Straight From The Curls

Word of the Day: No

2012-01-15T20:44:00.002-05:00

This post is a bit of a rant, so proceed at your own risk.

Learning new things is part of evolution. We go from being helpless babies, to learning to standing on our own two feet, to growing into ourselves (or at least, versions of ourselves), to becoming adults with a whole mixed bag of responsibilities. When we allow ourselves to learn about who we are and about the world around us, we inadvertently become better as human beings. At least that's my take on it.

Part of my personal evolution (besides the obvious natural progression), is an effort to train myself in certain aspects. For instance, I had to learn to focus on tasks. When I was younger, I would spend a lot of time taking on various responsibilities, and could only dedicate small amounts of myself to each of them. I would bite off more than I could chew. I didn't think this was very productive, nor was it fair to the tasks I had taken on. As a result, I had to learn to manage time better in order to focus on these tasks. It's not a skill I came wired with. I had to train myself.

Lately, I've been working on something I've struggled with my entire life: Learning to say one simple word more often—No.

I can't tell you the number of times that word has haunted me. It has lived in the bottom of my throat; at the tip of my tongue; I've felt it roll from my brain to my mouth, and I've even breathed it out. Silently. But, for the life of me, I've very rarely been able to let this simple, two-lettered word move past my lips.

And I'm not sure why. More often than not, I let myself get talked into doing things I don't want to do. I end up spending more time focusing on other people's problems instead of my own, and I constantly worry about what people will think, should I choose to say no. And as a result of all this, most people have come to expect me to say 'yes' to things... all the time. Even when I don't feel like it. And I think that's no one's fault but my own.

So I've been making a conscious effort. You know, to say 'no' to things more often? It's been tough, I tell you, but so worth it. At first I was wracked with guilt. And for what? I'm not too sure. Catholic guilt (if it exists), perhaps? I would say no to things, then spend time coming up with explanations as to why I said it. Then I'd feel guilty. Surely "so and so" deserved to know why I wouldn't be her wing woman that Friday night?

But the truth of the matter is that saying no is a right. At least I'm fortunate enough to live in a country where that's the case. I have to remind myself that I can do it. Should do it more often. Shouldn't feel guilty when I do do it.

A confession? I've had to practice saying this word in front of the mirror. And it's worked. Saying this word (more than I used to, anyway), has freed up so much time for my own pursuits. And the sad reality is that it's upset quite a few people. But I wonder — should I care that I've upset people who are OK with me putting them ahead of myself all the time? I don't think so. At least I don't think so anymore.

So yes. If you hear me say no, please don't take it personally. If I do it, I probably mean it. It has taken a lot of effort on my part, and I probably won't change my mind.

Time is precious, and I'm (finally) learning to appreciate mine.

xo

Images courtesy of Google Images

2012: Give It Your All

2012-01-01T20:23:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, everyone! Here's wishing you and yours all the very best that 2012 has to offer. May you always have reasons to smile, and may your lives be filled with all the goodness and love that this world has to offer!

I spent quite some time thinking about my first blog post for 2012. I wasn't sure about whether to do a wrap up of the year that was, or to write a post in anticipation of the year that will be. As you can see, I went with the latter choice.

One of my resolutions this year is to live life in forward motion. To let go of the past and to try to be absolutely present in the now. It might sound pretty obvious to you, because why would anyone live their life any other way, right? But you'll see from past posts that I spend far too much time reflecting on what was. I think about moments that shaped and brought me to where I am at a given time. And I believe it's good to do that once in a while, but for the most part, because the past cannot be changed, it's important to keep focusing on what's ahead. And to do it with hope and optimism.

With any luck, 2012 will be marked as a year where I make significant changes in my life. I'm looking forward to accomplishing more goals (personally and with my career). If 2011 taught me anything it's that I am the only person responsible for my happiness. Since moving back from Korea I've spent so much time worrying about my career, that I've lost track of other aspects of my life that are also important —my health, giving back to the community and personal growth. My goal is to get back on top of all those things this year.

