their work beneath the surface. And then there are years—like last year—when I get to December and had to look back to see what my word was for 2025

Last year’s word, looking back, was intentionality.

I named it at the beginning of 2025 and then promptly forgot it, but I lived it. I had to. Decisions didn’t happen by accident. Relationships didn’t deepen by default. Ministry didn’t just “roll along.” Everything required intention—how I spent my time, where I said yes, where I said no, how I showed up when I was tired. 2025 was a hard year with health scares in my family, job transitions, financial changes, and well – life! All happening at once and all in turmoil (even if I made it or tried to make it seem easy).

And maybe that’s one of the gifts of this practice: even when we don’t hold the word tightly, the word can still hold us.

This past year, my life changed in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Two churches. Two cities. Two rhythms of ministry unfolding at the same time. A calendar that always feels one step ahead of me. A near-constant sense of running behind, rushing to the next thing, already thinking about what’s coming instead of where I am.

If I’m honest, there were moments when I felt fragmented—present everywhere and nowhere all at once.

So when it came time to choose a word for this year, the word didn’t arrive dramatically. It came quietly. Persistently. Almost insistently. I tried on many words, but this one wouldn’t let me go – this one called out like a needy child – PICK ME!

Presence.

Not productivity.
Not growth.
Not even rest.

Presence.

For me, presence means choosing to be fully where I am in the moment—whether that moment is holy or mundane, joyful or exhausting, planned or unexpected. It means resisting the temptation to live half a step ahead of myself. It means not letting the next meeting steal my attention from the person in front of me. It means trusting that God is already at work right here, not just “over there.”

Presence sounds simple. It’s not.

• Presence takes planning—because it doesn’t happen automatically in a crowded life.
• Presence takes patience—with myself and with the pace of things.
• Presence takes trust—trust that God provides a way to “get it all done,” even when I’m not hustling at full speed.

This year, I’m pairing the word presence with a verse that sustained me through much of 2025. It comes from Esther 4:14, paraphrased in my own words:

Maybe just maybe you are here and created for this!

That verse reminds me that this moment—this season, this calling, this complicated, beautiful, stretched-too-thin life—is not a mistake. I don’t need to rush through it to get to something more important. This is the important thing.

Presence, paired with that verse, becomes a kind of grounding prayer:
I am not late to my life.
I am not behind God’s timing.
I was created for this moment.

Choosing one word won’t magically simplify the year ahead. It won’t prevent exhaustion or eliminate hard days. But it does give me something to return to—a compass when I feel scattered, a touchstone when I forget what matters most.

And when I inevitably drift (because I will), the word waits patiently for me to come back.

So this year, I release the need to be everywhere.
I choose to be fully here.

Perhaps that’s enough.

It’s a dumpster fire of all dumpster fires

We are barely 3 weeks post-inauguration and new administration and quite frankly it’s a dumpster fire of all dumpster fires! The U.S. is grappling with political unrest, economic uncertainty, climate crises, and the everyday struggles of just being human. Add in the never-ending scroll of social media, where every post is designed to provoke a reaction, and it’s no wonder so many of us feel exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed.

Last week I created a cure graphic and promised myself I was going work toward a phone Free February – i.e. put my phone down, stop the doom scroll and be a healthier and happier person! I haven’t been particularly successful, but I have limited my online consumption some!

• 

  Limit Your Time – Use built-in app timers or screen time limits to keep your scrolling in check. Set specific times for checking news and social media rather than letting it consume your day.

• Curate Your Feed – Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel drained. Follow people and pages that uplift, educate, or make you laugh.
• Take Social Media Breaks – Try a weekend or even a full week off from social media. Notice how you feel. If you feel better, consider making these breaks a regular habit.
• Avoid Doomscrolling Before Bed – Your brain needs time to wind down. Instead of consuming heavy content before sleep, try reading a book, meditating, or listening to calming music.

