The Weathers Book Blog

Ignorance and stupidity Not the same thing

2018-04-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

I was reading on Facebook today that 'we are becoming a two class society in America.' Well, all I can say is: "Duh" Anyone with an ounce of brains could see this coming since the 1990's. We were smart enough to know the signing of NAFTA was a disaster in the making, and here we are. Why would anyone in America even entertain the idea we could compete with countries where workers are paid thirty five cents per hour for all their hard work? But then ,again, Americans have an insatiable appetite for cheap shit, so they love Walmart while getting cheap shit that lasts maybe five minutes.

Here is where ignorance and stupidity are not the same at all. Ignorance has a remedy, where stupidity is when people choose to remain stupid, if our government keeps us stupid, they have won when it comes to control. Why do people want to be neo-Nazis? Why do they want to blame the poor, the immigrants or any other group but not the rich? Well it basically starts with ignorant people who refuse to become enlightened. We can all see that money does not make anyone smarter. Look at Donald Trump, stupid as hell while ignorant, and stupid people continue to look up to him. Only because those people choose to remain ignorant until, then they just become stupid.

Even our parents, and grandparents, who grew up during the Depression possessed common sense. Common sense is when you look around, see things as they are and you also figure out how to do things because you can see the end results before they happen. Our parents and grandparents also knew enough to form unions. Why? Because they knew rich corporations would leave their workers to die in poverty, eventually. For heaven's sake, the rich corporations were killing America's children. By placing small kids in dangerous situations, for the sake of slave labor to save five cents. Wake up, America. Slave labor has Always been the preference of corporate America right from the founding of this country. Make no mistake about it! We can laud the founding fathers all we want. Truth be known, America was put together by a bunch of rich landowners and has been run by them ever since.

Why did the Boomers protest the Vietnam War? Well because we did educate ourselves as to what was going on in the world. We did understand that what was happening in the world did pertain to us too. We didn't just protest that form of slavery (here it was again) they liked to call the draft. We protested being a generation of nothing more than cannon fodder to the government. People now like to mock education. Why? Because the government wants us to be ignorant. They do not want anyone to be as enlightened as the Boomers were. Why are there no Dan Rathers among news people anymore? Well the government loves to keep us in the dark. Showing us how they kill innocent civilians, especially children in the Middle East? Hell no, censor the news now. Then when truth comes out, they call it 'fake news' Especially if they are not portrayed in a favorable light.

Ignorance and apathy helped usher This conman into play.

So, America, stop dissing education and enlightenment. Stop allowing ignorant people to intimidate you. Stand up, be heard, stop hoping those rich people will take pity on you. Demand change, demand your rights. Stop thinking they have your best interests at heart.

Stop thinking the rich and greedy own your equal rights. Why in hell do you think no one else in society deserves safe neighborhoods, affordable housing, enough food and health care? Get over it! They DO deserve as much as YOU do.

The rich do Not OWN your rights as a human being or as a citizen. Wise up!

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Men and Women

2018-04-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

I was recently reading a magazine article, written by a psychologist, concerning how women need to act if they become the sole bread winner. It was all about how not to bruise your husband's ego. I had to laugh because it said ALL the things for women not to do, the things Many men Have been doing for years to their wives. While I do not think two wrongs make a right, I Do think hubby needs to suck it up and get a grip, just as women Were Expected to do for years. Here is My take on that stupid article.

I'm frankly surprised so Many husbands even survived the 1950's and 60's, still intact. The stupid article I read said: "Don't squeeze the purse strings just because You bring in more money." Well, boo fucking hoo. How many husbands did we hear say: "It's My place, I pay the rent, not Her.'? Yeah, forgive me for Not sympathizing with little hubby. MY advice? Get over it.

A lot of women were demeaned not only at home, but in ads as well. I Remember my own mom, when asked what she wanted for Christmas, saying: "Anything Without a handle." Seriously.

Another stupid piece of advice from the article: "Don't Expect your husband to do ALL the housework." Uh Huh. How Many men always jumped in there right after work to help out at home? Some, these days do, but Many Don't too. How Many men said: "you're home all day, why isn't the house spotless?" I dare say, Too many have and Do.

So Why is poor hubby's ego so much more fragile than women's. After all, doesn't history say 'women are the weaker sex?' Yeah, right, sure we are. That house Better be clean when I get home, I can assure you of That. Remember: Most women Never shot a man while he was doing the dishes or doing the laundry.

I cannot Believe I was even reading the words in this, the 21st century in a magazine. Get over it guys!

"My wife doesn't understand me" That makes TWO of us, I don't understand you either!!!!!!

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People are annoying anymore and here's Why

2018-04-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

I was pondering, one day, that maybe I'm just becoming a cranky person, the older I get. It has become increasingly annoying to deal with people in 'modern society' anymore. But then I realized that in this day and age of technology, people have become quite annoying and it's not my imagination.

I feel like I'm living in the movie: 'Dumb and Dumber' and here are just a few reasons why. We recently posted an item for sale on Craig's- list. We posted: "No texts, phone calls only, please." So people insist on sending a text anyway. One person's response? "People text these days because it's easier." Easier? How is having to spell out words (which, by the way, no one spells correctly anymore anyway) than picking up a phone and actually talking? Stupid reasoning.

Let's talk the hiring situation these days. Recently I've seen so much legalized discrimination, it's becoming pathetic. How do I know this? Well you tell me. Example: A person close to me recently sent out their resume to a company. A day later, some woman calls leaving a voice mail saying: "I was looking over your resume. I'd like you to call me because I have a couple questions and maybe see about setting up an interview." So the person seeking a job calls back, no answer, he leaves a voice mail and no return calls. He then calls the 'office number' where said woman claimed she can be reached and she is conveniently 'at a meeting, but will call back between 2 and 3:30'. Right! No return call and the person seeking a job said: "Well she heard a male voice and is Now brushing me off." I have to say, he is probably correct. For one thing, the hiring people, who are in charge, these days are so damned inept, the think they will find the perfect fit for any job. Back in the day, if a person held a similar position, they were qualified for the position. But now, hiring people are seeking purple unicorns that do not now, nor will ever exist. Worse yet, I've talked to many people who say the person hiring for the company they work for, claim "No one wants to work anymore.' Bull shit! The hiring people are as lazy a bunch as they come.

We go to family and friends parties and gatherings. Guests used to be happy to see one another. Now? Well they bring cell phones and laptops and if you don't have a square face with writing across it, you get ignored and people are downright rude. I'm also damned Tired of listening to other people's conversation in restaurants but Still they insist on yelling into their cell phones. 'Shut the hell up!"

I'm not surprised, because the technology touted to be 'helping us' has Now become a crutch so people stay dumb as hell. No one reads anymore, so no one knows history. They tend to believe the crap spewed on the Internet, which is nothing but some one's misguided opinion. We do not have famous news people anymore either, who Really report Real news, because everyone has Some sort of butt hurt they are babying and cannot handle reality. Example: We were walking in the mall one morning, when some young lady was jogging and pushing a stroller. She came within two inches of hitting me in the back of my leg. My husband made a comment about watching where she is going. That bimbo (Yes, 'bimbo') had the nerve to approach us with a card about 'hurtful words.' I said: "If you had hit my legs, the air would have turned blue. There would have been a string of 'hurtful words.'

So I'm convinced it's not me, society is becoming increasingly annoying. Where are the Real people?

I'm Glad I'm Retired...Penn Yan

2018-03-08T03:17:00.000-08:00

All over America the economy sucks and in small town, USA, it sucks the most. I'm so glad I'm retired because lately I've seen that this new batch of hiring managers do not know how to hire. Some say: "Well companies are looking for purple unicorns." From what I've seen I really have no idea what in hell they are looking for. I doubt they even know. Most of them could not hire their way out of a paper bag, and yet, here we are, those dummies are the managers. That's scary.

I've lived in small towns, mostly, all of my life. I think small towns, for the mot part, are safer than big cities. But I've also known that when small town folk try to befriend you, it's because they just want to be up in your business. I also know, for the most part, in order to get a good job in a small town it boils down to: "Who you know and who you blow." Sad, but true.

In a small town, if you have any kind of education beyond high school, when you go to an interview, you are immediately viewed as suspicious, by the hiring person. They look at you as if you want their job, and from what I've observed, that would probably only be an improvement anyway.

Examples of small town interviews: You have a degree, and because the jobs in small towns are limited, you apply for a job at the local convenience store. They call you in for the interview and it goes like this: (Hiring person) "So you want to work here?" (Job seeker) "Yes, I would like to." (Hiring person) "You have a degree, why do you want to work here?" (Job seeker) "What do you mean?" (Hiring person) "Well you are educated, you are over qualified." {Truth is: There is NO such thing as 'over qualified' either you can do the damned job or you can't. {Truth is, if I am educated I can do that damned job.} (Job seeker) "Well jobs are rather limited here and I applied." {What the job seeker (Me anyway) would really like to say: "I want to work here because I have to pay for those frivolous things like food, clothing and shelter. Oh, by the way, are you telling me that you and the rest of the staff are stupid?" Hell they sure are implying it.

Truth is this: None of those jobs are exactly rocket science and America has simply become sellers for cheap, Chinese goods, created in a sweat shop by slaves. So stop acting like I've lived my entire life just waiting to be talked down to at this damned interview.

