The last 18 months have been a real slog, and we’re not out of the woods yet. So, as we keep moving forward, what can you do to shift your pandemic perspective from “did to me” to “did for me”? And why would you bother? Here are four suggestions to apply as you keep on keepin’ on.

Choose to look for upsides so you can reclaim your power and leave victimhood behind.

If you focus only on what’s happening in the external world, you’ll feel pushed and shoved and controlled by circumstances. But whenever you choose to identify even one advantage to a situation, you start building back your confidence and sense of control. You just might get rid of just a tiny little bit of stress in the process.

Take advantage of “yes, but.”

While my usual stance is to caution against this phrase, you can put it to strategic good use in certain situations.

Specifically, “yes, but” is a powerful tool when you’re looking for ways to not become mired in thinking nothing is working and everything is rotten. Yes, I’m really tired of wearing a damn mask, but I’m glad to take it off and be comfortable in my home.

“Yes, but” is a good way to break a downward spiral of negativity before you get totally sucked into the pits. As an added benefit, it makes it easier to apply tactic #3.

Follow the detour, and if you don’t see one, make one.

How many of us were on such close terms with Zoom before all this started? How many businesses were open to experimenting with most of their employees working from home? How many commitments to the “one right way” to do something got tossed out the window?

We’re creatures of habit. That can be great if the habits serve us well, and not so great if we’re no longer sure why we do things that way. (NOTE: “That’s just the way we do it” is typically not the best reason to keep doing it that way).

So most of us have gotten a powerful boost in creativity as we figure out a different road to take in order to get where we want to be. Sometimes the road will be longer or harder, but sometimes it will actually be smoother and easier to travel. At least we’ve been knocked off dead center and forced to consider new ways and means to get things done.

Look for more ways to stop “should”ing on yourself.

The pandemic actually gave us permission to say “no” to some activities we may have been saying “yes” to out of a sense of obligation. Woohoo! Be sure to take that permission into the future as things open up.

• Don’t really have the bandwidth to take part in that committee, even if they’ll still be meeting virtually? “I’m sorry; that won’t work for me.”

• Not really interested in joining that book discussion? “Thanks for thinking of me; I’m going to pass on that.”

No justifying necessary. Self-care includes setting healthy boundaries and choosing not to should on yourself. It’s both your right and your responsibility to take care of yourself, so be sure to maintain that new, pandemic-inspired habit.

While I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, I do believe that we can identify something of benefit in even horrible situations. In other words, there are gifts to be had from any experience, even if they come in really ugly wrapping paper.

How about you? What has helped you successfully come this far despite a really rough journey? What’s one upside you can identify to this life-altering, mind-boggling pandemic era? Leave your thoughts below so the rest of us can take advantage of what’s already helped you!

BTW, thanks to kajsa for posting the plain-brown-wrapper gift in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.

What horse have you dismounted (or perhaps fallen from) this past year?

What with one thing and another – U.S. political insanity, a pandemic, becoming best friends with Zoom – “normal” became a distant memory for most of us. We started doing things we’d never done and not doing things we’d always done.

Now, as we creep toward a “new normal,” we get to get back on those horses we may not have ridden for a while. Whether you got thrown from the horse or voluntarily dismounted, gathering the courage to get back on may take some effort.

One of my personal horses is blogging. I’ve strategically decided it’s time to start back up, but that doesn’t mean I was totally comfortable sitting down to write.

See how well these three tactics allow you to approach your horse with a certain degree of calm and confidence.

1. Ease into it.

You don’t have to opt for the equivalent of a 10-mile trail ride your first time back in the saddle. Set yourself up for success by allowing yourself to take baby steps toward your goal. To ease my re-entry into the blogosphere, I deliberately chose these clearly defined and manageable tasks:

• commit to consistently post (actually the hardest step)
• update my spreadsheet of potential topics
• choose the first few topics
• brainstorm content for the first blog
• schedule time to write

None of those steps felt overwhelmingly large, and each made it easier for me to actually feel good about sitting down at my laptop. And apparently this approach worked; otherwise, you wouldn’t have had this to be reading now.