• Check the Source – Is this information coming from a reputable news outlet? If you don’t recognize the source, verify with trusted sources before sharing. Do your own research! And that’s not a opinion piece. Find a good fact checker and use it! I like FactCheck.org but I also like to check different sources (especially ones that aren’t my particular political bent) Berkley has a good list of fact checking resources here 
• Be Wary of Sensationalism – Many headlines, memes, and posts are designed to provoke strong emotional reactions. If something seems outrageous, fact-check it.
• Diversify Your News Intake – If all your news comes from one place, you’re likely getting a skewed perspective. Follow a mix of sources to get a more balanced view.
• Ask: “Do I Need to Know This?” – Not every piece of news requires your attention. If it doesn’t directly affect you or your ability to help others, it’s okay to step back.
• Admit if you got it wrong – none of us are perfect! If you shared a wrong meme, story of information admit it and correct it.

• Move Your Body – My favorite is to ride my bike or take the dogs for a walk but any exercise, yoga, or even simple stretching can help relieve stress and boost your mood.
• Talk About It – Share your thoughts with trusted friends, a therapist, or a support group. Verbalizing your feelings can help lighten the load.
• Journal – Writing down your thoughts can be a powerful way to process emotions. It doesn’t have to be structured—just get it out on paper.
• Create – Paint, write, play music—whatever helps you express yourself. Creativity can be a powerful tool for emotional healing. I have been tacking home improvement projects. It focuses my mind elsewhere.
• Pray or Meditate – If you’re a person of faith, spirituality, or not lean into practices that ground you and remind you of hope. Silence can be restorative! I love the Calm App and the Centering Prayer app

• Support Causes That Matter to You – Whether through donations, volunteering, or advocacy, find ways to contribute meaningfully.
• Focus on Your Local Community – Sometimes, the biggest impact we can make is right in our own neighborhoods. Look for ways to support those around you.
• Set Realistic Expectations – You can’t fix everything. Choose one or two causes you care about and focus your energy there.
• Rest is Resistance – Burnout helps no one. Taking care of yourself allows you to keep showing up. I take a sabbath day each Friday! It helps!

the war – on the wrong side, but that’s another story (although I adore, and always have the idea of being a rebel). I think my mother is the catalyst for my fascination with World War 2. She has vivid memories of being a young child when the war began and of the war effort, I believe it came in her formative years, which indeed formed her. In return, her formation in those times in many ways formed me – even though we end up in differing places in our beliefs and conclusions.

On inauguration day 2025, which I refused to watch BTW, I was drawn to and read Abraham Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address, which was delivered 160 years ago this coming March. I had, on the Saturday before ,visited the 160th celebration of the battle at Fort Fisher, an annual event for me, and was thinking about the time of reconstruction that came after the end of the Civil War. I even allowed my thoughts to venture to how the world, my world growing up the the American South, would be different if Lincoln had survived.

I think this address is probably Lincoln’s greatest speech. Historian Kevin M. Levin says,

“Lincoln somehow manages to project strength, humility and vulnerability all at the same time through his words. It is easy to look back and view this address as one of the closing chapters of the Civil War, but that was anything but clear to Lincoln and the rest of the country. Lincoln could report on the “progress of our arms,” as “reasonably satisfying and encouraging to all,” but he had no idea how long it would it take for all Confederate armies to lay down their arms.

Other pressing questions loomed even larger. What would a lasting peace look like? How exactly would the former Confederate states be brought back into the Union? How would four million formerly enslaved men, women, and children be integrated into the country? Can a nation truly reconcile after so much violence and bloodshed?

Lincoln understood that the path toward reunion demanded a recognition of how the nation had arrived at this moment in time. “Both parties deprecated war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive, and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.”

I fear that we are entering a time much like the days before the Civil War. It’s cultural. It’s based in white supremacy. AND perhaps most important it is based on GREED – unadulterated Greed! And not the “Greed is good” catchphrase from the 1987 movie Wall Street!

I don’t know where we are headed – toward Civil War or a redux of World War 2 where we are under a Hilter-esk regime. But I do know that my fascination with these two time periods over the course of  the past 50ish years makes me worried and perhaps even afraid.

I invite you to read the words of Lincoln. Absorb them. Ponder Them.

Then ask yourself, HOW DO WE DO BETTER today in 2025?

Fellow-Countrymen:

At this second appearing to take the oath of the Presidential office there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement somewhat in detail of a course to be pursued seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of this great conflict which is of primary concern to the nation as a whole, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself, and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.

On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it, all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war—seeking to dissolve the Union and divide effects by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive, and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.

