Steal The Rush

Ask Me Why I'm Geeked Out

2011-02-07T08:11:00.000-05:00

Our annual Disciple Now weekend is rollin' up real quick. The theme this year is Geeked Out. If you don't use this type of lingo, to be "geeked out" is to be totally obsessed with something most people find peculiar or of no value. So you ask why are we Geeked Out?

Then turning to the disciples [Jesus] said privately, "Blessed are the eyes that see what you see! For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." Luke 10:23-24

It's...(and by "It's" I mean all of existence, from galaxies down to gas in your stomach, from q-tips to Lil Wayne, from futbol to Abe Lincoln, from your innermost thoughts to Obama...EVERYTHING) is all about, only about, and always about Jesus. Most people (and I lump Christians into most people) would concede that Jesus has some value, but to be totally obsessed with Him and to exhaust every part of ourselves for Him seems to be a rarity. But that's what we are made to do, so for just over 36 hours we are gonna absolutely showcase Jesus and get buck wild for Him.

My students are already geeked out (at least over the event anyway). A couple of them made this hilarious video for promo on out Facebook fanpage, Geeked Out Dnow 2011.

Jesus=Shock Value

2011-01-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

Shock value defined is when something is communicated (written, spoken, or displayed) with the intent of grating against the dominate flow of what people consider acceptable. It is to arouse repugnance. I had a professor advise me once in regards to a title of one of my papers that there is no value in shock value. I would agree...but no I wouldn't. I'll qualify that: saying or doing something shocking just to amuse (which is to disengage the mind), irritate, or draw attention for the sake of attention, then it is probably worthless rhetoric. But if the unexpected exhibition spurs one out of delusion or into deeper realization of Truth, then there is an argument for it. This may be a shock in and of itself, but if Jesus used shock when he interacted with people, there has to be some value in it. Yes, Jesus, by his very nature is shock value. We, believers and unbelievers alike, are guilty of recycling caricatures of Jesus. We highlight one or a few attributes of Jesus neglecting, ignoring, or being completely unaware of others, thus making Jesus seem like a freak instead of the Jesus we read about in the Gospels. Proverbs tells us, "there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death." Man's morality leads to death, and Jesus was ferociously violent towards man's "morality." Jesus was violent. He is violent. He is violent to our delusion as broken people. And immediately your mind and heart are blowing up with rebuttals. But consider that just like using shock to communicate is neither a good or bad thing, but depends on the motive, so are most things, including violence.

One instance Jesus is violent:

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea." Mark 9:42

I'll unpack and defend this idea in the next post, but until then, know that Jesus' shock value in this verse is righting our delusion.

The Most Interesting Man in the World (most Tweetable quotes)

2010-12-30T21:45:00.001-05:00

Occasionally I've seen the Dos Equis commercials and always was like, "huh?" A co-worker showed me this video, and I was hooked on this bearded character. I can imagine I will use some of these quotes as tweets. Do you like? Dislike?

Paracord Preoccupation

2010-12-22T22:20:00.000-05:00

Sometime during the awkward ages of middle school I thought it was cool to wear hemp jewelry. I actually became decent at making it. I was shown a simple Solomon's Bar knot and was able to figure out variations to make all sorts of different style jewelry. Just recently I saw an ad on Facebook for survival bracelets and discovered a whole area of interest in paracord knot work. With my familiarity with making hemp jewelry and stalking this blog, my interest in knot work was reignited with my typical obsessive compulsive style...below are my first paracord pieces.

This is a woven and half-stitch pouch inspired from here.

This is a replacement watchband for my Luminox watch with a wide Genoese Zipper Sinnet, a shackle, and an Emerson Pewter skull bead.

I really enjoy messing around with decorative knots. Not sure most people get the fascination, but I know people must like the finished products since survival bracelets (which I could make in 20 minutes) sell for $25. Maybe this is a possible side-business venture?

Tangierman Love 'em Some Pigskin

2010-11-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

I have a Bachelor of Science in Speech Communications, and I think most graduates would attest to the reality that you forget the majority (or at least the specific details) of what you once learned to regurgitate on a test. I had this one particular professor who tested in what I consider the most challenging forms of testing. Some one argue a short essay test is the most difficult, but you can generally make crap up and still get a passing grade. This prof's tests where 100-150 questions with fill-in-the-blank answers with no word banks, no study guides, and no cheat sheets. She was expecting specific words; synonyms and abbreviations were marked wrong. She simply told us we could be tested on ANY of the content that was covered, from the text or any random thing she or another student contributed to the dialogue during the class lectures. Because of having to adjust my note taking and the way I processed and filed information, I think that I retained *and can access* more knowledge that I gained from her classes than any other. I remember in my Interpersonal Communications course we were studying the implications of dialect and she showed us a video clip of one of the most unique American dialects in the entire country, spoken among only just over 500 people on Tangier Island, Virginia. I have no ties to Tangier Island, but was intrigued that fellow Virginians have such a unique culture and dialect that is almost undiscerning as English at times. So when I saw this video on ESPN 3, I was particularly entertained because of my ties to communication studies. How cool is it that Tangier Island, population 507, is considered the Biggest Sports Town in American per capita all because of the introduction of high-speed connectivity? Ironic.