Yeah, I have a degree which means I know that 2+2 still equals 4. Got it? I realize (From an entire life of observation) small town folk have to spell their last names correctly to be accepted. Most of the jobs in a small town, I could bring in Joe Blow off the street and he could do your job just fine and dandy. In reality ( where few people seem to live anymore) hiring managers just do not want anyone who might make them look incompetent. Not realizing all the while, as soon as they opened their mouth, spewing dumb questions, they already oozed incompetence. Hell, a prime example of America's failed high school education system is this: One day the cash register failed to work right in a Walmart (Meaning it did not give the answers on a silver platter to the cashier as to how much change I got back.) So the cashier whipped out a hand held calculator and it took that clerk almost 45 minutes to figure out I got back a whopping 70 cents. Oh my!

Another good example is: Small towns sometimes have a college, you get a degree from said college, a job opens up at said college, you apply, only to find out they don't even like their own degrees enough to call you in for an interview. Also said small town college, you leave the area to get a job within your degree to find out no one has even heard of you, outside small town. The potential employer, in a bigger area, has to Google your name to see if you are even a real college. (This is from personal experience.)

Also example: You apply, after moving back to small town, for a Social Work job at one of the local nursing homes. You get called in for an interview and then they find out you were once a nurse aid at that same place, a few years before. They have realized you got married, changed your name, so you scored the interview. But (Here's the kicker) you once were a nurse aid so you still must be stupid in their book. When you go to the interview,and they had forgotten who you were, you get treated ( for the first time ever, with respect) when you were a nurse aid you were not treated with respect, although nurse aids are needed more than Social Workers, in my book. Also I've written a book about how awful traditional nursing homes really are. One person at the interview actually said: "I suppose you'll write about us?" Why would I when you already fit the category of 'traditional nursing homes suck'?

So while small towns might be safer, I'm retired now and could care less about a job in one, they also have major flaws. Most flaws are, they are too conservative, too tight knit and too provincial for their own good. It's why they fail to ever progress. While this is my opinion, it is based on personal experience living in Small Town USA.

When Our Dad's Went to Work

2018-02-20T05:28:00.000-08:00

Lately we hear a lot of 'Make America Great
Again' chants, but just what do people mean by those feelings and chants? I am sure the 'America Was Great' comment depends a lot on who you ask. Are they longing for a time of true greatness in this country, or are they simply feeling nostalgia that their memories of youth bring? I hardly think anyone in America can honestly say that this country is not in trouble. So looking back at how America has been, is worth the effort.

Sometimes I even catch myself being nostalgic, thinking of the times I grew up in. But we cannot relive the past, as much as we would like to. I grew up in an era when the small town I grew up in, had plenty of jobs. My father went to work every day, my brothers went to work each day and even as a teenager, we had a choice of jobs to earn some spending money. My parents were poor, we were poor, but as a kid I had love, a roof over my head and food on the table, so I never noticed so much just how poor we were. We pumped water from a well, we had electricity (this house was the first house my parents lived in that had electricity) but we had no running water and we used an outhouse. Kids these days would think they were dying if they had to do any of those things. We lived on five acres and my dad, who always wanted to be a farmer, loved planting, so we had plenty of food. My mom preserved anything she could get her hands on, that was food. There were so many jobs that I worked several summers to buy my class ring and school clothes in high school, so my parents didn't have to scrape for the money for those frills. I worked at an ice cream place one summer, serving cones and sodas to other kids who had money to spend. I worked in agriculture, picking grapes, I worked at a dry cleaner's pressing clothes using one of those large steam pressers. Hell, I even have a copy of American Graffiti that I love to watch, reminding me of a time I loved. A time when even kids could afford a car, afford gasoline to be able to cruise around with our friends on a Friday or Saturday night. Cars that were not these plastic Tupperware death traps made of plastic. Cars made of real metals and every guy could be a backyard mechanic, not having to use a damned computer to see what the engine needed to make it run. So, yes, I too can be quite nostalgic once in a while.

When I was a teenager and young adult, America got involved in that quagmire we called The Vietnam War. I cannot look back without admitting that was not a great, nostalgic time, not really. My friends and I were pissed off that our government had the power to abolish slavery, only to revive it again in the form of a draft. Forcing too many of my generation to fight a war we did not agree with. The only thing anyone might be able to find on a positive not about that war and the previous wars, was they did create jobs. Unlike today when war has been privatized and only a very few companies profit from it.

Today companies and state governments ( because the lobbyists pay our government) to destroy unions have destroyed most of them. At least our fathers and grandfathers had common sense. Sense in the form of knowing large companies would never ever give the workers any rights out of the goodness of their hearts, anymore than slave owners gave slaves they owned, any rights. Those rights had to be fought for. I have seen an entire generation (lacking common sense) destroy those very unions that help us live a better life. They have simply handed over their power, as workers, to heartless corporations without blinking an eye.

This is a generation that has embraced technology. Why? Why do so many love their gadgets? Well technology does have the ability to make life easier. It's a two edged sword. While making life easier ( and making us fatter and physically lazier) it also has the ability of robbing us of the jobs we need to support ourselves and our families. Technology, in small doses, makes life nice, but unfortunately we have saturated the entire planet with it. Technology, when used for good, helps us. We saw in this past Presidential election, it also can be inherently evil. Now it has run so rampant we don't know how to curb it. I walk into a grocery store and find they have replaced the clerks with self-checkouts. 'Self-checkouts' what a nice surgically sterile name for 'we have destroyed peoples' jobs). Now I'm supposed to check out my own purchases, which technically makes me destroy a clerk's job, technically making me an employee without the benefit of a paycheck. No thanks. While loving our gadgets, we have successfully destroyed our jobs too. We have done it to ourselves. So no longer do our fathers, brothers and sisters even have jobs to go to every day.

Guys, women don't want what you've been dishing out

2017-10-23T09:09:00.002-07:00

This blog is not for every guy, just the guys who don't seem to get it. Believe me, there are plenty of them out there.

I love, love, love when guys say: "I just don't understand women." What is there to understand? Women are people, just as guys are people. Ever stop to think maybe you might not want to be treated as you treat women then? Or: " Nice guys finish last." Well maybe they don't finish last and so maybe you are not the nice guy you think you are.

Here's what women get rankled about:

1) Guys who will pursue a woman, even if she is not interested. Some guys feel like they have to win like it's a game. I remember telling some guys:" I'm really not interested." Only to have them keep begging me to go out, then to have them decide, later on, they were not interested, except in winning. Guys, your ego that fragile? Yet people think women are the weaker sex. That behavior pisses most women off to the hilt.

2) "You live too far away." Well guys, you knew distance was a factor when you started. Right? So if you lose interest, women appreciate if you are honest and just admit you aren't interested. Stop making up some crap to get off the hook. We women know that is a poor excuse. Most of us women are really not that stupid.

3) Stop trying to pick women up in bars. Seriously. Most women know you are likely married or living with a girlfriend anyway. I recall a guy once saying, in a bar: "But my wife doesn't understand me." Well, Fella, that makes two of us then. Why in hell you in a bar, drinking, alone, when your wife or girlfriend sits home alone?

4) Be honest in your profile. Seriously, placing an online profile up there then at the very least, be honest. Actually state what you are looking for and what you expect. You expect some top model? (Good luck there) But at least be honest and say so. This way, women with brains will steer clear of you anyway. It's only fair. "I want and expect a babe" would be the honest thing to be up front about.

5) Sent recent pictures that are not photo shopped too. A woman deserves to see who she is really talking to. This would be common sense, but I realize common sense is Not a flower that grows in Every garden.

6) Don't send pictures of some personal body parts either. Any woman Worth having is Not going to like that one bit. So also Decide if you Are looking for a woman worth keeping or just looking for a fling. Not nice to lead someone on if you aren't serious about wanting a permanent mate either. Also I'd file under common sense, but well.

7) So you don't see fireworks and skyrockets when you meet? Remember, be friends first because friends always make for good and lasting relationships. Love grows over time, if you give it a chance. That other crap is good for reading in romance novels, not real life.

8) When dating at least Ask what she likes, doesn't like or just ask her to tell you about herself. Don't be so conceited that you dominate the conversation only telling her about you.

9) Do not look at your cell phone in the middle of a conversation either. Just rude. It makes you look like the king of nothing and you cannot keep your many subjects waiting. Turning it off completely would be a wise choice.

10) Do not mention your ex either. No one wants to hear why you broke up. For pity sake, never say your ex is crazy, even if she is. Why? Because just because you didn't get along, it might be just that you were not suited for each other. Women hate when you cut up an ex, right off the bat. Save that conversation for years later, if you are still together.

13) Look the woman in her eyes when talking to her. It gives the impression you actually give a shit about her response.

14) Always look your best when seen with her. This also may be common sense, but a lot of guys don't always get it.

15) Have a sense of humor. Women like guys who can really laugh at things. No woman likes a guy who is too serious all the time.

These are starters as to understanding women. Most of us women are dumb founded as to Why some guys act as they do toward us, so guys, get your act together and wise up. We women are human beings too, just as you are. How do you want to be treated today?

The Trouble with Penn Yan New York

2017-09-27T09:49:00.001-07:00

Penn Yan schools are facing low enrollment lately. Is it any wonder why? Penn Yan has become an area where jobs have all but left yet rent and home prices continue to soar beyond the reach of the average family.