Over this past holiday season one of my dear aunts reminded me that every day is an opportunity to do good and to be better. She is in her mid-70s and she wakes up every day with a purpose — to live her life to the fullest, knowing that when she goes to bed at night, she can say with confidence, "I gave it my all." And that's what I want to do, because that's all I can do. Give it my all.

So my wish for you, dear readers, is that you wake up every morning and do the things that make you happy. Find your bliss and revel in it. We don't need to be reminded that life is short. Money will come and money will go, no matter how much we try to control it. People will enter into our lives, and some will stay forever, while others will take off without notice. But we have to move forward. Life doesn't come with a 'pause' or 'reset' button, so we have to keep looking forward and give it our all.

Lots of love,

Images courtesy of Google Images

Homemade Holiday Decorations

2011-12-14T18:14:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have skipped the designer stores this Christmas, and have taken to making homemade decorations for the holidays. I've stumbled across some innovative ideas where regular household items have been converted into elegant decorations with the help of some tender love and care... and not to mention, some glitter and glue! Here are 10 ideas featuring some of my favourite (and easy) DIY Christmas decoration projects.

Old light bulbs repurposed into ornaments with the help of some glitter!

Decorate simple white candles with cinnamon sticks and ribbon. You can also place candles of varying sizes in mason jars and vases, and fill the containers half way up with fresh cranberries or chestnuts for a lovely holiday feel.

Fill clear glass ornaments with creative ideas. I like the peacock feather.

For the Scrabble fanatic! Make an assortment of Christmas words with Scrabble letters.

Use sparkle spray paint on an assortment of branches, and place them in a glass vase for festive cheer. The best part about this DIY is that you can also hang mini ornaments and trinkets from the branches for a personal touch!

I couldn't leave Martha Stewart off this list, could I? I love this beautiful way of displaying Christmas cards. Another simple way is by hanging ribbon from doors and curtain rods, and clipping the cards on with clothespins.

For the music lovers! An easy DIY project with the help of glue and some sheet music.

And the alternative, made with vintage newspaper and glitter. I absolutely adore this!

Decorate a curtain rod with ornaments hung by matching ribbons.

A beautiful DIY wreath that you can hang on your door or over the fireplace.

So there you have it — 10 fun and easy DIY projects for Christmas. Do you have any favourite craft projects for the holidays?

xoxo

Images courtesy of Google Images and Pinterest.com

10 Unique Christmas Trees

2011-12-12T12:10:00.012-05:00

One of my favourite holiday traditions as a child was setting up the Christmas tree with my family. We had a fake one that we reused every year, along with an assortment of antique ornaments (mostly angels and baubles in different colours and sizes). Every year I'd anticipate the beginning of December because it meant the tree would come out of storage, and we'd proceed to adorn it with the usual trimmings — complete with cotton balls to mimic snow. (The joys of growing up in a tropical country!)

There's something absolutely magical about tastefully decorated Christmas trees, isn't there? The lights, the tinsel, the ornaments — the entire package can add warmth and comfort to a room in an instant.

I have decided to dedicate this blog post to a few friends who share my love for Christmas trees. I've curated 10 lovely images featuring fun and creative trees that I'm sure you'll adore. Some are uniquely trimmed, and others are traditional to different parts of the world. Cheers!

Recycled for Christmas

For book lovers everywhere!

Treats of Sushi

Objects of My Affection

99 Bottles of Christmas...

All I want for Christmas is a bicycle... or two.

Taters and Tots for Christmas

Gumdrops and jellybeans, oh my!

Pac-Man for the win!

Ginseng Roots for all! (This one takes me back to my days in South Korea.)

