I’m not discussing the scale today, since I went off the rails yesterday.

1:00 PM — I had a nice nutritious lunch. Chicken kabobs from Zoe’s.

9:00 PM — I went to a Halloween party, which means I had junk food. But I had a lot of fun.

I’m not giving myself an indulgence this weekend, since I’ve been see-sawing with food this week.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

I started the day early enough that I had fruit and cottage cheese for breakfast, with some herbal tea. A good start to the day.

Mid-morning snack was a banana and some sharp cheddar cheese. Looked at calorie count, and thanks to the walk I have lots of wiggle room today.

1:00 PM — lunch was eaten at my desk, again. A frozen lasagna meal from Weight Watchers and half an apple. Not a lot of fun, but satisfying and filling.

9:00 PM — dinner was a ham and cheese sandwich paired with a spinach salad. I should have passed on the sandwich, I know, but it was yummy.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

I took my pills, mostly to use them up, and waited the appropriate time before I had a banana and tea for breakfast. I had half an apple and a cube of cheese as a snack mid-morning.

3:00 PM — lunch was eaten at my desk, Weight Watchers chicken enchiladas frozen dinner. Eating lunch at my desk is not fun.

Mid-afternoon I had a snack of half an apple and a handful of almonds. I was really hungry for some reason.

8:00 PM — I made a sausage/vegetable stir fry with a toasted English muffin. My new favorite thing is diet root beer, and I indulged in two. After dinner I had another handful of almonds.

I know I went over my calorie count today, but I stayed on course otherwise. Will see tomorrow what the scale reads.

Intend on going walking in the morning. Let’s see if it happens.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

I’ve turned the tide on this, I think. But I’ve had to make some modifications to my plan. And it’s going to be harder than I thought. The good thing is that I’ve given myself plenty of time to get this done.

I’m still taking my pills every morning. It’s been almost a month and I wasn’t seeing any effect from that. I was on the Healthe Trim pills for almost three weeks by themselves and my weight was still see-sawing up and down, with no real results. The only good thing to come out of it was that it forced me to give up caffeine. But I’m working my way through the bottle and following the instructions anyway.

New things include that I’ve increased my fiber intake. Last weekend I attended a health seminar which included a workshop by two nutritionists. It was a really good presentation that discussed healthy duets, why carbs are important, what the impact of muscle vs fat is, and why fiber is important. So I bought a box of those Benefiber packets and gave been adding them to my drinks throughout the day. That’s cheating, I know, but it’s a good way to increase my daily fiber.

I started taking health supplements again. These include a variety for my joints, mood, and metabolism. Pretty sure these aren’t the magic bullet, but they can’t hurt.

I’ve been making better decisions about what I eat and when. This is the important part, the part with the most impact. I’m not consuming 1000-calorie meals and eating late. I’m not going crazy on the carbs. I’m not missing meals. I’m being moderate in my approach.

The combined result us that this week my weight either held or went down and I lost 4 pounds. In the last year, that’s been my best week. Not the week where I’ve lost the most weight, but the one where I had the entire week in the success column. Feels good.

11:00 AM — breakfast with my family included my first real indulgence of the week: a full breakfast with eggs, bacon, potatoes, and a croissant. Delicious. I realize that I will have to be extra vigilant for the rest of the day (the rest of the weekend), but it was worth it.

4:00 PM — I had a half bowl of rice with Turkey meat. Mostly to tude me over until real dinner. Going out with my sister and brother-in-law to dinner and a movie.

9:00 PM — I ended the day with a handful of movie-theater popcorn, a pickle, some Sour Patch Kids, and a very big caffeine free Diet Coke. Not nutritious, I know.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

1:00 PM — I had chicken crepes for lunch today, at the Junior League. It was one if those recurring, monthly appointments that I try to keep every month and cancel more often than I should. I’ve always found lunching at the Junior League to be one of those experiences you can’t describe adequately. You just have to go at least once.

8:00 PM — I had an after work seminar that derailed any progress I’ve made this week. Two brownies, two sandwiches, and iced tea (yes, with caffeine). I will pay for this, I know.

I’m beginning to think I need real help with my goals. I won’t start to freak out until I am 12 months from deadline, but that’s not that far away. And, in the meanwhile, I sm disappointing myself every say.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

2 PM — after the stress of the day, lunch was a parrillada at Taquería Arandas. I ate the rice and beans, plus two corn tortilla tacos with mixed meat. Very tasty, but I ended up with a lot of leftovers. It was a heavy lunch, but not what I really wanted: a couple of shrimp quesadillas and a large order of fries. But this seemed better overall.

8:00 PM — I had the rest of yesterday’s salad for dinner and resisted the impulse to reheat the fajitas and eat them as well. But my brain keeps telling me that I’m still hungry. I want to eat more. I want rolls and fries and things covered in cheese. But I won’t have them. I am determined not to have them.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

1:39 PM — stopped by Subway to pick up a sandwich on my way back into the office. A sweet onion chicken terayaki sub on Italian bread, without cheese or mayo. No chips, no soda.

