This is a comment I’ve heard from many parents after sharing with me how their daughter or son was molested. But – unfortunately, they did not know at the time.

The ‘father of lies’ at work.

Satan, the ‘father of lies’, places his negative messages into the child’s heart when he or she is molested, violated etc. And those lies are like a time bomb, with the fuse burning, the timer ticking. But the parents do not find out for years… until the bomb goes off. at that point, their daughter starts changing drastically… rejecting them, rejecting the church, rejecting God, being angry all the time, or depressed. Sometimes she will start drinking, cutting herself, having panic attacks etc.

The same child who was a good student is now failing her classes -  classes where she knows the information and has always been able to complete the homework assignments.

Other times the son or daughter have not experienced abuse, but for different reasons, they are no longer walking with the Lord, choosing a different path, leaving the parents feeling like failures, wishing they would have done a better job of raising them.

(This blog is referring to parents who want the best for their children. I have worked with many people whose parents were manipulating, demanding, demeaning, physically, verbally or sexually abusive, engaging in mind control, play ‘god’ seeking to create their children in their own image. Even worse, they have no repentance, just anger at the loss of their ability to control their children when they finally leave. This blog is not about those parents or the children of those parents. Previous blogs share about how Jesus identified with all the abuse from these parents who will some day be held accountable by God for the damage they have caused to their children and the evil ways they have misrepresented His character.)

And of course, the ‘father of lies’ does at lease two more wicked things, consistent with his nature at this time:

1. Satan places negative thoughts in the parents hearts… without them realizing that these messages are coming from him… that they are not their own, that they are terrible parents, that they should have known -  they should have seen the signs, that they are failures etc:
1. Satan capitalizes on the truth that we are all imperfect parents, we have all made mistakes
2. Pursuing his goal of the parents defining themselves by his lies and negative messages, and by their son or daughter’s pain… instead of God’s identity for them, including HIS forgiveness for their failures and HIS perfection for all their imperfections, HIS peace for all their guilt and sense of loss.
3. Satan places more lies and negative in her heart as well, because she is angry, drinking, depressed, cutting herself etc., leading her to think about what a terrible, horrible person she is, and how hopeless it is to even try to get healing for the incredible pain welling up inside her… pain she can’t seem to escape:
2. Satan capitalizes on the truth that she is imperfect
1. pursuing his demonic goal of defining herself based on bad things others have done TO her, (even though Satan is the one who set her up to be abused)
2. instead of receiving healing, grace and hope in Christ, where her identity is based on everything Christ has done FOR her… all the ways Jesus suffered all of her abuse, an embracing all the ways she has tried to numb her pain, so she can receive HIS forgiveness, HIS healing, HIS purity and HIS peace.

How can Jesus identify with our losses?

Jesus and His Father lost 1/3 of their original family/children in Heaven, in a perfect environment, and they lost Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden as well.

Jesus lost some of the disciples who started to follow Him, but were not willing to receive His Spirit of surrender to His Father’s will.

Jesus felt the loss of the rich young ruler walking away.

Jesus felt the loss of Peter denying Him.

Jesus felt the loss of Judas choosing to betray Him, because Jesus created Judas to spend eternity with Him. Yet Judas was choosing to walk into the night, away from hope, away from forgiveness, into the hands of the enemy, an enemy who was planning on using him and then throwing him away. But first, Satan would not pass up the opportunity to torment Judas, oppressing him with condemnation and regret, without hope, so that he would take his own life.

Jesus knew he could not stop Judas from making these terrible choices without violating his will, his power of choice. And Jesus will not use His power to do that. This is why the gospel of John tells us that Jesus was troubled in His soul, for Judas, at the last supper. And this is why we don’t have a 5^th gospel, the ‘Gospel of Judas.’

Jesus understood loss as the “Lamb slain from the FOUNDATION of the world,” (Rev. 13:8)… as He cried out, “Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her. How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a he gathers her chicks under her wings, but were not willing!”  (Matt.23: 37).

