STORY FOR CHILDREN

STORY

2010-12-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

STORY FOR CHILDREN

--------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------

He had arrived in the store just before Christmas when there had been a lovely big tree in the window, all decorated with fairy lights. Yards and yards of sparkling tinsel had been draped over everything, and holiday music had been playing all the time. Wolstencroft was especially fond of Jingle Bells. He liked its light, tinkling sounds. It always made him feel merry.

---------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------

At that time there had been lots of other bears to keep him company. In fact, there had been so many teddy bears crowded onto that one narrow shelf that he had scarcely had room to move.
But, one by one they had all gone. Gleefully waving goodbye as they were carried off to their new homes. Until finally, he was the only teddy bear left in the entire store.
He had hoped that Santa Claus would drop by on Christmas Eve and deliver him to a good home. But he hadn't. Santa had been too busy that year, delivering even more presents than usual.

     Wolstencroft felt sad and lonely sitting there all by himself on the shelf that was high above the Christmas cards. He longed to have a child take him home and love him and play with him. But, most of all, to hug him. For no hug is ever too big for a teddy bear.
     He was trying hard not to cry because he knew that tears would make his eyes all puffy and red and then he would have even less chance of finding a home.
     But why oh why didn't someone choose him?
     Why, he wondered, was he passed over so many times for other less beautiful bears?

Then one day, shortly before Easter, three bunny rabbits were placed on the shelf beside him.

-----------------------------------------

Custom Search

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They all had very big ears and feet and long legs. All three were wearing woolen sweaters.

Rita Rabbit wore a pink sweater. Roger Rabbit a green one. And Ronnie wore blue.

Roger and Ronnie were twins, and Rita was their sister.

"My you are a handsome bear," Rita told Wolstencroft after the store had closed for the night. "I'm surprised that no one has bought you and taken you home."

"So am I," replied Wolstencroft and, although he tried very hard to stop it, a tear rolled down his furry cheek.

Monkey Paw

2010-12-09T07:01:00.000-08:00

Without, the night was cold and wet, but in the small parlor of Lakesnam Villa the blinds were drawn and the fire burned brightly. Father and son were at chess, the former, who possessed ideas about the game involving radical changes, putting his king into suchm sharp and unnecessary perils that it even provoked comment from the whitehaired old lady knitting placidly by the fire.
"Hark at the wind," said Mr. White, who, having seen a fatal mistake after it was too late, was amiably desirous of preventing his son from seeing it.
"I'm listening," said the latter, grimly surveying the board as he stretched out his hand. "Check."
"I should hardly think that he'd come tonight," said his father, with his hand poised over the board.
"Mate," replied the son.
"That's the worst of living so far out," bawled Mr. White, with sudden and unlooked-for violence; "of all the beastly, slushy, out-of-the-way places to live in, this is the worst. Pathway's a bog, and the road's a torrent. I don't know what people are thinking about. I suppose because only two houses on the road are let, they think it doesn't matter."
"Never mind, dear," said his wife soothingly; "perhaps you'll win the next one."
Mr. White looked up sharply, just in time to intercept a knowing glance between mother and son. The words died away on his lips, and he hid a guilty grin in his thin grey beard.
"There he is," said Herbert White, as the gate banged to loudly and heavy footsteps came toward the door.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------
The old man rose with hospitable haste, and opening the door, was heard condoling with the new arrival. The new arrival also condoled with himself, so that Mrs. White said, "Tut, tut!" and coughed gently as her husband entered the room, followed by a tall, burly man, beady of eye and rubicund of visage.
"Sergeant Major Morris," he said, introducing him.

The sergeant major shook hands, and taking the proffered seat by the fire, watched contentedly while his host got out whisky and tumblers and stood a small copper kettle on the fire.
At the third glass his eyes got brighter, and he began to talk, the little family circle regarding with eager interest this visitor from distant parts, as he squared his broad shoulders in the chair and spoke of strange scenes and doughty deeds, of wars and plagues and strange peoples.
"Twenty-one years of it," said Mr. White, nodding at his wife and son. "When he went away he was a slip of a youth in the warehouse. Now look at him."
-------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He don't look to have taken much harm," said Mrs. White politely. "I'd like to go to India myself," said the old man, "just to look round a bit, you know."
"Better where you are," said the sergeant major, shaking his head. He put down the empty glass, and sighing softly, shook it again.
"I should like to see those old temples and fakirs and jugglers," said the old man. "What was that you started telling me the other day about a monkey's paw or something, Morris?"
"Nothing," said the soldier hastily. "Leastways, nothing worth hearing."

"Monkey's paw?" said Mrs. White curiously.
"Well, it's just a bit of what you might call magic, perhaps," said the sergeant major offhandedly.
His three listeners leaned forward eagerly. The visitor absentmindedly put his empty glass to his lips and then set it down again. His host filled it for him.
"To look at," said the sergeant major, fumbling in his pocket, "it's just an ordinary little paw, dried to a mummy."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Custom Search

-----------------------------------------------------------------
He took something out of his pocket and proffered it. Mrs. White drew back with a grimace, but her son, taking it, examined it curiously.
"And what is there special about it?" inquired Mr. White, as he took it from his son, and having examined it, placed it upon the table.
"It had a spell put on it by an old fakir," said the sergeant major, "a very holy man. He wanted to show that fate ruled people's lives, and that those who interfered with it did so to their sorrow. He put a spell on it so that three separate men could each have three wishes from it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDis1aeGoIQBCGDJ5pNHMz6kET1qzDrrWsCT9BCQfESYuSQp479GLRqttEHHRpGSGwPcls7Vz1b6cozRMPDo3P7_d9GctAgKbLACKtAYoUJBHrKU0Qo3xS9iM2WrByoQ_FAEjyAXYFp3sb/s320/cvvcv.jpg" width="282" />

His manner was so impressive that his hearers were conscious that their light laughter jarred somewhat.
"Well, why don't you have three, sir?" said Herbert White cleverly.
The soldier regarded him in the way that middle age is wont to regard presumptuous youth. "I have," he said quietly, and his blotchy face whitened.
"And did you really have the three wishes granted?" asked Mrs. White.
"I did," said the sergeant major, and his glass tapped against his strong teeth.
"And has anybody else wished?" inquired the old lady.
"The first man had his three wishes, yes," was the reply. "I don't know what the first two were, but the third was for death. That's how I got the paw."
His tones were so grave that a hush fell upon the group.
"If you've had your three wishes, it's no good to you now, then, Morris," said the old man at last. "What do you keep it for?"
The soldier shook his head. "Fancy, I suppose," he said slowly. "I did have some idea of selling it, but I don't think I will. It has caused enough mischief already. Besides, people won't buy. They think it's a fairy tale, some of them, and those who do think anything of it want to try it first and pay me afterward."
"If you could have another three wishes," said the old man, eyeing him keenly, "would you have them?"
"I don't know," said the other. "I don't know."
He took the paw, and dangling it between his front finger and thumb, suddenly threw it upon the fire. White, with a slight cry, stooped down and snatched it off.
"Better let it burn," said the soldier solemnly.
"If you don't want it, Morris," said the old man, "give it to me."
"I won't," said his friend doggedly. "I threw it on the fire. If you keep it, don't blame me for what happens. Pitch it on the fire again, like a sensible man."
The other shook his head and examined his new possession closely. "How do you do it?" he inquired.
"Hold it up in your right hand and wish aloud," said the sergeant major, "but I warn you of the consequences."
"Sounds like the Arabian Nights," said Mrs. White, as she rose and began to set the supper. "Don't you think you might wish for four pairs of hands for me?"

Her husband drew the talisman from his pocket and then all three burst into laughter as the sergeant major, with a look of alarm on his face, caught him by the arm.
"If you must wish," he said gruffly, "wish for something sensible."
Mr. White dropped it back into his pocket, and placing chairs, motioned his friend to the table. In the business of supper the talisman was partly forgotten, and afterward the three sat listening in an enthralled fashion to a second installment of the soldier's adventures in India.
"If the tale about the monkey's paw is not more truthful than those he has been telling us," said Herbert, as the door closed behind their guest, just in time for him to catch the last train, "we shan't make much out of it."
"Did you give him anything for it, Father?" inquired Mrs. White, regarding her husband closely.
"A trifle," said he, coloring slightly. "He didn't want it, but I made him take it. And he pressed me again to throw it away."
"Likely," said Herbert, with pretended horror. "Why, we're going to be rich, and famous, and happy. Wish to be an emperor, Father, to begin with; then you can't be henpecked."
He darted around the table, pursued by the maligned Mrs. White armed with an antimacassar.
Mr. White took the paw from his pocket and eyed it dubiously. "I don't know what to wish for, and that's a fact," he said slowly. "It seems to me I've got all I want."
"If you only cleared the house, you'd be quite happy, wouldn't you?" said Herbert, with his hand on his shoulder. "Well, wish for two hundred pounds, then; that'll just do it."
His father, smiling shamefacedly at his own credulity, held up the talisman, as his son, with a solemn face somewhat marred by a wink at his mother, sat down at the piano and struck a few impressive chords.
"I wish for two hundred pounds," said the old man distinctly.
A fine crash from the piano greeted the words, interrupted by a shuddering cry from the old man. His wife and son ran toward him.
"It moved," he cried, with a glance of disgust at the object as it lay on the floor. "As I wished, it twisted in my hand like a snake."
"Well, I don't see the money," said his son, as he picked it up and placed it on the table, "and I bet I never shall."
"It must have been your fancy, Father," said his wife, regarding him anxiously.
He shook his head. "Never mind, though; there's no harm done, but it gave me a shock all the same."

