When you and your sisters we little, strangers used to say foreboding things like "just wait until they're teenagers." Several people made similar remarks on your birthday this year: "Oh no! Another teenager!" Truth be told, I couldn't be more delighted to have another teenager - especially one as compassionate and conscientious as you.

I realize that you are lovely on the outside - with your tumbling golden locks, captivating eyes, and genuine smile - but you positively radiate inner beauty. True beauty that comes from humility, kindness, gentleness, and selflessness.

In our house, you are a peacemaker. Whenever there happens to be an argument of any sort, you are remarkable at dispelling tension and adding a completely calm, clarifying sentiment. You have a way of seeing the big picture and not getting pulled down into the fickleness of emotions.

You are also a servant - seeing needs before their spoken and cheerfully jumping in to cook meals, clean the house, and do any small tasks that will benefit the family. No one needs to ask. You just take action: feeding the dog, baking cookies for a party, making school lunches, and chopping vegetables.

At school, you are well-loved by your peers and I understand why. You are humble, unassuming, warm - willing to laugh at yourself, ready to cheer for others. Not at all prone to meanness, which unfortunately is a stereotypes that the media has perpetuated about girls your age. You extend the friendship branch to people who are both younger and older than you without worry about what others might think. In your mind, age is just a number that friendship transcends.

When it comes to your studies, you are the definition of self-motivation. Driven by some inner spark to do your very best. Sometimes I wish that schools graded for grit, ambition, and goodness. If they did, you'd be at 110% in every subject. Laziness isn't in your vocabulary. You stay up late - memorizing Latin grammar and reviewing math concepts. You review your recitations and history notes in the shower. You quiz yourself on science as you wander the backyard. Never idle. Never in need of reminders. Making the most of every moment. Understanding the gift of time and mastering it instead of letting it master you. That's not to say that you don't get stellar grades (you do - all A's!), but sometimes traditional grading scales miss the mark. They don't see what we see - hard work, cheerful determination, and a deep commitment to excellence.

These same attributes also serve you well in sports (basketball, soccer, volleyball). Fast. Strong. Serious on the court or the field. If your coach tells you to practice, you practice. You'll keep running even when your lungs and legs are on fire. Perseverance is your style and, as a result, you are a mighty athlete despite your small size. When it comes to athletic capacity, you are six feet tall.

Your future goals are many. For the longest time (from before you were even in school!), you wanted to be a doctor. We actually called you "Dr. A Sheaffer." You still would love that, but you watch and observe people too. You see the sacrifices and think deeply - especially since you want a big family. That's also something you've always wanted - far more than any career. You love babies and small children. You see the gift of motherhood and you want to make memories with a whole houseful of children. You will be a wonderful mother - sweet and serene, energetic and creative, incredibly fun, and always baking up scrumptious treats.

Today, on your birthday, and every day - I adore you. God knew our family needed a girl like you and I can't imagine a day without you.

With much love,

Mom

Other Notes:

• Hobbies: baking, bike riding, riding your hoverboard, playing with our golden retriever, writing letters to penpals & friends (especially your dear cousin Penny)
• Favorite Foods: steak and mashed potatoes, soups of various kinds, any new food you've never tried before
• Words I Would Use to Describe You: adventurous, sensible, super sweet sister, selfless, stylish, sporty, party planner, non-complainer, thoughtful about the needs of others, photogenic, flexible, content, coffee drinker
• Of Note: You got braces this year and, as usual, bore the initial pain quietly and with gratitude.
• If you could, you would: travel anywhere and everywhere, go on roller coasters, join a swim team, take dance and music lessons, ski down mountains, hold babies

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear A, 13 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

If you could step into a time machine and go back to 1998 and meet me at age sixteen, I think we would have been instant friends.

We both love people - their idiosyncracies, their nuances - happy to see people and care for them in spite of their flaws. We both enjoy writing, acting, dancing, wearing overalls, making new friends, reciting poetry, and singing in the car. I could see us, arm-in-arm, laughing and rolling the car windows down with favorite tunes playing.

