Straddling the Century Line

On Segmented Sleep Patterns

2012-02-24T13:19:00.000-05:00

لاتتوقع ان تعيش كما حكت لك امك صغيرا حكاوي ماقبل النوم فالاجدر ان ترى مسلسل الحكايات فقط باحلام النوم لتصحى كبيرا بواقع اكبر ..
Originally uploaded by REHAM ~

This week the BBC World Service posted an article on their website entitled The Myth of the Eight-Hour Sleep. It mentions several historical accounts and scientific studies that suggest sleeping eight hours straight at night may not be natural for everyone. According to the article, a historian at Virginia Tech found more than 500 references to segmented sleeping patterns. Apparently it was normal to go to bed about two hours after the sun went down, sleep for four hours, get up for two hours, and then sleep for another four hours before rising for the day's work. Also, when I say "get up", I don't mean just sit up in bed. Some people would stay in bed and read, but others would walk around and have a smoke or even visit neighbors.

This article helped me make sense of the sleep patterns in my family. Off and on for years ABM has been visiting doctors to try to get to the bottom of the reason why he doesn't sleep all the way through the night. Each doctor would listen to the description of his night and speculate that he had sleep apnea, but every time he would have a sleep study done they would say that he doesn't have sleep apnea. I can't wait to tell him about this article, so he can stop feeling like there is something wrong with him.

C1 and M have had a segmented sleep pattern since they were little. I do NOT react well to someone waking me from a sound sleep, so I taught M early on to flip through picture books or listen to music until she felt sleepy again rather than come bother me. Yeah, I know -- bad Mommy!

I used to be able to sleep straight through the night. Taking traditional naps is difficult for me because once I drift off to sleep, I want to stay that way for four hours at least. Those 45-minute power naps that people take at lunch make me feel groggy and angry instead of refreshed. Nowadays my sleep pattern has turned into two naps with a wakeful period in the middle. My first sleep is 3-4 hours, and then I am awake for 1-2 hours. The length of my second sleep determines how I will feel at work the next day. If I can get another 3-4 hours before it is time to get up for work, then I'm good. Many days, however, I only get 60-90 minutes before the sun start shining in my bedroom window. I've never considered myself an insomniac, but I do wonder every night before I lay down if this will be a night where I sleep straight through. It rarely is. Now that I am armed with this information, perhaps I will adjust my bedtime to give me time to get a good long second sleep.

The Talk: My New Evening Wind-Down Show

2012-02-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sure that a lot of people make comparisons between ABC's The View and CBS' The Talk, and I don't blame them. On the face of it, the two talk shows look a lot alike.Each one has a panel of famous women of different ages and at different life stages discuss pop culture topics. However, as a former fan of The View, I can tell you that The Talk is what The View used to be: a light daytime show for people who enjoy panel discussions.

While their hosts do address the latest headlines, the discussion never degenerates into a shouting match with apologies being made the next day. Perhaps it is because the cast hasn't been together long enough to get on each other's nerves, but these women act as if they genuinely like each other rather than just tolerate each other. Maybe having Sheryl Underwood and Aisha Tyler (two stand-up comedians) and Sharon Osbourne (a naturally funny woman) keeps the show happy and fun. I don't know. All I know is that it is the perfect show for me to watch in the evenings after work when my meds have laid me low.

On Preferring Single-Use Gadgets

2012-02-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

A while back when M was still a high-school senior, she overslept and missed the school bus. She told me that since her phone died, she didn't have an alarm to wake her. So, after two months of having all my children get themselves off to school, I was back to waking up at 5:45a to get her out of bed. This was especially annoying because I personally don't have to get out of bed until 7:30a to get to work on time.

Anyway, this got me to thinking about how gadget makers are always striving to make devices that can be The One and Only that you need to carry. When I got my Palm Treo years ago, I enjoyed the novelty of being able to make calls, send texts, look up info on the internet, and play music and video all on one device. Nowadays, however, I prefer to have separate gadgets for these functions.

My primary reasoning behind this is battery life. Despite the fact that today's tablets and mobile phones are more efficient than they once were, an hour of video is still a serious strain on your battery. I don't want to be using my phone to entertain myself while I'm in a waiting room somewhere and then end up with a dead battery and be unable to call ABM when I'm ready to be picked up. I believe many techies complain about the battery life on their phones because they buy into the hype and think that the phone is the only gadget they need to carry for everything. The battery on my iPhone lasts me an entire workday simply because I don't use it as an mp3 player or to search the internet. I only use it to call, text, and play the occasional game.