I moved to Penn Yan in 1970 when it was once a great place to live, work and raise a family. Any towns not open to attracting families will, in my opinion, eventually become just a shell of it's former self. Exactly what is happening to Penn Yan. When rentals are $1,100 a month and yet the area offers no decent paying jobs, then families will not move here. There is nothing but high prices and low paying jobs these days.

Where would a person work? Some low paying service related hotel job? A low paying waitress job? A low paying nurse aide job? None of these jobs pay nearly enough to support a family on. Seriously, Penn Yan.

What used to be here? MICHAELS-STERN & CO.: Was a clothing company, employing many people in Penn Yan. They closed their doors in the late 1970's.

Penn Yan Express was once a thriving trucking business in Penn Yan, NY. No more.

Penn Yan Boats, no more. Left, taking jobs from Penn Yan.

We once had a nice Super Duper grocery store, now since its closing, we have nothing there but an abandoned building, hoping for a buyer. Good luck there.

Lowns was once a very nice department store in Penn Yan, then it became a nice place of booths to buy charming items. Wonderful place for tourists to shop too. No more.

Since 1970 I've seen businesses dwindle in Penn Yan, housing prices reach sky high, and no more affordable places, especially houses to rent that might attract families wanting to raise kids here. Sad, but true. No wonder Penn Yan school enrollment is fading. In 1970 there were so many families raising kids here the school district ended up building several elementary schools. Now the Branchport one was sold to some business that simply neglects the grounds and cannot seem to mow their grass. That business has ruined the once immaculate grounds. Nothing but a weed patch lives there these days.

In the 1990's you could, any given day in summer, go to Red Jacket Park and it would be teeming with multiple families. cooking out, swimming and people actually boating on Keuka Lake. Now, any given day, anytime of year, and the parks are all but dead, devoid of families doing anything anymore. So sad. There is a new building that says: Penn Yan Tourism on it sitting next to a park that contains no tourists anymore.

Penn Yan is a nice town, but the powers that be here have no clue how to attract families with kids anymore. They do not even know how to attract jobs that pay enough to pay your rent or even buy food. So sad. What happened, Penn Yan?

If you think you will become Lake Placid, well, I sincerely doubt you will.

Say what? I wasn't listening

2017-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

I love this Maya Angelou saying because it really does sum up every parent out there. Kids never come with instructions so, each of us, as parents, struggle through life never knowing if we are doing the right thing or not. Parenting can be overwhelming for all of us at times. As parents, I think one of our biggest frustrations is trying to help our adult kids to keep from making the exact same mistakes we made. Yes, yes, experience tells us it's a losing battle.

This feat is much, much easier said then done. It also makes me laugh when my adult kids say to me: "But my kids just never listen to me." My response is always: "Well you never listen to me, so why do you think your kids will be any different?" Yet we somehow do think our next generation will be different, only to discover they are not.

As adults we like to always think our parents didn't raise us right anyway. We grow up and think we will raise our kids much, much better, then reality sets in once the kids come along. You know reality? It's that shit that gets in our way and kind of crushes our good intentions sometimes. When we are teens we think: "I'll let my kid go to that all night party with people I don't know. Geesh, parents are so not trusting of my judgement." LOL

We are survivors of the shit creek experiences we've lived through. We probably didn't listen to our parents either. Why? Well we all think our parents grew up with dinosaurs. So they are prudes, not with it, olden times junk, where they were prudes. They never thought about sex, drugs or rock and roll. They were born grownup and just are out of touch with what young people experience.

Some kids as adults, like to be martyrs. For instance, if they go through a difficult divorce, they think they are the only ones who have ever experienced heartbreak. The only ones who struggled as single parents. After all, each generation thinks it invented sex and love. What we, as parents, did in our spare time, I have no idea. Like for example, me, myself. I never had a bad divorce. I never had to leave my once home with only the things I could carry. I never moved into my first apartment, with two little kids, having no furniture, not even one bed. I guess if we parents were never in love, our kids must think we simply had some kind of bad business deal just to set up housekeeping until it failed.

Somehow, adult kids have the notion that we, as parents, are bound to always try to ruin their lives, especially with advice. They think we have anything but their best intentions at heart. I guess we are cruel people, we just never knew it till the adult kids come along. Yet, somehow, they do think a bad boyfriend, girlfriend, or bad spouse, always has their back and always have their best intentions at heart. In high school they always think their peers, the ones no older than they are, with no more experience than they have,must have better information about life. Information that usually turns out to be false, simply because friends have lived no longer.

You know, we, as parents probably hate their choices for partners, just because they picked them. LOL Whenever we give advice, we just don't understand their situations, even though we have been in similar situations and know what the outcome will be. I'm always shocked because do I have to step in front of a truck on the highway to know I can be hurt or killed? I sincerely hope not, yet adult kids have to toss themselves under that bus in order to understand that fact. Why do they do it? Well, that is the age old question.

Remember, as parents, you just didn't live. You simply sat in a corner, you were model kids and never, never did anything wild in your lives. Wow I think our parents just might have a different opinion on how we acted as kids. LOL

"AS kids we think our parents are always on our backs. When, in fact, they were probably the only ones who ever truly had our backs." Author Unknown

I am old lady

2017-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

Available on: Amazon, Kindle and
Barnes&Noble.com

Yes, I will admit I'm not a spring chick anymore. When I arose this morning, I was able to wander around my house at five in the morning. I turned on my computer, made a pot of coffee and played with my cats. I was able to look out my window to see what kind of a day it was going to be and I pretty much was able to 'do my own thing,' as they say.

It may not sound like such a big deal, but if you are living in a traditional nursing home, believe me, this kind of freedom is as 'big of a deal' as you're going to get. I wasn't made to get out of bed at six in the morning, I chose to get up at five and if I didn't want to get up, I didn't have to. In a nursing home you will be forced to get out of bed for breakfast at six in the morning. Why? Well it's always, always for staff convenience.

When I was a nurse aide, I was told: 'We have to get them up and ready because the day shift will get mad if we don't.' So screw the day shift is my response. The day shift has 'so much to do already.' So? They get paid for their efforts. (Even though I know nurse aids don't get paid near enough for all they do) I have worked the day shift and yes, people have appointments, they need breakfast and it's pretty busy. But that still doesn't warrant dragging my old ass out of bed at that god awful hour, especially since all night I've probably already been poked and prodded, so now I've had very little sleep. No wonder I'd be groggy and upset at being drug from my warm bed. The night shift people would hurriedly dress those old people, all the while saying: "Come on, we have to be in the dining room shortly." Many elderly balk at being hurried. Hell, you'd think they had some damned job to get to, instead of paying big bucks to be hurried and shuffled to the dining room like so much cattle. Traditional nursing homes are full of damned rules. Rules that, for the most part, are quite meaningless in my book.

Once they do get into the dining room, they are greeted by nurses with med carts. Now nowhere on any prescription bottles I've ever gotten, does it say: 'To be takes in a large group at times convenient only to nursing staff.' My bottles say: 'To be taken at XYZ time of day.' That medication is supposed to be individualized, for that particular patient. But, remember, all of this is for staff convenience only. Which pretty much assures that I'm no longer an individual. Just part of a herd of cattle. Kind of like when a farmer milks cows the same time, all at once, in a big group, every day.

When it's time to shower, also for staff convenience, you will be wheeled into a stall, and the experience? Well more akin to a car wash than any showers I take in my home. That Big shower wand, it gets lifted from its holder and a waterfall of water is washed over your head, your face,your eyes, your body. I'm sure this might be how water boarding feels like. Getting old and showering, equals torture. Now imagine, if you will, you have dementia and have no idea what's going on. I'm sure you would be combative too.

Today I'm going to the local store to pick up some things I need. In a nursing home, especially the one I worked at as a Social Worker, a place that doesn't even own a van for such trips; that is also a big deal. That nursing home feels it's too big of an expense to have a van to take people to the stores. Too expensive to own, even though that facility, as all nursing homes, rake in billions of dollars. But, gosh, don't spend any of those big bucks on people living there.

So as you go about your day, just think of all the little freedoms you are enjoying. Remember, those freedoms will evaporate if you have to ever live in a traditional nursing home.

Mommy, I miss you

2017-01-22T04:27:00.001-08:00

My Mom and Dad's fiftieth

My parents picture on their fiftieth anniversary. The title of this blog probably fits many children who no longer have their moms in their lives. I loved my Dad very much, but, as a girl, I have to admit, I was much closer to my Mom than my Dad. I was 'adopted' by my grandparents, but they ARE my Mom and Dad always because it takes More than giving birth to a child to be Mom. Experts like to say: "psychological parent' and I, for one, know exactly what that means. The Mom who held you, nursed you when you were sick and who hugged you and went to school functions, even when she knew it might be boring, but acted like you were a genius, is the Mom you have in your head and heart, forever.

I was just 31 years old when my Mom died. I always thought I'd have her forever, or at least much longer, but didn't. This picture of their anniversary is and always will be, special to me. Not just because it was their anniversary, but also because This day started me on a personal journey. A journey of finally growing into the woman I am today. A strong, confident woman who finally likes who she has become.

