Betty-Ann Heggie's Reflections on Gender Physics

Hunger Games Lessons

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:45 +0000

The Hunger Games teaches us some lessons about the significant role that mentorship can play in our success. Katniss’ mentor, Haymitch Abernathy, is not what one would perceive as the ideal mentor. He’s hardened and a drunk. Yet, throughout the trilogy and as we see on screen in the first movie, Haymitch draws on his experience as a previous Hunger Games winner to coach her and uses his contacts to find her sponsors (a vitally important part of the games). Mentors work the same for us; they share their networks and allow their hindsight to be our foresight.

Mentorship does not mean having someone follow in one’s exact steps in a precise dance. When the games begin, Katniss runs for an orange backpack, sure to be full of important supplies, when Haymitch’s advice was to turn and find cover in the forest. There are times when we may do things differently than our mentor suggests. In this case, it worked for Katniss. Other times, disregarding a mentor’s advice may cause us harm. It’s key to remember that, within a mentorship relationship, we have to still be ourselves and make our own decisions.

Even the relationship with sponsors is addressed in The Hunger Games. Haymitch, as a mentor, can help Katniss find sponsors and, in turn, receive much needed aid but it’s the spirit of Katniss, her personality and skill that must secure the sponsorship.

Haymitch’s mentoring helped prepare Katniss for the Hunger Games, yet once she was inside the venue, it was up to her to interpret his advice. When she is parched and in danger of dehydration, Katniss turns to the camera and requests water (hopeful that Haymitch will secure a sponsorship and supply). However, Haymitch doesn’t respond. Katniss concludes that he is sending a message that water is close and sets about to find some. Many of us would conclude we are being ignored and fall into despair. Katniss, instead, is resourceful and finds the water herself.

The Hunger Games moves us another step closer to gender equality but it also demonstrates that we aren’t there yet. Katniss is a reluctant hero. She’s awkward and unsure of herself, which makes audiences root for her. If she had willingly and confidently stepped up and proclaimed that she wanted to be a leader, I suspect that audiences would not support her with the same passion. Men can do that but we’re not ready for women to do the same. That’s why mentors and sponsors are so important to us.

Still, we’ve moved a good distance along the continuum – when we have both little boys and grown men going to a movie and relating to the female hero, it shows we’ve progressed beyond that princess in the castle and learned a lot.

I am confident that we will continue to see more female heroes possessing more masculine characteristics like our Katniss Everdeen. We yearn for someone like her to show our girls that strength and compassion are equal qualities. This is just the beginning of a shift in what our vision of a female hero can be.

As the eccentric Effie Trinket in The Hunger Games loves to say, “May the odds be ever in your favour!”

Listen to Katniss

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 08 May 2012 08:00:19 +0000

The Hunger Games, a story set in the future after a global disaster, brings with it a look at our current day society’s changing views around gender. The story itself has garnered worldwide attention. The basic core of The Hunger Games is that 24 youth are selected to enter an arena and, ultimately, fight to the death while the rest of the world watches on a screen.

I am enthralled with the female heroine of the story, Katniss Everdeen, because she reinforces so many of my thoughts and has given me more to consider.

The success of The Hunger Games book trilogy and first movie demonstrates our desire for a strong, self-sufficient female role model – a fact not lost on toy giant, Mattel, who quickly released a Katniss Barbie doll complete with fatigues, bow and arrow.

Today’s girls have expectations for their heroines beyond looking pretty in a cumbersome ball gown. They’re eager to see a strong female character in the “coming of age” myths which, until now, have been primarily reserved for males and Katniss Everdeen provides that opportunity.

Katniss reaches her goals by using traditional masculine characteristics (see, I told you Katniss reinforces my own thoughts!). An independent and rugged individual, she depends on her own instincts rather than reverting to sex appeal so she can be saved by a hunk in the last chapter of the story. We’ve all read that one before.