I realize that I am in the minority. Consumers are always clamoring for lighter, thinner devices that can do everything. As long as I am a gal with a big purse, I will prefer carrying two or three devices to meet my needs.

Apple Pie Afternoon

2012-02-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

In keeping with my goal of spending more time in the kitchen with the kids, at the end of January we made apple pies. I've been letting the girls help me decide what recipes we try, and making a pie was what C2 suggested. This was a new experience for me as well as the girls. I've baked apple pies before, but it was during my newlywed days and I used a recipe that called for dried apples. The cost of dried apples has skyrocketed since then, so I went with fresh apples this time.

The photos were taken by C2, our budding photographer. C1 did most of the actual cooking while I supervised. Even DJ had a hand in peeling and coring the apples, which proved to be the most time-consuming part of the prep work.

On the subject of the apples, I never knew how gross the coating on fresh apples can be. I purchased a bag of apples and was expecting to be able to give them a quick rinse and be done with it. These apples had a sticky/greasy coating that would not rinse off. Apparently that shine that consumers look for on their apples is the result of something called "food-grade shellac". Excuse me? Shellac is something to put on floors and furniture, not food. Now I understand why my normally frugal mother-in-law kept a bottle of Fit Fruit & Vegetable Wash by her sink.

Anyway, the pies turned out better than our attempt to make ravioli from scratch (hint: buy a pasta maker if you want to make noodles that are so thick they can choke a horse). We will probably do this again, maybe when peaches are in season.

Retro Wish List: Tinted Toilet Paper

2012-02-20T11:22:00.001-05:00

ABM enjoys real-estate shows like House Hunters and Property Virgins. Lately these shows have been featuring houses built in the 1960s and 1970s. There is usually a scene where the prospective home buyers step into the bathroom and express horror at the dated decor. I, on the other hand, see the blue tile that matches the blue tub and blue sink and blue toilet and my first thought is, "What they need now is blue toilet paper!" When someone has gone to all the trouble to match everything perfectly in her bathroom, white loo roll seems like an affront to her hard work.

Tinted toilet paper is one of those products that slipped away without me really noticing. You can find designer toilet paper at a premium, but it is not the same as walking into a grocery store and picking whatever color you want. According to my brief internet research, the rainbow variety of toilet paper was taken off the market in the 1980s due to concerns that the dye and fragrance may lead to infection and even cancer. Goodness knows I don't want to make anyone sick, but if there was a safe and cost-effective way to bring tinted toilet paper back to the supermarket I would welcome it.

It's February, and the bruises are in bloom

2012-02-19T17:15:00.001-05:00

My bruises from last Tuesday's fall are just starting to show up. As usual, my attention was focused on the most insistent pain so I didn't notice that I actually banged up several parts of my body on the tumble down the stairs. Yesterday while I was bathing, the bruises began to appear like purple flowers all over my arms and legs.

Other than looking like a spotted wonder, I think I'm healing quite nicely. Putting weight on my right leg doesn't hurt as much, but I do feel weak all over so I'm not ready to try the stairs yet. This means my lovely teenagers have been cooking meals and doing chores this weekend. I've felt guilty about fobbing off so much of the work on them in the past, but now I can see that it was good training for a situation like this.

Update on My Leg

2012-02-17T12:05:00.000-05:00

My right leg, which I injured on Valentine's Day, seems to be improving. I stayed out of work on Wednesday and after a day spent with my leg propped up, I thought I could make it to work on Thursday. That was not the best decision. I made it through the day but I was worn out, sore, and cranky by 5p. With diligent care on Tuesday night and Wednesday I had managed to avoid swelling. By 4:30p yesterday my ankle was visibly bloated and the pain extended from my big toe all the way up to my butt.

Even with all that, I am walking better than I was on Tuesday. Since my leg is improving, I stuck with my decision not to go to the doctor. I stayed home today to get the swelling back down. Hopefully, everything will be back to normal by Monday.