I didn't know this day was going to be the day I started to grow, personally, spiritually, and more maturely but it was. How? Well I had a horrible first marriage. I was married to that creep when this picture was taken. My ex, at the time, always tried to drive a wedge between me and my parents. Little did I know, I wouldn't allow that from anyone. Frankly, anyone who tries to do that, is a shit of a human being, much less a shit of a spouse. This day of celebration, my ex tried to tell me I could not go there. He was, of course as always, too busy to ever attend anything with his family. A family he never appreciated and he never deserved anyway. My first three kids were little. I dressed them got in my car and we went to this special day that I knew would never happen again and was determined my kids and I would attend. I will forever cherish this picture of them till the day I die. When the kids and I got home, the jerk ex was waiting to pick a fight over it. This was probably the first time I decided to tell my ex to kiss my ass. I was close to Mom and he, nor anyone else was going to keep me from her or from Dad. By standing my ground, my ex (sociopath that he was), realized he wasn't going to control my every move anymore. I slowly began to mature as a woman and was from then on, headed on a path of being myself.

My Mom's funeral was the second milestone to telling my ex to kiss my ass. He was never there for me emotionally or otherwise as he was too busy being a big baby all his life. When I saw, once again, what a worthless husband he was, I started to loathe him as a person. More and more each day, until I finally got divorced. BTW, my wedding was not the happiest day of my life, the day my divorce was final was.

Most of us miss our moms, especially during trying times in life. Another time was when my Dad died. No one to comfort me over that, so I suffered alone pretty much. When my Dad died, then a few short weeks later, I realized how half my brother's and sisters were shit human beings too. Funny, you think family can be trusted, it can be true, until it's not. There were three out of a slew of us kids, 8 to be exact, that I could trust. The rest were greedy and I brushed off and over 40 years time I have cared not one iota what has happened to them and never will. Sad, but a parent's death tends to bring out the worst in too many families. Many people find this out the hard way.

Yet another time I missed my Mom was when I got divorced. Yes it was the shittiest of marriages. But divorce is hard, you grieve just like someone or something died. It's because something has died. Why I grieved is because I realized he was never then, nor ever going to be, a decent parent. He never was a decent husband, so you grieve for the lost hopes you once had that he would become, at the very least, a decent human being. That never happened either. I missed my Mom because I wanted, in the trying times, to hug her, to tell her I hurt, to talk to her and have the one person in my life, who, up to that point, would tell me how she loved me unconditionally, as her daughter, as her child.

I missed her when the two youngest kids and I moved into an apartment with no furniture. I wanted her to assure me I'd be strong and would be alright. We were OK, but it was a hard, rough road, yet it made me a stronger person, a person who would show empathy forever for other humans who hurt.

The next time I missed her terribly, was when my ex (shit person that he was) went to school and took my youngest son to his house, refusing to let me see him until we went to family court, which was more than three months later. Family court is a nightmare in itself. Assholes like him Never deserve a decent wife nor kids anyway. That abuser (what Kind of a decent father would use his kid to punish mom anyway?) decided to sue me for custody. I fought him in court and won. It's made me a stronger person in life. Hatred of another person tends to do that for you.

Mommy, I went on to college to become a Social Worker. I was determined to do that because I knew from the empathy you always taught me, I could be a good Social Worker and I was and am. Mommy I wished you could have been at my wedding to my present husband. A husband you would be proud of for a son-in-law. A man who loves me unconditionally, just as I am (something the first husband never did) a husband who treats me so special I'm happy every day of my life now for the past 19 years. Mommy I miss you more than you'll ever know.

Mommy I never knew how hard it was to be a mom until I raised my own kids. They don't come with instructions and we All have to learn it and wing it as best we can. You weren't a perfect parent, Mom, but I now realize you had a tough job and did the best you could and you filled any voids I had as a kid, with much, much love. Mommy, my own kids know I was never perfect. But I hope they know I couldn't love them more. They too, Mommy, don't listen to my advice, as I'm sure, I didn't listen to yours always either. But now some of my kids have kids who don't listen to them either. I guess we all have to learn the hard way, they might not ever know we, as Mom's, only want the best for them and we only give advice to save them from the heartaches we have been through. I'm convinced saving them from heartaches as adults is next to impossible anyway. But I love them unconditionally too, as you did me. May my kids forgive me for once being young, scared, inexperienced at this Mom thing and one day understand I Never meant to hurt them, if I did.

Once she's 'married off'

2017-01-05T05:13:00.000-08:00

The title of this blog was my parents' mantra. In the late 60's it was just what society expected of young women. Get them married off so they can raise a family and be 'taken care of.'

I'm considering writing a book about my life with a true narcissist. Why did I linger for 16 years? Good question, I ask myself that all the time, even to this day. I may write that book, but for now I am hoping this blog will help women (some at least) to leave the narcissist. Because I now know, you won't get any better from them today or tomorrow than you already have gotten. Most of us humans live in denial, denial we will not grow old and die and the biggest denial is: I can rescue him from himself. I'm a good person and so I will try to see good in him. Forget it, get out, get out now, and if you are just dating, end it. Nip it in the bud, they will not now, nor Ever change. Not for you, not for anyone. If you've already lingered too long, I do not judge you. I understand, but I hope you will save yourself and leave or kick him to the curb.

My narcissist was so good at fooling Everyone, he pulled off convincing the VA he was damaged by the Vietnam War, and had PTSD, that it was service related. Not so, not all of it anyway. I think the Vietnam War made him worse, for sure, but he was a narcissist way before the War, I'm certain of it. All I can say is: "Leave them, leave them now."

1) They will damage you in some way

2) If you have children, they will damage the kids. No matter how you may try to buffer the damage, no matter how you try to insulate them, you cannot.

3) Many narcissists have at least one, or both, parents that are narcissistic too. Probably brother and sisters who may or may not be. Trust me on this one.

4) A lot of times you will hear from outsiders: "Gee he's sensitive, but doesn't seem mean." Remember, those people do not live in your household.

5) If you are an empath, (narcissists love empaths to death, not really love them, but love to jerk them around, they will try to devour you. Chew you up and spit you out. Over and over.

6) You won't have much fun with a narcissist because they claim: "I just cannot handle crowds." Meaning, it's extremely hard for them to fool large groups of people at once. They prefer to stay home and not mingle with people. Isolation of you and the kids is high on their priority list. Divide and conquer is their motto.

7) Usually it's not about your family, specifically parents, because they don't recognize you have any friends or relatives anyway. They will refuse to visit them and kick the shit out of you (verbally or physically) if you visit your parents without them.

8) They act like assholes and if you say one damned thing in protest, you become the reason they act like they do. You bring out the worst in them. If only you would change, they would be fine. Bull shit!

9) 'If only you did things right.' Impossible because nothing you do will ever be 'right' to them. Even if you have a semi-nice day, all you can do is wait for the other shoe to drop, and it will.

10) Forget most holidays with them. They will find some way to ruin it for you.

11) When dating anyone, observe how they act in ALL situations. Usually they will bitch about their family of origin, narcissistic men will bitch about how awful their Mom is. Funny thing about this one though, they hate Mom, but once married will spout off to you ALL the things their Mom hates about you. That's a big part of gas lighting on their part too. Making you question your sanity, when in fact, they are the insane one.

12) They hate their kids too. They will tell Everyone how their kids 'abuse them' when in fact the kids don't care to walk into the jaws of a lion. The kids steer clear of them as adults. But to a narcissist, they are the ones at fault, since narcissists insist they have No faults. They treat the adult kids like shit and bitch the kids don't want to see them. Gee, can't imagine why.

13) Not nice to speak ill of the dead, but, my ex is dead now. Suicide because to a narcissist, this is the ultimate revenge to their family. My narcissist was an asshole in death as well in life. He left his house and Everything to some fly by night care provider he'd known for less then two years. Just to finish being the selfish asshole he WAS in LIFE as in DEATH. I'm not going to speak well of him anymore in death as I did in life. Why would I? He does Not deserve such courtesy. I wanted to punch him in the throat in life and if I could when he died, I'd DO IT. Judge me as you wish, YOU did not live with him. Ever!

This is simply a partial list of the nightmare of living with a narcissist. Yes, you are young (or maybe not so young) and you don't know much about this behavior when dating. They will be oh so charming when dating, will shower you with gifts, profess undying love and devotion to you. But, guess what, they have to because they are smart enough to know, No One will usually be sucked in by their normal meanness. So watch for that trait. The next blog, I will explain how I finally was able to recognize these types when dating and simply dropped them like a hot potato. I'm hoping this will help some of you ditch your narcissist because to save yourself, you Must do it.

So I'm a Veteran

2017-01-01T04:38:00.001-08:00

Available on: Amazon, Kindle and Barnes&Noble.com

I still, no matter what, think being a Veteran is an accomplishment to be proud of, but. I say 'but' for a reason. Sometimes, my once fellow brothers in arms, never cease to mystify me, especially in this new political arena. Many, many of them once watched our backs in a war climate, yet here we are fifty years later and now many of them are supporting the backs of people who Still don't care about their well being. THAT mystifies me to no end.

Since Vietnam, which next to the American Civil War, was and still is, the most unpopular War in this country's history. Still unpopular with our American government, so much so, I do not see where America is really grateful for our service whatsoever. Not even to this day.

