Gorgeous hand made wallets are a wonderful gift for people in recovery. Wallets have a deep symbolic meaning because just about everyone in recovery has had financial problems due to their using or drinking. Sobriety brings more financial stability.. Giving a wallet sends he message “now that you won’t be squandering all your money on drugs or alcohol, you’ll be needing a nice place to put your money.” Sobriety is its own reward, but as the Big Book promises: “Fear…of economic insecurity will leave us.” As a matter of fact, this is one of the AA Promises that I can personally vouch is so true!  AA logo and other styles available soon.

I am honored to be have been selected to be the official jewelry designer for the Circle of Sister upcoming convention on March 15, 16 and 17, 2013 “Stepping into the Circle of Recovery”.  My designs will be featured at this event.  This is my all-first all-women Narcotics Anonymous Convention and I am thrilled to be part of it.  Thank for considering my artwork.

Once an alcoholic or addict is “in recovery” and has been clean and sober for a while and continues to go to AA or NA or other 12 Step meetings, relapse is still a very real possibility. Although I have over 10 years of sobriety, my recent bout of chronic back pain pointedly reminded me of how fragile I am. I was very close to relapse and deadly afraid that prescription painkillers would lead me back to that dark place I thought I would never escape over a decade ago.

Brand new design, hot out of the oven.  Come and get yours!  Officially licensed by Narcotics Anonymous.   http://serenityisforever.com/jewelry/dog-tag/military-style/na-symbol-dog-tag-necklace.html

Although this Thanksgiving marks a decade of my own sobriety, I can still remember those early days of recovery clearly.  Specifically, the extreme emotional turmoil I put my husband through.  I remember his frustration, his disgust, his fear, his pity and his worry.  But when I was using, I just didn’t really care about how he felt.  I just collapsed into this self-made prison of isolation, apathy and self-loathing.  Nothing he said to me seemed to sink in. I was deaf and dumb to all of it.  I just wanted to be left alone with my crippling anxiety that I believed I could only relieve my own way, by self-medicating.

At that time I wasn’t working. Holding onto a job would have been impossible for me and besides, my husband was supporting me.  Nevertheless, I had my own money problems.  I had accumulated thousands of dollars in credit card debt due to taking weekly cash advances to support my habit.  When I turned to my husband to pay the bill, he simply said to me, “I am not financing your drug habit.  I will help you find a drug-addiction counselor, I will support you in any way to sobriety, but I will not pay for your habit.  Go flip burgers, do whatever to pay your drug debts but I won’t give you one cent.”

Boy…was I angry with him!  I thought he was being a cruel bastard by not supporting his own wife.   It was only months later, after I achieved some longer-term sobriety that I realized he was doing me a big favor but not enabling me.  Today, he tells me that it was the hardest thing he had to do but he had no choice.  My husband found guidance through Al-Anon.   And it was that confrontation that finally led me to see a counselor who took me to my first meeting.  The rest is history.

For most people, not enabling is the hardest part of their loved-one’s recovery.  They feel like they are abandoning them, especially because not cleaning up the addict’s mess feels like the easy way out. It feels like a convenient cop-out but it is anything but.  Obviously, the addict needs to feel the consequences of their behavior, but a huge part of the message of not helping the addict is: I know you have what it takes to get out of this prison, so just do what it takes! When a child spills a glass of milk, which of these is more likely to help raise a strong, capable individual: chastising her for being sloppy and making work for yourself as you clean it up, or giving her paper towels to fix the problem?

To all of the people who consistently give love, moral support and other little tokens of encouragement that stop short of a bailout, I salute and sincerely thank you. I’ve had a front-row seat, and I must say that you’re the real heroes.

Hi, your work is amazing. I am a recovering addict recently diagnosed with PTSD from the Gulf War….I was just wondering if you are continuing your blog work. I haven’t seen any updates from September. I hope all is well. — Charles

Thank you for asking Charles! I haven’t been very well, I’ve been having chronic back pain issues for the last six months.  What’s more, I’m not taking any pain medication because I’m afraid of relapse.

I’ve been wanting to talk about how the Serenity Prayer (or my artwork) is not just about addiction recovery.  The Serenity Prayer is for anybody who needs comfort, inspiration and has to cope with whatever life has brought them.  To those people who have written to me about this, I sincerely apologize.  The Serenity Prayer belongs to everybody.

For me, going through my chronic pain issue right now, the Serenity Prayer has taken on an even greater meaning.  I need to the courage to stick with physical therapy even though it it causes me pain.  I need the serenity to patiently work through this even though the recovery is excruciatingly slow.  And finally, the wisdom to figure out which aspects of my condition I can do something about vs. those that I need to accept for now.

Charles, I’m sure what I’m going through is nothing in comparison to what you’re experiencing with your PSTD.  I am touched that your are following my blog and wondering if I’m still here.  May God grant you the serenity…