Step Away Chubby

De-Caffienating Missy

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 22 May 2012 04:02:00 +0000

I am F.A.T. Not just that oh-my-she-has-gained-a-few-pounds kind of fat but rather that oh-my-gosh-look-at-her-she-looks-bad kind of fat. [Self esteem not included.] I didn't go to my 20th high school reunion because I didn't want people to see me. [High school was hard enough without having to live up to the hype 20 years later.] Self confidence seems to be hard to find these days [honestly and truthfully, very hard to find] and I need it back. I need to feel good about myself.

One of my biggest fears [besides elevators full of people and roaches] is that people will see me with Molly and think, "Well we know she's (pointing to Molly) gonna grow up and look like her (pointing to me)." Molly is so athletic and healthy and I certainly pray that she stays that way forever. She is gorgeous and naturally pretty [glad I'm not a bit biased] and she takes care of herself. I need to follow her example. I need to be healthy. I need to do that for her. I need to do that for me.

I decided today, the 21st of May, was as good a day as any to start. My first order of business is to cut the cord with diet Sundrop [I know. I am thinking the same thing: What in the world will the employees of Sundrop do now that I'm going to be actually drinking water? It's going to be bad but necessary.] I mean really, there are no merits to drinking the stuff. None. Not one. I just like it but I don't need it. That's it. End of discussion.

So today is day one. [I did take four Advil for that massive caffeine headache around 7pm but other than that the world did not implode.] And soon, it will be day two and it will start over again. It's funny too because as the day went on, I didn't really want one...it was just habit to get one first thing in the morning.

As for the rest of my quest to get healthy, I begin walking tomorrow. I have a walking partner and a great place to walk. My plan is to work my way back up to running. I was in the best shape of my life about 4 years ago, when I was running 10 -15 miles a week. [I know some of you are eye rolling at my mere 10 - 15 miles a week but considering the crazy life I lead with this litter of kids, my favorite coach and all his sports, working, being super house wife, and all the little things in between it worked for me.] I've done two triathlons, walked that huge bridge, and I've run in a number of smaller 5Ks....I can do this.

Enough about me [as if that is possible:)] though. The Shorties are super busy trying to end yet another school year. I am looking at having a junior in high school - we are already talking about college! And I've got one starting school this year....what was I thinking?!!! Gabe sure is excited to see his long and infamous nursery career come to an end. [And I will admit that Short and I have done, more than once, the We-Just-Wrote-The-Last-Check-For-Nursery-After-Paying-For-THIRTEEN-Years Dance.] Cooper is glad to be out of school so that he can spend more time mastering disk golf. Emma is glad that she can sleep a little later - every princess needs her beauty sleep :) And yes, Short and I are ready for a break. [Of course, then they will all be home together...and they will fight....and eat a lot of junk...come quickly August.] We are super excited about our DC trip [ and Gabe will finally get to see the Abraham Lincolnton Memorial up close] and we have lots of other things planned. Yeah summer!!!

As always, life as a Short [caffiene free and all] is really awesome!

Simple Request

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Thu, 17 May 2012 12:25:00 +0000

I have a friend who needs your prayers. Please take a moment, right now, wherever you are, to stop and pray for him.

Thanks a bazillion!

Missy :)

The Royals (Say it With a British Accent)

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 15 May 2012 23:44:00 +0000

Raise your hand if you care about Kate Middleton [she is married and it is time for her to stop the women's lib thing and take the last name of her husband] and William Duke of Cambridge [so why are we calling him Prince if he is a Duke? Is that like Duke's mayonnaise or like Duke in Durham? Did you know his last name is Louis? Me neither - had to Google it] and if you truly care about the last time she farted, what kind of underwear is covering his fanny, and if the spot of tea was excellent? [Somebody out there is A. Actually raising your hand B. Offended that I used the word "fart", and C. Offended that I am discussing the royal couple in my redneck blog.] Are you truly aware of how much that wedding cost? $35 million dollars. That is a 3 and a 5 with six zeroes....$35,000,000!! I know I'm like a year late on this one but I am just now jumping on the royals bandwagon [or rather jumping up and down and rocking it].

I love the Today Show. [No, I'm not one of those OMG-Matt-Lauer-is-so-hot-women. And thank goodness I am at work when drunkards 1 and 2 (aka Kathie Lee and Hoda) come on.] EVERY morning, when I am trying to get ready watch the news of the day I have to hear Michele Konsinski telling us yet ANOTHER mindnumbing but "breaking" news story about Kate or William or the Queen [isn't she like 490 years old or something?] I am going to throw something at that $90 TV in my bedroom. I don't care that some other "princess" is wearing a dress like Kate's - does she have a patent on it? What if I want to wear a dress like Kate in my wedding? [Well, A. I'm already married and B. It is an UGLY dress. It is MY blog and these are MY opinions.] Anyone who can spend $700 on a pair of shoes should wear them twice in one week.....for that money you should have your eyeballs impaled with the heels of them suckers so they never leave your sight! Really?

And yet some Americans cannot get enough. I honestly do not understand this line of thinking. Maybe it's wanting to live vicariously through someone else. [I am thinking I would choose Josh Hamilton's wife but definitely not Kate.] How can you take someone seriously when they spent $800,000 on wedding flowers? I guess I'm just not even a higher class of redneck because I would watch Swamp People and Ax Men over any dumb royal wedding. I don't even want to watch the Olympics because I know what a big deal will be made over Kate and William being there. [And of course we'll have to see the Queen with her same polyester suit dress and some sort of tiny hat....I swear she is 1000 years old.] We'll probably have to see Charles and Camilla too. [Hopefully both of them will wear paper bags over their heads for our sake.] BLAH!!!

[I am sure I'll catch some heat over this one but that's OK.] To each their own I suppose. I just can't bring myself to get into the royal clan [maybe they aren't redneck enough for me or something] and I could care less what they wear or where they go. I feel the same way about Brad and Angelina - he is dirty and she is emaciated. They need to meet at a bar: a bar of soap and a bar of chocolate!!! I could care less about what they do or don't do, if they are married or not, and if they save the entire continent of Africa [or where ever they keep getting all these kids from]. I don't want to keep up with the Kardashians and I don't want to know how hard the lives of all those rich housewives are [major eye rolling on that one] in Atlanta and New Jersey.

I am done with my ranting and raving [said with a British acccent].

Find Your Ninevah

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 08 May 2012 04:24:00 +0000

WOW! [I really just wanted to get your attention....there isn't anything terribly exciting that deserves an interjection. It worked - you are reading.] What a crazy few weeks its been here at Casa de la Shortie. Between softball and dance and softball and laundry and softball and tball and softball and dishes and softball and softball we haven't really had time to do anything else. Did I mention there's been a lot of softball? Weather and other circumstances shifted the schedule around and these last three weeks we've been super busy. Last regular season game tomorrow and playoffs start on Friday. I love seeing my favorite shortstop doing her thing while my favorite coach stands at third base. My favorite 13 year old runs the music and the smallest Shorties work the crowd. It really is a family affair :)

2 Short up to bat! She has the coolest walk up song ever....Dr. Feelgood!!

Of course I cannot forget to include the "other" ball player in the Short house....Gabe. When he's not playing in the dirt or spinning on the base he is conversing with EVERYONE around him. [The boy is just like his daddy...never met a conversation he didn't like.] His games, though not quite as exciting and nail biting as Molly's are pretty funny. We are discovering that Gabe really thinks baseball is super cool.

Atta boy!!! Look at that bat speed....he's got skills!