Layers of Meaning

2010-11-04T15:43:00.002-04:00

When the stars align in just the right way my wife and I seem to have the same taste in things...apparently I have a proclivity towards the odd, the unusual, the uncool, unfashionable, the ridiculous...I digress. My wife has a respectable balance in her music preferences while I typically am all or nothing in a particular genre. However, the stars are synced, and we are currently both enjoying the new 10 years album, Feeding the Wolves, and in particular the song, Don't Fight it. Listen and enjoy:

(Lyrics)

I don't share this hoping that you become a fan of 10 Years but rather because a scripture is always playing over and over in my head: For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s. 1 Cor 3:21-23 What this means is where ever, whenever, however, and whatever you notice is true *as lovers of Jesus* because we belong to Him, it belongs to us. Understanding this puts a lens of Redemption on our eyes...a filter of Redemption on our ears...an interpretation of Redemption on our hearts...

In our culture, the word "love" has so many miles put on it that it carries little if any weight...yet the concept in the ancient Hebrew culture was more than mere hormonal firings and flippant lingo, but a spiritual, emotional, and physical actuality with layered meaning between two real, raw people. Three Hebrew words designated to describe the scope of love: Ra'ah (pronounced "Ra-yah"), Ahavah (pronounced "Ah-ha-vah"), and Dod (pronounced "Dode").

Ra'ah means "companion", but not like "buds". It's more like knowing someone's polished side and their raunchy junk too...so the very nature of it means there has to be time and struggle. Ahavah cannot transpire until Ra'ah is present. Ahavah means "the love of the will" interpreted as

"I. am. not. going. anywhere."

Picture a person trapped in a fiery house with no hope of escape and her lover coming to her and refusing to leave...fading together. Picture again a dude hiding behind a piece of furniture while his wife is throwing knives at him in attempts to kill him and him yelling to her, "I'm STILL not leaving!" Crazy? Love. Ahavah. It's the safety net of a relationship. Again, time and struggle.

When these two aspects of love are actual, Dod occurs. Dod means "to carouse, rock, fondle, or mingle." People often think Dod is the Hebrew word for sex (come on, what else do you use the word fondle for?) Yet, Dod is more than the exchanging of fluids, though Dod is indeed present during sex (crass, yes, but it's what our culture has reduced it to). Dod is the mingling...of souls. Two becoming one.

Ra'ah, Ahavah, and Dod are a pulsating rhythm that seems like a mythical apparition in our culture, but in reality is ever present, emanating from Jesus. He is love; He knows our strengths and weakness because He knit us; He isn't going anywhere, proved by the Cross; and He then progressively sanctifies us because His Spirit lives in and through us. Now remember the Hebrew mind thinks with word pictures layered in meaning. So...

With Don't Fight It on repeat on my iPod, I can't help but hear Ahavah...(maybe I read into my music too much, but I prefer that all truth is mine.) I beg Jesus for this with my wife, that though she generally dislikes my taste in things; though I splash water all over the bathroom like a bird bath; though I sleep walk to the extreme; though my iniquities have led her to throw objects at my head; when we fall into each other, we won't fight it. And the pulsating rhythm continues...I know ra'ah, ahavah, and dod are a reality in part with my bride because we receive them in whole from my Father.

Porcellana Signora

2010-10-24T17:00:00.001-04:00

“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” Ephesian 5:28

Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life. 1 Peter 3:7

I can tell you a lot of things about my wife that I know, and I also can't tell you a lot of things about my wife that I should know. But from the above verses, I can tell you she would probably have no qualms about the first one except that it seems like a pipe dream, but the second one would make her claws come out. Peter always was the idiot I suppose, saying stupid crap to the point Jesus called him Satan; cutting people's ears off, and calling women weaker vessels? Seems like for a husband to be "understanding" he'd better not call his wife a weaker vessel. I know from experiential fact that my wife is smarter and tougher than me, laboring for 22 hours (including 2.5 hours of pushing) with my son, with not. even. one. Tylenol...and my daughter practically ripping her way out into the world. How about this, she tried pulling the stitches out of her jaw while still sitting in the dentist chair after getting her wisdom teeth cut out. I've learned as a pro complainer to try and keep any of my ailments from her knowledge, because she has an unreal pain threshold, and I can't afford to be a wimp. BUT, sometimes I accidentally will bump her in bed...sometimes it is a pretty hard hit like an elbow to the neck when rolling over (I tend to flop), but for the most part very mild compared to the pain I've seen her handle, and you'd think I'd intentionally punched her in the nose. She becomes offended and hurt. Baffling? I like to pretend I'm baffled and that I'm the victim, being attacked for nothing. But...Reality.

Reality is that the Bible is 100 % true and helpful (2 Tim 3:16) and the boneheaded Peter, lets men on a not-so-secret secret about women. When he calls them the "weaker" vessel, he is in no way suggesting that women are lesser in ANY way than men. So, retract the claws, please, at least in one hand and let me unpack this.

