Stormi Sees What She Wants to See

ODE TO TRAD'R SAM

2012-10-28T20:14:00.002-07:00

The years go by, I love you still.

Keep coming back, against my will.

Each time I say: It will be my last!

But damn you Sam, you're such a blast.

Nic/Sis & Me & THE SCORPION BOWL

You draw me in, you've such a way.

Set my head aspin and my legs asway.

Your jukebox is a rocker's delight,

You always know how to spin it right.

Nic/Sis & Me & "just" some drinkies:-)

Scorpions sting, you know they do.

You tease me with not one, but two.

I slip out the door, say never again.

But we know I lie. You win, you win.

THIS FLIGHT TONIGHT

2012-10-24T18:06:00.000-07:00

Look out the left

the Captain said,

The lights down there

that's where we'll land

Saw a fallin' star burnin'

High above the Las Vegas sands.

My kingdom for a castle

And then we landed and then I lost a bunch of money playing roulette and then we went to Ka and then we had some kind of fun on Fremont Street and then the crackies came out and in between I took some pictures.

Literal Art Projects

Where I'd get married if I married

My new life motto

Only in America


Neon signs in the shape of a cocktail? Yes please

I want to lead a sepia life

K - k - k - k - k - KATHMANDU, THAT'S REALLY REALLY WHERE i'M GOING TO

2012-05-04T01:23:00.002-07:00

Have stuffed myself silly with all the great food at old favorites in Kathmandu, drunk a lot of wine & rum/cokes in my old haunts and been remarkably restrained in my souvenir purchasing (although only because I will be back in June and can stock up then). There are some 100%! Yak! Wool! blankets that are calling my name. If you want one too, email me your desired color scheme and I'll pick one up for you on my way home in June.

Have replaced the tasseled hat I lost at the Journey concert last Fall, replenished my supply of incense-scented Buddha-eye notepaper . . . and stocked up on a couple CANS of CHEESE. Yum. Yum. Yum. I would never buy it at home (and don't even know that it exists), it is ridiculously wonderful here.

Although haven't been in KTM for over 5 years, it felt like coming home. It's the "same, same, but different." There is still power loading, but the Thamel roads are paved. I'm staying in the exact same room at the Holy Lodge where people coming down the stairs can look in my uncovered bathroom window, but there's a swanky new restaurant area and a sweet little roof terrace. The Northfield is still dishing out awesome breakfast burritos, but Weitzen's chocolate cookies were stale little hockey pucks. Closed down both Tom & Jerry's and Sam's, but there is now a curfew and everybody out by 11:45 PM and the police now carry guns vs. sticks.

Was wonderful to see my sis Nic Morgan at Sam's last night for our big reunion!!!!! Haven't seen each other since Helsinki about 2-1/2 years ago, but worth the wait. FUN FUN FUN, but can't afford the Arcadia anymore:-)

This time tomorrow I will be in Bhutan and I can't wait for the next adventure!

A LITTLE UP, A LITTLE DOWN

2012-05-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

Originally written on 4/30/12 - problems with internet since entering Nepal . . .

HOW I could forget this saying about Nepali hills beats me, but forget I did.

Got up at 4:15AM today to hit top of Sarangkot for sunrise. Crap attack on way TO Sarangkot = 1. Views from Sarangkot = 0 due to fog. But still gorgeous. And hilarious to witness the solid lines of Asians with their tripods and GIANT LENSES on every available front-line surface. Since there weren't views of the Annapurnas, I just started taking pictures of the people taking pictures. Some of those lenses were like three feet long. I kid you not.

A few of us then trekked from Sarangkot back to Pokhara. HELLO, minor trekking. Hello, scree-covered hills up! Hello, small scary slate steps down! Why hello, shaking thigh muscles. Four painful and HOT - but picturesque and lovely - hours later, we trudged into our hotel grounds and basically collapsed. Oy. Months of Step classes at SF Bay Club does NOT prepare one for a short span of the real thing!

Digging the Pokhara scene, but so weird to see all the gringos. First place on trip so far where the dread-headed masses and horrendous sunburns blazing out of "native clothing" and poorly wrapped headscarves are EVERYWHERE. I guess I can count myself part of the group, as I finally purchased - and am wearing - my first souvenirs of the trip: Three brightly colored and jangly bracelets that will ultimately end up in the box where my trip jewelery goes to die as soon sa I get home.

On to Kathmandu tomorrow. Meeting Nic at Sam's Bar night after and fly to Bhutan on May 2. And, just finally got my Bhutan visa & flight confirmation YESTERDAY, so all systems appear to be go.

Resham phi-ri-ri, Resham phi-ri-ri,
Udera jau ki dan-dama-bhanjyang Resham phi-ri-ri.

BURNING RING OF FIRE

2012-04-29T05:13:00.002-07:00

Just pulled into Pokhara (Nepal) a couple hours ago. Man, I love Nepal. Worlds away from India in every way except geography - the people, the pace, the (relatively) garbage-free roads, the scenery, just everything.

A spectacular rain/thunder/lightening storm capped off our stay in Shimla, then I enlisted a porter the next morning to carry my huge bag down the treacherously steep and monkey-filled stairways and tunnels to Oscar. A very long drive day (about 14 hours) ensued, complete with a thwarted bush camp experience because we couldn't find any bush in which to camp. Leading to the late night check-in at a SKANKY hotel in Dehradun. Lest you think that I am being a snob, let me back it up with some rationale. Ant/moth/gecko infestation (depending on room), pre-existing shit in toilet/puke in sink (again depending on room), massive # of bed bug bites (equal opportunity in all rooms).