For more fun and festive trees from around the world, check out this awesome slide show, over at NYDailyNews.com. What do you think of these trees? Do you have a personal favourite? If you have your own collection of unique Christmas tree images, you can always share them on our Facebook page.

xoxo

Images courtesy of Google Images

Festive Baking

2011-12-09T13:41:00.005-05:00

We're almost at mid-December, and I'm starting to get into the festive spirit. I've always enjoyed baking, and I think the Christmas season begs for some relaxing time spent in the kitchen. Yes, I said 'kitchen' and 'relaxing' in the same sentence!

Nothing brings me more joy over the holidays than setting aside time to listen to carols, while baking festive treats for friends and family. How comforting is the smell of freshly baked shortbread? What about ginger molasses cookies? These smells send me into a state of nostalgia —the good kind! The kind where every one of my senses gets engulfed in happy memories.

So I thought I'd take this opportunity to share some of my favourite recipes with you. These aren't family secrets (I'll save those for another post... maybe!), but they're a blend of tried and trues, and ones I'd like to attempt over the holidays this year.

Classic shortbread cookies, all dolled up for the holidays. Shortbread cookies are my standard go-to when it comes to baking. Easy, delicious, and SO much fun to decorate.

I get especially excited over Christmas time because Hershey's brings out their Candy Cane Kisses. These beauties are chocolate peppermint cookies with Candy Cane Kisses. A delicious blend of some of my favourite things!

One of my best recipes for family and friends is this delicious chocolate chip cheesecake, with an Oreo cookie crust. It took me a few tries to get it right, but now it's a recipe I turn to at almost any celebration.

My friend Melissa baked these fantastic vanilla bean cupcakes, with strawberry buttercream during a get together this past weekend. She found the recipe online. The cupcakes are delicious by themselves, but the buttercream is unbelievable. She took fresh strawberries and mixed them in a food processor, then added them to the buttercream. The result? Buttercream that tastes more like strawberries than sugar. Delicious!

Love 'em or leave 'em, no Christmas bake-a-thon is complete without a classic rum fruitcake. My mother has a great recipe that she turns to every year. She even soaks the fruit slices in rum, months ahead. The smell of the cake baking in the oven sends me into nostalgic overdrive.

So what are your festive baking plans for Christmas? Do you have your own tried and true recipes you turn to? Or perhaps you're attempting something new this year? Do you have any secret recipes passed down through the generations? I'd love to hear from you.

Whatever you find yourself doing in preparation for Christmas, I hope you have fun! I hope you're surrounded by love and laughter, and that your experiences give way to wonderful memories you'll cherish and turn to in the years to in the years to come.

xoxo

Images courtesy of Pinterest.com and Google Images

Twinkle Happy

2011-11-30T22:31:00.001-05:00

I've found a new guilty pleasure online. It's this fantastic site called Pinterest, and I'm absolutely hooked. I posted an entry a few months back with some lovely images I found on that site — Paper Inspired. It's actually one of the most popular posts on this blog.

So since we're into December, and with the holidays just around the corner, I thought I'd share some of my favourite images that add a little twinkle to my day. These are also easy do-it-yourself projects, which can completely change the ambiance in your space. Who knew you could do so much with mason jars?!

xoxo

Images courtesy of Pinterest.com

Quit the Quiet

2011-11-30T11:36:00.000-05:00

I'm horrified at how long it's been since I posted a blog entry. Straight From The Curls used to be my safe place. I would find solace in my writing. I would come here to de-stress and share little pieces of my life with you. And for the past few months it's been impossible to spare a few moments to just breathe and let my thoughts process.

I don't like how things are at the moment, so rest assured that one of my resolutions for the coming year will be to find my way back to Straight From The Curls on a more frequent basis. 2011 will go down in history as one of the most tumultuous years of my life. There have been health scares, career ups and downs, utter confusion about life choices, and moments when I've truly felt alone in this big world. Perhaps it sounds a bit dramatic, but I can say with certainty that I am coming out of a messy mid-twenties crisis — partially of my own making, and partially the result of external factors.