Not Exactly Tripping the Light Fantastic

2012-02-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

Tripping over my own feet is becoming a common occurrence with me, and I did it again this evening. I was carrying a basket of laundry downstairs and I lost my footing on the last couple of steps. My right leg slammed against the floor, but I don't think I broke anything this time. It does hurt too much to walk it off, so I am following all the suggestions for a sprained ankle. I wrapped it in a compression bandage, propped it up on a pillow, put an ice pack on it, and took some ibuprofen.

My son DJ was a rock star during all this. He stood next to me while I was banging the floor and waiting for the pain to subside enough to go upstairs. He helped me wrap my ankle and brought me the other things I needed. Having kids old enough and strong enough to assist me in a situation like this is a blessing.

I was debating whether I should have called ABM right when it happened. The fall occurred about an hour before he was going to get off work, so I figured it could wait until he got home. Considering ABM's state of mind lately, he will either be exasperated because I fell again or angry because he thinks I should have called him sooner. That may sound harsh, but I know that being married to a clumsy woman must be tiring for him.

On Seeing Death Wherever You Look

2012-02-12T17:50:00.000-05:00

We're all familiar with the phenomenon of seeing something everywhere once it applies to you. It's cute when you get your first pair of glasses or your first mobile phone and notice how many other people have them. When you've been through a tragedy, however, seeing others go through the same sadness can be like a weight added to your already heavy burden.

When ABM heard about Whitney Houston's death, it cast a pall over the day. He wasn't exactly a big fan of hers, but his heart immediately went out to Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina. He feels totally lost without his mother and he can imagine it will be even worse for her since she is only 18. This morning at work ABM found out that a family friend passed away, and it hit him so hard that he left work and came right back home. We hadn't seen her in a while, but she was still on the short list of people he would have turned to if his mother couldn't help him with something. It was a shock to us both when we saw her at his mother's funeral; illness had changed her appearance so much that I didn't even recognize her. Still, ABM wasn't prepared to hear that she passed away.

Even though ABM knows that people die every day, right now it seems as though death is surrounding him more that usual. TV and movies, which work as an escape for me, have been torture for him. Every movie or TV show seems to have a death in it somewhere, and I'm not just talking about the detective shows and the dramas. If you watch a reality show, there will be a participant whose business declined after the death of her mother or a singer who is dedicating his audition to his mother who is dying of cancer. Today I had to hit the mute button to keep ABM from hearing such a scene while I was watching TV. I wonder when we will get to the day where I can stop doing that.

Looking back at January's goals and forward to February

2012-01-30T12:30:00.001-05:00

As promised, I am looking back at the resolutions I made at the beginning of January to see how I am doing and if any adjustments need to be made.

--Spend at least 30 minutes a night on some chore: I am doing pretty well with this one. Except for a couple evenings where vertigo took over and I had to stay in bed, I managed to accomplish something every day after work. I've cleared a virus off one of the computers, cleaned out drawers and closets, and folded plenty of laundry. If I can stick to this throughout February, I will feel comfortable enough to call it a habit.

--Read four books a month: This is the area where I am slacking. I've only finished one book this month and that was a graphic novel, which are generally quick to read. To meet my goal in February I'll have to have two books on the go, one nonfiction and one fiction.

--Stitch five items for myself: I didn't do much work towards this goal, other than knitting a few more rows on my Lanesplitter skirt.

I'm very happy with my progress on my first goal, but I think the other two need tweaking. So I am adding a couple more goals for February that I think will help me.

--Limit my internet usage on work nights: My aim for February will be to only get on my laptop after work if I need to pay a bill. This will free me up to either do needlework or read. Being honest with myself, I have to say that this will be a tough one. Everyone knows that I am a bit of an online junkie, but I truly want to add some diversity to my leisure time.

--Survey my wardrobe and pick out the five projects I want to stitch for myself: Making a list should help me make this goal more real instead of a "someday" idea.

At 45 I am more sure of myself, my skills, and what I want out of my life. The purpose of these goals is to make my surroundings reflect that growing confidence.

On Subscribing to My Local Paper

2012-01-22T12:12:00.000-05:00

We'd been talking about it for a while, subscribing to the local newspaper. We'd done it several times in the past but always canceled it when papers started piling up unread. Our desire to start using coupons in our grocery shopping convinced us to try subscribing again, which we did this week. We opted for the weekend-only delivery this time since all we really want is the coupons from the Sunday paper. Of course, I can't see having a newspaper in the house without reading it, so here I am on a Sunday reading the actual physical paper.