After that refreshing night's sleep, we headed off to Corbett National Park for two nights and our last hooray in India. The campsite in a "lovely Mango grove" turned out to be camping in a stone-covered parking lot as the grass was being replanted, resulting in almost all upgrading to very nice rooms. An elephant safari and a jeep safari were both very fun, but no wildlife to be seen other than a few birds and several deer. Sigh.

We made our way to the border with four fewer passengers (not their cup of tea) and a driver switch-out due to Indian visa issues at the craziest little border ever - down a dirt road where the only other travelers were two motorcyclists. Despite the lack of people, we were still on the Indian side for a couple hours as the two border agents laboriously and slooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwlllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy made copies of all our passports, then hand-copied all the info from our departure forms into a notebook, requiring many white-outs and checking/rechecking before finally stamping and sending us on our way. What in the world does India do with what must be hundreds of thousands of these books full of passport details? They must be mouldering in warehouses all over the country. Surely there must be a more efficient process?

Nepal side was very quick and efficient, then we were on our way to Bardia National Park. Another REALLY long drive-day. The deeper we got into Nepal, the more eerie little fires we saw in the deep dark countryside. Dozens of them. Some isolated little patches, some rings that traversed up mountains, others that looked like torches in trees. We thought there must be some type of festival going on. A scary one with old pagan roots where, perhaps, Westerners in large orange/white trucks were ritually sacrificed. Our fear of the fire was soon supplanted by the fear that we would drown, as Oscar trundled down pitch-black jungle roads over skinny little bridges that were SO skinny that his back tires were hanging into space and we were listing from side to side. We made it to the gorgeous Forest Hideaway VERY late and ate the delish dinner they'd prepared, quaffed our first of many Nepali brewskis and all went to bed (not tents - every single one of us upgraded to rooms).

Up VERY early the next morning for a jeep safari. A few minutes after we settle ourselves on the bench in our rustic old jeep, it breaks and I now have a bruise the size of a pear and a huge scrape on my right ass cheek as a souvenir. A hasty repair was made, but had to be repeated a couple times throughout the morning. Again, no lions or tigers or bears. Oh my. I am destined to never see a leopard in the wild.

But, remember those fires I was mentioning? Well, it turns out that they were not festive-yet-spooky man-made events. They were actually spontaneous forest fires because it is SO hot and dry. And how did we discover this? Well, the first clue was all the smoke and smoldering leaves/logs and blackened vines as we were riding deep within Bardia (one of only two jeeps in the whole park that morning). The second clue was when we came to a screeching halt because that wall of flames in front of us was the remnants of the wooden bridge we needed to cross to get out. Remnants, because the fire had completely burned down the far side of the bridge. The third and final clue was when we retraced our path and it was blocked by a fast-moving three-sided ring of VERY HOT and VERY HIGH flames. So down escape route #3 it was and no afternoon jungle walks.

We spent last night in Tansen, at a GREAT hotel with fabulous views and a passable red wine, I was kissed/groped by a very drunk Nepalese man at our lunch stop today, who kept saying "I'm sorry" before one of the other pax kicked him in the shin to get him off me. And now I'm at an internet cafe. Such is life. Can't believe that the trip ends in just a couple days. Delhi seems like it was YEARS ago instead of two weeks and Larium pills ago!

TOUCH MY MONKEY

2012-04-22T03:13:00.000-07:00

Namaste!

I am writing from Shimla, a lovely hill-station in Eastern Himachal Pradesh (India). The weather is amazing - especially after the hellacious heat of Amritsar and Delhi. Actually had to put on a fleece last night. Our hotel (Hotel White) has amazing mountain views from the terrace. Yes, we have a terrace . . . and a sitting room. Posh! But also weird stains on the sheets and one of those all-in-one bathrooms where the shower is just another thing on the wall by the toilet and everything gets/stays wet. NOT posh!

We arrived here yesterday evening after a long, scary drive from Dharamsala. Took us about eleven hours to cover the 250 kms of winding, no-guardrailed mountain roads and teeming town streets where LITERALLY a half-inch separated Oscar from the trucks passing in the opposite direction and the buildings and the human/bovine masses. Horn honking. Whistle blowing by actual traffic cops. Whistle blowing by random guys who get out of their cars and just start blowing whistles. Yelling and gesturing by helpful locals. Al is an absolutely amazing driver. It makes my stomach tie up in knots thinking about having to do it myself.

So, the top sight in Shimla in Jakhu Temple. It's dedicated to Hanuman, the Hindu monkey god. It involves a GRUELING hike up a seemingly endless, almost completely vertical mountain. At the bottom of the mountain, several old men try to rent you sticks to beat off the monkeys. Thinking this was a tourist scam, Jess and I declined. As we climbed and climbed and climbed and huffed and panted and thought we would truly DIE, we noticed that a lot of locals were carrying the sticks. As we neared the top, the monkeys became quite thick. And evil. Their little red faces with their devilish brown eyes, staring at you as if they want to eat you up. Or eat what's in your pockets.

They attacked a guy with an offering in his pocket. Swarming him and climbing up his legs and reaching into his pockets and screeching. They were running EVERYWHERE and there were DOZENS, not even counting the babies that were clinging to the stomachs of their satanic mothers as they raced around, jumped overhead, shimmied up fence posts and reached out to grab people as they made their way into the temple. Children were crying. Women were shrieking. Men were panicked. Sticks were shaken with great purpose. It was horrifying. Yet strangely exhilarating. We felt GREAT as we made our way back down the mountain - and qualified as "Absolutely Fit" for doing it within the "best" time limit. (Yes, they have a sign that gives you fitness ratings by age group based on time it takes you to reach the top.)