Cooper and Emma have been equally as busy. Cooper is not playing a sport at the moment but he finds lots of things to do [one of his favorite things to do is give me a hard time and he's really good at that]. He's really enjoying playing disc golf, most every afternoon, with several friends from school. And [note the lack of sarcasm and only pure enjoyment on my part] he plays his drums EVERY day. He is actually very good and has taught himself. I am so glad they are not loud [sarcasm duly noted] and that the neighbors have not yet called the cops on us [notice I said yet]. He loves them so we can deal with it [most days anyway . Tonight he was inducted into the Beta Club at school and ~~willingly~~ under duress dressed in his "business casual" [and yes, I had to clarify exactly what that meant today...call me redneck and unsophisticated....I don't care] to mark the occasion. He is just so darn cute:)

Love that boy to pieces:) He is sitting with Awesome - his BFF!!

And then there is the DIVA. [Trust me, she is the one Short kid that loves the spotlight and will not be left out of anything!] She is my hip baby [you know, that one kid that ALWAYS wants mom's attention?] and definitely the most headstrong [glad I'm not like that] of all four of the Shorties. Her thing is dancing and dressing up and jewelry and makeup and girly girl stuff. [In case you haven't noticed I am sort of the plain Jane type and Molly's the athlete....Emma teaches us how to dress!!] She had her dance recital [aka "Oh My Gosh is This Thing Ever Going to End" show] this past Sunday.

That's Flossie there on the left....Walking the Dinosaur:) Love her!

I really, really, REALLY want to attend the SheSpeaks Women's Conference in July. So much so that I have sent letters to family and friends, asking them to sponsor me. I love this blogging thing. I love Bible study. I want to put the two together. I would love to do what Beth Moore or Priscilla Shirer do for women. [There is alot of "I" in all of that....]. With God's urging, your prayers, a little bit of money, and a huge leap of faith this might just happen. If I am able to attend the conference I am hoping to learn more about using my abilities [not sure if sarcasm and colorfully bracketed thoughts are gifts....] to reach women who are sisters, moms, daughters, friends, wives, and passionate about God's calling for their lives. Please pray with me and I know that God will help provide a way if this is what he wants me to do with my life.

On that note, I also ask that you continue to pray for me and the request from last's post. I am struggling right now. I don't want to be upset. In fact, our Sunday school theme for this month is forgiveness - could God be speaking to me any louder? I am not angry and I almost kind of understand the "why". What I don't understand is how to forget. I need your prayers to just get over this and move on.

I am part of a phenomenal study of Jonah and this is what I've learned so far: Jonah had one simple task from God [yes, God usually ask the very simple things of us and yet we still find His requests difficult] - Chapter 1, verse 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me." We know that Jonah did what many of us do [pointing finger at self] - he ran. Only, instead of getting swallowed by a large fish [the Bible never says whale], we get swallowed by greed or despair or pride. God says, "Yes. You." and we say, "Ummm...yeah God....we need to talk. You see, I've got plans" or "I can't do that God. Why would you ask that of me?" Then we jump on our boats and attempt to sail away...only to find that the water isn't what we'd hoped it would be...then we fall overboard. I have asked myself, a lot today, [I like to talk to me because I typically agree with myself, am refreshed at my own ideas, and have no need to worry about what I might think about me] about my Ninevah. Where is God asking me to go? Sometimes, I believe, God's requests couldn't be any louder and we just block it out. Sometimes [this would be more my case] we are too busy to listen. Sometimes we hear it but we just don't listen ...much like Jonah. I've tried those fish [and I am not a seafood lover] of despair and anger and greed and discontent and selfishness and pity - not one of them was worth falling overboard. I want to listen. I want to find my Ninevah.

I will conclude my post with something from my Cooper. Out of respect for him I will not divulge personal information other than to say the mountaintop is wonderful and well worth the valley it takes to get there:)

I don't even know what happened today... CRAZY day... But God's here right? Of course. Has been forever. But i've been too blind to see... i realized.... with God... no worries. Ain't worried bout' a thing:) Best Dad ever if you ask.. right next to Craig Short. Stuff has happened lately that now is out. I'll use to prove that I'Mthe proof of a liv...ing testimony. I'll pull a Josh Hamilton. Because with Jesus around.. I am Second.

WOW! [Yes, it is that exciting my friends!]

Fantastic FieldTrips

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Thu, 03 May 2012 02:14:00 +0000

I know you’re broken, you’re busted wide open

You’ve fallen to pieces and you feel there’s nothing left you can hope in.
But I’ll hold you together, we’ll stand the weather.
Cause I paid the price for you and I won’t let you go, no never ~ Finding Favour
I will start off with a prayer request for myself. Without going into too many details, just know that my heart is sad. My family is perfect, my life is great, but I just cannot get over how some people are super insensitive. I think, right now, I am overly sensitive to remarks because of things that have happened. Searching for grace and mercy from people that really don't understand a thing.

I just returned from a fabulous [no sarcasm] field trip with the 8th graders to Wilmington. I love this field trip for several reasons:
1. We get to miss school. [Oh my! And to think I'm a teacher....]2. No stress involved. [There is stress but not what you might think...mostly dealing with non-issues and some 8th grade drama....incidentally its all in a day's work.]3. The students get to see the teachers having fun [because we all know that its only business at school...ummm sometimes....].
4. There is lots of laughing [the kids laugh at us, we laugh at them, they laugh at each other...it's fantastic.]
Those crazy 8th graders even got in the ocean - and it was FREEZING! They had such a great time :) I love doing field trips like this because the students get to see us in a different light and outside of EOGs and quizzes and middle school stuff. Love my job :)

As always, while extremely busy these days, life a Short could not be better!

And I Quote

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 03:55:00 +0000

I am a people watcher [weird I know but that's me] and I love to listen to random bits of conversation [I know...that is even more weird and creepy. I'm not a stalker...]. I wouldn't call it evesdropping as much as I just happen upon someone talking and I pay attention as I walk past them in Wal-Mart [great place to people watch], the grocery store, the ball field, etc. It's funny what we think when we hear random bits of information, out of context sometimes, and not meant for us to hear.
Overheard in the hall at school before break:
Boy 1 [talking to another boy]: Get your hand out of my pants Johnny! [As always, names are changed to protect the innocent...or extremely embarassed.]
Boy 2 [dumfounded that about 30 people just thought he had his hand down another boy's pants]: I hate you.

Overheard at the ballfield:
Person #1 talking to KM fan #1: She had to go to the hospital because her foot touched a leaf.
Person #2 [which happens to be me] ask KM Fan #2: What kind of leaf sends you to the hospital?
[And what actually happened is she had to go to the hospital because she had an allergic reaction to Aleve....which makes way more sense...]

Witnessed at a Shoney's [yes fine dining was always on our radar when on vacation] in Daytona Beach a million moons ago:
Waitress: Do you want soup or salad?
My sister: Well if the salad is that good I'll have that! [She thought the waitress asked if she wanted a SUPER salad.]

Overheard at a table next to us at an IHOP [not sure if that is a step up or back from Shoney's] on the way back from a weekend football game at UT:
Man: You know, when I was stationed in California we used to eat at a place like this but it was called something else.
Woman: I remember. It wasn't called IHOP. It was called the International House of Pancakes.
[Now Craig and I have just had to turn our heads because they were serious.]
Man: Yes you are right. But they look just like this place.
Woman: I know!

Said in my own house one time:
Me to Craig: Put this back in the refrigerator.
Craig to Me: Did you tell me this was a turd burglar?
[Seriously Craig? Why would I use the word "turd" when pointing to the fridge?]

