Stomped Monster

Make a Capri Sun Purse

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:30:00 +0000

Here are step-by-step instructions on how to make a purse using Capri Sun pouches. I first saw this project a few years ago at the Strawberry Festival in Troy, then saw them popping up again at Youngs Dairy in Yellow Springs, and again at Bonnaroo in Tennessee. This was a must-do project, just to see if it worked. Make a Bag out of Capri Sun Pouches.

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The Dougherty Sculpture at Wegerzyn Gardens MetroPark

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 03:42:00 +0000

Last fall, my children and I were fortunate enough to visit the Wegerzyn Gardens MetroPark here in Dayton during an exhibit of the work of Patrick Dougherty.

The work was like Dr. Seuss took a basket weaving class taught by Tim Burton. It took over 1000 hours of local volunteer work to complete. The finished work is a coil of tunnels and half-ceilings, hidden cubbies and doorways.

It was surreal, interactive, and felt like a home. The 'Wiggle in It's Walk' sculpture is a departure from Dougherty's other works that I have admired from afar (i.e. on the interwebs). This one is like a habitat, a friendly neighborhood of interwoven hallways and rooms. His other stick work is usually reminiscent of spider nests, soft-serve ice cream, and cottages.

We felt like little birds or squirrels, realized in human form. Like what Strawberry Shortcake's or the Smurfs neighborhood should be like. We were outdoors, but inside. Curious, peeking here and there and laughing with other people. Strangers who were experiencing the work in much the same way.

The willow branches were formed to create not only doorways, but also windows that looked out onto the surrounding gardens. Each window created a frame for the landscape.

Hey, when you have three kids, you have to do a shot like this once in a while. I enjoyed sharing Dougherty's work with my children, and caught more than a few adults skipping through like they were kids themselves. When you're made to feel smaller than sticks, who can resist? I feel like this was something pure and whimsical, and those moments don't come by very often in life.

This summer, take a day trip to Dayton, bring a picnic lunch, and enjoy this unique work at the gardens. It was built to last at least two years, but life happens, so be sure to put this one on your calendar. I promise you won't be disappointed. More information on the exhibit.

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While Ordering Louis C.K.'s $5 Special

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 22:14:00 +0000

I want all partner offers on the web to be presented in this way:

Which pretty much explains why I spent the $5 on his 1 hour special in the first place.

There's a short freebie clip and download instructions at his site. Five bucks ain't bad, considering how laughter is supposed to keep you alive and all.

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An Encouraging Blog Post

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:39:00 +0000

This is a cursory blog post that is intended to force me into write more blog posts.

Sorry, the title is a bit misleading. It isn't encouraging for you, per se, but it's helping me a bit. The crushing guilt of the previous post dated back in the summer is enough to deter me from writing anything else on this page until extra-terrestiral pterodactyls fly in and bust shit up all over the planet. That would be worth blogging.

So, now maybe this will get me going. If they had pay-per-play time machines, I'd totally give you a quarter so that you could go back in time and reclaim the couple minutes it took you to read this.

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Honey Mayustard

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 11:40:00 +0000

Honey mustarrrrrd! You really have to say it like Animal from the Muppets to get the full effect. Honeeey MUSTAARRRD~! I needed something to dip cocktail shrimp in (stay with me, now) and didn't have cocktail sauce. It was time to make honey mustard because just mayo on shrimp is too far, even for me, a person who counts mayo-on-bread as a formidable sandwich.

I looked up a recipe for honey mustard and get this... Recipe is as follows: 3 TBS mayo, 1 TBS honey, 1 1/2 tsp mustard. Notice anything? Mustard is not the major player, here! Not in the least! Mustard gets second billing while mayonnaise is uncredited completely. I wouldn't care if it was called like, Dillys Crazy Sauce or something that has nothing to do with a naming formula which clearly relies on a listing of ingredients. What about bacon cheeseburgers? What is the main ingredient? It could be raisins! Black is white, up is down, where am I??!

Anyhow. I added more mustard to this honey ~~mustard~~ mayo recipe because it didn't have much flavor. And I was using spicy brown mustard. I know, right? Try 3 tsp mustard for more zing.