Parents with Children out of the Church/Being rejected by those you love:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank you Jesus for personally going through the experience of being rejected by those You were seeking to save… feeling the loss and rejection of those who would not love You, who would not turn to You, grieving over them as You entered Jerusalem with the words, “How often I would have gathered you under my wings, as a hen gathers her chicks, but You would not…”

So You could suffer and die for me, embracing all my sadness, guilt and regret as a parent, with my (son’s/daughter’s name) ___________________, forgiving me for everything I DID know, and everything I DID NOT know… releasing all my guilt, regret and shame – replacing it with Your supernatural peace so I can pray for him/her with Your power, Your love, Your forgiveness, based on Your finished work You have already completed on his/her behalf.

Thank You for revealing all the ways I have failed, and all the ways I feel I have failed, so You can release all the true guilt and all the false guilt from my heart, replacing it with the power of Your peace. Thank You for giving me YOUR passion for praying for loved ones YOU have given to me, with YOUR promise that YOU want them to come to YOU so YOU can bless them with YOUR healing, YOUR freedom and their truest, deepest identity as YOUR son or daughter.

In Your name Jesus, Amen.

Rejected – Defective.

Unwanted – Unloved.

Discarded – Throw Away.

Something wrong with me.

Not good enough – Inadequate.

Do any of these words describe your feelings or your experiences and the messages you have received in life? Have you ever been rejected by someone close to you, perhaps one or both of your parents?

How many of us have been forsaken by:

• Our dad, our mom or both…
• A spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance
• A best friend
• A business partner etc. leaving us broken and alone at a critical time in our lives
• Our own bodies, turning against us with cancer and other physical illnesses taking their toll on our health
• God Himself (or at least you felt like God has left you because of your own sin or someone sinning against you, especially if that person was in a position representing God to us a parent, a priest, a pastor, teacher etc.?)

And we are left wondering what is wrong with us? Why did this happen to me? Am I forever defined by rejection?  Will I always carry this pain and fear and need to protect myself from being hurt again?

Jesus’ Personal Identification With Rejection:

Jesus was affirmed by His Father at different times in His ministry, saying the words so many of us long to hear, “This is My Son (or daughter), in whom I am well pleased.” So how can He identify with us?

But Jesus also chose to hang on the cross, in His deepest darkest hour, carrying all of our sins in His own body, as our Savior who ‘knew NO sin, was made to BE sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God,’ (2 Cor. 5:21).

Christ hung there, feeling totally forsaken, rejected and abandoned – as if His Father was never going to come back again, crying out, “Why have YOU forsaken ME?” (Psalm 22:1)

Christ chose to fulfill prophecy, hanging on the cross crying out to His Father, “My God, My God, WHY?” – asking the very same question our hearts ask… after Jesus has:

• Lost blood
• Been abandoned and denied by those closest to Him
• Had His hands and feet pierced by nails, His nerves on fire
• Felt totally forsaken and rejected by His Father in His deepest, darkest moment
• Embraced all our sins, and the consequences of sin – leading to the ‘second death’ of eternal separation from His Father (Revelation 2:11; 20:6, 14; 21:8)

In His humanity, Jesus went through this excruciating experience:

• Choosing not to trust in His own power to relieve His pain and sense of isolation
• Choosing to trust in His Father’s presence even when He could not feel it

And in His divinity:

• He could identify with you and your experience
• Earning the right to earn your trust in your heart
• So He could embrace all your pain from being rejected, isolated, abandoned by those close to you
• So you could receive HIS healing, HIS love, and
• HIS identity HE has for you:

a. Based on what HE has done FOR YOU

b. NOT what others have done TO you

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for choosing to fulfill prophecy, going through the pain of rejection as You hung on the cross, so You could embrace all my rejection, and all the ways I’ve tried to numb my pain of rejection…

So You could rise again to fulfill Your mission statement to:

• Heal my wounded heart
• Setting me free
• Walking me out of my prison of rejection
• So I can receive Your acceptance
• With my truest, deepest identity as Your son/daughter

In Your Name Jesus, Amen.

Next Time:

How can Jesus relate to parents struggling with a sense of failure, disappointment, anxiety and/or worry about their children when their children have been hurt, betrayed, abused or not walking with the Lord?