So your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to really pay attention the next time you are around lots of people - Wal-Mart [you will NOT be disappointed], the flea market [bahahahahahahaha!!!], the hallways of any middle school in America, your local grocery store, or just anywhere there are lots of people. It's fun and you just never know what you might hear....

You Have No Idea

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 05:06:00 +0000

I read, somewhere, this week the following quote:

Be nice to everyone you meet - you never know what they are going through.

When someone tells me to not get involved in teenage drama [which is very true] then maybe they should have been walking in my shoes about 10 days ago...when my world was rocked. Allow me to explain [which I will do whether or not you say yes 'cause its my blog and I can] where I'm going with this...

I agree - teenage drama should not be for parent involvement. Let them grow up and defend themselves. I live with them. I teach them. I am involved with the youth at church. I am well aware that kids [mine included] have to grow up to learning how to deal with conflicts, heartbreak, and disappointments. I try my best not to always put my 2 cents in when they have issues [it ain't easy] and I try to be the sounding board when they want to vent or just talk. I think that is my job. No, I am not the perfect mom [sorry to those or you ready with my trophy] and I am very protective [maybe slightly over-protective...if slightly means alot]. My kids aren't perfect either and sometimes I wonder if their brains are actually functioning. [Have you met Gabe and Emma? Just kidding. No, seriously.] I really get all of that - I understand. My parents didn't walk me down the primrose path, holding my hand and I am a better person because they allowed me to make and then learn from my mistakes.

However, don't mess with my kids. [It means exactly what it says.] That isn't getting into drama but protecting my kids from things that may turn into monumental, life-altering, no do-over kinds of decisions. [Disclaimer: The following is a rant I've saved for a perfect time - now is that time. Twitter and Facebook can be and are both used in the most vile ways by many teens and young adults (even some old adults). If you are a parent of a kid old enough to use these then get off your "Little Johnny Needs His Space" of "I Don't Know How to Use That Facebook/Twitter Stuff" rearend and wake up!! Now I do not mean to go all "Tipper Gore" on you but if you aren't smart enough to check behind your kids then you need a good swift kick in the butt. Pay attention to your kids and the crap others are posting for your kids to see - it can be BAD....very BAD. In my opinion (which counts for zip these days) you are CRAZY if you don't check behind them to see what they are posting and see what they are reading. I told you I'd been saving up. Call me crazy (won't be the first time) but I refuse to lose my children to hashtags, status updates, and tagged pictures that are not acceptable.] Ten days ago I may not have been so "defensive" or may have reacted differently but now I realize mean people that say things to the sometimes irrational and emotional young person can have serious implications. Some people have no idea. Some people have no clue. Some people can't even begin to understand.

Again, thanks be to God for interevening in a number of ways. First, for diffusing the issue and making sure all involved used good judgement, talked it out, and mended fences. Sometimes hurt feelings and speculation spark issues that are not really issues. Secondly [and most important...for me anyway], thanks to God for pointing me back to the book of James. I needed to read it. I will probably read it again - like tomorrrow morning. Grace and mercy.

Mrs. Darth Vader

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 15:51:00 +0000

For years [let me reiterate - years] I have picked on Craig's "mask". He calls it the mask that gives him life. I've called it Darth Vader's mask since he's had it. [And many nights he will roll over and the vent will blow air in my face. How would you like a puff of air meeting your face at 3am?] I've made fun of him for putting it on when it is time for bed then trying to talk to me. It sounds like someone is clamping his nose when he's talking.

Today....I get my own sleep machine. I will have my very own Darth Vader mask. [That's Mrs. Darth Vader to you.] Mine is a little different than Craig's - it has a pink strap and fits under my nose instead of over my face. I am severely claustrophobic. I don't like the dark, elevators, or tiny spaces. While visiting the USS Yorktown in Charleston I tried to go through the submarine that is on sight - not a good idea. As soon as I descended the steps I felt my lungs begin to collapse [not really but it sounds better than I was about to pee on myself] and knocked a very large man out of the way to get back up the steps. I have had panic attacks in these kinds of spaces and its slightly embarassing. So, I told the good sleep doctor that the mask was OUT. We compromised on this nice little under the nose deal. Not going to lie, though, the night I had to stay at the clinic and wear it I found myself almost hyperventilating [and I immediately regretted making fun of Craig all those years].

Poor Gabe....at 3am when he comes to our room he usually comes to my side of the bed because the mask scares him....I guess he'll be waking up Molly or Cooper. [I should have thought of this years ago...]

I have to recant something I said in my last post about Grandma Hoyt's. Turns out, they do sell some healthy stuff....apparently the Ranch dressing is made of yogurt and they do serve fruits and vegetables that are not deep fried. But really? Who is waking up and saying, "Hey, I'd love a salad from Grandma Hoyt's today!" That's right - no one. We are going there to eat the good stuff :)

As always, life as a Short [aka the Vaders] is awesome!!

I-85/321 Adventures

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 22:22:00 +0000

Our children have been asking us to take them to the flea market [or trade lot as Short calls it]. We have yet to figure out why they wanted to go.....and still we obliged and took them. Our morning began in Bessemer City [it cannot get any better now can it?] at a quaint little eatery called Grandma Hoyt's. And for those you wondering, there is not a light menu, fruit, or milk [unless it's in the gravy]. This is grade A, first class, stop-your-heart-in-mid-beat, fried food. I am fairly certain that Coop ate about 5 plates - he was definitely in heaven.

We rolled ourselves out the door and headed to Dallas. [And just think? We didn't even plan a vacation for spring break.] We wanted the kids to have the full G-town flea market experience so we parked in the back and started with building K - the furniture building. My first big find of the day? Camouflage living room furniture. [I wept inside considering I just bought furniture....]

We made our way through the various buildings to find goats, chickens, roosters [and Gabe really wanted one], rabbits, "name-brand" handbags, many tables of unmentionables [and might I mention it was slightly creepy], computers, jewelry, and socks....and all of this was at ONE TABLE. [Not really but it might as well have been at one table.] We found tools, soap, clothes, shrimp [in large, unmarked coolers, on ice...I'm guessing from the "local" ocean or shrimp farm], ceramic "stuff", "brand-name" shoes, lingerie [NOT KIDDING], and dishes. We also came across an enormous display of knives, machetes, shields [didn't realize anyone needed shields anymore], throwing stars, brass knuckles, and bongs made from various items.

There were even stands to buy nachos, burgers, and other flea market food. We saw several people partaking of gigantic hamburgers or nachos with jalapenos. Now that would have been fantastic except for one thing - it was only 9am! Now I like a good, greasy hamburger but I draw the line at buying a flea market special before noon [well, really anytime....]. Needless to say, it was way more than gross.

All in all, it was an adventure. We didn't leave without buying something. [No, we didn't come home with bras, bongs, or "brand-name" stuff.] We ordered a handcrafted porch swing and two rockers for our front porch. Not a bad morning with the family :)

I would like to say thanks for those of you that have prayed for us and continue to pray. We are doing great and feel your prayers.

The Shorties showing off their Easter duds!
Each of them ended up with some kind of blue and it wasn't planned!

On My Knees and Thankful

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 04:01:00 +0000

Tonight's post will be emotional [for me anyway] and one that I never intended to pen. I am not going to share all the details because there is a level of privacy for everyone involved. The Shorties are OK - I can promise you that with 100% certainty.

I figured out yesterday that the saying, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice" is absolutely true. Being knocked to your knees and not knowing how to stand again on firm ground can force you to re-evaluate everything.