You, however, have your own strengths and pastimes. Your musical breath, depth, and passion astound me. Your melodic voice can be heard all throughout the house, often accompanied by guitar chords. You'll sit on your bed for hours with an open binder, writing songs that sound like they could be playing on the radio (perhaps someday they will be, I wouldn't be a bit surprised).

As a little girl, you dressed up in costumes and performed for us regularly. Your knack for acting was evident from the tiny toddler years. You were a gypsy, an Odd Squad agent, a doctor, an astronaut. You had then (and you have now) perfect comedic timing and a natural aptitude for accents. You were able to give people a sneak peek of your talents as Caroline Bingley in Pride & Prejudice, but that was just the smallest fraction of your abilities.

Your athleticism is also notable. The small sports offerings at your tiny high school are not a good match for a girl like you - who has fire in her lungs, swift legs, and the inner fortitude to push past pain. You would have been a strong cross-country athlete. I bet you would have excelled at tennis and soccer. Your natural propensity to be fast and aggressive gives you an edge in any sport. Plus, though people may not know it from your small frame, you're surprisingly muscular - they haven't seen you flex. For now, you play volleyball. You'll add basketball again next year because you missed it.

Although you can box out basketball players like a pro, you also are naturally graceful and have always (always!) wanted to take dance lessons. This is another hobby that was stunted by geography. There is not one studio to be found in our city with modest costuming and choreography. You dance every year in our church's annual Christmas production, but you yearn for more.

Self-taught in calligraphy, you hope to get hired by Trader Joe's to do their signage. You are good enough to do it even now. When you address our Christmas card envelopes, it looks like we hired a professional.

Your artistic skills also transfer to hair, makeup, and fashion. You can pull together a not-trying-at-all, perfectly on-trend outfit and effortless, natural makeup in an almost magical way. You had your makeup professionally done once last summer - your own work was better.

I can't possibly write this letter without mentioning photography. You take photos of the sunset almost every night - often running outside in the middle of dinner and stumbling back in breathless, "you've got to see this." Your camera feed is full of flowers, clouds, interesting views of the beauty of the everyday. When you were eight, you desperately wanted to be an astronaut and you remain mesmerized by the sky, the largeness of the world, the miracle of the most fragile dandelion.

You are bold in your relationship with Christ - confident in sharing the Hope of the world with strangers and friends (even the woman who cut your hair at Great Clips). You are "not ashamed of the gospel," knowing that "it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes" (Romans 1:16).

We discovered this year that you're not a fast-paced traveler. You prefer to take things slow. You'd go to California any time of year and spend hours at the beach - glittering in the sunlight, reading a book, splashing in the waves, sipping lemonade out of a glass with a straw. It's not your thing to walk briskly through the city, run from museum to museum, try to see every-possible-attraction, vacation with a schedule. You'd probably rather go to San Diego than Switzerland, Carlsbad than Cambodia - which I'm still trying to wrap my mind around (since I am the opposite - suitcase in hand, wanting to drink up every place I visit, venturing to the farthest inches of the world, checking off every country with a schedule and a dollop of spontaneity mixed in).

You are an encourager, an arguer, a thinker, a writer, a risk taker, a romantic, a friend-maker. You are part Anne Shirley, part Jo March, part Rapunzel from Tangled. Stubborn and quick-tempered, but also intensely determined and oh-so-lovable.

At sixteen, you're still coming into yourself, still a bit too timid to fly in some circumstances. Soon, very soon, you'll spread your wings and soar.

P.S. I realized, after reviewing this last year's photos, that there aren't many photos of you by yourself. You're always with family or friends. :)

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear O, 16 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

Your freshmen year you fell in love. Head over heels. With music.

This wasn't entirely unexpected. After all, you've been dressing up in costumes, dancing, and belting out tunes in microphones since your were a tiny toddler. In 9th grade, however, a light switched on in your soul and you were enchanted. In the spring of 2023, you began taking guitar and voice lessons, which further invigorated your soul. When you walk out of the studio on Wednesday afternoons, it's like you're walking on air.

