Stimeyland

CSSS*: Week 4—Sports Week

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 12:13:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Saturday Summary!

Sports week was a lot of fun. Sam has been really into sports recently. We got a huge batch of sports chapter books awhile back from Cluttercast and Sam has been racing through them. He's even picked up some fun lingo from them, which I find endlessly entertaining.

Since he's been reading them, he's been insisting on playing a lot of baseball in the backyard and basketball in the driveway. Whenever we go to the library, he says that he will read anything about sports that I can find.

"Sports are my main hobby," he says.

So it was a natural that this week would be Sports Week.

Day 1—Golf Day!

We have done a lot of miniature golfing in the past year or so. So much golf that my kids are kind of tiring of it, so we've taken a little break from it. But there is one place we mini golf that has a driving range too, and that has caught their attention. Sam really badly wanted to go "real golfing."

Alex bought Sam a kid's golf set and they've been practicing in the backyard, but on Monday when Jack was at school, Sam, Quinn, and I headed out to the driving range.

It went better than I could ever have expected.

We got a jumbo basket of balls, and it was almost too many. Fortunately, it was enough to keep Quinn busy while Sam hit balls. He really liked the tees.

When Sam got tired, I took a turn while he played with my camera. Please note my excellent grip on the tiny golf club.

Sam was actually kind of good at hitting the ball. He even had some of them roll out to the 75 yard sign post. See that one I circled? That one is in midair after he hit it. Of course, not all of the balls made it that far.

We did go on a Monday morning. I'm not sure we're ready to go on a weekend, when there might be more people there. We had a couple of pretty erratic shots that had there been any "real" golfers nearby, they might have had a problem with them.

Day 2—Field Hockey Day!

I have a mother's helper that comes twice a week to play with my kids while I work. (Or twitter, but don't tell her that.) She called me Monday night to ask if she could bring her field hockey gear over on Tuesday to teach my guys how to play.

How totally cool is that?

Jack didn't really have a whole lot of interest in field hockey, but Sam and Quinn did. I took a break from ~~industriously working~~ twittering to take some photos. Look how awesome!

Quinn was a little small for the gear, especially the gloves, but he put his game face on and went for it.

I really enjoyed Guest Camp Counselor Day. Particularly because I could watch from inside my air conditioned house as they played in the hot backyard.

Day 3—TV and Vomit Day!

We didn't do sports on Wednesday because Jack came home early from school after throwing up on the bus. I didn't know if he was sick or not, so I canceled all our appointments and let my guys watch TV and play video games for much of the day. Plus, we had a dryer repair guy come by ~~between eight and noon~~ at 1:30, so we just hung out and chilled.

Day 4—Soccer Day!

We went to our regular Thursday morning soccer game on, well, on Thursday. Per usual, we had a lot of fun, half on the playground, half on the soccer field.

Quinn tends to do things like wander off into the shrubbery when we're at soccer. A few weeks ago when he did that, he found a baseball, which was pretty much the highlight of his life. Well, this week, he found another, different baseball.

"I am the baseball king!" he proclaimed.

Now I just have to teach him to fine tune his baseball-finding mojo so he can find precious metals or something.

Day 5—Football and Baseball and Basketball and Stimey is About to Pass Out From Exhaustion Day!

Evidently my kids don't know how to play football.

And they're a little haphazard about baseball too.

I forced my friend to go to the park to play baseball with us Friday morning. It was sweltering. And there seven thousand gnats that really enjoyed my face lotion. It was a little miserable. But the munchkins had fun.

Although our outfielders left a little something to be desired.

We came home and recovered and then set out in the afternoon for our Camp Stimey Meet-Up. Threat of rain and tired toddlers kept almost everybody home. Which gave us an opportunity to play a little basketball.

Sam made his first two shots. It was cool. Then my friend Heather and her kids showed up and my kids promptly forgot about the basketball court. Fortunately there was a playground right next door. And even though it drizzled on and off, we still had a great time.

Not one to let a Camp Stimey Meet-Up pass by without some sort of inadvisable high place behavior, Jack decided to corrupt younger minds as well.

Things went along swimmingly until Sam started asking when we were going to have our playdate. When I informed him that we were AT our playdate, he spent a little bit of time sulking. But he eventually pulled his shit together and had more fun.

Jack and Quinn, who hadn't been on the basketball court at all, made their way over there and did some weird stuff.

The two of them have developed this really cool relationship. They play really well together and talk and laugh and have a great time. Sam used to be the glue that held these two together, but now they're creating their own intimate relationship independent of him. It's really cool to see.

Unless their own intimate relationship involves playing fun games they both enjoy, such as Let's Fill Jack's Socks With Sand. That's less cool to see.

I'm sure Sports Camp will continue for the rest of the summer in a less formalized way. But I consider this week to be a smashing success. Or, better yet, a bouncing success.

Barf.

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:20:00 +0000

Jack's bus driver hates us.

I've tried so hard to endear myself to her. We wait on the porch in the morning so Jack is all ready to get on the bus as soon as it turns the corner. I sit in the living room and listen for the bus to come in the afternoon. I'm always on my way out to the curb by the time it pulls up. I'm always very friendly and say hi, and have Jack wave at them as they pull away.

But even all of that can't lessen the reality that Jack is the bus barfer.

It happened first this Wednesday. I put Jack on the bus feeling fine, but got a call 35 minutes later from his ESY teacher telling me that I should pick him up because he threw up on the bus.

Of course when I got to the school, what should be out front, but the bus...with the bus driver and the aide inside cleaning up Jack's vomit. They were practically all decked out in biohazard gear with rubber gloves and all.

I asked if I could help, but they said no. I apologized profusely and went inside to get Jack, who was drenched down to his shoes from his weirdly watery vomit.

Thankfully when I came back out, the bus was gone.

I spent Thursday apologizing profusely to the bus drivers at pick up and drop off.

Then today I got home from a playdate to find a message from the bus driver. She sounded less nice than she has sounded in person in the past.

"Jack threw up on the bus again this morning," she said, "so you might want to pick him up from school."

Then I noticed a message on my cell phone. It was the site coordinator for Jack's school.

"Jack threw up on the bus again this morning," she said. "He seems fine now, so maybe he was just carsick. But be on notice that if he starts to look bad you'll have to come get him."

I ended up calling the site coordinator, because that seemed the responsible thing to do. I told her that Jack does get carsick. I asked if I should bring in new clothes for Jack. She said that I didn't have to because evidently he didn't throw up on himself.

He threw up on someone else's backpack instead.

Oh dear lord.

I asked if maybe I should start driving him to school instead as the bus seems to be hard on his stomach. She told me that I should give it a few more days and then if he continues to have problems, we can take him off the bus then. She was all nice and friendly about it.

The bus driver and aide were less pleased to hear our "Let's give it another chance" option. They didn't even seem all that grateful for my "I'll send a towel on the bus with him" plan.

"There's a lot of liquid in his vomit," the aide said, pantomiming his vomit running onto the floor and down the bus steps.

"I think the bus is just too hot for him in the morning," the driver said, with a meaningful look at me.

I guess this means that my planned thank you baggies of cookies for the bus drivers at the end of ESY have just turned into gift cards.

Coming Clean

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:23:00 +0000

I've been getting a lot of kudos from all y'all for my super awesome parenting skills as they pertain to Camp Stimey. And, I know, I do totally rock and am the best mom in the whole world.

(HA!)

But for those of you who look at what I've been doing and feel angst, rest assured, I am not the supermom that I make myself out to be on Camp Stimey Saturday Summaries. My favorite comment came from Papa Echo (one of my old college pals, who happened to marry my best friend from high school, Mama Echo) on my last Saturday Summary. It said, in part:

"I've been instructed to "one-up" you, since you're pretty much ruining everyone else's summer. You and your second-rate YMCA camp... [insert description of super awesome science-y fun here] Take that, Camp Stimey (whose acronym looks somehow suspiciously like some Russian corporate oligarchy). But have a good summer."