Weaker vessel is a reference to porcelain, that women are like porcelain, known for its considerable strength and hardness as well as its elasticity, glassiness, brittleness, translucence, beauty, and resonance. I could elaborate on all of these attributes in women in a week's worth of posts. The take-away point for husbands is to watch what comes out of your mouth towards them, watch how you touch them, watch how you handle them. They are not to be handled verbally or physically rough. Like porcelain. I think this plays out physically in not being a dope and accidentally breaking her bones when you flop over in bed, and by ferociously making time for just her with no other agenda but to enjoy her and do the things that make her know you love her...and I think this plays out spiritually by living and breathing the truths of the Bible consistently with relentless love, patience, clarity, gentleness, and tenderness. Men are called to be nail-pierced servants to their wives.

Oh how I need the grace of Jesus to fill in my miserable, continual failures at this. Sometimes irony is a disguise for His Grace: my wife made a mixed CD once with songs that would remind me of her feelings and needs, and this song was on it:

"I Bruise Easily" by Natasha Bedingfield

My skin is like a map

Of where my heart has been

And I cant hide the marks

Its not a negative thing

So I let down my guard

Drop my defenses down by my clothes

I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily

So be gentle when you handle me

There's a mark you leave

Like a love heart carved on a tree

I bruise easily

Can't scratch the surface

Without moving me underneath

I bruise easily

I found your fingerprints

On a glass of wine

Do you know you're leaving them

All over this heart of mine too

But if I never take this leap of faith

I'll never know

So I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

Anyone who can touch you

Can hurt you or heal you

Anyone who can reach you

Can love you or leave you

So be gentle... I bruise easily

The Gospel Gecko...yeah I'm talking about the Geico Gecko

2010-10-07T23:11:00.000-04:00

Geico Commercials seem to always catch my attention...they have a simple humor that resonates...the cavemen have become iconic...even the enduring honesty of Abe Lincoln becomes refreshing. And unless you you are heartless, that little Gecko, Australian...or British, (it's doesn't matter) just makes you want to have a lizard for a pet...well, not really, but He's cute. I saw this particular commercial the other night, and instantly saw Gospel implications. If we play the word association game, I say "Geico," you say, "Gecko." Sure, Geico is an insurance company, but really, it's the Gecko. So, isn't it interesting that Gecko defers the attention off of himself?

There is a theological term, “perichoresis,” that comes from two Greek words, peri, which means “around” and chorea, which means “dance.” It refers to to the reciprocal indwelling and intersecting of the three persons of the Triune Godhead, Father, Son, and Spirit. All explanations of the Trinity ultimately deteriorate, but C.S. Lewis's explanation helps our finite, logical minds understand it, at least from one perspective. He writes in Mere Christianity, "...in Christianity God is not a static thing - not even a person - but a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life, almost a kind of drama. Almost, if you will not think me irreverent, a kind of dance." The Father, Son, and Spirit have perfect communion and intimacy with one another. The Father loves the Son by means of the Spirit’s procession and the Son loves the Father by the same means. The Spirit loves both the Father and the Son and eternally proceeds from the Father and Son. Each glorifies one another, and all "glory" means is placing weight and significance on something. There is no selfishness whatsoever in the Trinity.

Jesus said, "If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.' John 8:54

A little later, Jesus tells his disciples, ^"When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you." John 16:13-15

The root of all sin is self-centeredness. We glorify, or place the weight and significance, on people, things, concepts, feelings, etc. that cannot hold up the weight of glory...they, which the Bible calls idols, crumble and frustrate us. The most common idol is ourselves, and we would be wise to follow the leading of all the members of the Trinity and even the Geico Gecko, and defer the glory... to the one who not only deserves it but the only one who can actually receive it, Jesus. It's all about Jesus, always about Jesus, and only about Jesus.

Extraneous Cranius (or something)

2010-09-30T10:10:00.002-04:00

What do the two pictures below have in common?

Both the roider and Stewie have heads that don't match their bodies. I have learned that you can find a redeeming element in anything...any story...including the abuse of drugs and the obscenity of Family Guy...because redemption is found not within but outside in the grander Story. There is huge Gospel implications in the characters above, that the Gospel (For you sake, He became sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God) not only saves us for eternity but also sanctifies us today (I like to call it Jesus Swag).

1 Corinthians 12:27 says, "Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."

And, Ephesians 4:15-16 says, "...speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love."

Followers of Jesus, Christians, Believers, Children of God, are freaks to the world. Scripture clearly teaches that the Cross is foolish and offends those who are not saved. But our peculiarity should have nothing to do with how we as Christ's body correspond to our head, Jesus. Do YOU resemble JESUS? Take inventory of your heart, what stirs your affections? If you are honest (which for Christians seems to be an issue) you have to admit that your heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick. If you don't admit it, read Jeremiah 17:9. For us to grow into our head, Jesus, we need to nearly moment-to-moment preach the Gospel to ourselves, that we aren't deserving of His Grace, but Jesus offers it to us freely (as Americans, we know "freedom don't come free"...Jesus's flesh was ripped off and his holiness was obliterated with the whole world's sin). We love because He first loved us...Obeying Jesus, then is not a have to but a get to.

A mark of your maturity as a Believer, a sure sign you got Jesus Swag, that the head and body are proportionate, is that when you sin you run to Him and not from Him to clean yourself up.