They sat down by the fire again while the two men finished their pipes. Outside, the wind was higher than ever, and the old man started nervously at the sound of a door banging upstairs. A silence unusual and depressing settled upon all three, which lasted until the old couple rose to retire for the night.
"I expect you'll find the cash tied up in a big bag in the middle of your bed," said Herbert, as he bade them good night, "and something horrible squatting up on top of the wardrobe watching you as you pocket your ill-gotten gains."
In the brightness of the wintry sun next morning as it streamed over the breakfast table, Herbert laughed at his fears. There was an air of prosaic wholesomeness about the room which it had lacked on the previous night, and the dirty, shriveled little paw was pitched on the sideboard with a carelessness which betokened no great belief in its virtues.
"I suppose all old soldiers are the same," said Mrs. White. "The idea of our listening to such nonsense! How could wishes be granted in these days? And if they could, how could two hundred pounds hurt you, Father?"
"Might drop on his head from the sky," said the frivolous Herbert.
"Morris said the things happened so naturally," said his father, "that you might, if you so wished, attribute it to coincidence."
"Well, don't break into the money before I come back," said Herbert, as he rose from the table. "I'm afraid it'll turn you into a mean, avaricious man, and we shall have to disown you."
His mother laughed, and following him to the door, watched him down the road, and returning to the breakfast table, was very happy at the expense of her husband's credulity. All of which did not prevent her from scurrying to the door at the postman's knock, nor prevent her from referring somewhat shortly to retired sergeant majors of bibulous habits, when she found that the post brought a tailor's bill.
"Herbert will have some more of his funny remarks, I expect, when he comes home," she said, as they sat at dinner.
"I daresay," said Mr. White, pouring himself out some beer; "but for all that, the thing moved in my hand; that I'll swear to."
"You thought it did," said the old lady soothingly.
"I say it did," replied the other. "There was no thought about it; I had just-- What's the matter?"
His wife made no reply. She was watching the mysterious movements of a man outside, who, peering in an undecided fashion at the house, appeared to be trying to make up his mind to enter. In mental connection with the two hundred pounds, she noticed that the stranger was well dressed and wore a silk hat of glossy newness. Three times he paused at the gate, and then walked on again. The fourth time he stood with his hand upon it, and then with sudden resolution flung it open and walked up the path. Mrs. White at the same moment placed her hands behind her, and hurriedly unfastening the strings of her apron, put that useful article of apparel beneath the cushion of her chair.
She brought the stranger, who seemed ill at ease, into the room. He gazed furtively at Mrs. White, and listened in a preoccupied fashion as the old lady apologized for the appearance of the room, and her husband's coat, a garment which he usually reserved for the garden. She then waited as patiently as her sex would permit for him to broach his business, but he was at first strangely silent.
"I--was asked to call," he said at last, and stooped and picked a piece of cotton from his trousers. "I come from Maw and Meggins."
The old lady started. "Is anything the matter?" she asked breathlessly. "Has anything happened to Herbert? What is it? What is it?"
Her husband interposed. "There, there, Mother," he said hastily. "Sit down, and don't jump to conclusions. You've not brought bad news, I'm sure, sir," and he eyed the other wistfully.
"I'm sorry--" began the visitor.
"Is he hurt?" demanded the mother.
The visitor bowed in assent. "Badly hurt," he said quietly, "but he is not in any pain."
"Oh, thank God!" said the old woman, clasping her hands. "Thank God for that! Thank--"
She broke off suddenly as the sinister meaning of the assurance dawned upon her and she saw the awful confirmation of her fears in the other's averted face. She caught her breath, and turning to her slower-witted husband, laid her trembling old hand upon his. There was a long silence.
"He was caught in the machinery," said the visitor at length, in a low voice.
"Caught in the machinery," repeated Mr. White, in a dazed fashion, "yes."
He sat staring blankly out at the window, and taking his wife's hand between his own, pressed it as he had been wont to do in their old courting days nearly forty years before.
"He was the only one left to us," he said, turning gently to the visitor. "It is hard."
The other coughed, and rising, walked slowly to the window. "The firm wished me to convey their sincere sympathy with you in your great loss," he said, without looking around. "I beg that you will understand I am only their servant and merely obeying orders."
There was no reply; the old woman's face was white, her eyes staring, and her breath inaudible; on the husband's face was a look such as his friend the sergeant might have carried into his first action.
"I was to say that Maw and Meggins disclaim all responsibility," continued the other. "They admit no liability at all, but in consideration of your son's services they wish to present you with a certain sum as compensation."
Mr. White dropped his wife's hand, and rising to his feet, gazed with a look of horror at his visitor. His dry lips shaped the words, "How much?"
"Two hundred pounds," was the answer.
Unconscious of his wife's shriek, the old man smiled faintly, put out his hands like a sightless man, and dropped, a senseless heap, to the floor.
In the huge new cemetery, some two miles distant, the old people buried their dead, and came back to a house steeped in shadow and silence. It was all over so quickly that at first they could hardly realize it, and remained in a state of expectation, as though of something else to happen--something else which was to lighten this load, too heavy for old hearts to bear. But the days passed, and expectation gave place to resignation--the hopeless resignation of the old, sometimes miscalled apathy. Sometimes they hardly exchanged a word, for now they had nothing to talk about, and their days were long to weariness.
It was about a week after that that the old man, waking suddenly in the night, stretched out his hand and found himself alone. The room was in darkness, and the sound of subdued weeping came from the window. He raised himself in bed and listened.
"Come back," he said tenderly. "You will be cold."
"It is colder for my son," said the old woman, and wept afresh.
The sound of her sobs died away on his ears. The bed was -warm, and his eyes heavy with sleep. He dozed fitfully, and then slept until a sudden cry from his wife awoke him with a start.
"The monkey's paw!" she cried wildly. "The monkey's paw!"
He started up in alarm. "Where? Where is it? What's the matter?" She came stumbling across the room toward him. "I want it," she said quietly. "You've not destroyed it?"
"It's in the parlor, on the bracket," he replied, marveling. "Why?"
She cried and laughed together, and bending over, kissed his cheek.
"I only just thought of it," she said hysterically. "Why didn't I think of it before? Why didn't you think of it?"
"Think of what?" he questioned.
"The other two wishes," she replied rapidly. "We've only had one."
"Was not that enough?" he demanded fiercely.
"No," she cried triumphantly; "we'll have one more. Go down and get it quickly, and wish our boy alive again."
The man sat up in bed and flung the bedclothes from his quaking limbs. "Good God, you are mad!" he cried, aghast.
"Get it," she panted; "get it quickly, and wish-- Oh, my boy, my boy!"
Her husband struck a match and lit the candle. "Get back to bed," he said unsteadily. "You don't know what you are saying."
"We had the first wish granted," said the old woman feverishly; "why not the second?"
"A coincidence," stammered the old man.
"Go and get it and wish," cried the old woman, and dragged him toward the door.
He went down in the darkness, and felt his way to the parlor, and then to the mantelpiece. The talisman was in its place, and a horrible fear that the unspoken wish might bring his mutilated son before him ere he could escape from the room seized upon him, and he caught his breath as he found that he had lost the direction of the door. His brow cold with sweat, he felt his way around the table, and groped along the wall until he found himself in the small passage with the unwholesome thing in his hand.
Even his wife's face seemed changed as he entered the room. It was white and expectant, and to his fears seemed to have an unnatural look upon it. He was afraid of her.
"Wish!" she cried, in a strong voice.
"It is foolish and wicked," he faltered.
"Wish!" repeated his wife.
He raised his hand. "I wish my son alive again."
The talisman fell to the floor, and he regarded it shudderingly. Then he sank trembling into a chair as the old woman, with burning eyes, walked to the window and raised the blind.
He sat until he was chilled with the cold, glancing occasionally at the figure of the old woman peering through the window. The candle end, which had burned below the rim of the china candlestick, was throwing pulsating shadows on the ceiling and walls, until, with a flicker larger than the rest, it expired. The old man, with an unspeakable sense of relief at the failure of the talisman, crept back to his bed, and a minute or two afterward the old woman came silently and apathetically beside him.
Neither spoke, but both lay silently listening to the ticking of the clock. A stair creaked, and a squeaky mouse scurried noisily through the wall. The darkness was oppressive, and after lying for some time screwing up his courage, the husband took the box of matches, and striking one, went downstairs for a candle.
At the foot of the stairs the match went out, and he paused to strike another, and at the same moment a knock, so quiet and stealthy as to be scarcely audible, sounded on the front door.
The matches fell from his hand. He stood motionless, his breath suspended until the knock was repeated. Then he turned and fled swiftly back to his room, and closed the door behind him. A third knock sounded through the house.
"What's that?" cried the old woman, starting up.
"A rat," said the old man, in shaking tones, "a rat. It passed me on the stairs."
His wife sat up in bed listening. A loud knock resounded through the house.
"It's Herbert!" she screamed. "It's Herbert!"
She ran to the door, but her husband was before her, and catching her by the arm, held her tightly.
"What are you going to do?" he whispered hoarsely.
"It's my boy; it's Herbert!" she cried, struggling mechanically. "I forgot it was two miles away. What are you holding me for? Let go. I must open the door."
"For God's sake don't let it in," cried the old man, trembling.
"You're afraid of your own son," she cried, struggling. "Let me go. I'm coming, Herbert; I'm coming."
There was another knock, and another. The old woman with a sudden wrench broke free and ran from the room. Her husband followed to the landing, and called after her appealingly as she hurried downstairs. He heard the chain rattle back and the bottom bolt drawn slowly and stiffly from the socket. Then the old woman's voice, strained and panting.
"The bolt," she cried loudly. "Come down. I can't reach it."
But her husband was on his hands and knees groping wildly on the floor in search of the paw. If he could only find it before the thing outside got in. A perfect fusillade of knocks reverberated through the house, and he heard the scraping of a chair as his wife put it down in the passage against the door. He heard the creaking of the bolt as it came slowly back, and at the same moment, he found the monkey's paw, and frantically breathed his third and last wish.

The knocking ceased suddenly, although the echoes of it were still in the house. He heard the chair drawn back and the door opened. A cold wind rushed up the staircase, and a long, loud wail of disappointment and misery from his wife gave him courage to run down to her side, and then to the gate beyond. The streetlamp flickering opposite shone on a quiet and deserted road.

HAIRCUT

2010-12-08T04:27:00.000-08:00

I got another barber that comes over from Carterville and helps me out Saturdays, but the rest of the time I can get along all right alone. You can see for yourself that this ain't no New York: City and besides that, the most of the boys works all day and don't have no leisure to drop in here and get themselves prettied up.
---------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------
You're a newcomer, ain't you? I thought I hadn't seen you round before. I hope you like it good enough to stay. As I say, we ain't no New York City or Chicago, but we have pretty good times. Not as good, though, since Jim Kendall got killed. When he was alive, him and Hod Meyers used to keep this town in an uproar. I bet they was more laughin' done here than any town its size in America.

Jim was comical, and Hod was pretty near a match for him. Since Jim's gone, Hod tries to hold his end up just the same as ever, but it's tough goin' when you ain't got nobody to kind of work with.
They used to be plenty fun in here Saturdays. This place is jampacked Saturdays, from four o'clock on. Jim and Hod would show up right after their supper round six o'clock. Jim would set himself down in that big chair, nearest the blue spittoon. Whoever had been settin' in that chair, why they'd get up when Jim come in and at" it to him.
You'd of thought it was a reserved seat like they have sometimes in a theaytre. Hod would generally always stand or walk up and down or some Saturdays, of course, he'd be settin' in this chair part of the time, gettin' a haircut.
Well, Jim would set there a w'ile without opening his mouth only to spit, and then finally he'd say to me, "Whitey,"--my right name, that is, my right first name, is Dick, but everybody round here calls me Whitey--Jim would say, "Whitey, your nose looks like a rosebud tonight. You must of been drinkin' some of your aw de cologne."
So I'd say, "No, Jim, but you look like you'd been drinkin' something of that kind or somethin' worse."
Jim would have to laugh at that, but then he'd speak up and say, "No, I ain't had nothin' to drink, but that ain't sayin' I wouldn't like somethin'. I wouldn't even mind if it was wood alcohol."
-------------------------

-------------------------------------------------
Then Hod Meyers would say, "Neither would your wife." That would set everybody to laughin' because Jim and his wife wasn't on very good terms. She'd of divorced him only they wasn't no chance to get alimony and she didn't have no way to take care of herself and the kids. She couldn't never understand Jim. He was kind of rough, but a good fella at heart.
Him and Hod had all kinds of sport with Milt Sheppard. I don't suppose you've seen Milt. Well, he's got an Adam's apple that looks more like a mush-melon. So I'd be shavin' Milt and when I'd start to shave down here on his neck, Hod would holler, "Hey, Whitey, wait a minute! Before you cut into it, let's make up a pool and see who can guess closest to the number of seeds."
And Jim would say, "If Milt hadn't of been so hoggish, he'd of ordered a half a cantaloupe instead of a whole one and it might not of stuck in his throat."
All the boys would roar at this and Milt himself would force a smile, though the joke was on him. Jim certainly was a card!
There's his shavin' mug, setting on the shelf, right next to Charley Vail's. "Charles M. Vail." That's the druggist. He comes in regular for his shave, three times a week. And Jim's is the cup next to Charley's. "dames H. Kendall." Jim won't need no shavin' mug no more, but I'll leave it there just the same for old time's sake. Jim certainly was a character!
Years ago, Jim used to travel for a canned goods concern over in Carterville. They sold canned goods. Jim had the whole northern half of the State and was on the road five days out of every week. He'd drop in here Saturdays and tell his experiences for that week. It was rich.
I guess he paid more attention to playin' jokes than makin' sales. Finally the concern let him out and he come right home here and told everybody he'd been fired instead of sayin' he'd resigned like most fellas would of.
It was a Saturday and the shop was full and Jim got up out of that chair and says, "Gentlemen, I got an important announcement to make. I been fired from my job."
------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------
Well, they asked him if he was in earnest and he said he was and nobody could think of nothin' to say till Jim finally broke the ice himself. He says, "I been sellin' canned goods and now I'm canned goods myself.
You see, the concern he'd been workin' for was a factory that made canned goods. Over in Carterville. And now Jim said he was canned himself. He was certainly a card!
Jim had a great trick that he used to play w'ile he was travelin'. For instance, he'd be ridin' on a train and they'd come to some little town like, well, like, well, like, we'll say, like Benton. Jim would look out the train window and read the signs of the stores.
For instance, they'd be a sign, "Henry Smith, Dry Goods." Well, Jim would write down the name and the name of the town and when he got to wherever he was goin' he'd mail back a postal card to Henry Smith at Benton and not sign no name to it, but he'd write on the card, well somethin' like "Ask your wife about that book agent that spent the afternoon last week," or "Ask your Missus who kept her from gettin' lonesome the last time you was in Carterville." And he'd sign the card, "A Friend."
Of course, he never knew what really come of none of these jokes, but he could picture what probably happened and that was enough.
Jim didn't work very steady after he lost his position with the Carterville people. What he did earn, coin' odd jobs round town why he spent pretty near all of it on gin, and his family might of starved if the stores hadn't of carried them along. Jim's wife tried her hand at dressmakin', but they ain't nobody goin' to get rich makin' dresses in this town.
---------------------------------------------------