Touché, Papa Echo. Touché.

I'll have you know that even though I've been following through on my Camp Stimey theme weeks and having a great time with my kids this summer, that the rest of my life is pretty much falling apart.

My house is a sty. I haven't cooked a nutritious dinner for my children for five weeks. Today, after I took my kids out for soccer fun, we came home and watched Kung Fu Panda because, "Martial arts are a sport."

It's true. I said that.

Then I sent one of my kids to someone else's house, entrusted the other two to my mother's helper, and then after all that was done, they played video games and I took a nap.

My friend ALW said that it's totally okay that my house stuff is not going great because I'm using all of my energy actively parenting my children. But she told me that I had to come clean.

So now I feel clean.

Phew.

Why Gerbils?

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:16:00 +0000

In the wake of formalizing the tagline of Stimeyland to be "life. autism. gerbils." by having it printed on 300 pens, some of you have asked, "Why gerbils?"

I know. It's confusing. Because, really, what the fuck do gerbils have to do with anything?

Let me explain.

(1) Life. I write about my life. Pretty self-explanatory.

(2) Autism. I have an autistic child. Hence, autism is a pretty big part of my life right now. I write about autism.

(3) Gerbils. Somehow I started writing about gerbils a lot. I'm not quite sure how it happened. One of our preschool teachers had a class gerbil and then my friend got a couple of gerbils and then I pet sat her gerbils and before you know it, I was writing a damned gerbil blog.

Anyway, everything about gerbils cracks me up, from the way they look to their absolutely ridiculous name. Gerrrr-bbilll. Ger-bil. Gerbil. It's funny, right? I am assuming that everyone thinks gerbils are as amusing as I do and therefore sees the "gerbils" part of my tagline the way I do: as a signpost that I write a humorous blog.

So, to recap: Life implies that I write a memoir-style blog, Autism implies that one of my main topics is autism, and Gerbils implies that I am hilariously funny. Perhaps erroneously. Maybe it just implies that I'm kind of random. That works too.

And "life. autism. gerbils." is a lot shorter than the paragraph above.

Although when I showed Alex my new Stimeyland pens, with the pontificating gerbil and the tagline, he gave me a weird look and said, "You are a strange woman." And then when I copied the pontificating gerbil pose in the kitchen, he started laughing. So clearly I've proven my point.

So if my six-word memoir is "Always chasing three boys; usually laughing," my three-word memoir can be "life. autism. gerbils." I could do worse for a couple of credos.

Wordless Wednesday: Gerbil Farming?

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:39:00 +0000

Okay, no, I have words.

I don't know what the hell this book is about, although I suspect is about gerbil farming. My mom bought it for me without telling me and it just showed up on my porch one night. And I laughed and laughed and laughed.

I can't wait to read it.

Speeee-LUNK!

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:27:00 +0000

I know that some of you (Hi, Mom!) have been waiting for a Luray Caverns post. Never one to let down my readers, I will present to you The Tale of the Way Coolest Adventure in the Way Coolest and Most Bad Ass Place Ever!

Notice how eager and excited Team Stimey—or Team Surly, as I sometimes call them—looks in this photo. Please take note of my vise-like grip on two of them. Don't we look happy and relaxed?

~~We were~~ Alex was smart enough to pack us a picnic lunch before our million-hour drive to the caverns. Unfortunately, we sat down to have our picnic near some Boy Scouts. I'm treading on thin ice even bringing this up here because Alex and I have a very serious issue when it comes to the Boy Scouts. This is not something you want to mention to him if you are a visitor to my home.

I wish this photo more adequately captured the look on his face. Surly indeed.

I think part of the surly was also because Alex was convinced that we were embarking on a super-lame trip. He thought the caverns were going to be dumb and, I quote, "Fifty dollars we'll never see again." He changed his tune almost immediately once we went down in the caverns.

I took about a million photos, but they all kind of look like this:

But that's pretty cool, don't you think?

If you haven't scrolled down to the next photo yet, wait a minute. Let me ask you a question first. If you had a child who tends to wander away from you and you were going into a dank underground cave, what would you dress him in?

Would it be camouflage?

I think that just may be my favorite photo of all time. What on earth was I thinking, buying Jack, of all people, a camouflage sweatshirt?

You don't have to make reservations to go to Luray Caverns, and kids five and under are free. Plus, if you take your Giant card, your second adult ticket is half price. There are signs posted that say that tours happen every five to 20 minutes, but there were no guide-led tours when we were there. Everyone who paid for a ticket gets a self-guided audio tour.

And if your child, who didn't pay for a ticket, looks hopeful enough and you kinda beg, they will give you an audio player for him too.

He wore it for about three minutes. Eventually Alex and I both had extra audio players around our necks. Alex listened to the adult version of the tour. Sam and I listened to the kid version. It was fascinating.

But mostly we just looked around in awe.

There were many, many people in the caverns the day we went, but sometimes we were almost alone in a corridor or a room. The place is HUGE. It takes about an hour to walk through the caverns.

Of course, one of the things the kid audio tour tells you about is the "ghost" of Luray Caverns. That ghost is a white column. But Sam didn't know that when he told Quinn about it. Quinn immediately decided he wanted to go home.

"Is there a ghost? Is there a ghost?" he kept asking.

"No, sweetie, there's not," I would say.

"But, Mom! The thing says there's a ghost!" Sam would insist.

And then we were right back to, "Is there a ghost? Is there a ghost? I wanna go home."

And so on.

I have to say, Luray Caverns was way cool. Alex agrees that it was way cool. Other than a little nervousness about there maybe being a ghost, my kids thought it was way cool. You should go.

It's kind of a trip to think about caverns like that just existing under the ground. The formations that water and rock can create are phenomenal. The natural world is pretty incredible.

It was a good end to Ology Week at Camp Stimey.

My Obligatory Pre-BlogHer Post

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:30:00 +0000

I think it's a requirement that if you are going to BlogHer that you have to sit down and write a post about going to BlogHer before you actually go to BlogHer.

At least I'm pretty sure I remember signing something to that effect. Or maybe those were outraged and vaguely threatening letters to various companies and government officials, I don't rightly remember. I signed something.

Well, I am nothing if not a woman of my word (I'm not—I'm a complete flake), so here is my pre-BlogHer post.

(1) I'm going to start off with this:

You might want to click to enlarge so you can see all the beautiful ladies.

That is a photo of most of the women who showed up for the DC-area pre-BlogHer meet-up. Not shown are Kristen (and her adorable baby), Andrea, Jill, Wife & Mommy, JavaMom, Jen, Kim, Katherine, Zandria, and Examorata. (If you were there and I left you off this list, let me know, and please accept my apologies. I have three kids, three blogs, and, like, three part-time jobs—I can't even remember what I just walked into the living room for.)

That photo above shows CaraBee (whom I met for the first time last night), Teach Mama (who just got guinea pigs, so you know I looooove her even more now), Urban Mama (who is so cool she wore her sunglasses inside—although to be fair, it's because she forgot her regular glasses), Jessica (who is not going to BlogHer, which completely devastates me), Lumpyhead's Mom (who encouraged me to throw a grape at someone from across the room, and so I did, and I actually made the shot, and it was awesome!), Linda (who is your go-to source when you have borne many children in a short period of time), Tech Savvy Mama (whom I get to room with at BlogHer, although I'm worried now that she's threatened to take photos of me while I sleep), Susan (whom I also get to room with at BlogHer and who I am hoping will defend me against Tech Savvy Mama's nefarious plans), De in D.C. (who was the victim of my idiocy when she just needed someone to help her open a bottle of water and I refused to help and took a photo of her struggle instead), Laurie (who is tremendously cool and who takes even more photos than I do), Sarah (at whom I threw the grape), Kim (who is adorably pregnant and had a fabulous orange sash that I'm still jealous about), me (whom you already know waaaaaay too much about), Devra (who planned the whole damn thing and is just about the coolest person you would ever want to know), and last, but absolutely NOT least, Sue (who was fresh off of hosting three (3!) birthday parties at her house in one day).