Ideally, you’ll be smart enough to continue this “let it be easy” approach once you’ve settled into your task. To get some further encouragement, check out one of my tastier blogs, Monkey Bread: It’s Not Just for Breakfast Anymore.

2. Be willing to do an old task in a new way.

I read enough horse books as a girl to know that you typically mount from the horse’s left side. But what if my right leg is stronger than my left, and can give me a better boost into the saddle? It’s certainly worth a try.

My new way, in the back-to-blogging context, involves writing shorter posts. They’ll be quicker for you to read and for me to write. We’ll both have to wait and see if I can figure out how to be more succinct. Wish me luck.

3. Don’t be surprised to find the damn horse has moved.

My “horse,” in this context, was the back room of WordPress.

Technical upgrades are the bane of my existence. Just when I’ve figured out the easiest way to take advantage of some program or platform, I’m presented with a “new and improved” version. That’s why I was less than pleased to realize that WordPress made my life “easier” by switching to block editing of posts.

I could wish I had paid more attention to my own “don’t be surprised” recommendation, because when I went back into WordPress in way too long, my first reaction was, “Seriously? Why?!?”

Since I hadn’t been prepared for this unexpected change, I got to move on to Plan B: whine and complain for a few minutes to get it out of my system, then sit down and figure out how to handle the changes.

So what horses are you ready to bring out of the pasture so you can get back on them? What’s helped you get back in the saddle? What may be preventing you? Leave your thoughts below; I’ll gift the first three (non-spam!) commenters with a copy of my ebook, Do It Now! How to Take Action, Get a Move On, and Make Things Happen.

Heigh-ho, Silver! Awaaaaaaay!!

BTW, thanks to Paul for posting the falling-off-your-horse picture in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.

We all have them: those people, words, and actions that push our buttons and hijack our peace of mind.

When you allow that button pushing, the very best you can hope for is just a few hours of crankiness. Too often, though, reacting to the push also results in embarrassment and loss of goodwill; it can even cost you business.

Obviously, the ideal reaction is no reaction…and maintaining emotional neutrality is a lot more easily said than done when faced with a skilled button pusher.

So how do you shield your buttons – or, better yet, destroy them so they’re not even available for pushing? While I believe this can be a life-long process, here are steps you can start taking today to get going on it.

Breathe.

Any time I’ve ended up with both feet wedged in my mouth, it’s because I didn’t take time, between the button push and my reaction to it, to regain emotional control. Breathing is a great way to do this.

Taking just a few second to inhale and exhale gives you time for your brain to override your emotions, making it less likely you’ll say or do something regrettable.

Lock the gate ahead of time.

If you know you’re likely to encounter one of your button pushers in a particular situation, acknowledge it and remind yourself that they have no control over your emotions – unless you give that control to them.

So when you see them, use that as a visual cue to lock your mental gate to keep them out of your head.

Don’t invite them in.

A locked gate does no good if you open it for an intruder.

If you know you’re susceptible to a particular person’s button pushing, simply choose not to engage with them. If that’s not an option for some reason – for example, if it’s a family member or someone you work with daily – keep all dealings as brief as possible. You can choose not to engage further with some easy techniques:

• instead of arguing a point, let it go with a casual “Perhaps”; this acknowledges they’ve said something without actually giving them any further opportunity for pushing

• come back with some non-committal, unengaging non-verbals, such as a shrug or a simple “mhmm”

Take advantage of the mirror they provide.

The very thing that’s SO DAMN IRRITATING in a button pusher may reflect a behavior your yourself exhibit – and are not pleased with.

So see if you can use that person/action/phrase as an opportunity for self-reflection. Perhaps you can identify an area where you’re actually getting in your own way – and once you’ve become aware of it, you can take steps to change it to something that serves you better.

