Stop, Drop, Recover

Monday quotes

2009-11-09T08:51:00.002-05:00

Don't let anyone steal your Dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what.
- Jack Cainfield

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
- Joseph Campbell

Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.
- Jack Canfield

You really have to look inside and find your inner strength, and say, "I'm proud of what I am and who I am, and I'm just going to be myself."
- Mariah Carey

How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

The capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest meaning and significance.
- Pablo Casals

Every winner has scars.
- Herbert N. Casson

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.
- Willa Cather

Star The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.
- Nicolas Chamfort

If you're still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on its grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a new dream to grow today.
- Joyce Chapman

Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who'll never find out.
- Frank A. Clark

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.
- Luciano de Crescenzo

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

serenity

2009-11-06T13:16:00.002-05:00

serenity;

the state or quality of being serene, calm or tranquil.

This was the topic at last nights house meeting.
we are all familiar with the serenity prayer,
yet everyone has their own view of what
the feeling actually consists of.

In essence it is the exact opposite of the chaos,
insecurity and agitation of our former days.

What comes to mind for me is the Eagles song,
"peaceful easy feeling";

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay,
against your skin, it's so brown
and I wanna sleep with you
in the desert tonight
with a billion stars all around
'cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I'm already standing on the
ground
And I found out a long time ago
what a woman can do to your soul
Ah, but she can't take you anyway
You don't already know how to go
and I gotta peaceful, easy feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I'm already standing on the ground
I get this feeling I may know you
as a lover and a friend
but this voice keeps whispering
in my other ear, tells me
I may never see you again
'cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling
and I know you won't let me down
'cause I'm already standing on the ground
'cause I'm already standing...
on the ground

asking for help

2009-11-05T09:51:00.002-05:00

Not always the easiest task for many of us.

I know for this alcoholic coming in holding
on to ego, false pride, arrogance and a
"know it all" attitude, it was nearly impossible.

After all, I was a functioning alcoholic, or so I thought.
I had been holding onto the illusion of control.

As time went on it gradually became easier
to ask for help and guidance.
My way and only gotten me back to old
habits and eventually failure.

Today I seek knowledge from those who are
willing to share their experience.
In recent years I have become a student
of addiction and recovery.

Not only is it about knowledge, but how to
apply what I learn to my daily life.

upcoming holidays

2009-11-03T10:35:00.004-05:00

Soon a common topic in the rooms will
be the upcoming terror trilogy of holidays

Thanksgiving is commonly the easiest
to handle for most alcoholics
Not known for raucous celebration and ceremonial
toasts, the day we give thanks centers mainly around food
Though I do admit I did look forward to a good
wine with dinner , the main focus was usually on the next course.

Next up is Christmas, complete with work parties,
stressful shopping, decorating and for some,
dread of certain family members.
Many of us remember the constant availability of
spiked eggnog, aperitifs, and jazzy coffees,
along with the usual beer, wine and cocktails.

Having never been a fan of New Year's Eve;
which I always considered an amateur night,
it has been the easiest to handle in sobriety.

The best advice is to stay vigilant, talk about it,
and maybe hit a meeting.
accept that others can still drink safely.
It is comforting to know that we can be present
enjoy holiday festivities.

Monday quotes

2009-11-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

Where is home? Home is where the heart can laugh without shyness. Home is where the heart's tears can dry at their own pace.
- Vernon Baker

Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm not afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: hard work - and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
- Lucille Ball

Solitude is fine, but you need someone to tell you that solitude is fine.
- Honore De Balzac

A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
- Basil

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

We all are born mad. Some remain so.
- Samuel Beckett

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
- Hada Bejar

Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want.
- Sue Bender

Each morning the day lies like a fresh shirt on our bed; this incomparably fine, incomparably tightly woven tissue of pure prediction fits us perfectly. The happiness of the next twenty-four hours depends on our ability, on waking, to pick it up.
- Walter Benjamin

You stand outside the circle and wonder why you feel left out, unaware that you need your own permission to join the others - not theirs.
- Rusty Berkus

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco

There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude... a quiet joy.
- Ralph H. Blum

We are co-creators with God, not puppets on a string waiting for something to happen.
- Father Leo Booth

I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep going forward.
- Charlotte Bronte

show up, own up, grow up

2009-10-30T09:00:00.003-04:00

our simple, basic formula for recovery.

becoming and remaining available and
accountable.
accepting responsibilities, performing
service and doing the footwork required
to become a better family member, friend
and employee.

admitting past wrongs and striving to
correct present transgressions.
getting honest with self, acknowledging
personality flaws and trying to improve
them. continuing to be honest with
others, remaining patient and tolerant.

finally the most elusive facet of recovery;
maturity.

it's not always easy to let go of selfish,
immature and ego-driven behaviors.
stunted emotional growth is common
among alcoholics and addicts.

growing up has it's share of pains;
but it is essential to the path of
progressive wellnes.

thanks for asking!