Okay. I'm never linking to anything ever again. Plus, I think that's the longest paragraph I've ever written on this blog.

(2) I have swag for BlogHer. It's not as good as last year's swag, but it is pretty cool in its own right. I'm not supplying details yet, but I will tell you this: I'll be dragging around eight pounds of pens in Chicago. And it involves the following:

Hmmm... I guess I did just supply details.

(3) I don't yet have business cards. You know, in case I run out of my eight pounds of pens.

(4) Last year I wrote a pre-BlogHer post to let you know some things about me. They are all still true. Please review them.

(5) I'll be at Midway on the 23rd at about 10 a.m. If you're there and you see me, grab me! I can't wait to meet all of you!

(6) If you're not going to BlogHer, I will raise a drink in your honor while I'm there.

CSCA*: Week 4—Sports Week!

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:24:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Coming Attractions!

We're going old school this week and doing straight up sports at Camp Stimey.

So here's what we'll be doing this week: Jack will go to school, Quinn will play in the sandbox, and Sam will force me to play sports with him.

I'm entirely serious.

We have a bunch of errands to run this week, a lot of appointments, and not a lot of extra time.

I'm going to try to fit in a lot of sporty-type activities though. Sam's been dying to play "real golf" so maybe I'll try to take them to a driving range. (What could possibly go wrong?) We'll be doing our regular soccer playgroup that we do each week with WhyMommy, Tech Savvy Mama, and some other friends. We'll be waiting for the dryer repairman to come while we play baseball in the backyard. Maybe I'll force Sam to learn to ride his bike.

I may even attempt to teach Sam what the actual rules of some of the games are.

We will be having a basketball/playground Camp Stimey meet-up on Friday morning. Email if you're interested in coming (stimeyland at gmail dot com). Jack won't be there. (mommyguiltmommyguiltmommyguiltmommyguilt mommyguiltmommyguiltmommyguilt) Edited to Add: My Friday afternoon thing was switched to Monday, so I think our meet-up will be in the afternoon so Jack can come. (mommywinmommywinmommywin)

Also, we're hopefully going to a Washington Mystics game on Saturday. I can't wait to show my three little men that girls can play pro sports too.

CSSS*: Week 3—Ology Week

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 13:19:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Saturday Summary

I have to tell you that straight fucking up, Jack's ESY is totally harshing my Camp Stimey groove. There are two reasons for this:

(1) We have to be at my house at 1 p.m. every single day to pick him up off of his bus or else I look like a really bad mom. You may not know this, but 1 p.m. is right in the middle of the day. Like, right in the middle. For reals.

(2) I feel really guilty if we do something fun without Jack in the morning. It's like we're cheating on him or something.

Due to that and my ineptitude at successfully completing a science experiment, Ology Week has been a little bit of a bummer. Although I would like to thank all of you who reminded me that a failed experiment still teaches my kids about science. That is totally true. Thank you. Unfortunately, it also teaches them about crushing disappointment.

Oh, I kid. (Kind of.)

Anywho...

Day 1—Entomology Day!

Monday was supposed to be errand-running and library day, and we did that. But it was obviously destined to be entomology day for two reasons (again with the two reasons!):

(1) I bought mason jars at the craft store for our experiments, but Quinn immediately requisitioned one as a bug jar, having been pining for such a jar since his July 4th firefly encounters. He spent much of the day searching for bugs. (And much of the night sobbing uncontrollably after we made him release his favorite bug because, "He's going to miiiiiisssss me!")

(2) My Friend L, hereafter known by her blog alias ALW (A Lettered Woman), somehow intuited that it was Impromptu Entomology Day and kicked the shit out of our tiny little jarred bugs by bringing over this monstrosity when she and her kids came by to play:

What do you say? You can't really see it in that photo? Well allow me to show you a better photo:

I didn't let her bring it inside my house. Nor did I let her throw the corpse away in my garden. I made her take it home to dispose of it. I know it's not rational, but this is why I don't plan things like Entomology Day.

Day 2—Letterboxing Day!

We were all ready to go! We had our clue! We were excited! We figured out which way to go on the path!

We were unable to find our treasure at the end of our hunt! Thankfully there was a playground to play on near our parking space. Plus we got a good walk out of it. So not a total loss.

Day 3—Letterboxing Day, Take Two! And Archaeology!

Quinn, Sam, and I had a much more satisfying Letterboxing expedition on Wednesday while Jack was in school (cue mommy guilt). We found the Letterbox!

Plus, we saw geese, had a duck follow us, found a mother deer with her two babies, and saw a beaver. (Cue double dose of mommy guilt.) It was like the best walk ever.

Here is the journal we created for our expeditions. And do you see how Sam's handwriting is responding to my nagging? Good stuff!

We let Jack help us decorate our title page with our Team Stimey stamp, which is, naturally, a gerbil.

Well, it's a mouse—or at least that's what the cat stamp set it came with claims—but ~~we're~~ I'm calling it a gerbil.

It being Archaeology Day, we learned the difference between fossils and artifacts and excavated the small toys I buried in clay on Monday.

Had those been actual artifacts, we would have learned nothing about Team Stimey, circa Monday. They were not very careful at their dig.

We also did a couple of other projects, such as going through a trash can to learn about what I throw away when I'm sitting at my desk (fudgesicle sticks and stray pieces of popcorn, apparently) and thinking about what someone excavating our house in a hundred years would learn about us (we like gadgets).

Day 4—Paleontology Day!

On Paleontology Day we made this foam dinosaur that I found in the clearance bin at the craft store.

That's it. I kind of ran out of steam.

Also, we dug in the sandbox with fresh sand originally destined to be dyed and used in sand art.

Silver linings, right?

Day 5—Spelunking Day, Trial Run!

Yesterday, as you may remember, we went to a nature center and played in (and on) a synthetic cave. And we saw animals and went on a walk and had most excellent guest campers. This was one of the high points of our week. It was a lot of fun.

Day 6—Spelunking Day, For Real This Time!

If all goes well, as this is being posted, we will be on our way to Luray Caverns, where we will get to go inside a real cave. I'm really excited!

And that was Ology Week. Not the most conventionally successful of weeks, but it'll do.

"This Camp Doesn't Carry Enough Insurance."

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:32:00 +0000

We were mid-Camp Stimey meet-up when my friend E busted out with the most apt phrase of the day: "This camp doesn't carry enough insurance."

True that.

Let me back up.

A small but dedicated (and fabulous) group of campers met the regular cast of Camp Stimey at a nature center to hang out and cause a ruckus today. My friend E and her kids came as did my friend (and blogger) Urban Mama and two of her kids. There were supposed to be more attendees, but things came up (as they often do). We missed you and hope that you can make it to the next Camp Stimey meet-up.

We had a great time. This particular nature center is the best because they have a lot to do. There is a canoe and a hut, an area with old-timey log cabin furnishings, a play room with toys and small reptiles, and several birds.

They also have a large room set up to look like the outdoors, complete with pond (and live turtles and fish!), a bridge, animal taxidermy (I know. But the kids like it.), and even a cave for little guys to climb through.

There are no ropes or signs telling you where to go or not go, but it's pretty obvious. You know, unless you tend to look at the world a little differently.

I have never been so surprised in my life as when I looked up at the top of the cave only to see Jack petting the stuffed animal as far away from the ground (and safety) as he could possibly get.

To my credit, I dropped my camera and ran to save him instead of taking a photo. So you will have to accept my artist's rendition.

I know this photo is not easy to decipher.
Just know that he was up high and far away.
It was REALLY disconcerting.
Of course by "save him," I mean, "go stand by the cave entrance and start counting from one to three over and over to cajole him down."

To his credit, he came right over and came down.

"I was being careful. I was keeping my balance," he kept telling me. I didn't want to yell at him because, really, it was not clearly marked that you weren't allowed up there. But then again, I wanted to impress upon him that he had been in the wrong place. Poor guy. He definitely got the message, but I think he was a little confused.