We then decided to check out the Viceregal Lodge, a gorgeous & imposing castle-y structure. The Tour Office told us we'd been misinformed. No need to take a taxi, madam! Short flat walk! Five uphill kms later, we dragged ourselves into the entrance, totally gutted. Anyone want to guess whether or not we took a taxi back? No?

So the taxi dropped us off at the bottom of the steep winding steps that led up to the hill on which our lovely hotel is perched. (The whole main town is off limits to traffic - and smoking for that matter - which is actually pretty heavenly. The whole town is actually pretty bizarre - it looks like a little Disneyland, with white steeds to rent and ride around on, cotton candy vendors, a huge Catholic Church, leftover buildings from the Raj.) We dumped some things and came out onto our empty terrace. Empty, that is, except for a monkey. I say to Jess, "Oh, there's a monkey out here." As I say that, it comes running at us. We yelled and stamped our feet and it jumped onto the roof above our heads and it's mouth became this FRIGHTENING round "O" and it started making this INSANE noise at us and three other monkeys ran at us from around the corner. We thought we were going to be attacked by rabid simians!!!! The ones on the ground were distracted by a bag of garbage, the screaming monkey on the roof was distracted by them . . . and we ran for safety. Good Hanuman!

We head off tomorrow for a bush camp on our way towards Corbett National Park. Trip is going fast so far! Dharamsala seems like years ago vs. two days! Loved it there and could have spent more time wandering amidst the monks. (No Dalai Lama - he's in the U.S.) Actually participated in a candlelight vigil on the first night (4/19), in honor of two young Tibetan monks that had self-immolated themselves earlier that day in Tibetan region of China. Did that make the news in U.S.?

Other highlight of last few days was the ULTRA-campy India/Pakistan border closing ceremony on 4/18. Heheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . . . it is a spectacle and a half. Get DOWN with your prancin', arm swingin', higher-than-high single-leg kickin', white spat wearin' selves, you Indian crossing guards:-)

OSCAR THE (NON) GROUCH

2012-04-22T02:31:00.000-07:00

Originally written on 4/18/12:

Well, I am now on my sixth Dragoman trip - so far, so good, only Day 2 so anything can happen! This time it's on a truck called Oscar and a couple new things have been introduced to the drill: You have to sign a release form stating you've read the itinerary and acknowledge it can change, the driver strongly encouraged everyone to wear their seat belt at all times and there is now a really efficient little GPS so you can't theoretically get lost. Times, they are a changin'. Although actually saw only one person USE the seat belt we were encouraged to wear (and it wasn't one of the drivers:-)

So the trip started out in Delhi on Monday night, in a REALLY nice hotel. And we stayed in it, didn't just meet in it and then shuffle off to somewhere unmentionable:-) There are 13 pax, including three other Americans. Not much overlanding experience outside of me and two other people, which became apparent when it came time to put up the tents and cook on Tuesday night. Or maybe people are just lazy. Of particular significance is the fact that my bag is NOT the largest - not even really ONE of the largest. I must be losing my touch:-)

Left Delhi at 6AM yesterday for a 450 km drive to Amritsar. Which, although uneventful, took 12-1/2 hours. Driving and highways in India are just as crazy as I remembered. Toilets are cleaner. No one needed an emergency stop. There's tons of room since there are only 13 of us. No one complained about the music. No one complained about the open windows. No one complained about the drive or asked how much longer. We didn't hit any children or cows or tuk tuks or bicyclists or other trucks, although all of those were options every second. We got to our campsite in Amritsar with plenty of daylight left. One of the drivers had already bought all the groceries, and he & his girlfriend cooked dinner. It was the easiest first day ever!

I helped a few people put up their tents, but I myself upgraded to a room. Hahaha. Had first of what will likely prove to be many Kingfisher beers. Slept like a rock. Didn't have to meet until 8 this morning. What?! I felt like I was at a resort!

Went to the Golden Temple, which is quite beautiful. God, it is hot here. And everyone, male & female, has to wear a scarf. Waited in pushy, claustrophobic line for over an hour to actually get inside the Golden Temple, where you were then pushed through in about 10 seconds. Wished I would have done a lot more background reading on the Sikh religion. Going back to the camp area . . . and getting in the pool. Did I mention that I feel like I'm at a resort? Going to the Indian/Pakistan border closing ceremony tonight, which should be awesome, then off to Dharamsala tomorrow.

More soon!

I TELL THE TRUTH, BUT HIMALAYA

2012-04-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well, my bag is packed - am I ready to go?
I hope that I can drag it to my do'.
I hate to tell you just how much it weighs . . .

But it's too late now to change my thoughts


FIRST TIME EVER, ONE BAG

What's in there now is what I gots
Already think I'm missin' a thing or two.

So e-mail and facebook me.
Tell me what's in store for me.
Give me all the gossip before I'm back.
Cuz I'm leavin on a jet plane
Not quite sure what's in store for me.
OMG I just can't wait to see . . .

xo

I WAS WALKIN' THRU THE PARK ONE DAY . . .

2011-04-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

Inspiration Point/Presidio

Today, as a matter of fact. It isn't May and I myself wasn't surprised by a pair of lovely eyes.