Custom Search

---------------------------------
As I say, she'd of divorced Jim, only she seen that she couldn't support herself and the kids and she was always hopin' that some day Jim would cut out his habits and give her more than two or three dollars a week.
They was a time when she would go to whoever he was workin' for and ask them to give her his wages, but after she done this once or twice, he beat her to it by borrowin' most of his pay in advance. He told it all round town, how he had outfoxed his Missus. He certainly was a caution!
But he wasn't satisfied with just outwittin' her. He was sore the way she had acted, tryin' to grab off his pay. And he made up his mind he'd get even. Well, he waited till Evans's Circus was advertised to come to town. Then he told his wife and two kiddies that he was goin' to take them to the circus. The day of the circus, he told them he would get the tickets and meet them outside the entrance to the tent.
Well, he didn't have no intentions of bein' there or buyin' tickets or nothin'. He got full of gin and laid round Wright's poolroom all day. His wife and the kids waited and waited and of course he didn't show up. His wife didn't have a dime with her, or nowhere else, I guess. So she finally had to tell the kids it was all off and they cried like they wasn't never goin' to stop.
Well, it seems, w'ile they was cryin', Doc Stair come along and he asked what was the matter, but Mrs. Kendall was stubborn and wouldn't tell him, but the kids told him and he insisted on takin' them and their mother in the show. Jim found this out afterwards and it was one reason why he had it in for Doc Stair.
Doc Stair come here about a year and a half ago. He's a mighty handsome young fella and his clothes always look like he has them made to order. He goes to Detroit two or three times a year and w'ile he's there must have a tailor take his measure and then make him a suit to order. They cost pretty near twice as much, but they fit a whole lot better than if you just bought them in a store.
For a w'ile everybody was wonderin' why a young doctor like Doc Stair should come to a town like this where we already got old Doc Gamble and Doc Foote that's both been here for years and all the practice in town was always divided between the two of them.
Then they was a story got round that Doc Stair's gal had thronged him over, a gal up in the Northern Peninsula somewhere, and the reason he come here was to hide himself away and forget it. He said himself that he thought they wasn't nothin' like general practice in a place like ours to fit a man to be a good all round doctor. And that's why he'd came.
Anyways, it wasn't long before he was makin' enough to live on, though they tell me that he never dunned nobody for what they owed him, and the folks here certainly has got the owin' habit, even in my business. If I had all that was comin' to me for just shaves alone, I could go to Carterville and put up at the Mercer for a week and see a different picture every night. For instance, they's old George Purdy--but I guess I shouldn't ought to be gossipin'.
Well, last year, our coroner died, died of the flu. Ken Beatty, that was his name. He was the coroner. So they had to choose another man to be coroner in his place and they picked Doc Stair. He laughed at first and said he didn't want it, but they made him take it. It ain't no job that anybody would fight for and what a man makes out of it in a year would just about buy seeds for their garden. Doc's the kind, though, that can't say no to nothin' if you keep at him long enough.
But I was goin' to tell you about a poor boy we got here in town-Paul Dickson. He fell out of a tree when he was about ten years old. Lit on his head and it done somethin' to him and he ain't never been right. No harm in him, but just silly. Jim Kendall used to call him cuckoo; that's a name Jim had for anybody that was off their head, only he called people's head their bean. That was another of his gags, callin' head bean and callin' crazy people cuckoo. Only poor Paul ain't crazy, but just silly.
You can imagine that Jim used to have all kinds of fun with Paul. He'd send him to the White Front Garage for a left-handed monkey wrench. Of course they ain't no such thing as a left-handed monkey wrench.
And once we had a kind of a fair here and they was a baseball game between the fats and the leans and before the game started Jim called Paul over and sent him way down to Schrader's hardware store to get a key for the pitcher's box.
They wasn't nothin' in the way of gags that Jim couldn't think up, when he put his mind to it.
Poor Paul was always kind of suspicious of people, maybe on account of how Jim had kept foolin' him. Paul wouldn't have much to do with anybody only his own mother and Doc Stair and a girl here in town named Julie Gregg. That is, she ain't a girl no more, but pretty near thirty or over.
When Doc first come to town, Paul seemed to feel like here was a real friend and he hung round Doc's office most of the w'ile; the only time he wasn't there was when he'd go home to eat or sleep or when he seen Julie Gregg coin' her shoppin'.
When he looked out Doc's window and seen her, he'd run downstairs and join her and tag along with her to the different stores. The poor boy was crazy about Julie and she always treated him mighty nice and made him feel like he was welcome, though of course it wasn't nothin' but pity on her side.
Doc done all he could to improve Paul's mind and he told me once that he really thought the boy was getting better, that they was times when he was as bright and sensible as anybody else.
But I was goin' to tell you about Julie Gregg. Old man Gregg was in the lumber business, but got to drinkin' and lost the most of his money and when he died, he didn't leave nothin' but the house and just enough insurance for the girl to skimp along on.
Her mother was a kind of a half invalid and didn't hardly ever leave the house. Julie wanted to sell the place and move somewhere else after the old man died, but the mother said she was born here and would die here. It was tough on Julie as the young people round this town--well, she's too good for them.
She'd been away to school and Chicago and New York and different places and they ain't no subject she can't talk on, where you take the rest of the young folks here and you mention anything to them outside of Gloria Swanson or Tommy Meighan and they think you're delirious. Did you see Gloria in Wages of Virtue? You missed somethin'!
Well, Doc Stair hadn't been here more than a week when he came in one day to get shaved and I recognized who he was, as he had been pointed out to me, so I told him about my old lady. She's been ailin' for a couple years and either Doc Gamble or Doc Foote, neither one, seemed to be helpin' her. So he said he would come out and see her, but if she was able to get out herself, it would be better to bring her to his office where he could make a completer examination.
So I took her to his office and w'ile I was waitin' for her in the reception room, in come Julie Gregg. When somebody comes in Doc Stair's office, they's a bell that rings in his inside office so he can tell they's somebody to see him.
So he left my old lady inside and come out to the front office and that's the first time him and Julie met and I guess it was what they call love at first sight. But it wasn't fifty-fifty. This young fella was the slickest lookin' fella she'd ever seen in this town and she went wild over him. To him she was just a young lady that wanted to see the doctor.
She'd came on about the same business I had. Her mother had been doctorin' for years with Doc Gamble and Doc Foote and with" out no results. So she'd heard they was a new doc in town and decided to give him a try. He promised to call and see her mother that same day.
I said a minute ago that it was love at first sight on her part. I'm not only judgin' by how she acted afterwards but how she looked at him that first day in his office. I ain't no mind reader, but it was wrote all over her face that she was gone.
Now Jim Kendall, besides bein' a jokesmith and a pretty good drinker, well Jim was quite a lady-killer. I guess he run pretty wild durin' the time he was on the road for them Carterville people, and besides that, he'd had a couple little affairs of the heart right here in town. As I say, his wife would have divorced him, only she couldn't.
But Jim was like the majority of men, and women, too, I guess. He wanted what he couldn't get. He wanted Julie Gregg and worked his head off tryin' to land her. Only he'd of said bean instead of head.
Well, Jim's habits and his jokes didn't appeal to Julie and of course he was a married man, so he didn't have no more chance than, well, than a rabbit. That's an expression of Jim's himself. When somebody didn't have no chance to get elected or somethin', Jim would always say they didn't have no more chance than a rabbit.
He didn't make no bones about how he felt. Right in here, more than once, in front of the whole crowd, he said he was stuck on Julie and anybody that could get her for him was welcome to his house and his wife and kids included. But she wouldn't have nothin' to do with him; wouldn't even speak to him on the street. He finally seen he wasn't gettin' nowheres with his usual line so he decided to try the rough stuff. He went right up to her house one evenin' and when she opened the door he forced his way in and grabbed her. But she broke loose and before he could stop her, she run in the next room and locked the door and phoned to Joe Barnes. Joe's the marshal. Jim could hear who she was phonin' to and he beat it before Joe got there.
Joe was an old friend of Julie's pa. Joe went to Jim the next day and told him what would happen if he ever done it again.
I don't know how the news of this little affair leaked out. Chances is that Joe Barnes told his wife and she told somebody else's wife and they told their husband. Anyways, it did leak out and Hod Meyers had the nerve to kid Jim about it, right here in this shop. Jim didn't deny nothin' and kind of laughed it off and said for us all to wait; that lots of people had tried to make a monkey out of him, but he always got even.
Meanw'ile everybody in town was wise to Julie's bein' wild mad over the Doc. I don't suppose she had any idea how her face changed when him and her was together; of course she couldn't of, or she'd of kept away from him. And she didn't know that we was all noticin' how many times she made excuses to go up to his office or pass it on the other side of the street and look up in his window to see if he was there. I felt sorry for her and so did most other people.
Hod Meyers kept rubbin' it into Jim about how the Doc had cut him out. Jim didn't pay no attention to the kiddie' and you could see he was plannin' one of his jokes.
One trick Jim had was the knack of changin' his voice. He could make you think he was a girl talkie' and he could mimic any man's voice. To show you how good he was along this line, I'll tell you the joke he played on me once.
You know, in most towns of any size, when a man is dead and needs a shave, why the barber that shaves him soaks him five dollars for the job; that is, he don't soak him, but whoever ordered the shave. I just charge three dollars because personally I don't mind much shavin' a dead person. They lay a whole lot stiller than live customers. The only thing is that you don't feel like talkie' to them and you get kind of lonesome.
Well, about the coldest day we ever had here, two years ago last winter, the phone rung at the house w'ile I was home to dinner and I answered the phone and it was a woman's voice and she said she was Mrs. John Scott and her husband was dead and would I come out and shave him.
Old John had always been a good customer of mine. But they live seven miles out in the country, on the Streeter road. Still I didn't see how I could say no.
So I said I would be there, but would have to come in a jitney and it might cost three or four dollars besides the price of the shave. So she, or the voice, it said that was all right, so I got Frank Abbott to drive me out to the place and when I got there, who should open the door but old John himself! He wasn't no more dead than, well, than a rabbit.
It didn't take no private detective to figure out who had played me this little joke. Nobody could of thought it up but Jim Kendall. He certainly was a card!
I tell you this incident just to show you how he could disguise his voice and make you believe it was somebody else talkie'. I'd of swore it was Mrs. Scott had called me. Anyways, some woman.
Well, Jim waited till he had Doc Stair's voice down pat; then he went after revenge.
He called Julie up on a night when he knew Doc was over in Carterville. She never questioned but what it was Doc's voice. Jim said he must see her that night; he couldn't wait no longer to tell her somethin'. She was all excited and told him to come to the house. But he said he was expectin' an important long distance call and wouldn't she please forget her manners for once and come to his office. He said they couldn't nothin' hurt her and nobody would see her and he just must talk to her a little w'ile. Well, poor Julie fell for it.
Doc always keeps a night light in his office, so it looked to Julie like they was somebody there.
Meanw'ile Jim Kendall had went to Wright's poolroom, where they was a whole gang amusin' themselves. The most of them had drank plenty of gin, and they was a rough bunch even when sober. They was always strong for Jim's jokes and when he told them to come with him and see some fun they give up their card games and pool games and followed along.
Doc's office is on the second floor. Right outside his door they's a flight of stairs leadin' to the floor above. Jim and his gang hid in the dark behind these stairs.
Well, tulle come up to Doc's door and rung the bell and they was nothin' coin'. She rung it again and she rung it seven or eight times. Then she tried the door and found it locked. Then Jim made some kind of a noise and she heard it and waited a minute, and then she says, "Is that you, Ralph?" Ralph is Doc's first name.
They was no answer and it must of came to her all of a sudden that she'd been bunked. She pretty near fell downstairs and the whole gang after her. They chased her all the way home, hollerin', "Is that you, Ralph?" and "Oh, Ralphie, dear, is that you?" Jim says he couldn't holler it himself, as he was laughin' too hard.
Poor Julie! She didn't show up here on Main Street for a long, long time afterward.
And of course Jim and his gang told everybody in town, everybody but Doc Stair. They was scared to tell him, and he might of never knowed only for Paul Dickson. The poor cuckoo, as Jim called him, he was here in the shop one night when Jim was still gloatin' yet over what he'd done to Julie. And Paul took in as much of it as he could understand and he run to Doc with the story.
It's a cinch Doc went up in the air and swore he'd make Jim suffer. But it was a kind of a delicate thing, because if it got out that he had beat Jim up, Julie was bound to hear of it and then she'd know that Doc knew and of course knowin' that he knew would make it worse for her than ever. He was goin' to do somethin', but it took a lot of figurin'.
Well, it was a couple days later when Jim was here in the shop again, and so was the cuckoo. Jim was goin' duck-shootin' the next day and had come in lookin' for Hod Meyers to go with him. I happened to know that Hod had went over to Carterville and wouldn't be home till the end of the week. So Jim said he hated to go alone and he guessed he would call it off. Then poor Paul spoke up and said if Jim would take him he would go along. Jim thought a w'ile and then he said, well, he guessed a half-wit was better than nothin'.
I suppose he was plottin' to get Paul out in the boat and play some joke on him, like pushin' him in the water. Anyways, he said Paul could go. He asked him had he ever shot a duck and Paul said no, he'd never even had a gun in his hands. So Jim said he could set in the boat and watch him and if he behaved himself, he might lend him his gun for a couple of shots. They made a date to meet in the mornin' and that's the last I seen of Jim alive.
Next mornin', I hadn't been open more than ten minutes when Doc Stair come in. He looked kind of nervous. He asked me had I seen Paul Dickson. I said no, but I knew where he was, out duckshootin' with Jim Kendall. So Doc says that's what he had heard, and he couldn't understand it because Paul had told him he wouldn't never have no more to do with Jim as long as he lived.
He said Paul had told him about the joke Jim had played on Julie. He said Paul had asked him what he thought of the joke and the Doc told him that anybody that would do a thing like that ought not to be let live. I said it had been a kind of a raw thing, but Jim just couldn't resist no kind of a joke, no matter how raw. I said I thought he was all right at heart, but just bubblin' over with mischief. Doc turned and walked out.
At noon he got a phone call from old John Scott. The lake where Jim and Paul had went shootin' is on John's place. Paul had came runnin' up to the house a few minutes before and said they'd been an accident. Jim had shot a few ducks and then give the gun to Paul and told him to try his luck. Paul hadn't never handled a gun and he was nervous. He was shakin' so hard that he couldn't control the gun. He let fire and Jim sunk back in the boat, dead.
Doc Stair, bein' the coroner, jumped in Frank Abbott's flivver and rushed out to Scott's farm. Paul and old John was down on the shore of the lake. Paul had rowed the boat to shore, but they'd left the body in it, waiting for Doc to come.
Doc examined the body and said they might as well fetch it back to town. They was no use leavin' it there or callin' a jury, as it was a plain case of accidental shootin'.
Personally I wouldn't never leave a person shoot a gun in the same boat I was in unless I was sure they knew somethin' about guns. Jim was a sucker to leave a new beginner have his gun, let alone a half-wit. It probably served Jim right, what he got. But still we miss him round here. He certainly was a card! Comb it wet or dry?

THE ARABY

2010-12-08T04:23:00.001-08:00

North Richmond Street, being blind, was a quiet street except at the hour when the Christian Brothers' School set the boys free. An uninhabited house of two storeys stood at the blind end, detached from its neighbours in a square ground. The other houses of the street, conscious of decent lives within them, gazed at one another with brown imperturbable faces.
-----------------------------------

---------------------------
The former tenant of our house, a priest, had died in the back drawing-room. Air, musty from having been long enclosed, hung in all the rooms, and the waste room behind the kitchen was littered with old useless papers. Among these I found a few paper-covered books, the pages of which were curled and damp: The Abbot, by Walter Scott, The Devout Communicant, and The Memoirs of Vidocq. I liked the last best because its leaves were yellow. The wild garden behind the house contained a central apple-tree and a few straggling bushes, under one of which I found the late tenant's rusty bicycle-pump. He had been a very charitable priest; in his will he had left all his money to institutions and the furniture of his house to his sister.
-------------------------

------------------------------------------
When the short days of winter came, dusk fell before we had well eaten our dinners. When we met in the street the houses had grown sombre. The space of sky above us was the colour of ever-changing violet and towards it the lamps of the street lifted their feeble lanterns. The cold air stung us and we played till our bodies glowed. Our shouts echoed in the silent street. The career of our play brought us through the dark muddy lanes behind the houses, where we ran the gauntlet of the rough tribes from the cottages, to the back doors of the dark dripping gardens where odours arose from the ashpits, to the dark odorous stables where a coachman smoothed and combed the horse or shook music from the buckled harness. When we returned to the street, light from the kitchen windows had filled the areas. If my uncle was seen turning the corner, we hid in the shadow until we had seen him safely housed. Or if Mangan's sister came out on the doorstep to call her brother in to his tea, we watched her from our shadow peer up and down the street. We waited to see whether she would remain or go in and, if she remained, we left our shadow and walked up to Mangan's steps resignedly. She was waiting for us, her figure defined by the light from the half-opened door. Her brother always teased her before he obeyed, and I stood by the railings looking at her. Her dress swung as she moved her body, and the soft rope of her hair tossed from side to side.
Every morning I lay on the floor in the front parlour watching her door. The blind was pulled down to within an inch of the sash so that I could not be seen. When she came out on the doorstep my heart leaped. I ran to the hall, seized my books and followed her. I kept her brown figure always in my eye and, when we came near the point at which our ways diverged, I quickened my pace and passed her. This happened morning after morning. I had never spoken to her, except for a few casual words, and yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood.
-------------------

