Stoner Quotes

Impossibly Sad..

2017-01-05T02:44:00.001-05:00

"My grandpa died when he was just a little boy"
-Me for no reason

Just Trying To Say Hi

2016-12-03T20:50:00.001-05:00

"Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back"
-Anonymous stoner

Who's Your Guardian?

2016-10-23T18:40:00.002-04:00

"The gender neutral term for Sugar Daddy is Glucose Guardian."
-Anonymous

He Should Pay Half The Rent

2016-09-06T23:14:00.002-04:00

"What if spiders spend their entire lives thinking that you're it's room mate?"
-Anonymous

One Drink Too Many

2016-05-31T17:24:00.003-04:00

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."
-George Burns

Between a Rock and a hard place

2016-05-07T12:47:00.001-04:00

So, this isn't really a quote, but for some reason I woke up this morning and found The Rock sandwiched between some rocks in my front yard.. Which one of you stoners did this?

Happy 420!

2016-04-20T14:54:00.001-04:00

Just For Kids?

2016-04-12T11:02:00.001-04:00

"Remember when Trix used to be shapes, but now they're balls? What if we just can't see the shapes anymore because Trix are for kids?.."
-Anonymous high Facebooker

That Sucks

2016-03-22T19:51:00.002-04:00

"When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner."
-Anonymous

I Like the Way It Smells

2016-03-16T19:23:00.001-04:00

"It's a great surprise to smell food cooking that you started and forgot about, except if you don't notice in time.."
-Me

You're Burning Dinosaurs

2016-03-09T00:32:00.001-05:00

"I used to think gas was expensive, then I realized that I'm buying liquid exploding dinosaurs!"
-Anonymous

Stoners Are The Best Chefs

2016-03-08T00:25:00.002-05:00

"Pro Tip: Keep a cake fresh and moist by eating it all in one sitting."
-Me

Mind Fuck

2016-02-18T00:17:00.003-05:00

"If Professor X can move things with his mind, why can't he move his legs?"
-Anonymous Stoner

That's Rich

2016-02-11T17:55:00.000-05:00

"If I had a dollar for every girl that finds me unattractive, they'll eventually find me attractive."
-Anonymous

Chuck Norris Can Divide By Zero

2016-01-28T20:29:00.000-05:00

"Black holes are where God divided by zero"
-Steven Wright

Slim Chance

2016-01-28T09:32:00.000-05:00

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but we would never know because he couldn't stand up?
-Anonymous

I'm Part Awesome..

2015-11-08T21:55:00.002-05:00

"Technically everyone is half centaur"
-Me

Why Would Someone Think This? I Want What He's Smoking..

2015-09-26T22:20:00.000-04:00

I didn't think of this, some other, much more higher stoner, did..

"Dude.what if 4/20 was on Friday the 13 O_O"
-Anonymous stoner on Facebook

Tom Brady Courtroom Sketch doing the Tom Brady

2015-08-12T23:58:00.001-04:00

I got high and made a Tom Brady Courtroom Meme

Share this pic, that's all, carry on. :)

#TomBrady #TomBradyMeme #TomBradyCourtroomSketch #rt #retweet #meme #funny

Be Safe

2015-08-06T19:23:00.001-04:00

"Marijuana is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known to man."
– Judge Francis Young (DEA)

The Bear's Got a Point..

2015-08-03T23:00:00.001-04:00

"There are no chicks with dicks Johnny, only guys with tits!"
-Ted

A Quick Break So You Can Buy Something Awesome!

2015-08-03T17:45:00.004-04:00

eGo-T Rechargeable eHookah Starter Kit

So lately there is a huge craze over these eHookah pens. Forget about spending $200+ on some tank and mods that will cost you twice as much and even more hassle for what it's worth..

Honestly a couple years ago I bought this same eGo starter eHookah pen kit for $40 and I still love it! If the bottom half of my phone wasn't broken, I'd post a pic but I swear that it's well worth the money!

But right now it's on sale for only $18.99! Get this shit while it's still available, and it's rechargeable and refillable to mix your favorite eJuice brands and flavors!

Click HERE or on the picture to buy the eGo eHookah Starter Kit for only $18.99 NOW!

OK, now back to your regularly scheduled marijuana giggles. (>^_^)b

My Bread is Baked

2015-08-03T15:44:00.001-04:00

"Dude, toasters are like tanning beds for bread.."
-Anonymous

Better Than Dinner Rolls...

2015-08-03T01:33:00.000-04:00

"Of course I know how to roll a joint."
-Martha Stewart

Are You Sure It Was The Screensaver?..

2015-08-01T20:58:00.001-04:00

"New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my e-mail, and the next thing I know it's three days later, I'm in the desert, I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody's pierced my dick."
- Bill Maher