Adrenaline Junkies are a Dime a Dozen

2010-09-27T07:05:00.040-04:00

My wife and I never fight...but we did this once...and it just so happened to be last night...the fight really wasn't necessary but I found a way to mimic the Rocky Mountain Canary, and so things kinda escalated. We were driving in the car and she casually asked me if I had listened to the lyrics of a song to which I casually answered no. You may wonder how in the world this could mutate into a quarrel. I won't unpack the whole deal but to say that I have the proclivity to check out of my present and am mentally and emotionally invested somewhere else in the gray matter. This has much deeper implications than tuning out to the radio...there are heart and ultimately Gospel implications in my checking out.

In 1968 Bernie Krause, a bioacoustician (that is a dude that records the natural sounds of nature), could compile 1 hour of unpolluted audio of nature (that is no planes, trains, or cars...straight nature) from just 15 hours of recording. I say just 15 hours because today it takes over 2000 hours of recording to compile 1 hour of undisturbed sounds of nature. Our reality is wired into noise...constant stimulation and connection...to the point that there is empirical evidence that the modern world is rewiring us physiologically...we are adapting to a pace that operates out of shear adrenaline so that when that drive is cut off, we experience pain physically, emotionally, and mentally. Point in case: we take our phones to the bathroom...we can't even take dump alone (crass, yes, but true)...our ipod or radio has to be on as soon as we start the car...I and now my entire family has to sleep with not just a fan but one in every room of the house on....and on and on you could make a case. Silence can only be tolerated...well...it's just not tolerated...in our world, it's nearly impossible to find it or even create it (The irony: generating silence). Seems that adrenaline junkies are a dime a dozen.

Back to my world where I'm here but not really. The noise is in my head and in my heart. Life has a way of piling on. I can literally be sitting in front of the witty, humorous, intelligent, discerning, creative, deep, sexy wife of my youth and on the floor wrestling with my son and snuggling with my daughter and miss out on the utter, raw, beautiful gift that they are. I have only a few more months before my son is talking properly...only a few more months of heyacopta (helicopter) and swubseeb (slushy)...what a beautiful gift. My baby girl is already a year old and changes literally daily...One day I won't be able to delight in all her yum...kissing her thighs and her tummy...

Got one more irony for this post: the lyrics to that song playing in our car are this:

I'm swimming in the smoke / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
It's in the blackened bones / of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize / I'm losing what I don't deserve
What I don't deserve
- Linkin Park

Next to justification, there is no greater Grace that I have than my wife and kiddos, and I want to...no, HAVE TO intentionally, ferociously, decisively kill the idol of stimulation for the sake of stimulation...it inevitably robs from my soul to the point of destruction. The New Testament authors continuously charge believers to be sober-minded, that is clear-headed and attuned into the present and into the graces that come through the Cross...my bride and my heritage.

Tears (Número Dos)

2010-09-23T07:37:00.013-04:00

If you have ever read my blog over the past 10 months you know that I am not the most consistent of bloggers, but I figured my previous post needed a hastier follow-up so that you don't think that I've transitioned into one of those weirdo diary type blogs that seems like a hacking up of T.M.I. or petty gripes or blundering slurs...But I'm not an idiot to scare away my 2 readers (I hope anyway)...

I think that I'm still staying true to the vision of my blog: "Life often is a blur, so I intend to blog as a way to slow down or steal the rush and linger on a concept, experience, Scripture verse, quote, video, obsession, gripe, or a person..."

So, taking a new medication for ADHD has kinda forced me to slow down...or at least my mind seems a little more settled. I said at the end of the previous post that the melancholy which is a side effect of the medication has acted as a primer of sorts. With this medication I get sad sometimes to the point of tears throughout the day. Sometimes I have no idea why...my wife will notice a somberness, ask if I'm grumpy...I'm quick to say that I'm not grumpy!...but notice that I am indeed sad. Other times I'm moved by someone else's story...I've recently been enamored by the story and life of a pastor named Britt Merrick. His little girl has had cancer and just recently it came back with a vengeance. What moves me to worship Jesus is the rawness of Britt's love and trust of Jesus. I want Jesus to be my only delight. Still other times I feel the weight of being a daddy to my unique babies ferocious in love and protection...and a husband willing to die to myself for their beautiful mommy. And I tear up at my past and present failures, but also at the faithfulness of Jesus to bless me despite me. More than anything, even if none of them understand it, they need Jesus to be my delight and portion above them and anything. The melancholy has caused me to ponder on the things of most importance, which leads me to the realization of my inadequacy, and then to the abounding adequacy of Jesus.

I don't worship my medicine...but I think in His paradoxical way that He likes to move, God has used the side effects of the medicine to bring sensation back to my numbed emotions and draw me closer to him and farther from me. I'm confident that if I stopped the medicine, Jesus has given me a deeper and broader understanding of The Gospel...for our sake, He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God...and a deeper affection for Him so that whether in blessing or suffering I can cry hard at His goodness, majesty, mystery, power, and beauty.

For Your Beautiful Name, Jesus.