One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union even by war, while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war the magnitude or the duration which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with or even before the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. “Woe unto the world because of offenses; for it must needs be that offenses come, but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh.” If we shall suppose that American slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South this terrible war as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a living God always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said “the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.”

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Anyway, last Saturday night I got all excited to put up a tree! So we bought a coupon – a $40 tree for $28 – an NC TREE from a local store! Win – Win – Win, right…nope all their $40 trees were ~4ft (who wants to look down on the angel?). So I bah humbuged and grumbled (and grumbled about Christmas, about spent money, about…well, everything – it’s a rabbit hole).

During the week we went to a couple of stores looking at trees – they’re soooo expensive! more grumbling bah humbuging.

On Saturday we bit the bullet drove across town to the original place, determined to just spend more for a ‘happy’ tree. Afterall, we’re going to be here… this is the tree…unlike other year’s when my mom’s tree is THE tree of Christmas. We arrived to find they had NO TREES! more grumbling and bah humbuging. So we stopped at Lowe’s Home Improvement, bought a tree with a balding spot for way more than a bald tree is worth. (Side note, we arrived at checkout to find neither of us had our wallets! I had to dash home before purchasing – note to Lowe’s get your electric pmt system fixed) And brought it home.

We decorated inside the house. Put the tree in it’s stand string the lights…and were outta decorating time. bah humbug

Sunday morning – CRAP – Who put water in the tree? bah humbug It’s gonna be bald all over! So, Jennifer puts water in while I finish getting ready for church (because I’m running late – no surprise) and I hear – our tree stand has a leak…water is running every where! WHO HAS TIME FOR THIS! bah humbug

Mop up water. Go to Church. Come home. Lunch. Home Depot has 6 tree stands. I sit down to finish my sermon for Sunday night, Jenn runs to get tree stand – they have none! Bah humbug

Lowe’s no tree stand.
Walmart no tree stand.
I’m starting to think back to when my dad put our tree each year in a 5gal bucket with dirt (he didn’t need a tree stand)…I’ve no time or energy for digging…then Jenn called Island Tackle & Hardware yes, they have tree stands!

Tree stand home. Sermon done. Can we transfer the tree without removing the already strung lights? YES!

Decorating begins. Wait is that tree leaning?

Did the tree just fall over? Bah humbug

Tree’s back up but badly leaning…but we’ve no time to address this…off to church. As we’re driving home we place bets of whether or not the tree will be standing…Jenn won! It was.

Half decorated tree outta the stand. Bottom Limbs trimmed. Back in the stand. Reasonably straight. And decorated!

In 23 years Jenn and I have put up many trees. Never has it been such an ‘adventure’. In this year of pandemic, this season of waiting that has spanned 9 months and counting, we must celebrate all the times we just keep trying again, trying differently, getting up again. Bah humbugs and all!

Get up one more time, y’all.

And repeat as much as you need.

My goal is to ride 40 minutes each day for the 40 days of Lent. There is no speed goal. No distance goal. Only time and movement. The first day I fell short by 9 minutes. On day 2 Jenn rode with me and as I came to the point when my driveway was – RIGHT THERE – Jenn said, “Want to ride to the end of the street and back?” My head screamed NO! My legs concurred. But my mouth said “Sure”, because I didn’t want to appear weak and we rode a loop that gave us the extra 5 minutes we lacked to have gone the entire 40 minutes.

As we were out for our ride, we came to a place where the road is dirt (sand actually), that gives way to broken pavement and loose gravel. To make this all the more treacherous it’s a decent downward incline (I live in Southeastern NC, most everything is pretty flat) with a giant mud puddle at the end. As I was riding I was constantly looking ahead, choosing my path though the danger that created the possibilities for a crash. My safest way was very clear. I began to think about how easy it was for me to see the safest path and direct my bike tires to follow. Which reminded me of a scripture I loved as a teen Proverbs 3:5-6 (CEB)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
don’t rely on your own intelligence.
⁶ Know him in all your paths,
and he will keep your ways straight.

It was easy for me to trust my own judgment in choosing the path for my bike tires to follow yesterday. I was confident and self-assured that I would not fall and I would safely stay on my bike. But seeing life’s path is not as confident a place for me. Seeing God’s path for me isn’t always clear but  staying on God’s path is even harder. I don’t think I am alone in this struggle.

