stories from hell

Santa Didn't Come...

2011-12-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

The owner of this blog has lost the will to write anything. in a design school and still doesn't do drugs. has a girlfriend who can draw the world and the owner can not even draw a straight line. creativity in his brain has been missing since last year and is pretty sure that the future will be spent on the streets. Keeps listening to his old music collection, to make it sound good he puts the playlist on shuffle and keeps hitting the next button until he falls asleep. Thinks happiness can be found in Funny images with random quotes and so keeps browsing the internet day and night for them.

WHAT A LOOSER...

From The Decks Of The World....

2011-05-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

No this is not a story. This is the part where i will write stuff gong around with typos and miss spelled shit and words with missing 'k' and 'L' because my keyboard is not working properly and where you just read and move on. Maybe its just an angry letter in the form of a blog post.

So, yesterday i got my XII board result. got 83.6%. yeah butt fuck all those who thought i was a dimwit or whatever. since january i have been busy with exams and i finaly got my result and just when i was thinking of taking it easy, my stupid collage entrance exams start.

But thats not the point. My life is going in a fucked up direction. believe it or not, i'v been listening to dub-step and trance music (and i seriously DON'T do drugs) instead of metal. I have changed, in a bad way. At this moment, THE REAL ME would have been, downloading hentai and free and pirated music and movies from the internet, getting drunk with buddies, sneaking out of the house, destroying public property, Graffiti tags, getting into fights, sketching super awesome stuff and writing stories.

but instead im sitting at home, doing nothing, i go to PVR to watch movies, i sleep at night, wakke up at 6 in the morning, Say no to alcohol and do nothing. i think im either becoming a looser or maybe im growing up, which ever the case, i hate both..

oh and im getting engaged to my girlfriend (yeah i have one) and ur all invited to my engagement party. She got me thinking about marriage and kids and all that garbabubblesnoxzzi. love, its just ike running water. you either run with it or drown.

anywho (herd someone say this, sounds cooler XD ).. ill be going into collage soon. i wouldn't say stay tuned cus this is gonna be a dead blog soon or maybe not. shit, iv even stopped clicking pics of dead cats and dogs and other shit. oh well, life is a roller coaster. at one moment ur having a joy ride and the other ur throwing up and sometimes ur running ahead and the coaster is chasing to butt fuck you. mine is the third case.

From The Decks Of The World, Still Looking For One Piece...
Butt Fucking Love...
Aj Mercy :)

Going back... Off to a good start

2010-12-03T02:56:00.000-08:00

Gunner looked at his target through the view scope of his new super silent sniper rifle. He bought it for himself as a coming back gift. He saw three people standing and smoking cigarettes as the talked to each other. He was desperate to pull the trigger and his index finger was struggling to press the well polished black metal trigger.

He refrained and took out his mobile and read the text message again. The last line of the message screamed in capitals "ONLY SHOOT THE MAN WITH THE HAT ON."

Gunner deleted the message and pulled the trigger.

Thrice.

He then took out a small notebook and a pen.

"So i killed one on the tracks, and then a kid and his nanny and his parents and dog to get on this roof and these three morons.
So that equals too..."

Gunner drew four lines and drew another line which intersected the other four diagonally.

"Five and..."

He again drew four lines

"Four more. And I'm not hearing any more voices soo..."

He again drew the diagonal line.

"Ha Ha. Ten down and a million more to go...
Not a bad start after all..."

Going back

2010-12-02T02:18:00.000-08:00

Gunner stood silently with his gun and stared at the dead body lying on the endless railway track. His hands were shaking. The gun smoke coming out of his gun rose up to his nose and played with his nose hair giving birth to a sneeze.

“What the fuck have you done?” came a familiar sound.

“Shut the fuck up” Gunner said as he dropped the gun and took two steps back, thinking deeply about the dreadful thing he had done.

“You promised you’d stop. Are you out of your mind?”

“Am I out of my mind? Of course I AM, for fucks sake I’m talking to myself.” Said Gunner as he picked up his gun

“What are you going do now?”

The thought placed a nasty grin on Gunner’s face. He turned back and started walking.

“Me? I’m going walk the same track I abandoned”

Back to the job...

2010-10-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

When I regained consciousness I was sitting on a dusty old couch next to a mountain of empty pizza boxes which was pilled to the mountain of empty cans mostly of coke, coffee, beer, water and tuna. My feet were resting on an unstable stack of Mc Donald toys. I was holding the remote to my 15 inch box TV which was showing nothing but static bullshit.

I looked at my tee-shirt. It stretched half way along my tummy and had red blots all over it. (No it wasn’t blood. Maybe ketchup stains.) Last time I saw myself I was about 85 kilograms. Now I felt 200 kilograms.
I was shit scared and I needed a tub of chocolate ice cream and a can of Pepsi…
Fuck that. I tried to get up but I couldn’t, then I remembered this trick I learned from my friends (this is an old yet effective trick passed from generation to generation). I grabbed my lighter (Don’t ask me where it came from) and got ready to fart.

3… 2… 1… Lift off…

Brain people captain to Base couch, Fatty is up and on the go. (Believe it or not, there are little people living inside your head controlling you.)

A huge explosion made me jump from the couch leaving a trail of smoke behind.
I wobbled my way to the kitchen. It was the only place left clean in my whole closet apartment. I had eaten everything. From the food in the fridge to the cookies in the emergency cookie jar, (I kept an emergency cookie jar for emergencies like these. Guess it didn’t help much) to the wood of the door and the little rat in the rat hole.