If that strikes you as yet another “easier said than done” activity, I have a suggestion that can help. Check out You, Unleashed: How to Make Powerful Choices and Design the Life You Long For.

In less than an hour, this short and meaty e-book will give you a slew of actionable baby-steps you can start taking today to improve your results – and start leaving the button pushers behind.

(BTW, thanks to Eric Schmuttenmaer for posting the button in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.)

So…..

I was locked in combat with the beast known as Facebook advertising. When I tried to re-run an ad – previously approved by FB in every detail – my account was instantly shut down for “non-compliance with our policies.”

I was certain this was an automatic, unthinking response from one of their bots, so I confidently appealed the decision…only to be told by another entity (couldn’t tell if this one was human or electronic) that my repeated non-compliance meant the account ban would not be lifted and that I had no further recourse.

This prompted my inner child to throw an intense (though silent) temper tantrum: “But it’s not fair! It doesn’t make sense! They’re disallowing something they’d already approved. That’s just wrong. They’re wrong.”

I’d been warned this would inevitably happen, because, hey – Facebook. But the pre-warning didn’t really make it any more palatable.

You know and I know that this type of unfair, just-plain-wrong decision is something we’ve all had to deal with over and over again as we move through this adventure called life. Since there’s no getting away from this type of situation, what can you do to shake it off and move on as quickly and effectively as possible?

Let yourself be irritated – for a while.

I opted to just walk away from all things Facebook for at least 24 hours. While I didn’t exactly rehearse my irritation and indignation, I also didn’t fight against it when thoughts of FB’s bad decision popped into my head. Choosing not to resist actually enabled me to release my irritation more quickly than I would have if I’d tried to talk myself out of my crankies.

Use it as motivation to keep moving forward.

I decided to emulate the attitude of a successful FB advertiser who was dealing with multiple issues in trying to use the platform: “Facebook picked the wrong person to mess with.”

Yes, I’m in a David-and-Goliath battle here, and I’m not Goliath. But we all know how that story turned out.

This was my first account ban, and it won’t be my last. But there’s nothing FB can do to make me quit – so who’s the ultimate winner gonna be?

Celebrate it as an opportunity to flex those persistence muscles.

This is a great complement to strategy number two. As a classic Japanese saying encourages us, “Fall down seven times. Stand up eight.”

So many huge and small successes have resulted from a person’s refusal to give up. I believe you can even go so far as to say that some level of success is inevitable if you keep on keeping on. And doesn’t that possibility make persisting sound a lot more appealing?

                          *******************

Our life experiences are completely in our control. Not that you can control your circumstances – COVID-19 has made that abundantly clear – but you can control how you respond to them. So pull up your big girl/boy panties and know that, even when someone else is dead wrong, you can still create your own happy ending.

Remember: Those circumstances picked the wrong person to mess with.

How? Maddy showed me the error of assuming that one needs opposable thumbs in order to open jars.

Having moved the jar of peanut butter further away from the edge of the counter before I left the house, I was fairly surprised to see it sitting on the living room floor. I didn’t even get mad, since Maddy and Barkley both had been very neat about licking out nearly nine ounces of peanut butter without spreading it all over the place. Once I got done shaking my head in bemusement, I realized Maddy had generously created a teaching moment just for me. Here’s what she reminded me about.

Stop thinking you “can’t” do something.

Obviously, Maddy doesn’t buy into the theory that opening jars requires thumbs and the fine motor skills to use them effectively. She demonstrated that all you really need is a good set of teeth and an inspiring target.

How often do you argue for your limitations by rehearsing all the reasons you “can’t” tackle a particular challenge? What would happen if, instead, you simply assumed that there was a way for you to succeed, then did what you had to do to figure it out?

Know which battles are worth fighting.

In Maddy’s case, choosing this particular battle was a no-brainer. She was willing to do what it took – and pay the potential consequences – because, hey, peanut butter.

