Steven Yap Personal Blog

The Art of Non-Resistance

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Thu, 21 May 2009 09:04:00 +0000

When we are punched (as in a real fight), we instinctively resist the punch by tensing our muscles, forcing our balance, and resisting the incoming force as much as possible. We may block it hard it with our hands, using more or the same amount of strength as the incoming force, resulting in a hard-vs-hard situation which damages ourselves too.

In fighting system such as Wing Tsun, Tai Chi, etc, the teaching rarely encourages hard-vs-hard blocks or reaction. Instead, it encourage deflection of the incoming forces or flow with the incoming forces and use it to your advantage. This minimizes tremendous self-damages as compared to hard blocks.

In life, we faced several hardships. Difficult or bad situations are forced onto us like an incoming punch to our body. Some people, like a warrior, face it strongly and work very hard to overcome which results in stress and lack of balance to life. Some people, like a defeated dog, take the punches and become a victim to the situation.

It may be hard to see that a bad situation can do any good to us. There is no way to justify honestly how much we enjoy burning midnight oil to complete a project or to study for a paper. However, just as an incoming punch is definitely harmful to our body if we receive it head-on, a bad situation is definitely stressful to our body if we just receive it head-on.

A simple example of how we commonly receive a bad situation head-on:
"Oh, my bank bill again... Oh gosh I gotta pay so much every month... I am working for the bank!"

It is clear that in our life, forces of all kinds of situation hurl towards us in various degrees of power. We may not be able to stop bank bills from coming but we are definitely able to stop receiving it with negative reaction or head-on. We can learn to divert such forces.

Back to our bank bill problem:
"Oh, it's my bank bill... well I am glad that I have enough in my account to pay it off *smiles*"
Or if the bank bill is for your house loan:
"Oh, it's the repayment bill for my OWN home"
Or a spiritual approach:
"Oh, my bank bill... This is my lesson to learn about attracting better things in life!"

This is NOT different from appreciation or positive thinking. They are the same. It's all about how to handle incoming forces in our daily life with a more constructive response.

Seek Connection to Yourself, Life, Family, Friends and Everything Else

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 11:19:00 +0000

Everything is connected in life. We are all inter-linked in more ways than we know. There is a bond between every matter.

This bond, this link, this connection is never broken. It is just mostly ignored.
The connections that mainly preoccupy our minds such as work, latest arguments with family or friends, upcoming happening events, etc, are the ones that we consciously concern ourselves with.
There are many connections that are around us which we are only subconsciously concerned.

These connections are your little voice, the moment you are living in (aka now), your dreams in life, the trees and scenery around us, the greatness of your family (mum and dad, sisters and brothers), the closeness of your friends and buddies, and many more. We often failed to take notice of them as we are mainly concerned with "What's next?" or "Why did that happen to me?" or other things.

Of all the connections, perhaps the most important one is our connection to God and the meaning of our existence - Our Mission in Life. This connection is the what we are and where we are going.

Remember the really important connections and seek to connect yourself consciously to it. A note here is to connect positively, not negatively. Connect yourself to your mission and to the things that really matters in your life.

Connect. Link. Bond.

Being Steadfast in Life

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 02:28:00 +0000

Hold yourself steadfast in life, unaffected by external events and you will enjoy every moment of your life.

I am sure we all have goals and wishes. We all have things that we want to achieve even though not all of us will be actively pursuing them. For those of us who do strive to pursue them, sometimes things get us down and we easily lose the motivation or drive to continue our pursue.

I have been working on building a web development company for close to 3 years and building a successful business for more than 6 years. I would say that the current result is not to my satisfaction. Everyday, I work towards my goal of a successful business but for the past few months, it has not been enjoyable and rewarding.

In the past, whenever I have a goal, I wake up everyday with a strong urge to achieve it. I will drill myself everyday until the day that my goal is achieved. Thereafter, I will walk away from it and find another challenge.

I seems to lost this feeling for a while. Perhaps it is the length of the pursue that dilutes the passion in it. Perhaps it is the height of this goal that requires more of me. Perhaps...

This morning, I am not feeling motivated and yet I have to work. My goal seems to become a compulsory situation that I am in. My life has become such that I MUST complete this goal before I can ever move on. Such "trapped" situation is certainly not very encouraging for me.

This posting is not meant to be a lamenting post. Sometimes the choices that we make in life drive us to the path we are taking now. It is not random nor by chance. My choices in life has so far making me a better and stronger person and hence comes the lesson of today - Hold yourself steadfast in life, unaffected by external events and you will enjoy every moment of your life.