You spend hours on your bed, guitar in hand, lovely melodies wafting down the hallway. I sometimes listen in and ask, "Who is the artist of this song?" - not knowing that it is YOU.

You also have an uncanny ability to remember lyrics. We'll walk out of a store and you'll say, "I love that song that was playing when we were in aisle four" and proceed to sing full stanzas. Meanwhile, I won't even know music was playing.

If anyone saw you in your element, they would sign you on the spot for a lead in a musical because you have a natural knack for the magic trifecta: singing, acting, and dancing. Bonus: you're absolutely brilliant at accents.

Although you played Caroline Bingley flawlessly in Pride & Prejudice, you were made for a lead role. You have the energy, charisma, and beauty to woo any audience. This worries me a little because of the wiley nature of show business, but I am praying that God will bring you the right opportunities to shine on stage for Christ and for truth soon.

This year, you also dressed up as Marie Antoinette and performed a monologue for the K-6 students at school. With a fan in one hand and an authentic French accent, you played to the crowd and loved every minute.

Speaking of which, you adore young children and often quip that you would babysit for free. You were radiant as a Preschool VBS volunteer - reading stories, singing songs, playing games, and creating a mini entourage of fans in the process.

One other thing from this year. You played both volleyball and basketball. Of the two, you may have liked basketball better, but it's hard to say. I remember being surprised as I watched you fly across the court and defend like you were the tallest person on the court. Tiny, but mighty.

What a joy and an honor it is to watch you grow up into the strong young woman you are.

I love you more than words can express.

- Mom

*2023-24 was the one year I neglected to write letters on each of your birthdays. I wrote this in retrospect, which is why it's not as robust or rich as the preceding and following years.

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear O, 15 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

Someday, probably in the not so distant future, some boy will sweep your off your feet - and he won't know how lucky he'll be.

I'm sure that in the beginning he will note your blonde curls, intelligent eyes, and sweet smile. He is sure to observe the winsome way you speak to people of all ages and your constant kindness to those around you. But the depth and beauty of your spirit goes far beyond first impressions.

Your gentle way of approaching life will make you a wonderful wife, mother, and friend. You consistently put others above yourself - quietly, without pomp or circumstance. You give generously and selflessly - to both strangers and to your family. You are not one of those insidious types that acts one way around people you want to impress and another way at home. Instead, you are remarkably merciful and mature no matter who is watching, acting from a deep, inner conviction. If I could describe you, I would liken you to a light in the darkness - shining without flickering, providing warmth and vision to the people in your presence.

Many people know you for your interest in academics and love of learning. You find joy in solving complex math problems, doing labs to discover the wonder of how things work, and writing stories with great depth and meaning. In fact, you can't quite decide on a college major because you have so many strengths. Math, Neuroscience, Biblical Studies, or Rhetoric --- Which will it be? Time will tell. One thing is certain: you'll do well and rise high no matter what you do.

Although you are currently listing Pre-Med as your track on college applications, being a student of the Word of God is your primary aim. You study your Bible daily without prompting. On many nights, when the lights are out, we hear whispering and find you engaged in a Bible study with your younger sister. Your love for the Lord is apparent in your actions.

In Jane Austen's day, people would have called you "accomplished." Today, they're more likely to use words like "versatile," "successful," and "artistic." Your well-roundedness is something to be admired. You paint beautifully, write masterfully, sing with chorales, dabble in a number of musical instruments, and give inspiring oratories. You are also a wonder in the kitchen, cooking up flavorful and healthy dishes as a self-taught chef. Plus, you can french braid hair, care for babies, decorate for parties, and play the part of a warm hostess to visitors to our home. You do all of these things for the simple and pure love of the task.

