Stephopolis

Prelude to a Recount

2011-10-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

I've officially been back from my Mediterranean sojourn for little over a week and already my tan is only an echo of its formal burnished glory. The damp and chilly west coast autumn has truly restored me back to my whitewashed glory. I expected this to happen, but I thought I would at least retain enough color to last me until November. Sadly, though, what remains of my vacation cannot be found through increased melanin, but through memories and pictures. And, lucky for you, dear readers, I have a bounty of both!

Over the next few days and weeks, I hope to recount and recall all 18 days of my vacation. From the breathtaking ports of call to the return flight from hell, you'll read it all. And I have plenty of pictures to supplement my stories....possibly too many pictures. I'll do my best to adopt some level of editorial oversight, as I fully admit going a little overboard with the camera (this comes after about 12 identical pictures of the same architectural structure....)

This post is just an introduction, so I thought I'd recount the places we traveled to before coming home to BC.

Barcelona
Monte Carlo
Florence (and Pisa!)
Rome & The Vatican
Sorrento & Pompeii
Mykonos
Kusadasi
Istanbul
Athens
Venice

I do have to say that I'm glad we traveled (and returned) when we did. Seeing the stories about violent protests and clashes all over Italy and Greece in response to the austerity measures makes me very thankful that we never encountered anything of that magnitude while we were abroad. All of our tour guides made a point of sharing their perspectives of the debt crisis situation and it was interesting to hear their thoughts, but at the time of our visit, the societal attitude was more disgruntled than outright irate.

And I firmly believe in the power of protests, as long as they stay non-violent. Once violence starts to erupt and endanger innocent bystanders, that's when fighting for the cause turns into plain old fighting and any good is eroded by pain, fear and anger.

Words To Live By

2011-08-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

The news of Jack Layton's passing hit me harder than I expected. The weather which, a day ago, had been in full blue-skyed summer mode, took a turn for the dreary and stormy - an appropriate foil for the somber news stories that detailed Jack's swift fall to cancer.

Even though I never really sided with Jack's politics, I couldn't help but admire his passion, tenacity and enduring spirit. When his "Orange Crush" - his tidal wave of supporters carried him to an unprecedented victory in the last election, his elation was contagious.

When he last appeared in public, looking like a shadow of his former self - gaunt and strikingly skeletal, everyone knew that cancer, once again, was taking its toll. It seemed unfair - to beat one cancer only to fall victim to another. But still, he fought. He promised only a brief hiatus before returning to the political forum, but the pain behind his brave words was evident.

He knew that his time on this earth was limited, but still he remained unswervingly dedicated to his people - to his Canada. Even when cancer's shadow loomed large, he put the fear and pain and anger aside and wrote this beautiful and haunting letter.

I read that letter yesterday, curled up on the couch, and I could not stop the tears. The last few lines, now oft-quoted, truly resonated within me:

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."

Those are words to live by. Written by a man who knew that his time was running short. The words are simple, but the idea behind them is monumental.

In a time when sorrow and hatred and anger dominate the landscape, these words are a touchstone, a reminder and a call to arms. Those words speak volumes and I hope that we're all ready to listen.

RIP Jack.

Finders Keepers

2011-08-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

I think the Universe is trying to tell me something.

My blog saved me a $50 replacement fee and saved me a ton of beaurocratic hassle.

It was a case of a lost object (my work pass) and a worried owner (me) being reunited by the powers of social media. After fussing with bags and ipods and a kindle, I inadvertently knocked my work pass off its spot on my belt loops and onto the cold, unforgiving sidewalk in downtown Vancouver. I realized its absence only when I was on the train, zooming towards the suburbs and was gearing up for the annoying task of paying for a new one.

When I got around to opening my laptop (after dinner and some cat harassment), there was an email from a kind soul who:

1) found my work pass on the sidewalk
2) looked me up on LinkedIn
3) found my blog linked to my profile
4) found my contact information in my blog
5) sent me an email about my work pass

We're meeting at waterfront station after work today, 24 hours from when the pass first slipped from my possession.

If it wasn't for my linked in profile and my blog, it would have been a much more arduous process to get my pass back, and I might have never connected with this individual at all!

So, thank you blog, for being a Finder of Lost Things.

Maybe you can also become a Finder of Lost Words.

Now that my mojo is back at work, I'm looking to reclaim that creativity for all of the side projects I have on the go. From the novel I'm halfway through, to the poems that keep ratting around my brain, I'm hoping that simply by getting into the practice of writing for the sake of writing, I'll lose the fear of failure and of rejection.

Hello Again...

2011-08-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

Holy Cats. It's been a long, long time since I've updated Stephopolis....

I have a valid excuse for the extensive gap between posts - for half of April and all of May I was stuck in, what can be affectionately termed, "Emo Sweatpants Land". I was too buys embracing the perks of my "enforced employment sabbatical" (ie: daytime television), to think about blogging or any kind of writing that didn't start with the words "To Whom It May Concern - I am SUPER INTERESTED in working for THIS COMPANY in the position of THIS PARTICULAR JOB..."

My ennui was not helped when Adam went up north for work. Being left to my own devices with no outside motivating factors (like a paycheque), meant that I lapsed into the comfortable existence of a hermit. I spent a lot of time talking to my cats, but (thankfully), they never actually answered back.

And time was a funny thing. It seemed to crawl into foreverness and the days blurred together. With the burden of alarm clocks and work weeks no longer in consideration, it was distressingly easy to lose an entire day pouring over dubious job applications until, one blink later, the sun was down and it was evening.

In the grand scheme of things, my period of idleness was only 1.5 months. But it left a burning, lasting impact on me that still ghosts around me, even when I'm hard at work being a productive member of society. Sometime, when I'm focusing on the intricacies of a website page or trying to master the wording of a particularly prickly memo, a small voice will say "You can't do it. You aren't good/smart/capable enough."

And then I crumble a little bit inside.

I'm trying to convince the voice that knows that I can do it - the voice that understands that I am creative and intelligent and respected to speak up louder and drown out that insidious other voice.

Everyone tells me that what I went through was a necessary evil - an important, but ultimately treacherous, rung on that ever important career ladder.

And I understand what they're saying. But it doesn't make the hurt/insecurity/fear/anger disappear. It's still there, but I can only hope that, one day, I'll truly be able to look back at that 5 month period and think about how very far I've come.