The Hunger Games brilliantly mixes gender attributes and challenges norms. Katniss and her District 12 companion in the games, Peeta Mellark, each quite naturally step into their opposite gender energy. While Katniss is a superb hunter, she’s guarded and constrained. Peeta, working for years in his parent’s bakery, has no hunting skill but is good with words and expressing emotion. Audiences think twice about gender delineation as it challenges the idea that we have to be explicitly one gender or the other.

Katniss is complex. We love her value-system. We see her protect her sister by volunteering to take her place in the games and take care of her mother after the tragic loss of her father. Yet, Katniss can also be haughty, prickly and insolent. By accepting her, we let go of the antiquated concept that heroes should be perfect and placed high on a pedestal beyond our reach. None of us are all good without some bad, all giving without some selfishness, and we shouldn’t expect to be so.

Like Katniss, we are neither entirely feminine nor absolutely masculine. She demonstrates for us that we can be far more successful if we can express both characteristics without reservation. There’s no doubt that, without her masculine energy, Katniss wouldn’t have been able to protect herself in the games, yet her feminine energy allowed her to form a life-saving alliance more than once.

The storyline gave me lots to think about. For example, in The Hunger Games, when the youth enter the arena, half are males and half are females. They fight to the death with only one victor and there is no consideration for the “weaker sex” – all are treated equally. In my opinion that is progress and Katniss deserves every bit of it. Today’s women deserve that and can live up to it, don’t you agree?

Murder Trial Brings Polarized Feelings to Forefront

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 01 May 2012 08:00:59 +0000

The highly charged trial of Anders Breivik, the gunman who massacred 77 innocent Norwegian children at summer camp, is underway. The stress of the trial brings to the forefront the polarization of masculine and feminine energy cultures.

Those from masculine energy cultures want revenge for the deaths and take a zero-tolerance position on process. (You’ll see this in the US reporting.) Meanwhile, those from feminine energy cultures, who are more tolerant, adopt a more accepting attitude.

Apparently Breivik is unrepentant. Many questioned why he was granted approval to open the trial with a long personal statement, especially when he used it to expound on his extremist philosophy.

Breivik raved that those he shot were traitors who deserved their fate. “Children at summer camp brought execution on themselves?” cried incredulous masculine energy observers.

The horror of his actions are difficult enough but, for those with masculine energy, which stands up for itself, sets boundaries and strives to protect the system. Breivik’s actions and attitude can’t be tolerated. He must be punished. They demand the death penalty, which isn’t even an option in Norway.

I understand as I feel angry and upset each time I read about the incident. If I were are parent of a murdered child, I’d probably be plotting to shoot him as he left the courthouse. If this trial were taking place in a masculine energy country, an assassination attempt would be a real danger.

It is different in Norway – they are more process-oriented. Their country’s values reflect the feminine energy of taking care of the collective and seeking to understand another’s position through empathy. They are reported to sit in court, listening quietly and respectfully as he cites the reasons for his shooting spree.

These two cultures reinforce the primary energy, either masculine or feminine, that is found in each of us. Evidence of these energies becomes especially obvious when it is exaggerated under stress. Can you see how this trial brings that to the forefront?

In the Middle of the Mentorship Spectrum

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:00:52 +0000

In my last installment, I discussed the Mentorship Spectrum, focusing on the two extremes of mentorship – formalized programs and brief moments of mentorship.

In the middle of these two is a type of mentoring that you can make as informal or structured as you choose but, in order to be a success, the relationship will need some longevity. In these “middle mentorship” situations, a protégé could seek a mentor to offer encouragement or advice on a multitude of issues over a longer period of time.

Alternatively, a protégé may seek a mentor to help reach a specific goal. If your purpose is the former, you’ll definitely want to find a mentor who inspires you. I also recommend that the mentor possesses the virtue of humility – someone who will encourage you to be the very best person you can be and won’t try to turn you into a clone!