Although you are gifted in public speaking and take every opportunity to be on stage, you are not a person of many words. A paradox. You are articulate and eloquent, but simultaneously thoughtful and quiet. As is sometimes the case with introverts and old souls, peers may sometimes mistake you for being snobbish - but that couldn't be further from the truth. You're just intentional with your words - not trivial, coarse, or careless - which is a wonderful trait, don't let people tell you otherwise.

You are unpretentious about your looks, concerned about things of greater consequence. Your bathroom counters are *not* strewn with makeup and hair appliances. You're far more practical (and wise). When it comes to hair, you're more of a "wash and go" kind of girl. When it comes to your clothes, you dress well - but without spending too much energy on superficial things. When it comes to beauty, you realize that it comes from within. You are, again, a paradox in that you would prefer to dress in one of these three categories: (1) at the peak of professionalism, (2) in attire for a ball of yore, or...(3) in hiking shorts & boots. You're never sloppy or immodest (by thoughtful intention), nor are you particularly swayed by current trends. You stay as far away from teenage attire (crocs, crop tops, short shorts, rips and tears, etc) as you possibly can.

Speaking of teenagers, you are weary of the culture of adolescence:

• Text messaging? You'd rather write a letter.
• Social media? No, thank you.
• Slang terms and abbreviations? You stick to proper grammar.
• Consuming current television or the latest fiction fads? Absolutely not.
• Acting air-headed, brash, or flirtatious? Not a chance.
• Posing for pictures with weird filters or hand signs? You'd rather smile regally, with perfect posture, like a princess from abroad.

Remember the movie Princess Diaries where the young heroine must learn manners and charm through a rather painful process? You know all of the rules of decorum already - no academy needed. If a foreign country ever finds itself in need of a new royal leader, you could step in gracefully with very little training.

All of the above sometimes means that you are lonely. Bosom friends are hard to find, but perhaps as Anne of Green Gables discovered, they are not quite as rare as you might think. Loneliness is inevitably part of the Christian life, but my prayer is that God will grant you a few close friends in the coming college years. You're a great friend, by the way - I know because I count your friendship as one of my greatest gifts. You are interesting to talk to and willing to try new things (hiking, pickleball, backpacking, volleyball, tennis, music, theatre, travel, flying airplanes - you'll do it all!).

As you apply to colleges, my prayer is that the admissions team will see what we see - your intellect, your genuineness, your goodness, your capacity for compassion, and your many marvelous talents. If a college wants an alum to spotlight in the future, they would be smart to snatch you up fast.

Happy 17th, K! Keep pressing on and living out 1 Corinthians 15:58, "Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord." We are proud of you and love you to the moon and back.

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear K, 17 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

When I used to have only girls, people would often knowingly smile and tell me how easy I had it. If I only had a boy, they explained, I would understand what it would be like because a boy wouldn't color neatly at the table, would run around like a terror, and would have trouble sitting quietly in church services. Now that I am the mother of a boy, I am baffled by these comments.

Thanks to you, I've come to realize that parenting a young boy is one of the best gifts in the world. You are a smart, witty, and kind gentleman with impeccable manners and delightful conversation skills.

At the dinner table, you sit with perfect posture and amuse us with your anecdotes from the day. You love sharing opinions, asking questions, and listening with grave interest to the various subjects that your older sisters bring up. You are quick to say "thank you for this wonderful meal."

At church, you insist on wearing a blazer or button-up with a dressy sweater. You wouldn't dream of wearing athletic shorts or sweat pants. During the service, you take notes in your best cursive or doodle on the bulletin without ever complaining or fidgeting. In fact, we can take you to any concert or production without blinking. You have perfect theatre etiquette and love to see shows of all kinds. This could have something to do with your love of music. You are entranced by live orchestras and sometimes even joyfully "conduct" from your seat, moving your arms in perfect sync with the rhythm.

As for hobbies, you enjoy any of the activities that boys would have done in bygone years - hiking, camping, splashing in creeks, exploring outdoors, building clubhouses, riding bikes, and taking care of animals. You also love ping pong, road trips, arts and crafts, legos, magna-tiles, die cast cars, and dressing up in costumes (police, fire, detective, cowboy) to defeat a variety of foes.