My phone started ringing. (It always rings in times like these.)

Me: “Yo!”

Voice: “Agent Omgimfreakingfat?”

Me: “yes who the fuck are you?”

Voice: “I’m your mission giving guy whom you have never seen.”

Me:” oh. Hey mission giving guy whom I have never seen.”

Mission giving guy whom I have never seen: “I have a job for you.”

Me: “Not now. I’m freaking fat”

Mission giving guy whom I have never seen: “I know. That’s your code name”

Me: “No. I’m really freaking fat and chubby”

Mission giving guy whom I have never seen: “Really? How much fat are we talking about?”
Me: “Fat enough that I can’t even see my erected penis while I look down.”

Mission giving guy whom I have never seen: “you’re not fat, you need a bigger penis.”

Me: “fuck you man. What do you think? I’m Japanese?”

Mission giving guy whom I have never seen: “oh.”

Me: “Listen mission giving guy whom I have never seen, give me 2 months. I’ll be back by then.”

I threw away the phone and got on the treadmill.

After two months of continuous running on the treadmill and sweating out floods of sweaty and salty sweat, I came back to shape.

Then what?

I packed in my handguns, shotguns, bazookas, Nukes, nuke detonator, swords, nanchaks, ninja stars, lucky underwear, throwing knives, knuckles, blood hounds, and some extra muscle. All in my handy Swiss pack it all army knife.

And then I sat on my couch, turned on the TV and waited for the ‘mission giving guy whom I have never seen’ to call and while I was at it I ordered some pizza and some coke and maybe a burger and a candy bar, all low fat. : P

---
Life has been lazy since the past Two months and it’s still lazy. Fuck that.
Since everyone is on face fucking book, we are adding a bridge to our facebook thingi.
Oh and I felt the need to have a last name so I changed my name from Aj to Aj Mercy.
Love…
Aj Mercy :3

Stupid Expressions - Pete Ziccardo

2010-08-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings humans… my name is Pete Ziccardo. I am a new member of Aj's diabolical Diabo-Liks and while you are reading this shit, ill be down at your house slaughtering your family and eating them like a Hannibal lecter and if I over eat, ill stand in front of your house and just fart and put a burning matchstick in front of my ass and watch your house burn down. I’m a rich brat and can afford a million layers so you fucking cant sue me. I’ll be posting stuff over here for apparently no reason at all and I hope you will read my stuff for no reason at all.

Oh and if you don't know about the Diabo-Liks then click THIS stupid link.

Stupid Expressions

I love money. It’s the best thing in the whole wide world and also free expensive stuff. I’m rich and I like to st that way. And when I feel or see my money disappear, I get serious. Serious to get my money back. It’s never about how muck I get back (it is), its about the WAY I get it back, and the easiest way is to rob a bank.

I don’t like to sneak in at night, I seek attention so I gathered up the Diabo-Liks and robbed the bank in the day time.

So, we grabbed our guns and packed our gears and took the bus straight to the bank. (low budget… fuckers.)

After 15 minutes of bus ride, we reached the bank, locked and loaded, busted the door down, “Every one on the ground”, gun shots fired, vault busted open, and Aj went to the loo. (And the fire alarm went off.)

I was in charge of keeping the hostages on the floor. I was minding my own business and abusing the hostages in Japanese when this little girl dressed in a pink dress, wearing a straw hat with a little teddy bear in her hands, came up to me and started crying.

“I can’t find my mommy”, she said.

I looked at Aj and he had a dumb expression on his face which also said, “Point the fucking gun to her goddamn temples and pull the fucking trigger.”

I was about to do that but the Vanessa (Aj’s girlfriend) smacked Aj hard on the head and gave me a different but really really really stupid expression, which also said, “dry up her fucking tears and find her mommy”

I had my doubts do I looked at Luciana, who also had the same expression.

(girls- the dumbest and the hottest creatures on the planet earth.)

So I got on my knees and asked her, “How does your mom look like? (is she hot?)”

“you are such a douchebag.” She said and then took out a desert eagle out from her teddy’s ass. I was stuck like a deer caught in the headlights. She shot me.

TWICE.

The momentum of the bullets took me flying out the window of the bank. (Physics. What a bitch.) As I went out in slow motion I gave a last look at the team for the last time. They all head stupid expressions.

Aj- Fuck fuck fuckity fuck

Vanessa- Omg. Ha ha ha. What. La la la. I want an ice cream

Luciana- I’ll keep his share of the money.

Daddy Dexter- And pop goes the weasel.

Erebus- I love rainbows.

I didn’t die because I was wearing my lucky bullet repelling rabbit foot. I landed on the pavement and acted dead and the team finally took out there guns and took down little miss wonder justice whore.

Then what!

I got up dusted the glass off of me and we all went to the hide out and divided the loot and just because I took a bullet, the team gave me Mentos and diet coke with the following expressions.

Aj- I have gas.

Vanessa- Omg. Ha ha ha. ROTFLMFAO. I want another ice cream

Luciana- Do I get a bonus?

Daddy Dexter- I can’t wait to see the weasel go pop.

Erebus- I love rainbows. Oh and I love unicorns.

---

My first post.

Moral- nothing.

Go fuck yourself.

Pete Ziccardo...

Diabo-Liks...

Human Pudding.

2010-07-01T03:54:00.000-07:00

Greening humanz....
Aj forgot to tell you guys something about me...I am the chef out here...and hey...if you trouble me I'm going to kill you, cook you and eat you!
Ps-I want my sniper rifle Aj..!