I've lived to see things like: "We need to stop communism in Vietnam before it spreads."(1960's) "Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree" (1990's) And, most recently on Facebook: "Support Our Troops." (20016) I've learned that ALL are just slogan campaigns to encourage sending our young men to their deaths. Gotta stir up patriotism Somehow, I suppose.

Since it's been said Russia meddled in America's voting process and since it has been said, our new head person has basically allowed Russia to 'walk right through America's front door' then I've been wondering 'why in Hell Did we go to Vietnam?' No one really seems to touch that question, much less come up with a reasonable explanation.

So WHY did my 'used to be brothers in arms' vote for people who would just as soon forget them as to look at them? Was there something I missed when I thought we were still loyal to those who were oh so hell bent on stopping communism from reaching America? Were they really concerned about that or did they become so jaded along the way, I am now shaking my head in awe of their not even being loyal to their own well being, much less their fellow Veterans? I'm not angry, simply mystified and deeply saddened when it comes to what appears to me, as a sudden turn of events about their thinking process.

People, these days, come up to me on the streets, in restaurants and stores, saying: "Thank you for your service." Well fifty years in coming still seems like a very long time to me. What does one say when people's feelings appear to sway with the wind on a particular century or year? Should I now be grateful for once being spat upon, the once 'we hate you' form of gratitude in 1970, to now, 'thank you for your service?' Especially when it looks like we did not keep communism out of American government? (BTW I wear my 'Vietnam Vet' hat because I'm still proud to be a veteran.

Sad to see: In 1960's the American military could not even buy the better made, Chinese rifles to save our lives in Vietnam. To now if it isn't Chinese made, you cannot even purchase it in America. Well, I for one, can see clearly that in ANY war, the American young person, always, always from poorer families, is and always will be, nothing more than cannon fodder to a government who cares so little for their own cause they make sure They nor their privileged children, will ever pick up a weapon. They just keep sending poor kids, since I suppose we are expendable to them. Funny, our parents didn't and still don't, think we are expendable. When I see 'All lives matter" I Still think: 'Who's lives we talkin?"

So all in all, I loved my brothers in arms, but do not recognize any of them in the year 2016 nor will recognize them any better in 2017. Just some food for thought.

Traditional nursing homes really DO suck

2016-12-31T03:51:00.000-08:00

This has become my number one best seller, in my writing world anyway. Maybe more people are waking up to the fact that at $1,500 a week for room and board, they are not getting what they pay for, at least their loved ones are not.

As long as the Medical Model is still practiced in traditional nursing homes, there is NO good quality of life for the people living there. Living there is just another phrase for: being trapped there. Yes, a traditional nursing home, touting the Medical Model will always, always, be run for the convenience of staff, and staff alone.

My son recently needed antibiotics, as I was reading the label, it started me thinking, again, about how staff dispense medicines in traditional nursing homes. Nowhere on my son's prescription did it state: Dispense however you please. You can dispense in a group all at the same time, for staff convenience. The label has specific instructions as to when and how the medicine should be taken. The nursing home I once worked was willy-nilly about dispensing medicine at Every breakfast, to Every patient at the Same time daily. This is not right, no matter how you slice it. I once suggested maybe medicine cabinets in each room would be best. I was told that anyone could then get the medicines. Well there is a wonderful invention called a padlock to cure that. Translation from nurses: "Well Then we'd actually Have to do our jobs properly and it might take time, effort and caring on our part." You should not be surprised because given the human warehouses these places are, the let's herd old people like cattle, mentality of nursing homes, it makes sense. To THEM anyway.

Another funny thing I noticed while working there, was the sole owner was older than dirt, himself. For the most part he had Nothing nice to say about old people. People who live in glass houses. But since 'older than dirt owner' had money, HE didn't relate to those in his peer group. Funny how that works.

This book Should be a good seller, especially to college Social Work classes because Social Work does not come from books. Social Work comes from real life, real world experiences. When I was about to graduate from college, many, many students said: "But college has Not taught me Everything I Need to know about this profession." They were right, it cannot possibly teach you ALL you will need to know. This book is a good teaching tool unless instructors are afraid the truths in this book will scare students. It Should scare students because it should keep them on their toes. It should teach them about human dignity. It should teach them about old people being human too, not just cattle to herd and shuffle to activities, to showers resembling a car wash, to dispensing medicines all at once to everyone (contrary to label instructions), and to Stop bullshitting loved ones at care plan meetings. Teach them that, while nurses Love to be head cheeses, they DO NOT know it all about your loved one. YOU are That expert on that subject because you've known your loved one Longer than ANY staff. Staff NEEDS to LEARN that nurse aids Should be invited to care plan meetings Because They Are the primary caregivers, NOT nurses who mostly push medications. So I'm grateful this book has picked up with sales. If Anyone Cares in our society, then the Truths in this book will be of concern to all.

To those who have bought my book and read it, I thank you. To those of you who have not, you Should as one day YOU Too will be old.

Hail to Vietnam Veterans

2016-11-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

Government response to PTSD:
"Get over it, it doesn't exist, it's all about me."

Vietnam Vet's response: "No we aren't going to just let it be"

Government response: " There is nothing wrong that we can see"

Vietnam Vets response: "Hell no, you won't diss ME. Our brothers in arms are suffering, you see."

The government's wail to silence the Vietnam Vets, comes to no avail. Vietnam Veterans persistence we all should hail.

Vietnam Vets: "I feel like there is a demon on my tail"

Government response: "It's all in your head."

Vietnam Vets response: "No it's not, it is ruining my life, enough said."

Vietnam Vets: "You let us down long enough. Why oh why does the government wail? Oh yeah, follow the money trail. A payout of disability you might have to pay. So, 'shut your mouths' you love to say. No welcome home, no real VA benefits, you act like we're all giving you fits. You treat us all as a group of misfits. You called us to arms, we answered that call. Those who didn't volunteer, you ripped from their homes, leaving mothers in tears. 'Land of the free' HA, In the form of the draft, indentured servitude, Making many fight for Thee. So be it, but some things we refuse to just 'let it be' It's serving all our brothers and sisters, can't you see?"

Vietnam Vets: Is this how a nation is grateful. Being rude to us and hateful? That is not how it should be, we will never forget. So our persistence is all about you, you and you, then maybe me."

Hail to Vietnam Veterans who refused to let their brothers in arms down. Their motto: "We're all in this together." They wore it like a crown. The government told them to 'go fight' and they did, with all of their might. They returned home and the government said: "Now get out of our sight." They got home thinking their fight was done, little did they know, back in The World, the fight had just begun. 'All lives matter' today they like to say. Well Vietnam Vet's lives matter too, they fight the good fight, for you and you. I say to the Vets: "Jolly good for you."

Available on: Amazon, Kindle and Barnes&Noble.com

A war called Vietnam

2016-10-20T09:14:00.001-07:00

I fought a war called, Vietnam
I then came home to be spat upon
Now I hear Welcome home"
Where in hell were you when I was alone?

Wars they come, wars they go
We're older now, does it show?
We've learned, we say
Today is a new day
America must have an attention problem

Concentrate on a new day
America's answer?
"Hey a new country for our war to play"
Attention span is a might short
"A new war" is America's retort

I see, "Support our troops'
I guess violence and carnage are our roots
"We really prefer peace"
Until chickens once again come home to roost

More young people with innocent faces
Sent to kill and be killed in foreign places
"They need more children, Honey'"
"Since we've learned war brings big money"

Off to another war they go
Backpacks and guns in toe
Will they return?
No one for sure can know

No one knows till the die is cast
Not until this war is in our past
But we do already know
This war will not be our last

America dusts off it's killing machine
Again and again
In the future your children they will send
America's blood thirst will never end

Oh Mom and Dad make it end
Ignore the lies
Tell them your kids you won't send
Stop showing up, again and again

Think not sending them is unpatriotic?
Our kids being killed in foreign lands is not exotic
War is simply chaotic
America, you need a tonic

Snap out of it, get well
They say 'war' you say, 'go to hell'
In too many wars, in too many lands they fell
America, heal, time to get well

When will America wake up?

2016-10-12T05:21:00.000-07:00

What in hell happened to America is beyond me. We failed, as parents, to teach our kids any Real sense of value and thrift? We failed, as Americans, to keep the wolves of Wall Street out of politics so now we are all raped of our decency and a just plain decent living? We failed to keep unions in tact because we were stupid enough to believe employers would do 'the right thing'? Probably all of the above.

So when is a damned vehicle worth $30,000, $40,000, $50,000 and way on up the line? Please! Cars that are nothing more than Tupperware on wheels. Why do cars need all those computer gadgets? Well, because a new generation of technology enthusiasts who really are suckers enough to believe technology, big brother watching and controlling us everywhere, is a good thing? Gadgets are needed, by car manufacturers, so they can charge you to hook up to a machine, to replace sensors at the tune of $400 or more and to sucker you into believing you need a light car to go 120 miles per hour, or more, on city streets. We all are trying out for the Indy 500? No, we are trying to just kill people on roads and streets because we have a sense of 'entitlement' not ever seen in the history of America. Welcome to the 21st century.

When is a house, sufficient to raise a small family in, worth $300,000, $500,000 or more? Especially when most Americans don't make near that much in a crummy job in America? America, I'd like to slap you all upside your head and say: "Snap out of it."

Do you all think you are 'Temporarily embarrassed millionaires'? What you are, is delusional.