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Scrubbits Giveaway! 1 Week Supply

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 16:20:00 +0000

To celebrate my long-awaited (maybe just by me, but it's been a long time, anyhow) return to creating and selling my crocheted and sewn goods, I'd like to offer up a free set of Scrubbits to someone chosen at random. Even though I have hosted and promoted hundreds of giveaways on the About.com site, this will officially be my first ever giveaway.

70% bamboo, 30% silk Scrubbits

What are Scrubbits? It's a goofy name (I have long said that I should not be allowed to name things) I gave to these face scrubbies I made for myself. After a cancery scare last winter, I have been really trying to reduce what gross chemicals I grind into my face skin. Fortunately, you don't have to have a brush with death to avoid these chemicals, too. It's as easy as using a decent product to wash your face with, and avoiding those disposable cotton rounds. These disposables are stark white because they are bleached to death, and some even have weird perfume action. Unnecessary, I say! Can't we just plain wash our damn faces without all that strange chemical action?

Call me old fashioned, even call me a hippy, but I have learned lately that the people of the world are doing a lot of unhealthy stuff that goes against the laws of common sense. Why? Because someone on TV is doing it. That white-toothed smile in the magazine says you need it. The FDA approved it, so have another Big Mac.

Win a week's supply of Scrubbits!

Since working in media, I've learned the golden rule is not to 'treat others how you want to be treated', it most likely goes something like, 'Sell sell, sell'. Most companies honestly don't care what a product does to your body. As long as the FDA will let it slide, then it's all good. There is no Jiminy Cricket in the food and beauty industries, they all sleep very well at night thank-you-very-much. Flash to you in your jammies watching one of those sad, 1-800 number commercials from ambulance-chasing attorneys working on a class-action lawsuit for the same drug that some smiling bitch told you to buy two months ago. Because ladies had hernias and died for a miracle birth control that makes you not have zits. Died for lack of zits. Does it get any weirder or sadder than that?

Oh, anyway, I was talking about scrubbing your face. Sorry to bring things down back there, (puppies unicorn, rainbow). In light of all the horrendous weirdness, I have starting taking little steps to health-up the old homestead. One of those was to crochet my own bamboo/silk and cotton face scrubbies. This is why I love the bamboo/silk ones and make them for sale:

Add a bit of luxury to bedtime.

Why Bamboo? (70%)

-- Bamboo is a naturally organic fiber
-- It is softer than cotton
-- Naturally hypoallergenic, antimicrobial and antibacterial

Why Silk, too? (30%)

-- I use a 70% bamboo/30% silk blend to prevent the bamboo from expanding too much when it is wet.
--Silk is silk! Bathe me in it, it's so... silky smooth!
-- Silk also has natural cellular albumen, which is said to speed up the metabolism οf skin cells. Can't argue with a material that just might help slow the aging process!
Sooooo, for the winner of this contest, I'm sending out my very first giveaway prize, a week's supply of face Scrubbits!

Handmade by Rain

HOW TO ENTER: Some of you skipped my rambling and went ahead to this bit. I don't fault you for it.

To enter, just leave a comment here mentioning your favorite moment on TV's F-Troop, or what you think about this picture of this one time that I died. Others will be disqualified. Leave some kind of contact information. A winner will be chosen at random from the comment pool on JULY 7th.

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Alluvium: We all Live Downstream

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 11:00:00 +0000

In the great history of my freelancing spirit, I have been making and selling crochet goods and clothing for the last ten years. For about the last six, this has been squashed in between my writing career, running a non-profit organization and my career as super mom 'round these parts.

Around 10 years ago, I started selling clothes online under the name Alluvium to compliment my local consignment shop sales. A website looked really good on a tag, people. This was before the age of Etsies and Zibbets, when the only way a girl could sell online was to learn herself some HTML, build a website, find someone awesome (or geocities) to host it, and throw things up on Ebay as required. Us online handicrafters fraternized with the Stitchin Bitches and Kynd Crafters on Yahoo Groups, because this was way before the dawn of time (aka, pre-Facebook/Twitter... even Myspace).

So, I am probably dating myself, but that is how is was 'back in the day'. It was a lot of work, and was something I did while working as a preschool teacher and fumbling my way through college as I raised my very young kids.