On the plus side, this year also acknowledged a couple of positive firsts in terms of my career — editing my first nationally produced magazine and a monthly stint as a health columnist. Two things that I only dreamed about a couple of years back. It's been a tough year, but I got what I asked for, so I've been lucky.

I'm making a few changes in 2012. It's funny how people get so introspective at this time of the year, huh? For one thing, I've been reducing my lists on social media. I think it's great that 'Sally' from elementary school wants to become friends on Facebook, but if the only reason she's adding me is to troll around my profile and not say a word, then chances are, Sally, I'm going to delete you asap.

Isn't it funny? Did you ever think in, say... 2002, that this would even be a problem 10 years down the road? About someone from your past who you've made no efforts to stay in touch with, all of a sudden resurfacing, and with the click of a few buttons goes on to find out about what you've been up to since your grade eight graduation? Not cool.

Life certainly has changed a lot in the past decade. And it's weird, but I think more and more people are remaining static instead of changing along with the ebbs and flows of life. We're spending way too much time in front of a computer screen, watching other people live their lives, instead of actually making our own memories. Adding chapters to our own lives.

I know that for now, I won't be able to fully disconnect from social media. It's part of my job, and it's part of how I share my work. In fact, as soon as I publish this post, it will appear on my Twitter and Facebook feeds. But I'm hoping I can change the way I use social media. I'm hoping that it's something I can turn to when I need it, as opposed to logging on out of habit. Someone referred to it as social media snacking.

Definitely need to cut back on the social media snacks.

xo

Image courtesy of Pinterest.com

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T21:12:00.000-04:00

Guest Post: The Happiest Rooms

2011-10-31T20:36:00.000-04:00

Hello, I’m Joanna, a writer for Arcadian Lighting, a great source for beautiful lighting. My work takes me daily around the world (via the Internet) on a mission to find the most incredible interior designs and furnishings on the Web. Thanks to Straight from the Curls for letting me share with you!

Bright colors make us happy, energize us, and generally, make us feel good. When creating a home with bright colors, decorating ideas are seemingly limitless. Whether you add pops of color with colorful glass light fixtures or lots of color with a brightly-hued area rug, you’ll find it brings joy to your everyday life. Here are some of the happiest rooms around!

This warm orange sitting area feels very Indian with its carved settee, textured fabrics and lovely tasseled pillows. An adjustable floor lamp adds a modern touch to an otherwise classic space.

Cheery lemon-yellow chairs brighten this transitional space while light blue walls reflect ambient light from the room’s large windows.

Lemon and lime furnishings brighten this city apartment with its pale gray walls and floor. Yellow panels on the windows welcome the natural light in to illuminate the room even more.

We’ve been having a romance with turquoise for awhile now. We see it everywhere: on walls, floors, beds, pillows and even lighting fixtures. This room, with its high white floor and furnishings, enjoys a bit of color with a boastful blue wall.

We love, love, love this pink and white dressing room! A fun floral lining in the open-faced armoire and on the pouf, make way for the brilliant fuchsia of the accent walls and rug.

The color of nature, green (in all its hues) is everywhere. This living room is a perfect example of how shades of green can flow together to create a cohesive and naturally happy environment.

In such a traditional setting, one might think lime green and aqua inappropriate. We beg to differ, this room makes us smile, especially those curvy green lamps and their interesting shades.

This room is so energetic and fun…I love the floral ceiling. The crisp light flowing through the large windows highlights a sumptuous purple rug.

Discover a wide variety of design ideas to suit your every mood over at Arcadian Lighting's blog!

Arcadian Lighting is the best source for lighting fixtures and accessories at discount prices. Arcadian Lighting has been in the lighting industry for over 15 years selling decorative home lighting fixtures and lamps online, and has become one of the top Internet retailers for home lighting products.

A World Without Jerks?

2011-09-29T21:09:00.004-04:00

Generally speaking, we're a bunch of jerks. We really are. I don't know if it's because I've experienced a terrible couple of incidents over the last few hours, but right now, I've got a general distaste for humanity.