So, in this season of Lent, while riding my bike, I’ll be meditating on God’s path (while watching for cars and loose impediments); and engaging with those who can help me discern my path and spur me on.

Yesterday, I said a line I think I say every year “I want to like Christmas!” to which Jenn replied “Yeah, you like the idea of Christmas – reality not so much.”

I saw this video touted as the best holiday video this year, Maybe it is! Although I don’t know what’s Christmasy.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

A few days ago, I was reading through my twitter feed. It seemed as if each of my friends was complaining. Complaints about their neighbors, their co-workers, or unknown callers, professors and teachers, spouses and children…it was a smorgasbord of complaints.

I wondered if these people are really this unhappy. 

Or is it just convenient to take to social media to complain?

Gratitude – actively focusing on being thankful for what you have rather than a focus on what you lack.  
~ Gayle Tabor                                                   This definition is my own – and I hope Webster (and everyone else) will forgive my latitude.

How much gratitude do you have? 

The John Templeton Foundation commissioned a survey to determine how thankful Americans were. The polling firm Penn Shoen Berland surveyed over 2,000 people in the United States, capturing perspectives from different ages, ethnic groups, income levels, religiosity, and more. Their results provide an unprecedented snapshot of gratefulness in America.

According to the Greater Good website at Berkeley.edu:

This poll suggests that people think their own gratitude is increasing, while everyone else’s is going down.

The good news? This is impossible, and likely due to a well-documented bias: we’re better at noticing and tallying what we personally do than what other people do. It may also be the case that Americans have simply gotten worse at expressing gratitude to each other. According to the data, most of the people surveyed are feeling more grateful today, and only lack in their tendency to say “thanks”—despite knowing that expressing gratitude can bring more happiness, meaning, professional success, and interpersonal connection into their lives.

Is this true? Are we just not good at expressing gratitude? 

The past few years I participated in the annual Facebook and Twitter Tradition of posting Thirty Days of Thankful (AKA #30daysofthankful) for the month of November. Each year, as I pounded out my thirty day, I was haunted by the idea that it just wasn’wasn’t enough! AND by how hard it was by the last few days of the month to find the words (not to be thankful but to find the words to post). This year, I decided not to participate (but to write this post instead). Since it is now several days into December (and I’ve been working on this since the first of November) I think we can all agree these words aren’t coming easy either. <grin>

However, my inability to find words has little to do with the gratitude I feel.

Or does it? If I am not expressing gratitude, what am I expressing? 

As I stated in the beginning it is easy on social media and in life to find someone who is complaining. However, are they really that unhappy or is it just easy (and a habit) to complain?

My guess is that the answer lies in all of the above. Gratitude is hard to express. We all have some reason to be unhappy. And, it’s so easy to complain than address real problems.

What should we do? 

The answer is simple – be thankful! There are a myriad of reasons why (I’ve listed some here):

It’s good for your heart – A 1995 study in the American Journal of Cardiology showed that appreciation and positive emotions are linked with changes in heart rate variability.

Sleep Better – spending time writing what you are thankful for before you fall asleep will help you get to sleep quicker and sleep more soundly, according to a study in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.

Boost your immune system – Gratefulness is linked with optimism, which in turn is linked with better immune health. Gratitude, it turns out, can help us better manage stress. “Gratitude research is beginning to suggest that feelings of thankfulness have tremendous positive value in helping people cope with daily problems, especially stress,”.

Better grades – Grateful high-school students have higher GPAs — as well as better social integration and satisfaction with life according to a 2010 study in the Journal of Happiness Studies. The study reports that materialistic youth seem to be languishing while grateful youth seem to be flourishing. I think this probably translates to better work reviews and satisfaction.

Be a better friend – Those who express gratitude have better social circles. Perhaps because gratitude makes us more willing to help others and therefore boost pro-social behaviors According to a 2003 study in the the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Have a better love life – a study by the University of North Carolina showed that ”Men and women with grateful partners felt more connected to the partner and more satisfied with the romantic relationship. The researchers found that the emotion of gratitude ultimately helps people find, remind, and bind themselves to others who seem to care about their welfare.”

Which leads us to a much harder question – HOW?