Do you have any idea of how sick and tired I am of logging into Facebook and having some Schmuck comment on something I've said because he/she doesn't agree? Oh, not any intelligent comments either. Comments they share because, like many Americans, they think their selfish asses are the only important ones? They make me sick to my stomach. My gag reflex kicks in. Didn't 'Mama' do her job and teach you any empathy at all? This is the new age, what new age? The one where you all not only have no empathy, you can't even define the word's meaning. An age where America allows Washington, D.C. to open the flood gates and elect millionaires who don't care if you or I have a pot to piss in. A new age where Facebook people say: 'Support our troops', acting like some armchair generals do in the military. Easy to say from your easy chair. For God's sake, don't get off your collective asses and break a damned sweat.

Why are gas prices on the rise again? Well, because you and I get to pay for billionaire oil companies oil spills. We get to pay for their screw ups. Do you see any alternative energy sources being utilized in big droves in America? Hell, no, because you all, again, post on social media instead of getting off your asses now or ever. Reality bytes, don't it?

Hell people can't even gather in person, meeting their friends, or finding dates. No, no, they have to use, again, technology to text friends or find dates, then get robbed or worse when they do meet up. Lazy shits!

What kind of America adores a Presidential candidate who has proven himself over and over again to be a snake oil salesman and a crook of the highest order? A kind of America I'm ashamed of. A kind of America where real men barely exist. No wonder you can't find any keepers in our society. Men who talk and treat women like shit, like we are their damned slaves. Grow a set, guys!

Take a good look around you. A society where instead of knowing your neighbor, you'd rather shoot them instead.

To sum it up, America, you are quickly becoming a big disgrace and a laughing stock to the entire World. No wonder they all hate us or shake their heads is disgust. Me too!

Something in the air in October? No, Something in the Blood

2016-10-10T04:32:00.000-07:00

Halloween once again. A young girl working a summer job to earn money for her own car. A chance encounter not only helps her get a car, but opens a whole new life for her, one she could never have imagined in a million years. She is enthralled by a group of Goth kids who stop at her job for a soda. She loves how beautiful the girls look, but most of all, she is smitten by the handsome young man who appears to be the group leader. Little does she know she is about to embark on the journey of her young life.

This is a trilogy about not just a young girl falling in love with a guy others see as a killer, but is full of twists and turns and intrigue.

Little does she know an assassin is tracking her new friends, one who is bent on killing every single one of them. Can she help or will she run for cover?

What happens at the very end of book 3? Well you just have to buy them to find out. No spoilers here. All three available on: Amazon, Kindle and at Barnes&Noble.com

Not for the faint of heart, but a trilogy you will be recommending to your friends, young and old.

Domestic violence, the reality of living it

2016-10-06T02:53:00.000-07:00

October is domestic violence awareness month, each year, every year. There was a newscast, today, on our local news station. It's worthy to tell you I live in an ultraconservative state and so the newscast seemed so odd to me.

The article talks about how a person from the YWCA is doing a ride along, once a week, with local cops when called to a domestic situation. The article talks about how cops are usually not sure if it is domestic abuse until they arrive at the scene. To me, a survivor of domestic abuse, that is laughable in a twisted sort of way. Why? Well my present husband and I first moved here in 2001. We owned a police scanner since first coming here to live and even then we knew if the call involved domestic abuse or not, the dispatchers seemed to know too. So why are the cops such a slow study? In an average night, since 2001, we have counted as many as 12 such calls a night. Pretty grim statistics. Another good question is: So for at least 15 years of such calls, where in Hell has anyone been who might have been concerned enough to do something about it in this city?

Don't get me wrong, I think any real concern is a step forward. But, and this is a big but, the reality of getting any good help is pretty much bogus. This conclusion comes not just from my own experience, but the experiences of those I know and from my years as a Social Worker. From the observation that not a lot is offered, and when it is offered, it is so limited that it does not help a lot in those situations.

Example: So a concerned counselor rides with cops on domestic calls, hands out cards, offers some advice, but then what?

Real life experiences: The abused person (usually a woman) uses the card, seeks help and is, more often than not, told there is no room at the women's shelter for her and her kids. Oh, if she has a pet, well they also don't allow pets. So then she decides to seek help, just temporarily, from the Social Services agency in hopes of finding an apartment to get herself and her kids out of the violent situation. Reality: She has more than two kids, landlords say "Oh no, too many kids." So not only is she expected to give up her pet, is she now expected to give up a kid or two also? Apparently.

Reality: Seeking help from Social Services is, in itself, quite the nightmare too. Example: Many places, my present city included, make it very hard to even get a damned appointment to see a Social Services Examiner in the first place. When you do finally get one it usually goes down badly. How? Well they aren't supposed to be judgmental, however they usually are. They don't say it outright, but their attitude sure shows it. If your husband dies, they are like: 'Step on up here, you poor thing.' If the problem is you are being abused, well, it goes like: 'Gawd, you stupid woman, you chose badly. Not only did you choose badly, you are stupid enough to have kids with an abuser.' There's no mistaking that attitude either. Example: Examiner: 'Now you realize I have to justify putting your case ahead of others in order to get you expedited food stamps for you and your kids.' (Never mind the abuser Never allows you to have food money, and maybe has spent every cent for the household on alcohol and/or drugs.) Never mind you would not be applying for food stamps if your kids did not need to eat.

Examiner: 'So you found a landlord to rent to you. The landlord does not require a security deposit, so sorry, we cannot allow that. You must now find a landlord who does require it.' (Never mind it took you a year to find this landlord who's willing to rent to you. So now, due to a stupid and asinine rule, you have to start looking once more.

The help the system offers: My ex-abuser and I had to go to family court once. Well, the stupid judge, upon finding out it was a domestic violence household, ordered me to go to counseling. WTF? I needed counseling to handle abuse? The abuser was never once ordered to counseling. I'd have thought he, at the very least, could have benefited from anger management classes. But no. Hey, white, male, middle class, stupid and ignorant judge person: Knock off the 'boys will be boys' attitude. These Same type of judges are also Why rape laws Never change either. All I can say is: Ladies, step up and pick your abusers. Society, the abuser at home or some stupid judge. Need I say more? When is it ever going to get better? Or are we just going to allow domestic violence awareness to be the cause of the month once a year and nothing more?

For elderly, the vultures will hover

2016-09-16T01:37:00.001-07:00

This past summer, a person dear to me, was admitted to one of the hospitals here in Lafayette, Indiana. It is significant to mention the city and state because hospitals here that were small and cozy have been bought up by corporations. Most all of the nursing homes here have too. The once small, cozy, city hospitals, are now equipped with big machines, staff that try to act caring and the names have changed too. They once had pleasant names like: Home Hospital and St. Elizabeth, names that made you feel warm and fuzzy. Now hospitals, and nursing homes have big, inflated (like their budgets), names to impress people. In my book, those names may as well be: We're big, impersonal, and just want your money. Cities aren't the only places, even small town hospitals have merged in order to make big bucks. Corporations don't buy any hospitals or nursing homes and spend a lot of money to build all new buildings unless they stand to gain an obscene amount of money. Like my book states: These places, especially nursing homes, are a billion dollar industry, make no mistake about it.

The person in this episode went to a doctor here with an infection. Well, well, the doctors here all work under the umbrella of those corporations. I suppose if they don't then they are out of business. Problem here is: Since they are under that umbrella, they, of course, refer as many as possible to the hospital they are affiliated with. Due to the person's infection, there was a procedure that could have easily been performed in the doctor's office. Since the actual doctor was 'all booked up' for over two months, this patient had to see the nurse practitioner to be examined. Well, the procedure required inserting a catheter into a person who happened to be male. I sat in the waiting room that day and I observed many, many male patients. The stupid nurse practitioner stated: "I've never done this procedure on a male before." Not to mention this doctor's office wasn't even equipped with the proper catheter. Are you kidding me? What in hell kind of college did this dunce attend? The whole incident reminded me of the part in Gone With the Wind where Prissy says: "I ain't never birthed no babies, Miss Scarlett." I know it takes pretty extensive training (or is supposed to) in order to obtain nurse practitioner status. But since she had a problem, guess what? Yep, the patient was handed a paper and told to go to the emergency room of the impersonal hospital the office was in cahoots with. Surprise, surprise.

I went too, this whole trip was quite an adventure. Once in the emergency room, your sick ass gets to wait hours for an examining room to open up, once it finally does, you, as a patient, get a needle stuck in your arm only to wait another several hours to see a doctor. Finally someone comes in saying: "Dr So and So has ordered a million tests." Well how in hell do you think the hospital pays for machines that cost a fortune? How in hell do you think they pay for the entire hospital? By inflating your bills. So once the patient is wheeled back and forth for tests ( a nice bumpy ride would make me feel a whole lot better) then they get to wait several more hours for test results. Let me add here that those tests produced nothing unusual and the doctor was sadly disappointed. This patient is over the age of 65 so, in the medical profession's eyes, there damned well is supposed to be more wrong than the infection. A person over 65 who is otherwise healthy, unheard of. These massive hospitals are in the business of 'filling every room with asses' so my person went to the emergency room at four in the afternoon and it was after ten at night (six hours later) that a room finally became free. Oh, before being admitted, the doctor came in and said they'd 'like to admit' this person to the hospital. Ok, I inquired whether the person could go home with a hefty prescription of antibiotics and be able to rest in their own bed. I was told that of course a patient could go home, after all it's not a prison. Since we didn't just say, sure, admit him to the hospital to inflate his bill, the doctor resorted to scare tactics. Having worked nursing homes for a number of years, I'm familiar with those tactics. They went something like this: "I'm not going to say he might have a heart attack if he went home, (I think he already did say exactly that.0 But he will get better care in the hospital." Better care? Seriously.