A few months back I noticed a new ad campaign become prevalent on TTC billboards in Toronto. The campaign, featuring simple graphics and text, is part of this movement encouraging people to do good. It's called the People For Good project.

When I first stumbled across it, I couldn't help but smile, because I thought, "Wow! Here's a group of people who truly want to do well by this world. What a refreshing use of ad space!"

As time went by I began to notice more of these posters, and not just on the TTC anymore. The campaign had spread to the street, stores, and to bus shelters across the city.

I never really thought Toronto was a bad city, you know? I never thought it was filled with people who turn to anger before kindness, and selfishness over simple human consideration. I mean, I understood the point of the campaign, but I didn't think we needed to be reminded of it everywhere we went... to choose good.

But after my experiences this evening hit a boiling point, I realized just how essential it was. The sad reality is that we NEED to be reminded to do good. To be good. To choose good.

Today was a good day. After a stream of not-so-good days, I welcomed the end of my working hours, and headed to to the subway for my daily ride home. I stopped off to pick up my October metro-pass at the TTC booth, and after paying with my debit card, I asked the collector for a receipt. This request was met with a series of angry remarks from him, along with demeaning comments at a very loud tone:

"You already have your debit receipt!"

"You already have a receipt in your hand, why do you need another one? Can't you see what's already in your hand?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid? Woman, just get out of here!"

My request was simple: I asked him to provide me with an additional receipt to go along with my purchase, because another TTC employee had informed me in previous months, that this was needed for my own accounting purposes. But the employee from today's incident didn't want to hear it. Instead of explaining it to me simply, or asking me for my reason, he chose to yell and humiliate me in front of a growing line of customers.

If I didn't need an additional receipt, he simply had to tell me. If he didn't understand my request, he simply had to ask me. There was no need to yell.

Anyway, I walked away feeling about two feet tall, and completely embarrassed. All because I made a simple request. And for the record, I always pay with my debit card, and when I ask for a receipt, other TTC employees always provide a written one... that includes their signature and employee number.

*Deep Breath*

So suffice to say, my good day did a 180 and turned utterly horrible from this single incident. An incident that could have been avoided with simple customer service (that the TTC prides itself in delivering), active listening and understanding.

Then, while I was getting on the train, I saw a young man standing in the doorway while people were trying to get on. He was blocking the entrance, and making people walk around him, while he stood there with his backpack.

After a number of people squeezed through, one older man said, "Do you mind moving in a bit please? There's people trying to get on."

This simple comment made the young man so angry. The audacity that someone asked him to move in and show some consideration to the people trying to get on the train.

He smirked and responded with, "Show some respect! Why do you care where I stand?"

Really? Show some respect? You're saying this to an older man who is asking you to show some consideration. The way I see it, you and your 15-year-old self have a lot to learn about respect. And of course he cares where you stand. We all do! Especially when where you choose to stand is making it difficult for other people to get into the train.

Most days, I just really don't understand people.

And then I got to thinking about this campaign. Wow! How desperately do we need it? How desperately do we need to be reminded that life doesn't have to move at a thousand miles a minute? That we don't need to be so quick to jump to judgment. That a wee bit of understanding can make such a huge difference in situations, and in life all together.

What's to gain out of being mean? All you're doing is hurting someone else. I understand that some situations warrant quick wit and rebuttal, because let's face it -- some people deserve what's coming to them. But in everyday behaviour? What do we have to gain by being rude? Unless you're some sort of sadist who thrives on the misfortune of others and from making people feel beneath you. If that's the case, I feel sorry for you. Life is about so much more than sitting on a high chair and looking down your nose at people.

There's something to be said about really connecting with people. About listening. About paying attention to things that don't necessarily involve you. About having points in your day, week, month, where you choose selflessness and kindness.