C.S. Lewis sums up the problem suffering creates in our relationship with God:

“If God were good, He would wish to make His creatures happy, and if God were almighty He would be able to do what He wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore, God lacks either goodness or power, or both. This is the problem of pain, in it’s simplest form.” The Problem of Pain p.16

A friend of mine, Cheryl Ricker, has written a wonderful book of poems called “A Friend in the Storm” (www.cherylricker.com). It is designed to offer support for those going through difficult times, offering Jesus as their friend in the midst of their trials and suffering.

An old friend of hers, Jeff, asked how could a loving God allow a young girl to be raped and murdered. He presents a deep, penetrating question… And sometimes we are tempted to try and explain God, along with what His Word calls the “MYSTERY” of evil. Sadly, because it is a mystery that we cannot fully explain or understand in this world, we can end up trying to teach more than we know, more than what God has revealed in His Word.

After thousands of hours of praying with and counseling people, I’ve found the “WHY?” question comes from the heart more than the mind. So a logical, rational answer is going to miss the target by a mile. At the same time, we will all wrestle with this question at some point in our lives, whether it is related to our own personal experiences or that of others. So we need some kind of response for Jeff and for ourselves – something that is supernatural, not natural, so it can reach Jeff’s heart, and ours. Philip Yancey shares with us the role prayer plays in this supernatural answer:

“I challenge skeptics to find a single argument used against God by the great agnostics -Voltaire, David Hume, Bertrand Russel – that is not already included in such biblical books as Habakkuk, the Psalms, Ecclesiastes, Lamentations, and, yes, Job. These strong passages from the Bible express the anguish of dislocation: of hurt and betrayal, of life that doesn’t make sense, of God who seems not to care or even exist. Most important, these accusations contained in the Bible itself are framed as prayers.” (Italics mine) Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference p. 40

Jesus’ Story of Praying a Supernatural Prayer:

How can we honor Jeff’s feelings and questions without having all the answers for him? By sharing how Christ chose to fulfill prophecy, hanging on the cross, crying out to His Father, “My God, My God, WHY?” – and asking the very same question arising from our hearts… after Jesus has:

• lost blood
• been abandoned and denied by those closest to Him
• with His nerves on fire from the nails piercing His hands and feet
• feeling totally forsaken and rejected by His Father in His deepest, darkest moment
• as He was embracing all our sins, and the consequences of sin – the ‘second death’ of eternal separation from His Father (Revelation 2:11; 20:6, 14; 21:8)

Christ chose to go through this situation, crying out Psalm 22:1, struggling with the same question we have. Jesus did this so we can fully understand that He knows what we have gone through. He wants us to appreciate that He knows the cries of our hearts because as He has already been there before us so He can be there for us now.

Faith Versus Quick Answers:

And even though He did not receive a quick answer resolving His intense pain and abuse, He chose to also trust His Father by faith, not by sight. After being completely honest with His Father, He chose to be completely surrendered, with another prayer, “Into YOUR hands I commit MY Spirit,” leading Him to be completely victorious so He could offer His faith, His surrender and His victory to that little girl and to us. And because He defeated the devil, ‘destroying him who has had the power of death – that is, the devil’ (Heb. 2:14), He can offer that girl safety for eternity, without sin, without abuse, without suffering – when He will ‘wipe away every tear’ (Rev. 7:17; 22:4), as He holds all the abusers, manipulators and violators accountable, along with those who protect molesters and abusers.

I’ve had the privilege of praying with many people struggling with this question – wondering how they can trust God, especially in the area of sexual abuse, wondering why God would allow this to happen. When this question comes up, as it will, I can connect their story to the supernatural story of Jesus, combining His divinity with their humanity, praying:

Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You for choosing to go through the same experiences I’ve gone through, asking why this was happening to You, without getting a quick fix for Your intense pain and suffering… fulfilling prophecy so You could identify with me. So You could embrace all my questions, all my confusion, doubt and frustration, taking all of this to death on Your cross. And rise again, to heal me, as I receive Your faith, Your love and the promise of eternity filled with safety because of the way You have destroyed the works of the devil.” In Your precious name, Amen.

As we continue meeting to pray, asking the Lord to reveal anything keeping them from receiving His peace, they begin to experience the supernatural peace that can only come from God. It’s deeper than denial or pushing the questions out of sight. It’s bringing them directly to the throne of grace to receive God’s mercy, love and faith while we wait for the answers. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Or as C.S. Lewis said, “I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer.”