There is an Irony in Tears

2010-09-21T16:19:00.018-04:00

As a boy I think I cried a lot. I cried when I got hurt, when I got angry, when I was embarrassed, and when I was denied; as I matured I cried not so much over pain but over remorse for sin, the death of people I knew, and I can't think of a lot of other things (even when I broke my leg the tears I cried were more from emotions than pain). The asinine notion that boys don't cry transitioned for me into the idea that men don't cry. And despite the occasional flow when I felt guilty or the reality of death hit my life I developed an emotional constipation. This resulted in numbness, hardness, and despite a desire to cry, the inability to do so. I even developed a bitterness towards myself for not being able to cry. But in some form of mockery I would feel that tingling sensation under my eyes for people or situations I had no ties to what so ever. I say mockery because oh how the reality smothered me that I was so screwed up that I could feel the weight of life, the gut wrenching pain at times, and had no other outlet but rage. The rage would just scrape even more at the scars and drive the numbness deeper. I just wanted to cry, to bawl, and not have the thought of "you're crying...there's no need for that"...and it abruptly shut off, and the emotions abruptly sucked back inside into obscurity, into non-reality...and I would continue to drone on. I wanted to cry so hard that my body shook and I couldn't speak. There is an irony in tears. There is a rightness that wells with tears. I think people that have uninhibited tears could probably explain it better than me. I've heard a woman once describe how she secures a time to be alone to cry. She would put on some sad music and just cry. I just wanted to cry.

I just want to cry.

I don't cry. It sucks. But I'm hopeful that I am regaining a sensation, and though I consider it to be manufactured, I think that once tears flow, it probably becomes easier for them to flow the next time and the next. I say it's manufactured because depression is a side effect of the medicine I'm currently taking. I feel a melancholy quite often which has led me to experience that tingling sensation multiple times a day. I have even had tears enough to wipe way. You might be thinking that I'm joking. I can't possibly appreciate this. That this may even be an unhealthy fascination. Let me explain.

There is this theological reality called common grace. Specific or salvific grace is the Grace God extends through Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection to reconcile wicked humanity to Himself. Common grace is the goodness God extends to all humanity to better life. Every human experiences billions of common graces in his or her life. Scripture teaches that what humans intend for evil, He is able to and often do use for good. This means that almost anything can be labeled a common grace. My medicine is a common grace. It is designed to help me focus. But the melancholy I think has acted as a primer of sorts. And so I'm hopeful.

When I started writing this post I was not certain of the direction and have managed to go long. So I'll write a follow-up post to unpack all of this even further.

New Jam

2010-09-13T23:48:00.002-04:00

For my two faithful readers (you know who you are), here's the latest new vocal from Brent Smith, front-man for Shinedown. I know I'm partial, but I love it...I think I would love anything he sang...even I'm a Little Tea Pot...I have heard him sing Happy Birthday...nothing less than phenomenal. Anyway, give me some feed back on the new song called "Not Strong Enough" by Apocalyptica, featuring Brent Smith from Shinedown:

Some idols are carved out of wood or gold...mine comes in the form of coaches polls, computer ratings, hard hits, and bragging rights.

2010-09-07T13:31:00.021-04:00

My wife sent a Twitpic last night during the VA Tech and Boise State game that said, "and so it begins." Being as honest and blunt as possible, I am obsessed with college football...the Longhorns, the competition, and especially the weekly drama of the BCS polls. For 13+ weeks during the Fall a huge chunk of my conversation is spent on talking smack with friends who pull for rivalry teams. My time is spent checking ESPN.com and watching recaps, preview videos, and stats. My whole person gets hugely invested in the whole ordeal. I remember two seasons ago when Texas was stuntin' their way straight into the BCS Championship bowl game, rolling past big rival Oklahoma Sooners in a decisive 45-35 victory....and then this happened... take a look at this video (brings back a hoard of sick of emotions!).

I had the opportunity to preach Jesus the next morning at our church, and I could have been awake in anticipation of preaching, you know, praying for the Spirit to move. But instead, I was laying in bed at 1am fuming...over a ball game.

In all reality college football is an idol of mine. I invest time, money, energy, and emotions on all that surrounds and is involved in the game. My favorite preacher has said (and in some fashion says every time he preachers) that the simplest and most practical way to define how a Christian should live is to find those things in life that stir our affections for Jesus and pursue those hard with all abandon...and to identify those things that steal our affections from Jesus and name them for what they are...IDOLS...and to flee them...and kill them. He confesses that he stays away from sports because he knows he can get way too invested in whether or not a 20 year old boy catches a ball.

Sting.

Since I'm on this honest streak, I think my emotions won't be as strong this season in regards to the Longhorns record only because I'm expecting this to be a rebuilding season with Garret Gilbert being the new quarterback. I keep telling people I'd be happy with a 10-2 or 9-3 season. In reality I've yet to repent of this idol. It may not sound like a big deal, but I see the worship I bid, breathe, and bleed during college football season...I can laugh at it as silly or see it as evil.

Jesus says if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out...those are some hard words...that if taken in light of the Cross, produce soft people. James, the half bro of Jesus, tells us that every good and perfect gift is from above...all created things are designed to be used and enjoyed to divert our attention to the Giver...I could cut all emotional ties I have with college football, or I could worship Jesus for it. I don't think I'm abusing this theology just so I can enjoy college football guilt free. This is a principle applicable to all of our hobbies (that are likely our idols).