While humans’ choices are often just a tad more complex than this, it still behooves us to realize that we’re unlikely to have the bandwidth to do everything it’s theoretically possible to do.

Much smarter to set yourself up for success by thoughtfully and strategically identifying your highest-payoff activities and putting your energy into them, then – with equal thought and intention – let the rest go.

This process of choice is made much easier by application of one of my very favorite tools.

Know why.

Maddy’s a pretty basic kind of girl. Her overriding “why” is equally basic: “Enjoy myself.” Whether this takes the form of snuggling with her human, running in the yard with her canine sister, or scarfing down peanut butter, she’s willing to take action and, when necessary, involve others (that would mostly be me) in helping her achieve her goals.

The more you stand to get from any given activity, the easier it is to persevere and figure out how to deal with the inevitable bumps in the road.

So the bottom line is this: What’s your peanut butter?

                         ******************

Now you may find yourself thinking, “Yeah, yeah. That’s all well and good, but there’s so much I have to get done, I don’t have any choice but to go flat out all day, every day.”

If that’s the case, I encourage you to check out Zoom In: How to Do What’s Important and Let the Rest Go.

This Kindle short read will give you a whole slew of actionable tips you can start applying today to let yourself off the hook of thinking everything has to be done and done now. The hour you’ll spend reading it is a great investment in sanity, which may be even more appealing than peanut butter.

Butt kicking.

Done for the right reason – to get someone unstuck and back on track toward their important goal – it’s a valuable and compassionate tool.

But what do you do when the butt that needs kicking is your own?

We’ve probably all experienced being both kicker and kickee; the trick is getting good at playing both roles simultaneously, if need be. Here are very effective tools, drawn from my own kickee experience.

Ask, “WWID?”

It’s challenging to view your own actions as if someone else were taking them. It requires a lot of honesty and courage, and it can be just the kick in the butt you need to stop procrastinating.

When you realize you’re stressing out because you’re making zero progress toward an important goal, ask yourself, “What would I do if I saw someone else acting like this?” If the answer is, “lose patience, roll my eyes, tell them to get a grip,” you’ve taken the vital step of becoming aware that you’re the one in need of a nudge into action.

What’s it gonna get you?

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the nuts and bolts of an activity – particularly a challenging one – and forget why you’re doing it.

For example, I’m currently dealing with the beast known as media buying on Facebook. None of this is intuitive for me, and I found myself wanting to just walk away from the latest frustration. Just before I succumbed, however, I remembered that this process is one of the ways I’m going to finance a backyard pool. Given that current temperatures are in the 90’s and humidity is in the upper 80’s, this realization was enough to keep me at my computer. (And, yes, I did successfully tame the beast – at least for the moment.)

Do something.

I know: This is a drum I beat all the time. That’s because it’s so powerful and so often under-utilized.

Getting in motion is always harder than staying in motion. Take a tiny first step, then use that as a springboard for the next tiny step, and the next, and the next. Getting toward your goals one baby step at a time is just as effective – and a lot more likely – than getting there in a single giant bound. And it will lead right into the next tool.

Make action your default.

Just as procrastination is largely a matter of habit, taking action can also become a matter of habit. Daily action will ultimately not only get you where you want to be; it will also turn you into a habitual doer.

But physical action is not the only way to develop this habit. You can also get your head in the game by creating – and using! – a daily affirmation to encourage yourself.

One person’s affirmation is another person’s nagging, so it’s important to create one that resonates with you. My personal favorite is, “Action always feels better than inaction.”

Enlist a co-kicker.

Also known as an accountability partner.

If the preceding techniques just aren’t cutting it for you, your designated co-kicker can step in and help.

Here’s a case in point. On the weekly call with one of my own accountability buddies, I was taking my own sweet time making a commitment about what I’d do prior to our next call. At one point Windy said “I’m hearing talk but not a commitment.” Ouch. It forced me to ask whether I was simply processing my thoughts out loud (which is what I thought I was doing) or if I was just trying to weasel my way out of the commitment. I decided it was a little of both, and proceeded to bottom-line my comments.