There is the obvious answer – actively focusing on being thankful for what you have rather than a focus on what you lack – which I gave you at the beginning. However, it can’t really be that simple can it?

YES! It is really that simple! 

In almost all of the studies mentioned they imply or even flat out say that journaling your gratitude is a great way to help you focus. I keep a journal – it’s difficult to write everyday (even though I keep mine electronically and am able to speak my thoughts). I’m sad to say that although I share my inner most thoughts in my journal (and some of those ARE complaints) I rarely journal about being thankful. That’s about to change!

JOIN ME!

I am committing to write once each week about gratitude. I have no doubt they will be personal thoughts. I also have no doubt that there will be those worthy of sharing. Although, I will write mine in my journal but don’t think you need a fancy book or online blog – a scrap of paper will do!

WRITE! 

The challenge to me, and now to you, is to write once a week about why you are grateful. Write to yourself, write to your blog, or write to your social media feeds.

SHARE! 

Then share, no need to share everything but share something; each week share something you are thankful for and use the hashtag #52thx. That’s 52 weeks of thankful.

SEARCH! 

Search for others sharing – just search Facebook, twitter or google+ for #52thx – and write encouragement to someone.

INVITE!

Lastly, invite others to join in and experience a year of gratitude.

THE CHALLENGE MADE CLEAR – 

Just so we are all clear on what we are doing, write something each week about something (doesn’t have to be just one thing) you are grateful for in your life. Share one thing via social media (with hashtag #52thx). Encourage others who are participating. And invite friends and family to join.

Lets make 2014 the year of thanksgiving!

We have reached the end of summer – WHAAAAAAT? 

Labor Day Weekend (the unofficial end to summer) begins in a matter of hours! School started back this week (at least for my neighbors kids – check local listings for times and days in your area). All of which leads me to the classic question:

What did you do this summer? 

For me it was a busy summer. Full of Farmers Markets and work; Wildlife and new friends; small adventures and learning new things;  sea turtles and WOW is that just amazing; and just getting off the couch! It was a summer of doing things! (and still there was plenty of couch time). I read more, I complained less.  In years past plans would be made but when it came time to do – – the appeal of relaxing won!

It is easy to justify enjoying the air conditioning after working 8-10 hours in the sun! It’s effortless to give in and choose ease over exertion. But not this summer! This summer a conscious decision was made to do things. I made a conscious decision to live life! I saw the beach and sat on the beach more this summer than I have in probably 10 years.

 However, the most important thing I did this summer – – I stopped comparing my life to someone else’s life!

WOW! Is it freeing! 

You see when you are in that comparison game it is easy to find a plethora of people who fill the need of your comparison. (I know that’s a strange sentence – so, let me explain). I can make myself seem better, or worse, depending on who I use as my comparison stick. But my life, my talents, my interests do not always align with the person I use for comparison.

It is like comparing apples and oranges. 

One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Albert Einstein:

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”  ~~ Albert Einstein

It is difficult to not look at other peoples lives and compare. It is difficult to hear someone’s story and not wish to one-up them or to tell them how your life is worse (maybe that’s one-down them?).

I almost believe it is human nature. To use others to build ourselves up or to use our story to break others down. However, it is VERY freeing to decide not to compare! In the end, we are all walking a hard path, but it is our path. We may have friends who join for a while. We may share burdens. In the end we all walk at our own pace on our own path.

I implore you today to enjoy your walk. Focus on your path!

I dreaded the idea of the cost and effort to fix the problem, so I chose the path of least resistance. I can’t tell you how many times we’d just take a large pan and ‘fill it from the tub’. It was far easier to carry water throughout the house than to consider the cost and consequences of a real repair.

A couple of weeks ago, as I waited for the coffee carafe to fill with water, I decided I had had enough! It was time to at least see what the problem was. I began by removing the strainer at the faucet. Amazingly the problem was the strainer – it was clogged!

Within minutes, the catalyst of the problem was clear! Even better was the fact that the fix was quick, easy and very inexpensive.

But wait, there’s more!

This isn’t just a story about my faucet. It’s a reminder that often the problems we imagine are a huge mountain – We imagine thousands of dollars in costs – We imagine huge investments of time that are really molehills, minor and simple. We often imagine the mountain when we encounter a molehill.

We imagine the worst possible scenario and become paralyzed by fear.