The first thought that always comes to me when I read the local paper is "Why didn't I know this was going on?" I like to think that following various local organizations on Facebook and Twitter is keeping me informed, but just in five minutes of flipping through the paper I found out that:

--the local school board decided NOT to close M's former middle school after all;
--John's Toy and Hobby, a well-known independent toy store, is closing after 50 years;
--the chamber of commerce is having a Dancing With the Stars-style fundraiser;
--there was a pie-tasting day at the homemakers' center in Gastonia.

I know that reading news in digital form is more convenient. However, I find that I miss out on so many events going on in the community when I stick to online news. It is too easy to zero in on particular stories and miss the incidentals. The physical act of flipping pages results in articles catching my eye that I wouldn't have even known to look for, like the Dancing for Future Stars fundraiser.

My internet use tends to crowd out every other activity, so I'm sure the papers will pile up unread again in due time. For now, however, I will enjoy reacquainting myself with my community.

Birthday Week Chez Moi

2012-01-13T12:24:00.001-05:00

This week I turned 45. I've never been one to stress about my age, but I must admit that I am beginning to feel a few twinges of melancholy about approaching 50. My grey hairs are more evident, I don't get carded at the ABC store, and new people I meet aren't as surprised as they once were when I tell them my age. Of course, the positive side of being older is that the kids are older, too. C1 and C2 will be 15 tomorrow, M will be 19 next month, and DJ will be 14 in June. I enjoy them all so much more now that I can relate to them as people with their own thoughts and ideas instead of as creatures who need to be fed and trained not to pee on the floor.

We don't have elaborate birthday celebrations in this family, and even if we did we wouldn't have this year due to the family still being in mourning over the loss of the MIL. I got Chinese food and chocolate-filled cupcakes (which the kids need to make again - yum!). C1 and C2 will be celebrating their birthday tomorrow with homemade fish & chips and onion rings, a nod to our fascination with English TV. There will also be some gaming tomorrow: Dance Central, Rock Band, and possibly some tabletop games.

As for gifts, I got an iPhone 4S from ABM. He has really been on the ball with gift-giving lately and getting me things I really want. I wasn't exactly pining away for an iPhone but for the past year or so, I've been wanting to get my hands on either an iPhone or an iPod Touch to try out. I still enjoy using my Galaxy Tab that I got last Mother's Day, but I have found it slightly frustrating that every time I hear about a cool game it shows up on iOS first. I have to wait months for it to show up on Android, if it gets ported there at all. Since we bought three of my kids and my nephew the iPod Touch for Christmas, I will also be able to experience some of the the more social games like the With Friends line from Zynga. Hopefully that will inspire me to do more posting and more reviews on this blog!

To Sir With Love

2012-01-06T10:47:00.000-05:00

A pal on Facebook posted a meme where you post a YouTube video of the song that was #1 the week of your birth. For a long time I thought it was "To Sir With Love" but that song didn't actually hit the top of the charts until November of 1967 (thanks, internet!). Still, this song and movie hold a special place in my heart. The movie was played often on Saturday afternoons back when I lived in the country with no cable TV and no internet. It, along old shows from the BBC that aired on our local PBS station, shaped my view of England and the 1960s.

I'm making resolutions, gosh darn it!

2012-01-05T14:17:00.002-05:00

In the past few years it has become fashionable to say that one does not make New Year's resolutions because they are so passe. The belief is that one gets carried away by the fresh tide of a new year and makes grandiose plans that are doomed to fail before February roll around. Well, this year I am in the mood to make a few resolutions and I am not ashamed to proclaim them!

--Spend at least 30 minutes each night doing some chore: I have the kids handling the basics like dishes and laundry, but the infrequent tasks like cleaning out closets are not getting done. If I do a little each day, I can keep myself off the current season of "Hoarders".

--Read at least 4 books a month: This ties in with my book blog. If I don't read, I don't have anything to post. I joined the Goodreads 2012 Reading Challenge to help me track this. Although I feel like I am doing a lot of reading now, in reality it is composed mostly of blogs and online articles. I want to get back to reading actual books or listening to audio books. The internet helps me keep up with pop culture, but books help me exercise my brain and make me feel more well-rounded.

--Stitch at least 5 items for myself: This could be knitting, crocheting, or sewing. I never make clothing for myself and I think it is about time. ABM bought me a sewing machine last year and I have yet to put it to use. My shabby wardrobe could use a little pizzazz.