Anyway, that was a long, convoluted way of saying that I'm trying to re-enter the world of blogging, because I feel that I lost my voice and it's about time that I find it again.

More writerly progress!

2011-03-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

It appears that my brain is more than happy to indulge in some creative writing after slogging through 125 page government RFP documents.

Word Count: 2543
Total Words: 8044
Reason for Stopping: Pulled away for work editing

Some writerly progress

2011-03-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, the novel is still coming along. I had some downtime at work yesterday, so I poked away at it.

Word Count: 1290
Total Words: 5501
Reason for Stopping: I had to get back to my real job

Happy Lupercalia!

2011-02-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

This entry is prompted by mom (hi mom!) calling and saying "What does your facebook status mean?"

The status is question reads like this "Happy Lupercalia!"

Amid a sea of "Happy Valentine's Day" status updates, could I really be the lone person celebrating the ancient Roman festival of fertility and fecundity?

It would appear so!

It's so rare that I get to flex my Classics muscle, that I secretly revel in the opportunity to spout off about Roman festivals or Greek muses or the in's and out's (literally) of the ancient pantheons.

Surprisingly, I don't get to use this knowledge much in my day-to-day existence. Sad, sad.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather pay homage to a frenetic fertility right consisting of half naked men, goat skin and screaming women than a Hallmark holiday.

Hmm. Overpriced chocolate or some down and dirty sacrificing? Tough choice.

If I were single and ready to mingle, I would swoon forever if a suitor came up to me and was like "You know what? Let's skip Valentine's Day this year. Instead, let's go prance around hitting people with goat pieces".

Be still my heart.

Word count - keep on trucking

2011-01-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

Word Count: 1,375
Total Words: 3, 413
Reason for Stopping: My brain meats are calling for surrender

Word Count - First Progress Post

2011-01-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

Hello readers! I decided that today was the perfect day to embark upon my novel writing journey.

Armed with tea, cats, a blanket, a laptop and an idea, I wrote and let the words flow for a few hours. I stopped where it felt natural and I'm quite happy with how my first draft is shaping up.

I've decided to record my process in this blog, including word count for the day, total word count and other points of interest along the way.

This should help keep me accountable and it will be interesting for me to chart my journey!

So here's the first (of hopefully many) progress posts:

Word Count: 2,026
Total Words: 2,026
Reason For Stopping: hunger pangs + natural breaking point = no more words!

Worditius

2011-01-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

Y Hello Thar, Blog.

I have a terrible case of the ironies.

Ever since I started my job as a ~Communicator~, I've been suffering from a paralyzing case of writer's block. Now that I'm actually being paid to put pen to paper, I'm living in constant fear of my words not being good enough.

I have to resist the urge to pick big, fancy million dollar words for everything.

For example, here is the sentence I will originally write:

"The red dog chased the black cat around a tree"

And then my brain will be like NO THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. USE BETTER WORDS.

So then I'll freak out and change the sentence to:

"The vermilion canine engaged in a spirited jaunt with the ebony feline in circumferential motion around an arboreal specimen"

And then I'll be like Oh! And then I should make it 38 font and red to make it more ~jazzy~

And then I will be lost in a muddle of ridiculous fonts for the entire afternoon.

Let's just ignore the fact that I probably shouldn't be writing about animals at work.

I'm trying to re-remember everything I tried to forget about writing in a plain language context. Apparently, under duress, my brain wants to overload on adjectives.

So my goal for 2011 is to convince the hamster that resides in my brain to slow down for a few laps. I'm a chronic over-thinker, and I need to learn to stop over-analyzing everything, including my communication skills.

And I'm hoping that my attempts to relax will re-set my internal thesaurus and that I will stop trying to substitute inappropriately florid words where they don't belong.

I will, instead, save the fancy verbage for where it belongs - facebook status updates.

Fa la la la fail.

2010-12-18T18:42:00.000-08:00

I went shopping. On a Saturday. A week before Christmas.

I braved the insane, pre-Christmas hordes, didn't develop an eye twitch, and didn't have to give anyone the People's Elbow. I consider that a success.

I survived, but I cannot say the same thing about my bank account.

I started off looking the picture of frugality. Spending time hemming and hawing and comparing prices. But as the day progressed, I fell prey to impulse purchasing, that cruel mistress.

I knew I was near the end of my sanity when I was giving serious consideration to a gadget designed to help coax toothpaste out of the tube. I had nearly convinced myself that every single member of my immediate and not-so-immediate family would die without one of these devices. I literally stared at the "Tube Squeezer" for almost 10 minutes before I managed to walk away from it.

That's not to say that I didn't impulse purchase other things, but I feel that avoiding the "Tube Squeezer" was a small triumph.

I don't understand how people can cavort around so joyfully while pre-Christmas shopping. The moment I entered the mall, I set my eyes to "EPIC GLARE" mode and stopped around with extreme purpose. I kept finding myself stuck behind shambling individuals who seemed to serve no purpose but to walk in front of me and stop abruptly. I started wishing for zombies to come in and cull some of the herd.

And when I start wishing for zombies, that's when I know I've reached my limit. Unfortunately, the zombie fantasies started about 20 minutes in to what turned into a 3 hour foray.

By the time I left, madly clutching several 4324 pound bags, all I wanted to do was go home and de-stress.

But I lost my car.

For those of you who don't know, I have the direction sense of a blind mollusk. I get turned around getting in and out of elevators. It's bad.

And because I came out of the mall from a different door and I stood, bewildered, in the rain, trying desperately to find my vehicle.

I wandered around the giant parking lot like a crazy person, clutching my car opener and emitting high pitched, worried noises.

It took me about half an hour of fruitless, rain-drenched parking lot stalking before I finally found my car. By that time, I had lost all feeling in both arms. Joy.

I made it home with no further incident and I'm happy to report that I managed to wrap all of the presents without giving myself a debilitating paper cut.

Tis the season.

1-2 Step (give or take a few)

2010-11-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have to be honest here. I'm blatantly stealing this idea from another blog. I just thought I'd get that out there in case some of you were labouring under the delusion that this thought was from my own brain.

Now that my awkward disclaimer is out of the way, I'm making a list, and checking it twice (if you don't have that Christmas song in your head right now, you're a stronger person than me).

I'm turning 30 in a few (8) months and I'm going to make a list of 15 things I want to accomplish before I turn 30.

Why?