Fear can be a great motivator and a powerful tool of survival (especially when there is possibility of a lion attack); however, fear can also become the antithesis of action. Fear allows us to take a little mole-hill and create a mountain in our minds. Dale Carnegie once said

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

In an effort to help me ‘overcome fear and go out and get busy’ here are the 4 steps I have come up with to overcome fear:

1 – STOP THINKING START DOING – I can and oft do get so caught up in thinking about a project / problem / idea. I spend so much time and effort thinking and planning that I do not actually do anything.

2 – REDEFINE FAILURE – this is ridiculously hard for me! However, with each thing that doesn’t work you are one step closer to discovery of the thing that does work.

3 – REALIZE DOING NOTHING IS AN ACTION – by avoiding or doing nothing I am taking an action. I know it seems strange but the act of inaction is in itself an action. By taking responsibility for the action of inaction I can spur myself to being more proactive.

4 – SHIFT FOCUS – By shifting my focus to what I can gain it becomes easier to act. In the example of the faucet when I was completely focused of how much I wanted better water pressure I was spurred to action.

Choose to be fearless today!

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. ~ William Shakespeare

However, in my short perusal, I encountered an idea that so perfectly dove-tailed with something I have been thinking and meditating on for most of this year – allow me to share.

The story in the book invites you to imagine that 30 years in the future you are attending a funeral. When you arrive you know all the people in attendance and as you approach the casket you realize it’s you that has died. Your spouse is prepared to give a eulogy about you. What would they say? The idea is that your spouse – the person who knows you best – will have far different insights into who you really are than anyone else in the room. If they honestly stood in to look back at your ‘body of work’ a true look at your at your lifetime; what would they say?

The author then talks about how we are all DAILY beings. It is the things we do everyday that make up the whole of who we are.

DAILY BEINGS! 

In the grand scheme of things I would want to be painted with broad brush strokes. I sometimes think the broad strokes cover the small daily missteps or miscues. However, this book drives home the point that our life is just the opposite. The things we do daily make up the broad stroke picture of our lives! Everyday is just one more pixel in the picture of your life.

I have written several places where I am sure to see it daily the following quote:

The Difference Between Who You Are And Who You Want To Be IS What You Do TODAY. 

Do you complain everyday?

Do you laugh everyday?

Is nothing ever good enough?

Do you hug your spouse or kids everyday?

Do you worry everyday?

Do you learn or try something new everyday?

Do you yell at your kids or spouse everyday?

Do you take time to meditate everyday?

Are your days too busy to take time to appreciate little things?

Do you exercise everyday?

Are your food choices healthy everyday?

At the beginning of 2013 we began a practice in our house of putting a smiley face on the kitchen calendar every day we successfully ate every meal at home. Our budget said we ate out WAY too much. However, it didn’t feel like we ate out a lot. We quickly learned that although it didn’t seem like much – it was easy to make excuses, develop reasons, or conveniently forget previous dining – we were indeed eating out far more than we should! I have said this before –

If you can’t measure it you can’t change it

Maybe you are like me, just because you know how to do something; just because you can identify the problem, you believe that in some magic way the problem is already solved.

For example, I know I should avoid sweet treats (even though I love them). I also know that I can occasionally indulge in a sweet cheat without dire consequences. However, when I conveniently forget prior indulgences, when I make excuses, when I allow an occasional cheat to be come a daily habit, the consequences (weight gain, higher blood sugar levels, etc) become clear.

Because we are experts at rationalizing to ourselves the one little indulgence – the one little indulgence that becomes a daily habit – it is helpful to track and measure.

It may seem silly. 

But you can track and measure anything. Track the days when you avoid complaining. Track when you laugh. Track when you hug your spouse or kids. Track when you meditate. Track when you avoid worry. Track and document your appreciation of little things.

For me, the smiley face on the calendar is reason enough for me to pass by convenient lunch or dinner and come home and cook. The orange squares (signifying completed) on my marathon training calendar are motivation to do it again tomorrow. The joy of seeing the physical manifestations of success helps me to stay on the path of being who I really want to be and meet my goals to get there.

Decide who you wish to be today – repeat it everyday (even if it means giving yourself a smiley face for the day) – and you will be exactly who you wish to be.