Now aren't you sorry you missed that?

And if you're not sorry you missed that, aren't you sorry that you missed the forced hiking we insisted our kids do?

But we did see some cool animals. Even some that weren't wards of the nature center. For example, we saw either the fattest otter known to humankind, or the least beavery-tailed beaver.

And even though it was dicey for a while, we didn't lose a single child. Although mine were definitely the most ill behaved. And most likely to wander off.

It was definitely, finally (mostly) a Camp Stimey Ology week SUCCESS! Thanks for coming, E and Urban Mama! Team Stimey had a great time with you!

Failure Addendum

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:20:00 +0000

When I was listing this week's failures, I forgot a couple of things. I forgot to mention that my house is a big fat failure of filth. You should see this place. I have lost any bit of interest in cleaning my house that I may have ever had. It's getting dire around here.

Plus, my friend gave me a used 100-piece puzzle the other day, and Sam and I sat down to do it yesterday. Only there were only 69 pieces in the box. Well, 70 if you count the random other puzzle piece that didn't belong to our puzzle that was in there.

On the plus side, Sam seems to have developed excellent comic timing and dry sarcasm. After he determined that the puzzle was unsolvable and wandered off, I continued to try, having not yet counted the pieces or accepted that a third of the puzzle was missing. ("I'll show him!" I thought.)

Perfectly timed and great tone of voice: "Good luck finishing your impossible puzzle."

When did my sweet young child turn into a funny grown-up kid? At least that isn't a failure.

My Week of Failure

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 00:59:00 +0000

Well, damn. I have spent this week trying to find fun, creative ways to teach my kids about science and stuff.

It's not going very well.

Evidently, science is not my for-tay! I have set up complicated experiment after complicated experiment only to have nothing happen. I'm starting to think that I should stick to things that have a known outcome.

Our first failure wasn't an experiment, but it was an experience. We traipsed deep into the woods to find a letterbox.

Because everyone I tell about letterboxing seems confused: You follow clues to find a box someone has hidden in nature. You find the box and put your stamped mark in the book that is in the box. Then you take the stamp in the box and stamp the book you have brought with you. It's basically a fun little treasure hunt.

Except when you drag your three little kids on their very first letterboxing expedition down a tiny dirt trail, through mud, and over a creek to find this log:

This log that doesn't have a letterbox under it, as it is supposed to.

Failure one. (We did find a letterbox the next day on what was the best walk ever, except Jack wasn't with us. More on that on Saturday.)

Okay, well, that didn't work out too well, so we'll do an experiment instead. We're doing geology this week, so let's make us some homemade stalagmites and stalactites. Great! I dragged Sam and Quinn up and down the health and hygiene aisle at the grocery store to find Epsom salts, whatever the fuck they are, bought jars, found string, and took numerous photos to publish when our awesome stalagmites and stalactites formed.

Look! Aren't they cool?

Oh, what? You can't see them? That's because you CAN'T MAKE STALAGMITES AND STALACTITES AT HOME. I don't actually believe they exist in caves either. And icicles are total bullshit as well.

Screw science.

We'll do art instead. I know! Sand art would be fun. And why buy colored sand to layer in jars when you can just take some of the sand you paid $5 per 50 pounds for and throw some food coloring in it?

I'll tell you why. It doesn't fucking work. I should have known that it wasn't going to work when I told WhyMommy that I was going to do it and she looked skeptical and told me that sand was basically tiny rocks and rocks wouldn't take food coloring. Guess what? She's a rocket scientist. When she has something to say about science, I should believe her. Lesson learned.

See, first of all, food coloring only seems to come in gel form these days and so my little drops of gel turned into sand-covered clumps. So then I dyed water and soaked sand in it to see if that would work.

Guess what? It didn't. It may look like that little glob of sand on the left of the plate is red, but that is just the red water sloughing off of it. And the sand didn't pick up any green (on the right).

Really, this week of Camp Stimey, while not bad, has not been our most successful thus far. I'm counting on you local ladies to make tomorrow's nature center meet-up a good one for me! (And, you know, for you too. I guess.) It's not too late to email me if you want to come. I think we're going to have a good group!!

Unless, that is, I fail at that too by giving you all the wrong address or something.

By the Way, Jack's Doing Great

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:56:00 +0000

With all the hubbub leading up to the start of Jack's summer school, I forgot to tell you how it went. I think I forgot because it's been such a non-event. Every morning, we sit on the porch and wait for the bus to come and then he wanders over to the bus when it shows up. Four hours later, the bus pulls up again and Jack gets off—noticeably tireder, but happy.

The first day he curled up on our porch steps after the bus dropped him off and closed his eyes. The second day the bus aide had to wake him up when they got to my house. And it's only a 25 minute ride from the school. Today, he got off the bus, took four steps and then laid down on the grass and closed his eyes.

All three days though, as soon as we got him inside the house, he perked right up. Especially the day I baked him cookies.

By all reports, cursory as they may be, everything is going well. It sounds like he's having fun. He's content to go to school. They did math based on bags of M&Ms today. How do you beat that?

Hopefully there will be similarly non-eventful things for me to forget to tell you for the rest of the month.

Oh, Right...the Glittery Hats!

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 00:39:00 +0000

I entirely forgot that I was supposed to show you July 4th photos of my cute kids in their adorable glittery hats. And then I realized that I hadn't posted for a couple of days and remembered that I could post such photos with relatively little effort.

Look! Glittery hats! And pinwheels! And American flags! And Transformers jammies!

Every year, my neighbors host a potluck in their yard for the Fourth. Pretty much everybody from the neighborhood comes and it's a lot of fun. This year I wore the same t-shirt as another woman.

I'm totally firing my stylist.

This year, Jack suggested that we play ring toss with a glow ring.

Yeah, that's Alex trying to ring Jack. He missed.

Wow! That cupcake sure is patriotic! (And probably toxic. I don't think I've ever seen that particular blue in nature.)

More highlights of July 4th in my neighborhood are the swarms of really slow, dumb fireflies. They're like nature's fireworks.

Nature's slow, dumb fireworks.

Are you looking for actual fireworks? Well, my town sets off fireworks two minutes from my house. They block off our street on the fourth, we're so close. And there's a nearby park with some great viewing.

And afterwards, we walk two minutes to get home. And we laugh and laugh and laugh at all the people who have to walk to their cars and then drive home.

And the glow sticks? Don't worry. We get full use of them in Stimeyland.

And yes, I know Jack is asleep on the floor. And that the photo is blurry. But the cute! The cute!

CSCA*: Week 3—"Ology" Week

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:56:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Coming Attractions!

We're celebrating the sciences next week at Camp Stimey, specifically those that end in "-ology"—paleontology, archaeology, and geology. Plus another fun activity on Tuesday that is not really science, but I'm going to tie it in with archaeology.

Basically, I want to go to Luray Caverns, so I figured out a way to work it into a theme week.

It's also Jack's first week of summer school, so we can't go out during the first half of the day and have too much fun without him. Plus, he might be tired when he gets home, so I'm going to try to keep it kind of mellow.

I've found all kinds of activities online that we're going to do. I saved the links this time, so if we do them, I'll let you know what they are in the Saturday Summary. There are so many cool sites to find science activities for kids. I kind of got lost in them, which is why I didn't finish writing this post last night. One that is very pertinent to this week is Ology. (I named my week before I found this site, thank you very much.) Another cool one is Good Sites For Kids and I also found a site that offers free power point presentations on just about any subject. Of course I don't vouch for the scientific accuracy found on any of these sites.

Monday is going to be Preparation-ology Day! We'll go to the library, the hardware store, and the craft store for the supplies we're going to need for the week. I could also call this Errand-ology Day. Or maybe Do A Lot of Pacing While Waiting For Jack To Get Home-ology Day.