Some experts say that a first-born son takes on many of the traits of a first-born, even if he is not the oldest. This seems to ring true for you. You and your oldest sister have much in common in that you are a perfectionist (sometimes to a fault) and are meticulous about both cleanliness and organization. In fact, you keep your room in tip-top condition and tidy it regularly, without being asked. When I walk by the bedrooms, yours is inevitably the neatest. (You also enjoy taking hot showers - every other day at the very least - no prompting needed).

Our whole family would agree: you are a bright spot in our house and in our lives. We can't wait to see where God leads you in the coming years.

With love from,

Mom

• 1st grade has been a great year for you! Your teachers are warm and wonderful grandmotherly women, which suits your personality well. Your math skills are still outstanding and your cursive is magnificent.
• When we go to stores that sell flowers, you often ask if we can buy a bouquet.

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear H, 7 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

You were made for prairie life.

You love running around with barefeet, regardless of the surface beneath your toes. In fact, you recently asked why anyone would want to put their feet in "square boxes" (aka shoes). Somehow you don't even flinch when scrambling up trees or hopping across stones, smiling widely without a care in the world.

That is generally how you approach life in general. Can do. Let's try it. Danger, shmanger. You'll ride the tallest, fastest, upside down coasters - twenty times in a row! You'll climb the most precarious boulders and perch at the tip top of tree branches. One of the first things you do every morning is step on your hoverboard and glide around the house with perfect balance - Back to the Future style. When you ride your bike, you sit on the handlebars and show us your latest tricks, then max out the speed down the steepest streets in our neighborhood. You dream of surfing the waves, kicking soccer balls, and tipping volleyballs.

"What sports does she play?" strangers and acquaintances ask when they see your limber limbs, strong muscles, and serious speed. With two older sisters and one younger brother, we haven't had the capacity to enroll you in formal sports. Sixth grade (this upcoming school year) will be your chance though. You'll get to play volleyball (setter is your dream), soccer, and basketball through school for the first time.

Your appetite matches your athleticism. You love nothing more than to sit down at a dinner table with a large main dish and a number of side dishes. Picky is not your style. You will eat almost anything set before you, sampling new dishes like a famous food writer from a sophisticated magazine. We sometimes joke that the way to your heart is through your stomach.

In the summer afternoons and in your free time, you craft and draw for hours, creating imaginative projects with recycled household items - often with grandma as your sidekick. You also love listening to audiobooks, cooking (including chopping fruits and vegetables), caring for animals (including your beloved golden retriever), and spending time with friends. At church, you take meticulous sermon notes with sparky gel pens.

At night, you crawl in bed beside me while I read aloud and then you reluctantly head to your room to read your own book under the covers or share whispers with your sister until late into the night. Somehow a very small amount of sleep doesn't change your cheerful disposition. You've always needed less sleep - even as an infant and then a toddler.

Ever since you were a tiny preschooler, you expressed interest in being a doctor. In fact, we sometimes called you "Dr A Sheaffer" when you were itty bitty. As you've grown up, this ambition has rarely wavered - although you are already weighing the pros and cons of having such a career alongside motherhood. "Can I be a doctor, a writer, and a mother?" you have asked me a number of times, worry in your voice. "Yes," I say thoughtfully, "although perhaps not all at once." You love children and currently say that you want to have between 4 and 6, maybe more. I can picture you with a houseful of little ones. You would be a wonderful mother and my prayer is that God grants you this dream. Motherhood is a magnificent gift.

One thing I admire about you is that you are 0% snobbish or exclusive. You welcome everyone with a genuine smile and your characteristically sweet demeanor. You don't change yourself to fit the audience. You are just you - kind, creative, adventurous, thankful, and humble. Smart too - with A's lining your report card. You'd never call yourself any of those things. You just live them.