Anyway...so the foooodz kinda ready...i am working on the dead guy though...!!
You all better like it...or...you know what's going to happen...don't you?

well..that's it for now...i don't think you have a very big appetite..and even if you do...i don't care...you're all going to be my slaves soon!

now, go to hell.
Vanessa Laura Greene
Daibo-Liks

Big Al

2010-06-22T21:10:00.000-07:00

It was just another random day and the air had traces of lameness in it. I was holding another stolen police gun in my hand without a license, shooting at random people from across the street and eating a subway sandwich while I was at it. (What can I do? I have a thing for subway stuff although I don’t like it.) People were running away and my bullets started missing the targets so I moved forward to fulfill the destiny of my stolen bullets.

Now your parents taught you to look both ways before crossing the street. Mine taught me to shoot at approaching vehicles and make then stop. Since my gun already had a target and the other hand was too busy to lift the sandwich up to my mouth, I forgot about the metal boxes on wheels people call cars.

There was a big pick up truck with a smooth black paint job with a hint of red with black tinted windshield. From the looks I would say it belonged to some one with a name like BIG AL or 50 Cent. I changed the direction of the gun towards the metal shit can with the smooth paint job.

Click* Click*.

The clip was empty. I threw away the gun and held out my middle finger. It did damage in high school, maybe it would do some damage over here. (For those who think I could have moved out of the way, fuck you. There was a chewing gum on the road and I stepped on it and got stuck. I hate gum.)

I like to think that I have superpowers. You know. Powers like Jean Grey x-men. Powers to move/stop things without even touching them. At that moment I Sooooooo wished that my middle finger was Jean Grey.

The wheels stopped spinning but the momentum (Science, What a bitch.) kept moving it towards me. There was a screeching sound and smoke from the wheels and continuous sound of the custom horn. I stood there with half closed eyes with the middle finger steady.

And then…

CRRRRRRAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHH......

It worked…
= = = = = == == == ==
More random bullshit coming your way…
Those who don’t know about the mighty Diabo-Liks, click here…
And I have a girlfriend… hotter than hell… \m/
Its like ill be killing you with my hand-guns and knives and she will be sitting with a sniper rifle…
Stay fucked people…

Aj…
Daibo-Lisk…

Gangstaz....

2010-06-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

It was another regular night and I was riding dirty with my bad ass friends in a freaking Cadillac (yeah we gangstaz now). Jet black tinted windows rolled down and smoke rolled out like some FBI/SWAT team threw in tear gas cans. The only difference was that this shit gets you high. We popped our heads out and stuck out tongues out like dogs do (yeah we gangster dogs bitch). Our nasty hip-hop music overflowed out of the million watt speakers and flooded the streets. Every one started staring at us. The hot chicks, the old people with their hands covering their ears, the cops at the doughnut shop, the pimps and their bitches, and other punk ass rookie gangstaz who don’t even know the definition of riding low and dirt ( yeah the hood is a filthy bitch). We were really turning some heads and we looked back at hem with our blood shot eyes.

We opened the door and stepped out, tossing the half lit buds on the sides. We had so many chains and bling on us that the whole street was lit up like it was the fucking 4th of July or Diwali or Chinese New Year (which ever you enjoy the most).

I walked to the other end of the road escorted by my three gangster homies while one sat in the car like we were going to rob a bank… no no… I mean the local liquor store (gangstaz don’t rob banks… we rob the liquor store, bitch).

We looked so gangster in our baggy jeans and XXXXXXL tee-shirts with Jordan boots and hand guns and Uzi and a piece of paper (not the one you roll the magical shit in. It was a regular paper torn out of a notebook with text on it). We looked so fucking dangerous that the cops grabbed their radio walkie-talkie things just in case they needed to call for back up and ducked behind the tables of the doughnut shop and reached for their guns. The pimps and bitches ran away and the old people covering their ears were too old to run or even walk so they sat still and pooped in their pants and some died.

We walked into a 24/7 store. There was a geek kid standing there with a name tag which said “crock” (this geek had a nice name).
He was shaking and was about to crap his pants. ( I told you we waz gangster ( no there is no mistake in the previous line. We gangstaz talk like that).

I walked up to him and smiled, revealing my golden, diamond studded teeth. He didn’t smile and started sweating like he was pissing out of his skin. I kept the piece of paper in front of him and he raised his arms and said, “please don’t shoot me.”

I gave him a nasty frown and started reading the stuff written on the paper
“Six eggs,
Ham,
Blueberry jam,
Ketchup,
Toilet paper.”

====
No matter how much gangsta you get. Your mom will be more gangsta than could ever be. And will send you to the 24/7 store to get the house stuff...
What a bummer...

First post from the Diabo-Liks...
Just in case you are wondering...
We are not bad… we are evil...

and new image for me...

AJ…
Diabo-Liks

Backup... The Daibo-Liks

2010-05-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, this world is mine to take over. I just need to grab it and dust you people off it. However, doing that won’t be fun. Sooooooo…
I made myself a crew.
(When you read this, imagine a nasty grin on my face and lightning and thunder in the background. You would be scared as hell and you would want to end your life before you proceed on to the next part… OH and you poop in your pants…)

Now if you die by my… I mean our hands; it will be five times more painful…
So let me introduce The Diabo-Liks (yeah dummies that’s the name of my crew)
---
Luciana jade
Mitzvah everyone!
You can call me Luciana Jade, though I do have a million and one names…You don’t need those, Here, I’m Luciana.