2009-10-29T08:41:00.003-04:00

I have been asked by Lucy,
"what is it about drinking that you most
enjoyed or that you found most tempting? "

growing up shy and insecure, drinking
provided relief from inhibitions and fear
of rejection.

since I had an extended "honeymoon"
period with boozing, it was a reward
and a welcome complement to socializing
with relatives and friends.

in addition, drinking was common after
playing sports. whether it was co-ed
softball, or my extended volleyball
career.

being able to say and do things that i
wouldn't without a buzz, was also
a huge part of the attraction.

looking back i realize that drinking
always preceded any amorous
events in my life, to relieve shyness
and inhibition with the opposite sex.

spiritual awakening

2009-10-28T08:48:00.002-04:00

at last nights meeting I shared that
I feel like rip van winkle concerning
any spiritual awakening.

since getting serious about recovery
in 2001, the thought of a drink has
never left me.

while the urge has lessened, the constant
reminders seen and heard in daily life
continue to tempt me.

initially there was a nagging envy of
folks who could drink safely.
this began to wane and I started to
become more comfortable around
social drinkers.

gradually I would even enjoy observing
the various stages of inebriation.
still, the memories of the many years
of the "good old days" would crop up.

while I came to accept my condition,
continue to pray, ask for help,
attend daily meetings and remain
honest and willing, the thought remains.

today I fully accept the cards dealt to me.
what is paramount is my ability to
think it through, and remember there
is nothing that a drink will remove or
improve.

Monday quotes

2009-10-25T21:24:00.000-04:00

"Happiness is not by chance, but by choice."
Jim Rohn

"Decision and determination are the engineer and fireman of our train to opportunity and success."Burt Lawlor

"Choice, not circumstances, determines your success."
Anonymous

You cannot solve a problem until you acknowledge that you have one and accept responsibility for solving it.
Zig Ziglar

Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.
Brian Tracy

"You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'." Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much."
Helen Keller

"You have to find happiness in yourself before you can find it with someone."
Anonymous

"There is nothing so strong as gentleness, and nothing so gentle as strength."
Leo Muir

"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results."
Jack Dixon

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."
Siddartha Guatama Buddha

women & alcoholism

2009-10-23T09:36:00.002-04:00

from an article in psychology today titled
"women alcoholics; masters of deception"
by Deborah King.

"The inner voice of the alcoholic is a running monologue of excuses, a compendium of denial, a master of deception. I just have to get through this rough patch in my marriage. It's a tough time at work, with all these deadlines approaching. My kids are driving me crazy. Oh, I'll just have a little sip...wouldn't get a fly high."

it is explained in the post how women are

expected to perform a myriad of roles.

due to the various responsibilities many

women have to put on a good front, and

always seem in control.

this leads to hiding and minimizing bouts

of drinking. these behaviors tend to fuel

denial and prevent some women from

seeking help. i have witnessed the struggles

women face from my experience in our

sober house and empathize with the

unique difficulties of seeking an maintaining

sobriety.

step 12

2009-10-21T10:24:00.003-04:00

still hoping and praying for a spiritual
awakening.
the thought of a drink has never left me.

sure it has diminished from the former
compulsion, receded to a moderate desire,
and has settled down to a passing thought.

carrying the message has been done by
sharing my experiences at meetings, 12
step calls and of course by providing
housing and guidance for alkys and
addicts in our sober home.

practicing the principles begins with gaining
patience, tolerance and acceptance.
honesty, humility and helping others
allows me to truly be unselfish.

it's not always the easier, softer way,
but it is a means to a serene life.

Monday quotes

2009-10-19T08:59:00.001-04:00

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens

Politicians, like diapers, have to be changed frequently - and for the very same reason.

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.

Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrows know how to swim

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.