My eyes, however, did surprise a guy peeing in the bushes while his girlfriend was frantically telling him to "hurry up, hurry up, someone's COMING!" And I WAS surprised by the insane number of dog walkers and their packs of hot, tired, panting, disgruntled and mostly UNLEASHED dogs. (Yeah, I know San Franciscans are all up in arms about adding more leash laws, but Christ). And just because they're pooping halfway on the grass and halfway on the trails does NOT mean you shouldn't pick it up and just pretend it didn't happen.

Bridge Graffiti/Presidio

I powered through about five miles and once you got away from the dogs and the golf course teeming with fat sunburned guys in polo shirts and baseball caps, it was pretty peaceful. Kind of weirdly peaceful for being in a big city.

But it's the Presidio. The place where the Zodiac Killer escaped. And they never DID catch him. So even though it was the middle of the afternoon and there were people around, the woodsy nature thing started creeping me out a little bit. I'm thinking tomorrow maybe I'll walk to the beach instead.

HELLO, YEAH, IT'S BEEN A WHILE . . .

2011-03-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

Not much, how 'bout you????

I'm not sure why I didn't write, but I guess I really just chalk it up to a simple four-letter reason that starts with "L" and ends with "AZY." Although you'll notice that I HAVE made some changes to ye olde format in the meantime. Let me know what you think.

I've been loving my life . . . a little too much. Thus the need for some drastic measures that include a 5X/week early-morning Boot Camp at the lovely SF Bay Club. It's more dire than mere workouts can address, unfortunately, since my clothes have begun to physically hurt me. So I've recently started to incorporate the Flat Belly Diet into my life. Which is absolutely do-able in theory, but completely and totally sucky in reality. Here's some photographic evidence.

4-Day Anti-Bloat Jumpstart Lunch

This is one of my typical lunches these days. 1 cup of carrots, 1 stick of low-fat string cheese and 3 ounces of tuna fish. Oh, and did I forget to mention the glass of water. I have refused to make the special "Sassy Water" lately. It's part of the schtick, but it's just goofy and more effort than I can bring myself to muster up after the initial enthusiasm. Because I have no energy. Because I eat lunches like these. Because it makes me bitter and extra-cranky to slice up cucumbers, mint, lemons and a dash of freshly-grated ginger and have to pretend that it's a fancy cocktail.

Sigh . . .

KENYA & UGANDA IN THREE DAYS OR LESS

2010-12-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

The start of a new Drago trip is always interesting - is it a good group or a bad group? What's the truck like? What about the crew? Will there be any issues? So, here is how the "Gorillas, Chimps & Game Parks" is shaping up as of Day 5.

Newest Drago truck in use. Named "Fuffie" (pronounced "foo-fee") based on license plate and not real name, which means faith or something in Swahili. It is HUGE and posh and is seriously more like a big tour bus than a Drago truck. The only thing it's missing is an on-board bathroom. Seriously.
Twenty-one pax. Healthy mix of ages, sexes, nationalities, couples, singles. Everyone is really friendly, really helpful and pitches in on all the duties. Most everyone likes to drink, which makes for a lot of pee stops once the beer escapes the Eskee.
Three crew, WHICH INCLUDES A CHEF. What????!!!!! Yep, I kid you not. We have a cook and he is awesome. So cook group/set-up take on a whole new meaning and huge amounts of my personal stress are relieved since he coordinates EVERYTHING. Yeehaw!
Leader/co-driver are great, although we had to leave our driver (Hannah) behind in Kenya because she has had a recurrence of . . . malaria. Yikes! She is hoping to meet up with us en route, but now we have only Nick (a trainee) doing long drive days and everything else, although he has been a super star so far.
Crossing into Uganda was pretty easy and not that time-consuming. Still unsure about Rwanda. Our leaders had heard nothing about the entry issues and Drago has not responded to them yet. There are at least five of us (2 Canadians, 3 Americans) who are very antsy, but cautiously optimistic that it will all work out.
Been doing lots of driving through gorgeous, lush Kenyan & Ugandan countryside. Roads, though paved, are in bad shape and it's slow going. Did a game drive at Lake Nakuru, where we saw masses of pink flamingos and white rhinos, and where our mini-van got mired in mud. It took an hour, a ripped blanket that did NOT hold as a tow-rope and a rescue van with a chain that DID hold to make it out.
Went to the Saidi Orphanage in Gigli, which was humbling to say the least. Ate a massive Indian dinner at the Naiberi River Campsite that, while delicious, was a "hot in, hot out" kind of experience. Have had some fantastic campsites so far, with hot showers, flush toilets and full bars . . . and often upgrades to rooms are available, although have only done that once so far. (Then again, it's only been three nights. Ha!) Ah, the rough life of an overlander:-)
We have penalties for the # of times we call the "truck" a "bus." People have to buy shots for the last night Punch Party based on how many times they f-up. One shot per "bus." Some people are racking it up fast, although neither me nor Dad has a bad mark.
We also have an "Idiot of the Day" contest, the winner of which has to wear a dorky miner's hat for the evening. Dad won it last night, with the double combo of stepping in shit during a bush pee AND not knowing the name (on Day 4) of his "truck buddy." (We all have a buddy so we ensure no one gets left behind inadvertently.) He did look cute in his hat, though:-)

All for now, long drive day (around 400 km) to Kibbale Forest. We'll be looking for chimps tomorrow!

ANOTHER LION? WHAT ELSE YA GOT?

2010-12-03T22:04:00.000-08:00

Oh, the jaded soul who does almost a dozen safaris in three days!!!! Dad & I just finished up a three-night stay at the "fancy - yet understated!" Fig Tree Camp in Masai Mara. One of those places where they have permanent tents with real bathrooms and Masai Mara warriors everywhere and all-you-can-eat buffets and private breakfast in the bush complete with a private chef making omelets under an acacia tree and overpriced glasses of wine and you're not sure who to tip and how much. But, it was truly lovely and it was hard to leave.