I am a strong believer in God's divine interventions in our lives....the people and ideas that He puts in our paths to help us along life's way. While on my knees, looking for the will to make my lungs inflate and breathe, I knew that the actions that brought me to that point were not coincidental...they were in fact miraculous....and only something that God could have done for me and for my family.

He picked us up, He wiped our tears, and He reminded us that He is in control. He kept us safe and saved us from ourselves. He never left the side of the one that needed him the most....the one that thought all was hopeless. He intervened....He comforted...He whispered in my ear, at the lowest point in my life, that He would always be there. He is my King.

We covet your prayers. We want you to know that prayers are being felt. As mom of the Shortie clan I also ask that you respect our privacy and know that while we appreciate your concern it is a family matter. If you ask us please don't get offended if we don't share it but just simply say, "Thanks for asking."

As always, life as a Shortie, is really awesome :)

Secure With His Manhood and Other Race Day Tales

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 00:26:00 +0000

For the third year in a row I walked in the Cooper River Bridge Run...with 43,999 other people. Now the race is a 10k [for those of you not into the racing lingo then let me 'splain - that is 6.2 miles....over a ginormous bridge....that I paid to trudge over] but I think we [being my sister and several other friends] actually ended up walking about 10 miles by the end of the race. You see, the cities of Charleston and Mount Pleasant are not that big so they had great difficulty handling these extra 44,000 so we had to walk a country mile [or five but who's counting?] to actually get to the start of the race. Seriously, we ended up on a side street at the mile mark of the race route. Several of the following thoughts ran through my head at this moment:
1. I could hang here and just "join" the race after mile 1.
2. I could hang in one of those 44,000 Port-O-John's located in the area. [However, considering I absolutely HATE public restrooms and these stinky boxes o'poo classify as one step close to death so that idea left as quickly as it came into my sick, twisted head.]
3. I could walk back to the car, stretch out and sleep while everyone else drags themselves over the Arthur J. Ravenel Bridge.
4. Just stop whining you big baby.
According to my aching calves, "Unfortunately, number 4 won out."

The race officials corralled us [yes, like animals] into sections according to our letters on our race bibs. The ultra racers [aka Kenyans, Ethopians, and Crazies] wereway in the front - like about 3/4 of a mile from the point where people like me were standing to begin the race. What letter was I? [I thought you'd never ask!] I was in corral J - which actually stands for, "Jesus just let me get over this bridge without dying!" You think I am kidding but I actually had a long talk with the good Lord about a lot of things while I waited the TWO hours for the race to begin. I had my iPod in the whole time, sort of oblivious to everyone around me when I turn around to Gene Simmons dressed as a skeleton or, as I affectionately coined him, Scary Man with Spandex Suit. I was a little embarrassed over the fact that I didn't wash my hair on Saturday morning and this man was bearing it all for Charleston to see. Is it sad that I actually wanted to see him run in that suit?

Once the race began [sometime Sunday morning I think] I knew that the only reason I wanted to finish was to get an orange. Yes, an orange. Bi-Lo is a major sponsor of the bridge run and they always have these huge, delicious oranges after the race. My plan was to conquer this bridge [if by conquer you simply mean get over it before work on Monday morning without dying] so that I could get an orange. I started praying, jamming to my iPod, and thinking about those oranges. I didn't stop, not one time, because I wanted an orange [plus, I knew if I stopped then someone would be carrying me over that bridge]. The race ended [and I was still breathing and with a pulse], my 3 hour [the majority spent waiting for the race to begin...I'm not that slow] prayer time came to an end with me thanking God for the ability to walk 6.2 miles, and my quest to secure an orange began. I saw people with oranges, I saw loads of orange peels, and I could smell the oranges. I made it to the Bi-Lo table o' food to find......NO MORE ORANGES!! What? I want my money back!!! No only were all the oranges gone but the bananas were also gone and the only muffins left were lemon poppy seed [which might as well be sand in a muffin - those seeds are nasty]. At that moment I realized that I was incredibly thirsty and guess what? NO MORE WATER! Are you kidding me? What was worse was the fact that there were MANY people wandering around who DID NOT run/walk/saunter/sprint or even think about the bridge run and they were carrying ORANGES and WATER!! I will be honest, at this point, after walking 2 miles to the "corral", being subjected to seeing Gene "Spandex" Simmons, booking it for 6.2 miles, then walking another 1/2 mile to find oranges and water only to find them rouged by greedy non-racers I was really considering hitting someone.

After meeting up with folks riding back with us we got on the buses that would take us back to Summer's car. Another false claim like the oranges and water....that bus clearly passed right by where we parked [which was a mere TWO miles from the starting point] and kept on going. I am fairly certain, when it stopped, we walked from Jacksonville, FL back to our car. Holy cow Batman! Seriously, when a person just walked all that way, from one town to the next, up a huge bridge, loses out on oranges, and then has to walk 14 miles back to their car they can be slightly ill...glad that wasn't me. We got lucky ~ the part of our group that finished way before me had made it to their car, called us, and took us back to our car.

All in all, [even though the orange thing didn't go as planned], I still had quite the adventure. I spent some quality time with my little sister. We rarely have the opportunity to hang out together so it was great fun. She took me to P.F.Chang's for dinner on Saturday night and it was really good. We laughed, talked, and laughed some more. I love my sister ♥

It's always nice to go out of town but I was happy to get home to see the Shorties :) As always, life is good ♥

Magic Beans

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 08:02:00 +0000

My children drink a lot of milk and the stuff ain't cheap. I told Craig, "We should just buy a cow - that would have to be cheaper." Gabe's solution? "Just find a wizard [because there are several of those here in Cleveland County], get some magic beans like Jack did, grow a bean stalk, and get you a cow." I am seriously wondering if kindergarten is really ready for him.

Riding home yesterday, he told me that Jesus left us a check mark in the sky via the clouds [he didn't use the word via - that is my little embellishment] and then he told me that Jesus also left a door to Heaven in those same clouds. Saturday morning the boy was up with the chickens. Apparently he was Googling Jesus because I found it typed in the search on the tool bar. Simple yet so powerful. Thank you God for the innocence and sincerity of children.

I caught the tail end of the youth's session on the book of James. The youth pastor shared the following video and I found it overwhelmingly emotional.

The words of her weight loss struggles pierced my heart. I could not stop the stinging tears of regret and frustration. I wanted to run away and leave all of this anger at myself laying right there in that chair. [My levees are broken, my walls have come tumbling down on me.] How did I get to be this person sitting in that chair? [The rain is falling.] Giving up is easier than standing up. [Defeat is calling.] And at that moment she said the one thing I needed to hear: I've never asked God to help me in this journey. I've never asked for his guidance. [I need you to set me free.] I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with who I am. [Take me far away from the battle. I need you.] I will never be that skinny girl from high school and I am OK with that but I know I have to stop this insane denial and get with it. [Shine on me.]

I try not to get overly emotional but honestly, the tears have come easily the last few days. [No, I am not with child but thanks for wondering.] There is lots in this crazy head of mind [except sanity and an affinity to remember the simple things] and I would definitely settle for a slow down right about now. Maybe Gabe can find me some of those magic beans...if only it were that simple.

One day at a time and it will all be OK.

Yo God ~ What's Poppin'?