Doing good and seeing the reaction you get from your actions -- the smiles, the aura that changes from one of darkness and doom to hopefulness? There's nothing quite like it. It fills your soul and it becomes contagious.

So try it. Choose good. Do good. And watch how the wave spreads and takes over humanity. There really is no catch.

Call me a hopeless optimist, but I truly believe (down to my toes) that it's possibl/

xo
Simi
Images Courtesy of Google Images

9/11 - You May Say I'm a Dreamer

2011-09-11T22:01:00.003-04:00

"You may say I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us.
And the world will live as one."
- John Lennon

A lot of people have spent today reflecting on their whereabouts exactly 10 years ago. Almost everyone can perhaps remember where they were, and what they were doing when they found out the twin towers in New York City had come down, as the result of a terrorist attack.

Me? I was one week into my grade 11 year in high school. I can't quite remember which class I was in while it was happening, but I do remember where I was when I found out. Our second period English teacher had been called away with the rest of the staff for an 'emergency meeting.' When she came back into the classroom, she looked pale and obviously shaken up. She, then, choosing the best words she could muster given the situation, proceeded to tell us that there was an 'attack' in New York City, and that we wouldn't be on a regular schedule for the rest of the day. Little did I realize that the schedule I'd known up until that point, would never be the same again. Not for me. Not for the rest of the world.

2001 was a pivotal year in my life. I turned 16 that summer, to a lot of chaos, both personally, and externally. I never realized that the events of that year would have ramifications so far into the future.

I'm not going to go into details about my thoughts on the fact that this tragedy has resulted in more wars and hate crimes in our world. But suffice to say, I don't think we've learned anything since the tragedy that was 9/11. That, in and of itself, is it's own kind of tragedy.

I do believe, however, that a new generation with a new understanding has emerged -- one that strives for peace, and is fueled by hope. It's inspiring.

But there are still a lot of people in power -- the decision makers and influencers -- who are choosing not to promote change for the better. They're encouraging hate in political platforms, and are drawing lines among citizens who should be working together for the common good. They're promoting fear, when they should be encouraging hope and love.

Call me dramatic, but this is just how I see it right now. I sometimes catch the broadcasts on conservative news networks, and get goosebumps. I can't believe people are allowed to stand on their soapboxes and say the things they do. It's all so heartbreaking.

Here's my hope.

I'm hoping that 10 years from now, we'll be able to look back as a world that's managed to piece itself together. That we're encouraging peace and taking the time to break down walls. That we're teaching our children to think and act with love in their hearts, rather than hate. And that our priorities remain more focused on engaging in discourse where we're actually listening to each other, instead of focusing on getting the last word.

It might be a tall order, but a girl can imagine, right?

I'd like to end this post with one of my favourite singers, Neil Young, performing a tribute cover of John Lennon's iconic song, Imagine.

Here's wishing you, dear readers, lots of love and peace, from my heart to yours.

xo
Simi

A Mini-Break

2011-08-24T17:24:00.000-04:00

Well, folks, as of tonight, I'm off on a mini-break. I'll be seeing a dear friend exactly a year to the day we last saw each other, and I'll be taking in the sights and sounds of a city I've only heard wonderful things about. I can't tell you how excited I am. Here's hoping the tornado watch over Toronto lifts within the next 12 hours, so I can get on my flight, and head to my destination of choice.

Here are some hints as to where I'll be for the next few days. A follow-up post with photos is definitely in the cards, so stay tuned!

xo
Simi

Images courtesy of Pinterest.com

Creative photos

2011-08-19T23:21:00.002-04:00

I found these photos on Pinterest (my new favourite online haunt). Again, I am amazed by how creative some people can be. These photos are simple, yet elegant. Understated, but so visually stunning. What do you think?

xo
Simi

Images courtesy of Pinterest.com

Paper Inspired

2011-08-18T11:05:00.001-04:00

I'm always in awe of creative thinkers and innovators. People who take simple, everyday things and make them beautiful. Case and point -- these artists, who have taken their love for words, letters, script, and literature to a whole new level.