If you want to achieve a specific goal, consider a mentor who has been successful in a similar area, and simply ask them for a meeting. Mentors, like all people, are flattered when their accomplishments are recognized and seldom turn down a meeting when a protégé says, “Here’s where I am now, here’s where I want to go and here’s what I want to learn from your success.”

Protégés who can articulate their objectives are a breath of fresh air. I can tell you that there’s nothing worse than protégé who is floundering around, desperate to be rescued, hoping that you will tell them exactly what to do.

When meeting with a potential mentor, test the chemistry between you – much the same as you would on a blind date. If you find that you’re connecting and stimulated by the conversation, ask if they would be willing to meet again! You can ease gently into a mentoring relationship or ask if they would like to meet on a more regular schedule as you work towards your goal. You may even get as specific as setting some parameters regarding how often you’ll meet, for how long and what you expect to accomplish. This would be considered “dating” in the mentorship world.

All of these versions of mentorship are valuable and each has the potential to serve you well. That having been said, don’t feel you have to limit yourself to just one option. In fact, I’d encourage you to be active in many aspects of mentorship concurrently. You could belong to a formal, structured program and be involved with a mentor who is assisting you in reaching a specific goal, all while you gain clarity from a drive-by mentor. It’s rarely one shining person who makes the difference. In fact, it’s usually a confluence of factors.

Opening yourself up to all aspects of the mentorship continuum will allow everything to fall into place. So ask yourself: Am I ready to grow?

Mentorship at a Glance

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 08:00:48 +0000

Whenever I’m asked what defines mentorship, I always respond that it’s really about the protégé being open to growth. Practically anyone can serve as a mentor and there is a definite continuum of the types of mentorship available. Some types may serve your personal goals better at different times in your life.

At one end of the spectrum there are formalized, structured mentorship programs where you sign up for a program that has a pre-determined set of expectations. The program I sponsor at the University Of Saskatchewan Edwards School Of Business is a good example. Protégés sign up, are assigned a Womentor (woman mentor), then the protégés set up the meetings and come with an agenda. The mentor simply shares their wisdom, life and career experiences.

Each protégé and Womentor is expected to have a minimum of four one-hour meetings per year, although we’ve found it’s advantageous to meet once or more per quarter. We know from experience that Womentors are more willing to take on a protégé if they don’t feel that they are “adopting” someone for life, so our program has a built-in, one year limit. After the one-year Womentorship term, the protégé and Womentor establish a strong enough relationship so, although the program formally ends, they both end up in one another’s network.

Our program recognizes that women need support to reach their goals, so several networking and professional development sessions are included throughout the year. We focus on the three impacts of presence, belonging and resilience as outlined in the study by global consultant McKinsey and Company entitled “Centered Leadership: How Talented Women Thrive.”

At the other end of the spectrum is a type of mentorship that’s completely unstructured and informal and what I like to call the “drive-by mentor”. Imagine this to be someone that you meet on an airplane. You chat, connect, and, next thing you know, you’re sharing an issue and they offer advice. Suddenly everything becomes clear and you determine a course of action. It’s a “Catalytic Moment”. The flight lands, you disembark and never see one another again. Although brief, your flight partner has provided important mentorship. No one is ever called a mentor or a protégé, in spite of the fact that this is exactly what happened.

In the middle of these two is a type of mentoring that you can make as informal or structured as you choose. In these “middle mentorship” situations, a protégé could seek a mentor to offer encouragement or advice on a multitude of issues but there is no set time limit.

Regardless of which kind of Womentorship situation you find yourself in, whether formal and structured or informal and fleeting, remember that the best thing you can do is keep yourself open to learning, growing and walking away from it inspired.

Leave No Doubt, It’s a Good Book

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 08:00:09 +0000

Mike Babcock is a Saskatoon native, Detroit Red Wings head coach and the only hockey coach ever to lead his team to an Olympic Gold, a Stanley Cup and a World Championship. His new book, Leave No Doubt, is written with his longtime friend, another Saskatoon boy, Rick Larsen.