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:46:00 +0000

If there is one thing [I am choosing to focus on one thing tonight....I know that there are MANY things I am not good at] I am not very good at it is praying. I pray, alot, and that is because it usually takes me ALL day to finish the prayer I start in the morning. I begin to pray and the next thing I know, I'm thinking about school and fixing dinner and how much money I need for the day and.....my thoughts wander. God just wants my undivided attention and I can't get the other "stuff" off my mind long enough to give that to him. I get so mad at myself [really, I believe I need some ADD medicine or something to help me focus on one task at a time because lately, I have the attention span of a gnat] so I pick up where I left off. It literally takes me all morning to pray sometimes. I suppose there isn't anything wrong with a constant attitude of prayer but mine is because I can't give God the time.

So what do I do? I really have wonderfully awesome days when I get up, early before EVERYONE in the house, fix a pot of coffee, and study my Bible. [If you've been with me lately then you know that ain't been happening.] Just me and God. I have so enjoyed being a part of a Bible study about the life of David and I have loved diving in the old testament to learn about David. I enjoy having the opportunity to not only read the good book but study scripture. Not having a regular sleep pattern [snore, hold my breath, snore, hold my breath, snore, hold my breath, roll over, snore louder, on and on and on...like a bad Lionel Richie song, "All Night Long"] is killing me ~ literally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Blah, blah, blah..."He that is good for excuses is seldom good for anything else," said Ben Franklin. The sleep doc is working on the sleep thing but I have to do my part in the mean time. If that means sucking it up, getting outta the bed 30 or 45 minutes earlier so that I make time for God then that is what I have to do. I keep a list of annoying excuses for no homework on my board at school yet I am making worst ones to myself and more. No more excuses for a lot of things that need to change with me. Those of you that know me [and hopefully love me a little] need to hold me accountable, keep my feet to the fire, and most of all, pray for me.

I borrowed the title of this post from one of Molly's friends. Last year, during DNow, their leader told them to talk to God like he is right there in the room while they are praying. Get personal when you pray. And be specific [not like, "I really want those new shoes or that Coach pocketbook] and don't be complacent by saying the same things every day [God knows when we are just recititing the same things over and over again out of habit]. I can do those things. I will do those things.

I am so very blessed and I've have to get out of this funk that I seem to be living under. I'm not a "go to work and complain" kind of person nor am I a "let me sit around and do nothing" girl but here lately, I've been both. I have nothing to complain about - absolutely nothing. I have the absolutely greatest children - in the ENTIRE world - and I am married to a wonderful, Godly man. I am part of an enormous family [in-laws, out-laws, and and everyone in between] that have done more for me than I could ever repay. So, get over it Missy....seriously.

As always, God was there - I am the one that moved. I will leave you with one of my favorite songs....

My Last Year as a 30 Something

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 03:46:00 +0000

Hola mi amigos ~ long time no see!! [You didn't know I knew Spanglish did you?] To be honest, [Why is this phrase used so much? Really you are being honest? I think I'll start saying, "To tell you a completely fabricated and utterly riduculous lie....." because that sounds like a lot more fun] I've been struggling. I won't get into the ugly details but just know that surviving on a few hours of sleep each night has really taken it's toll on me. I decided that maybe a trip to the ol' sleep doc might be a good idea. As it turns out, I have a pretty moderate case of sleep apnea. Now I get to go back and spend the night in a doctor's office, with other strange people, hooked up to 1,578 wires that plug into a box that monitors my brain waves [yes, I have a brain], my heart, and my oxygen levels while I sleep with a Darth Vader like mask that forces air into the back of my throat....sounds like a barrel of monkeys now doesn't it?  So I asked the good sleep doctor, "Why, at my age, after having no problems sleeping in my entire life, has this all of sudden become a problem?" [Wait for this incredily scientific answer....] "Well to be honest [there it goes again] Mrs. Short, we really have no idea." That is comforting....really. Should sleeping be this difficult? Isn't it like NATURAL to sleep?! Why, all of a sudden, have the muscles in the back of my throat decided to go on strike, rendering my ability to BREATHE null and void? "Yes, at one point your oxygen saturation plummetted to only 78%." It's a wonder I haven't walked to school naked [which would have been EXTREMELY unfortunate for anyone, even the blind, and very embarassing for my children] or fallen asleep while doing the laundry [which is another reason I don't do the laundry because that could be dangerous to fall asleep in a pile of dirty unmentionables].   Of course, two nights ago, I awoke several times, in sheer panic, that I was going to die in the middle of night - on the upside I caught up on 4 years of Friends episodes so all was OK. If I've been looking like a straight Zombie then you know why [and if you say its because of my make up I may punch you].

This is my last year in my 30s.....I will be 39 next Saturday.  Thirty nine....three nine....39. That is 3 times the age of many of the kids that I teach...and older than some of their parents.....*)&@!#$% In this last year there are some things I would like to do...starting with SLEEP. Once I get the sleep thing under control then I have some things I have to do. Please, please, please keep me in your prayers. I've really got to get my health in check :)

We've been keeping it real [whatever that is] here at Casa de la Short [Spanglish!!]. The Gabester had a visit with the doctor on Tuesday for his Kindergarten check up and that was so much fun. Seriously, the boy is crazy. He asked for help reading the eye chart and told the nurse she hurt him last time she checked his height....all before we ever entered the room. He then let out a barrage of comments, questions, crazy thoughts that left zero doubts about our great parenting skills. Poor kid had to get 4 shots and didn't even cry....of course, he's drug his poor left leg around for two days like he was shot by a deer rifle. He's healthy, he's funny [as crap...that's what Cooper would say], and he's all mine :)

I had a crazy thought [I know that really just made some of you go, "Really?"] last night after a conversation with little bagger boy [Bag the groceries, Pa-Rum-Pa-Pum-Pum] at the grocery store. I was checking out and he asked me, "How did you get all of the groceries in that cart?" I wanted to reply, "Well I strategically measured each individual package and can's volume to make sure that the dimensions of the cart were exactly equal to the parking space on the last row on the eastern side of the parking lot...after I backed my car into the space with 5 inches on either side to the white line." What I really said was, "I just threw them in there...even the bread." [ I guess my intense lack of any lengthy explanation was not apparent enough] because then he said, "How many people are you feeding with all these groceries?" Does this kid get paid to be nosy or bag my groceries? Both is the correct answer. "There are 6 of us at my house....last time I looked anyway. Two of them eat for two, which makes two extra people, which puts us up to 8. Two eat like goats, which puts us up to 8 people and two goats. Plus, I cook dinner every night." Yep...you guessed it....he asked me, "What kind of job do you have that you can feed 6 people?" This kid is on a roll. "Well, we only let two of them eat at a time. This week it's the middle ones turn. Of course, the hubs and I eat every night" was what I was thinking. "We are both teachers." And yes, as if his knowing my shopping habits, kids names, weight at birth, and shoe size was not enough he asks, "What do you teach?" [I should have answered stoichiometry or sex education to transgendered youth or underwater basket weaving.] "I teach 8th grade science." [At this point I thought to myself that he was either stalling me because I was under arrest or I won like a bazillion dollars from Ingle's.] "What does your husband teach?" [I began to put my hands behind my back to make it easier for the cops to put the cuffs on my wrists becuase that millionth customer confetti was not falling..] "World history and he coaches." His response? I don't know...I stopped listening. Is eating really worth that kind of interrogation?