Spectacular!

Who would have thunk it? Such a fun idea!

So true. If only we chose listen to those stories, instead of the superficial.

Brilliant idea.

I wouldn't even open this gift if it came my way. So well presented.

Love!

xo
Simi

Images courtesy of Pinterest.com

Quest for Better

2011-08-16T11:14:00.001-04:00

Another birthday passed by me last last weekend. Each year, this day becomes less significant. This one passed by in an August breeze... But it was different.

This time, to a full moon. To a meteor shower. To a big change at work. To the realization that I'm surrounded by more love and luxuries than I imagined having in my life. That last one is what I need to reflect on today.

I've been so busy focusing on all that's missing, that I've completely lost sight of what's actually here, right within arms reach.

I realize my last couple of posts seemed a bit melancholy, and to be honest, quite depressing. Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I realize things weren't that bad.

But I guess that's just it, right? When you're experiencing a shift in your life, whether good or bad, it seems like the biggest thing at that moment. It's so easy to lose sight of the big picture.

I've always been an optimist. Well, no. My friend, S, might beg to differ, actually. But I think more often than not, I've been more 'glass half full' than 'glass half empty'. Perhaps that's why you all freak out when you stumble across one of my oh-so-tragic posts. (Sorry about that by the way. Yikes!)

So in keeping with the optimism, I should say I'm grateful. I know it's a matter of perspective, but I'm fortunate enough to be one of the 7 billion people on this planet who has access to a lifestyle that most only dream of. I have safety, food, clothing, a job, friends, hobbies... and I have opportunities.

That last one is a biggy. It's a perk. Opportunities arise out of chance and circumstance, and when they present themselves, we should jump all over them. Why take for granted a luxury not known to so many?

So my goal in the coming months is to continue being grateful for all this and more. Every day is an opportunity to do better and to be better. And I want to be better.

Xo
Simi

Step, Pump!

2011-08-01T22:09:00.000-04:00

If you're looking for a laugh today.

Have I mentioned how much I love YouTube?

Memories that were

2011-07-31T13:30:00.005-04:00

Its a funny thing, life. Full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and other similar cliches. Never consistent, really. And through it all there exists this invisible club that dictates a set of rules you should abide by in order to classify your life as 'normal'.

What does that word really mean, anyway? 'Normal.' Anyone who thinks they have this whole life business figured out is in even more denial than Michael Jackson was about his sexuality. (Too soon?)
I'm writing this post today because I once again find myself at a very strange juncture in life.

Perhaps it's because I've disconnected so much lately, or perhaps it's because I've forced myself to grow up a lot over the past couple of years (I'm not sure). But I find myself looking at past experiences in my life with renewed perspective. Where before, merely minutes, days, and sometimes even months after said experiences, I would look back and become overwhelmed with raw emotions, (some of which were quite paralyzing), I now find I'm able to look back and compartmentalize the exact feelings I felt during those moments.

A for instance? Well, Craig Armstrong's songs from the Love Actually soundtrack would always make me well up with tears. Why? Christmas 2009. You can check the archives to get an idea of what was going down at that time. It's a bizarre fact to share, but let me explain. For months and months, every time I heard the familiar notes for Prime Minister's Theme, I'd lose it. Not sure why (well, yes...). And Joni Mitchell? Done.

But now all of a sudden when I hear those songs, I'm transported back to the memory that evoked these ridiculous emotions, and I'm content. I don't go through the psychological motions of it any more. It almost feels like I'm watching a movie.

Perhaps I can equate it to something we can all relate to. You know how you'd feel when you liked a girl or boy in grade school (and for some of us, even later), only to find out they didn't feel the same way? Then you know how the emotions would consume you beyond rational thought, to the point where you would feel like your only shot at love and happiness had gone the ways of the dodo? And you know how you spent days on end after that, feeling like you'd never get over it, only to wake up one morning and not have it be the first, second or last thought in your mind?. ...Yea? Well that's sort of what it feels like right now.