Same goes with your appearance. You are the opposite of pretentious or concerned about your looks. And yet you are a perfectly natural beauty. You'll race by in shorts, a t-shirt, and any tennis shoes that help you go the fastest - and look enviously adorable with your friendly green eyes, long blonde curls, and winning smile.

As #3 in the family, you probably sometimes feel forgotten - not the oldest, not the youngest. I was right there with you and I remember what it was like. There are many blessings though of being right in the middle and I pray that God's love will shine brightest for you in the moments when you feel overshadowed. One thing is sure: you are unforgettable, remarkable, not a clone of your sisters - but so wonderfully, beautifully YOU.

Happy Birthday, A - you are so very loved.

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear A, 11 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

You were born at 8:30pm on a mid-March eve two weeks before your official due date. The birth could be described in contrasting terms - it was both fast and furious AND overwhelmingly peaceful. When Tim leaned down to catch you and then passed you tenderly into my arms, I was mesmerized by how perfectly calm and sweet you were. After the tumult of the delivery, you were the gentle result. I've always told people that the transition from one to two children was the easiest. You made it so.

As you grew, you were a spitfire in the best possible way. You were kind and sweet, while also being simultaneously independent and full of gumption. Even as a little girl, you rarely did something just because someone else was doing it. Your interests were all your own. If you liked astronauts or otters or poetry, you didn't wait for the approval of others. You just followed your dreams with gusto.

A natural born leader, you have always been a people magnet - welcoming people in with your smile, your knack for conversation, and your sincere humility. Even now, at fourteen, you make friends everywhere you go. Camps, classes, sports - you almost always jump into the car and say, "I made a friend."

As a rising freshman, you are an A student with a love of learning - but not in a snobbish way. You just really like to learn, to debate, to have logical discussions, to read (stacks and stacks of books!), and to write.

Last year, as an 8th grader, you played every sport offered at your school (volleyball, soccer, and basketball) plus tied for 1st place at the school 5k in your age bracket. You're fast, aggressive, competitive, and determined - which makes you a valuable player on the team. But what makes us most proud is the way you carry yourself on every field and court - calling out encouraging words, running up to high-five and hug friends, and showing concern for injured players - regardless of which team they are on.

Although you love athletics and you give 100% when you play team sports, your favorite hobbies are in the performing arts realm - music, drama, and dance. You sing everywhere - in the car, in your room, in the yard, on the worship team at church, any and every single chance you get. You also love playing the guitar and acting out scenes from favorite novels in full costume. When you performed in The Hobbit this past winter, you were a vision as a lady elf warrior and you loved every single second on stage (your only regret was that there were not more of them).

On top of these many gifts, you are also a gifted artist and calligrapher. You fill sketch pads with carefully completed drawings, which are never quite happy with. When you write notes (something you frequently do), you use calligraphy so lovely that it could land you a job someday. Your school notebooks are filled with drawings, which are too pretty to be called doodles, and colorfully coordinated notes.

Fire and ice. Sugar and spice. With each new day, you are becoming more beautiful and growing in maturity and grace. I know the day is coming soon when you will be "driving a truck and wearing sunglasses" so I am savoring every day.

Happy Birthday, O. You're going places. Today is your day.

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear O, 14 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

How can it be that I just watched you drive away in our Honda Pilot? Blonde curls cascading around your shoulders, you smile and give a wave through the front window.

At sixteen, you are an elegant, accomplished young woman. This year, you are taking piano and oil painting lessons, helping with the children's choir at church, taking a robust schedule of honors courses, serving as a senator in youth & government, and playing setter on your school's volleyball team. You balance all these things while wearing preppy clothes and helping around the house without asking. In fact, you've made dinner for our family every day this week. On the menu? Smoked salmon crepes, glazed citrus pork, chicken gyros, roasted butternut squash, and other such fancy dishes. Somehow you taught yourself to cook -putting in a little bit of this and a little bit of that, seasoning, chopping, and mincing like a pro.

If you had been born in the time of Jane Austen's novels, I have no doubt that the town would have described you as well-bred and delightful.