The setting was fantastic, the staff couldn't have been nicer or more helpful, we went on ten (!) safaris in the special 4WD Land Rovers with only 2-4 other people instead of the mini vans and we saw literally LOADS of animals:

* Elephants, hippos, giraffes, jackals, hyenas, zebras, buffalo, lions (male, female, cubs), cheetahs, wildebeests, gazelles, elands, impalas, hartebeests, topis, antelopes, duikers, dik-diks, waterbucks, oribis, hyrax, ostriches, crocodiles, warthogs, baboons, colobus monkies, a black rhino, a python, a cobra, tons of birds . . . everything but the ever-elusive leopard.

It really did get to the point where everyone went from gasping and taking hundreds of photos of deer/zebras on the way in from the terrifying bush landing airstrip on the scary SafariLink plane to barely dragging out their camera for shots of cheetahs eating a fresh kill. It's so overwhelming and in such a short period of time, it morphs into this feeling of "oh, another elephant herd. Is there a big bull elephant? No? Let's keep driving."

We went to a Masai village and got to see/participate in some traditional dances. Have some great pix of uncoordinated me in a mating dance and Dad in a warrior jump wearing a lion's mane mask. I will be posting pix when I get home, by the way. The camera I had to buy in Istanbul doesn't have compatible downloading software (and it is all in Turkish anyway!). It was a pretty humbling experience, as the traditional hut for a family (four "rooms" - one for baby calves, one for the wife, one for the husband, one for the children) is made of cow dung, is dark & stuffy & has only three ventilation holes even though they do all the cooking over a fire in the hut . . . and is smaller than my dining room. The people have NOTHING, not a change of clothes, not any extra anything other than what they need to live. Makes you realize what we place values on and how very much we take for granted in American society.

Another terrifying SafariLink ride back to Nairobi, in an even smaller plane filled with death-defying BO and an emergency buzzer that kept going off because we were too high. Argh. Luckily only 40 minutes. Back to Kavi Mivilani hotel for late night scrambling about Rwandan entry forms, samosas & wine. Meeting Drago group at 6PM tonight for kick-off meeting . . . wish us luck that it is a good group!

CAIRO = CHOREOGRAPHED CHAOS

2010-11-26T02:07:00.000-08:00

Yep, it's here. The end of the first travel leg, Istanbul to Cairo, is complete. We are at the Sun Hotel in Cairo, close to the Egyptian Museum. (It's about a jillion times better than the Cairo joining hotel last year - the loathsome Bluebird.)

Yesterday was a loonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg, hot kinda cranky day with group dynamics in full play. We woke up at 2:30AM to make the long climb up Mt. Sinai for sunrise. I rode a camel most of the way up, which was awesome and star/moonlit and very bibical-esque and much kinder to my nether regions than those of the men's. I jolted awake a couple times, realizing it was probably not the best idea to fall asleep on a sheer cliff when I was not tied on to my beast.

Stumbly, rocky walk back down the mount and then onto Daphne for the drive to Cairo. Grumbling bag consolidation at the side of road to make unloading at hotel easier. Endless drive around Cairo, in worst traffic of trip, attempting to find the hotel. Everything out of the truck for those of us not continuing down to Cape Town. Noticed that one of those onward travelers already snagged my net the moment I unloaded it. Thought I lost the bag with the remaining Kitty money in the chaos, but had only over-organized. Ignored requests to leave behind things like "shampoo, lotion, wet wipes" so onward travelers don't have to spend their own money to buy more. (Never, and I mean NEVER, have I seen the level of cheapness & moochiness that I have seen on this trip.) Nice hot showers restored equilibrium, at least on a surface level.

Went to a great "last group dinner" at a place called Felfela. Well, all but three pax who decided they'd had enough of group dynamics - oh, about two weeks ago. Kofta, kabobs, rice tangine, saucy little vegetables, red wine. Delish. But one of those situations where people throw the money they've decided they owe on the table and immediately leave, thereby resulting in a large shortage that has to be funded by the few responsible parties that are still at the table. Seriously? Seriously. My blood doth boil. I HATE stingy people and those who assume others don't mind chipping in extra for them. ERG.

A few of us went out with one of the locals (Sammy) to a pub for some beers. Beers were good, his teeth were not. Crazy black stumps and gaping holes are us. Accompanied by very close and in-your-face comments. Whew. Literally.

Many of us were up all night making good use of communal bathrooms. Perhaps Felfela was not as good as it seemed???? UGH.

One hundred percent of kitty duties fulfilled this morning, with the happy ending of a $29 refund to each pax. WHOO HOO!!!!! Changing to a private room for tonight and tomorrow, and flying out to Nairobi tomorrow night . . . where oh where does the time go.

HAPPY BELATED THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE AT HOME!

DELICIOUSLY DAZED IN DAHAB

2010-11-23T03:39:00.000-08:00

Last few days have been best of trip thus far . . . wandering awestruck through Petra and clinging to a donkey while going up steep stone steps to the monastery there, dangerously bouncing around in the back of a jeep in Wadi Rum and drinking tea while the sun sank behind the rock formations, smoking sheeshas like there's no tomorrow, punch party (of the alcoholic variety) at a Bedouin camp under the stars with only the occasional train chugging by in the distance to break the deep desert silence, hanging out by the Red Sea in Dahab. Life, you are velly velly good to me.