It is a thin red line if you are simply trying to not worship an idol...you will return with sacrifices before you can blink an eye. The trick or rather, the Truth, is to worship Jesus...to be ever thankful and moment to moment aware that "for our sake He became sin, who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." Jesus entered skin, lost his skin, and rose back to life in a new skin...and I can watch a pigskin fly through the air and be even more enamored knowing that he saved my skin...He loves me deeply.

Look at the Light Beyond the Thing

2010-08-28T12:48:00.001-04:00

Everything we experience through our senses, thoughts, and feelings is designed to point to a Greater Thing...a Greater Person. Food and wine, dance and danger, slumber and adrenaline, melody and silence, visions and confusion, comfort and pain, laughter and tears, poetry and prose, simplicity and technology, cultivation and consumption, and on and on...when we experience these things and end simply on them we are elevating creation over Creator. Jesus has given us life and ALL it's experiences to invite us into His unending mystery, beauty, and Grace. One of my favorite things in all of the whole world that captures this reality is my wife's photography. I'm learning through watching her that photography is not about the camera or the editing software which so many fad-chasing people suppose, but it's about the perspective of the shooter. Her photography which is expanding and improving with every shot intensifies all the elements of an experience and extracts the emotive light, shadows, colors, wrinkles, micro-expressions, bokeh...her photography makes the memory of something sometimes better than the experience! Her unique eye and passion points me to worship Jesus. I invite you to enjoy her work and enjoy Jesus who has given this to her. Check out her Flickr page and her Facebook / Facebook (you'll probably have to log in to your FB account and be friends with her to view her pics in FB).

This could be as big as "Pants on the Gound"!!

2010-08-26T23:42:00.003-04:00

You know those tunes that just get stuck in your head on repeat?

Put A Bullet In It

2010-08-10T09:06:00.019-04:00

People are agents of time. We are are slaves to seconds and unable to emancipate ourselves. The vision for my blog is to steal the rush from the hands of time and linger just a little longer than normal on a concept or experience and unpack it. It occurred to me that one of the fastest ways to slow the velocity of something is to shoot it...to put a bullet right in the heart of it...It has also occurred to me that the 3 pound hunk of meat in between my ears processes information kinda like this...in the form of snippets and bulleted ideas. Below is some happenings, instances, realities in my life that I've shot in their path to obscurity:

Within the past month or so I was diagnosed with moderate ADHD...my lovely wife posted a very affirming blog post explaining it. I am thankful there is an explanation for the sound of madness in my life...the lack of follow-through, my habit of interrupting and the constant need for mental stimulation...I started a round of Adderall but stopped taking it just after 5 days because the side effects sucked. Depression...blah...and mad, mad sleep walking...one night I literally ran outside of my house in just my boxers ready to kick some butt...but then I woke up. Adderall is very controlled...apparently college students love the jittery buzz and hyped up alertness it gives...but it left me feeling drained...I can't try another medicine until mid August.
I've been sleep walking since the 4th grade...I've tried figuring out a pattern...I think it might have something to do with stress or fatigue...it's so unbelievably frustrating for my wife and myself...I get embarrassed and then I get mad. Adderall just hyped up the normal nocturnal activity.
Last night I was giving Merrick a bath and a wasp swan dove into the water. I'm not sure where he even came from, but my reflex was to punch it. Even under the water, it stung me right on my knuckle...by the time I went to bed my hand looked like I was turning from Buddy Love back to Professor Klump.
When I was on the treadmill yesterday I saw a clip on ESPN that Tim Tebow done got his hair did...like a monk! I was relieved that it was the effects of rookie hazing rather than a statement of his faith.
On the subject of the pigskin, I am super, super, super pumped for the return of college football season...hoping the Hokies mutilate the Broncos and snuff the hype about Boise on the opening game of the season. Also anticipating Garret Gilbert getting in the saddle and leading the Horns to another National Championship...I love the smack talk and the drama EVERY week of the BCS (though I really would like a playoff situation)
On Sunday we are headed down to Rodanthe, NC to spend a week getting roasted on the beach. This is an annual trip we take with my wife's family...her...entire...family. They typically rent out two gigantic beach houses and stuff them with 40+ people of four generations plus friends...an adventure with two kiddos of our own, and it's virtually free for us!
We (mostly my lovely wife) are potty training my son Merrick...He has got the peeing thing down like a pro...the other day in "Mall-Mart" as he calls Wal-Mart he went to potty 3 times...5 minutes after the second time he went he started crossing his legs and grabbing at himself and jigging so I took him back. I stood him up on the end of the toilet seat and asked if he was sure he needed to go again...he yelled, "I'm peenin! I'm peenin!" so as I pulled down his pants and he started peeing like a pressure washer...so since he was peeing all over the back of the toilet I put my hand on his chest and flipped him up so he was peeing down into the toilet...I still laugh every time I think of this!
Hulu.com is pretty uber cool (I heard a kid say this the other day and felt old because I don't know today's slang...wonder if I used it right?), except I've caught up on all my favorite shows (Fringe, Lie to Me, House, Bones, Modern Family, Castle) and summer TV stinks, with the exception of Wipe Out...I can't wait for the fall season of TV.
I have 2 tattoos and am itching for another...or 3...I've been designing them so maybe I'll do a post soon called "Behind the Tat".