I promise not to wait so long to post next time. As always, sleepyheaded and all, it's great to be one of 6 Shorites :)

Why I Love Teaching

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:59:00 +0000

Emma was invited to a birthday party at the skating rink yesterday and as we were leaving I saw a student that is currrently in my class. I went over to say hello and it hit me that I really love teaching. [Strange place for that thought to occur I know but that is when it hit me.] I've thought a lot about this since yesterday and here are my thoughts:
1. Kids are funny. They will say and do [and usually believe] just about anything.
2. They get excited to see you in public ~ sometimes I think they believe you live at school...literally.
3. When they "get it" [which can be hit or miss...and that's generally my fault] it is amazing to see that proverbial lightbulb come on.
4. I am a smart alec [that one shocked you I know] and I love picking with them. I just got a Smartboard and I added some sounds to my bell work question. The sounds were just silly clips from movies and the kids got a kick out of it.
5. I am a nerd...and what better way to share my nerdiness that through being a science teacher.
6. I get to be out of school when my kids are out of school.
7. I believe this is exactly what God intended for my life.

As I am finishing up my 16th year of teaching [I know it is just now March but it will fly by] I am thankful for the ups and downs. I am thankful for the mentors and friends that I've made a long the way. I am thankful for students that have taught me way more than I could've ever taught them. I love it when kids that I've taught will tell me about making good grades in a specific class or remembering something I taught them. Those are the best rewards of my job. I am thankful for the grace and mercy shown to me by so many that have helped me become the teacher I am today. I still have a lot to learn and I don't always make the right decisions [now some of you are really upset to learn I am not as perfect as you thought] but I am willing to admit my mistakes, find the answers, and get better at what I'm doing. Best of all, I appreciate the many, undeserved blessings that God has given me through teaching :)

As always, life as a Short is just peachy ♥

Gabe is a Parrothead

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 03:08:00 +0000

Gabe broke out in spontaneous Jimmy Buffett tonight and I had to share. Enjoy!!!

Who am I to Deserve This?

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 23:17:00 +0000

It's official - softball season has begun. [Thank goodness Molly made the team this year. My favorite coach was going to have a long, cold season sleeping in the building from now until May if she got cut....]  Saturday was the official Kings Mountain Scrimmage [or, as we like to call it, Bring on the Cold as Crap Weather Scrimmage]. My goodness gracious it was cold ! Two days before it was 75 degrees but Saturday? 30 with a -25 wind. There was no escaping the it either. And, since my favorite coach runs the whole sh'bang the ENTIRE Shortie clan was there ~ one coach, one player, one concession stand worker, one gate keeper, and two goats asking for more stuff from the concession stand. Good times....good times :) I am excited about this softball season - I've got a really good feeling that it's going to be super fun!

Craig and I are so very blessed. I look around at all of the things we have but that's not what makes us blessed. We have these four amazing children that continue to make us laugh [and cry] and fill our lives with joy. How could we ask for anything more? Why would we ask for anything more? We've spent the entire weekend together and it has been glorious. I love just talking to them and giving them hugs. I never imagined that being a parent could be such a fulfilling and worthwhile "job." We have struggled since we've been married [not us as in struggled to be married but struggled financially]. We sort of put the "cart before the horse" so to speak. Actually, we put the cart then the horse then the wheels on the cart. I never would have imagined, in 16 years, we'd be where we are today. It is not us that put us here but He who deserves the glory. He blessed us with wonderful families that helped us out [and still do] along the way so that we never, ever went without the things we needed. He kept us going through good times and bad and helped us through MANY mistakes [of course more mistakes by Craig than me but who's keeping tabs?].

This begs the question, "Who am I?" I am not deserving of anything God has done in my life - not one single thing. Yet, His grace and mercy have sustained me, encouraged me, inspired me, and beckoned me to come a little farther still. He has provided when we could not. Breathtaking. Amazing. Love.  My heart is overjoyed and I wanted to share :)

Short and I have decided to pack up the Shorties and take Washington by storm [I am quite certain the Secret Service just increased exponentially at the thought that Emma and Gabe would be in DC at the same time]. We are uber excited!!!!! The last time we took our kids on vacation was almost 4 years ago [vacations cost money and we are just now learning to use ours to our benefit...never too late I suppose] and we just went to the beach. Now, don't me wrong [Chrissy Hynde and the Pretenders just went singing through my head...hello 1986] being the good rednecks that we are we love us some Myrtle Beach [I know that rednecks aren't the only ones that go to Myrtle Beach but the people that aren't redneck stay in them fancy places 'cause the rental spots I'm always in are full of rednecks] but we would also like for our kids to see some other places on vacation. We felt like DC would be a good choice for several reasons:
1. Alot of things to do are absolutely free [and when you are taking 6 people on vacation then free = good].
2. We relish blazing hot weather and kids on vacation ~ we love a challenge!
3. Emma and Gabe are so into Abraham Lincolnton and dinosaurs right now and the Molly and Cooper are history ~~nerds~~ buffs [smh] so DC seemed like the perfect place.
4. We can spend as much to go there and do 100% more as we can at Myrtle Beach.
5. Disney World was not an option this year.
I will be sure to keep you posted [as if you care] because I have HUGE plans. I'm planning this vacation for maximum overload ~ we are going to see it all! The hotel is booked already so we are well on our way :)

Gabe decided this morning that he no longer likes nursery. When I asked him why, in his tiny voice he answered, "It's just too hard to be good all day!" All you Kindergarten teachers might want to consider an alternative assignment for this next school year, a new profession, or some serioius drugs if his name shows up on your roll. [Don't say you weren't warned - I have proof.] Then, you can have a conversation like the following and you are thinking, "Wow!"
Gabe: Mommy, I like cemetaries.
Me: Me too! When we go to Washington we'll get to visit a huge cemetary.
Gabe: Is that where Martin Luther King is buried.
Me [sad but I wasn't sure or not]: I don't think so. But there are some really neat graves there like JFK's [as if he was going to know who JFK was].
Gabe: What happened to him?
Me: A mean man named Lee Harvey Oswald shot him and he died.
Gabe: Did he shoot him because he didn't like him?
Me: Yes that is right.
Gabe: Like when Plane [aka Pontius Pilot] let Jesus die because he didn't like what Jesus was telling about God?
Me:That is right.
Gabe might be a stinker but he listens when it is important :)

As always, life as a Short is awesome!!

So This is How the Other Side Lives

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 02:25:00 +0000

I ain't from a round here - I hail from [that is the appropriate spelling - I Googled it] Lincoln County. Its not that one place is better than the other - they are about the same in my opinion [that and $.25 will get you nowhere] - but today I got a glimpse at how the "other side" does their grocery shopping. And, based on the odd stares I got as I pilfered through my coupons, I was the outsider in their grocery store. What they don't know is that:
1. I work hard for my money [so hard for my money so you better treat me right] and the last time I looked, shopping at the HT in Shelby was not just for the privileged.
2. If I want to use a coupon for EVERYTHING I buy then you can take your cart full of tofu, pomegranate juice, and fresh fish to the next line.
3. Feeding six people [one being a 13 year old boy and another being a 16 year old fastpitch softball player...and of course, the two goats named Emma and Gabe] is expensive so when super double coupons is going on I'm all over that one.
4. Your complaints about "all the extra people in here just because it's super double coupons" makes me want to come back and take up more of your space.
Yeah....the "other side" doesn't live any better than I do - they just think they do.

On my way home [as I was contemplating why Mr. State Trooper was riding my fanny when I was clearly doing the speed limit of 65 in a 65] I heard an oldie but goodie....Stone in Love by Journey.

I was rockin'....air guitar and all. Love me some classic rock [and when state troopers go around me to catch someone else].