People who say it can't be done, should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

giving back

2009-10-15T14:54:00.002-04:00

recently at a local meeting where
the speaker failed to show, i was
asked to share my story.

it's been suggested that we should
always be willing to be of service,
so i naturally agreed.

it was a fairly large crowd, complete
with a group from the local rehab.

my journey started differently from
most; no alcoholism in the family,
i didn't start at a very young age
and was basically a social imbiber
for many years.

i shared my slow transitions from
social, to moderate, on to heavy,
then eventually compulsive.

friends and family found it hard
to believe i had a problem after
so many years of "normal" drinking.

this slow, insidious progression made
it very difficult for me to admit i had
a problem.

the result was my starting a pattern
of rehab, a few months of sobriety,
and eventual return to drinking.

i hoped sharing my vain attempts at
"recapturing the magic", might sway
some of the newcomers away from
that deluded thinking.

my experience has proven that there
is nothing that a drink or drug will
improve; sure it can be a bumpy
ride, but my advice was to "hold
on to your seat...you earned it"

Monday quotes

2009-10-11T22:05:00.000-04:00

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.

Don't go through life, grow through life
.-Eric Butterworth

There are two lasting bequests we can give our
children : one is roots. The other is wings.
-Hodding Carter, J.R.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

People who are wrapped up in themselves make very small packages

It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice.

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you got. -
Garth Brooks

Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is ready cash. Spend it wisely.

The future comes one day at a time. -
Dean Acheson (1893-1971) --American lawyer

happiness...

2009-10-09T10:19:00.003-04:00

...mentioned in the promises as what
we will attain from sobriety.

certainly the opportunity to be free
from the compulsion and chaos of
active addiction makes it possible
to attain happiness.

ultimately it is a choice.

today i have that choice;
while my personality does
not always allow me to be
happy, i am contented and
satisfied with my life.

do i still miss the buzz at times?
unfortunately yes; but thankfully
not enough to test the waters.

once bitten, twice shy...

dealing with urges

2009-10-07T09:55:00.002-04:00

does anyone else feel tempted by a
drink at times?

though not a compulsion, the thought
of a cold beer or glass of wine still persists
for me.

sure, the bottom line is not acting on
the thought, but I often envy the
folks who share that the desire has
completely left them.

I continue to pray on it and share
my feelings with my sponsor and
at meetings.

acceptance is key for me today;
my outlook and experiences are
somewhat unique and I deal with
that.

there is no mystery concerning the
outcome should I choose to pick up;
and it always ended badly.

thankfully my thoughts don't have
to become my actions.

Monday quotes

2009-10-05T13:31:00.001-04:00

All people smile in the same language.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

The difference between a hypocrite and a wise man is that one states his beliefs while the other lives them.

To ask is a moments shame, not to ask, and remain ignorant, is a lifelong shame.

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.

Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.

A closed mouth gathers no feet."If you can't tie good knots... tie many."

If you think the parade of life is passing you by, perhaps you're not listening to the music.

The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the universe for God to worry about.

Anyone can enjoy good days; those who find ways to enjoy bad days have something going for them!

talking to your kids

2009-09-30T07:41:00.003-04:00

excellent article from About.com/Alcoholism on
how to talk to your kids about alcohol.

Here's How:

Be well informed. Have your facts straight before relaying information to your children.

Make sure the information that you plan to offer is appropriate for your child's age and development.

Start early. Children as young as 11 begin using alcohol.

Set aside a family time when there are no other distractions. Initiate the conversation with your child.

Communicate your "family policy" about taking drugs or drinking alcohol and give the reasons for the policy.

Try to create a "open" atmosphere in which your children feel free to say what is on their minds.

Listen carefully.

Role play how to say "no" when offered drugs or alcohol.

Be honest.

Repeat the conversation as your children grow to emphasize your concern and to listen to their feelings.

Tips:

Student surveys indicate when parents listen to their children's feelings and concerns, their kids are more likely to stay drug-free

If you suspect your child has a problem with drugs and alcohol, seek professional help immediately.

Be a good example.

open and honest communication is key
to establishing trust and confidence with
our children and teens.

instilling family values and reassuring
them that an open dialogue is always
available, are a major steps in dealing
with these sensitive issues.