My plan is to reevaluate at the end of the month and either change or continue with the goals I've set here. Hopefully sticking to these goals will pull me away from my Facebook game addiction and give me something to blog about!

Sometimes Pills are Good

2011-11-20T12:19:00.001-05:00

This morning I woke up in pain. My muscles were aching from the waist up and the soreness extended right down to my fingertips. It was difficult to ignore, and yet I tried. The aches are part of my MS and there is nothing I can do about it so I might as well suck it up, right?

It may sound irrational, but I try not to take medicine if I can avoid it, even over-the-counter medicine. Back when I was in high school, I used to take six Tylenol pills at a time for headaches. Nothing bad happened as a result of that, but I decided one day that I was putting too much medicine in my body and I stopped. Ever since then I've lived by the philosophy that most ailments are temporary visitors in my body and I can wait them out without medicine or trips to the doctor. That worked fine when I was dealing with colds and sprained ankles, but multiple sclerosis is on a whole other level. MS is not passing through and it is not going away. Not only that, but every day it seems to bring with it a different symptom to deal with: fatigue, pain, flu-like chills, tingling or burning in my extremities, headaches, etc. I can't always take a day off and wait the symptoms out like I would with a cold because the next day something else may be on deck. So I have to take medicine to make me more comfortable and help me function.

Back to this morning: after spending a couple miserable hours hoping the muscle aches would go away, I gave in and took some ibuprofen. Despite my neurologist's assurance that my liver is fine and that taking ibuprofen whenever I needed it wouldn't hurt anything, I'm having trouble adjusting my thought that taking more than two pills a day is bad. It makes me feel like an old lady, and it's not sexy. Still, being curled up on my bed in pain doesn't exactly paint a lovely picture, either, does it?

On Watching My Husband Grieve

2011-11-18T10:50:00.001-05:00

It has been a month since the MIL passed, and people are starting to hint to ABM that he shouldn't still be so upset. All this does is pile guilt on top of the grief he is already trying to crawl out from under. He has always been a "suck it up and drive on" type of guy. He is trying to apply that philosophy to this situation and it isn't working. His head and his heart are at war right now, and I'm the journalist on the front lines reporting back to the folks at home -- I can only observe.

Watching ABM sort out his emotions and try to get through each day is gut-wrenching. If I could touch him and absorb his pain to give him some relief, I would. Every conversation is a minefield. Talking about inconsequential subjects like who is getting voted off of "The X-Factor" seems heartless, but whenever I say anything in reference to his mum I run the risk of making him break down again. If this were a physical ailment like a broken leg, I could at least bring him dinner and make him comfortable on the couch. There isn't much I can do to soothe his broken heart.

When Your World Stops Spinning

2011-11-07T16:17:00.000-05:00

On 22 Oct 2011, after a month-long hospitalization, ABM's mother (who I referred to here as "the MIL") died from complications after her double-knee surgery. Even though we weren't the best of friends like my BFF Rabbit and her mother-in-law, we seemed to figure out our relationship in recent years and there was a lot less arguing and sniping. I came to realize that she was probably lonely with no spouse or children at home and stopped resenting her frequent presence. I like to think that she finally came to view me as an adult capable of running a household and raising decent children.

I knew that one day I would have to deal with my children losing their grandmother and I thought it would be the toughest parenting duty I would ever have to perform. It never occurred to me that the kids would be easier to handle than ABM. The kids are sad; they cried at the hospital and again at the funeral, but for the most part they seem to be leaning on their faith in God and the belief that Grandmere is in heaven and no longer suffering from the pain she was in for the last month. ABM is having a real tough time of it. Of course I know it is natural to grieve the loss of one's parent, but I've never seen someone be so stricken before. I feel like such an unfit wife; ABM has always been this strong guy who doesn't need anybody and now that he needs help I don't know what to do for him.

What makes things worse is that even though our world has stopped spinning, it is business as usual everywhere else. Right before the funeral I was reading a novel in my favorite genre -- what my kids call "large print prairie romance" -- and there was a death in the book which necessitated the women to turn down social engagements and wear black for a year. I found myself longing for a return to that custom. In today's society, most schools and employers give you three days of bereavement leave and then expect you to return to work. There is no way that ABM could do that. So many sights and sounds during the day set him off.