Next Week – Jesus Personal Identification With Rejection:

How many of us have felt rejected by someone close to us…especially by one or both of our parents? Jesus’ Father affirmed Him at different times in His ministry, saying the words so many of us long to hear, “This is My Son (or daughter), in whom I am well pleased.” Next week we will continue our journey into the heart of Calvary to see how Jesus identifies with us in our rejection, in His story that is simple – yet supernatural, as Jesus reveals the reason He is asking “WHY?”

What do all the following behaviors have in common? And what is the most important question we can ask ourselves if we are going to overcome them?

They are all addictions designed to distract us from negative feelings growing out of the negative beliefs in our hearts.

The Most Important Question:

When it comes to overcoming all these struggles – and every other addiction, which is stronger?

• Jesus’ victory He has already gained? Or…
• Your sincerity, trying harder and harder to do what you are already unable to do?

How can Jesus identify with us trusting in our own strength to try and feel good instead of turning to God? He can’t because He never sinned. But the writer of Hebrews tells us:

• Jesus was made like us in every way
• Jesus suffered being tempted like us in every way.

Jesus fulfilled prophecy when they placed a wine-vinegar mix on His lips, (Psalm 69:21), tempting Him to trust in His own strength to protect Himself by numbing His pain as He was hanging on the cross, after He:

• had lost water and blood
• had lost all support from His friends
• had been nailed to the cross with His nerves on fire
• had a crown of thorns on His head with blood streaming down His face
• had to pay the price of agonizing pain every time He breathed in or breathed out with slivers in His back
• had experienced the greatest pain of all – that sense of eternal separation from His heavenly Father, the “second death,” as He was “made to be sin,” for all of us so we could receive His righteousness.

Because Jesus said no to this temptation to numb His pain – choosing to trust in His Father’s love, He has earned the right to heal us and set us free from every temptation to numb our pain – including, but not limited to pornography.

Pornography is sin. And 50% or more of men IN church struggle with pornography. Adam chose Eve over God and men have been falling in this area ever since. Fortunately, God’s Word tells us there is a belief system behind the behavior of looking at pornography. As I prayed with Rick, who was struggling with a 20 year addiction to pornography threatening his marriage and family, he realized he was focusing more on trying to stop his sinful behavior than receiving healing from Christ. Rick allowed Christ, the ‘Wonderful Counselor’ to:

• Reveal the ‘roots’ or negative belief of rejection behind his addiction
• Reconnect this area of his heart with Christ’s heart as He saw Christ being tempted to numb His pain instead of trusting God, and Christ being rejected to connect His story with Rick’s story or rejection
• Release everything keeping his sense of rejection that was driving his addiction to pornography
• Replace his pattern of self-protection with Jesus’ life, so Rick is receiving Jesus’ forgiveness, purity and acceptance (see diagram below)

Rick’s Pattern of Sinfulness and Brokenness	Fruit & Root of Sin	Rick RECEIVING Jesus’ Resurrection Power
Rick’s sinfulness Rick choosing to trust in pornography to numb his pain instead of trusting God   Rick’s rejection	Rick’s Behavior Of Porn =  Sinful FRUIT   Rick’s Negative Beliefs = ROOTS	Jesus being made ‘sin’ for Rick to identify with his story of sin Jesus’ forgiveness for Rick choosing to trust in pornography instead of God Jesus’ purity in place of Rick’s pornography Jesus acceptance in place of Rick’s rejection

As Rick received more and more of Jesus’ life living inside his body, mind and soul, Jesus’ story of saying ‘no’ to numbing His pain, was stronger than biology and the pull of sin. Jesus’ purity and victory over temptation was much more powerful than Rick’s sincerity. Jesus’ the 2^nd Adam (Romans 5) was living inside and through Rick allowing him to rebuild trust with his wife as well. (Click here to read his full testimony on our ‘Testimonies’ page)

Next Week – Jesus Personal Identification With A Painful Question:

A friend of mine, author Cheryl Ricker, has a blog, www.cherylricker.com. An old friend of hers wrote in to ask where was God when a young girl was raped and killed. And if God is a God of love, why would He allow this to happen? Next week we will see how Jesus identifies with Cheryl’s friend and his critically important question – in a very personal way.