This inspirational “Credo for Chasing Your Dreams,” is filled with Mike’s winning philosophy, hitting the bookshelves April 14. An easy read, the book will give to the multitudes the motivation he has given his teams. Kids will have something to aspire to, coaches will be quoting from it and I’ll be sharing passages with the women at the University of Saskatoon Edwards School of Business Womentorship Program. We all have something to learn from the man that truly lives and breaths his credo. And, we all need his encouragement to step out of our comfort zone and chase some dreams.

It’s not that Mike has never had doubts – in fact, he reveals that during the Olympic semi-final game against Slovakia. The Canadian team was up 3-0 after the second period and soon into the final period, the Canadian fans started yelling, “We want USA.” He knew it was too soon and said, “Hearing those chants scared me as much as I’ve ever been scared in my life.”

He goes on to explain that some dreams are bigger than one person and that Olympic Gold was our country’s dream. To do that, all 23 players had to serve the team’s best interest. He tells how Steve Yzerman explained to the team that, although he was the General Manager, his three associates all had more experience. It was the same with the coaching staff; Mike was head coach but the three assistant coaches all had more tenure as well. “If these gentlemen didn’t let ego get in the way, then you certainly will not,” Yzerman told the players.

No one was a better example than the goaltender, Martin Brodeur. He has a long history of coming through for his team but he was in goal when they lost to the Americans. Mike decided to start Roberto Luongo of the Vancouver Canucks, believing that it was his city and his time to shine. He knew it would be tough for Brodeur as he’s a competitor – fully confident of his ability to create a win.

In the book, Mike describes it as follows, “I went to Brodeur and told him that we’d be starting Lou against Germany. He said, “Yup.” That was it. Hard as it was, he took it like the pro he is. Through the rest of the games, Brodeur was nothing but positive and supportive. Talk about leaving your ego at the door.”

As Mike points out, winning isn’t just about collecting talent. It’s about creating a team and he asks us to question ourselves, about our ego, the people with whom we surround ourselves, and how easily we are diverted on the way to our dreams. In fact, he puts forward a question for you to consider at the close of every section of the nineteen line Credo and each one will help you get to know yourself a little better. He loves to learn and he wants you to do the same because that’s how we all win, not just in hockey, but in life.

Mentors Help Change Negative Thinking

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 08:00:38 +0000

A mentor can be the impetus for you to break out of negative thinking and start a new pattern. Women, especially, need to take advantage of such “Catalytic Moments” as we are more prone to derail ourselves with self-doubt.

There is a reason for this explains neurologist, Louann Brizendine, author of “The Female Brain.” She says a part of the brain is assigned the task of negative thinking and its larger and more influential in women. (We are more attuned to listen for problems with infants and this carries over to our interactions with others as well.)

None of us live in isolation so what others say about us (either verbally or with their body language), affects our thinking. In fact, our brains love to categorize and label so when we hear someone say that we are clumsy (or tone deaf, or poor at math), it sticks. We grow accustomed to the label and recreate it.

What is really interesting is that the positive stuff slips off like it’s on teflon while we look to others to verify the negative beliefs that we have formed. In fact, research from Dr. Thomas Joiner, a psychology professor from Florida State University, shows that the desire for self-verification is so strong that it overrides how much those negative opinions hurt.

Aimee Lee Ball wrote a compelling article about this in “The Oprah Magazine.” In it she cited the example of the hooker, played by Julia Roberts in the movie “Pretty Woman.” When her rich client, played by Richard Gere, asked why she did this work, she said,”she didn’t think much of herself.”

He went on to list her attributes but she responded that “the bad stuff is easier to believe.” Staying with the comfort of those negative thoughts about herself kept Julia Roberts downrodden but, in my opinion, Richard Gere helped her break free by acting as her mentor.