Tuesday will be Letterboxing Day! I have been encouraged to go letterboxing by my blog-friend Whirlwind. It's like an outdoor treasure hunt. I have my clues all printed out and ready to go. And it may pain my sister, who has a master's degree in archaeology, but I'm going to use this as a lesson in tomorrow's day, which is Archaeology Day. (Yes, Ann, I know that treasure hunting is not archaeology.) I may set up a treasure hunt in our back yard too, complete with map.

Wednesday will be Archaeology Day! (But you already knew that.) On Monday, we will have prepared a "dig" in a foil pan that we will excavate on Wednesday. Maybe I'll bury stuff in their sandbox too.

Thursday will be Paleontology Day! It would make sense to go to the Museum of Natural History on this day, and I would, if not for Jack's school. We'll see how things go. If he's not too tired when he gets home, maybe we'll trek down there. Othewise we're going to be coloring pictures of dinosaurs.

Friday will be Geology Day! I'm excited about this day. We're going to make stalagmites and stalctites at home. We're going to look at rocks and sand under our microscope. We're going to collect some rocks and maybe make sand art in bottles.

And...

Friday will be the very first Camp Stimey Blogger Meet-Up! We'll be meeting at a Montgomery County nature center in the afternoon. We'll run around and play. If anyone wants to go on a nature walk, we can do that too. Or we can just sit and chat while our kids embarrass us in front of all the other parents.

You know I'm all about the safety and the not disclosing too much information on the internet (ha!), so I'm not going to publish details here. If you want to come (and this means YOU—all are welcome, as long as you're not a psycho), email me at stimeyland at gmail dot com.

Saturday is Luray Caverns Day! I am very excited. Hopefully not excited in a "We're going to the U.S. Capitol way!" but more in a "No one is going to get lost in a dark, cold cavern!" kind of way.

We'll see how it goes!

*****

Plus, Sunday is a DC-area Pre-BlogHer meet up at National Harbor, organized by the fabulous Devra. You don't have to be going to BlogHer to attend. RSVP here.

CSSS*: Week 2—Government & History Week

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:25:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Saturday Summary!!

I was a little worried about Government and History Week before it started. I wasn't entirely sure what to do for the week or how much my kids would be into it. But I couldn't pass up such a week when it would end with fireworks on July 4th, so I dove right on in.

Day 1: Learning About the Three Branches of Government Day!

We had a lot going on Monday, so camp consisted of some afternoon table work when we learned about the three branches of government. We did this with a carefully thought out (ha!) lesson while my kids were eating dinner.

See why I needed a clipboard?

We'd also gone to the library that morning and found books on the government and early American history, so I read one of those to my kids as well.

The part my kids liked the most was when I found some Schoolhouse Rock on YouTube. Well, Quinn was slightly terrified by it, but Jack and Sam loved it.

We watched How a Bill Becomes a Law and Three-Ring Government. Several times.

I ended the day feeling pretty good about Government Camp.

Day 2: American Revolution Day!

On Tuesday, I had to take my car into the dealership to finally get the seatbelt installed. (Funny story. They fixed secondary problems, but the original problem that I took the car in for a MONTH ago? They didn't fix it, or seem to even notice it. I'm still not quite sure how that happened. Next time I'm going to crawl in the car and point to the problem before I leave. Aaaaargh.)

Anyway, I took Camp Stimey to the dealership in a totebag. We read a book about the Revolutionary War and worked on some worksheets that I'd printed out. Sam and Jack colored and put together little books about American symbols while Quinn ripped up little pieces of paper.

Later that day we watched more Schoolhouse Rock—this time No More Kings.

Day 3: U.S. Capitol Tour Day!

Capitol Tour day has been pretty well documented already.

Although I didn't show you this, which is Jack being the Bill from Schoolhouse Rock.

He's sittin' there on Capitol Hill...

Day 4: Embarrass Daddy at Work Day!

On Thursday we went downtown to have lunch with Alex and go to the Museum of American History. Because the Metro red line is still moving slow, we drove a long way into DC, then took the Metro for the last couple of stops.

(Here's a tip: there is always ample free, untimed parking near the Shaw-Howard University Metro stop. Alex told me that. And he seems to be right. Alex knows a lot of stuff.)

There were fountains at our Metro stop. It is a miracle that I was able to drag my campers away.

See my little commuter there, with his newspaper?

It was really fun to have lunch with Alex. Look how handsome he is in his work clothes!

And look at the diligence. Work never ends.

The little dudes enjoyed lunch, but they enjoyed the fountain Alex was smart enough to position us near even more. Although I was a little worried that someone was going to fall in and then our day would have to suddenly end.

Guess who I thought would fall in?
Hint: His name starts with "Q" and ends with "inn."

Then Alex took us on a tour of the government building in which he works. We saw lots of cool things and met lots of cool people and wreaked lots of cool havoc. Honestly, that tour was one of the best parts of the week. I don't know how much of it he really wants on the internet though, so I'll just publish this photo of him looking totally thrilled that we've come to visit him.

Notice that he's making us take the freight elevator.

As if that weren't enough of an outing, I then forced my kids to walk over to the National Museum of American History, which was packed, it being two days before the fourth of July.

But first, Sam borrowed money from me to support the arts.

My kids were really excited to be greeted at the museum by C-3PO.

There are some very cool things at this museum, foremost among them, the Invention at Play exhibit and the Spark!Lab. The Spark!Lab was a children's area where kids could experiment with different activity centers and do crafts and stuff. We hung out there happily for at least an hour.

After we left our safe, happy little Spark!Lab, the rest of the museum was kind of harsh. There were just so many people and my kids were kind of done by that time. We went to a couple of exhibits, including one featuring the Star Spangled Banner flag. All of us thought that one was pretty cool.

Jack LOVES Barack Obama. Good kid.

I have to say, it was cool to take my kids to the places we went on Wednesday and Thursday after teaching them a little bit about the government and history of America. I think it really made a difference in their enjoyment of the sites we went to in DC. It is amazing to see them absorb knowledge.

Day 5: ~~George Washington~~ Joeymom Day!

I just wrote about going to Virginia to visit George Washington's birthplace and Joeymom.

If you want an alternate take on Camp Stimey, you can read what she has to say about it.

Day 6: Independence Day!

This hasn't happened yet, so I can't write about it. Barring disaster though, there will be fireworks and glittery red, white, and blue hats from the dollar section at Target.

Camp Stimey's Attendance Nearly Doubled Today!

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:44:00 +0000

Waaaaay back in spring of 2007 when I started blogging and started seeking out autism blogs, I found Life with Joey. You've heard me talk about that blog and its writer, Joeymom (naturally), here fairly regularly. That is because her blog was one of the first that I regularly read and she is one of the women whom I feel that I have really connected with in this weird little online community we have.

Why do I blog?

Lots of reasons, but women like Joeymom are probably the main reason.

We have become friends over the course of the past two years, but even though she lives in Virginia and I live not far away in Maryland, we had never met in person.

Until today.

Joeymom invited us to come spend the afternoon with her and Andy and Joey at Wakefield, the birthplace of George Washington. Because she's all about the Government/American History Week of Camp Stimey.

Meet today's campers: Sam, Andy, Joey, Quinn (that's what he does if you ask him to smile), and Jack, our little snacker.

Wakefield is incredibly beautiful and was a really nice place to let all the little dudes run around and get to know each other.

It was cool to see the historical stuff there, but my kids were more interested in getting to know Joey and Andy. I was pleased because I could mostly let my children run wild and actually talk with Joeymom. I know! Crazy, huh? Conversation? With five munchkins running around?

Of course, because today was a federal holiday, I dragged Alex along for precisely that reason. He did a lot of the munchkin wrangling. Plus he found all kinds of gross and/or semi-terrifying things to delight and/or freak out all the kids.

He started out with a giant bug exoskeleton he found, moved on to an active bee hive in a tree, and came in for the win in the Animal Freakshow Trifecta with a rabbit skull.

At least we think that's what it was. It was pretty cool. See its gruesome little fangs?