We head to St. Catherine's Monastery and Mt.Sinai tomorrow, then Cairo, then I am off to Kenya/Masai Mara.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER RUIN . . .

2010-11-19T05:53:00.000-08:00

Non-stop activities since we Americans actually received our passports and caught up with the rest of the group at Crac de Chavelier in Syria . . . YAY! We actually arrived there about 10 minutes after the truck, having left Turkey at 2AM and traveling about fourteen hours straight in a riot of vehicular modes (private van from Goreme to Antakya, taxi from Antakya across the border to Aleppo, public bus from Aleppo to Homs, local shuttle from Homs to Crac).

It was all actually surprisingly easy given the skills of Dave the Driver, henceforth to be known as "Shagoman" for reasons that shall not be divulged here (and which did not involve me). He joins the cast of other superheroes on Daphne, which include "Shitty B" and "Sphincter Boy." (I think these names paint a vivid picture of things that preoccupy all of us as we sample the world's epicurean treats.)

We ended up missing Aleppo and Palmyra, which was a big bummer, but happy to have made it into the country at all. Will be giving an earful to a couple travel companies when I return stateside.

From Crac, it was on to Damascus and its souks, shishas (water pipes) and shady gay bars. (Alcohol is not that common outside of the Christian quarter.) Loved it. Also site of lengthy and disgruntled kitty paperwork session. Did not love it. Lost two more pax here, for a total of five down in two weeks. Not sure what that says about the group dynamics, but I could make a guess or two.

Tried to do a day trip to Lebanon with three other pax, but were unable to complete as they all had single-entry visas and border officials wouldn't allow them to purchase a new visa for re-entry. (Ironically, it WAS possible for me as my hard-won Syrian visa was a multiple entry.) Had a major "to do" with the guy who arranged the trip, who had GUARANTEED that he would refund all money if there were any issues and then tried to do the ol' "you pay for half" scheme. I pulled out full bitchery and money was returned in full, although not happily.

Toured the impressive Jerash ruins and took in the ultra-cheesy (and expensive) "Gladiator/Chariot" show. Camped at the Olive Branch resort, where I upgraded to a nice room in lieu of tent. Had a group showdown with a bunch of French tourists over who could use the outdoor cooking/patio area and lights. Shagoman won, after narrowly avoiding physical harm by one of "them."

Yesterday Daphne made the treacherously steep drive down to the Dead Sea, where we bobbed around like corks. It was crazy!!!! You really could basically sit up in the water. And skin felt so slick and oily after! Also interesting to see all the Muslim women swimming fully clother/veiled. Played around for about an hour, then hung by the fresh water pool smoking shishas before making the steep drive back up in the dark to Mt. Nebo, where we set up camp in a parking lot. Not much sleep had by any, as it was WINDY and noisy and lots of bad stomachs with no private places for bush squats. Up early for brief tour of Mt. Nebo, then on to Wadi Musa. We tour Petra tomorrow, Wadi Rum the day after, then into Egypt and St. Catherine's Monastery and Mount Sinai.

Off to the hammam now, then group dinner and movie ("Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", which features Petra) . . .

HEY, HEY, GOREME

2010-11-11T00:28:00.000-08:00

Staying in an amazing hostel called the Rock Valley Pension. Upgraded to a huge private room. which is full of rugs and wall sconces and frescoes/murals on the stone walls and a giant bathroom with hot water and a good drain so you are not walking in water all day. Love it. The staff is amazing and very helpful, the town is totally sleepy and cute, and the weather has been AWESOME and sunny during day, although very cold once sun dips. It's apparently very rare for it to be this hot at this time of year and they expect snow in a couple weeks!

We've crammed a lot in, although I had to forego the hot air ballooning due to fear of heights. Everyone who went LOVED IT, with a capital LI. Walking in the Ilhara Valley, Selime Monastery, underground city, Pigeon Valley, all-you-can drink Turkish night with dinner and Dervishes and belly/folk dancers and drunken shenanigans, Turkish carpet presentation, lots of delicious food . . . I look like I am growing a hot-air ballon because I've been eating so much AND stomach has been good for a welcome change.

Went to a Hammam here a couple days ago with one other female pax and five of the guys. I guess they think we have no shame as we're not Muslims and they put us all together in the bathing room with very brief little towels for us women, which led to very strategic rolls from front to back while being washing/massaged and rinsing. Wasn't so bad when it was just our group, but a large huddle of Chinese men came in toward the end and got a couple good eyefuls. Felt so good though, and very woozy after.

Which probably contributed to me buying two Turkish rugs at the carpet lecture/dinner. MAN, they are beautiful. A runner and an old beat-up tribal kilim. They'll ship them from here and should arrive by the time I get home. I have a bit of buyer's remorse, which one of the other pax keeps reinforcing by telling me what a great deal HE got on his rugs, blah, blah, blah, annoying cakes.

That's not all that's annoying about this trip, which now consists of 15 passengers and two drivers (who are great, by the way). There are:

* Four Americans (including me, one of the drivers and an older couple)
* One Irish guy
* Two Canadian girls
* Six Brits (including three guys, an older couple and one of the drivers)
* One Polish woman (who just joined us here in Goreme due to problems getting her Ethiopian visa earlier)
* Four Aussies (three guys and a woman who will not be continuing the trip with us because she hurt her leg quite badly a couple days ago)
* One twenty-seven year old truck named Daphne

I am on the younger side of the group, with many in their mid to late 60s, but also two 20 year olds. Other than the knee injury, we have also had someone spend the night in the hospital on an IV drip here in Goreme due to a raging bacterial infection. We have someone who can not handle their alcohol and becomes a raving loon after a few too many (and NO, it's not me). We have a couple uber-awful people that make me cringe whenever they open their mouths. Which is a lot. But, overall, it is a good group, it has jelled, Turkey has been amazing and I am having a blast.