Because I like lists
Because I feel I should accomplish something concrete before the big 3-0
Because I want to.

So there.

Sorry. A brief moment of petulance. I'm over it.

Here's the list! I'm also taking suggestions.

If you've always wanted to live vicariously through me, here's your opportunity!

You make a suggestion, and I'll add it to the list. Really. I will.

(small disclaimer: I won't add anything illegal, immoral, harmful or anything that's likely to get me smacked around by karma).

Everything else is fair game and I'll endeavor to accomplish it. I'm a people pleaser, that's what I do.

So here's my list as it stands now. I plan on updating Stephopolis when I start and/or finish something on the list, and I'll keep referring back to this particular posting so I can ~~strike through~~ things I've completed. God I love strike through. It's so validating.

Start and finish a full writing project. (This could be a novel, novella, short story, poem collection, etc. Submit aforementioned writing project to a publisher. It doesn't matter if I get any bites, what matters is the submission. But, you know, I wouldn't say no to a publishing deal either.)
Start and finish my PLAR portfolio for my degree
Run on a regular basis and complete at least one 5k race with a respectable finish time
Find a viable yoga studio and attend class regularly
Make good use of the time I have with my IABC mentor
Attend more IABC events and networking sessions
Learn to crochet. Properly.
Learn to cook. Properly. (This means mastering more than three recipes in the kitchen)
Make a decent dent in both my book list and this, more classic, book list .(There is a reason that I received a Amazon gift card when I departed my last job.)
Write, write, write, write. Just write. (This might seem similar to the first item on my list, but I'm talking about getting into the habit of forming the words.)
Take more pictures and capture more memories.
Learn how to meditate and harness negative thoughts before they get out of control.
Actually use the swimming pool in my complex. Drag Adam along.
Finalize second tattoo idea and get it done.
Stop biting my nails. For realsies.

I stopped at 15 just in case this becomes wildly interactive and I receive 3284 suggestions. I didn't want to start with an uncontrollable list.

I like being able to see these in a list. Having them all organized and numerically ordered gives everything a sense of purpose

(Don't tell my dad I used the words "organized" and "numerically ordered". He'll become insufferable)

Annoyance breeds a numbered list

2010-11-18T19:04:00.000-08:00

Because I'm cranky..

Because I need to fill my blog quota for the month

And because I'm sitting here icing the ankle that I keep spraining...

Here is a list:

Things that (Ir)rationally Annoy Me

1. People who keep their wiper blades going SUPER FAST even after the rain has tapered off. Stop it. Your blades are making that irritating EEEeEeEEeee noise. I'm not even in the car with you, but I'm still annoyed.

2. The fact that my eyes are 5000 times bigger than my stomach. I came home and ate about 20 pounds of stirfry because my eyes were like OOH YOU TOTALLY CAN FIT ALL OF THAT IN YOUR STOMACH. And now I feel like Jabba the Hut

3. My own lack of spatial awareness. I probably shouldn't lose my sense of direction during the duration of a 1 minute elevator ride. And yet, every time I get out of an elevator, I stumble the wrong direction for several minutes before going through a tedious course correction.

4. Purse dogs. As a rule, if it barks, it should not fit in your handbag. Your pet is a genetic freak show made up of chromosomal anomalies. It's not cute. It's a crime against nature and you should feel bad.

5. Jeggings. Just..what the hell. Jeans are jeans. Leggings are leggings. And never the two shall meet. Also, they make everyone look stupid.

6. Mouth breathers. Close your mouth. Breathe through your nose. It should not be this hard, people. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH. I don't want to listen to you wheeze from across the room. It's gross.

7. Really loud commercials. Thanks to the glory of my PVR, I rarely actually have to watch commercials, but every so often I watch tv "live" and I'm always startled when the show stops and the commercials are like 80 billion times louder than they need to be. Seriously. Having children screech at me about toilet paper is not going to make me buy it. Be quiet.

8. Bad puns. CSI, I'm looking at you. It's not clever when a character picks up an iron, references it as the murder weapon, makes eye contact with the camera and says "She must have been.....STEAMED". NOooooo. No.

9. Cilantro. It tastes like soap and fail and is a shameful herb.

Because I'm feeling ornery, you don't get a number 10. So the list is going to stay forever uneven and incomplete. So there.

Except I'll probably get super antsy that there's only 9 things on the list and sneak back later to add number 10...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2010-11-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord. It's been approximately forever since I've updated my blog. And I'm tired of being out blogged by my husband, so I thought that I'd better up the post count in Stephopolis...

So the reason for my extended absence? A few things. Let's make a fun list!

1. School - For the past few months I've been focusing on completing my latest course ("Motivation and Productivity", for those of you who are interested. And, yes, it really was just as enthralling as it sounds). I wrote a particularly tedious final exam in October and, despite the fact that the online test was fraught with technological issues, I passed with decent marks. The completion of this course puts me that much closer to getting my Bachelor of Professional Arts in Communications.

2. Family - For the last week of October, Chez Bitchardson played host to Adam's mom and dad. They came out to get a sense of what a British Columbia autumn has to offer and to experience the insanity of Halloween in our neighbourhood.

We consistently have over 150 kids and go through several Costco-sized bags of candy. I swear, parents from all over the lower mainland must bus their wee goblins to our townhouse complex, because there's no way there are that many kids living around here.

3. Work. This category is the biggest reason for why this blog has been collecting dust.

For some time, I've felt like a change was in order in my professional life. Work was becoming stagnant and staid, and I wanted more of a challenge.

I also wanted something more aligned with my professional interests, namely Communications.

After testing the waters and putting some feelers out, an opportunity presented itself. After jumping through several hoops, including three interviews and a written assignment, I was offered the position of Communications Specialist.

And while this might seem like a straightforward decision, I actually agonized for quite a long time on the pros and cons and ups and downs of this particular choice.

Why? Because the timing could not have been worse for my current workplace. In the middle of my interview process, two other teammates announced their resignations. And by accepting the position, I would be the third person to leave in just as many months.

And, being the team and people oriented person that I am, the prospect of leaving my team in that non-enviable position gave me pangs of anxiety.

But, thanks to a lovely and supportive group of family and friends, I slowly realized that throwing away an opportunity for "the greater good" would be foolish. They collectively helped give me perspective and lifted the veil of guilt that was clouding my eyes. And I am forever thankful and grateful for every person who listened to me talk myself around in circle and who then carefully guided me to the decision I knew I was going to make all along.