As always, life as a Short is awesome :)

I am the Mother of an Albino

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 05:21:00 +0000

Bless her heart but Molly has my very pale skin. [And, as you know, my brains and intellect.] Several weeks ago, Craig was picking on her [imagine that] and said, "I am the father of an albino." He can't just use his own voice but has to create one that that sounds monotone and nasally. Of course, when there are not one but THREE human tape recorders in the house [Coop, Emma, and the Gabester] then you know that little sentence caught on like wildfire. Tonight I was helping Gabe by spelling words for him to write [which was hilarious since I had to keep showing him how to make the letters...which means I was also writing the words. He knows his letters but he found it funny to keep asking me then writing it on his paper before I could write it on mine] when he broke out, "I am the brother of an albino." He giggled like it was the funniest thing he'd ever said - ever. [If I can manage it I am going to record Craig saying this and share it...]

I just have to go down this road a minute [still time to google albino if you need some help] and I mean no disprespect in saying this but is it necessary to continue to discuss the Whitney Houston thing as the first news story, on Facebook, in the newspaper, etc.? Don't get me wrong - I've got her greatest hits album [some of you gonna need to google record album] and she had a phenomenol voice that will probably never be topped - I understand that part. But must we keep hearing the details and her history and then see that same spot of Jennifer Hudson singing a tribute to her over and over and over again? People die, EVERY DAY, defending our country and fighting for freedom yet we never seem to hear enough about these people. Countless people die, way too young, from awful diseases EVERY DAY but we don't sensationalize their deaths. Correct me if I'm wrong [which would only be the second recorded time in my life...in the last two minutes....] but didn't she have a history of alcohol and drug abuse and the toxicology screen will take several weeks? I am 100% certain there is some really good stuff going on the world that should be first story, front page news besides the death of a pop sensation from the 80s. [I hope I didn't overstep the "my opinions" bounds tonight...er, this morning.]

I am doing a Bible study on the life of David and it is terribly fascinating and reassuring. We are currently in week 4 of an 11 week study and I have learned a tremendous amount about what I should be doing to seek God's heart. And it seems like every week a personal struggle or a family issue or other people's burdens will come to mind as I am studying and [as sweet Mickey Heyward would say] God gives me a word, a passage of scripture, some insight, and peace. Not to mention that the fabulous group of women that are on this journey with me have so much wisdom and insight ~ I learn so much from talking with them each week. Thank you God for placing me in the midst of such Godly women :)

As always, life as a Short is really good :)

I Wanted to Be an Undesirable

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 06:14:00 +0000

Gabe's newest "excuse" is that his brain "told him to." Just thinking about him saying that makes me giggle [well that and the fact that it is 12:37am and I feel like I've been up for 97 straight hours]. He has been WiLd here lately and yes, he blames it on his brain. Of course, there was that "kissing" incident this week when instead of his brain telling him to do something it was the brains of his friends telling him what to do. "Well my friends told me to kiss her so I did!" [At this point, in the explanation of the sad face at nursery that day, I was fully engulfed in laughter and got the you-shouldn't-be-laughing look by Craig. All I saw, through my tears, was blah, blah, blah.] Is kissing really that bad? She kissed him back [and got a sad face too] so apparently it was agreed upon. Who knows....we just told him to save his kissing for us.
He also got in trouble for putting water in his hair in the bathroom. It's not a secret that the boy loves to watch TV. Honestly, you do not need to watch commericals - Gabe can receit them for you. One of his faves is the DirectTV commercial.

So he gets in trouble at nursery for wetting his hair and the story went like this:
Craig: Why did you put water in your hair?
Gabe: So I could do this [putting his hands through the mini fro he has].
Craig: What is that?
Gabe [Saying this as if we should know]: I wanted to be an undesirable.
There you go folks...he's learned a valuable lesson somewhere in here....I'm still looking....wait...
[Is this where I immediately regret the decision to allow TV to raise my children?]

This has been an incredibly lllloooooonnnnnnngggggg week. Not necessarily in a bad way but just in a very exhausting way. [Yes, I should be asleep right now but I'm not....could explain that exhausting week I've had....] Craig and I have had a gift certificate to Battleground Steakhouse here in the KM for almost a year and we decided tonight was a good night for a date night. Little did we know that our quality time would be spent waiting two hours to eat. [Here is where some of you are asking why did we wait two hours to eat instead of just leaving....follow me.] We only waited about 25 minutes on our table - then the two hour clock started. Forty-five minutes AFTER getting our drinks the potato skins arrived [and I am fairly certain that Short inhaled two of them right off the plate...through his nose]. Another HOUR later we got our food. Apparently, there was a party of 30 people that held up the entire kitchen. Several things we can gleen from this experience:
1. Waiting to eat can make people sorta snippy. [Pointing in Craig's direction]
2. If you have a party of 30 people then you really shouldn't take orders from the other tables until you've at least half way cooked that food. Or get a bigger kitchen. Or both.
3. You parties of 30 need to get a banquet hall or go to Ryan's [if it was good enough for the Short family reunion then...yeah, you might want to upgrade to Golden Corral] because the tiny steakhouse in KM had great difficulty accomodating your party.
4. The party of 30 was apparently from out of town - those of us that are going to continue to frequent the establishment are not going to do so after waiting two hours to eat.
5. We should have cut our loses after the 45 minute wait on apps and rode through Japanese [that would be Yamato's but the rest of us good rednecks just call it Japanese].
I still enjoyed the evening with my favorite coach ♥

Softball season cranks up on Monday. In my starvation at dinner I accidentally volunteered to be the team mom this year. Did someone slip a delusional drug into my 18th cup of coffee tonight? I guess being married to the head coach does have its ~~drawbacks~~ perks. Right now I am thinking I really need a calendar [or personal secretary] so that I can organize this stuff. [I know what some of you are thinking, "Sister, you're gonna need more than a calendar!"] Here's to a good year of KMHS softball :)

As always, life as a Short is undeniably awesome.

Save the Drama for Yo Momma

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:26:00 +0000

We got new furniture! [If I were Cooper, I would insert a leg kick here. Don't ask.] Every lick of furniture that we've EVER had was given to us by a family member. Thank God for family or we would've been sitting on the floor ALOT! The couch we had had just begin to fall apart and the lopsided ottoman [that Gabe broke jumping on it and Craig has fixed three times] was not very attractive so we decided it was time. We got an awesome deal at Laughlin's Furniture in Shelby. Now there is tons of space for everyone.

Sectional that EVERYONE can sit on at the same time!

Craig and I bought $20 worth of fabric and I recovered the glider rocker cushions. I am fairly certain Craig doubted me but I was confident [so I bought twice the amount of fabric needed just to assure that any screw ups would be covered]. There was enough left over [because I plan ahead....for sure mistakes] that I made two pillows. My next project is the Craigslist desk. [I think it still scares Craig to think about the evil plan he cooked up in his mind when we went to buy it] but I am having a time finding the Bahama blue paint I want. Besides, with this crazy weather, I probably should wait.

Check it out! And Craig doubted my ability....

I could not post about this without giving my thanks to God for His many blessings. I look around and yes, this furniture is awesome but what matters most are the ones sitting on it ~ my family. We would still be completely in love if we were sitting on rocks in the living room [and the kids wouldn't fight with Craig over who gets to sit in the recliner]. None of this stuff makes us who we are - not one single stitch of it. I am thankful most of all for the Shorties :)

The Gabester

On a different note, some might be thinking this blog was going to be about them considering the title. Sorry to disappoint.