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Does this ring a bell for you? Do you find yourself stalling your forward progress because of inaction? Do you feel some butt-kicking is in order? I’d be happy to help.

Check out Do It Now!: How to take action, get a move on, and make things happen. This short-read e-book, based on my own and my clients’ progress from procrastinator to doer, will provide additional tools to make your own journey easier. You can look inside it here.

(BTW, thanks to scott feldstein for posting the fabulous butt-kicking image in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.)

Quick back-story: My sister decided to sand and paint her kitchen cabinets. Screwing the newly painted doors back into their frames was definitely a two-person job, so I spent a couple of fun-filled afternoons helping with that. The very last step was to re-attach the doors to the two small, hopelessly inconvenient cupboards above the refrigerator.

Since neither my sister nor I could get good leverage with the screwdriver while on a chair, Barbara helpfully suggested I boost myself up and sit on top of the refrigerator (I’m shorter and smaller than she is). I couldn’t get up there by myself, so she gave me a leg up. Once perched on top, I found I had more than adequate room to maneuver, and the job was finished fairly easily. Only one thing remained: getting down.

So I’m perched six feet or so above the ground, the chair is at least eight inches below my searching foot, and I can’t scooch any closer to the front edge for fear of accidentally opening the freezer door I’m perched on, thus leading to blood and chaos.

Stalemate.

My thoughts raced, presenting me with Technicolor images of what would happen if I landed wrong or missed the step. Then, faster yet, another thought flashed: “I teach this stuff!” So I jumped. (Okay, maybe it was more of a hop, but still.)

In that one heartbeat, I’d remembered all the advice to clients, all the blogging, all the personal-growth work I’ve done, all the focus on finding the courage to take action. And all that experience – along with a burning desire not to be a complete hypocrite – propelled me safely down.

Now, granted, this wasn’t like cliff diving in Acapulco, but it was still fairly scary for me. But since being stranded for an indefinite period of time on my sister’s refrigerator wasn’t a viable option, my best choice was to pull a Nike and “just do it.” What enabled me to take action despite feeling wimpy?

I had a compelling “why.”

I love spending time with my sister. Just not from on top of her refrigerator.

I had help.

Barbara was standing right next to the chair; I knew she was fully prepared to prop me up if I stumbled. She even had a firm hold on my hand (less for propulsion than for security).

I chose to not dither.

I’d gotten myself into situations in the past where I knew I had no real choice but to do something, but I didn’t want to do it, but I had to, but I didn’t want to. All I accomplished by dithering was to create more stress for myself.

But, since I can be taught, I realized almost immediately that I would be jumping/hopping down at some point in time. I could do it right now and get it over with, or I could blow it up into a huge terrifying deal and still have to get down somehow.

Eva Young had it absolutely right: “To think too long about a thing often becomes its undoing.”

For me, in this situation, failing to take action was not a real option. But there have been plenty of times in my life – and, I suspect, yours – when we talked ourselves out of doing something we knew would be good for us in the long run. We over-analyzed, or scared ourselves, or rationalized our inaction, or, or, or.

It’s time to stop not doing the right things – especially if you’re not doing them for all the wrong reasons.

So…Are you willing to jump?

When you’re trying to create something special in your life, you’re going to get much better results in the long run when you make conscious decisions about the pace of the journey from here to there.

Too often we think “slow and steady” is boring; we’d prefer to model ourselves on the cheetah rather than the tortoise. Preferences are one thing; insistence on always moving quickly is another. Because sometimes “fast” is a good thing, and sometimes it’s not. (Are you sensing a theme here?)

So let’s think about the best way to take advantage of a variety of animal rôle models who are experts at their own ways of getting around.

Inching along

The tree sloth is the slowest-moving mammal in the world. Not exactly sexy.