So, I made my choice, negotiated like a champion, and gave my notice. And now, I leave the comfort and familiarity of my old workplace near the end of November and immediately start my new job. Lots of people think I'm crazy for not taking a break in between, but I know that if I take time off, I'll just spend the whole time thinking anxious little thoughts and driving myself crazy with "what if" statements.

So now is the time of tying up loose ends and of succession planning and legacy leaving. And, while I'm torn up about leaving some of the amazing people I've met and worked with, I'm excited by what's on the horizon. I'm eager to cut my teeth as a Communications professional and I know I'm going to get a thrill when I get to put "Communications Specialist" on my new business cards.

So, yes, all of this explains why I've neglected my blog. But, seeing as I'm going to work in the field of Communications, I figure I should maybe start communicating more often.

Which probably means I should update my blog more than once in a blue moon. Ahem.

So, expect to hear more from me!

Turning 29 or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Moment

2010-09-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

So, I'm officially one year from 30. One year away from being halfway to 60. And I think I found my first grey hair. But I quickly buried it beneath my other hair, as to keep it from glinting under the harsh overhead lighting.

Honestly, I don't feel much different. I look at myself in the mirror and still see myself as a high school student, as a university student, and as someone still in their early 20s. I haven't quite acknowledged that I'm supposed to be an adult.

I mean, I go to work, Monday to Friday, and work a responsible job, just like a grown up, but I often don't feel like I really belong in that world.

Part of it is my constant, forever longing to go back to school. Nothing would make me happier than to be a full time student, fully engaged in learning and challenging my brain.

The one way that I know I'm growing up is that the "worry wrinkle" in my forehead is constantly engaged. I worry about money, about my future, about my loved ones, etc. I have a laundry list of things that concern me, and these are things that I didn't really give much thought to earlier in my life.

I try to live more in the moment, but I seem to be firmly entrenched in my own future, thinking and thinking and spending so much energy on wondering how things will turn out, that I forget to pay attention to the way things are now.

I'm trying, as part of my "29th year resolution", to centre myself more. To be more present and to stop either dwelling in the past, or fixating on the future. I'm going to try and just....be.

I'm sure my limited brain space could be better used. For instance, I have several novels half started, but none put to paper. And that needs to change. And the only way for me to really tap into my creative potential, is to stop worrying.

That's way easier said than done, as worrying has become a habit, and habits are hard to break (just ask me how many times I've failed to stop biting my nails...)

But I really want to stop spending time fixating on things I either cannot change or that are beyond my immediate control. These things aren't worth the prime real estate they're taking up in my brain.

Instead, I want to channel all that nervous energy into writing. If I was half as productive at writing as I am at worrying, I'd be a best selling author by now.

So that's what this 29th year will be. It will be a year of learning how to stop worrying and live in the present. It will be a year of re-directing my energy and a year of living in the moment.

And if my 29th year also turns into the year that I write my novel and find my path, then I'm not complaining.

But I'm not going to worry about it.

Surprise!

2010-09-13T09:48:00.001-07:00

Eeep. It's been a good long while since I've last blogged (sorry mom!), so I thought I would remedy that situation this morning.

Please excuse any tangential ramblings and other nonsense - I'm functioning at about 67% capacity right now, due to lack of sleep.

But, that lack of sleep was for a good reason.

Adam and I traveled "overseas" to Victoria on Saturday and returned early (VERY EARLY) Sunday morning.

Why the short trip? We went to surprise my mom and help her celebrate her birthday in style.

Dad first approached me with this idea one hot day in July when I was visiting Nanoose Bay. I believe I was basking in the early morning sun like a lizard when he approached, all sly-like.

He told me that this birthday was a big one for mom and he told me, very earnestly, that he wanted to make this year's celebration truly memorable.

As I've hinted to before, my family has been braving some figurative storms for a while now, and dad told me that he wanted this trip to be a nice and welcome distraction for the whole family. He wanted us to concentrate on love and family and togetherness, and not on the negatives that have been at the forefront for far too long.

And, so, as the months progressed in their steady march towards the fall, dad's plans began to take shape.

He planned a trip to Victoria for himself and mom, including reservations for dinner at a very chic restaurant and an overnight stay in a beautiful hotel suite.

He also arranged animal care for the dog and cat - all behind mom's back.

Meanwhile, as the day approached, Mike, Adam and I all fostered and perfected our excuses as to what we were doing that weekend. We figured that if the three of us invented complicated weekend plans, mom would be less suspicious that we had anything to do with dad's master plan.

Dad broke the news that mom and he would be going on a trip on her actual birthday (September 7). He gave her no more hints and I did my part by feigning surprise when mom called to tell me about dad's plan.

I talked to her on the eve of the surprise weekend and put my theatre degree to work.

"Do you know where you're going yet?" I asked mom, trying to gauge if she was cluing in to anything.

She responded in the negative and then asked what I was doing this weekend.

"Oh", I said, putting a tinge of sorrow and weariness into my voice, "I have to work. I have to go to Chilliwack and put on an investor education seminar". I think I played things up by sighing loudly at this point.

I then went on to weave my tragic tale about having to figure out directions to the Chilliwack Rotary club and having to do the presentation myself and telling mom that I was nervous, etc.

Adam was on the chair next to me smirking quite distractedly.

Truly, it was an award winning bit of lying.

And, with that, I told mom to have a good time and to call on Sunday and give me all the details about the trip.

I must admit that I was excited to hear that dad planned to take mom to Victoria. I love Victoria and will pretty much come up with any excuse to wander around that city.

I'm not sure if I would have been able to muster the same kind of enthusiasm if dad had been like "Hey! I'm surprising your mom with a trip to Winnipeg."

Victoria is my heart city. It lives in me and I feel more at home there than I do in Vancouver. I was proposed to there, I was married there, I have lived there and I hope to live there again in the not so distant future. But until then, I have to content myself with small trips to get my fill.

So Adam and I took off on a morning ferry and met up with a friend for lunch. After that, we drove leisurely through the different neighbourhoods of the city and basically reiterated to each other our great love for Victoria.

We stayed at the James Bay Inn, a purportedly haunted establishment that will be celebrating its centennial next year. I think I should demand a refund, as we didn't experience any other worldly visits that night. Not even any suspicious noises! It was a perfectly corporeal room.