Tonight, in my Bible study about David, we looked at Psalm 62. I wrote some notes, from Beth Moore, and one of them hit me like bricks: Your enemy is not going to take a rest so you must learn to give it all to God. You must surrender yourself to him. The Psalmist says, in verses 5 and 6, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." How truly awesome is it when God speaks to you in such a powerful way that the things you were going to do to "fix" the situation fade and you are left with this amazing peace? I needed to hear that tonight....I needed to read those words in my Bible. Beth Moore said it so powerfully: God does not defend our honor. He defines it.

As always, life as a Short could not be better :)

Super Bowl Party...but not on the new furniture!!

Abraham Lincolnton and the Italian Texans

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:53:00 +0000

Gabe is a mess - straight up. [As if I needed to proclaim that from the rooftop.] Yesterday was Groundhog Day [if I didn't know that already he has given me daily reminders...he's like an elephant] so when I picked him up at preschool he says, "Guess what mommy? That groundhog saw his shadow and now we're going to have six more weeks of Christmas!" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was simply winter - why dash his dreams?

He has also been learning about President's Day. He came home one night and told us all about George Washington and that whole cherry tree thing. [I just wonder if that is true. No, I really don't care but it sounded good.] He is our conversation:
Gabe: Abraham Lincolnton was our a president. He got shot at a show by a man named Patty. Patty shot him 'cause he didn't like him. Patty was mean.
Me: I am pretty sure the man's name that shot him was John.
Gabe: Nope. It was Patty.
So there you go my friends....that is the story of Abraham Lincolnton...our 16th president.

This past Wednesday, when I picked him up from mission friends, he was choking another little boy. You know it isn't a good sign when you open the door and see your son wrestling another child. [Well that and that fact that his teacher said, "He has been wild tonight."] He gets it from his daddy...I promise. He and the other kid just hee-hawed and gave each other a high five as they left. I learned later, from his teacher, that they were discussing missionaries from Houston, Texas. Gabe's spin on it? "Texas? Hmmm...I wonder if she was Italian?" [Exactly what I would have asked.] Bless his teachers hearts....they deserve a medal and cheesecake [just don't get those two confused] for putting up with him. You just never, ever know what he's going to do or say.

As always, life as a CRAZY Short is awesome!

Lead Me

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:35:00 +0000

Today has been one of those Mondays [and not the kind my close friend and fellow Parrothead sang about when he said, "Come Monday it'll be alright"] where a skull splitting headache is the perfect end to the day. I cannot say there was one thing that made it especially hard just a lot to do and not enough time to get it done.

I started working on a grant about two weeks ago because it was due today. Guess when I finished it? Yep...today. Two weeks ago would have been grand but why do ahead of time what you can put off until the 11th hour? [Lord I sure hope my children don't take after me in the procrastination department.] I tried to finish it last night so I could "polish" it up today but that wasn't the case. I did manage to pull it together so we'll see what happens.
I had my friends over for a Pampered Chef party. I'm not the hostess with the mostest but I do love some Pampered Chef. I also saw this as a great opportunity to have some girl time with good friends. The food was fabulous!! Seriously, whodathunk you could bake a cake in the microwave? We ate like queens tonight, laughed, and enjoyed ourselves.

Back to my headache [you may have forgotten but I sure didn't]...once Craig got home from a stirring night of intellectual discussion in his graduate class my headache reminded me that it was still hanging on. It was just about par for the course that there isn't one single Advil, Tylenol, or Aleve in this house - not even children's medicine! [What's up with that? I have four kids so one would think there would be a chewable something I could take but nope...none-ya...notta....zip...zilch...nothing!] I resorted to laying in complete darkness. And while I layed there, in the near fetal position, it occured to me that I try to do so much on my own. Not on my own like my favorite coach or kiddos don't help but alone without asking God to help me...take on my burdens and worry...lead me.

The song by Sanctus Reel came to mind..Lead me 'cause I can't do this alone. God hit me right square between the eyes [not literally but it sure felt like it] and said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest ~ Matthew 11:28. Who am I to think that I could take on being mom, wife, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, etc. without God's help? I'll tell ya who I am...I am a woman with a skull splitting headache, bent shoulders, and too much on her mind. And it is my own fault....I cannot do this on my own. Today I sure did try and failed miserably. But just like the Bible says in Lamentations 3:22-23: Because of the Lord's great Love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Tomorrow will be a new day and I will begin this one by asking God for his guidance and mercy....and then I will let him take the lead....

Top Mommy Blog News Alert

Step Away Chubby Made the TOP 50!!! Thanks for loving us....we appreciate all our followers!!

Where is Gabe?

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:47:00 +0000

Last night Gabe was missing. Not really "missing" like panic but more like "Gabe is somewhere messing with something. Gabe! Where are you?" [At our house, if Gabe gets super quiet you better go look for him because he's up to something.] It was 9:30ish, and all of us were really tired so we were thinking of going to bed. I was in the bedroom and came back into the living room and asked the other four, "Where is Gabe?" Craig answered, "He's in the bathroom." I let about three minutes go by and then I yelled, "Gabe are you OK?" And nothing....

So I ventured into the bathroom to find him, on the potty, ASLEEP! Poor kid was doubled over, sound asleep. When I tried to stand him up his feet were asleep! He started crying [who can blame him really] and then he tried to lay down on the floor. I yelled, "How long has he been in here?" to which one of the smart alec Shorties replied, "Uh, long enough to go to sleep!" I was not happy and Gabe was even less happy than me. Bless his heart.....I let him fall asleep beside me on the couch.

Welcome to our world! That little incident right there would be FANTASTIC fodder for reality TV! Nobody but us would allow their five year old to fall asleep on the toilet while doing his business...I could not make this stuff up if I tried!!!

We Want A Reality TV Show

noreply@blogger.com (Missy Short) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:36:00 +0000

[Shameless Plug #2 - Last time I checked, Step Away Chubby was all the way in 58th place overall and in the top 16 in family blogs so please, please, please keep voting!!!!! I don't get a thing from this except feeling good that people are reading and liking my stuff so help me out!!!]

I despise reality TV - alot. My least favorite show is American Idol [Is Steven Tyler alive?]. I cannot stand the way they make fun of people on the show. I just don't like it. ["Well change the station!" some of you just said....I don't have to because I don't watch it.] Craig and I were talking last night and we decided that if we must endure all these other reality shows then we should get one of our own. Seriously. I mean, there is a some good stuff that happens around here...really.

Last night Craig was flipping through the channels and he lands on Swamp People. First of all, these are some seriously crazy folks [see, we have that crazy stuff down pat]. They hunt alligators - big gators. Very interesting....After this show, Craig made us watch Appalachia Snake Man. [The word Appalachia does hint at something doesn't it?] Yep...we watched the entire show. Her name is Reva and his is Verlin. He is a snake hunter and they live in the mountains of Kentucky. On last night's show they were going camping....in WEST VIRGINIA! Whodathunk it?

The story being told in last night's episode was not that interesting. They were going to WV to a church reunion [come to find out, Verlin is a snake handler at church] and the whole family was going to camp. Before they left, though, they had to visit the youngest child's school to discuss some bullying issues. The camera' showed them sitting in the lobby, waiting on the principal, and when he arrived we found out their last name................S-H-O-R-T!!! That's right - they are the Shorts from the Appalachian Mountains of Kentucky, with four kids - 2 boys and 2 girls - and a snake handlin' daddy. [We are redneck, we live near a mountain, and we have four kids.....I ain't handlin' venemous snakes but surely there is something interesting about us?!]

Craig and I laughed so hard when we heard their last name...it is a sign. [Of what I don't know.] Maybe someone out there will read this that has connections with some big reality TV producer, and the Shorties will finally hit the big time!

As always, life as a Short is fun :)