I can only begin to imagine the pain and shame these children go through…. and I’ve seen the guilt their parents carry as well once they find out.

What I can say is that Straight 2 the Heart’s ministry offers healing and freedom because of the way Jesus Christ fulfilled very specific prophecies, including being beaten so badly that you couldn’t recognize Him as a human being (Isaiah 52:14). Jesus chose to identify with and connect His story of suffering with these children so He could heal them and set them free, (Malachi 4:2; Luke 4:18). To earn this right, Jesus fulfilled prophecy as He was:

1. Stripped naked by a group of men.

2. Physically violated by a group of men, multiple times, in public.

3. Shamed and humiliated while they were doing this in public.

4. Verbally and mentally abused by these men throughout multiple trials.

5. By the men in power over Him, (both civil and religious).

This is a “rubber-meets-the-road-Jesus” who took all this abuse on Himself, so He could defeat Satan, the source of all abuse… so He could heal these broken hearts in this fallen world…. I see the pain of sexual abuse all the time in my ministry. And I see the power of Jesus to heal hearts, increase trust in Him and rebuild lives so the past loses its negative power in their lives. I see it replaced by His peace that is supernatural, not natural… moving many of these women and men to help others who have been abused…turning the tide toward healing instead of abuse.

In addition to sharing how Jesus’ chose to be violated and abused, I have used resources like Steve Siler’s musical, “I Can’t Talk About It.” Steve’s musical is a simple, gentle, yet profound play sharing about a young girl being abused by her father – and how she finds the words to talk about it. I’ve worked with many who couldn’t get past the pain of the abuse because they’ve trained themselves not to feel and/or because of other reasons. This musical reaches their heart time and again, (see www.musicforthesoul.org for this resource and many others).

I wish this kind of abuse wasn’t happening, and I’m thankful we can offer them hope and healing similar to what Tim shares about in the following testimony.

My brother Joe lives in Costa Rica, directing the Straight 2 the Heart’s Spanish ministry. Here is a testimony from a ministry to a man who had been sexually abused by his uncle. This testimony helps us to begin understanding how we can move from presenting information about Jesus, our Suffering Messiah, to applying this information so we can experience transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Tim’s story:

“I can never tell,” he said through the tears streaming down his face. “I’ve only told one other person in my whole life”.

He was struggling to put into words an event that had altered his childhood, taking away his security, joy and innocence in one moment and replacing those positive emotions with hate, vengeance, guilt and a resoluteness to hide the dark, painful secret.

When Tim was a child, an uncle had sexually molested him. Because this uncle was his father’s favorite brother, Tim thought that his father would not believe him if he told him. He also thought about how this bombshell could destroy the family.  So he kept silent about it, biding his time, waiting for the day when justice would prevail.

We prayed, thanking Jesus for choosing to be stripped naked and physically violated to identify with Tim in this very personal way, and to take away all his pain, all his anger, hate, vengeance and inability to tell anyone. And as we continued praying to “Christ the Wonderful Counselor,” who rose again to “heal him and set him free,” Tim experienced peace for the first time in years. This peace would be tested sooner than we anticipated.

A few days after the first prayer time, Tim received visitors. He was expecting his mother and younger brothers and was looking forward to the opportunity to visit with them.  When he opened the door, there was his father, with the uncle who had molested him, standing in front of him.

When I visited him the following week, he told me what had happened. I was so surprised that I wasn’t sure what to say, so I asked him how he felt. He said that when he saw his uncle, he felt sadness for him, and wanted to tell him that he forgave him. He couldn’t tell him right at that moment, as this would have revealed to his father what had happened. Somehow, God had replaced the hate for pity, vengeance for forgiveness with a simple – yet supernatural story.

This story is just one example of an opportunity to share the gospel of Jesus connecting His story with our story, through His suffering, death and resurrection with anyone who has ever been abused or violated. What a Savior! What a gospel bringing good news – great news!

(This story has been altered to protect the identity of “Tim”, including the name)

Sample Prayer:

“Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You for knowing my story of being physically and     sexually violated – choosing to fulfill prophecy so You could embrace all my  anger, shame and pain from being violated. Thank You for rising again to heal my wounded heart, setting me free to receive Your purity and my truest, deepest identity as Your son or daughter.