Only one bush camp so far, although we missed one last night due to staying behind in Goreme. Oh yes, that's right. This brings us to the only potentially bad thing on the trip so far. Us three Americans had to send our passports back to Washington DC to get Syrian visas. Why did we have to do this, you might wonder? Well, because Drago repeatedly assured us that we did NOT need to obtain in advance and would be part of the group visa. But then we found out in Selcuk that was not the case. So back to the U.S. The last FedEx update showed them on a plane from Paris at 10:14 PM last night, so we are hoping to get them today or tomorrow so that we can take an overnight bus to Aleppo and have a chance of catching the group. If they don't arrive tomorrow, we're totally screwed and will likely miss Syria altogether. Needless to say, PISSED won't begin to describe how I'll feel if that's the case since the Syrian sights are the main reason I'm on this trip.

Such is life.

Off to the Open Air Museum and some lounging by the pool . . .

AH, THESE ARE THE DAYS

2010-11-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

Sending passport back to U.S. and hoping it is returned to me in Goreme so I can get into Syria.

Having to make emergency stops for CAs, although have not yet had to do behind the truck. Squatty toilets have, however, entered the picture.

Only 16 pax as a couple had to drop out. So Daphne is full, but not hideous. I have a full load of truck duties, which have proved not to be hideous either. Yet.

On our way to Termessos today to wander the ruins and then make some headway toward Goreme. It's a long, steep drive and Daphne is showing signs of her age.

All for now, as line for interent.

RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME . . .

2010-11-01T00:59:00.000-07:00

While Michael & I were enjoying a wonderfully decadent brunch overlooking the Bosphorus yesterday, there was a bombing in Taksim Square. Which was a short walk from where I was staying and we had - in fact - walked through Taksim Square just Thursday night. Yikes. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern.

So, our Drago trip kicked off last night at 6PM. It should be interesting. There are twenty passengers and two drivers in a "small" TWENTY-SEVEN YEAR OLD truck named Daphne. A mix of ages & nationalities, males & females, four couples (I think, still sorting everyone out). Including one older American couple wherein the wife has never left the U.S. and they are traveling all the way down to Cape Town. She seems completely overwhelmed and petrified, and they seem absolutely unprepared in every way. WHY, I wonder, did they choose this trip/style? I hope they love it, but am a little worried for them!

We're staying at the Orient Hostel, near Topkapi Palace. It is full of obnoxious youngsters, mostly Aussie/Brit guys who are trying to outscream each other about their sexual escapades of the previous night. Looking at them, it's hard to believe that anyone would HAVE sexual escapades with them, but maybe that's just me.

Anywho, we leave at 5:30AM tomorrow and have a very full day of driving, including a stop at Troy. Another hostel tomorrow night, then a week-long stretch of camping as we wind toward Syria.

"IF ONE HAD BUT . . .

2010-10-27T00:49:00.000-07:00

. . . a single glance to give the world, one should gaze on Istanbul." - Alphonse de Lamartine

I've got a better idea. I have lots of glances and I am going to keep gazing on the gorgeous men in Istanbul. Sheesh, it's almost too much to take. But, yes, I'll force myself to hang in there:-)

Quite a time racing around Ataturk International Airport, as Michael and I somehow managed to arrange everything but our actual meeting place. Happy coincidence that I saw him as I was trying to figure out how to call him on the wrong pay phone while also guarding my many bags AND duty-free Grey Goose Vodka "host gifts" . . . while also being discombobulated and grossly sweaty as it was very warm and I couldn't find a luggage cart for all said luggage.

Gorgeous sunny warm day which I promptly wasted by napping as I didn't sleep one wink on either flight, but did read one book & four magazines, drink two healthy pours of red wine, watch five videos and manage to lose my camera. (No more about that, I swear.) Michael more than made up for it by grilling some amazing steaks on his beautiful terrace for dinner while we caught up, watched the crazy orange moon and wondered many times just WHY there are so many huge & sinister birds flying around late at night.

Have been mostly eating and people-watching so far, but plan to fit in the Topkapi Palace, Chora Church and Whirling Dervishes over next couple days.

You say goodbye and I'll say gule gule for now (although I can't figure out how to put the proper dots over the "u's").

IF WISHES WERE HORSES

2010-10-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

then beggars would ride.
If packing was easy than
I wouldn't be fried.

If I wasn't so anal
About things very small
Then I would've been done with
The biggest task of them all.

LOL Cat Says "I hidin' in ur bags & breakin' ur back"

LOL Cat Says "I purrin' ur Vodka & helpin' u pack"

ARGH. I've done many Drago trips. That have included varied climates and 3+ months and camping and what have you. And ridicule from both Brit drivers and multi-national pax about my massive amounts of luggage. Yet, here I am again. Waiting until virtually the last minute and "editing" what I want to take and "evaluating" what I need to take. And still ending up with two huge bags plus a backpack. REALLY???? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??????

And you know what? I'm gonna just do what I always do. Create a massive amount of self-angst, hope I can sneak some of my stuff on the truck before it's associated with me and be massively self-important when somebody wants to borrow my duct tape or xtra strength Immodium or only-in-US-campers-TP.

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE . . .

2010-10-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

. . . the more they stay the same. Or maybe they don't.

