The Laughing Zone Ahead

Difference in between parashoot and condom?

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:58:19 PDT

If parashoot breaks man goes away from world AND if condom breaks man comes to world.

Lady Traffic Police Officer

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:54:36 PDT

A man married a Lady Traffic Police officer. Friend, How was your first night?

Man, She charged Rs.100 from me for overspeeding, rs.200 for wrong side entry, rs.500 for no helmet.

Who is the Best goalkeeper

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:51:41 PDT

Do u know Who is the best goalkeeper in this world ?
ANSWER: WOMEN, no matter how much and which way u fuck her, your balls will never go in.

How can a comdom help?

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:50:18 PDT

A policemen arrested a prostitute Gal: I'm a saleswoman not prostitute.

Police: What r u selling.
Gal:I"m selling condoms & offering a FREE DEMO

How can a prostitute been raped

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:48:16 PDT

A prostitute goes to a Bank to deposit a 1000 rupee note. The teller says,'Sorry Madam, the note is a fake. ''Oh my God! exclaimed the prosstitute, 'I have been raped.

Difference between Man and Rat

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:46:47 PDT

Q1: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q2: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the
baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology.

Perfact Size of penis

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 03:44:11 PDT

Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 6 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Mam, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury

What comes after 69 ?

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 12:47:31 PDT

Teacher asks girl, "What comes after 69?"
Girl replies, "You rinse out your mouth and wash off your face!"

Cycle Vs Car

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 04:17:36 PDT

Santa goes to a bar in London for a couple of drinks. As he is sitting alone and drinking, he notices a sexy woman sitting in a corner, alone and staring at him. At first he tries to ignore her, but the sight of her huge boobs is still rolling in his mind and he looks at her again. Now the woman smiles back at him and Santa gets very excited.

He gulps down a couple of neats and gathering courage goes upto her and says, "Excuse me...I am Santa from India. Can I sit here and buy you a drink?"

The woman agrees and soon both of them are drinking away like good old friends. Then after everything is through Santa and the lady walk out of the bar. But Santa is in a great mood to screw her.

Again gathering courage and slighty drunk, he asks her, "Eschcuse me, can we have sex tonight, please??"

The lady says, "Well I don t mind, but you see I’m on my menstrual cycle"

"No problem" says Santa "you proceed in your menstrual cycle, I will follow you in my Honda Accord !"

Sardar with Call girl wife

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 04:13:26 PDT

Santa goes into a very exclusive hotel for a night with a call girl and asks for a room. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever.

In the morning Santa and the girl came to settle the bill and were surprised to find the amount to be over $3000.

"How's this? We ve only been here one night!" Santa was annoyed.

"So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf courts, tennis course, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up."

"But we didn't use any of these!" explained Santa.

"If you didn't use - that's your problem," came the reply.

"In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill," said Santa.

"What do you mean?" the manager was taken off guard, "I didn't sleep with your wife!"

"If you didn't use - that's your problem!"

The Glue magic

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 10:36:29 PST

The Fun Tub

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:07:22 PST

Cutest Baby

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:47:27 PST

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:50:26 PST

1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."

2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."

3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"

4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"

5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"

7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

The fate of Penis

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:44:22 PST

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

Achivement in 25th Aniversary

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:39:44 PST

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Love Dress

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:23:16 PST

A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother goes to visit. When she knocks on the door, she is shocked to see her daughter open it naked. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Mom, it's my LOVE dress!! Don't you like it?" I'll come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over" replies the mom.

When she goes back, she is shocked when once again her daughter is naked. "Now what are you doing?" "Mom, it's my LOVE dress. It keeps the marriage spicy!"

Later that night the mom decides to try it for herself. When her husband comes home, he gives the same reaction: "Honey, what are you doing?" she give him the same answer her daughter gave her, "It's my LOVE dress! What do you think of it?" Her husband thinks long and hard and says, "I think you should have ironed it!"

Remembering Ex-Girlfriend?

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:48:23 PST

A guy runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar.

"I had sex with another woman last night," he tells her. "But I was thinking of you the whole time."

"You miss me that much?" she asks.

"No," he says. "But it kept me from cumming too fast."

Grils on Plane before Crash

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:29:51 PST

There were 3 girls on a plane that's about to crash.

The American girl puts on her makeup, "Rescuers will save a beautiful girl first" she said.

French girl opens her bra,"Rescuers will save a girl with beautiful tits."

The African removes her knickers and says "Fuck off, they all ways look for the black box first."

Breast Types

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:24:03 PST

There are many types of breasts out there, but until now, many people experienced problems communicating what particular breasts were like until now...

. . Itty bitty titties

()() Little breasts

(.)(.) Nice breasts

(o)(o) Perfect breasts

(D)(D) Bullets

(O)(O) Handful breasts

(~0~)(~0~) Stretch mark breasts

\o/.\o/ Grandma's breasts

[o][o] Breasts during a mammogram

* ^ * Flat chest

(+0(+0) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) High nipple breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

oo A cups

{O}{O} D cups

(^)(^) Cold breasts

(<)(<) Perky breasts

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(O) Pierced breasts

(p)(p) Hanging tassels breasts

(-)(-) Flat against the shower door breasts

lollol Android breasts

($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts

(ooo) Total Recall breasts (she had three!)

(O)A(O) Tit fucked breasts

Husband Vs Wife

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:14:43 PST

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

In Between Legs

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:31:41 PST

A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties.

He looks between her legs, and he says, "What's that?"

She says, "It's me lower mouth."

He says, "What do you mean, 'your lower mouth?'"

She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth. It's got a mustache... It's got lips..."

He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"

She says, "Not yet. . ."

Determine Condom Size

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:27:13 PST

A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, "What size?"

He says, "I don't know."

She holds up a finger and says, "That big?"

He says, "Bigger."

She holds up three fingers and says, "That big?"

He says, "Smaller?"

She holds up two fingers and he says, "That's it."

She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, "Medium."

Request A Song

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:21:06 PST

There was a woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses." She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, "Do you have "Two Lips and Seven Kisses?"

The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, "No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!"

So the woman asked, "Is this a record?"

To which the man replied, "No, its average!"

Who is doing Confession

noreply@blogger.com (Dil Se...) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:38:57 PST

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."