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.

Next Week: How could a sinless Savior identify with our choice of addictions, whether it is food, pornography, alcohol, drugs, work, anger, trying harder to do more, being better than others etc.? And how does He offer practical help to us when we are struggling with negative patterns with our thoughts, feelings and behaviors?

How Can Jesus, the All-Powerful Savior Connect His Story With Our Story Of Life-Threatening, Bone-Jarring, Visible and Invisible, Soul-Damaging Physical Abuse?

• Every 9 seconds, a woman is battered in the U.S.
• 95% of all victims of domestic violence are women
• Domestic Violence is the single major cause of injury to women, more than muggings and car accidents combined – 50% of all women murdered in the United States are killed by a spouse or an acquaintance
• Domestic Violence occurs in 60% of marriages and is the most underreported crime
• Domestic Violence is responsible for a $3 to $5 billion loss each year for employers due to absenteeism with over $2 billion in medical and mental health treatment costs every year[i]

How Can Jesus Identify With Us When We Have Experienced Physical Abuse?

Jesus Christ, our ‘Suffering Messiah” chose to include physical abuse as a part of prophecy in His Father’s plan of salvation, (Isaiah 50:5-6; 52:14; 53:10-11; Luke 22:24-26; Acts 2:23-24).

God’s Salvation Story Is NOT a “G” Rated Story:

How bad was the abuse Jesus went through?

If we were there, we would have been unable to recognize Him as a human being, as He fulfilled Isaiah’s prophecy predicting that:

• His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness (in other words, they turned Jesus’ body into a piece of ground up hamburger and we would never recognize Him as a human being)
• Jesus would not turn away. He offered His back to those who beat Him, His cheeks to those who pulled out His beard; Jesus did not hide His face from mocking and spitting. (Isaiah 50:5-6)

Listen to Michael Card’s description of the whip used by the Romans soldiers in his insightful book A Violent Grace:

“This instrument of torture consisted of long leather straps embedded with pieces of bone or glass.

Occasionally lead balls were woven into the thongs to increase the impact of

the blows. And while the law of Moses stipulated a maximum of forty lashes

minus one, no such limit existed in Roman law or practice…

In fact, the only stipulation Roman law made was that a man would be flogged

until the flesh hung from his back. The blows fell until the skin split open and the muscles were severed;

until ligaments tore and bones chipped. Some men were disemboweled. Many did not survive.”[ii] (italics mine)

Invisible Injuries

Jesus went through all of this abuse to embrace the visible and invisible wounds in our bodies and our hearts. He knew that the deeper pain of physical abuse actually lies in the wounds they leave in the depths of our souls. We can’t see these injuries any more than we can see the blood vessels breaking inside our skin – but they are just as real. And because our ‘soul’ represents the deepest part of our being, our identity about who we are, these invisible wounds last long after our body heals the physical wounds and bruises. In fact, they can and will last a lifetime if we don’t bring them to Jesus Christ, our ‘Wounded Healer.’[iii]

Satan whispers his messages in ‘first person language,’ creating the ‘roots’ of negative beliefs with thoughts like:

• I’m worthless – I’m hopeless
• I’m powerless – I’m helpless
• I’m unlovable – I can’t trust anyone
• I’m a throw-away – I don’t deserve any better
• I’m more afraid of being alone than being abused
• I don’t know how I will provide for myself and my children.

Jesus chose to embrace all our abuse in His humanity, as the “Lamb slain from the FOUNDATION of the world,” (Rev. 13:8), so He could earn the right to earn our trust and heal our wounded hearts.

As we turn to Jesus to trust Him with our brokenness God can turn our wounds into His gold mine of grace, telling us:

• what we learned to believe about ourselves, and
• how Jesus can identify with us
• so we can receive His healing and ‘peace that passes understanding’ (Phil. 4:7),
• moving us into ministry for others who have been hurt and abused in life.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for voluntarily choosing to identify with me when you were physically abused, suffering all the temptations to believe You were worthless or powerless – to trust in Your own strength, Your own anger to protect yourself. And turning to Your Father instead, embracing all my pain and anger, with all the negative messages I’ve received, so You can heal me and set free to receive my truest, deepest identity as Your son/daughter.”