Saklikent Gorge, Turkey (2001)

Then: I first went to Istanbul in May 2001. I was still a full-time Media Director at an ad agency. I had a full-time boyfriend with whom I lived, worked AND traveled. It was the first trip for which I needed a visa and I hadn't been many places outside of a few Mexican & Jamaican resorts. I'd never heard of Dragoman, let alone "overlanding." I stayed at the Orient Hotel.

Now: I'm going back to Istanbul this week. I am a consultant, often working for a Media Director at an ad agency. My lack of significant otherness is getting a little ridiculous. I will need seven visas for this trip and I've been to about three dozen countries, which I now know isn't much. I'm going on my fourth Drago trip and am already planning the next one. I'm gonna be staying at the Orient Hostel.

THINGS I SHOULD DO (BUT PROBABLY WON'T)

2010-02-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm not talking about charitable, altruistic kinds of things. Or educational, edifying types of activities. Or even checking off the "to do" list that has been making me feel guilty since I got back from my trip last September. Like getting back to my anal Microsoft Money tracking ways. Or organizing almost 15,000 digital photos. Or making the Drago video of Adam & Ant that has been percolating in my head for months. Or . . . I'd go on, but I'm depressing myself.

I'm talking about two recent, irritating experiences where I thought and ranted about situations that I really should - and could - tackle.

1. Create a real, current, DRIVER-FRIENDLY route map of San Francisco's "49-Mile Scenic Drive." One that goes EITHER direction, not just one. One that tells people EXACTLY where to turn & merge, complete with specific landmarks, so they don't need to have ESP or risk being rear-ended/side-swiped. One that takes into account major detours like the GREAT HIGHWAY being closed for a big chunk of southbound traffic. One that allows both driver and passenger/s to enjoy the journey.

2. Create a real, current, USER-FRIENDLY guide/checklist to setting up a new computer. Not the basically completely unhelpful User Manuals that COME with your new computer where they say "create backup discs immediately" (because they don't just include them anymore because they're cutting costs AND they don't tell you that certain brands don't work, etc.) and "connect to the internet." One that tells you each possible, logical step as well as how long it might take to complete. Perform these updates. Turn off this background program. Install these programs. Check this before you try to "Easy Transfer" your data from old to new computer. Here is what might go wrong and what to do. Don't freak out if "x" happens, do "y."

(And I don't mean a confusing "troubleshooting" problem or contact tech support that isn't available or costs an arm & a leg, I mean "here's how you cancel it.") Having gone through this process for three computers over the last five months (mine + two others) and beating my head against the wall all three times, I've decided there must be a better way.

Hoo-kay. Maybe I'm just getting cranky(ier) in my old(er) age. Speaking of which, I celebrated the big FOUR-FIVE in bowl-sucking style. Sometimes the steps just come natural.

WHO KEEPS THE MED PROFESSION BUSY?!?

2010-01-27T21:13:00.000-08:00

ME, ME, PICK ME!!!!

Eli always used to tell me that it's people like me that raise the insurance rates for everbody else. I always countered with an argument that involved something along the lines of why have insurance if you never use it? I'm sure there was a kernel of truth on both sides and let's just say I'm putting both to the test right now.

In the last couple days, I've been told that:

I don't have to have allergy SHOTS after about 15 years! But, suddenly, my allergies have morphed from molds & pollens to . . . peanuts & soy beans!
I "might" have OCULAR THYROID DISEASE and need to see an opthamologist ASAP.
I "might" have EYELID-SPECIFIC ECZEMA and need to see a dermatologist ASAP.

The only thing I know for sure right now is that I:

Am loving my new dining room table (CostPlus World Market = fab).
Have to take the Beetle in to get a headlight replaced very early tomorrow.
Have a giganto baked potato calling my name from my kitchen. I am about to load it with an equally large portions of both cottage cheese and Safeway's "Mexican Four-Cheese Blend." Peanuts and soy beans . . . who needs you.

LET'S TALK ABOUT CORDS

2010-01-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

My Mom kept the piece of my umbilical cord that dropped off in a small glass jar for MANY years. It was really disgusting and she finally threw it away. I still have my belly button, of course, but I can't STAND to have it touched. Even by me. The mere thought of having someone touch my belly-button almost gives me the dry heaves.

Anywho. I was doing some light furniture assembly/rearranging around the apartment tonight and realized that I really hate electrical cords The way they dangle and bunch up and just lay or hang there completely messy, hideous, mocking. Like these you see here.

It pains me to look at them, but at least I can touch them without getting sick to my stomach.

GIVE ME A BOOB, I'LL MAKE YOU LAUGH

2010-01-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

This is one of those TMI kind of posts, so read on at your peril.

It was that time of year, yep ladies of my age group, the mammogram time of year. I actually don't mind them. I don't love or even LIKE them, mind you, but they are much less painful than say bending your naill back or having someone touch your belly-button. But my point.

Oh, my point was that my technician was HI-LAR-I-OUS with a captial "H." Like one of those crazy unexpected characters that make your day. In the space of about 20 minutes, we covered these topics: Whether or not I liked the scent of a new hand lotion she'd just bought, the pros/cons of dating older vs. younger men, foot fetishists, art, real estate, NY vs. SF and how awful it would be to have a baby in your mid-to-late 40s. The capper was when she asked me what I did and then told me: "I won't help you do your advertising and you don't help me put your boob on the glass." And, well, who can argue with that?

Because I feel the need to post a pix, I'm also including a shot of my new dining room rug. Zootie the Clown likes it and I do, too.

xxoo

Stormi