Sam found a soul mate and bosom buddy in Andy. Joeymom, I hope you're prepared for frequent phone calls from us. Sam really wants to chat with Andy. Sam was a little bit devastated that we weren't going home with his new buddies.

While Sam and Andy were becoming lifelong friends, Joey was really enjoying my watch. He set and re-set that thing over and over. He has some sort of magical gift too, because after we left and I set it back to the right time, I noticed that Joey's last guess at the time had been less than ten minutes off.

And while all that was happening and Joeymom and I were looking at the cutest baby pigs you've ever seen (mmmm...bacon), Jack was busy doing some horse whispering.

And lest you think we got out of there without Quinn manipulating me into doing exactly what he wanted, I bought him a new friend.

That kid has me wrapped around his little finger.

Aside from the hideous traffic on the way there, Wakefield with Joeymom and Crew was one of the high points of our week. I'm so happy to have finally met her, and it better not be two years before I see her again.

(Thank you, Joeymom! We had a great day with you!)

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:30:00 +0000

Yesterday I called my county's ESY office to see if I could make any headway in finding out some more information about Jack's summer school. I got a return call on my cell phone from the site coordinator about five minutes before 5 p.m.

(Hooray!)

We talked briefly, then I asked if the teachers would be setting up their classrooms next Monday and if Jack and I could stop by to meet his teacher.

"But school starts on Monday," she said.

"Uh...oh...um...okay," I stuttered. "I thought it started on the 7th."

"No, it starts Monday," she said.

I recovered, even though I was sure the letter had said July 7th. I asked if there was another day we could come in. She told us that Jack and I could come by Thursday (today) to see the teachers, although she didn't have her roster with her so didn't know the name of Jack's teacher.

I give you this whole backstory because of this: I am not the type of person to make a mistake on something like the start date of school. I will compulsively double and triple check to make sure I have it right, but I ALWAYS do.

So I went home and checked the letter. And it said that school starts July 7.

Of 2008.

Well, thank god I'm such a rabble-rouser, otherwise I never would have noticed the "8" instead of the "9" and the bus would have rolled up on Monday morning and we would all have been like, "Whaaaaaa—?" And Jack would have had to attend his first day of ESY in his pajamas.

Anyway, Jack and I went in this morning and it couldn't have gone better. His teacher is the resource teacher from his own school, so he knows her and likes her. He is in a small class and he will have buddies from his kindergarten class with him.

I am so relieved I can't even tell you.

The teacher even said that she sends home daily notes and will give all the parents her cell number so we can be sure to get in touch with her if we need to.

*ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping* *ping*

(That's the sound of all my ducks lining up in a row, thank Jeebus.)

Team Stimey Goes to Washington

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:02:00 +0000

Alternatively Titled: "Stimey and Her Stupid Fucking Hubris"

Oh, he looks like he can be quiet:

Yeah, they look calm and ready to follow directions:

Uh, huh, the woman behind the camera seems competent to take ~~a photo~~ three kids on a tour of the Capitol:

Although I don't know why Quinn looks so damn sad.
Today was the day the little dudes and I were scheduled to take a tour of the capitol building. Why were you all so encouraging when I told you I had signed up to do this with them? Why weren't you all, "Hey, you moron, things are going to go really, really badly for you! Snap out of it!"

Why didn't you say that?

No...you were all "the capitol tour sounds great," and "good reminder to take advantage of all the stuff so close by," and "yay for Camp Stimey! YAY!!!"

Thanks a lot, assholes.

I was high off of finding a $3 for 2 hours parking spot only four blocks from the Capitol when the security guard turned us away from the visitor center for trying to sneak in a weapon. I'd forgotten all about the miniature life hammer I keep on my keychain. I should have taken it as a sign.

The guard told me that I had to take the blade back outside and that he "couldn't tell me what to do with it once it's outside" and "it's up to you, what you do with it outside."

I think he was using code to try to tell me something about how I could get around the rules. I couldn't figure out if he meant that I should hide it deep within my purse or try to use it to take a hostage and bully my way in, but I was too fucking dumb to figure it out.

So I hid it in a corner crevice in hopes that it would still be there when I came back out.

It felt a little bit like I was planting a bomb.
I kept expecting to hear, "Hey! You there! Freeze!"

After that, security went mostly smoothly other than the fact that Jack almost got away from us.

We were still standing in line in the visitor center waiting for our tour's turn to see the introductory movie when it really hit home about how badly this was going to go for me. Like any good mom, I then turned away from my children and reached out to my twitter support group:

Tweeted while STILL IN LINE for the tour, by the way.

I can see the future.

The movie didn't go too badly, and I think Sam actually learned some stuff. Then we headed off to the rotunda where we had exactly one moment of awe and wonderment. This moment:

I don't know if it was the other seven million people in the rotunda with us, the echoing noise, or what, but Jack and Quinn retreated to a statue of James Garfield and Jack started compulsively tracing the etching with his finger.

Quinn moved around the statue one way. I went around the other way to intercept him. During the .06 seconds he was out of my sight, he stepped up onto the bottom of the pedestal of the statue and then plummeted to the ground.

Commence sobbing, frantic hugging, and shrieks of, "I want to go home! I want to go home!" (From Quinn, not me, I swear.)

Cue Sam, who hears someone complaining, and chimes in with "I want to go home! I want to go home!"

Notice Jack, who is pointing at some room the tour doesn't go to and saying, "I want to go in that room! I want to go in that room!"

We hung in for the tour's visit to The Statuary Room with the Listening Spot (a.k.a. The Room with All the Statues in which the Tour Guide Made Us Stand in a Claustrophobic Little Huddle to Hear Absolutely Nothing Because There Were Seven Million People in the Room) mainly because I didn't know how to get back to the visitor center.

Although I did see one woman leave holding a plastic bag under her vomiting child's face, so I guess we didn't have the worst tour of the day.

As far as I can tell, there was at least one more stop on the tour, in a room with something like six hallways branching off from it. Our first guess was wrong, but our second guess led us straight back to the visitor center and this statue of Freedom (hallelujah!), which is a copy of one that sits atop the Capitol Dome.

Get the symbolism?

It was here that another tourist saw me rolling my eyes and apologized, thinking she'd stood in the way of my camera. I had to assure her that, no, in fact I was rolling my eyes at my horrible children.

We departed the visitor center and Jack finally started to have fun by chasing what were possibly the slowest moving pigeons in the world.

And I found my life hammer. And I noticed that the top two buttons of my v-neck shirt had come undone, exposing the top of my bright blue bra.

While wondering how long exactly my shirt had been unbuttoned (Maybe that was why that older gentlemen in the rotunda had been so nice to me?), I looked at my watch to discover that I had ten minutes to hustle my three tired kids to the car before our meter ran out.

We started moving fast, me holding Jack and Quinn's hands because, left to their own devices, they MEANDER. VERY. SLOWLY. We were in the middle of crossing a street when a combination of my momentum, the hand holding, and Quinn's unfortunate act of stumbling led to my pretty much hurling him face first flat into the asphalt.

That's some quality parenting there, people.

We were late getting back to our car, but we didn't get a ticket. (Phew.)

So, to sum up, I will give you my recommendation for Touring the U.S. Capitol With Children. And my recommendation is: Maybe don't do it.

I think that going to see the Capitol is a great idea. Maybe play on the lawn, take a picnic, stare at the very cool architecture. Based on my experience with a four-, six-, and almost eight-year-old, I would say that eight is probably a good age to start touring the Capitol. And let me be clear: your youngest child should be eight.

All in all, this wasn't the worst experience we've had. But neither was it the best. I'll tell you how it goes next time we visit, in 2013.

Preparation, Schmeparation

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:07:00 +0000

Jack is going to special education summer school (ESY), and it starts July 7. As in Tuesday. I kept waiting and waiting for information to come in the mail detailing what would happen at ESY and when our meet-the-teacher day would be.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

Last week the letter came, as well a letter from the transportation department. The sum total of information I got? Pick-up and drop-off times for the bus and an emergency information sheet that gets sent in on the first day of school. Oh, and this:

"If your child does not communicate well, please include a visible name tag and 3 x 5 card in his back pack with name, address, and relevant phone numbers at home and at work as well as a number for a responsible adult selected by you, to take charge of your child if you are not available."