8:00 PM — I picked up a salad from the local Souper Salad on my way home. As you can tell, I still haven’t been to the groceries to buy real food, and I really don’t keep a lot of food in the house these days. A salad to go from the salad bar usually lasts me two days. So I’ll probably be having a salad tomorrow too.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

3:39 PM — I didn’t actually have lunch. But I had to go to an event at work, which means I had a plate of finger foods and a small slice of cake. It was all washed down with a glass of lemonade.

9:00 PM — dinner was a Greek salad with the dressing on the side, from Cafe Express. Had a wonderfully long conversation with my friends. I think we were there for three hours or so, just talking and talking and talking. It was great.

Notihing else to report today.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

I did weigh in, but am too depressed over the resuts to discuss even here. And, yes, I did take my pills this morning. It’s three days in and I’m wondering why I bother.

3:00 PM — I just realized that I missed lunch. That was not on purpose. Oddly, I’m not hungry.

8:30 PM — dinner was hot wings with all the accessories. And this is the point at which you ask me: “do you really think that’s a diet?” with an incredulous tone of voice. And I would have to answer “no, I don’t.”

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

{{Written on my iPhone}}

Since I have to wait 2-3 hours before eating, for me that means that I’m not having breakfast. I miss breakfast, especially my morning coffee. I really really miss my coffee and black tea.

1:30 PM — had a craving for Pei Wei, then didn’t order my favorite dish. I did not like the dish I did order. The moral? If you’re going to splurge on calories get what you really want.

8:30 PM — and I finished the day off with IHOP. Not a good day. Why am I taking these pills, anyway?

{{Written on my iPhone.}}

However, I took my pills today. I should also mention that I did manage to avoid caffeine yesterday, which I’m pretty sure gave me a daylong headache which knocked me out at the end of the day.

1:00 PM — I want coffee more than anything. I’m at a luncheon and they’re serving coffee. I want some. I didn’t realize that living caffeine free would be so hard. I’d even take the iced tea at this point. Coffee, coffee, coffee!

3:45 PM — Bought caffeine free Diet Coke, which will be the first drink other than water I’ve had today. Happy happy joy joy!

8:30 PM — Dinner was raspberry martinis and cheeseburger sliders at Belvedere’s, a new hotspot. It was a mixer benefitting to local Women’s center. I had three sliders. {{sigh}}} I do these things to myself.

I drank lots and lots of water all day. I didn’t actually snack. I monitored my calorie intake, though I won’t go into how over I ended up because of my behavior at the mixer. Altogether it was a day if mixed results.

{{Written on my iPhone.}}

Yes, I have 100 pounds I can stand to lose. I am the fat girl. I have regained. 36 pounds of the 50 I lost two years ago. That time I did it with counseling. That’s not going to work this time.

Below is a photo of a diet aid I bought online. Will it work? Who knows… But it’s something new, something different. And I need the help.

I am using this blog as my support mechanism, the place where I will be honest about what I am and am not doing to better myself.

Why is that?

I really want to be above it, to be able to say I am independent and self sufficient and beyond all that. But it would be a lurid massive proportions.

My family can push my buttons and derail all my plans. And I need to figure out how to work around that.

Suggestions?

Written on my iPhone.

It was stupid, really, because it had been such a fgod day. But she keeps insisting on having her way, regardless of how it impacts everyone else. And, in a moment of sheer frusration, I told her that.

“You make things harder for me,” I said to her. And I really wish I hadn’t.

We didn’t fight, not in the traditional sense, but I hurt her feelings. I know I hurt her feelings. And I wish I hadn’t.

I should’ve kept my mouth shut. The momentary relief from pressure that came from saying something was not worth the guilt.

I wish I could take it back.

{{Written on my iPhone.}}

What is it that’s stopping me now?

It’s behavior, habits, decisions I make every day that affect what I do and how I live. I eat without consideration. Without thought, and I pay for it later.

I need to stop. Or rather, I need to start.

Whatever. Just a ransoms thought at the end of a very bad week.

{{Written on my iPhone.}}

I miss blogging. Have been spending too much time on social networks and not enouh writing real content. And here I am.

This seems very easy so far. Wish me luck.

• use a marker to banish scuff marks from shoes
• use staples to repair broken hook-and-eyelet fasteners

It’s a useful list.

The Couch Potato Portfolio from Scott Burns

* 50% — Vanguard 500 Index (VFINX)
* 50% — Vanguard Total Bond Market Index (VBMFX)

This two-fund portfolio from financial columnist Scott Burns may be the simplest way to achieve balance. It’s an even split between stocks and bonds, and should appeal to those investors who are both lazy and risk-averse.

Information on the Swine Flu

The City of Houston’s Health and Human Services Department continues to monitor very closely developments surrounding an outbreak of Swine Flu in Mexico and cases reported elsewhere in the United States. We are working with federal and state health officials to ensure prompt detection and appropriate responses. There are no known cases in Southeast Texas at this time. Meanwhile, the best sources of information and advice on the Swine Flu and this occurrence include the following:

 

1. The City of Houston website, which will provide information specific to Houston and the area as warranted:  http://www.houstontx.gov/health/swineflu.html

2. The state Health Department’s website providing information about Texas‘ situation and response:  http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/swineflu/default.shtm

3. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website:

   http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/ 

4. The World Health Organization website: http://www.who.int/csr/disease/swineflu/en/index.html

 

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