--------------------------------------
Her image accompanied me even in places the most hostile to romance. On Saturday evenings when my aunt went marketing I had to go to carry some of the parcels. We walked through the flaring streets, jostled by drunken men and bargaining women, amid the curses of labourers, the shrill litanies of shop-boys who stood on guard by the barrels of pigs' cheeks, the nasal chanting of street-singers, who sang a come-all-you about O'Donovan Rossa, or a ballad about the troubles in our native land. These noises converged in a single sensation of life for me: I imagined that I bore my chalice safely through a throng of foes. Her name sprang to my lips at moments in strange prayers and praises which I myself did not understand. My eyes were often full of tears (I could not tell why) and at times a flood from my heart seemed to pour itself out into my bosom. I thought little of the future. I did not know whether I would ever speak to her or not or, if I spoke to her, how I could tell her of my confused adoration. But my body was like a harp and her words and gestures were like fingers running upon the wires.
One evening I went into the back drawing-room in which the priest had died. It was a dark rainy evening and there was no sound in the house. Through one of the broken panes I heard the rain impinge upon the earth, the fine incessant needles of water playing in the sodden beds. Some distant lamp or lighted window gleamed below me. I was thankful that I could see so little. All my senses seemed to desire to veil themselves and, feeling that I was about to slip from them, I pressed the palms of my hands together until they trembled, murmuring: `O love! O love!' many times.
At last she spoke to me. When she addressed the first words to me I was so confused that I did not know what to answer. She asked me was I going to Araby. I forgot whether I answered yes or no. It would be a splendid bazaar; she said she would love to go.
--------------------------------

Custom Search

----------------------------
`And why can't you?' I asked.
While she spoke she turned a silver bracelet round and round her wrist. She could not go, she said, because there would be a retreat that week in her convent. Her brother and two other boys were fighting for their caps, and I was alone at the railings. She held one of the spikes, bowing her head towards me. The light from the lamp opposite our door caught the white curve of her neck, lit up her hair that rested there and, falling, lit up the hand upon the railing. It fell over one side of her dress and caught the white border of a petticoat, just visible as she stood at ease.
`It's well for you,' she said.
`If I go,' I said, `I will bring you something.'
What innumerable follies laid waste my waking and sleeping thoughts after that evening! I wished to annihilate the tedious intervening days. I chafed against the work of school. At night in my bedroom and by day in the classroom her image came between me and the page I strove to read. The syllables of the word Araby were called to me through the silence in which my soul luxuriated and cast an Eastern enchantment over me. I asked for leave to go to the bazaar on Saturday night. My aunt was surprised, and hoped it was not some Freemason affair. I answered few questions in class. I watched my master's face pass from amiability to sternness; he hoped I was not beginning to idle. I could not call my wandering thoughts together. I had hardly any patience with the serious work of life which, now that it stood between me and my desire, seemed to me child's play, ugly monotonous child's play.
On Saturday morning I reminded my uncle that I wished to go to the bazaar in the evening. He was fussing at the hallstand, looking for the hat-brush, and answered me curtly:
`Yes, boy, I know.'
As he was in the hall I could not go into the front parlour and lie at the window. I felt the house in bad humour and walked slowly towards the school. The air was pitilessly raw and already my heart misgave me.
When I came home to dinner my uncle had not yet been home. Still it was early. I sat staring at the clock for some time and, when its ticking began to irritate me, I left the room. I mounted the staircase and gained the upper part of the house. The high, cold, empty, gloomy rooms liberated me and I went from room to room singing. From the front window I saw my companions playing below in the street. Their cries reached me weakened and indistinct and, leaning my forehead against the cool glass, I looked over at the dark house where she lived. I may have stood there for an hour, seeing nothing but the brown-clad figure cast by my imagination, touched discreetly by the lamplight at the curved neck, at the hand upon the railings and at the border below the dress.
When I came downstairs again I found Mrs Mercer sitting at the fire. She was an old, garrulous woman, a pawnbroker's widow, who collected used stamps for some pious purpose. I had to endure the gossip of the tea-table. The meal was prolonged beyond an hour and still my uncle did not come. Mrs Mercer stood up to go: she was sorry she couldn't wait any longer, but it was after eight o'clock and she did not like to be out late, as the night air was bad for her. When she had gone I began to walk up and down the room, clenching my fists. My aunt said:
`I'm afraid you may put off your bazaar for this night of Our Lord.'
At nine o'clock I heard my uncle's latchkey in the hall door. I heard him talking to himself and heard the hallstand rocking when it had received the weight of his overcoat. I could interpret these signs. When he was midway through his dinner I asked him to give me the money to go to the bazaar. He had forgotten.
`The people are in bed and after their first sleep now,' he said.
I did not smile. My aunt said to him energetically:
`Can't you give him the money and let him go? You've kept him late enough as it is.'
My uncle said he was very sorry he had forgotten. He said he believed in the old saying: `All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.' He asked me where I was going and, when I told him a second time, he asked me did I know The Arab's Farewell to his Steed. When I left the kitchen he was about to recite the opening lines of the piece to my aunt.
I held a florin tightly in my hand as I strode down Buckingham Street towards the station. The sight of the streets thronged with buyers and glaring with gas recalled to me the purpose of my journey. I took my seat in a third-class carriage of a deserted train. After an intolerable delay the train moved out of the station slowly. It crept onward among ruinous houses and over the twinkling river. At Westland Row Station a crowd of people pressed to the carriage doors; but the porters moved them back, saying that it was a special train for the bazaar. I remained alone in the bare carriage. In a few minutes the train drew up beside an improvised wooden platform. I passed out on to the road and saw by the lighted dial of a clock that it was ten minutes to ten. In front of me was a large building which displayed the magical name.
I could not find any sixpenny entrance and, fearing that the bazaar would be closed, I passed in quickly through a turnstile, handing a shilling to a weary-looking man. I found myself in a big hall girded at half its height by a gallery. Nearly all the stalls were closed and the greater part of the hall was in darkness. I recognized a silence like that which pervades a church after a service. I walked into the centre of the bazaar timidly. A few people were gathered about the stalls which were still open. Before a curtain, over which the words Café Chantant were written in coloured lamps, two men were counting money on a salver. I listened to the fall of the coins.
Remembering with difficulty why I had come, I went over to one of the stalls and examined porcelain vases and flowered tea-sets. At the door of the stall a young lady was talking and laughing with two young gentlemen. I remarked their English accents and listened vaguely to their conversation.
`O, I never said such a thing!'
`O, but you did!'
`O, but I didn't!'
`Didn't she say that?'
`Yes. I heard her.'
`O, there's a... fib!'
Observing me, the young lady came over and asked me did I wish to buy anything. The tone of her voice was not encouraging; she seemed to have spoken to me out of a sense of duty. I looked humbly at the great jars that stood like eastern guards at either side of the dark entrance to the stall and murmured:
`No, thank you.'
The young lady changed the position of one of the vases and went back to the two young men. They began to talk of the same subject. Once or twice the young lady glanced at me over her shoulder.
I lingered before her stall, though I knew my stay was useless, to make my interest in her wares seem the more real. Then I turned away slowly and walked down the middle of the bazaar. I allowed the two pennies to fall against the sixpence in my pocket. I heard a voice call from one end of the gallery that the light was out. The upper part of the hall was now completely dark.
Gazing up into the darkness I saw myself as a creature driven and derided by vanity; and my eyes burned with anguish and anger.

THE DOG

2010-12-06T05:24:00.000-08:00

A child was standing on a street-corner. He leaned with one shoulder against a high board-fence and swayed the other to and fro, the while kicking carelessly at the gravel.
Sunshine beat upon the cobbles, and a lazy summer wind raised yellow dust which trailed in clouds down the avenue. Clattering trucks moved with indistinctness through it. The child stood dreamily gazing.
----------------------------------

-----------------------------------------

After a time, a little dark-brown dog came trotting with an intent air down the sidewalk. A short rope was dragging from his neck. Occasionally he trod upon the end of it and stumbled.
He stopped opposite the child, and the two regarded each other. The dog hesitated for a moment, but presently he made some little advances with his tail. The child put out his hand and called him. In an apologetic manner the dog came close, and the two had an interchange of friendly pattings and waggles. The dog became more enthusiastic with each moment of the interview, until with his gleeful caperings he threatened to overturn the child. Whereupon the child lifted his hand and struck the dog a blow upon the head.
This thing seemed to overpower and astonish the little dark-brown dog, and wounded him to the heart. He sank down in despair at the child's feet. When the blow was repeated, together with an admonition in childish sentences, he turned over upon his back, and held his paws in a peculiar manner. At the same time with his ears and his eyes he offered a small prayer to the child.
---------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------
He looked so comical on his back, and holding his paws peculiarly, that the child was greatly amused and gave him little taps repeatedly, to keep him so. But the little dark-brown dog took this chastisement in the most serious way, and no doubt considered that he had committed some grave crime, for he wriggled contritely and showed his repentance in every way that was in his power. He pleaded with the child and petitioned him, and offered more prayers.
At last the child grew weary of this amusement and turned toward home. The dog was praying at the time. He lay on his back and turned his eyes upon the retreating form.
Presently he struggled to his feet and started after the child. The latter wandered in a perfunctory way toward his home, stopping at times to investigate various matters. During one of these pauses he discovered the little dark-brown dog who was following him with the air of a footpad.
The child beat his pursuer with a small stick he had found. The dog lay down and prayed until the child had finished, and resumed his journey. Then he scrambled erect and took up the pursuit again.
-------------------------------

---------------------------------------------
On the way to his home the child turned many times and beat the dog, proclaiming with childish gestures that he held him in contempt as an unimportant dog, with no value save for a moment. For being this quality of animal the dog apologized and eloquently expressed regret, but he continued stealthily to follow the child. His manner grew so very guilty that he slunk like an assassin.
When the child reached his door-step, the dog was industriously ambling a few yards in the rear. He became so agitated with shame when he again confronted the child that he forgot the dragging rope. He tripped upon it and fell forward.

The child sat down on the step and the two had another interview. During it the dog greatly exerted himself to please the child. He performed a few gambols with such abandon that the child suddenly saw him to be a valuable thing. He made a swift, avaricious charge and seized the rope.
He dragged his captive into a hall and up many long stairways in a dark tenement. The dog made willing efforts, but he could not hobble very skilfully up the stairs because he was very small and soft, and at last the pace of the engrossed child grew so energetic that the dog became panic-stricken. In his mind he was being dragged toward a grim unknown. His eyes grew wild with the terror of it. He began to wiggle his head frantically and to brace his legs.
-------------------------------------------

Custom Search

-----------------------
The child redoubled his exertions. They had a battle on the stairs. The child was victorious because he was completely absorbed in his purpose, and because the dog was very small. He dragged his acquirement to the door of his home, and finally with triumph across the threshold.
No one was in. The child sat down on the floor and made overtures to the dog. These the dog instantly accepted. He beamed with affection upon his new friend. In a short time they were firm and abiding comrades.
When the child's family appeared, they made a great row. The dog was examined and commented upon and called names. Scorn was leveled at him from all eyes, so that he became much embarrassed and drooped like a scorched plant. But the child went sturdily to the center of the floor, and, at the top of his voice, championed the dog. It happened that he was roaring protestations, with his arms clasped about the dog's neck, when the father of the family came in from work.
The parent demanded to know what the blazes they were making the kid howl for. It was explained in many words that the infernal kid wanted to introduce a disreputable dog into the family.
A family council was held. On this depended the dog's fate, but he in no way heeded, being busily engaged in chewing the end of the child's dress.
The affair was quickly ended. The father of the family, it appears, was in a particularly savage temper that evening, and when he perceived that it would amaze and anger everybody if such a dog were allowed to remain, he decided that it should be so. The child, crying softly, took his friend off to a retired part of the room to hobnob with him, while the father quelled a fierce rebellion of his wife. So it came to pass that the dog was a member of the household.
He and the child were associated together at all times save when the child slept. The child became a guardian and a friend. If the large folk kicked the dog and threw things at him, the child made loud and violent objections. Once when the child had run, protesting loudly, with tears raining down his face and his arms outstretched, to protect his friend, he had been struck in the head with a very large saucepan from the hand of his father, enraged at some seeming lack of courtesy in the dog. Ever after, the family were careful how they threw things at the dog. Moreover, the latter grew very skilful in avoiding missiles and feet. In a small room containing a stove, a table, a bureau and some chairs, he would display strategic ability of a high order, dodging, feinting and scuttling about among the furniture. He could force three or four people armed with brooms, sticks and handfuls of coal, to use all their ingenuity to get in a blow. And even when they did, it was seldom that they could do him a serious injury or leave any imprint.
But when the child was present, these scenes did not occur. It came to be recognized that if the dog was molested, the child would burst into sobs, and as the child, when started, was very riotous and practically unquenchable, the dog had therein a safeguard.
However, the child could not always be near. At night, when he was asleep, his dark-brown friend would raise from some black corner a wild, wailful cry, a song of infinite lowliness and despair, that would go shuddering and sobbing among the buildings of the block and cause people to swear. At these times the singer would often be chased all over the kitchen and hit with a great variety of articles.
Sometimes, too, the child himself used to beat the dog, although it is not known that he ever had what could be truly called a just cause. The dog always accepted these thrashings with an air of admitted guilt. He was too much of a dog to try to look to be a martyr or to plot revenge. He received the blows with deep humility, and furthermore he forgave his friend the moment the child had finished, and was ready to caress the child's hand with his little red tongue.
When misfortune came upon the child, and his troubles overwhelmed him, he would often crawl under the table and lay his small distressed head on the dog's back. The dog was ever sympathetic. It is not to be supposed that at such times he took occasion to refer to the unjust beatings his friend, when provoked, had administered to him.
He did not achieve any notable degree of intimacy with the other members of the family. He had no confidence in them, and the fear that he would express at their casual approach often exasperated them exceedingly. They used to gain a certain satisfaction in underfeeding him, but finally his friend the child grew to watch the matter with some care, and when he forgot it, the dog was often successful in secret for himself.
So the dog prospered. He developed a large bark, which came wondrously from such a small rug of a dog. He ceased to howl persistently at night. Sometimes, indeed, in his sleep, he would utter little yells, as from pain, but that occurred, no doubt, when in his dreams he encountered huge flaming dogs who threatened him direfully.
His devotion to the child grew until it was a sublime thing. He wagged at his approach; he sank down in despair at his departure. He could detect the sound of the child's step among all the noises of the neighborhood. It was like a calling voice to him.
The scene of their companionship was a kingdom governed by this terrible potentate, the child; but neither criticism nor rebellion ever lived for an instant in the heart of the one subject. Down in the mystic, hidden fields of his little dog-soul bloomed flowers of love and fidelity and perfect faith.