Anyhoo, the point of all this claptrap is to announce that I am now taking commissions from the public once again. My kids are older and able to microwave on their own, I am no longer a major player in said cherished non-profit organization, and work on my book is finally winding down. No longer will my crafty labor-fruits be relegated private weddings, pants for guys in bands I know, or to friends asking for costume favors. To kick it all off, I'm selling my bestest organic bamboo face scubbies, 'Scrubbits!' on Etsy. More on those in another post.

Yes, this new endeavor is in addition to my self-appointed positions as a Disney Vacation Planner and freelance writer. In the words of James Franco, "I love jobs!"

(above is the SNL clip that explains the James Franco reference)

So, in the future, I'll be doing giveaways and stuff for Alluvium around on this blog. Because as much as I love jobs, I really DON'T need to start another blog. Wait, do I?

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Valve Software Customer Service Phone Number

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 20:31:00 +0000

This is why Tim should not have a phone.

Today I found out that I had hundreds of dollars in fraudulent charges from Valve Software on my credit card. After calling the number for Valve (425-889-9642...this required some Google digging to obtain from Gethuman.com) and not reaching anyone at billing, I proceeded to call various extensions in an effort to get the mythical human customer service representative, or a nice soul that could connect me to the right person. Gethuman.com reports that Valve has a terrible phone customer service record. Today, the automated system and abundance of straight-to-voicemail menu options set out to prove those testimonials.

After lots and lots of dead-end voice mails, I reached Tim at extension 156. Give Tim a call, he's a real peach. I briefly stated my situation in my most chipper of voices (we'll call it the thank-god-you-are-a-person-voice) and he promptly told me it wasn't any of his business and hung up on me. Did not offer the extension of the right person, a word of advice, nothing. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Someone pooped in this guys Cheerios this morning. Again, I recommend everyone give Tim a ring and tell him your best jokes. He needs it. Don't forget to promptly hang up on him after completion of the joke, for that is Tim's way.

What I picture Melissa to look like.

After leaving messages with about 6 random Valve peeps, someone finally prodded Melissa into giving me a call, a person I had not left a voicemail for. This sweet angel took care of everything I needed after about an hour of complete and total frustration with the company.

Thanks to Melissa for all your help, Valve should give her a raise and a trip to Disney World. Also, Valve, give Tim at x156 a 'Worlds Best Crapeater' mug for me and take away his phone answering privileges. For I will be relating tales of his crapeating skills to anyone who will listen whenever your company comes up in conversation.

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Best Pizza Crust Recipe

noreply@blogger.com (Rain Blanken) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:04:00 +0000

Pizza Pizza! Does anyone else remember that? Nothing like an overweight guy in a sheet to give you a hankerin for greasy cheese and fungus. But hey, you don't need Little Ceasars if you have a SUPER cheap and quick pizza crust recipe. And I guess some sauce and all that other stuff, yeah.

In my recent bread baking adventures, I've learned just how damn easy it is to make something like pizza crust. If you are buying those little packages of crust mix at the store, you are A) totally getting ripped off, B) eating something much less tasty than quick homemade crust.

I got the recipe from Robbie's Recipe Collection, and you'd better bet your sweet bippy (is that a thing?) that I bookmarked the link. My crap memory ensures that Robbie gets a page hit at least a few times a month.

The recipe says a thin pizza crust, but if you let the dough sit for at least 10 minutes, you'll get enough rise for a thick pizza crust. So... crust away!

Pizza photos aren't EVER very appetizing. Sorry about all of this.

Stomped Monster

Make a Capri Sun Purse

The Dougherty Sculpture at Wegerzyn Gardens MetroPark

While Ordering Louis C.K.'s $5 Special

An Encouraging Blog Post

Honey Mayustard

Scrubbits Giveaway! 1 Week Supply

Alluvium: We all Live Downstream

Valve Software Customer Service Phone Number

Best Pizza Crust Recipe

Last Batch of Glen Helen Spring Photos

My Probably Lame Reward

Soapy Sachets

Found in the Kitchen:

Shades of White at Glen Helen

LED Hula Hoop

More Photos from Glen Helen

Gratuitous Emmit Photo: Boog Boog Boogie

Photos from Glen Helen

Pomeranian Shave

Magic Mushrooms

I Made Lip Plumper Gloss

Tween Humor in the Kitchen

Angry Garden 2011: Sprouting Seeds Indoors

Gratuitous Emmit Photo: Waffle House

O-Lang's New Beau???