Stoner Quotes

Happy 420!

2012-04-20T05:04:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to say Happy 420!

Time Travel?... Nah

2012-03-10T20:55:00.000-05:00

Procrastination is like riding a time machine set to pause

Political Truth About Pot

2012-03-08T02:55:00.001-05:00

”We did not view marijuana as a significant health problem–as it was not….Nobody dies from marijuana. marijuana smoking, in fact, if one wants to be honest, is a source of pleasure and amusement to countless millions of people in America, and it continues to be that way.”
-Peter Bourne (Director of the National Drug Control Policy under President Carter)

Mario Should Have Smoked Instead Of Shroomed

2012-02-11T18:28:00.001-05:00

Funny text on a poster that I saw today:

"Don't be racist! Be like Mario:
He's an Italian plumber
created by Japanese People,
who speaks English
and looks like a Mexican.

...jumps like a black man and grabs coins like a Jew"
-Random poster

No Harm Done

2012-02-08T23:31:00.001-05:00

"My final point about alcohol, about drugs, about Pornography... What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm another human being whilst on this planet? And for those of you having a little moral dilemma on how to answer this, I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation outta my fucking life. And stop bringing shotguns to UFO sightings, they might be here to pick me up and take me with 'em."
-Bill Hicks

Yeah, I just went there

2012-01-28T00:53:00.000-05:00

Why is it called getting stoned? Terms like 420, joint, roach, bong, etc. all have origins but the term 'stoned' seems to remain a mystery. Obviously you don't turn into a stone, my fingers still 'fing' ;)

Short Term Memory

2012-01-21T17:24:00.001-05:00

Sorry that I haven't posted a new quote in a few days, I must have had short term memory loss and forgot I had this website :) More stoner quotes coming real soon!

Stoners Are Friendly

2012-01-18T18:05:00.002-05:00

"It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics dope and all of that stuff. It is a thousand times better than whiskey. It is an assistant and a friend."
-Louis Armstrong

Coke Sucks

2012-01-17T11:03:00.001-05:00

"Marijuana is not a drug! I used to suck dick for coke! You ever suck dick for MARIJUANA?"
-Bob Saget (Half Baked)

Words That Lie

2012-01-15T14:35:00.000-05:00

"They call them fingers but I never see them fing."
-Otto

Is it just me, or would The Simpsons be awesome if they made a stoner version with green characters instead of yellow?...

Help Me Out Here

2012-01-14T13:39:00.000-05:00

What is the opposite of being up for doing something? Because it's not being down with doing something..

Classic

2012-01-14T01:54:00.001-05:00

A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
-Anonymous

Stoner Quotes

2012-01-13T00:36:00.003-05:00

"Well I was looking for some famous stoner quotes and I found a page full of different quotes. Here ya go."
-Mark Twain

He must not have seen my website..

South for the Winter?

2012-01-12T21:31:00.001-05:00

Where do carnies go for the winter?

Undecided Giggles

2012-01-12T19:41:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure which word is funnier, gooch or taint...

Don't Be A Hypocrit

2012-01-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

"See I think drugs have done some good things for us. If you don't think drugs have done good things for us then do me a favor. Go home tonight and take all of your records,tapes and all your CD's and burn them. Because, you know all those musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal fucking high on drugs, man."
-Bill Hicks

Words Are Hypocritical

2012-01-11T01:36:00.003-05:00

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Got The Munchies

2012-01-10T20:50:00.001-05:00

Jesus spelled backwards sounds like sausage.

Think Clearly

2012-01-09T22:35:00.002-05:00

"Because the pot takes the edge off the adrenaline, and it also clears your mind of it, and then you can see things a lot clearer."
-Tommy Chong

Should Have Inhaled

2012-01-08T18:40:00.001-05:00

“When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it, and I didn’t inhale, and I never tried again.”
-Bill Clinton

“When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.”
-Barack Obama

A Betting Game

2012-01-07T15:16:00.000-05:00

"Drugs are a bet with your mind."
-Jim Morrison

I'd take that bet except that marijuana isn't a drug..

Not So Fun After All

2012-01-06T23:49:00.001-05:00

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
-Mitch Hedberg

Damn Oranges

2012-01-05T21:40:00.001-05:00

An orange is named after the color that it is AND nothing rhymes with it. Seems kind of selfish if you ask me..

Why Is Pot Still Illegal?

2012-01-05T21:05:00.003-05:00

"To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake."
-Bill Hicks

Yup

2012-01-05T13:48:00.000-05:00

"So what if I'm smokin' weed onstage and doing what I gotta do? It's not me shooting nobody, stabbing nobody, killing nobody. It's a peaceful gesture and they have to respect that and appreciate that."
-Snoop Dogg

The only thing he's killing is his weed, but it was dead well before bringing it on stage..