But the sloth gets done exactly what it needs to, and it does so very effectively and safely. After all, would you try to hurry if you were hanging upside down 40 feet above the ground?

The fact is, sometimes moving at the speed is sloth is exactly what the situation calls for. Give yourself permission to be smart enough to start small and slow when learning something new – especially if the consequences of a potential screw-up are huge. Just also be smart enough to know when “not taking serious action because I’m scared to move out of my comfort zone” is masquerading as “prudently slow.”

Trotting

Based on all the horse stories I read as a kid, a trot is the proper gait to use when you want to make significant progress without exhausting yourself.

This is a good choice when you’re operating in your zone of competence and want to cover some serious ground. You’re experienced enough to move briskly and effectively to apply what you know and get the results you’re looking for. At the same time, you’re not moving so fast you can’t keep your eyes open for unexpected pitfalls you may not have encountered before.

Soaring

This is a lovely mode of transportation. You’re performing not just competently, but exceptionally. You’ve paid your earlier, slower-moving dues and are reaping the rewards. You move through your activities easily and know how to take advantage of labor-saving tools and processes (the “air currents”).

This high level of performance is not just gratifying in itself. It also opens your eyes to how much more there is to play with. That’s great news, because it gives you all kinds of ideas about creating more and more fabulous experiences and outcomes.

And, since you’ll be a novice when tackling those new areas, be prepared to shift back to sloth mode as you learn.

The bottom line is this: Acknowledge that inching along, trotting, and soaring are all excellent ways of getting to a goal; there’s a proper time to use each as you advance toward where you want to be; and there’s satisfaction to be found in every bit of progress you make, no matter at what pace you’re traveling. So enjoy!

(BTW, thanks to Stan Lupo, bambe1964, and DenSmith for posting the sloth, horse, and eagle images, respectively, in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.)

When you look at that garbanzo bean, ask yourself: Does it or does it not resemble a tiny human butt?

Many people would honestly say they’ve thought that for years. Many others would honestly say they’d never noticed the similarity before – but they do now.

Once you clearly see something, you can never unsee it.

Once you hear something profound, you can never unhear it.

Once you know something in your gut, you can never unknow it.

But, because most of us are determined to stay in our comfort zones, we can choose to bury the sight or sound or knowledge so deep that it’s as if it never impinged on our awareness at all.

And while that may be useful in some ways, I suspect that, for every one instance of genuine value, there are 10 instances where that deliberate burial has negative long-term consequences.

Recently, I’ve been dealing with this unhelpful ignoring in both the professional and personal arenas.

Work-wise, I somehow managed to ignore two of the most important habits that I know make my days more productive and satisfying:

• Chunk big tasks down into baby steps.

• Do something on a major project. Every. Damn. Day.

I’m not sure why I got out of these habits over the last couple of weeks, but I am sure doing so created a stretch of crappy days for me. Not only did I not make any progress on my project, but when I got my little chickpea butt back into gear, I found I’d lost all momentum and had forgotten some of the how-to’s of dealing with the tech involved. And I would do this to myself…why?

The personal “can’t unsee” situation I’m dealing with is one that’s in every American’s face right now: the ongoing protests against policy brutality, particularly as directed against people of color. The problem is SO huge, SO pervasive, that it’s unfortunately easy for a lot of white people to become paralyzed, even when they want to support racial justice.

In the big scheme of things, my lack of productivity at work isn’t even close to being in the same league as systemic racism. But they do have one thing in common: I’m no longer at a point where I can not see the damage I’m doing by doing nothing.

Sooner or later, you’ll be faced with another potentially overwhelming situation, either personally or professionally. At those times, do yourself a favor and remember this pithy and powerful advice from Squire Bill Widener (often misattributed to Theodore Roosevelt):

Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.

Don’t pressure yourself by trying to quickly change your work habits – or the world. That’s not possible – but you sure can drive yourself crazy thinking it could or “should” be.