It played out like this: He had nothing to eat since lunch. Was admitted to the hospital at ten at night and not one person on staff ever once asked him if he would like a sandwich, a nutritious drink, not even a lousy package of crackers and some juice. He got such better care that a nurse came in almost every hour on the hour and woke him to take his pulse, poke and prod and of course this patient rested well.

Finally the next morning, after all of this indignation, the patient asked if he could go home. I walked in his room about that time and said: "I'm a certified nursing assistant and I'm sure he would get much better care at home in his own room as long as his tests were negative." Gee, his battery of tests did come out negative. Imagine that. Number one, never ask if you can go home. Remember you are a paying customer in charge of your own body, even though courts are trying hard to stop you from having those rights. But for now for the most part......you can call the shots concerning your own body. Too many people think doctors are God and they think the doctor always knows best. Not so, you have to be your own champion in health care. When you are not, this is what big pharma counts on, hoping you will take every pill that is prescribed to you, whether that medicine is good for you or not. I've noticed, over the years, simple things many of us experience, have been turned into an affliction in order to sell you a bill of goods so they can make money. Doctors have become the biggest drug pushers in America. Even our televisions are trying to sell us drugs in commercial after commercial. Just be aware and do your own research because I assure you the drug companies are doing theirs.

When asked what type of antibiotic was administered, we were told which one. I said: "Oh yeah, the sort that can cause c-diff." The nurse immediately looked up, almost shocked I knew this. She tried to do damage control saying there were other factors that cause c-diff with these very heavy drugs. No, Folks, these heavy antibiotics can and do cause c-diff on their own quite well. Now, c-diff can cause harsh symptoms for people over 60 years of age and in some cases, can cause life-threatening inflammation. Leave it to the medical professions to try and cure one ailment and then cause ten more for you to deal with. The patient finally did go home that day, after several hours of being ignored when discharged and waiting for assistance to the front door. When we went into the hallway, several people who could be helping, were milling around the nurse's station chit chatting. Nice.

But I think the biggest thing that pissed me off most happened just before I arrived in the patient's room the day he was discharged. A damned vulture had entered his room and said: "Do you have someone at home to take care of you?" You want to know why I was pissed? He is over sixty and I can assure you that if he were twenty, thirty, forty and even fifty, this vulture would have never come into his room to ask that question. For one thing this vulture saw his age and never bothered to check and see if he was capable of getting around on his own. It was an infection, which 24 hours of antibiotics will make you start to feel better. He is ambulatory, able to walk on his own and care for himself. But the vultures (stupid ones anyway) simply see the age and try their best to drum up business. Business for whom, you might ask. For nursing homes and those pesky in-home services that cost a fortune. Simply because, after all, over sixty spells fresh meat and fresh big bucks. All I can say is that vulture can count herself lucky I missed that little visit because she would have been put in her place pretty darned fast. The vultures (maybe even hospitals these days) get kick backs for every elderly person they can prey upon and convince they need help just because they are over a certain age. Nursing homes don't make money either unless they are filled to capacity. So, as I said, they all are trying to fill those beds with asses,their main objective, priority number one.

Book available on: Amazon.com, Kindle and Barnes&Noble.com

A Memorial Day Remembrance

2016-05-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

Cpl William Weathers

Joined the Army at the young age of 14 so he could fight in WW1

Served three years from 1915 - 1918

**************************************************************

Pvt Wilbur P Weathers

Served in WW2

First Infantry Div

Purple Heart,Bronze Star

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Cpl Wilbur L Weathers

Served in the Korean War

25th Infantry Div

Purple Heart

To Hell and back, just get out while you still can

2016-05-14T01:58:00.000-07:00

Some people are simply toxic, toxic to your life, to your existence, to your very soul. There's no getting around it. Every time I look at 'stop child abuse' or 'stop domestic violence' slogans in the world, on streets posting banners and signs, on the news and on social media, I have to feel a bitterness right to my toes. A bitterness that I know people should not feel, but it is there and always will be. We are told not to hate, but how do you stop a train from running?

The idea that domestic violence and even child abuse, has always existed in our society, is a very new notion. Family violence wasn't even recognized until pretty recently. You may think it's been recognized for a long time now, but it hasn't. We still live in a society in America, where it is still very slow to help people who are abused at home. Why, you ask? Well, no one likes to think a person's home is dangerous. People like to think home is where you escape from outside problems. People get uncomfortable because they know it very well could be them and not the other person who is abused in their own home, a place that is supposed to be our sanctuary. Not only does society feel uncomfortable, but your own family scatters, most of the time and does not help you and when family turns a blind eye, well,you get to know who your real family is. Many times your real family members are not your blood relatives.

To make matters worse, people out in the big scheme of things, including some family members, will say: "Gee, he/she didn't seem all that bad." When you hear that shit, always remember, they didn't live with that bitch or son of a bitch. You have to remember they are pretty damned clueless as a group. Remember too, that most abusers are very good at not acting like the assholes they are at home because friends walk away. Harder for their spouses and kids to walk because fear is their primary weapon. Blaming their spouses and kids for their problems is also a big part of their sick, twisted plans to keep you in control. Because for every abuser, control is the name of the game. Even, for many, once control of their spouse has ended, they then turn their attention and lust for control to their kids. Kids, especially when young, are a captive audience and those sick assholes have to control someone, or else their amusement has vanished. So, quite often, husbands or wives who have been the abusers, will use their own kids as pawns.

How do they accomplish that? By raising the kids to believe their mom or dad is the horrible one. Even though the toxic parent is the reason the innocent party had to leave, sick twisted people have to gain control of someone. Woe to the kid who endures this hatred because it feeds the abuser's ego and lust for control. Often, even when grown and they are able to look at things objectively, that grown kid has been so brainwashed by the toxic parent, the kid refuses to act like an adult and investigate if mom or dad was wrong. After all, those kids have been raised to choose sides. Those kind of awful parents are the worst, because they have too feed their evil thirst for control of someone.

Too often a grown kid goes through life saying" "I hold a grudge against mom/dad because they weren't always around." Grow up, Kid. The reason your mom/dad weren't around is because the parent who brainwashed you, made life a living hell anytime they tried to be in your lives. So, again, grow up. Act like an adult and do not judge until you have taken time to know the parent who was driven off by sick, twisted mom/dad in the first place. That toxic parent who raised you is thinking: "I hate my ex for not putting up with my sick shit, so our kids should hate him/her too and take my sick side."

Perpetual thrift shoppers living on a shoestring and still lovin it

2016-04-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

Homemade patio fountain

On Facebook today I was looking at a post from a site I follow. The site talks about growing food not lawns and it extolled the virtues of raising chickens. One reason: 'It's easy' seemed to offend a lot of people. People complained it was 'hard' having to shovel chicken manure, getting too many eggs sometimes and not many other times. Well, yes, it does take some physical labor which squelches that idea of chickens, right there for many people. Chickens do lay a lot of eggs in spring and summer and taper off in winter months. Hell, I didn't blame them, I wouldn't want to lay eggs in cold weather either. That's why a lot of eggs sometimes and fewer at other times. Geesh.

I have to laugh at people. I've raised not only chickens, but goats and rabbits, never finding any of them to be hard to care for. I've raised large vegetable gardens as well, to feed my family. Yes, yes, it takes a fair amount of physical labor which seems to be dirty words these days. By shoveling all that fertilizer, I had one of the best gardens in my entire life, both flowers and food.

Right now we live in the city. But it is a place where we can have a vegetable garden and lots of pretty flowers, all using a lot of physical labor to achieve. Last year we trucked in some excellent topsoil to create our vegetable garden. A small garden, yet it produced more than enough food for our needs, all winter long. A neighbor behind our fence stopped by to compliment us on our lovely vegetables and since we had plenty, we shared cucumbers and zucchini with him. He said he was watching us as we assembled the plot and it looked like a lot of work. Uh Huh Again with the a lot of work statement.

Our garden in its infant stage

When I was working in an office, I recall many coworkers saying how they had to get to the gym to workout. Me? I simply would go home, change, work in my gardens and relieve much of the day's stress. Aren't workouts at a gym hard work? At home, I can dig, hoe and lean on my tool's handles, watch the birds, breathe the air and relax. I could never do that on a damned treadmill. I cannot understand paying 'only $30 a month' (by the way, that is over $300 a year to get exercise, when my exercises can produce pretty and useful items, not just sweat and line the pocket of a fitness club.

I understand that some city people cannot have a garden in those worthless housing developments. Why in hell do you think it's the reason we never would live there? The Housing dictator people won't allow clothes lines much less something useful like a vegetable garden. Yeah, I wanna buy a house where a committee dictates to me what I can and cannot have in my yard that I pay for. I think not. We did rent a place for three years where we couldn't have vegetable gardens and we gained weight sitting on our asses. We decided: Enough, and moved to a place where we can have a garden. Well in the past year, eating mostly our own organic produce, I've lost over 40 pounds and feel great again. Without paying $30 a month so some gym can pay for all that unnecessary equipment. We aren't allowed to have chickens in the city, but are fortunate enough to live in an older house that was once a farm. You know, before the city grew and all this progress took over. The soil is very rich and fertile and we grow some very pretty flowers from seed.