These happenings, instances, realities are forever sealed on the world wide web...hyperbole I know, but at least I was able to share them with you.

Think of All The Things You Can Throw a Rock At?

2010-07-22T23:38:00.001-04:00

He who forgives much does so because he has been forgiven of much.

Jesus: the Ace of all Aces

2010-07-19T09:24:00.028-04:00

So around the airport that I work at, there is a strange breed of man. For those who hang around whether to work or fly, aviation is no small obsession. The people live, breath, sleep, and eat all things aviation. They put stickers on their cars that say, "I love the smell of Jet A in the morning." I say, "that's because it's not on your hands and soaked into your shoes." Because I am not as emotionally invested in aviation as the rest, the extent of my aviation knowledge is pretty limited. Nevertheless, I learn something new pretty much every day I work. In the past two week a bird has flown in that strikes the most peculiar of responses from grown men. They almost pee themselves in excitement and crowds flock to examine it. The plane is called a P51 Mustang. I think I'm rather privileged to have seen and fueled two in a mere two weeks, because there are guys who have been hanging around for years who have never seen one in person. As the one pictured below flew over midfield yesterday morning, the director of maintenance literally bounced up and down and said "ooh oh, please land here!" *note the peculiar behavior." This plane is the Eleanor (Gone in 60 Seconds) of aircraft. They are not quite as rare as Eleanor but are just as admired and coveted. This particular Mustang was assembled in 1947 and is priced at approximately 2 million. You could get a private Beech Jet for less. There are so few remaining (a few hundred) because the pilots who can afford one simply don't have time to get the experience they need to handle it. Unfortunately, they end up killing themselves with it.

So, as I fueled the plane I noticed something that struck me. The eight Nazi decals posted on the side of the fuselage. (pictured below) I thought this was an American bird? Then someone told me that the stickers represented confirmed Nazi kills. Five kills designated a fighter pilot as an "Ace", so the cat that took care of some Nazis was a bad mama jama. The current pilot explained that the kills didn't belong to this particular airframe but that the paint scheme is modeled after a plane that did indeed shoot down eight Nazi aircraft.

A habit that Jesus is drawing me into, is to be able to recognize the Gospel in all of my life circumstances. So the Spirit prompted me to ponder on these eight decals, these eight little symbols that hold so much rhetorical meaning...these kills which are historical victories over an evil force. My initial thought was how could a believer swag out to show his victories over evils in his life? We could rock a chain with medallions: The "better" we live the bigger the medallions. Hopefully you see how ridiculous this notion is. This is merely the idolatry of morality. This goes to show you the extent of my depravity. *There is no telling where an ADHD tangent will end up.* This reminds me of James and John bickering over where their cheeks will land in Heaven. Everything has a thread of, or inklings of, or the potential for...redemption. All of history renders this truth. It's what theologians call Redemptive History; the drama of God redeeming men and women from death and sin. All angles of history fall under this history including WWII history and thus have remnants of redemption. So all of these instances when the oppressed are freed and the raped are cherished and the forgotten are restored are marks of victory...kills, if you will. They all point to and find their source in a greater Redemption: Calvary. God seems to humor himself in paradoxes. For believers, our victories are when...ready for this?...we lose ourselves and can only credit life (marked in joy and suffering) to the maker of it, Jesus. Jesus is the Ace of all Aces, forever glorying in this: "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor 5:21). As believers, Jesus is the victory, and the Bible teaches that the Spirit is our seal of the kill. *If you like the idea of the Nazi decals on the Mustang, and you are a little edgy, go for a tattoo!* And in all seriousness, when you are stuntin' on life, Jesus is the victory, and when you are suffocating in pain and numbness, Jesus is the victory.

How Could You Say No To This Face?

2010-06-28T07:44:00.014-04:00

Growing up I always had pets. Some of my earliest photos are of me laying around with our family Collie. Then we raised Dachshunds for a while of which one was my very own who was named Tinkerbell, and I called her Tink. (Apparently Tinkerbell is the floozy of Disney Princess types.)

Then I got an orange cat named Jinx who was declawed but would still attack dogs, raccoons, opossums, and whatever else tried to stare him down. He was a beast, and I loved him. As a teenager I got a German Shepherd. I also had an African Pygmy Hedgehog...oh and a hand full of gold fish that I managed to kill within days, actually on more than one occasion. My wife and I have an estranged cat right now...Sounds funny but he is currently residing at my in-laws home...we have a love/hate relationship...I could go on for an entire post about this cat...he is the most attention hungry animal I've ever seen with such idiosyncrasies such as his midnight demonic possessions and his determination to chew and swallow random items (milk jug rings, ponytail bands, balloon strings, money, etc.) and then vomit them up. (These are elements of our hate relationship).

From all my pet experiences, I've learned that I really do love most all animals...they are cute and entertaining and fun. Conversely, I've also noticed that they seem to be an outlet for my compulsive nature. I am intrigued at the idea of a animal friend but quickly become bored and annoyed with the responsibility of cleaning up after them. And they make things smelly and dirty. My newest obsession is with the Fennec Fox, native of the Sahara Desert. They are one of the only species of fox that can be legally domesticated. I think these things are stupid cute and I want one. Fortunately, God's providence helps me in my weakness as these cute little critters are exotic and thus carry and exotic price tag to the tune of $1000+ bones.