My situation may not be the worst in the world, but it is definitely not envious by anyone. No matter what, holding myself steadfast in my goal and not to be affected by external events, I have come to understand more about life, and learn more about enjoying it.

We all have choice to allow what events to affect us. We all have the power to choose. So let's choose to keep the positive things in us, and to keep the negative things away. This way, we will be accumulating happiness, and appreciating every moment of our lives.

Self-Appreciation Generates Good Feelings

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Sun, 11 May 2008 06:14:00 +0000

How often do we forget to give ourselves due credit for the great things we have done? I am a person who don't really give a hoot about what I have achieve before. I used to believe that what's achieved, is achieved.

However, I have a new prespective about that now. You should always remember what you have, have achieved, and how great you are as a person. You should be giving yourself the due credit that you deserved instead of ignoring them. I am great as a human being, no matter how much imperfection I have.

So here's some self appreciation for myself. I am a great person! I have done many things which many people might not think it's possible to achieve at that time.

Probably one of my greatest achievement so far is being able to set up two Rotiboy stores from scratch. Rotiboy is a very delicious coffee bun and together with 3 other parters, we have managed to set up two stores. To set up a store, you would need at least S$150,000. That's a lot of money for someone who is at age 23 from a middle-income family. Well done, Steven!

I am a great person whom my friends respect and some, look up to (unless they are just being nice). I treat people as fair as I can, and I respect people as far as my temper allows (haha!). I have a beautiful 6 years relationship with my girl-friend cum future wife Rong Rong. She is my soul mate who understands me, tolerates me and believes in me despite my failings.

Think about yourself. You must have some achievements in your life, no matter how small they may seem to another person, as long as they matters to you significiantly. You are a great person. You just forget about it. Smile! =)

Beating the Giants

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Sat, 10 May 2008 05:40:00 +0000

Everyday we wake up to face a new day. When the going gets tough, I find my escaping from the situation more than facing up to it. This seems easy for me, "I can do it tomorrow..." or "I gotta do that (unimportant) thing first..." or "Let's relax for a while first.." In the end, the real thing is not done or done in a slip-slop way. When months have passed and I reflect upon my past actions, I see that I have not lived my life the way I wanted it. I am still the same as before. I am stagnant.

There is a giant in all the problems we faced everyday. Financial giant, relationship giant, smoking giant, giants, giants, giants... Often we may feel small fighting against them. We may feel that we are inadequately equipped to deal with them. We may feel that it is unfair in life that we have to face such giants and not given the power to defeat them easily.

Those who understands "The Secret" knew that we all have the power to defeat all these giants. However, it's easier said than done. When faced with a giant, our inner sub-conscious and inner fears took over. We stop remembering our true powers, and we give in to the situation. We became victims. We act like victims. We stop growing.

There is no secret on how to defeat the giant. In fact, most of the times when we start to try defeating the giants, we can't. That's why most people give up after a few tries. It just seems impossible. The giants seem to grow stronger. The giants seem to be unaffected by our efforts.

Then, it dawned on me one day while I was bathing. "You learn more from losing. Winner learns little." From every battle with the giants, even if we lose, we learn more about the giant and ourselves. IF we stand up again, we will become stronger and more equipped to fight the giant again. WE GROW. From every losing battle with the giants, we grow stronger. This is the only way to grow stronger... to lose.

Eventually, we will grow to be bigger than than the giant and we win.

Hence, here's the message to myself and to everyone out there who has the giants to face everyday, "Keep standing up to your giants". You will win it eventually. This is the journey that's meant for us. The giants are meant to be there for you, to grow you, to nourish you for greater things.

God bless!

Visualization - My Dream Board

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:22:00 +0000

Check out my new dream board!

I wonder why blogspot has such a complicated code for putting an image. Anyway, my dream board is very simple! On the top left, it is my dream home! Bottom left is my dream car!!! YAHOO!!!! Bottom right is my favourite food - SASHIMI! If I can only eat one thing for the rest of my life, let it be salmon sashimi! Top right is a Singapore $10,000 dollar note. It represents my financial freedom dream. The stupid pig in the middle right is my girlfriend and I's love crystal - zhui zhui. He is a happy, lazy and totally glutton pig who has a comment in everything we do. But we love him with our lives. =)

Why Visualization is important to achieving goals?

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:12:00 +0000

I am reading an ebook called "Goal Setting Secrets" which is about setting goals and achieving them in life.