We retired to our hotel room after lunch for a brief rest, where I subjected Adam to approximately an hour of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" television show. As evening drew closer we got ready to go and meet my parents and brother at Vista 18 atop the Chateau Victoria hotel.

The plan was that Mike, Adam and I would be at the table at 6:45 and be waiting there for when dad and mom arrived for their 7:00 reservation. There was a kink in these plans, as the table wasn't actually ready until well after 7:15. So we ended up surprising mom in the lobby of the restaurant, right near the elevators! But it still had the desired effect.

We all sat down in the bar area and our table was finally ready. But not before mom had made friends with approximately everyone in the restaurant. I think as she ages, mom just gets friendlier and friendlier. Next year, I'll probably have to keep her from giving out random hugs to strangers.

The meal was...amazing. We stuffed ourselves on fantastic food and mom peer pressured me into having two cocktails. Steph + cocktails = loud, inappropriate laughing.

After dinner, I gave mom her gifts. I had two wedding pictures printed out and framed. One of Adam and I (see below) and one of Mike and I. I also wrote her a wee poem.

As dinner wound down, I looked around and was struck by the realization that I was so lucky. Lucky to have such a wonderful family. Our family may be small, but we make up for it with the size of our hearts. I feel so safe with my family because I know that I'm kept buoyant by their love and support.

I wanted to crystallize that moment and hold it close to me forever, because it was just so indicative of the kindness that we all feel for one another. And how we could pull off this amazing present for mom, despite dealing with setbacks that might have pulled apart a lesser family.

I'm truly blessed to be part of the Butler clan.

Happy birthday, mom. I love you.

Knock, knock....

2010-08-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, readers, I really have THINGS TO SAY about many subjects, but I think I'll stick with discussing my slightly awkward and tenuously inappropriate social behaviors while in the workplace.

For some reason, I trend towards being the "class clown" at work. At any work. It's strange. Not that it's strange because I'm lacking in humor. On the contrary. I find myself quite amusing and I know that my cats appreciate my jokes and impeccable comedic timing.

But at work....something happens.

It's like the transformation between Bruce Banner and the Incredible Hulk (+1 for Geek Reference). I'll be going about my daily routine and suddenly have this irresistible urge to free style rap. Or to come up with ridiculous (and awesome) nicknames for my co-workers. Or to engage in a one-woman version of charades.

So instead of turning green and rending my clothing, I just collapse my brain/mouth filter and revel in the humorous results.

It's really quite unstoppable.

It's a good thing I work with a pretty relaxed and laid back team. Otherwise I'm pretty sure I would spend more time up in human resources than at my own desk.

The extent of my at-work shenanigans really hit home when I was reminiscing with another co-worker.

Me: Hey, remember the other day when I was wildly inappropriate at work, but it had hilarious consequences?
Them: Oh, you mean when you were re-enacting how to use a plunger when the executive director walked by?
Me: ...no
Them: The time that you talked really loudly about hot dog eating contests?
Me: ...no
Them: When you did that impression of your husband and ended up spilling tea all over the place?
Me:....no
Them: Steph, there are just too many instances of you being inappropriate. I can't narrow them down.

So then I called her a euphemism for "lady of the night" and went on my way.

Most days, I manage to hold on to the slippery slope of professionalism at least until the afternoon (or until I've ingested enough caffeine - whichever comes first), and then all bets are off.

And this isn't even touching the expounded ridiculousness that happens when I start drinking around my co-workers.

Good lord. That's when the small part of my brain that keeps my ~secrets~ gets unlocked and I say all the things that no one should really ever say.

But I think I must just be so adorable that I'm forgiven, even when I'm drunkenly professing my undying love to peach schnapps and laughing like a manic hyena.

I think it's a good personality trait to have, this ability to find humor and to make other people laugh. But it's possible that I might have to start being more sensible about when I start talking about why "T-Bone" is a perfectly good nickname for a co-worker. And I should probably stop telling people that I'll fire them if they don't bring me food.

But if people would only bring me cookies of their own volition, we wouldn't have this problem.

Uh oh. I'm up to 2 cups of tea and it's only 9:30. I sense an early start for Hulk-like hilarity today.

Batten down the hatches, we're headed for a humor tsunami!

Too Hot For A Clever Title....

2010-08-14T10:43:00.001-07:00

You guys. YOU GUYS.

I am so hot. And I mean that in the literal "I sweat when I move" kind of way, not in the "check out my nice bum" kind of way.

Not that I don't have a nice bum, because I really do.

But right now the urge to lie prone under a fan trumps my need to do anything else.

I have basically lost the urge to eat. And if you know me, you know that food and I have a very special relationship. As in, I eat it and it repays the kindness by giving me love handles.

And I can't even partake in my second favorite past time, which is engaging my cats in "gentle harassment" (ie: chasing them around the townhouse and talking to them in a high pitched voice).

I can't do this because both of my cats have melted and have formed feline-shaped puddles on my floor.

I was going to spend some time blogging about my propensity to be the class clown at work and how this is likely to land me up in HR, but I'm simply too hot to engage my brain meats.

So you will all just have to wait to hear the story of "Steph and the Awkward Silence", which will be coming when I don't feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust.

Ugh.

I am very much looking forward to autumn.

Das Ist Gut

2010-08-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

Ok then.

I just (read: yesterday) got back from a wondrous trip to N-Bay, which spanned from Thursday evening until Monday afternoon.

The purpose of my visit was threefold:

1. To visit with my family (including my aunt Ingrid from Germany)
2. To eat lots of food
3. To attend a bonafide N-Bay party, hosted by my parents.

I definitely accomplished all three objectives. And the state of my pants today is making me think that I maybe over achieved on objective number two.

It's hard being so ambitious, I tell you.

The visiting of the family was great. I hadn't seen Ingrid for many years, so when she came to N-Bay my family took the opportunity to catch her up to all the recent happenings (translation: force her to look at 8343989038 of my wedding photos).

My aunt's presence also helped me achieve objectives two and three. In other words, Ingrid was a catalyst for my increased carbohydrate intake over the weekend.

I have to say that I'm quite suspicious of the German drinking water. Ingrid simply does. not. age. It's quite eerie. I'd like to conduct an experiment to see if everyone in Germany remains in a constant form of stasis or if my aunt is just lucky. If anyone would like to help me conduct this important "research", send me an email and I'll tell you where to deposit the funds.