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.

Physical abuse can leave scars on bodies and hearts. Sexual abuse can at times leave even deeper wounds. Next week we will explore how Jesus can minister to the brokenness of a sexually abused person, showing how where sin abounds grace does much more abound!

For a more profound understanding of the Suffering Messiah, please visit our resources tab where you will find audio presentations on such topics as:

• The Hidden Half of the Gospel
• Freedom from Shame and Guilt
• Freedom from Anger and Rage
• Freedom from Satan’s Secret Weapon

“Reeling from the past to the future like a bouncing pinball – from terror to regret.

Betrayal stalks and haunts. It turns the past into a long series of questions and doubts.

Betrayal isolates.

It takes us to the end of a long, lonely dirt road and unceremoniously dumps us without

provision or promise of help…    (The Healing Path)

Jesus’ knew we would experience the soul-searing pain of betrayal. He knew wives would be betrayed by their husbands – and husbands by their wives. Jesus knew that men and women would be ripped off by those managing their retirement accounts and pensions. And He knew that it would take our breath away, sucking the wind out of our sails of hope, shipwrecking us on the island of brokenness and self-doubt. Christopher Blake tells us that an affair is not ‘making love.’ He describes what is really being made:

“When two people have made sex outside of marriage, to be truly accurate we sadly need to describe what else they were probably making. They were making tears. There were making lies. They were making guilt. They were making regrets. Because these are what accompany the mere making of sex without the responsibility and depth and nourishment of committed love…. (Christopher Blake) (italics ours)

Every woman I’ve prayed with has asked the same question, in one form or another, when she discovers that her husband is seeing another woman and/or looking at pornography: “Why am I not good enough?”

After the initial shock begins to wear off, every person who has been betrayed is tempted by Satan to protect themselves from being hurt again. He whispers in that woman’s ear,

• “You can’t forgive or trust your husband”
• “You can’t trust men”
• “You cant trust God because He allowed you to feel this horrible, heart-breaking pain”
• “You can only trust your anger to protect you from being hurt again.”

Jesus knows all of this. So He chose to fulfill prophecy, being betrayed:

Because Jesus chose to trust His Father with all the pain and agony in His heart, He has earned the right to:

Below is a sample prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for choosing to feel the deep, soul-searing pain of betrayal, with all the temptations to trust in Your own strength, Your own anger to protect yourself. And turning to Your Father instead, embracing all my pain and anger, so You can heal me and set free to receive my truest, deepest identity as Your son/daughter.”

In Your name, Jesus, Amen.

This prayer can bring healing to hearts wounded by betrayal. Now the question is, what about the betrayer? The person who has sinned against someone else? How can Jesus, our “Suffering Messiah” connect His perfect, spotless life with the darkness of selfishness that leaves the sinner feeling dirty, unclean, hopeless and worthless?

We will begin to unfold this and more in our upcoming posts. Stay tuned!

I hear this statement time and again after I have shared the specific ways Jesus fulfilled prophecy as our “Suffering Messiah.”

Listen to the plea of a 56 year old divorcee sharing her pain of loneliness with a national study on loneliness:

“It can be overwhelming at times, a physical sensation. My doctors have

called it depression, but there is a difference. I read once, you are born

alone and you die alone.

But what about all the years in-between? Can you really belong to someone else? Can you ever resolve the inner feelings of being alone?

• Shopping won’t do it.
• Eating won’t do it.
• Random sex doesn’t make it go away.

If and when you find any answers, please write back and tell me.”[i]

How does Jesus help her with her plea for answers?

In the book of Acts, her Savior was identified as:

Why was it so important for Jesus to be the “Suffering Messiah?”

So He could:

• Experience everything she experiences, suffering (in principle) everything she suffers, including her loneliness (and ours)
• Earning the right to earn her trust as He identifies with her (and us)
• Fulfilling HIS mission statement to “heal her broken heart and set her free.”

How can He earn the right to heal her wounded heart?

Jesus begins His journey to Calvary in the garden, late at night, fulfilling prophecy as those closest to Him leave Him all alone. His three “best friends” are sleeping even while their master lies prostrate, agonizing while the crushing weight of sin pressed upon Him. The perfect Son of God was being made sin (2 Cor. 5:21).