The child was in the habit of going on many expeditions to observe strange things in the vicinity. On these occasions his friend usually jogged aimfully along behind. Perhaps, though, he went ahead. This necessitated his turning around every quarter-minute to make sure the child was coming. He was filled with a large idea of the importance of these journeys. He would carry himself with such an air! He was proud to be the retainer of so great a monarch.
One day, however, the father of the family got quite exceptionally drunk. He came home and held carnival with the cooking utensils, the furniture and his wife. He was in the midst of this recreation when the child, followed by the dark-brown dog, entered the room. They were returning from their voyages.
The child's practised eye instantly noted his father's state. He dived under the table, where experience had taught him was a rather safe place. The dog, lacking skill in such matters, was, of course, unaware of the true condition of affairs. He looked with interested eyes at his friend's sudden dive. He interpreted it to mean: Joyous gambol. He started to patter across the floor to join him. He was the picture of a little dark-brown dog en route to a friend.
The head of the family saw him at this moment. He gave a huge howl of joy, and knocked the dog down with a heavy coffee-pot. The dog, yelling in supreme astonishment and fear, writhed to his feet and ran for cover. The man kicked out with a ponderous foot. It caused the dog to swerve as if caught in a tide. A second blow of the coffee-pot laid him upon the floor.
Here the child, uttering loud cries, came valiantly forth like a knight. The father of the family paid no attention to these calls of the child, but advanced with glee upon the dog. Upon being knocked down twice in swift succession, the latter apparently gave up all hope of escape. He rolled over on his back and held his paws in a peculiar manner. At the same time with his eyes and his ears he offered up a small prayer.
But the father was in a mood for having fun, and it occurred to him that it would be a fine thing to throw the dog out of the window. So he reached down and grabbing the animal by a leg, lifted him, squirming, up. He swung him two or three times hilariously about his head, and then flung him with great accuracy through the window.

The soaring dog created a surprise in the block. A woman watering plants in an opposite window gave an involuntary shout and dropped a flower-pot. A man in another window leaned perilously out to watch the flight of the dog. A woman, who had been hanging out clothes in a yard, began to caper wildly. Her mouth was filled with clothes-pins, but her arms gave vent to a sort of exclamation. In appearance she was like a gagged prisoner. Children ran whooping.
The dark-brown body crashed in a heap on the roof of a shed five stories below. From thence it rolled to the pavement of an alleyway.
The child in the room far above burst into a long, dirgelike cry, and toddled hastily out of the room. It took him a long time to reach the alley, because his size compelled him to go downstairs backward, one step at a time, and holding with both hands to the step above.

CATS

2010-12-04T18:51:00.001-08:00

One day there were three cats. A white cat, a black cat, and a brown cat. The white cat said "I'm bored. I don't have anyone to play with." The black cat said "I'm bored. I don't have anyone to play with." The brown cat said "I'm bored. I don't have anyone to play with." So they decided to meet at the park. When they got there, they didn't know what to do. The brown cat wanted to roll in the mud, but the black cat wanted to roll in some coal, but the white cat wanted to chase birds. So they had to agree on something. So they agreed to go for a walk. On their way walk they saw a man fixing the phone wires, a man fixing the road, and a man painting his house green. So they stopped walking and started watching him. When he went in to have lunch they knocked over all the paint right on them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

LINK ADS-------------

---------------------------------

------------------------------

--------------------------------------------
When they got home their owners didn't recognize them, so they met at the park again. The black cat said "We need to think of a way to get in our homes." While they were thinking the black cat thought of a way to get in their homes, to rinse themselves off in the river. So she said " We could wash ourselves in the river and get the paint off of us so that our owners will recognize us." So that's what they did but when they got out they were wet. But when they got home their owners recognized them. The owners were happy to see their cats and the cats were happy to see their owners.

--------------------------------

-----------------

FAIRY LAND

2010-12-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there were two little kids named Jesse and Mary Sue. They were brother and sister. Their mom and dad had divorced years ago. And their dad now was seeing someone else. She was cruel to them behind their father’s back. She said if they got married, she would make their life’s miserable from the moment she said I do”. One day their dad called them into his room. When they got in there he told them to sit on the bed, then he said “there’s going to be a new member in the family and a lot of changes too. What I’m trying to say is I’m getting married”. “What”, they said. "Quite the surprise isn’t it?" said their father. Father you can’t it’ll ruin our family tree said Jesse. Well I’m sorry kids but I love her, before their father could say anything more they ran out of the house and let the door slam behind them.
------------------------------

------------------------------------

After walking a while, they finally stopped and realized they were a long way from home in a part of the neighborhood they had never seen before. There were fairies as beautiful as princesses’ birds with the rainbow colors on their feathers all different kinds of animals, beautiful butterflies and the most unexpected fairies they thought they’d only see fairies in there Fairy Tale books.
It soon became dark, Jesse and Mary Sue had fallen asleep on a rock. When Jesse and Mary Sue woke up in the morning, they saw that all the animals were lying next to them. After they’d been there a while the animals bird and fairies started asking how they found their way there. The children told the truth, they said they’d gotten mad that their father was getting married to a women they didn’t like so they ran away and when they stopped they were there. After telling them that the animals said they were glad they found their way because now they had someone to play with.
Then they introduced the princess of the fairies, her name was Patty. Her dad, the king of the fairies, called her Patty the Pooh. She was very pretty, she had short Blonde hair with a crown made out of gold and an outfit fit for a princess. The princess said she had good news, one of the fairies was going to have a baby fairy. Everyone congratulated her. Then she went on, we found out a few weeks ago but we didn’t want to jinx it. Everyone congratulated her again and went to bed. The next morning she had the baby. She decided to name her Julia. When she turned one and was able to walk Jesse and Mary Sue were still there. It was Saturday when Jesse and Mary Sue were about to leave and then they heard a familiar voice and decided to stay for another night.
---------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------
Early in the morning the next day, they heard it again so they got out of bed to see were it was coming from, but on there way out of Fairyland, they woke up. Julia liked to go on adventures so, of course, she wanted to come with them. So the three went to see were the voice was coming from, they followed the voice to a cave and peeked inside. Jesse and Mary Sue could not believe what they saw. It was their step mom, she was talking to someone but they weren’t sure whom it was. Julia knew who it was.
Mary Sue and Jesse asked Julia who their step-mom was talking to. It’s the demon, she replied, he has a son too.   When he gets older he’ll do what his dads doing, His dad is very evil. Years ago everybody in fairyland challenged him. They said whoever won got the land and the other person had to go some were else. And the demon lost so he had to move out here. But why would our step-mom be talking to him that sounds really weird. Maybe she’s a demon too, said Jesse. No I don’t think that could happen, said Julia, but maybe because nobody knows who's the little demons mother. Julia continued, we have to get home and warn daddy, Mary Sue said.
------------------------------

----------------------------------------------
        So the next morning they told everyone they had to go, they had to go warn their dad. So they said their goodbyes and were off but then Julia’s mom stopped them and asked if they would take Julia with them, they said they would and then her mom continued, it would be the biggest adventure she ever had. Then Julia thanked her mom and her mom thanked Jesse and Mary Sue and then they told them they would be back soon and then they left fairyland.
Now Julia knew this was going to be the biggest adventure she ever had because she’d never been this far out of fairyland before and she was excited. Jesse and Mary Sue told her that when they were at their house she has to hide and Julia agreed. So when they arrived, Julia did as she was told and hid behind a plant in the living room. In their father’s room they were telling him about who they had seen and were they had seen her, of course, their father, who found this a little hard to believe, welcomed them with open arms but then said I think you two are sick. Come and lay down a while.
Dad! They both said we’re not sick, we really saw her. How could you if she was right here by me the whole time you were gone. The only time she left was when she went to the store and got groceries. We don’t under stand, where is she now she went to get groceries. Fairyland! They both said at the exacted same time. They both ran out the door with Julia following behind them but this time their dad followed them, hoping he would find out what was going on.

@import url(http://www.google.com/cse/api/branding.css);

Custom Search

---------------------------------------
src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKvoJBsYZey2sBlq0cswlgmq9EJcq7Qf_pQZGYYXv_m6C3sJu-UG7ISzpi3y0KmnfRZjcFVFujkYAMvK4CF1C3KLCqhO5qj_IlF4_p85JkywLRttACfsQXBSoyytG2kQOkh6qsCxRVWBLW/s1600/GYTF.gif" />As soon as they got there and the dad had a chance to catch up he asked them what was going on, they said that they would explain again later. Then they went to the cave were they had seen her but she wasn’t there. Now their father was beginning to think this was all a joke. When he saw their step mom and his future wife, she was coming out of a secret passage in the cave. Then all four of them went back to the fairies and asked them if they knew about it. The fairy’s said no except one. He said he’d been trying to find out what was

The door then opened and Mary Sue clinched onto Jesse’s hand so hard it was turning red, the pass way looked like fairyland except there were no fairies. Then! They saw it a golden door but it had a keyhole. Where would they find a key that big, they were puzzled so they sat down to think. Then they all decided to go back to fairyland but when they said the magic password someone they had not been warned about spotted them. He grabbed them by they’re arms and made them walk with him, they tried to escape but he wouldn’t let go. He was the demon’s companion his name was Alfred but everyone called him Al.
He took them to the demon who was being carried on a mattress and all he was doing was eating grapes and giving all the girls he’s phone number, not very impressive if you ask me. Then finally after stuffing a handful of grapes in he’s mouth he said I thought you’d be coming here soon after I saw you two spying on me and that kind lady I was talking to. "She's our step mom and she’s not kind at all."
I never knew kids could be so rude to someone who truly loves them, take them away, take them away said the demon I can’t stand them any longer. Jesse, Mary Sue and they’re Father were handcuffed to a shelf in a closet. Julia was locked in a cage in the corner of the closet but you couldn’t see her because a shirt was covering her. "Maybe there’s a secret hiding place the Demon puts a key in to unlock and lock the door", "Good idea." Julia said. Mary Sue started looking for a piece of wood that would come out of the wall with the one hand that wasn’t handcuffed.
Soon it was late and she still hadn’t found anything and in no time she fell asleep along with her brother, her dad and Julia. In the morning when Mary Sue woke up she accidentally hit the wall when she was stretching. Hey guys, I think I found something she said. It was a loose board, when the board fell out there was a big key behind it. This looks like a key for something very important I’ll put it in my pocket. I think I know what that important thing is, let’s go.

So they went back to where they had last seen the demon and again found him laying down being feed grapes by all the girls. When they saw him they said we know your plan and we have the key you hid in the room you locked us in "but I have a spare, did you actually think I’d put the key in the same room I locked you in with out a spare", said the demon. While the demon was talking Julia had came up with an idea of her own and was already starting it. She slipped behind the demon and knocked the key out of his hand.
"Actually I did" she said just catching the key in her hand and now that I have both keys your plan is history she added and “we’re off to save fairyland”. Not so fast said the demon, "did you really think I’d fall for that too?" as two guards stepped out from behind the bushes. They were tall demons even taller then the demon and himself. Julia, Mary sue, Jesse and their father all ran as fast as they could, then they saw a cave and ran but it didn’t take to long for the guards to sniff them out, they came running after them.
Then Julia, Jesse, his sister and their dad saw a waterfall, they took their only chance and jumped with a deep breath, but of course Julia flew. When they landed, they swam to the surface and realized they were back where they started at the big door. They put the key in and all the sudden the demon came but they opened the door and they hurried in, before the demon could catch them.
Then all the sudden they know what to do, they said the magic words which were “open pass way” and then they picked a magic flower and put it in the pot they saw in the middle of the room and the flower turned into a liquid which they poured on the demon, his son which turned them into who they where before. The demon was the fairy prince, his son was a normal kid and the guards were mice. As for they’re step mom well this effected her too she came out as a kind lady and said hi I’m sorry if was mean to you before the demon which is now the fairy prince had me under a evil spell, they all forgave her.