And Ingrid does not just look young. As my dad remarked on Monday morning when Ingrid was flitting around the kitchen, "You don't act like a regular granny". And it's true. For a mother of two, grandmother of five, Ingrid seems to have boundless stores of both enthusiasm and impishness.

Ingrid is definitely not one to sit quietly in the corner and call everyone "Dear". Well, I think she called me "Dear", but she was probably busy giving me a noogie at the same time.

Ingrid is like a bundle of effervescence, personality and happiness all wrapped up in one exuberant package.

And it's wonderful to see her and my dad interact. They've maintained a tight sibling bond across oceans and I know my dad just delights in her presence. They have an easy familiarity that's so nice to observe.

I have the same kind of relationship with my own brother and I hope that our closeness will grow and intensify over time.

(I apologize in advance, because this entry is all over the place. I blame the 23 cups of tea I've had today)

The N-Bay party is a phenomenon unlike any other. It's like a neighbourhood get-together on steroids.

I think, when the party was in full swing, just over 55 people were chattering away on the balcony of my parent's house.

After eating my fill of the appetizers spread all over the house, I managed to flit my way through several conversational clusters.

Here are some of the things I talked about that evening:

1. Cats
2. Fishing
3. Growing tobacco
4. Hash brownies

Good times, good times.

The party this weekend made me think about my own neighbourhood and how, in some ways, we really don't fit the demographic of the area. We don't have kids and we don't have dogs.

What does everyone talk about? Kids and dogs.

I think I tried, once, to assimilate and talk about my cats and I was met with blank, uncomprehending stares.

It went something like this:

Them: Blah blah dogs and blah kids and haha blah kids!
Me: Sometimes, my giant striped cat rolls over on his back and I pet his belly.
Them: ....
Me: That's kind of dog-like behaviour!
Them:...
Me:...

FIN

After that one awkward interjection, I mostly keep to myself. I'm friendly and I don't actively throw rocks at any children (although I've been tempted...), but I don't make much of a concerted effort to interact on any meaningful level.

So, here is what we've learned from this post:

1. I like food (a lot)
2. I like Ingrid (a lot)
3. I've talked about hash brownies with a bunch of oldies
4. I am a bit of a neighbourhood hermit

PS: Ingrid, dad and I also went to Jedediah Island this weekend. On the way back, we checked our crab and prawn traps and actually caught stuff!

And I got over my fear of eating things that look the same dead as they did in life (ie: all manner of crustaceans).

The Sojourn to Sunshine

2010-07-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

Oh my. Did we ever have a vacation saga. Our five day sojourn to the Sunshine Coast was like the Odyssey. I'm in talks with Homer right now to see if he's willing to translate our story into dactylic hexameters.

For ease of reading, I'll break the tale into sections.

Day 1

We began our journey bright eyed and eager to see the famed Sunshine Coast. Having lived in BC for over five years, we were slightly ashamed of the fact that we had never once rode the 40 minute ferry to Langdale. We decided to remedy this sad fact and go camping all in the same trip! We are nothing if not efficient.

Here's some foreshadowing for you: the ferry right was the highlight of the first day.

We reserved a camp site at a place called "Bayside", which sounds quite pleasant and unassuming. It should have been called "Bayside: Camping Purgatory".

We had trepidations from the outset. We followed a convoy of big rigs down to the campsite and started to notice that Bayside was suspiciously close to:

a) an industrial truck site
b) a landfill

Huh.

But! It was our first day of vacation and we were still optimistic. We drove around the campsite several times, trying to muster some enthusiasm for the place and we managed to convince ourselves that the truck noises and horrible traffic noise would stop in the evening (foreshadowing: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA).

We went to the campsite office and confirmed our reservation. When the lady in the office asked if we were sure we wanted to pay for all four nights in advance, we should have taken it as a sign. Instead, we smiled through our doubts, and paid up.

And then we set up camp.

While we (ie: Adam) were setting up the camp, we stopped grumbling at the industrial noises long enough to admire the fact that the majority of the tenting sites were empty. At least we had some space to ourselves! (foreshadowing: Not for long...)

After the site was set up, we found ourselves a nice beach and played frisbee. It's a little known fact, but I'm a pretty damn fierce frisbee champion.

So, after some frisbee and some ocean swimming, we were all "la la la, camping is great!1" and we skipped back (down the scary industrial road) to our campsite.

And then, as our campsite came into view, I uttered these infamous words:

"Hey...do we have neighbours?!"

I squinted into the sunlight and saw a soccer-mom vehicle parked in the spot right next to ours.

We kind of stumbled in disbelief and just...stared at this family who had moved in next door.

Literally an hour ago, we were marveling at the emptiness of the campsite. It wasn't as if there were no other spots available. And these tedious people, drawn inexplicably to our animal magnetism, picked the spot right beside us.

RIGHT. BESIDE. US.

I don't know about you, but I go camping so that I can hopefully try and get away from having neighbours for a few days.

I would understand the family moving next to us under the following circumstances:

1. Every other campsite in the place was on fire
2. Every other campsite in the place was under water
3. Every other campsite in the place is over run by zombies

Seeing as none of these contingencies were in effect, we were more than a little put out by these people and their shrieking three year old.

In a fit of madness borne of desperation and heat, we collapsed our tent and dismantled our campsite in about two minutes flat.

We then hauled everything five campsites down.

I'm sure we looked incredibly insane with our air mattress inflated and shoved onto the roof of our SUV, driving slowly and ragefully down the road.

So, we (ie: Adam), set up another campsite and settled down for dinner, a campfire and some intense Scrabble.

One thing we noticed, as the sun began to set on our first (foreshadowing: and last) night of camp, was that the traffic noise really didn't cease. What did happen was that it became more sporadic, so we'd be enjoying the natural sounds of camping when a gigantic truck would come out of nowhere and belch all over our serenity.

Adam and I packed it in early because we were kind of weary of everything by this point.

It's at this point in the story where I have to profess my profound thankfulness at the fact that I wear earplugs to bed.

So, while I drifted off to a nicely muffled sleep, Adam was kept awake by the fact that we were practically camping on a highway. It was like trying to take a nap in a ditch.

So, I slept soundly while Adam seethed and grew slowly insane thanks to a combination of truck fumes and broken dreams.