Word of warning: ANYONE who calls me Lucy will get hunted down by my hell hounds, and I will rip your guts out, tear your pancreas out and make you drink your pancreatic juices and a straight punch across your face just as a cherry toping thing.

Now that we have that issue cleared let me tell you how happy am I to see that Stories from Hell is getting bigger and Hell, Its going to get better. You’re going to get a hell lot of more variety in your stories for the whole family… we got drama, and scary shit and funny and offensive stuff and for the kids… well lets say you’re going to learn a lot of new shit over here, like how to respect parents and help the elderly people cross over…

---

Vanessa Greene

Greening humans...
I’m Vanessa Greene. Not green u know because I’m not green. But Greene... I’m randomly random i'm crazy no wait.. I'm a psycho or maybe...what the hell, i'm both... Ok wait. You already knew that? Maybe you didn’t.

Anyways…

I’m going to puke out pictures I click and random internet shit over here and really random pieces of my mind...
I’ll be looking forward to getting a battalion of my own human slaves as promised by Aj
And…
It’s cool to be here…

---

Erebus

There was a time when I was a normal, puny, twig like mortal. A good guy. Like the ones you see on the streets, not killing other people, thanking god for food and water and enjoying their time as slaves. On my 14th birthday though, something really bad happened. Someone killed my kitty. And I became what I am now. *weeps*
Now I am hedonistic, sinister, hypocrite, obscenely arrogant, and psychotic
‘Black-hearted’
Or you can say…
‘Simply Evil’

---

Daddy Dexter

I'm neither Dexter's dad nor Dexter being a dad. I'm just Daddy Dexter. Go ask the new generation of chicken that cross highways for apparently no reason why…
So, I’m supposed to rant about how we're going to take over the world, but I won’t be there when these guys will be tearing you and your families apart. At least I’m not going to get my hands dirty. I despise all body fluids.

Don't be disappointed. I'll just take the sniper position and pop your brains out from a distance so that I don’t have blood stains all over my clothes. So get ready
to go porous all over.

---

Pete Ziccardo

Hi humans… my name is Pete Ziccardo and while you are reading this shit, ill be down at your house slaughtering your family and eating them like a Hannibal lecter and if I over eat, ill stand in front of your house and just fart and put a burning matchstick in front of my ass and watch your house burn down. I’m a rich brat and can afford a million layers so you fucking cant sue me. I’ll be posting stuff over here for apparently no reason at all and I hope you will read my stuff for no reason at all.

---
And finally…

Aj

You know who I am. I don’t need an introduction but what the fuck.
Hi my name is Aj. I like to pop brains, operate cranes and say random stuff. I’m too lazy to think so I let my fists think for me.
And
You don’t mess with The Aj… The Aj messes with you
Or
You don’t fuck with The Aj cuz The Aj will fucking kill you
Get it?

---

So that includes all of us…

Now if you see paradox zombies standing at your door steps selling chocolate chip cookies, you know where they came from…

The Diabo-Liks chocolate chip cookie factory…

And

If your son comes back from school with a hole in his head and a brain missing, you know who blew it out…

The Diabo-Liks child brain extractor unit

See you at our footsteps…

The Diabo-Liks...

Valentine on mushroomz...

2010-02-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

I asked the devil where to sign and he pointed at the empty space at the bottom of the page with his lit cigarette.

I was selling my soul for fortune and fame and all that shit humans don’t need but desire anyways.

Would you love me if I had a million billion gazillion dollars and owned a hundred Bentleys? Forget it. I don’t have that shit in my pocket. All I have is a Swiss army knife, keys to my crib and fifty bucks in my Paul Smith wallet (Yeah it’s the real shit), chewing gum and maybe a pack of cigarettes. Not satisfied? Let me pull the plug on you.

Another pitcher please.

Shit man, that kiss was FUCKING awesome. Totally fucked my brains man. Frog, snails and puppy dog tails. Totally addicted to it man. Can’t I have just one more?

This is going to fuck up my life. Will things be complicated? Loosing cabin pressure. Holy shit, look at that little fucker goooo. It’s like a hundred beats per second.

Dude. Can I go to sleep now? Oh fuck I forgot. I FUCKING CAN’T.

The code is 17-30 something. Decode it. I bet you can’t. Guess what! I flunked in math. AGAIN.

It’s hard to be a guardian angel god. It’s hard to be one without any superpowers and any pay. I don’t want that to happen. I hope they rot in the ninth layer of hell for fucking up my night.

I remember that shit and I know you do too. I have been shrieking and growling with the sound that comes out of my magic box to burry this “SHIT” caged in my head. I need a fucking bigger gun. I told you that I was fucking serious. I was on the left side. Why did you turn to the right side?

Ten years older. Would that add another kiss? Or would you think of me as a little punk ass teenager? Yeah yeah, I love you, whatever. I know you liked that and NO, I’m not bad.

Hey dude… sorry for being a jack ass. Just found out how it feels like. Feels like taking a shower with HCL (not the computer. The acid) and you know what! It melted my skin and now the floor is all bloody.

Gotta go my lady. I’m totally buzzed.

Puking…

Half dead…

Passing out in…

Three…

Two…

Wwwwoooo…

========================================
whatz better than reading randome shit comming out of my head...
Therez love in the air and dead bodies under my bed...
Lets trip....

Later fuckerz...
Aj...

We all like bukake....