He’d never failed them when they asked for help. And now, when He needs their comfort and support most, all He hears is soft breathing. All He can see through tear stained eyes are three bodies curled up on the ground. He realizes that He’s alone, even when they are so close to Him. He’s abandoned, after He has pleaded with them for their support in the midst of His suffering.

Isaiah prophesied that He would “trod the winepress alone,” with no one there to support Him. Jesus Himself told His disciples, “You will all leave me alone.” (John 16:32)

Why include the suffering of being alone – especially when He knew it would happen? Because all of us have had a sense of being alone, lonely, isolated or abandoned at some point in our lives – especially when we are born separated from God. Is there an experience in your life when you suffered the emotional pain of being left alone?

Jesus embraced ALL her loneliness, all the ways she has tried to medicate or numb her pain with shopping, food and random sex. He died for her sins – and for her suffering.

Jesus can connect His story to her story. In His humanity He was tempted to numb His pain of loneliness, but He always trusted in His Father. Because of this, in His divinity, He embraced all the loneliness of everyone in the world, including this 56 year old divorcee. If I could meet her today, I would offer her the opportunity to meet “This Jesus who must suffer” as we pray this sample prayer below.

“Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You for fulfilling prophecy when You were lonely and abandoned so You could embrace all my loneliness, taking to death on the cross all the ways I’ve tried to numb my pain with food, shopping or sex. Thank You for rising again to heal my wounded heart, setting me free from loneliness as I receive my truest, deepest identity as Your son, Your daughter. In Your name, Jesus, Amen.”

* Disclaimer: This is a sample prayer, not a formula, not a quick-fix. Straight 2 the

Heart offers a discipleship process leading to deep healing and freedom that:

• takes place over a process of weeks or months
• as we spend quality time at the throne of grace
• in the context of a Christ-centered, cross-centered community of faith

For those who are not familiar with our ministry, permit me to share with you who we are: Straight 2 the Heart is a ministry dedicated to preparing people for God’s kingdom through a:

* Christ-centered    * Cross-centered   * Word-centered   * Prayer-centered discipleship process

Our passion is to see broken hearts healed and captives set free from addictions, abuse, broken relationships, fear, guilt and shame, by connecting them to Christ our “Wonderful Counselor.”

For the first series of blogs, we will be sharing the foundation of Straight 2 the Heart’s message: the “Suffering Messiah.”

Look at the chart below and ask yourself, “What was a key focus for the disciples during their 10 days of praying together in the upper room: (though it was not the only focus)

• Based on Jesus’ testimony to His disciples before and after His crucifixion
• Based on the disciples testimony after they spent 10 days praying together
• Based on their transformation from cowards to fearless witnesses for Jesus
• Based on the testimony of their enemies that they ‘had been with Jesus’?

Jesus’ Disciples Share the Same Message About His Suffering AFTER the Resurrection and AFTER Pentecost In Acts 3 etc.

 “This is how God fulfilled what He had foretold through ALL the prophets, saying His Messiah would SUFFER….as He promised long ago through His holy prophets.” (Acts 3:18, 21­)

The Apostle Paul Sharing the Message of Christ’s Suffering In Acts:

 “As his custom was, Paul went into the synagogue, and on three Sabbath days he reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining and proving that the Christ had to SUFFER and rise from the dead. “This Jesus I am proclaiming to you is the Christ,” he said.” (Acts 17:2-3)

Why did Jesus and His disciples focus so much on His identify as the “Suffering Messiah?”

And how does His suffering help:

• our understanding of the gospel?
• our experiences with suffering?
• our ability to receive help from our ‘Suffering Messiah’ (Hebrews 2:18)?

Next week we will look at how the “Suffering Messiah” answers these questions in our lives and the lives of those we love and care about. And we will find a “Rubber-Meets-the-Road-Savior” who is able to help us in all our struggles and suffering.

With prayers that HIS suffering, death and resurrection will speak to your hearts and minds, bringing His healing, His peace and His truth to your hearts,

Paul Coneff

Director: Straight 2 the Heart, Inc.

www.straight2theheart.com

“For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him

   crucified.” 1 Corinthians 2:2