In many ways, you were meant for another time in history. You cringe at crocs, crop tops, and nose rings. If you could do so without making a scene, you would wear collared shirts, tailored skirts, and dress shoes every single day. Except when you are playing sports, that is.

You are an athlete - setting, serving, and passing with agility and spirit on the volleyball court. This summer, when friends were jumping off cliffs into a lake, you plummeted off the peak alongside them. If you put your mind to something, you do it.

That being said, you are probably most at home in a classroom, a museum, a theatre, an art studio, or a cityscape - preferably with magnificent, old-world architecture at every turn.

"Why did I have to grow up in a time with cell phones?" you recently asked wistfully, rhetorically. "I would have preferred to just be paged, when needed." You text reluctantly and always with proper grammar, adding in emojis under duress.

Another time you asked me, "What do you picture me doing in 20 years?" Here is your answer. Truth be told, I could see you doing many things. You have interest in med school and I could see you going that route - white coat, microscopes, holding a clipboard, having MD behind her signature. Even more, though, I see you as an adoring mother with a well-decorated, light-filled, joy-filled home. I see you with a professional side too, but I'm not sure quite what that will be - authoring children's books, speaking at conferences, drafting blueprints, running your own business, painting portraits? I still can't imagine you without an easel and a studio. My best guess is that you will do something where you create, communicate, and lead - that trifecta is wherein your gifting lies.

When we visited colleges this past summer, you knew exactly what you were looking for...and it certainly wasn't the status quo! You want a college experience where serious joy is evident around campus. You want a place where students act and dress like adults (well-dressed adults) - speaking winsomely, engaging in thoughtful debates, writing math equations on chalkboards, conducting research in state-of-the-art labs, and studying for exams in well-equipped libraries. As for extracurriculars, you cross off any school with an emphasis on rowdy fun (Mud races? Fog-filled concerts? Dorm competitions? Football games with stands of screaming fans? - you'd rather not). You would much prefer a school with honors symposiums, academic lectures, symphony performances, civilized picnics on the lawn, and fall balls. So, college in the 1940s. :)

As an 11th grader, the world is your oyster and you are getting ready to step out into the great, wide somewhere. I'm not ready for it quite yet. My heart already preemptively misses you. That being said, I am immensely proud of you for pursuing excellence in everything and for seeking God first. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I know you will be a sparkling light in the darkness.

With much love and affection,

Mom

The post Dear K, 16 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

I'm so glad we have a boy because I don't think I ever would have known how delightful six-year-old boys can be. I will confess that I perhaps had a somewhat inaccurate perception of little boys. You, however, have dashed them all.

At age six, you are a gentleman. With impeccable manners and polished composure, you could easily be mistaken for a little prince. You greet strangers with a serious gaze and a distinguished nod of the head, hands in your pockets. At the table, you remember to say "please pass the strawberries" and "thank you for this delicious meal." During church services, which you sit through without squirming or talking, you listen dutifully, while writing in a notepad or the week's bulletin.

You are naturally neat and organized. Don't brag about it your sisters, but - shhh - you often keep your room the tidiest. Even as a very small boy, you lined up your cars in rows and wiped your mouth carefully with napkins. You are happiest when things are orderly and aesthetic.

At age five, you biked almost eight miles on The Loop and walked all over Washington DC without complaining. You keep up with your big sisters like a champ and want to go everywhere they go, offended to be left out of any adventure. "When is our next camping trip?" is a question that is often on your lips.

Last year, you were stretched out of your comfort zone in attending a bilingual Christian preschool. You learned so much and came out with academic confidence - counting to 100, recognizing and sounding out all your letters, knowing your right from your left, etc. You've built on that solid foundation and you are reading simple books now, reciting the months of the year and poetry, adding doubles, counting coins, and practicing cursive.