2009-11-15T06:08:00.000-08:00

This is another video presented to you by AJ productions. Now some of you will laugh like LOL. some will have brain damage and some will simply die...

so we have Dv ( Grey tee-shirt krazzy monkey in the extreme left), then there is VAIV (pronounced as vaaav, who doesn't know the song, in the middle) Then there is AJ ( AKA me, the growling metal headed wacko dude, in the front seat or extreme right)

Now every one knowz that the world wont be possible without BUKAKE
Special thanx to Mr. T77 and the driver who didn't die...
And to the rest of the world, go krazzzzy like we do...

Hope you didn't die...
Later
Aj...

I DIG GIANT ROBOTZ...

2009-11-12T05:12:00.000-08:00

The Place was a battlefield. There were blown up vehicles, dead people with holes in them. Empty bullet shells crowded the land like ants on a chocolate cake filled with chocolate with chocolate icing with chocolate wafers and covered in chocolate (yeah, the chocolate cake). The smoke from the burning cars rose up and censored the view of the sun and sky for the earthlings.

While this was happening, I was watching Giant Robot cartoonz in some other part of the world. So this is not about me.

Just when Captain Poopme Shorts (that’s the name. You gotta problem?) Thought he had won the battle but then Giant Robots appeared from nowhere (not related with me). One of his half dead soldiers held his leg and screamed in a terrified tone which was hard to hear in the noise of machine guns shooting from the fingers of the Giant Robots and the army tanks returning the fire with whatever tanks shoot out of their gigantic erected penis like cannons.

In some other part of the world I was sleeping with my mouth open and saliva was dripping out like the Mississippi river flows out of the tree of origin ( You guys don’t even know the half truth about it)

One of Poopme’s men gathered the courage to run through the rain of chain gun bullet and mud like dead bodies. Basically he had balls made of metal or stainless steal.

‘Sir!’ He said.
Poopme didn’t respond. He was in a shock after seeing the metal sky scrapers which shamelessly slaughtered and raped his troops. No wait. They didn’t rape them, just slaughtered them.

Me? I was thumb wrestling with kinder gardeners. I shoot them if I get defeated.

By this time Poopme had lost all hope but he kept pumping his men.

Men. We might be the last troops left but we are humans. We are the greatest species in all the galaxies ever created and destroyed. Remember they might be robots with bigger guns puking out fire and death but WE, we have the balls and we will defend the world with our balls. You can run home to your mommies but remember, by the time you reach home, your mommies will be raped and murdered by these ball-less robots. Now buckle up men. We have got to make some holes in some metal giants.

At that moment I killed a kitten, drained its blood and drew a dead kitten with it and signed it with the initials AJ and sold it to Peter Pan for $ 8,980.

In some other part of the world, Poopme and his men used the last of their ammo and strength to bring down the robot army.

In the end all of Poopme’s men died and Captain Poopme Shorts got a bullet in his head and got squashed underneath a giant metal foot. His skull was crushed and his eyeballs rolled out of their sockets and cute little bacteria decomposed them down at the speed of light.

I was hunting down Care Bears with my sniper rifle when my phone buzzed. ‘We have completed our part of the deal, now it’s your turn’ came a heavy voice.
‘Ten million tones of monkey pee is already on its way to your planet. Enjoy.’ I replied trying to make my voice look heavy. I hung up the phone and took a head shot at a Care Bare and enjoyed seeing his helpless friends run away and leave him to die.

Yes I’m a bad ass…

= = = = = = = = = = = = ==================

Yes I paid giant robots to kill Captain Poopme shorts and his men. Why? Because everyone DIGZ a Giant robot even chicks…

In other news, the Bournville Chocolate Add is a fake. There is no giant bird which will kill you if you don’t do the British mambo jumbo thing…

And they still kill Kenny...

Don’t forget… Vote for Giant robots or else…

AJ…

Life and me....

2009-10-20T11:09:00.001-07:00

I know this place is dead like a graveyard. Why? Well things aren’t funny enough. My life is filled with garbage. See I’m even using proper words (garbage) I meant to say shit. Things were funny once but not anymore. They told me to grow up and pop, I have brains in my balls. Every time I think of writing a story it turns into a romantic shit and all.

What inspired me before the brains in my balls? I’d say Cartoons, no Anime. What the hell it’s all the same for you reality show bitches. Yeah I called you bitches and not radio active premature semen. My vocabulary sucks more than before. So I was talking about stuff that gave me inspiration. It was an Anime named ONE PIECE. A perfect blend of Action, comedy, a little drama, lots of stupidity and chicks. It was an addictive Anime. It’s all over now. Its all south park and family guy these days. They aren’t stupid enough for me.

And then comes muzak (music) Rap and Hip hop. All EMINEM. The first song I can remember of is slim shady and that was in third grade. (I’m in eleventh grade now) Why did I stop listening to it? Well I go to my school, malls, hoods, parties and other places and I hear mother fuckers talking about it like they know Marshal before he was a little fuse in his mother’s womb. I mean why wont you listen to him when I did and why does it even bug me if you do. Well I don’t want fuck faces doing what I do or did and no I don’t believe in equality. Now I listen to METAL. I can’t even understand the lyrics; I have to look them up in winamp.

And then, the opposite sex. I’m a male so the opposite sex will be female. I’m seventeen and still single. Its not that I am a homo or the ugly type and no I’m not crazy in the real world. It’s just that I was/am interested in anime chicks. They are anyway better than real chicks. Only problem is that you cant hang out with them. I learned to respect females from the ONE PIECE cartoon (long storey. You should watch it) so I’ve been a gentle-dude all my life. Haven’t been rude to a chick, haven’t abused any, always let them sit first and all of that and no one appreciates that. Well fuck that.