One of the most important thing to achieving goals in life is to visual the end-state. It basically means visualizing yourself achieving your goals, getting what you wanted and seeing yourself in that state where it is achieved.

It can be a thrilling experience to imagine and see yourself achieving what you wanted at first, and then pretty boring and mundane as you carry on this excerise by yourself later as time goes by and you don't see it really materializing in life.

However, this is where most people fails to realize the power of visualization. As the visualization gets blurry, so does your attraction to materializing it! Here's a great analogy from the eBook that I was reading:

If you were watching television and the picture became fuzzy and difficult to see, you’d first try to fix it. However, if the picture remained fuzzy, you’d change the channel, regardless of how much you wanted to watch that particular program. Without the ability to see it, you’d have little if any interest in it.

Without a strong focus on what we really want, then we will soon lose the drive and energy to achieve what we really want.

Feeling Good Attracts More Goodness

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 06:41:00 +0000

It can be hard to always remember to feel good.

Sometimes things come to you so quickly that you just react to them instinctively and sadly, my instincts are sometimes quite negative. However, I move on quickly, reminding myself that we all ought to remember happy thoughts instead of rewinding sad thoughts in our mind.

Here's a tip: Just remember one simple happy thing you always look out for each day. With that simple thing in mind, whatever that happens to you, you will instinctively remember that one happy thing and balance yourself from the negative stuffs that are charging at you.

For me, I just remind myself that nothing makes me happier by receiving MONEY from my clients. That may be materialistic but who cares!? It really makes me happy to see money coming in and that I am doing well and my business is a success. Hence, here's to the slogan "CHECKS IN THE MAIL"!!!!!

Checks in the mail...
Checks in the mail...
Checks in the mail...
Checks in the mail... ;)

3 new habits

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:49:00 +0000

From today onwards, I have going to cultivate these 3 habits:

Habit #1
Everyday morning, I will look through my task lists from my handphone or company intranet, decide the tasks that I want to accomplish for the day (note it down) and complete it!

Habit #2
Everyday morning, I will visualize my goal:
Being a successful businessman making S$100,000 per month.
(My family is living in a penthouse condominium with full glass panel windows, white cushy sofa and sunlight pouring onto the carpeted floor of the air-con living room. Artistic paintings and sculptures decorated the apartment. After my morning Amercian breakfast and aromatic coffee prepared by the maid, I am leaving for work in a full Armani black suit. As I close the door, I thought to myself, "It is a wonderful day and there is something exciting to do for the day!")

Habit #3
Whenever I am feeling discouraged or down, I will visualize my goal.

The habit of create habits: My Habit-Creating System

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:26:00 +0000

This is my system of creating a habit:

Note all the habits you would like to create for your life in a notebook or handphone eg. wake up early to excerise
Every night before you go to bed, read the list of habits and visualize yourself doing it tomorrow
Every morning after you wake up, read the list of habits and visualize yourself doing it later in the day
The last and most important step of the system, DO IT!

This should work out after 3 weeks. =)
To see the importance of habits, read this post.

Habits Create Character, Character Creates Destiny

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 01:49:00 +0000

"Thoughts create action,
actions create habits,
habits create character,
character creates your destiny"

Ever heard of that phrase? It is more than just a motivational phrase. This phrase in fact explains the many things that happen in our life - why I don't get that, why he more lucky, why this happen to me, and so on.

Looking back at my life, the way my life is now is really due to my character: my passion drives me to achieve a large office and a growing business, my procastination prevents me from becoming a truly great person that I wanted to be, my beliefs attracted the right kind of people to help me in life, my ill-discipline brings me dissatisfaction in health and life. Crap...

The purpose of this blog shall be to track my everyday achievements. It is kind of funny and totally unlike my style that I just share every day of my life with everyone but I guess it may somehow helped someone along the way.

Let's go!

The birth of Steven Yap's Blog

stevenyap@futureworkz.com (Steven Yap) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 07:59:00 +0000

Hi,

Welcome to my blog!

Never been a blogging person but it appears that blogging is a huge wave and everyone is doing it. As a web developer, I must be in touch with the world and so here it is, after much delay and procastination, my very own blog!

Not really what I will be putting in this blog but I have set up another blog at http://joomla-seo.blogspot.com where I will be sharing my experiences and insight about Joomla, SEO and web design. I hope it will be a help to developers and website owners all over the world.

That's all for a first post.
Ciao!