Day 2

And because of this, he was up at four in the morning chopping wood. Because, that's what you do when you are running on about two hours worth of sleep. Luckily, he did not lose any fingers or other appendages.

When I crawled out of the tent several hours later, he turned to me with seething, blood shot eyes and said "Get me out of here".

I looked at him, and then I looked at the hatchet he was gripping, and I decided that the best thing to do under the circumstances was to eat several marshmallows for breakfast.

After the sugar kicked in, I made the best decision of the whole trip. I decided to find us somewhere else to lay our weary heads for the remainder of our time on the Coast.

I refused to let this mockery of a campsite defeat us!

I called several places. I did not call any campsites, because Adam gave me A LOOK when I suggested that we might need to put the tent up for a third time in two days.

Lady Luck smiled down on me and there was a cancellation at a place called Fisherman's Resort.

We secured a cabin for the remainder of our trip. With this bit of serendipity on our side, we packed up the campsite and tried to bid a hasty retreat out of Bayside.

Tried to.

It turns out, that from all of the packing and unpacking we'd been doing, we left the doors to the SUV open too long, and our battery had died.

Sigh.

We managed to convince one of the Bayside workers to give us a boost, and then we bid a hasty retreat.

And we never did get a refund on the other three days that we booked at Bayside. But, by this time, it was worth it to eat the money and get the hell out.

So we hit the road and made our way north, away from Sechelt to the area of Pender Harbour. Specifically, we traveled to Garden Bay, which became our home for the remainder of our vacation.

The resort (which was really just a wee cabin, perched at the ocean's edge near a marina), was a breath of fresh air. It was quiet, beautiful and serene. It absolutely redeemed the trip. Also, our cabin was named "Mussel Beach", which just amused the heck out of us.

We spent the second half of the day in a happiness coma, enjoying our cabin and watching the boats in the marina.

Day 3

Waking up to the waves lapping the shore, we had our breakfast outside and watched the marina stir to life.

This was the day that we explored Skookumchuk Rapids, which is an area of very fast, very narrow tidal flows. As a result, the tidal changes are spectacular and incredibly dramatic. Skookumchuk is a haven for thrill seeking sea kayakers and we watched a few of them in action.

The hike to and from Skookumchuk left us feeling hot and tired, so on our way back to our cabin, we stopped for a swim at beautiful Ruby Lake.

Back home, we took the Pub Path to the Garden Bay Restaurant, where we dined on west coast food while taking in the sunset over the ocean.

As we retired for the night, listening to a loon call out in the growing darkness, I didn't think our trip could get any better (foreshadowing: I was wrong).

Day 4

Adam works with a guy named Scott whose parents have a summer home near the area of Halfmoon Bay. Scott happened to be heading to his parents place the same time we were on the Coast, so he kindly invited us for a visit.

Scott's parents home is beautifully situated with panoramic ocean views of the bay. We met up with Scott and he took us out on his boat for a tour of the waterways, including Secret Cove and Smuggler's Cove. Fun Fact: Smuggler's Cove was used by rum-runners during the prohibition!

Scott also took us to a beach that's a favorite with locals. It's a sand spit with campsites. We should have stayed here!

After a brief stopover back at Scott's parents place, we went back out on the boat to journey a little farther into the inlets and coves around the area. We saw seals! And lighthouses!

So, we were out on the water for a while and then the waves started getting a bit too choppy for comfort, so we headed back.

Almost as soon as we turned the boat around, I heard Scott exclaim "What was that?!". I turned to where he was pointing and I saw it. A magnificent, 17 metre grey whale. And it was swimming and feeding about 100 feet from the boat.

It was, in all honesty, one of the most amazing sights I've witnessed. Seeing the sheer size of this creature and watching it move in front of me was enough to give me goosebumps.

Adam, Scott and I watched the whale feed and swim for several minutes and we felt incredibly privileged to have witnessed it. We were the only boat in proximity and it felt like we alone were watching this whale.

After getting pictures and a video, we left the whale in peace and proceeded back to the house.

After telling Scott's family about our whale siting, we settled down for a fantastic dinner.

Here's the sunset view from their balcony.

Day 5

On Day 5, we sadly had to say goodbye to our cabin and start the journey home.

We left early and headed to Gibsons, home of the famous CBC television series "The Beachcombers".

The town was a cute tourist destination and made for an excellent end to our Sunshine Coast trip.

I have to say that, despite a horrible first day, our vacation was fantastic. I emerged from it a little sunburned, but with a definite appreciation for Pender Harbour and the beauty of the Sunshine Coast.

We'll definitely be returning, but not to Bayside.

Return to the wild

2010-07-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

It's T-1 day until we go camping! So far, Adam has:

-reserved us a campsite
-hauled out and inventoried the camping gear
-aired out the sleeping bags
-washed the cooking gear
-organized a list of what we need to buy/bring

And I have:

-read my book in the sun
-given Adam some helpful suggestions*
-supervised

I feel as if I've put in a full day's worth of work and it's only 1:00. Clearly, I need to send Adam to make me some more iced tea. He's so lazy.

I love camping. I love campfires and smokies and hammocks and hiking.

I do not love sketchy outhouses and big spiders in sleeping bags.

But I figure that the positives outweigh the negatives. But if I find a big spider in my sleeping bag, I might have to spend the night in the car.

We're heading to the Sunshine Coast bright and early (ie: before noon) tomorrow. We're camping near Sechelt for five days before grudgingly returning to Vancouver.

I'm mostly excited about camping because it gives me an excuse to eat hot dogs at all hours of the day. Also, I get to roast marshmallows! There's something primal and satisfying about holding a helpless marshmallow over a fire until it chars and reveals its sweet, gooey innards.

Camping makes me a little weird.

I wish we could bring our cats with us, but they would spend the entire time alternating between throwing feline hissy fits or cowering in the tent.

Also, they would be eaten by the local wildlife. Probably by aggressive squirrels.

We're bringing our camera, so we can document the frivolity. Expect to be photo-spammed when we get back!

Shaggy mop head

2010-07-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

So I just cut off literally a foot of my hair. I think I spontaneously lost about 20 pounds!

I had grown my hair out for my wedding last September and endured long hair through the humid climes of Belize, but for the last few weeks I had been feeling a nagging desire to chop off my locks.

I had to convince the hair dresser that, yes, I wanted a hair cut and, no, I did not just want a trim.

"But you have such nice hair!" she said.