Anyways, I couldn’t find THE ONE (THE ONE refers to the chick) they are all plastic and concrete and a little rubber. I’m looking for someone metal. Someone I could head bang with in the Hard Rock café. Someone whose imagination frequency matches my own, who could kick my ass on one of those lazy days, someone who could give me a kiss when I needed one (see I’m all romantic and shit), someone to hold my ammo when I shoot down my enemy or count the money after a big robbery.

And then comes my crib (my room) I like graphics and want my walls to look pimped up. No I’m not talking about posters of my favorite band or porn star. I like anime and so I have printouts and a lot of them. Although I like a clean room, I don’t like changing or shifting things from place to place. My mother (yes I live with her. I love her even if she doesn’t like what I have become and what I do) shifts everything. I can’t appreciate my own plans.

And Competitions. They fuck up the fun. I happen to drag my ass in two or three and I can’t seem to walk away. Its like whatever you do there is always someone better than you. Bitches won’t let you appreciate your own work. I soooooo hate this shit taking over my life.

I’m trying really hard to go back to the previous me. It’s not a permanent change. Education sucks. Can’t live with it, Can’t live without it. I have to sleep early to wake up early and go to my tuitions at 6AM. Math. I get scolded by my mom every time about that. I don’t want to be an ass hole and talk back but this study all the time thingi is making me a zombie. I don’t drink booze; don’t smoke, not into drugs and prostitution. Isn’t that enough. Let me tell you one thing. IF you piss me off, and I happen to loose control, my sub conscious mind makes me hurt people. Real Bad.

I appreciate God and Satan for making my life better than a million suckers out there but there are some things you can’t stop whining about.

Oh and there is this human named Luciana Jade. She will be posting stuff over here… be nice people…

AJ

HI MOM!

2009-09-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

CODE RED PEOPLE

OK so my mom is going to read my blog so every one act nicely. Tuck in your shirts in and stand straight and try not to abuse people. Greet her nicely and put up your smiling faces. NO EMO/GOTH SHIT.

Oh and clean your room and don’t forget to mention that I am a brilliant kid…

AND

Hey mom.... I'm on the internet :)

High on sugar

2009-09-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

Try to understand how I feel….
Stripped off the internet twelve hours a day…
The next eight are slept away…
Six are now left...
No wait…
Only four… Shit….
I suck at math
And so they send me to tuitions….
Fuck it…

Blogsphere is unknown again…
My blogs were left alone in vane…
Listen to the drum…
Call for my revival…
Betray your loved ones….
Wish them to dust…

Rape your heat and pull it out….
Put in a nuclear plant and it will sprout…
And then…

Radioactive poop men…
Soda pop pee…
Purple vomit…
And that is what we call free…

Dot, dot, dot (…)
I like them a lot…
And that is why all the lines are with these spots…

Sharpen your blade…
For the war today…
You will die for sure…
And will be washed away to a sea shore…
You fucking whore…

Head bang to the chaos…
And…
Murder the hippie…
Cut the crap…
Cuz…
The monkey stole my hat…

Fuck it… Again…
I don’t have a hat…
And…
To rhyme it we say ‘pfat’
What ever that means…
Eat some beans…
Fart next to the fire…
Turn your thought into desire…

That is what my head says…
Sugar crystals in my vanes…
Hyper activated my ways…

Yeah….

===================================
I ate toooooo many chocolates and got high and wrote this. If this doesn’t make any sense to you then have ten tea spoons of crystallized sugar and then try reading it again. It’s a piece of my brain.

Or I tried to rhyme some lines on one of those lazzzzzzy days filled with sugar….

Boom Baby...

2009-08-31T08:35:00.000-07:00

My vision turned to grey like a stupid dog or you people might say black and white. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but they were pointing their guns at me. I also felt a gun in my dead hand but before I could make my veins to roll the blood, they kicked it to a side. More of them came out of their identical cars with lights on the top. I think the lights were red and blue but at that moment they seemed like grey and dark grey.

I could feel myself smile as they handcuffed my hands. Dickheads didn’t even know that I was half dead and couldn’t move. They ripped open my favorite shirt to check the size of the holes in my chest, at that moment I wanted get up and grab their necks with my bare hands and squeeze them so hard that their eyes would pop out of their sockets and I could spit out the mixture of broken teeth blood and saliva that I had in my mouth after going air born.

In the mean time I looked around to see the gardening that I had done and I was satisfied. There were enough sticks and stones to break everyone’s bones and that was the time that I saw stupid monkey people with stethoscopes gathered around my lovely neighbor Ms. High. She had the best YOU KNOW WHAT (weed) I had ever seen. It was a pity to see her dead in her sweet marijuana top and Jens drenched in blood flowing from her high head.

Ha Ha... I make joke (stupid)… get it, Ms. High’s high head…

So with a little more laughter I regained my senses. ‘Time?’ I asked the stupid nerd, freshly gotten a degree, paramedic kid. He cleared the sweat off his forehead and said in a trembling voice ‘Five twenty nine, now stay still.’ I smiled again and this time I was showing my perfectly brushed teeth which I later noticed to be missing or painted red. ‘How old are you son?’ I asked with a cracking voice. ‘Twenty four. Now shut the fuck up.’ Kids these days, they don’t respect people properly under pressure. ‘Well then, you are not underage after all.’