I'm sure this will go well.

These people have never seen my child before. I have my fingers crossed that he doesn't hide his 3 x 5 card, claim to be Anita from the 30 Day Shred DVD (his new alter-ego, FYI), end up in the wrong classroom, and get sent home to somebody else's house.

They didn't even tell me if I should pack him a lunch.

Above and beyond all of THAT, which I'm just trying to not think about right now, there's the issue of preparing my special needs child for school. He won't know his teacher's name, he will never have seen his classroom before, he won't know where the bathroom is. He will be put on a bus and then have entirely new people introduce him to an entirely new atmosphere.

I might reiterate at this point that these are special needs children, many of whom don't adjust to new things very well. Fortunately Jack is fairly adaptable, but not all special needs or typical kids are. And Jack is not always adaptable. Which is why I try to prepare him for things like this.

Fortunately in the letter, the site coordinator wrote that we could contact her at a certain phone number. So I called her to see if I could get a teacher's name to give to Jack or maybe even get a tour of the classroom on a day when they were setting up.

Of course, the number was for the school, and the school told me that the site coordinator wouldn't be in until July 7. Which, if you remember from the top of this post, is the first day of ESY.

Are you kidding me?

We ended up stopping by the school today to wander the halls and peek in the classroom windows and play on the playground a little so Jack at least has some idea of what to expect. At least when he gets off the bus on Tuesday, it won't be the first time he sees the place.

Jack on the ESY school's playground, all wrapped
up in a blanket on a 90-degree day.

CSCA*: Week 2—Government & History Week

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 12:05:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Coming Attractions!

Please keep in mind that all Camp Stimey Coming Attractions are subject to the whims of Stimey. You just never know when I'm going to decide to trash Constitution Day and decide to make it Nail Cutting Day instead.

It's been known to happen.

Alex just informed me that my small children won't enjoy the National Archives, so I guess I don't get to see the Constitution this week. Stupid young kids.

Jack has a playdate (yay!) on Monday, so we're going to drop him off (fingers crossed!) and head out to the library to find some books on the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, the American Revolution, and the three branches of government. And, knowing Quinn, some books about puppies.

I've printed out a bunch of pages from the internet ("the tubes") for my little dudes to work on over the course of the week. There are some good places if you google things like "bill of rights kids" or "branches of government kids" and whatnot. I've already forgotten from where I printed my worksheets or I would link to them. (Sorry.)

The rest of Monday and Tuesday are looking kind of busy for us, so we might stick to doing some learning about history without field trips. Maybe we'll put out our baby pool in the backyard.

Wednesday is going to be See Real Live Government Buildings in DC Day. I actually have us scheduled to go on a tour of the US Capitol. I can't believe how dumb I am. As I was clicking the "Reserve Tickets Now" button, I was like, "Oh dear lord, at least one of my kids is going to cause a national security breach and we're going to end up on the news." And then I clicked on it anyway.

Free tour. The US Capitol. Team Stimey. What could possibly go wrong?

I think that's about all we're going to be able to handle on Wednesday. We might drive by the White House and the Supreme Court building. If, that is, we're not in some sort of Capitol Holding Cell.

Thursday we're going to try to visit Alex downtown for lunch and might try to hit the American History Museum.

Here's a tip for any of you who visit museums or other attractions. Before you go, always check their websites to see if there are activities to do at home or at the museum with your kids. I find that almost every museum has these. And if they don't, that might be a red flag that the museum is not "child friendly."

Interestingly, there were no such pages for the US Capitol Tour.

Alex has Friday off of work, so we might just hang out that day and maybe learn about the American Revolution in preparation for the fourth.

I was trying to think of a place to have a Camp Stimey meet-up for my internet buddies ("tubes friends"), but couldn't find a good time or place to fit it in. I think if I try to do it in a place like a museum, I'll just spend the whole time chasing my kids. We might do better in a fenced location. (Hey! Maybe at the Capitol Holding Cell!) I'll try next week, when we have more than four days.

CSSS*: Week 1—Transportation Week

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 14:04:00 +0000

* Camp Stimey Saturday Summary!!

We had an unbelievably successful first week of Camp Stimey. It was amazing to me to see how adding some structured activities to the day resulted in so much less whining and so much more happy, quiet, cooperative playing when there was free time.

Wow. Active parenting. Who would have guessed it works?

See how happy they were on Day One?
Of course, this being Transportation Week, it was pretty easy to come up with fun activities (followed by much ice cream). Next week is Government/History Week. Submit your ideas now—I'm going to need them!

Here's the quick version; more dedicated readers can read the details at the bottom of the post:

Train Day:

Aviation Day:

Personal Grooming and ~~House~~ Kids' Bedroom Cleaning Day:

Boat Day:

Bus Day:

I won't be offended if you stop reading right here. This might be a long, photo-heavy post. (As if it's not already.)

Every camp day we start out with a circle time. I write out our agenda for the day so the little dudes know what to expect. Sometimes circle time involves reading stories and doing handwriting practice. Sometimes it is just a quick rundown of what we'll be doing that day.

Often times I save book work for our end of the day "Table Activities," the most important of which is writing about our favorite part of the day in our journals. (Quinn dictates to me and then scribbles while the others write and draw.)

Now for a quick (ha!) rundown of each day.

Day 1: Train Day!

We started with Train Day because who doesn't love trains? I read them books about trains and then we practiced writing the letter "T" and drawing trains. Even Quinn could draw a "T".

Our outing on Train Day was a trip to Wheaton Regional Park, where there is a miniature train ride and a carousel. Team Junior Stimey was suitably excited.

After the train we went on the carousel because a carousel transports people, even if only for short distances and in tiny circles.

Well, actually we went on it because, really? Was I going to tell my kids no? And I think you can look at Jack's face and tell me that I made the right decision.

We then went to the giant playground against all of my better judgment. There I turned into a stressed-out, yelling, hissing, overprotective mother. That playground is huge, spread-out, and has really bad sightlines so if one or, say, two of your children are unreliable wanderers, chances are really good that you might lose them periodically and freak out.

Or at least that is the case with me. We didn't stay long.

Day Two: Aviation Day!

Circle time on Aviation Day involved learning a little bit about airplanes using materials I found at the College Park Aviation Museum website. They have several kid-friendly activities available for free download. The best was paper airplanes.

Sam was able to make his own, Jack used my prototype, and Quinn got really, really angry that I was trying to force some crazy "working" airplane on him. Then he got crazy angry that his ~~wadded up piece of paper~~ self-made airplane wouldn't fly.

The frustration of not understanding proper aerodynamics was quickly forgotten once we got to the College Park Aviation Museum, which was our outing for the day. I don't think we have ever had a museum experience that went this smoothly.

It's one big room with good sightlines (Pay attention, Wheaton Regional!) so my guys could be in different places and I didn't lose anyone. There is so much for kids to do, and there are even goody bags when they leave.

There is a real airplane they can play in, there are pilot clothes to get dressed up in. There is a flight simulator for them to crash airplanes on....

Seriously. Happiness all around.

I'd brought a lunch to eat on the museum's outdoor eating balcony and then we played on the little wooden airplanes they have in the courtyard.

Day Three: Personal Grooming/House Cleaning Day!

Um. I took Sam to get his hair cut. I cut everyone's finger and toe nails. I groomed the dog. I cleaned my kids' room.

Fini.

Day Four: Boat Day!

You want to know what is an awesome resource? Twitter. Wednesday night I asked Twitter where a good place to take my kids on a boat where they wouldn't drown was. And Twitter answered with a bunch of great suggestions. The winner came from @delowe who suggested Lake Needwood.