Your favorite things to do are camping, bike riding, and going new places. You love books, trucks, pasta, smoothies, grandma's house, music, live theatre, cheesecake, anything with wheels, and being with your sisters. You do not love being apart from your family. I've been a parent sixteen years now and, although I still have much to learn, I do know that forcing kids to separate isn't necessary or what you "should" do. All kids eventually grow up and spread their wings. Homeschooling this year has been a wonderful decision.

One morning after preschool on a fine May day, you sat quietly looking out the car window the whole ride home. After awhile, you said solemnly, "I wouldn’t want the world to be black and white like an old fashioned movie. I’m glad there are colors and pretty flowers.” That phrase says much about your personality - observant, thoughtful, appreciative of beauty and truth, and with great depth of spirit.

Dearest H, the world would be missing so much without you in it. You are a brave, kind, old soul - and it is a distinct pleasure to watch you grow up.

Love,

Mom

“When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, I was just alive.
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.”
― A.A. Milne, Now We Are Six

The post Dear H, 6 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.

I'd like to be as brave and athletic as you are. You do cartwheels and handsprings flawlessly, grinning after you're right side up. You do fancy (and frightening!) stunts on your bike, riding without hands, sitting up on your handlebars, doing wheelies like nobody's business. You can cross the monkey bars with playground prowess, your muscles flexing. In the pool, you somersault, dive, flip, and go down way down deep. At the school 5k, you run with steady determination, your legs pumping, your heart beating - not in the halfhearted sprint-and-then-walk way of children, but in an I'm-all-in kind of way. "Does she play club sports?" a dad recently asked while watching you kick a soccer ball across a grassy field. You've actually never played formal sports at all (until this past spring when you did a 5-week volleyball season with the YMCA for the first time). You're just amazingly coordinated - and very, very bold. You'll watch someone flying down a mountain on skis, balancing on a surf board, doing stunts on a skateboard, or jumping off hills on a mountain bike - and then turn to us to say, "I want to do that." ATHLETE could be your middle name.

Your favorite class in school this year was violin (you had a wonderful teacher) - but you performed well in all of your classes - Saxon 6/5, Literature & Word Studies, Grammar & Composition, Latin, Art, Science, and History. I especially loved watching you take on extra Amare projects and coming up with creative ideas. For example, you built a treehouse with your great uncle and grandma. For another project, you drew a "longest picture in the world" (Ramona Quimby style). For still another, you dressed up in medieval attire and performed a skit about medical practices in the Middle Ages wherein you made a model and demonstrated blood-letting techniques. This skit was very fitting since you have always (since about age 3!) had the unwavering interest in becoming a doctor.

You have now added "vet" and "writer" to your list of career options - which would also suit you well. After all, you were the sole instigator behind our decision to get a dog and you love to scratch her tummy, chase her around the yard, and take her on camping trips.

Another of your future ambitions is to be a mother and, when asked how many children you might like to have eventually, you usually say a high number - at least 6 - "as long as we can still go on lots of trips." You will be a wonderful, caring mother and I can picture you running around the yard with your kids and then cooking up a big meal for everyone to enjoy around the table.

As far as hobbies are concerned, you love riding your bike (and performing aforementioned scary tricks), spending time with friends, playing board games (you are always looking for willing players), reading books, writing letters to penpals, and going to restaurants. Aside from active pursuits, in fact, you are probably most happy when you have a hearty meal before you. Your favorite foods include steak, masked potatoes, and corn on the cob - but you are not picky and will try almost any new dish. At meals, you are the first to pull out the TableTopics cards to jumpstart conversations and you are constantly begging us to share childhood stories. Someday I will write them down for you.

As you enter double digits, I hope you know how remarkable you are - how you are "God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for you to do" (Ephesians 2:10). Your dad and I are so very proud of the young woman you are becoming.

With love always,

Mom

NOTES

• FAVORITE COLORS: Mint and Turquoise

* I write letters to each of my children on their birthdays so that they will remember and I won’t forget. As Sheldon Vanauken so aptly put it, “Writing has something of the timeless about it – a breath of eternity.” 

The post Dear A, 10 Years Old appeared first on Stephanie Sheaffer - Writer.