‘Underage for what?’ is shouted with an effort.

And then I said my final words…
‘BOOM BABY’

And then there was white light, flying car parts, Ms. High’s limbs, stethoscopes and nerdy glasses…

==========================================

Back with a boom baby.... so what did i miss???

Stupidity+teenagers+sleepover thingi+muzic equals to

2009-06-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

WARNING
Management is not responsible for any WTFs or any kind of brain damage.

well its been quite a while. i just got too lazy to post another story. Too lazy to even change my profile picture. well i am feeding you guys with these videos of these two maniacs. i know them well and it almost feels like one of them is me...
So the first video is called Grace headbanging
Its a blend of two best friends who head bang in some way in the middle of the night and mosh and do stupid stuff too...

The second video is called What boys do at sleepovers its all about two best friends waking to the sweet tune of children of bodom (the band playing the song behind) its full of madness and stupid stuff... yet again...

now think what the world is made of and are we better or Saddam Hussein...

Shattering the brain wave....

2009-05-30T01:04:00.000-07:00

About what people said, say, will say
Things you love now won’t be top priority then
The dragons you admire, just ordinary sea snakes
The god you trust, just an animal
The devil, a disturbed teenager
The sun, just a million watt light bulb
Your wrist watch, a broken down time machine
Your guardian angel, a stupid dog
The ruler, a small fish
Your hero, just a corpse
Your mind, a hard disk
Your heart, not there
The future, darker than black
The code, falling of an empire
The sound, only thing pure
The light, it isn’t white
Blind faith, not possible
The education, future slaves
These words, don’t make sense
The captain, can you trust him?
The sniper, a liar
The swordsman, true to his code
The cook, respect him
Navigation, another reason to get lost
The Archives, dusty and heart breaking
The doctor, ouch!
The musician, can’t stop loving him
Construct, the dreams I want to live on
Can you, Quit?
The game, can change the rules
The elders, won’t forgive you
The wine, useless
Download, a virus
Death,…….
=========================================
I passed my 10th grade...
75.4%
If you think you can score better then jump off the roof.
Monk-E got 90%, some one push him off the roof...
Fuck competition...
Not Lolz-ing...

Black gold!!!

2009-05-22T00:45:00.000-07:00

Dragon XIII

Long live the king!
Ye moved out of his room into the terrace.
He looked at his city.
His city
His reign has been a golden era.
Ye was a good Emperor. He loved his subjects and took care of them.
But he was ill and not well. He wanted to live longer and enjoy his life.
He had worked hard
It has borne sweet fruits
Too sweet for him to eat
He was an old and toothless Emperor
Red silken robes covered his wrinkled body
Gold chains hid his age
His blue eyes stared into the city
His blue blood was drying up.
He coughed and looked at his royal physician, Ming
Long live the king!, Ming replied
Thou has lived long…and shall do so, your highness!
Ye smiled
The next day had dawned too early
The servants drew the curtains
The rays of the immortal sun fell on his Red silken robes
The Empress dried her tears and placed a red rose on the Emperor’s clay cold hands and touched his clay cold lips
Long live the king! Long live in His Paradise!

===================================================

Another one of dragon's typingz...
you guys must be wondering why i dont write anymore...
well my result is gonna come in the next five days and i sit infront of the result site and crap in my pajamas.
so......
screw you guys, I'm going home.
wait a second! i am at home...

Lolz...

She...

2009-05-16T13:04:00.001-07:00

By Dragon Xlll

The little girl in the station.
Her hand tightly clutched the blood stained revolver.
Not knowing what she had done.
It had been too complex for her innocent head to handle.
But her heart was breaking.
She could say no more than “He’s gone!”.
The words left her dry lips and tears fell heavily.
The train sped away into the distance…There was a blur…
She had known something no one else did…
She had done something no one else could do…
Her tiny body lay on the solitary station, blood soaked and the revolver by her side.
The man in the black suit illegally employed child labors.
Orphans, Kids, the Homeless, the little girl.
When the man in the black suit came to know that one of his workers was going to betray him, he did what he could do.

The next day’s newspaper read:
Our Correspondence
13th may, 1992
There has been a suicide in Moore lane station last night at around 12:40pm.The victim is a small girl who shot herself because her guardian had rebuked her for being naughty. How she had come to find a revolver is still being investigated by the police.
Her guardian states that she had been very adamant the last few days.
“I’ve given her everything she wanted and yet…” he says between tears wearing a black suit in moaning.
The police are suspecting the station master and …

================================
so this chick walks to me, breathing fire and says " nice shit you have on the blog punk.. Mind posting my stuff too?"

And I'm like..."yes ma'am"

If you are a knob like my manager then this story is not mine, it belongs to a chick named Dragon Xlll, a dragon of fire and bad luck, probably an anime freak like me...

And people iv made a new blog, Klicked so check it out...

Agent lolz...
lolz...

Thy Bezt Friend...

2009-04-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

It was a regular hour on a regular afternoon of a regular day of a regular week of a regular month of a boring but regular year...

i was performing a CPR on my dead gold fish because it drowned in the water(now that was stupid.).
and just then my phone started to buzz. i checked the screen and it was one of my 5 best friends calling. so i picked it up (that was obvious).

Shorty- Yo dawg!

Aj- Wazz up dude?

Shorty- I think my microwave just fucked my dogg.

Aj- Huh what?