Boom Lay, Boom Lay, Boom!

2010-06-23T08:03:00.006-04:00

I know I'm biased but you can't deny that Shinedown produces top-notch music with every track. This song is the soundtrack for the upcoming film, The Expendables which I want to see because you won't find another film with that many and that caliber of meat head actors. Feedback, whatcha think of the song and the movie trailer?

In Him, part 1

2010-06-10T18:44:00.014-04:00

I have become an avid blog reader in the past six months. You can see my daily run through on the right of my blog...my wife has set up Google Reader for me which is supposedly more efficient for the blog reader...and I don't use it...so I guess I'm just antiquated. So moving on, I read a statement on a blog by one of my favorite preachers that said: "I am a fan of Christ in "so and so." Now that is a perspective change that I desire. Romans 1:25 reads, "they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator." My tendency is to obsess over ("worship") people, concepts, experiences, food, feelings, cravings, toys, and on and on...as if I could ever be satisfied in any of those things. The Bible calls this idolatry. So let's chat about creation. Creation is everything but the Trinity (Father, Son, and Spirit). To clarify even further, whatever you think or feel, see or hear, taste or smell, and touch, that is creation. Creation does not exist to end in itself but to point us to Jesus. ALL of creation points to Jesus. I want to be a fan of Christ in the creation that I enjoy...a fan of Christ in my bride...a fan of Christ in my Wild Man and Princess Poo...a fan of Christ in Chipotle...a fan of Christ in new friendships...a fan of Christ in my favorite preachers...a fan of Christ in watching Longhorns football...I also want to be a fan of Christ in the creation that presses me, that hurts me...a fan of Christ in tight bills...a fan of Christ in my perpetually defiant children...a fan of Christ in the lactic acid when I workout...a fan of Christ in feeling lonely or embarrassed. One of the Apostle Paul's favorite phrases in his epistles is "In Him." In the next few blogs I'm going to explore some implications of what it means to be in Him. The first thing is that ALL of creation finds it's significance in Him.

"Happy To You"

2010-06-02T22:31:00.011-04:00

Today is a special, special day. It is my best friend and lover's birthday...

...the day God gave me the most tangible displays of His Grace in my life.

This young lady is the most naturally witty, humorous, intelligent, discerning, and sexy person I know. I'd be lost without her.

Thanks for stickin' with me, Shooter...for loving me...for pressing into me...and showing me that Jesus is my strength and portion forever. I love you. I hope the celebration of your life today brings you so much joy!

First on the Scene

2010-06-01T22:27:00.007-04:00

I am a lineman at the Hanover County Airport. I fuel planes, moves planes, wax planes, and pretty much everything but fly planes. This afternoon I was standing on the ramp with my supervisor and looked as I watched a coworker's RV 9 glide by. (I said glide because he was not technically flying...his prop was not spinning...the engine was off.) I said to my supervisor, "Keith, what is Ray doing?" Keith said, "He's not practicing...get the truck!" In the next 30-60 seconds I was a half mile down the runway sprinting as fast as I could through a field approaching the upside down plane. My mind was racing with the possibility that Ray hadn't made it. Fortunately, the plane had not yet engulfed in flames (and never did) and Ray answered our calling and told us he was OK. Keith and I shouldered the tail and lifted it enough for Ray to squeeze out of the shattered canopy of the plane. I know Ray simply as an acquaintance, nothing of his personal life, but what a relief to see him walk away with minor cuts from the wreckage. Literally seconds after he was out of the plane the drama ensued with local law enforcement, media, and rubber-neckers. People were attracted to this situation like flies on crap and it was kinda of annoying. I know that if it wasn't me it would have been someone else, but I am glad that I was able to be one of the first there to help Ray. I guess it's all in a day's work at a small local airport.

19,510 Days Left

2010-05-25T21:01:00.008-04:00

According to the CIA Factbook, on February 21, 1986 I had roughly 28,542 more days to live. Today, that leaves me with roughly 19,510 days. I recently heard a question posed like this: "Are you simply finding ways to pass the time or are you doing things to spend the time?" Even more cool, Paul writes in Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Do you know what Paul was doing when he wrote the letter to the Ephesians? He was probably salivating over rats that were nibbling on his toes...and wondering how pretty the big guy in the corner really thought he was...doing some sort of ancient Pilates to prevent atrophy...all as he sat...in...a...Roman...prison. What else can you do in a prison but pass the time? But Paul recognized that once in Jesus everything He did was intended as good works...and so He also penned the inspired Word of God. I am at a point in my life right now kinda of waiting for the real where and what God has for me. Now though I realize that even mundane wax-on-wax off type of activities and driving the same 800 miles a week and eating at the same meals at the same table at the same restaurants every week are all intended before the world was even spoken into existence as good works in Jesus. Laugh hard, and cry hard. And know its all from the love and mercy of Jesus. Steal the rush from the hands of time. So, Are you simply finding ways to pass the time or are you doing things to spend the time?