He introduced her to opera, listened to her opinions, took her to sporting events, and bought her new clothes. Through him her awareness of her abilities and what she could be changed. It was a “Catalytic Moment” when she decided that she did indeed had the ability to go back to school!

Just like Julia Roberts in the movie, each of us can overcome the weight of negative thinking that pulls us back into old patterns. And these “Catalytic Moments” are more easily reached with the help of a mentor. Can you see how this works?

5 Stereotypical Reasons Men think Women are Bad Drivers

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:00:52 +0000

Let me introduce you to Ashleigh Denton, a delightful young woman with some great perspectives on the stereotypes around women and driving. When she contacted me to share her thoughts, I invited her to do a guest blog as I knew you’d enjoy hearing this as much as I did.

Men and women disagree about a lot of things, but driving is one of the most contentious subjects. Women tend to think they’re better behind the wheel, but men still cling to old stereotypes that peg women as inferior drivers. Men tend to think that women can’t park, navigate or handle high speeds, which are all demonstrably false. Women are also accused of lacking spatial awareness, which does seem to have some basis in scientific fact. Regardless of the stereotypes, studies have shown that women drivers are responsible for less accidents than men.

Some of the stereotypes about women drivers are made up out of whole cloth, but there are some real psychological and physiological differences between the genders. Studies have shown that men are better at spatial awareness, and boys tend to develop the ability to visualize in three dimensions earlier than girls. Since men are more likely to be aggressive and competitive, men and women also tend to react differently to many situations on the road.

According to a MetLife poll, about 51 percent of women believe they are better drivers than men. On the other hand, a plurality of men believe they are the better drivers. Some of the dissension may come from the fact that there are two competing definitions in play. When some people refer to bad drivers, they are talking about skill. Other people are more concerned about safety. Studies have shown that men are more likely to drive in an unsafe manner, which has no bearing on skill level.

There are too many stereotypes about women drivers to list. Some of them are offensive, others are antiquated and a few might even contain a kernel of truth. Most of the arguments can be boiled down into five stereotypical reasons men think women are bad drivers.

Women have slower reaction times.

According to certain studies, women do have slower reaction times than men. However, women tend to perform better at manual dexterity tests.

Women are unable to navigate.

Men tend to navigate with spatial directions, and women are more likely to use local landmarks. One study showed how that tendency can be both a strength and a weakness.

Women are bad at parking.

Many women are great at parking, but men tend to have a better inherent sense of their surroundings. Men who lack a good sense of spatial awareness are not good at parking.

Women are easily distracted.

This common stereotype involves women who are too busy putting on makeup, replying to text messages or disciplining children to keep their eyes on the road. According to statistics, men are actually more likely than women to be distracted while driving.

Women drive too slowly.

Women do tend to drive more slowly and carefully than men. This stereotype actually has a positive spin, since the great majority of fatal, high-speed accidents are caused by male drivers.

The bottom line is that men and women are both bad drivers, but they are bad in different ways. Both men and women can also be good drivers if they work on their problem areas. Men who behave competitively in traffic can improve by taking a more participatory approach, and many women can benefit from working on spatial awareness.

Negative stereotypes can be tough to beat, but women drivers who demonstrate a high level of technical proficiency can poke a lot of holes in the old arguments. According to most of the available data, women are already safer drivers than men.

Ashleigh Denton
Part-time Writer/Researcher for InsuranceQuotes.org
Specialist in Car Insurance

Let’s Keep Good news for Women as Good News

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 08:00:07 +0000

It was good news for women to have our Canadian Prime Minister appoint a female, Vaughn Schofield, as Saskatchewan’s new Lieutenant Governor. But, before we get too excited, we have a couple of things to consider. First, we need to keep it positive by not contributing to any criticism of the appointment and second, let’s remember that women are nowhere close to reaching parity.