FUNNY JOKES

2010-12-02T07:08:00.000-08:00

FUNNY JOKE

------------------------------------

-----------------------------

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Now is the time for all men to come to the aid of their country."
---------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Hi, welcome to McDonald's."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am but one soldier in a holy war."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I think I'm in love."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The facts of mathematics are verified and presented by the axiomatic method."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Maybe you've never seen a wildcat or a weasel."
---------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I think Bill is a serial killer, maybe."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Oh no . . . Not ANOTHER breathalyzer . . ."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Pissing in the bath is disgusting."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I just ran over a family of rats."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Look, a dead bird."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Which way is the border?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"MY SHOELACES, AAAUUGH!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Let me pour forth my tears."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You have had the audacity to take on human form and you are delighted."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Kids say the darndest things!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I don't make deals."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"If you shave a monkey, she looks just like a human."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"In the northern darkness there is a fish."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Severe constipation can kill an elephant."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I stepped in a bear trap."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Where did Mom go this afternoon?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I've never had champagne before!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"What is a pencil?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm comfortable with who I am."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Boy, would I really like to hurt someone."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm feeling a lot of anxiety."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We're number one."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Remove the penis."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Oh by the way did you guys watch on FOX the other night that fantastic porno sci-fi flick…"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"What crime have I committed against heaven?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Don't you think Flanders is a big jerk?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Mathematicians have developed habits of communication that are often dysfunctional."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I believe in non-violence."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I had an experience in 1976 with a very short green being."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"No soup for you, Sammy Sosa."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh…..goooodddddd…..oohhhhhh…."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We should be grateful."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I choose to smoke."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This is earth."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm in good health."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Let's go on the bus together."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Wanna play house?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The current system of education produces an army of robots rather than an army of thinkers."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The earth is certainly vast and broad, though a man uses no more of it than the area he puts his feet on."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I've got to get your phone number."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"To use a horse to show that a horse is not a horse is not as good as using a non-horse to show that a horse is not a horse."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I think the cops are here."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You know, I'd rather eat a sandwich."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I shot myself with a gun and then sued the gun company."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The most cost-effective medication is the one that works best for the patient."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I've forgotten benevolence and righteousness!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Once upon a time there was a smoldering Scorpio who pined obsessively for the object of his desire."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There's something special about specialists . . ."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I want you to meet my parents."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Jack, you sure do carry a lot of marijuana for personal use."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I was playing outside with my brother and three friends in the front yard of my folks, when we saw three silver disc-shaped objects flying over the house."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Umm are nuns allowed to have sex???"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Would you like to hear a lecture on the dead?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I will start by giving you a short explanation of petroleum geology."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Would you like a piece of cheese?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We make a great team."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Soon the wait will be over."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Some bastard stole the front wheel of my bicycle."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The small child stood there happily sniffing a handful of flowers–all the roses from my garden."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I won!"
------------------------------------------------------

Custom Search

-----------------------------
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Bouillabaisse!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Two souls, alas, dwell in my breast, and each seeks to rule without the other."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Blueberries as big as quarters!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Seeing you makes my inner labia moist with love lava."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The mayor is well thought of."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Uncle Ike, a doctor, smoked too much even though he continued to warn his patients not to smoke."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Matt always orders anchovy pizza."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Colon cancer kills 56,300 Americans a year."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Love can be magical, but it doesn't happen on its own."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"In 1997, biologists discovered more than 16,000 minute species in caves in Spain."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Chalk one up on the BM chart."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Did I tell you I'm moving out?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am mother nature."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Gentlemen prefer blondes."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"My 27-year-old daughter recently got engaged to a great guy from Cleveland."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Your life has a limit but knowledge has none."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You know what happened to the Romans?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"That's no infant."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There are five basic forces at work in the internet tax question."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Virtue is the establishment of perfect harmony."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"It's regrettable that an anniversary of national anguish has been commandeered by the Clinton-Gore administration and many in the national media to advance their political agenda."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There is no evidence of anything sexual."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I received life because the time had come; I will lose it because the order of things passes on."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I will now explain what I think is a reasonable scenario."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Hey there people, I'm Bobby Brown."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm no good at math."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The only animals in this house are cats."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Answer me or I'll have you debrained!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Do you have any children?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"In 1918, the Bureau of Reclamation submitted a report."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We're getting farther and farther away from France."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Is this a type of criminal action?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Green is the color of hope."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We'll inflict severe punishment when we have more leisure."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"How did you become familiar with this reputation of ours in the community?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The creature may not be dead yet."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You have heard of the knowledge that knows, but you have never heard of the knowledge that does not know."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Well, I don't run the biology department."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"American folklore has created a number of important national heroes, among them Abraham Lincoln."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm so hungry."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Nostalgia really sucks."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Hi ho Silver!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I don't think this picture was taken from the rear bedroom window."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Oh, its so late, we should be getting home."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The Catholic Church went to hell about three or four centuries ago."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You know this doesn't mean I love you."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Our loving hearts and warm happy family await your newborn."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Why Martha . . . Your Sunday chapel dress!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Are the Miranda warnings required by the Constitution, or are they merely safeguards?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"What the hell do you mean screaming up the stairs at me like that?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"It is easy to cheat when you work for men, but hard to cheat when you work for heaven."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"A cocoon-shaped shell of galaxies about 650 million light-years across is the largest structure found in the Universe to date."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Bing-bing-bong-BOOM!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There are six stages along the mystic path."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There you are, my pet."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I saw some pigs nursing at the body of their dead mother."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm a doctor of the soul."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"GOOD GRIEF–IT'S DADDY!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I been to three county fairs and a goat-fuckin' and I ain't never seen the like of that."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Why, you small-time, chiseling bastard, you."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Please give this a chance."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Is there such a thing as supreme happiness in the world or isn't there?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I think you've got the wrong person here."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Holy frigging God, what ecstacy!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Nothing is more dangerous than an accomplice."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I much prefer you to a man!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"In March 1998, scientists at Tsukuba and Tokyo universities created insect robots by fusing the antennae of silkmoths with wheeled robots containing electronic ‘brains.'"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Who ARE you guys?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"One must have principles in matters of love."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"One ball, one strike."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You're not human."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You little bastard."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Look, you're a professional."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I truly believe that you have the… true insight, the true wisdom, the true feeling, and I believe you know my great need of you!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"My cholesterol is very high."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"What's your name, pal?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Here comes Roger Maris."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I don't think I'll ever understand your family."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Nngghh! Gaah!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This pencil is five inches long."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We all live like cockroaches in the crevices of our twisted imagination."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I hope my reputation will be founded upon my new deeds."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Come here, little one, I'd whip thee a bit."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You want a night's lodging?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"ARE ALIENS GREEN?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You have acted nobly."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Why did you do that to my poor little boy?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Run or you'll be shot!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I can't see."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Shall I fix us some coffee?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This is very interesting."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I want to make an inquiry if I might."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You will call me, won't you?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I want to give myself to you."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Well, I can't condone thievery."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Cleveland is so much like Buffalo."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Mmmph."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"So, anyway, here we are, and I don't know how to proceed from here, frankly."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Would you like to get together Saturday night?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"More and more residences appear to be developed more for automobiles than their human occupants."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I won't learn from you!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There's a rumor someone drowned in the sewer."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"It is not the season for love."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"My great-grandfather is the man in the photograph."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This isn't science as far as I'm concerned."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"All former customers are welcome."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I feel a little low, you know what I mean?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I want to teach botany."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I can't entirely hide my passion from you."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Take me to the nurse."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm not a demon; I'm possessed by a demon."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Is America's willingness to use force against Iraq just a continuation of previous policies?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"From the point of view of function, if we regard a thing as useful because there is a certain usefulness to it, then among all the ten thousand things there are none that are not useful."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You like to do drugs?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm going to kill you."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"To have the leader of the free world be persecuted in a public arena does nothing for the country."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I went to my family doctor first and he suggested I see you."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am heartbroken."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This is not a crime."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Whoa, am I dead?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm a little nervous, would you mind if I took off my shoes?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have garlic if you want to borrow some."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Biotechnology is reshaping space."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"In a revolution, many things must be done."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I know that bad things happen to good people."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Basketball has given me every single thing in my life -- everything."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Why don't we make another appointment next week?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"You can't have the police knocking on the door at three o'clock in the morning, taking sixteen and seventeen-year-old girls to camps outside of town without laying the basis for assassination."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Welcome to my house."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"It just sucks getting old."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Don't underestimate AT&T."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Please leave me alone."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"The Statue of Liberty is an awe-inspiring national monument, symbolizing how America opened its arms to European immigrants."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am not your lawyer."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am your father."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm not a doctor."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm a national treasure."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Ted left a couple of hours ago."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"It's late here and I got a big golf game tomorrow."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have plenty of psychological debates with myself about the entities: are they really separate, are they aspects of me under the archetypal "other guy" image, are they aliens or ascended masters or… but really, I guess it doesn't matter."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"With two guns I could control that bay."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Oh, you've been to France?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I can't see the picnic tables."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I hear you snoring."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I've got a love for you that can only be cleaned up with a mop and bucket."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm so glad I'm not wearing my glasses."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I live in a city similar to other cities in the world."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"In many spider species the maternal relationship ends when the eggs are laid, and the mother never sees her young."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Everything is disposable, including people."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have a fork in my hand."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Two thousand years ago, a crew of members of the Kingdom of Heaven who are responsible for nurturing ‘gardens,' determined that a percentage of the human ‘plants' of the present civilization of this Garden (Earth) had developed enough that some of those bodies might be ready to be used as ‘containers' for soul deposits."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm not offering any credentials at this time."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"World reserves of uranium are more that adequate to satisfy reactor requirements to well beyond 2020."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This appears to be a result of my violent criminal history."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"We can engage in a struggle for a better future."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This is small potatoes."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Two thumbs up!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"This just does not hold water."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have redeeming qualities."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have an interest in animals."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have an idea about Sri Lanka."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Your hair's gotten so light."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Bob is touching me."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I have been married to a wonderful man for twenty-three years."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Napoleon Bonaparte's penis was removed at autopsy by a team of French and Belgium doctors and first put up for auction at Christie's in 1972."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Batter my heart, three-personed God."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Peyote rhymes with ‘Hey Jodie.'"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Punish me, baby."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Thank you all for coming."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"How many more children must this happen to before somebody chooses to do something about it?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"What do light blue and dark blue have in common?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am not an athlete anymore."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Prepare your neural pathways for transmutation."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I want a victim."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"One of the things that interests me at this particular moment is seahorses."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"There's no known antidote for the Sudanese red spitting cobra."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I am looking at the garden of earthly delights."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"When I came to I was in the hands of silent, unnameable surgeons."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"When the public finally realizes that they face a future of perpetual economic stagnation and decay due to the end of cheap oil, what's to prevent nuclear energy proponents from convincing them that nuclear energy promises the means of rescuing them from that fate?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"Horse and oxen have four feet."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"I'm here to fix the swimming pool."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
"From now on it will be possible to talk to you about the Great Principle."

BEST PLANS

2010-12-02T06:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the best planned crimes can go horribly wrong. Either by accident or stupidity. This is a list of the 10 most stupid thieves.
-------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------
1. Showing off your booty

Charles Taylor of Wichita, Kansas, was arrested for robbing a shoe store at knifepoint and stealing a $69 pair of size 10 1/2 tan hiking boots on December 18, 1996. At his trial, three months later, Taylor arrogantly rested his feet on the defence table. He was wearing a pair of size 10 1/2 tan hiking boots. The judge, James Fleetwood, was incredulous. ‘I leaned over and stared,’ he later said. ‘Surely nobody would be so stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial.’ But it turned out one person was that stupid. Taylor was convicted of aggravated robbery and sent back to jail in his stockinged feet.
--------------------------------------------

------------------------------------
2. Wrong Place, Wrong Time

On November 29, 1978, David Goodhall and two female accomplices entered a home supplies shop in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, intending to engage in a bit of shoplifting. After stuffing a pair of curtains into a plastic carrier bag, the threesome attempted to leave by separate exits. However, they were apprehended immediately by several store detectives. Goodhall and his cohorts had failed to notice that the shop, at that very moment, was hosting a convention of store detectives.

3. Checking Out

Eighteen year old Charles A. Meriweather broke into a home in Northwest Baltimore on the night of November 22-23, 1978, raped the woman who lived there, and then ransacked the house. When he discovered that she only had $11.50 in cash, he asked her “How do you pay your bills?”
She Replied, “By cheque” and he ordered her to write out a cheque for $30. He then changed his mind and upped it to $50.
“Who shall I make it out to?” asked the woman, a 34 year old government employee.
“Charles A. Meriweather,” said Charles A. Meriweather, adding, “It better not bounce or I’ll be back.”
-----------------------------------------

---------------------------------------
Meriweather was arrested several hours later.

4. Keep the Change
----------------------------

Custom Search

---------------------
In 1977, a thief in Southampton, England, came up with a clever method of robbing the cash register at a local supermarket. After collecting a basketful of groceries, he approached the checkout area and placed a £10 note on the counter. The grocery clerk took the bill and opened the cash register, at which point the thief snatched the contents and ran off. It turned out to be a bad deal for the thief, since the till contained only £4.37 and the thief ended up losing £5.63.

5. The Weld-planned Robbery

On the night of August 23-24, 1980, a well-organized gang of thieves began their raid on the safe of the leisure-center office in Chichester, Sussex, by stealing a speedboat. Using water skis to paddle across the lake, they picked up their equipment and paddled on to the office. However, what they thought were cutting tools turned out to be welding gear, and they soon managed to seal the safe completely shut. The next morning it took the office staff an hour to hammer and chisel the safe open again.

6. Who Was that Masked Man?

Clive Bunyan ran into a store in Cayton, near Scarborough, England, and forced the shop assistant to give him £157 from the till. Then he made his getaway on his motorbike. To hide his identity, Bunyan had worn his full face helmet as a mask. It was a smooth successful heist, except for one detail: he had forgotten that across his helmet, in inch-high letters, were the words, “Clive Bunyan – Driver”. Bunyan was arrested and ordered to pay for his crime by doing 200 hours of community service.

7. The Worst Lawyer

Twenty-five year old Marhshall George Cummings, Jr, of Tulsa, Oklahoma, was charged with attempted robbery in connection with a pure-snatching at a shopping center on October 14, 1976. During the trial the following January, Cummings chose to act as his own attorney. While cross-examining the victim, Cummings asked, “Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?” Cummings later decided to turn over his defence to a public defender, but it was too late. He was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison.

8. Big Mouth

Dennis Newton was on trial in 1985 for armed robbery in Oklahoma City. Assistant District Attorney Larry Jones asked one of the witnesses, the supervisor of the store that had been robbed, to identify the robber. When she pointed to the defendant, Newton jumped to his feet, accused the witness of lying, and said, “I should have blown your —ing head off!” After a moment of stunned silence, he added, “If I’d been the one that was there.” The jury sentenced Newton to 30 years in prison.

9. Wrong Fence

Stephen Le and two juvenile companions tried to break in to a parked pickup truck in Larkspur, California, on the night of September 27, 1989. But the owner caught them in the act, chased them, and hailed a police car. Le and one of his friends climbed a fence and ran. It soon became apparent that they had chosen the wrong fence – this one surrounded the property of San Quentin prison. The suspects were booked for investigation of auto burglary and trespassing on state property, although charges were never filed. “Nothing like this has ever happened here before,” said Lieutenant Cal White. “People just don’t break in to prison every day.”