There are other practical matters that, while it feels callous to me, have to be addressed sooner than later. Besides the business of figuring out her personal affairs and getting those wrapped up, the MIL was our main backup -- our third parent. Case in point: on Friday, C1 stayed after school for some tutoring. ABM forgot she was doing this so he didn't keep his mobile with him and I had forgotten to charge mine. In a situation like this, C1 would normally have called Grandmere and that would have been the end of it. Luckily, ABM finally got the message before the school was locked up and ran to get C1, but this incident was a wake-up call letting us know that we can't put off building a new network of backup people.

New knitting project: Lanesplitter

2011-09-16T15:38:00.000-04:00

I'm dealing with the MIL being in hospital and pre-vacation prep, and what does my crazy brain say? "I MUST cast on a new knitting project!" None of the hibernating patterns in my closet struck my fancy as something I wanted to carry on a cruise ship with me. Also, I have become enamored of the idea of knitting myself a skirt; it seems like such a retro thing to do. So I'm casting on the Lanesplitter skirt from last year's First Fall edition of Knitty.

How this skirt is going to turn out is debatable. When checking Ravelry, I couldn't find anybody who had knit the skirt in Red Heart yarn, which is what I'm using. Oh, well -- if it turns out to be an ill-fitting disaster, I can always turn it into a pillow! I'll share progress pics soon.

Starting the School Year with a Difference

2011-08-21T14:27:00.004-04:00

For the past several years, each school year has brought tiny milestones: our favorite school principal retiring, the last day a school bus stopped in front of our house, our last kid starting middle school, etc. These were all small changes, though, compared to this year. Two days ago, we drove M up to Mars Hill College and settled her into the dorm. We are now a family of five instead of six, at least until Christmas.

People keep asking me if I miss her yet, but if you really know me then you know I'm not THAT kind of mum. I did have to restrain myself from texting her several times but it wasn't because I missed her. I wanted to hear all about what she was doing. If I am having a new experience, I either text one of my friends or tweet during the whole thing because I want to share it. This time around, however, I didn't want to come off as one of those hovering parents so I'm waiting for her to contact me. I don't think I will truly feel M's absence for a couple weeks, simply because she spent half her time at the MIL's house to be closer to school for band competitions and such.

ABM and I are still mulling over all the ways that things around here will be different now that M is at uni. There will be one less person to wake up for school in the morning, one less person to worry about at dinner time (M is such a picky eater!), and one less person helping with chores. There will also be no one to watch the ballroom competitions with me and cheer when the couples bump into each other or laugh at the overly dramatic Korean soap operas with me. M and I didn't spend a lot of time together, but we enjoyed each other's company. Being the late bloomer that she is, we didn't develop that combative relationship that teenage daughters have with their mums until about six months ago, just in time for her to push off on her own.

For ABM's part, he is already going through a bit of parenting withdrawal. M was a challenging student at best, so ABM is accustomed to micro-managing her schedule. I don't know what he is going to do now that he can't call teachers, set up meetings, or have weekly progress reports. I've been trying to get ABM used to the idea that he must relinquish control and let M handle things herself, but he doesn't seem to be ready for that.

I love me some Cee Lo Green

2011-08-09T12:32:00.001-04:00

Cee Lo Green's brand of R&B is different than everything else I've been hearing on the radio, and he does fun videos, as well. Plus, it IS nice of him to give Jaleel White some work :-).

Streaming Killed the Video Star?

2011-08-08T14:11:00.000-04:00

Infographic by: Wistia

My Computer-Free Day

2011-07-31T09:44:00.002-04:00

Yesterday turned out to be a computer-free day for me. I read, exercised with C2, discussed fashion with C1, and played Rock Band with M. Usually the only thing to get me away from the computer would be a power outage! I didn't even miss being on the internet, though. I had fun spending time with my teens.

The key to having more days like that is to avoid turning the computer on first thing in the morning. My routine on Saturdays is to check my email while one of the kids brings me a cup of coffee. My laptop is housed in a pocket that ABM built onto the side of my bedside table, so I usually grab the computer before I even get out of bed. There will probably still be many more days like that, because my energy level is pretty low on most weekends. However, I am making an effort to evaluate how I feel and not just lay around in bed because it is Saturday and I can. That has gotten to be a habit and I am trying to shake things up.