Monday quotes

2009-09-28T08:21:00.001-04:00

The winds of grace are always blowing, but you have to raise the sail.
- Ramakrishna

Time is not measured by the years we live, but by the deeds we do and the joys we give.
- Helen Steiner Rice

If you want something you've never had, you've got to do something you've never done!
- Tangela

We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
- Stacia Tauscher

Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
- James Thurber

Positive, continuous action toward your goals is the very best antidote to worry.
- Brian Tracy

...the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
- Harry S. Truman

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
- Jim Valvano

The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give it away.
- David Viscott

Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.
- Denis Waitley

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.
- William Arthur Ward

enjoying recovery

2009-09-25T09:07:00.003-04:00

my initial thought when starting
recovery was that i would not be
able to have fun in sobriety.

having had many memorable times
during my social drinking days, i
was convinced i couldn't be finny,
relaxed and sociable when sober.

it's taken some time, but i've
realized i don't need to be buzzed
to enjoy myself and the company
of others.

sure, i still miss some aspects of
the party life, but today i accept
the fact that those days are gone.

now i can be alert, present and
comfortable around people
without any type of crutch.

teens & drinking

2009-09-23T09:27:00.003-04:00

by Aspen Education Group;

A recent online survey by the Partnership for a Drug Free America, in collaboration with Vocalpoint.com, found that the top concern of moms with kids returning to school is that their kids "might be exposed to kids who drink or use drugs." Approximately 29 percent of the 2,500 moms surveyed picked this as their top concern.

the reality is many kids will be exposed to
others who drink or experiment with drugs.

what can parents do to prepare their teens?

be proactive and discuss the probability that
some of their classmates may drink or drug.

reassure them it's okay to resist the lure of
trying to fit in or be "cool".

share your own experiences and urge them
to be open and honest concerning any
curious desires to try drinking.

it is nearly impossible to shield them from
friends who drink, we can only be open
and willing to discuss the dire consequences
that are possible when teens engage in
adult behaviors.

Monday quotes

2009-09-21T10:15:00.001-04:00

We must be greatfull for our mistakes, without them we wouldn't know any better.
- Ayash Sabbagh

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I look at victory as milestones on a very long highway.
- Joan Benoit Samuelson

I glory in this world of men and women, torn with troubles, yet living on to love and laugh through it all.
- Carl Sandburg

The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

In actual life every great enterprise begins with and takes its first forward step in faith.
- Schlegel

Life is too short to waste. Dreams are fulfilled only through action, not through endless planning to take action.
- David J. Schwartz

The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.
- General Schwarzkopf

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Frank Scully

Friday questions

2009-09-18T14:45:00.003-04:00

did you experience a "pink cloud" initially?

was your choice of recovery your own,
or did family encourage you?

have you found it difficult to forgive yourself?

when did you start feeling confident in
your recovery?

how do handle people or situations that
annoy you?

have you ever been on a 12 step call?

do you look for meetings when on vacation?

where is the best place, if any, for meditation?

does being totally honest ever make
you uncomfortable?

have you had more than 1 sponsor?

ever wonder why I ask so many questions?

top 10 reasons...

2009-09-17T10:16:00.002-04:00

...to not drink today;

10) the ability to maintain normal blood
pressure would be gone.

9) one drink leads to complete dependence
in a short time

8) there is nothing a drink will solve or improve

7) common sense and rational thinking
would be lost

6) the loss of respect from the folks in
our sober house

5) guilt, shame, and remorse is the end result

4) knowing it is impossible to recapture
the "good old days"

3) dealing with the fear of not knowing
when the drinking will stop

2) losing the trust of those closest to me

1) recalling the memories of staring over

Monday quotes

2009-09-14T08:15:00.001-04:00

Where I was born and how I have lived is unimportant. It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of interest.
- Georgia O'Keefe

Never raise your hand to your children -- it leaves your mid-section unprotected.
- Robert Orben

To be loved, be lovable.
- Ovid

Time is not measured by the years we live, but by the deeds we do and the joys we give.
- Helen Steiner Rice

And when the future hinges on the next words that are said, Don't let logic interfere, believe your heart instead.
- Philip Robison

Whatever good things we build end up building us.
- Jim Rohn

What you love is a sign from your higher self of what you are to do.
- Sanaya Roman

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Compassion for myself is the most powerful healer of them all.
- Theodore Isaac Rubin

Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
- David Russell

Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.
- Russian Proverb

Some people change their ways when they see the light; others when they feel the heat.
- Caroline Schoeder

Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost.
- Robert H. Schuller