"Yes, but it attacks my husband and cats. It is also sentient and quite malevolent", is what I thought about saying in return.

Instead I just told her that I was tired of wearing it up all the time and needed a change. But I think she got a taste of how terrifying my hair can be when halfway through the hair cut she paused and said "I think your hair is pouting. Why is your hair pouting?".

It was pouting because she was snipping away its ability to strangle people.

I think she was afraid I was one of those people who are fundamentally attached to their hair and freak out once its gone.

I am not one of these people. I have had pixie hair, long hair, medium hair, red and black hair, red and blond hair and very VERY red hair (so red that my nickname at work became "Howdy Doody").

I'm off the opinion that since hair grows back, you should do what you want with it. If you hate it, you only really have to suffer the shame for a few weeks at most.

So the hair dresser started cutting. And cutting. And cutting. SO MUCH CUTTING.

I tipped her extra because I'm sure she developed an hand cramp.

My hair is now just below my ears and cut into a shaggy, messy bob. I even have some bangs! And my hair dresser dyed it a deep, shiny red.

I'm still getting used to it. I'm not sure if I look like I have strategic bed head or if I just look I've taken a nap in a tornado.

But I must say that feeling air on the nape of my neck is very novel right now.

I would take pictures, but I can't find the camera and I can't be arsed to find it right now. I'll have Adam take some snaps when I see him tomorrow morning.

I have to say that no one screamed in horror when I went grocery shopping and my cats recognized me when I returned, so that's good news.

In non-hair related news, I'm excited because I found the perfect present for my brother Mike's 25th birthday. It's from the internet, so it won't be here for a few weeks, but it's seriously awesome. I love the internet. It provides such easy access to ridiculous items.

Stupid Lungs

2010-06-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, hacking away and cursing my lungs.

I've managed to develop a full-fledged summer cold. Summer colds are so much more indignant than winter colds because human beings are supposed to be sick in the winter time. That's when it's ok to hibernate and live in a blanket fort from November to January.

But summer time is when people are supposed to be all hail and hearty and whatnot.

And even though our "summer" has been filled with middling, grey-skyed days, I still feel as though my immune system has betrayed me.

At first, I tried the patented "just pretend that there is no cold" strategy to see if I could fool my body into ignoring the cold.

I did this by partaking in an evening 5k run in honour of the Summer Solstice. I wheezed my way through the race, wolfed down a celebratory hot dog and stumbled into bed a little after midnight.

I was all excited because I thought that the mixture of running + greasy food had cured my lingering sore throat.

ha.

haha.

ha.

The next morning I woke up in a pile of pain. I felt like I had swallowed an entire porcupine and it was bristling with rage inside my throat.

Oh, and I sounded both husky and stuffed up. Which is a super sexy combination.

I basically spent the weekend moaning around the house and coughing like someone in line for an iron lung.

I wisely avoided work on Monday.

I not so wisely braved work today. I was promptly sent home. I suppose my protestations of "I'm FINE" coupled with deep, horrible coughs did not actually convince anyone.

So, now I'm back home feeling vaguely sorry for myself and trying not to be utterly distracted by own wheezy breathing patterns.

Ugh. UGH.

At least Adam's been distracting me with Season 1 of "True Blood". Saucy southern vampires make convalescence a little easier to handle.

Of Two Minds

2010-06-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

Oh lord.

I am doing a lot of school this month. A lot.

One of my courses makes my brain hurt every week with its scary assignments and tests. And my other course creeps and lurks in the background, like a stalker. This course rears up every once in a while and says things like "DO THIS BIG SCARY WRITTEN TEST RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU FAIL HAHAH HA".

Last weekend gave me heart palpitations because I my two courses converged and I had to basically chain myself to my laptop for several hours.

And the worst thing is that these courses are so drastically different, that my brain literally has to clunk into a different gear when I'm switching back and forth. Otherwise, I get confused and write about how to motivate people who are guilty of securities fraud.

Ugh.

In other news, Adam would like you to know that he is a meatatarian. The man love meat. He basically looks at an animal and parses it into cuts of meat. I often catch him eyeing our cats and I'm pretty sure he's wondering if he can fit them in the crock pot.

I, on the other hand, would be a happy vegetarian. If I could have bacon. If bacon was re-classified as a vegetable, I would embrace vegetarianism with open arms (which would be full of bacon).

I'm very conflicted when it comes to eating meat. I know, in theory, where meat comes from, but I'm more comfortable thinking that meat comes from:

a) trees
b) the grocery store

I don't like to think that my meat once had eyelashes. It makes me sad.

But, I know that I'm omnivorous and I need the protein that comes from meat. But it doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty when I tuck into a pork chop.

So, in conclusion, I am torn apart all over the place this week.

My homework is driving me crazy, and I'm fighting a moral and ethical battle with meat products.

I think I need to relax in a bath. With a glass of wine.

And a handful of bacon.

Come and rifle through my sad belongings...

2010-05-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

So, every year our townhouse community holds a weekend garage sale, wherein we all try and foist our crap onto our unsuspecting neighbours.

This year, the weather was...less than conducive to puttering about people's carports. It was misting passive aggressively and we were forced to sit outside on awkward folding chairs, desperately clutching warm drinks.

It was like camping, but without the nice campfire.

Garage sales are an interesting glimpse into the human psyche.

People will come in, cast their eyes over your paltry offerings and suddenly swoop down and grab something random, like a George Forman Grill and screech "WHAT'S THE LOWEST YOU'LL TAKE FOR THIS". And their eyes turn all wild, like they're fundamentally torn between needing this precious treasure and not paying more than $1.50 for it.

And the bargaining. OH THE BARGAINING.

I mean, I love bargaining as much as the next person, but when the item's already free...there's not much more I can do. Except throw in more crap. Which I gladly did.

I'm happy to say that, despite the gloomy weather, we got rid of a hefty pile of stuff and made a decent profit.

I have to say, that's it takes a lot of self-restraint to not push the hard sell on people wandering by.

I really had to work at not yelling things like "HEY! YOU IN THE HAT! YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO NEEDS A CROCKPOT!"

Surprisingly, this did not help me sell the crockpot. Which is still looming at me, just sitting there smugly on its squat little legs.

Yes, I did just anthropomorphize a cooking appliance.

I blame the madness that comes from sitting in a carport for two full days.

Does anyone want a crockpot?