Ode to a Departing Friend

2011-07-11T11:04:00.002-04:00

Today is the last day that my neighbor LJ and her family will be in the house across the street. They are embarking on a great adventure: moving to Hong Kong for work reasons. Even if they decide to return to the States after the first year of her husband's contract is completed, they probably won't come back here because they have family in other parts of the country. So this is the last day that we will be seeing LJ, her husband, and their lovely kids.

Although most people find me to be at turns antisocial, moody, or sarcastic, what even my best friend Rabbit doesn't know is that I am a watery mess when it comes to goodbyes. Perhaps all those 1930s melodramas I've watched since I was a kid have trained me to cry when people leave -- I don't know. All I know is that I woke up this morning feeling weepy and sad.

My melancholy is compounded by the fact that I know LJ and her family have been much better friends to me than I have been to them. For a while, LJ's daughter was the adorable little sister that C1 never had and kept her company on many a lonely Saturday when the neighborhood teens decided they were too cool to come to our house. LJ's son was a great companion for DJ; even though he is an athlete who plays several sports, he also enjoyed playing video games and watching anime with my non-athletic son. As for me, I know that I would have indulged my broody, slightly agoraphobic tendencies during my bouts of unemployment if LJ hadn't been knocking on my door regularly to ask me a knitting question or to bring us muffins. Even as recently as last month, with all her worries about this move on her mind, LJ and her madre came over and helped ABM during M's graduation cookout when I was too fatigued to face people for one more second.

So, here's to LJ and her family. As the old Irish blessing says:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Why I hate bathing

2011-06-29T12:13:00.002-04:00

No, I don't really hate bathing but that is an eye-catching title, don't you think? Anyway, my neighbor HK posted a blog entry about how much she loves to swim. It made me think once again about my love/hate relationship with water.

I can go years without getting anywhere near a swimming pool, and on our last cruise I never even jumped in the ocean. Why? The feeling of warm water rushing over my body in a shower or floating in a large body of water is lovely, but then there is the aftermath. It may sound strange but I hate dealing with all the necessary tasks that come after being wet. Washing my hair feels good, but then there is the detangling. Taking a bath or shower is nice and of course I want to smell good, but do you know how much time it takes to towel off and moisturize a buxom gal like me? Swimming is glorious, but then I have to deal with the hair and the toweling off PLUS pulling myself out of a wet suit. If I happen to be on a cruise, I have to do all of that in a tiny cabin and quickly because we usually want to rush off to dinner or a show. Ugh!

My perfect scenario would be to swim naked and lay on the beach to air dry. Oh, and I would need a handsome manservant to apply the moisturizer after. Since I'm fantasizing, I'd also like curly hair that dried without tangles, thank you!

The Mother's Day Index -- How Do You Stack Up?

2011-05-08T12:34:00.003-04:00

Every year some company or other (this year it was Insure.com) comes up with a Mother's Day Index. They use statistics from the US Bureau of Labor to calculate how much mothers should be paid for all the services they provide. For instance, the median salary for a cook in this country is $9.53 an hour, so if we assume mothers cook about 14 hours a week then they should be earning $6,934.20 a year just for their culinary services. This year's index suggests that it would cost $61,426 a year to hire someone else to do all that a mother does, so the mother of your children should be insured for at least that much.

I've heard of this index before but it is usually as a sound bite on the radio where they just give you the total. Thanks to the internet, when it was mentioned on CBS Sunday Morning today I could go online and see the actual breakdown including how many hours a week mothers are supposedly performing each task. I thought it would be amusing to look at how many hours I devote to these tasks and see how I stack up.

The first thing I realized right away is that the list of tasks is more appropriate for mothers of younger children. I have four teenagers in my house and they don't need me to do some of the tasks on the index, like planning activities. They have 40 hours a week down for that; in my case it wouldn't even be 40 hours a year. My kids aren't ferried to soccer or dance class, either, so driving is completely off my list. As for cooking. once my picky kids learned to use the microwave, my hours spent in the kitchen went way down. I only cook three meals a week myself; I make suggestions and ingredients available for the kids to cook the rest of the week.

Anyway, after I adjusted the hours for my lifestyle, my personal Mother's Day Index is $19,559.43 a year. I'm not sure how that makes me feel. I already know that I don't do as much as other mothers. Seeing it as a number is a little weird, though. At least it is one way for me to show people I'm not being modest when I say that having four kids doesn't work me that hard.