Shorty- I just gave my dogg a freaking cool shower and he just wouldn’t dry up so I stuffed him in the micro and now he looks like a turkey

Aj-What the fuck man! Your dogg turned into a turkey? Awesome I wish my dogg could do that.

Shorty- Try to understand dude, if my mom finds out she will feed the dogg to me.

Aj- Your lucky dude. You get to eat a dogg transformed into a turkey and all I get to eat is beans.

Shorty- Dude are you going to help me or not?

Aj- Stay calm bro. look around your kitchen and try to find some jelly. Maybe you can change your turkey; I mean dogg into a tasty pudding.

Shorty- Dude I couldn’t find anything in my kitchen but I found some green jelly in my mom’s room.

Aj- Green jelly?

Shorty- Yeah! It says T-O-O-C-K-S-I-C (toxic)

Aj- K bro. anything that moves without purpose is jelly to me. Now do exactly as I say- stuff the dog’s ass with it and put it on flame.

Shorty -K bro.

KAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( yeah it’s the sound you hear when some one farts and you accidentally place a burning matchstick in front of it.)

Aj- Dude what the freaking fart was that?

Shorty- Yo dawg my dogg just mutated into a super dogg.

Aj- What?

Shorty- Yeah! He is 70 feet tall, buffed up, has six pack abs and he screams like the tri pods in the “War of the worlds” movie and every time he poops, green flames come out of his vortex and I think my mom just saw him.

Aj- Oh dude your fucked big times.

Shorty- Yup. Yo dawg ill buzz you back. My dog’s going to piss in my neighbor’s garden. Later bro.
Down boy, down boy, down boy, down boy, down boy.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! My dog is eating me>>> help

Aj-Dude? You there? Hello! Yo!! yo!! yo!!

= = = == = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = ==
A friend in need is a friend who brings your dead dog to life.!!!
For those who have fucked, dead or mutated dogs…
Aj…

Human puddingz!!!

2009-04-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

When the sun is swallowed by the horizon, they dig themselves out. With worn out leather pants and no flesh on bones they stretch and enjoy the music their bones made...

Wooooa weeeoooaaaad *cough* *cough* *cough*. Said one of the five who came out first.

Then all of them started using their boney figures to dig...

And out came a guitar, bass, mikes, amplifiers, piano and million watts speakers and other stuff. They dragged the items to the top of a near by hill.

The one holding the mike said "ooane(one) ooo(two) oee(three)"

And they started making that sound. The sound of metal. With the bass drumz electricz, they played metal with a hint of the piano, just the way I like it, They ripped out the silence of the night like a Japanese gang bang rape scene...

They started to sing...
Human pudding...
Human pudding...
We were humanz...
Now we are puddingz...
Yeah!
Human pudding...
Human pudding...

At that moment hands, legs, heads, nuts, boobs, asses, long hair and ding dong weenes belonging to various bodies dug themselves out and formed complete bodies. With lighters in their hands

Just then multiple bright white gas ball thingies came out of their hearts or should I say rib cages. They took to the sky while the ones on the ground got reduced to bones with leather pants...

While the little balls combined into a huge big ball with the diameter of the earth's radius which also means half of the earth(well well I guess I do know a little bit of maths after all...)

The big spirit ball charged towards the earth's crust and blew up like a mega nuclear bomb (check out the nuclear bomb video on youtube) leaving behind a big toxic cloud of smoke, no life and the rest of earth which seemed as if some hungry sun of a worm took a huge bite out of a rotten apple...
==================
Metal leads to salvation or the opposite.
To me, salvation= half eaten apple-ish earth...
Oh and I saw Taj Mahal. It waz FUCKING boring.
And I ate a veg chicken burger.
Also a monkey stole my lunch...

Confusing Lolz...
Aj...

Fucking math

2009-04-05T21:38:00.001-07:00

Numbers numbers everywhere
Not a soul to play.

Call me superman
And use math as my kryptonite

Sick of feeling math in my head.
Its not my piece of bread(cake lolz)

I fear math more than death
1, 2, Fuck says my head.

Smash it, burn it, break it, kill it!
But it comes back.
---
An army of a million men.
Once opposed a math exam.

They vanished in a void.
Lost forever.

Now maths is your leader.
Why the fuck can't humanity see it?

Fuck all humans. Ill save them
I'll defeat the math exam.

A shield in my left
A sword in my right
I marched to kill it.

I puked out fire
I brought a storm
I swung my blade

Land shattered
Dust took to the sky
Lightning was afraid to strike

I was defeated again.
I lay still on the empty ground with the black soil.

Fuck you mathematics.
Its because of you I'm broken.
Its you who killed many.

Why won't any one kill you.
Its you who made me a bad
And I hate what iv become.

its time that you meet the monster.
Which you DID create.
===============
Die by the hands of mathematics.
Maths uses you as a slave.
Be proud of being loozers.

my math exam is like sooooooooooooooooo over
Read the post below to know whats gonna come up...
Aj

looking for action???

2009-04-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

So finally my exams are over and I'm free for at least two months. I have traveled far somewhere to a place called delhi. Nothing new about that.

Let's get down to business. Ill be posting a new story by tomorrow or sometime like that. PLUS ill be making a new blogs sometime when I reach my own crib (latest by 15th.)
This present blog will be pure, evil, and sometimes comedy (I'm very serious) stories.
The second blog- now as I got my camera back and I kinda know where to point it, ill be posting some pics and stuff...

Well that's about it. Think of a name till then...

After a long time...

Aj...