Lake Needwood is this huge lake in Rockville (Who knew?!) that has tons of fun activities. They have pedal boats, rowboats, canoes, kayaks, a boat tour on weekends, fishing, and probably more.

Seeing as how my kids aren't always the calmest, we chose the pedal boats. (Good decision too; Jack kept insisting on trying to stand up: "No! I can balance!!!") We also dragged my Friend L along, sending her anxiety about her kids, a large body of water, and a small flotation device into high gear.

But it was a lot of fun.

They even have a scavenger hunt so your kids can be on the lookout for geese, frogs, turtles, snakes (scanning....scanning...), and more.

Sam, scavenging.
Here's a tip though: don't necessarily pick the hottest, uncloudiest day yet of the summer to go boating on a lake.

Day Five: Bus Day!

The whole point of making this week Transportation Week was because I knew we were going to have to go on a bus on Friday. I'm going to take pity on any of you who have read this far and not write anymore. I'll just point you to yesterday's post about about our bus trip.

And that was Camp Stimey Week One. Whew! Did it take you a whole week to read that? I apologize for always being so verbose. I'm aware that it's a problem I have. Sorry.

So...Very...Sweaty...

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:23:00 +0000

There is nothing like an hour-long bus journey to make you happy that you have a car.

Our car had to go back to the dealership today to get its seatbelt fixed. Lest you're worried that this is our last Team Stimey Goes to the Chrysler Dealership story, don't fret. They ordered the wrong seatbelt so we're going back next week.

@&)#!^$&*%@*%#!!!!!!!

Fortunately, we still had much that needed to be taken care of on the car, so leaving it there all day was not a waste. I may have mentioned to you that I was planning on throwing the munchkins on a bus to get them to the dealership when the car was ready. Well, that was an awesome idea. Especially on a million-degree day.

Bright side: it wasn't raining.

So here's what happened:

4 p.m.: I got the call that the car would be ready soon. They told me they would call me back when the paperwork was ready so I wouldn't get there too early. Needless to say, I left immediately.

4:12 p.m.: And by "immediately" I mean "after several minutes of forcing kids to pee, put on shoes, and stop dicking around."

4:14 p.m.: Our bus departs the bus stop.

4:15 p.m.: Team Stimey arrives at the bus stop and looks sadly at our bus driving away.

We learned several things while we waited in the hot sun on the side of the road looking wistfully at the cars driving by, the most important of which is that waiting for buses in the hot sun is NOT fun.

We also learned that traffic seems to go a lot faster if you're trying to keep three kids safely away from it on the side of the road that if you are safely seat belted (grrr...) in a car.

We learned that Sam can complain A LOT.

And we learned that complaining doesn't make the bus come any faster.

Eventually the bus came and we piled on. The bus was packed, so we all stood. Of course Jack almost instantly charmed a guy into giving him his seat. Jack had a little group of four adults that he chatted with, although the guy he took the seat from was his primary target. I have to say, all that therapy we drag Jack too has made a huge difference in him. He didn't stop talking for the entire bus ride, which was 20 or 30 minutes. And he had his new buddy laughing and giving him high fives and chatting.

Outstanding!

Finally enough people got off the extremely hot bus that we Sam and Quinn got to sit down. I stood in front of them and noticed that Quinn's sweaty head kept banging on my leg. It was because Mr. I Don't Nap at Home had fallen asleep on a crowded, noisy city bus.

I wish I could show you a photo of how hilarious he looked, but even I, who will take photos almost anywhere, was too intimidated to do so on a bus.

Naturally I made us get off the bus one stop too early, which resulted in making Sam extremely angry (and whiny) at me. Then he spent the next four blocks we had to walk whining about how hot is was and how tired he was and how he was going to just sit down where he was.

And even though before I had kids, I swore I would never tell them, "Okay, we'll go without you!" I went ahead and told him, "Okay, we'll go without you! I think you might be sad and hot here on this corner." (I was a waaaaaay better mom before I actually had kids.)

It was kind of a hilarious journey. And for all the complaining, it really wasn't all that bad. But the best part was when we walked into the service department and my cell phone rang. It was the dealership calling me to tell me my car was ready. And that incredible timing kind of made the whole thing worth while.

I'm Tired and My Thighs Hurt

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:20:00 +0000

So I keep hearing about how all y'all are going to be Hot by BlogHer or Shredded, or Half as Small as You (HASAY) and it makes me think that now that all of y'all are super healthy and svelte, I'm going to look even more NOT by BlogHer, Puffed, or (eek) Twice as Big as You (TABAY).

You know what I say to that?

I was going to write something like, "Oh, hell no!" but what I would really (politely) say is, "Oh, good for you!" and then go mutter in the corner about cellulite and muffin tops.

With this in mind, I've decided to suck it up and do the 30 Day Shred. I started two days ago and, yes, Sarah, I hurt too. Although I think my situation was exacerbated by my 45-minute bout with pedal boating this afternoon. It turns out that a 4-, 6-, and 7-year-old aren't terribly effective at assisting in the pedaling of a pedal boat. My legs don't work very well anymore.

Anyway, the best thing (sarcasm) about doing the 30 Day Shred here in Stimeyland is the peanut gallery that gathers to watch me. Yesterday it took my kids about 10 minutes to find me. Today they were all assembled on the couches to watch before I was done with my warm up.

They had all kinds of questions ("Why aren't you doing Level Two too?") and demands ("Come on, Mom! Do it!"). And Jack stole my water bottle during my first abs section.

I had to explain to said peanut gallery that Level One helps me get stronger and once I'm good at it that I'll move on to Level Two. To which Jack replied, "You are really good at Level One. You did the same thing as the sisters," referring to Jillian Michaels and her irritatingly taut sidekicks. I found this extremely sweet and highly entertaining, due to obvious physical differences in Jillian's henchwomen.

There are a couple of things that I like about the Shred. (1) It's only 20 minutes a day, and (2) I appreciate the fact that Jillian wears sweats instead of spandex.

There are many things that I find horrible about the Shred, but you probably could have guessed that.

It's possible that I won't be HOT by BlogHer, but I intend to be HOTTER by BlogHer. But my exercise program combined with my Weight Watchering is going to make me for damn sure Hot by BlogHer 2010.

Now That I Know You Like Camp Stimey, I'm Going to Talk About Brushing My Dog.

stimeyland@gmail.com (Stimey) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:05:00 +0000

Yay! Guess what? Y'all like Camp Stimey! I'm totally delighted to hear that. That means that I now feel empowered to blog ad nauseum about silly details of our summer.

I'm also pleased that those of you that followed along last year tell me that I came across as a competent and creative mom. I'm happy to hear that competence/creativity is what comes through instead of buffoonery and dingbattiness.

(Although I have a feeling that some of that comes through too.)

Now that you're all excited about Camp Stimey though, I have to tell you that we didn't do camp at all today. When I said yesterday that today was going to be Personal Grooming and House Cleaning day, I wasn't kidding.

I took Sam to get his hair cut (Jack and Quinn politely declined). I cut everyone's finger AND TOE nails. (Thanks for pointing out that my three kids can't have 60 fingernails, Magpie.) I Furminated the dog. I even did Day One of the fucking 30-Day Shred. Which is not technically grooming, but somewhat related.

I got stopped in my little dudes' bedroom on the house cleaning. After three weeks of house guests, that place was a disaster. I made Sam go under the bed to bring out all the crap that gets dropped down there. Evidently he found some ants and I suggested that this might mean that he's been sneaking food into his room and he claimed that they were non-food eating ants and there has never ever been a Gogurt or a [petrified] cheese stick in there. Ever.

And then he did a lot of complaining that I was making him go under the bed with the biting ants ("I think one of them was kind of red, Mom.") and how it was terrible and all. And then I told him that I couldn't care less, but when he was done I gave him a dollar and let him play video games.

So tomorrow is going to be Boat Day, with a side of Cleaning the Rest of the House. Cross your fingers that there is no more fossilized cheese and that we all return safely from whatever boat we end up on.