This is the first year we purchased a small tiller, but much of the soil we have turned over with shovels. I laugh because as we travel around this city, there are acres and acres of lawns and no gardens. Why? The really funny part is people here are often too lazy to even mow their grass. It's gotten so bad the city counsel has to send city trucks around to check and then mail people letters to mow their lawns. If not mowed then the city fines them $50 and if still not mowed, the city mows it and charges $100 for that. How pathetic is it that people no longer have ambition to even mow? I guess I'm mystified by a generation too lazy to exert much more energy than thumb exercises on cell phones and video games. Wake up!

Flowers in our yard grown from seed

So yes, I laugh at people who have to buy yoga pants and go to a gym, pay gym fees and say 'raising chickens is a lot of work.' Well, duh!

The vegetable garden as it got bigger

The first picture here is the homemade patio fountain we made ourselves. I wandered around looking at fountains much smaller costing over $400. Nope. We paid $20 for the tiered centerpiece, $50 (a long time ago) for the pump and $2.00 for the bottom piece which is a kid's wading pool. It looks and sounds great. So, still decorating on a shoestring and loving it.

St. ATM

2016-03-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

Watching the news today, there was a barrage of ads touting how wonderful some nursing homes are. Some bragged how 'profits aren't important, their residents are' and some flaunted five star ratings. Ha. Ha. Truth be known, Medicare five star ratings are seriously flawed and may mask some serious deficiencies. It's been found that the five star rating relies too heavily on self-reporting by the nursing homes, omitting much negative information reported by state inspectors. Now isn't that the foxes guarding the chicken coups?

The star ratings are supposed to give nursing homes an incentive to improve, when in reality, most have found ways to game the system. Nursing homes know when inspectors are in their area,they notify each other and add more staff, clean up areas that they normally neglect, and sharply cut staff once inspectors are gone and go back to their sloppy ways, until the next year. Moral of the story: do not rely on this bogus five star rating system for nursing homes.

Those who say: 'profits are not our big concern' well of course that bottom line is of big concern. How do you think staff gets paid? How do you think administrators make those big bucks? By not being concerned about profit? Oh, please. Traditional nursing homes, based on the Medical model are the pits to live in. The Medical model is set up for staff convenience only. If huge profits are not a big concern, do you think corporations would even own them? Hardly. This is a billion dollar industry, owners of nursing homes aren't rich by accident.

Traditional nursing homes need big changes. They may have five star ratings like some Grand Hotel, and admittedly, they do charge the elderly like it is an expensive hotel, but without all the nice services one would expect at a hotel where one pays in excess of at least $1500 per week just for room and board, but they are not a nice hotel by any means.

Traditional nursing homes will never change until, you, you, and I, demand our loved ones actually get what they pay huge money for. So all of them are the Nursing Homes of the ATM.

War on drugs, who is the enemy?

2016-02-06T12:06:00.001-08:00

This is a picture taken in the 1960's of a protest. Police were called in to control the riot. A good share of the time there was no riot, but the police scene from the 1960's hasn't changed much from how protests are handled today. Are police more aggressive today? Likely not, but aggressive is aggressive, be it 1960 or 2015.

In 1971, President Nixon declared 'America's number one enemy' was drugs. He declared a war on drugs. Unfortunately when there is a war, there is also a perceived enemy. Has that enemy become the American people? I think the answer to that question depends on who you ask. Even after all these years, the war on drugs is no closer to being won.

Police departments are trained military style, just as if we are in a war in the United States of America, whether you have noticed or not. A big problem with training police to act as a military unit is this: When soldiers, or any military unit, is sent out on a patrol mission in a real war zone, there is usually someone in command, on the premises, with that group. Not so much with police in the U.S. Most of the time, the patrol cops have to call a commander to come to the scene, after the fact. Cops acting this way, are pretty much rogues, not bad cops, but cops who are acting like a loose cannon, with no commander with them to call the shots, or offer much direction. Yes, they may be in touch by cell phones or by radio, but in the heat of the moment cops have to act as they see fit. When Americans see cops as perhaps dangerous loose cannons, they are right. This is not to say those cops are bad people. It just says that we all hope their training is sufficient for them to act alone, in an appropriate manner, toward the citizen public. Many times the outcome is good and bad people are apprehended. But, in the news, what we hear about most of the time is when the outcome is not so good. Sensational headlines grab attention.

The picture on the left is from the 1960's also. On the right is modern day America. They don't look so much different, do they? Do police have it fixed in their heads that Blacks commit the majority of the crimes? I do not know, but sometimes it sure seems like that is what most people, including cops, think. Otherwise, why is history repeating itself so often?

Are cops really at war with citizens?

2016-01-20T12:37:00.000-08:00

Cops on a beat..neighborhoods used to know you well:

In today's modern society, we don't see cops who walk a beat anymore. Whether it's because we live in a fast paced society or just because police do not feel walking a beat is practical, we have begun to feel we do not know each other anymore. Hell, with technology, we stay hold up in our homes, is it any wonder? Can most of us even say we really know our neighbors who live right next to us? Whatever the reason, there is a wedge being driven between us, as citizens, and those men and women who have words that say: To serve and protect, written on the side of their cars.

Have Americans lost respect for today's cops? A lot of the problems are caused by a general lack of respect by many in our society. Newer generations do not respect their parents or older people, and it seems to spill over to authority figures as well. We now have students bringing weapons to school. Years ago, kids would duke it out with fists if they were pissed at each other, but now, kids are all too quick to pull a gun to settle a score. Years ago, students respected teachers, but these days, too many parents are willing to blame everything but their own parenting, whenever their kids get into trouble. Empathy and respect are not taught in all homes anymore.

Narcissism has been on the rise for the past decade and even a few years before that. Why? Well, certain T.V. shows were telling kids how 'special' they were. Telling them they didn't have to change one damn bit, didn't have to try working on being a nice person with a respectful attitude. As well intended as this message was, it was wrong. We all have plenty of room for improvement and no one owes us a damn thing.

Gone are the days of innocence when kids played with BB guns, played cops and robbers or cowboys and cowgirls with toy guns. America has lost a lot of its good ole days innocence when kids could be kids with no suspicious agenda. Today, kids as young as 9 and 10 are able to get guns and do some major damage.

Here in lies the question brought up in this picture. The correct answer is: All lives matter. As a Sociologist, I do not think cops, in general, are out to just kill, or shoot anyone to fill a quota. I think cops have families too, I think cops do get fed up with the court system dropping the ball. You often read about a suspect who may have been arrested 29 times or more. Who makes out in plea bargains? Usually lawyers.

I do think cops, many times, feel let down by the very system they are working for.

This is not to say it's right, if they do feel that way. But imagine laying your life on the line day in and day out, for not a fabulous amount of pay, only to find some people get 6 months for murder, while someone else gets 99 to life.

Imagine having to arrest violent offenders more times than they would care to. I have no doubt it is very frustrating. Do I think sometimes cops play Judge Dredd and get so fed up they become judge and jury all in one? Sure I think that's part of what happens on the streets. Another big part of the incidents of shooting an unarmed person also has to do with fear. Do you think cops do not get afraid? I'm certain they do.

If someone does not stop when cops tell them to, I'm sure they then begin to think it's suspicious behavior. So when someone is not stopping and they turn around with something in their hand, or pull something from their clothing, a cop is thinking they might end up dead and never make it home. Many times the shooting is a knee jerk reaction for self preservation.

Are there crooked cops? Of course there are. But this is not to say all are. Many are simply human, facing possible death each day on their shift, feeling fear, well trained or not, the same as you or I would.

We've all heard of the cops who have stopped to help someone, only to be gunned down for their efforts. Each time a cop walks up to a car they have stopped, they never know who or what is inside, friend or foe. Just imagine being in their shoes. Yes, yes, there are corrupt cops, yes, yes, there are cops who are prejudice. But remember, there are good doctors and bad, good lawyers and bad, good nurses, good social workers as well as bad. Every profession has its bad seeds, but should we condemn all for the actions of a few bad apples? Unfortunately that is what society tends to do these days.

Zoom
SUBMITTED PHOTOGreece native Anthony DiPonzio, 23, had been with the Rochester Police Department for about one year when he was shot and critically injured Saturday after responding to a call on Dayton Street in Rochester.
By Staff reports

Posted Nov. 2, 2011 at 12:01 AM
Updated Nov 2, 2011 at 2:19 AM

Rochester, N.Y.
A major milestone for Rochester Police Officer Anthony DiPonzio: We have learned that DiPonzio will be back to work soon.

The Rochester Police Department just confirmed that DiPonzio will be on light duty starting Nov. 7. He will be doing administrative work for the department's Professional Development Section.

DiPonzio, a Greece native, was shot in the back of the head by Tyquan Rivera while on a patrol in January 2009.

He has undergone years of therapy.

Anthony DiPonzio, 23 years old was shot in the back of the
head while on duty in 2009 in Rochester by a 14 year old
boy. Kids carrying guns are a problem in our society.