The few women holding prestigious and influential positions often attract substantial media attention, which may give the public a false impression that barriers to women’s advancement are a thing of the past. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, last August the Conference Board of Canada released a report stating that the presence of Canadian women in senior management positions has stagnated in the past twenty years. Between 1987 and 2009, the proportion of women in senior management has hardly changed; men continue to be more than twice as likely to hold a senior executive position.

Additionally, the report showed that the proportion of women in middle management, the feeding ground for top management positions, rose by only four per cent during the same time period. At this current rate, it will take approximately 151 years before the proportion of men and women at management level is equal.

Increasing women’s presence in the senior levels of organizations isn’t a “woman’s issue,” nor is it simply a matter of fairness—those who fail to access women’s talents are losing out. Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, author of the book, How Women Mean Business, A Step by Step Guide to Profiting from Gender Balanced Business, cites research from well-established institutions such as the OECD, Eurostat, the World Economic Forum, and McKinsey and Goldman Sachs, all whom made the case that reducing the gender gap and increasing female leadership is good not only for bottom-line corporate performance, but for ensuring the viability and economic health of countries. When women are present in top positions, they’re not the only ones who win; all of society benefits.

We already know what we need to do. Now we need to adopt the Nike slogan and “just do it.” This public sector pull is establishing momentum, but it needs to be matched with private sector pushes.

Cox suggests a number of things for companies focused on gender diversity. A few are: get your executive team to define the business case; give your initiative a budget and have all managers become fluent in the language, culture, and nuances of both men and women.

Additionally, I believe that we need to be wary of putting women in precarious positions without providing them with the support and preparation needed to be successful. A woman’s failure in an executive role may be attributed to her gender, rather than the circumstances of the position. And let’s be sure that mentoring programs for women are part of all efforts!

Finally, I can only hope that NOT ONE woman offers a peep of criticism of Schoefield’s appointment. In order to make headway, women must support other women. There will be plenty of men with negative things to say. We don’t need to add to the dialogue. Can you see the value in keeping the good news positive?

How to Get the Mentorship Payback

Betty-Ann Heggie — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 08:00:50 +0000

Being a mentor can be emotionally satisfying as there’s nothing better than using your experience to help someone else reach their dreams.

However, you’ll have a better chance to make this payback a reality by being selective about who you take on as a protégé.

I used to mentor anyone who sought me out, figuring that if they had the gumption to ask, they warranted my time. Soon I realized that a protégé who knew what they wanted, with the drive to keep at it, had a better chance to reach their dreams. That was more rewarding for me.

Here are some tips I’ve learned as to where to best spend my time: first, when someone asks you to be a mentor, thank them for the honour and then have them articulate their goals. Ask them to describe, not only what they want for themselves, but also how having you as a mentor will aid their journey.

The best protégés will say, “Here’s where I am now, here’s where I want to go and here’s how you can help me.” Other protégés will flounder around looking to be rescued, wanting you to tell them what to do. That’s not a good start as it needs to be their vision, not yours.

Secondly, a protégé has a better chance of achieving a dream if they stick with it and push through. To test their tenacity, it can be helpful to start with a little assignment. It could be writing a personal mission statement or doing a “SWOT” analysis (what are the projected Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats on the road to reach their dream?).

To test their commitment, I often use a list of questions which take some thought. If the potential protégé puts some effort into their responses, it becomes the basis of some great conversations when we get together. Interestingly, other times I give the questionnaire and the potential protégé just fades away, never to be heard from again! It’s a clear indication that they need to do some more personal analysis before seeking a mentor.

Making this up-front investment can assure that your skills will be truly relevant to the mentor/ protégé process. Sometimes your discussions will reveal that there is someone better matched to the protégé’s aspirations and you can make the introduction. I’ve also done this and it gives me great pleasure to see those relationships flourish.

Looking back on my mentorship experiences, I am always glad to have used my time to help someone who has a dream and is really committed. It’s an affirmation of my contribution which is always emotionally satisfying. Can you see how being selective will help you get the mentorship payback?