Instead, take some action. Baby-step your way toward a better place. Keep showing up. Eventually you’ll be able to point to actions and outcomes you’re proud of.

And if you’re a white person who’s been wondering what tiny steps you can take toward creating racial justice, I encourage you to check out an organization called Showing Up for Racial Justice. SURJ (which I’d never even heard of until a couple weeks ago) has been active for ten years in the quest for true racial justice, and they have wonderfully actionable tools to share.

Thank you, and that is the end of my one and only hybrid business/political post.

(BTW, thanks to Chris Devers for posting the chickpea/baby butt image in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.)

Warning! Warning!!

If you’re 100% committed to using only tangible, nuts-and-bolts tools to build your business, you’d best bail out now.

However, if you’re 100% committed to using the best tangible tools and the best mindset tools available, you’ll love this.

I’ve been flooded lately with examples of the power behind simultaneously focusing on my desired outcome and acting from a place of belief, as if that outcome has already come to pass. I hope these stories encourage you to give this double-whammy a try in your own life.

Story #1: The Bird-Brain

My Golden tore off the flap on the dog-door leading from my screened porch to the outdoors. Before I got the replacement hardware installed, a hummingbird managed to fly onto the porch and then managed to completely ignore the hole she’d flown through to get stuck. (The very definition of “bird-brain.”)

I opened the outside door fully, so she’d have a bigger exit; no good. I tried to encourage her to leave by invading her space as I washed my porch furniture; no good. I tried gentle bird herding with a broom; no good.

After a couple hours of this, I got an inspiration. I chose to focus on my desired outcome – the bird safely getting back into the great wide open – without getting hung up on how or when it was going to happen. I reinforced this focus by repeating one of my favorite morning mantras:

With eager expectation, I stand on the brink of what is coming –
untroubled by doubt or impatience.

I chose to believe all would be well; to stay calm and not insist it happen right now; and to just step back and allow it happen.

When I looked out about half an hour later, she was safely gone.

Story #2: No time to chat

This week has been very busy for me. I knew I wanted to wish a good friend “Happy Birthday,” and I also knew I would get antsy if we had one of our usual long, leisurely conversations. Instead of saying I “didn’t have time” for friendship, I chose to believe the timing and connection would somehow work out well for everyone.

As it turns out, I didn’t have to manage the experience; the Universe and Cindy herself stepped in to take care of that for me. Turns out that she was very pressed for time that day, too. So we had an short but gratifying catch-up, with plans for a more relaxed future call when we could go into more detail about the highlights we’d shared.

Story #3: Body parts

As you may know, I’ve decided I’m just not doing this aging crap. And, despite the skunk stripe running down my head as the result of COVID-induced salon closings, I remain committed to keeping my self-perceived age lagging my biological age by a couple of decades.

Too bad I forgot to tell my shoulder that.

A few weeks ago, my dominant-side shoulder began really hurting, and my range of motion was pretty severely restricted. I got regular chiropractic treatments and, although they definitely helped, they didn’t fully fix things.

Then I realized I was coming from a place of negative expectations. Every time I reached up or out with my right hand, I worried about whether I was over-extending my shoulder, if it would hurt, if I would make the situation worse. Then, when I experienced some pain, I really focused on that and felt totally sorry for myself.

Enough, already!

So I started acting as if the healing were already a done deal. While I didn’t flail around all over the place, I did start moving my arm and shoulder smoothly and confidently, rather than gingerly. If that happened to produce a twinge, I briefly noticed it and then left it behind.

The breakthrough came when I reached behind me to remove a dog hair from the back of my shirt — a serious stretch I hadn’t been able to comfortably do for weeks. It wasn’t until I was triumphantly brandishing the hair that I realized I’d moved my arm with no pain at all.

The bottom line? Your focus, faith, and actions can all combine to create results that more mundane tools often can’t. What’s it worth to you to experiment with this in your own challenging situations?

(BTW, thanks to David Danicolò for posting the hummingbird image in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.)