10. Shooting Himself in the Foot

In February 2004, Carlos Henrique Auad of Petropolis, Brazil, broke into a bar near his home and stole a television set. A few nights later, Auad tried to break in to the same bar through the roof. This time, carrying a gun, he slipped and fell and shot himself in the right foot. Auad went straight home, but failed to notice that he left a trail of blood that led right to his door. He was arrested by police who found the television set.

Homeowners can rely on professional solutions like an ADT security system to keep burglars at bay.

The story of rabbit

2010-12-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

The story of rabbit

-------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------
It could be any hillside, any summer evening, anywhere in rural England. Front teeth nibble delicately at the short-cropped grass. Long ears jerk from side to side. Noses twitch. Whiskers quiver. Come too close, and the hillside freezes. The hundreds of ears swivel slowly and precisely in your direction: listening. One more step forward, and there is a thump, a flash of white, and a scampering of feet. Within an instant, the rabbits have gone, and the slopes are empty...

The European Rabbit was first discovered by the Phoenicians, back in 1000 BC. At the time, it was an unremarkable and rather localised animal, confined to the scrubland of Spain and surrounding areas of the western Mediterranean. Since then, it has conquered half the globe. There are tens of millions of rabbits throughout Europe, as well as in parts of North Africa, Australia, New Zealand, and South America. To pet owners, they are adorable fluffy creatures with delightful ears and a wide repertoire of endearing habits. To farmers, they are a menace, whose insatiable appetite costs world agriculture hundreds of millions of pounds every year. Wherever it goes, the rabbit is a loveable disaster. And it is a very, very successful one.

------------------------------------

href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYn-ahLHnHHMy6eIRLHbmB5FjvGTuYuCooc0aJu6daa2UwgRVhcmgb9DEAcbB0urq8xz61F2ZXPQj3ZY9WJBXjzfhMCd6dN_2yk-2SCvGe7_hMjvHPaqHTH6I_wcd7TTfTtx1BL-KVvLoG/s1600/SDDSDSEWEWE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">

The rabbit's world travels began with the Romans, who took it back to Italy with them as a source of food. Rabbit meat is tasty and high in protein, and in ancient times rabbit foetuses and newborn young were a particular delicacy. The Romans never brought their rabbits to Britain; that was left to the Normans, who regarded rabbit meat as a great luxury and set up warrens on many of their estates. The Normans took great care of these warrens, fencing them in (or even establishing them on offshore islands) to deter predators and poachers, laying down pipes to encourage their livestock to burrow and breed, and building raised mounds to ensure good drainage.

These practises persisted until the end of eighteenth century, when the need for commercial farmland and the exodus of rural workers to the cities caused most of the warrens to be abandoned or destroyed. Many of their occupants escaped. A new era of intensive agriculture had replaced Britain's damp medieval forest with ideal farmland habitat, and gamekeeping had all but exterminated many of the island's native predators. Not surprisingly, the rabbits in the wild multiplied rapidly. By 1950, there were a hundred million of them, and the damage they did was costing the country £50 million a year.

---------------------------------------

----------------------------------
This invasion of Britain was bad enough, but on the isolated landmass of Australia - where the rabbit has few natural enemies - the destruction was far worse. In 1859, a landowner named Thomas Austin imported twenty-four British rabbits to his Australian estate so that they could be hunted for sport. What occurred next was a horrific demonstration of what can happen when living things are allowed to reproduce virtually unchecked. Within just thirty years, the offspring of these twenty-four bunnies had overrun half the continent.

With a damaging foreign pest outcompeting Australia's unique native marsupials, and ruining the country's agriculture, the Australian government became increasingly desperate for a solution to the rabbit problem. Eventually it found one - myxomatosis. This virus occurs naturally among South American cottontail rabbits, in which it is fairly benign. In the European Rabbit, however, myxomatosis causes painful swellings around the face, then blindness, and ultimately death. In 1950, after many years of extensive research and debate, the disease was released in Australia. Over the next few years, carried by insects, it spread across the country, and devastated rabbit populations wherever it went.

@import url(http://www.google.com/cse/api/branding.css);

Custom Search

-----------------------
href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_psNw_CudQ6MdtjrquNCecy3gqA1VhVshlyIwtZntiIWNwAdJy0PWX0fjM1U5zNlrfLTleB59MM8ANy8PUr-zW3SOKQyhwTBCvM-zDUlVTtWWlMbVPb9fnhAO4HODR7IMP-bPc-HVeyv5/s1600/CVCageXCXCZCs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">Myxomatosis was brought to Europe deliberately, by a French landowner, in 1952. The following summer, the disease crossed the English Channel. Within two years, ninety-nine percent of Britain's bunnies were dead. The country's stoat and buzzard populations, which had subsisted almost entirely on rabbits, were predictably devastated. As if in tribute, rare orchids began to flower in previously overgrazed meadows. Shrubs sprang up in place of close-cropped grass, and amongst these, voles and hares began to flourish, liberated from the stress of a hundred million greedy competitors.

Today, of course, the rabbit is back, despite the continuing scourge of myxomatosis (to which wild rabbits are now somewhat resistant), and other recent afflictions such as Viral Haemorrhagic Disease. The rabbits of Europe and Australia have yet to return to their 1950 levels, and possibly never will, but they are nonetheless extremely numerous. If you could heap Britain's wild mammals onto a pair of gigantic weighing scales, with rabbits alone on one side and every other species (including massive ones such as deer) on the other, the scales would almost balance. Whether we love them, loathe them, exploit them, or eat them, rabbits are here to stay.

Krishna's Birth

2010-11-30T03:29:00.000-08:00

Krishna's Birth

--------------------------

--------------------------

Old King Ugrasena of Mathura had two children, Prince Kamsa and Princess Devaki. While King Ugrasena was a good king, Prince Kamsa was a ruthless tyrant. Now Princess Devaki was to wed a nobleman named Vasudeva.

Kamsa out of the love he bore for his sister decided to be the bride and groom's charioteer for the day. While Kamsa drove the chariot bearing Devaki and Vasudeva out of the wedding hall, a voice from the heavens boomed informing Kamsa that Devaki's eight child would be his slayer.
--------------------------------

----------------------------
Kamsa being the superstitious type would take no chances. He wanted to strike down Devaki that very moment. Vasudeva intervened, he begged Kamsa not to slay Devaki and show her some mercy. He further promised Kamsa that he would hand over any child born to them, if he would let Devaki live. Now Kamsa not wanting to have the blood of his sister on his hands agreed and instead placed them under house arrest.

------------------------------------------------

----------------------
Every time a child was born, the guards would inform Kamsa and he would take the child and kill it. Six of Devaki and Vasudev's children met their death this way. It so happened that the seventh child was born at night, and Devaki and Vasudeva seeing the opportunity decided to try to save the child.

The guards were asleep, so Vasudeva easily slid out of the palace undetected. He went to neighboring Gokul and left the child with his second wife Rohini and quickly returned to the palace (this child was named Balrama). In the morning he sent word to Kamsa that the child was still born.
Kamsa was pleased, he knew the next child was prophesized to be his slayer. Not wanting to take chances with the birth of the eight child, Kamsa had Vasudeva and Devaki thrown into the dungeon chained.
The eight child was born on the eight night of the month of Shravan. It was raining heavily and the skies thundered as if the Gods were trying to pay homage to the new born child. Then the miracle happened, Vasudevas chains fell off and the prison door opened by itself. Vasudeva found the guards to be asleep, so he decided that he would escape with the child and leave him at his friend Nanda's place in Gokul.

-----------------------------
href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTHWP3kJBCVm0hTWwIGib5sVnzC2P0xj1CNzPEmIJqACocDTvxR8ICe6OFL-Z7KkTl4WQhrVOr9ElejoP7Ed6X-bEKVbJ7yMo4fqpRdqA0jUEhHH3p5gztdNQE4_6m3T-hOwzfFk8sip13/s1600/lor20a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">

--------------------------------------

Custom Search

--------------------------------------------

Picking up the child, Vasudeva placed him in a basket. He then carried the basket on his head and made his way to Gokul. Now Gokul was on the opposite bank of the river Yamuna. Because of the thundering and the rain, the river Yamuna was in a state of turmoil. Vasudeva, wondering how he would cross the river prayed for a miracle. Then it happened!. The waters of the Yamuna parted and made way for him. Vasudeva then crossed the Yamuna and reached Gokul.

On reaching Nanda's house in Gokul, Vasudeva realised that Nanda's wife Yashoda had given birth to a baby girl. While Nanda and Yashoda were asleep, he placed his child in the cradle and took Nanda's daughter instead. He presumed that since it was a baby girl, Kamsa would not kill her. He then made the journey back to Mathura and he took the baby girl with him. As soon as Vasudeva reached the dungeon, the dungeon doors closed behind him and the baby girl started to cry. Awakened by the cries, the guards rushed to tell Kamsa of the birth of the eight child.

Hearing the news, Kamsa rushed to the dungeon and picked up the child and was about to dash it to the ground. Vasudeva begged Kamsa not to kill the child as it was only a girl and that a girl could do him no harm. The wicked Kamsa paid no heed and dashed the baby to the floor. As the baby was about to hit the floor, it suddenly flew up and told Kamsa that the one who was born to kill him still lives and is in Gokul. Then she disappeared.

Krishna Returns to Mathura

2010-11-30T03:18:00.000-08:00

Krishna Returns to Mathura

--------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------

Now stories about Krishna's deeds spread far and wide. When Kamsa heard about Krishna, he was sure that Krishna was Devaki's eight born child, born to destroy him. He, in turn, planned to invite Krishna to Mathura and have him killed. He summoned an old minister by the name of Akrura and sent him to Gokul with an invitation. Now Akrura was wise. He knew the real story of Krishna. That Krishna was a divine being born to kill Kamsa. He also knew that Nanda and Yashoda were not really Krishna's parents. On arriving in Gokul, Akrura told Krishna and his parents everything. Nanda and Yashoda were horrified, they wondered how a teenager like Krishna could take on a warrior like Kamsa. But Krishna insisted on going and he and Balrama left for Mathura.

------------------------------------------

---------------------------------

In the mean time, back in Mathura, Kamsa was thinking of ways of having Krishna killed. He asked an elephant trainer to have a mad elephant trample Krishna. Failing that he was sure that his best wrestlers Mushtika & Chanura could challenge Krishna & Balrama to a match and kill them.

----------------------------
href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyO8TlkU9HzZUyALevvzwfB0omcQKBaXZJqMTGuhsuoS2zXirQvfN9I6PGH1B1eeeJtIRmUZSz1RPEXZ060gqH4JoC_AyfRM3h9Am5JwFljGwVXf8NY34Ymyr9bZ8aM57MKyJ1zQAVK-se/s1600/TA51.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">

When Krishna arrived in Mathura, the elephant trainer was waiting for him at the gate. He sent the mad elephant Krishna's way. Krishna picked up the elephant by its trunk, hurled it into the air and killed it.

Krishna and Balrama then made way for the wrestling arena where Kamsa was. Kamsa then told Krishna and Balrama that his foremost wrestlers Mushtika and Chanura had heard of their strength and valor and would like to challenge them. Balrama killed Mushtika in mortal combat and then Krishna fought and killed Chanura.
Krishna then rushed towards Kamsa, grabbed his sword and killed him. Krishna then lifted the crown from Kamsa's severed head and walked towards the dungeon where King Ugrasena was imprisoned, freed him and offered him the crown. King Ugrasena was touched that Krishna would make him King again. Krishna then freed his parents Devaki and Vasudeva and had a joyous re-union with them.

Krishna's Life in Gokul

2010-11-30T03:13:00.000-08:00

Krishna's Life in Gokul

------------------------

----------------------------

---------------------------

--------------------------
The next morning in Gokul, the word spread that Nanda had a little boy and he was named Krishna. Now kansa knew that his would be slayer was still alive and was in Gokul, so he summoned a wicked demoness name Putana. He ordered Putana to go to Gokul and kill every baby born in the month of Shravan. Now Putana using her magic turned into a beautiful woman, she then applied poison on her breasts.

-------------------------------------------------

--------------------------
In Gokul she then searched for all the babies of the right age. She would act as if she was playing with them and then she would nurse them with her poisoned breasts. In this way, she killed many babies. Finally she came to Nanda's house and found baby Krishna there. She acted as if she was playing with the child, and then she picked him up and started to feed him. Now baby Krishna being divine, instead of succumbing to her evil ways, sucked the life out of her.

Krishna grew up a playful, mischievous child. He grew up amongst the cowherds of Gokul and even came in contact with his brother Balrama. Another miracle Krishna performed as a teenager was the taming of Kaliya. Kaliya was a poisonous snake with many heads, and inhabited a lake in Gokul. Kaliya would devour any cow that would drink from the lake. Krishna, angered by this, took a vow to tame Kaliya. He jumped into the lake and fought Kaliya. Alarmed by this, his friends ran to the village and informed his parents. Upon returning to the lake they found pools of blood on the surface of the lake. They though that surely Krishna was dead. After a while, the many headed Kaliya rose to the surface with Krishna dancing on top of him. Kaliya was tamed. Krishna then ordered Kaliya to leave the lake and the inhabitants of Gokul alone.

The people of Gokul used to worship Indra, the arrogant King of the devas, more out of fear than of love of him. Krishna thought that this was wrong. He said that they should instead worship the Mountain Govardhana (Gokul was on the foothills of this mountain) who had given them so much. The people started to worship Govardhana, this made Indra really angry. Indra, in order to punish them for their insolence, sent storms their way. It rained for many days and Gokul was flooded. The people of Gokul approached Krishna for help. Krishna lifted the entire mountain Govardhana with his little finger and gave shelter to the people of Gokul under it.

Character of Ravana

2010-11-30T03:07:00.000-08:00

Character off Ravana

-------------------------------------------------

----------------------------
   Ravana was a king of demons in the Hindu mythology. Here are some interesting tit bits about Ravana's life and his defeat by Rama.

---------------------------------------

   The pages of Hindu epic Ramayana introduce us to the notorious being called Ravana. The king of the demons with ten heads and twenty hands makes Hindu mythology really interesting. Ravana was born to parents by name Visrawasa and Kaikasi. He had two brothers with namesKumbhakarna and Vibhishana.
--------------------------------------

---------------------------------
   It is believed that Ravana was the most dreadful creature ever born. His childhood was responsible to make him whatever he was. When he was a child, people were terrified of a child having ten heads and dark complexion. Let us once again go back in time of mythology and supernatural powers to get the glimpse of the life of deadly demon and incredibly scholar persona known as Ravana.

How Ravana got his name...
-------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------
Ravana's real name was Dasamukha which literally means one who carries ten heads. Valmiki's Ramayana narrates the story about how Dasamukhagot the name Ravana. Once Ravana infuriated the great monkey king Vaaliwho was praying on the mountain. Agitated Vaali trapped Ravana. Ravanakept howling until Vaali released him from the trapping. Since then people forgot Dasamukha and remembered Ravana.

Intellectual and scholar demon

Though Ravana is looked upon as a cruel demon who annoyed the innocent, he is also known as a great intellectual in the history of Hindumythology. Under the guidance of his father, Ravana grasped vast knowledge. He learned sacred texts like Vedas. He mastered holy scripts.Ravana himself was a Brahmin but he learned the skills and techniques ofKshatriyas.

Devotee of lord Shiva

The demon that was well known for his evil powers had great faith in almighty. He was a believer of the supernatural beings. Ravana was a faithful devotee of lord Shiva, one of the incarnations of lord Vishnu. While possessed with obsession to manifest Lanka, Ravana confronted Shiva. Ravana tried to move on the mountain Kailash, the home of the lord Shiva.

In anger Lord Shiva punished Ravana by pressing him under his little toe.Ravana howled and danced to please lord Shiva. Then on Ravanaworshipped lord Shiva with unconditional devotion. During this chancemeeting with Shiva, Ravana composed Shiva tandava stotram.

The gruesome side of Ravana

Ravana had many wives but Mandodari is renowned as she was famous for her elegance and beauty. She was intelligent. Apart from legal wivesRavana was believed to have physical relations with many other women whom he had captured in the battles. There is a mention of the episodes in the Ramayana that he forced several women; amongst them was a sage-woman Vedavati.

Vedavati who was infatuated with the charisma of lord Vishnu, ended her life after losing her chastity. Ravana also tried to abuse Rambha, anapasara engaged to Kubera's (the god of wealth) son. After learningRavana's advances, Kubera cursed him that if he tried to force himself upon any women, all his heads would fall off. This is one of the reasons why he did not touch Sita when she was in his abduction.

The king of demons

Ravana was obsessed with the thought of conquering Lanka. Ravanaperformed tapas for many years to please Brahma, the god of creation. Seeing his dedication Brahma bestowed him boons. Brahma granted his wishes to be unbeatable by gods and other powers. After getting the control of divine power, he conquered Lanka.

In his tenure, Lanka was a prosperous and wealthy kingdom. He leadedLanka with his skills and he was considered one of the great monarchs. Under his ruling people in Lanka were living affluent lives. It is said that they actually owned gold vessels to consume their food. Ravana was admired for his huge knowledge of weapons and sorcery.

Ravana kidnaps Sita

Ravana's sister Shurpanakha was fascinated by Rama and she proposed him for marriage. Rama refused her proposal as he was already married toSita. Then Shurpanakha pleaded Laxman, Rama's brother to marry her. In a fit of rage Laxman chopped off her nose. Ravana got angry and to take revenge he kidnapped Sita.

Sita was in his captive for nearly a year. Later she had to go throughAgnipariksha to prove her chastity. Some facts in the mythology say that during her abduction, Ravana persuaded her to be his wife but never touched her. Other facts say that he kidnapped Sita only to take revenge of Laxman's behavior towards his sister.

When Hanuman (Rama's great devotee) was on his way back from Lankato inform Rama about Sita's whereabouts, the demons in the Lanka set his tail on fire. But with his powers Hanuman increased the size of his tail andLanka was burnt. Rama with the help of Hanuman set off to Lanka once he got to know about the Sita's kidnap.

Decline of Ravana

As Ravana was unbeatable, Rama had to acquire a special weapon to killRavana. Laxman got severely injured in the battle but he was saved by the magical herbs from the Himalayas. Finally Rama defeated Ravana and that was the end of the empire of Ravana. Ravana lost his life and his virtues because of his Karmas. His ego was solely responsible for his devastation.

On the day of Dassera Ravana's effigies are burnt to signify the power of the good over evil. But on contrary in some parts of India Ravana is worshipped on Vijay Dashmi. Ravana is the symbol of wickedness as well as wisdom. Ravana is burnt and worshipped for ages and will be burnt and worshipped for ages.

Monkey and the Crocodile

2010-11-30T02:51:00.000-08:00

Monkey and the Crocodile

----------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------

Once upon a time, a clever monkey lived in a tree that bore juicy, red rose apples. He was very happy.

One fine day, a crocodile swam up to that tree and told the monkey that he had travelled a long distance and was in search of food as he was very hungry. The kind monkey offered him a few rose apples. The crocodile enjoyed them very much and asked the monkey whether he could come again for some more fruit. The generous monkey happily agreed.

----------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------
The crocodile returned the next day. And the next. And the next one after that. Soon the two became very good friends. They discussed their lives, their friends and family, like all friends do. The crocodile told the monkey that he had a wife and that they lived on the other side of the river. So the kind monkey offered him some extra rose apples to take home to his wife. The crocodile's wife loved the rose apples and made her husband promise to get her some every day.

Meanwhile, the friendship between the monkey and the crocodile deepened as they spent more and more time together. The crocodile's wife started getting jealous. She wanted to put an end to this friendship. So she pretended that she could not believe that her husband could be friends with a monkey. Her husband tried to convince her that he and the monkey shared a true friendship. The crocodile's wife thought to herself that if the monkey lived on a diet of rose monkeys, his flesh would be very sweet. So she asked the crocodile to invite the monkey to their house.
The crocodile was not happy about this. He tried to make the excuse that it would be difficult to get the monkey across the river. But his wife was determined to eat the monkey's flesh. So she thought of a plan.

-------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------

One day, she pretended to be very ill and told the crocodile that the doctor said that she would only recover if she ate a monkey's heart. If her husband wanted to save her life, he must bring her his friend's heart.

The crocodile was aghast. He was in a dilemma. On the one hand, he loved his friend. On the other, he could not possibly let his wife die. The crocodile's wife threatened him saying that if he did not get her the monkey's heart, she would surely die.

So the crocodile went to the rose apple tree and invited the monkey to come home to meet his wife. He told the monkey that he could ride across the river on the crocodile's back. The monkey happily agreed. As they reached the middle of the river, the crocodile began to sink. The frightened monkey asked him why he was doing that. The crocodile explained that he would have to kill the monkey to save his wife's life. The clever monkey told him that he would gladly give up his heart to save the life of the crocodile's wife, but he had left his heart behind in the rose apple tree. He asked the crocodile to make haste and turn back so that the monkey could go get his heart from the apple tree.

The silly crocodile quickly swam back to the rose apple tree. The monkey scampered up the tree to safety. He told the crocodile to tell his wicked wife that she had married the biggest fool in the world.

BIG Lion and the SMALL Rabbit

2010-11-30T02:38:00.000-08:00

BIG Lion and the SMALL Rabbit

--------------------------------------------

------------------------

Once upon a time, there lived a big lion in a jungle. Every day he hunted and killed many animals to satisfy his hunger. The animals were worried that one day none of them would be left alive. They all decided to go to the lion and find a solution to this problem.

----------------------------------
href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpst2ieALxdfxOppw7Ru-iMxuPajEZMF3rNIJ6ELnQiSLD7k-odPyjJiV3nKSINc09eoGM2V0NTIiY5NXa6g7cppGYDucO6VPXDLnnmRpvC49zURu8KQRsbYhFtMjj3iyj5s_0eiL-FsYK/s1600/FDlion_raDFDFbbit_comparison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">

When the lion saw all the animals approaching, he was very happy as he thought that he would not have to take the trouble to hunt. He could just kill all the animals together once and for all.

One of the animals stopped him and pleaded that he listen to what they had to say first. He went on to explain that as the lion was king of the jungle, and all the other animals were his subjects, the lion would not be a king at all if he killed all his subjects. He would have no one left to rule over. He suggested that if the lion stayed home, one animal would surrender itself each day as food for the lion. The lion agreed to this offer on the condition that if they ever failed to send him an animal, he would go on a killing spree and finish all of them off.
From then on, each day an animal was sent to the lion and the lion was pleas

---------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------
One day it was the turn of a little rabbit to sacrifice his life to provide food for the lion. This little one did not want to be the lion's meal. He thought of a plan that would save his life as well as the lives of all the other animals in the jungle.
The rabbit slowly made his way to the lion's den. The lion was pacing up and down, extremely hungry. He was furious when all he saw was a little rabbit. He wanted to kill all the animals in a rage. The rabbit timidly explained that the animals had actually sent him six rabbits, but five of them were killed and devoured by another lion.

The lion roared in anger. He wanted to know who this other lion was who dared to steal his food. The rabbit stuttered that it was a very big lion. He had warned the other lion not to eat him as his king would be very angry and definitely come to fight him. The rabbit went on to say that that the other lion had called His Majesty an impostor and had challenged him to prove who was actually the king of the jungle. The lion was furious. He asked the rabbit to take him to the other lion as he wanted to kill him.

-------------------------------------------------

-------------------------
The little rabbit led the lion to a well and told him that the other lion was in there. The lion peered into the well and saw his own reflection. He thought it was the other lion. He let out a huge roar which echoed back at him. He immediately jumped into the well to attack what he thought was the other lion. The lion dashed his head against the rocks and drowned.
The jubilant little rabbit returned to other animals to spread the good news.

STORY FOR CHILDREN

2010-11-28T04:21:00.000-08:00

STORY FOR CHILDREN

----------------------------------------------

-------------------------

Custom Search

----------------------------------

Then one day, shortly before Easter, three bunny rabbits were placed on the shelf beside him.

-----------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------

They all had very big ears and feet and long legs. All three were wearing woolen sweaters.

Rita Rabbit wore a pink sweater. Roger Rabbit a green one. And Ronnie wore blue.

Roger and Ronnie were twins, and Rita was their sister.

"My you are a handsome bear," Rita told Wolstencroft after the store had closed for the night. "I'm surprised that no one has bought you and taken you home."

"So am I," replied Wolstencroft and, although he tried very hard to stop it, a tear rolled down his furry cheek.
-------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Now Wolstencroft had always been able to say his name correctly. But then, it was his very own name and everyone can say his or her own name. At least he thought that they could. Not when they are very little, of course. He couldn't say his name when he was a tiny baby bear. But after he had started going to school he knew it very well.
     "Wolstencroft," the teacher would call out. "Will you recite the alphabet for us today?"
     And he would name all the letters from A to Z. All 26 of them. He was a very smart bear.
  On Easter Sunday, very early just after the store had opened, a Mommy and Daddy bought Roger and Ronnie for their twin boys.
   "They look nice," Rita said. She was happy that her brothers had found a good home but felt sad, too, because she was beginning to miss them already.
     At the front of the store a table had been set up with chocolate Easter eggs. And as it was now Easter Sunday, they had been marked down to half price.
     After everyone had gone home for the day, Wolstencroft picked the nicest egg he could find and gave it to Rita, to cheer her up.
     They shared the egg, sucking on the sweet creamy chocolate and making sure it didn't get onto their clothes.
     Then they started to talk about the name Wolstencroft again.
     "I wouldn't want to change it," Wolstencroft declared. " I mean it's me. I've had it all my life.
     "But if it's stopping you from getting a home," Rita insisted. "You may have to."
     She hopped over to the book department and returned with a book called What to Name Baby.
Then she began reading out the names she thought might suit Wolstencroft.
     "What about Adrian?" she suggested. "It's a lovely name, very dignified."
     But Wolstencroft shook his head.
     "Well, what do you think of Bernard? It actually means brave as a bear."
     But Wolstencroft was not impressed.
     So Rita left the B's and began flipping through the pages of the book, reading out a name for each letter of the alphabet starting with C.

  But finally, just before the dawn rose in the eastern sky, Rita had convinced him that Woolly was the best choice.
     "You're right," Wolstencroft said as he closed his eyes and prepared to sleep. "It's nice to be dignified, but not to be stuffy."
     And so it was that Wolstencroft became known as Woolly for short.
     "I bet someone will come along and buy you tomorrow," Rita predicted as she fetched a black felt pen from the stationery department and underneathWolstencroft, wrote Woolly for short.
   Then one frosty evening when the stars were sparkling in the night sky and snowflakes were dancing past the windows, a little boy and his daddy came into the store.
     "Hey look at this," said the daddy when he noticed Wolstencroft's name tag. "This teddy bear has the same name as you! Only you're called Sten for short and he's called Woolly."
     "What?" The boy called out in surprise. "I didn't think anyone else in the whole great big world was called Wolstencroft."
     And just like Wolstencroft the bear, he was beginning to hate his name.
     "Why don't you two get to know each other?" the daddy suggested as he lifted Wolstencroft down from the shelf.
     And the little boy wrapped his arms around his namesake, which means someone who has the same name as yourself, and stroked his soft fur. And they both loved each other from that moment on.

"I love him daddy, can I have him for Christmas?" he asked hopefully. And when his daddy said yes, danced around the store with Wolstencroft, almost colliding with other shoppers as he did so.
Wolstencroft really wasn't such a bad name after all they both decided as they whirled around the Christmas tree at the front of the store. In fact, it was starting to sound better all the time now that they had found each other in this wonderful way.

Wolstencroft the bear had never remembered feeling this happy before. Indeed, he felt so chock-full of joy that he thought he just might burst. He was going to a new home at last. And he knew that this little boy, who was called Sten, would be his very best friend forever.
Then Sten gave him a hug so big that his tummy was squished. But, of course, Wolstencroft didn't care. Because no hug is too big for a teddy bear.