I look back on those moments/memories and not only think about the experience, but also think about the way I acted/reacted to them in the days that followed. And then I can't help but laugh.

Why is it that things always appear so much larger than life in the moment? It's almost guaranteed that down the road, if you get through it, the moment will appear as a fragmented speckle in the filing cabinet that is your memory.

I suppose it's easy to lose perspective during experiences that evoke intense emotions. At least in my case. But it's nice to reach a place in life where something that initially absorbed so much thought and mental energy, no longer does. The realization that life's emotional roller coasters eventually have dips and lulls is fantastic. Especially when you initially believed the ride would never end.

I've really come to appreciate the moments not clouded with chaos and uncertainty. And I look forward to the days after a roller coaster where I'm not replaying the ride in my mind... On loop.

It's nice to be able to look back on a memory as a painting on display in the art gallery that is your life. Isn't it?

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Clearing out the cobwebs

2011-07-30T17:23:00.002-04:00

Yep. It's official: I'm definitely not in a good place in my life right now. You know how I know that? I've managed to not put a single word into this blog for over a month. It's the first time this has happened since I first started Straight From The Curls back in 2007.

Thankfully it's the August long weekend, and I've dedicated my time to write. Write for leisure first, and for work second. Ah! I can't tell you how good it feels just now. Just sitting here putting thoughts into words. I can feel myself de-stressing already. Do any of you ever experience that? When you finally find yourself doing something you love for leisure, and you feel all the worries, stress and absolute weight of life just slip away into the shadows? Even if only temporarily? Hmmm...

Since my last post (which was in the middle of June?!?! -- what?!), I've been dealt a couple of unsettling blows by life. But I know as I sit here and write this, that it could be worse. Work has been alright. Some days are better than others... especially because it's a new style of writing, for a new audience, with new demands. But I think I'm working it out. I miss my lifestyle and travel pieces terribly, but I'm continuing to freelance (as much as possible, anyway) for some of the magazines I've worked for, which I'm truly excited about.

I've also been reevaluating my life and the choices I've made to this point. I almost feel like I might have a different purpose... a different calling than what I'm up to these days. I just wish I had more clarity. Perhaps I should put those meditation lessons to some use, huh?

Also, on a side note, I think it's worth mentioning that when I was in Seoul at this time last year, I went to a restaurant where the waitress offered me a cup of Turkish coffee, and then told me she would do a psychic reading. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but as she was doing the reading, she asked me to promise her that I'd go visit my doctor. I just shrugged it off, and went on with my life. I now wish I'd listened to her sooner. Nothing to worry about... just a cautionary tale -- when a psychic makes you pinky promise to go see your doctor, you might want to take that little nugget of information a little more seriously.

In other news, I've also booked a short trip at the end of August to visit a friend in the States. It's really exciting, because it will be exactly a year to the day since we last saw each other. I can't wait! Expect a lot of travel posts from that visit!

Hope all is well with y'all!

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Luck be a pain in the...

2011-06-19T21:03:00.004-04:00

"The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. No one knows why some things work out and some things don't. Why some of us are lucky and some of us get..."

The quote featured above is from the movie Notting Hill. Now before you go off and laugh at my choice of reference, let me plead my case. That quote has been resonating in my mind for the past couple of weeks and after the events of this past Friday evening, it couldn't ring any truer.

I feel as though I'm on this ridiculous roll of bad luck... even though it's not a roll of any kind. It just... is. I always imagined - and to a certain extent believed - that we created our own luck; charted our own destiny. But I realize I'm wrong. Sometimes the way things work out really isn't up to you.

A few weeks back I was informed that a couple of positions became available at my previous place of work. A place I thought I could really thrive in. When I was there, I was told on numerous occasions that there would be no chance of me ever getting hired on full-time because of budget cuts and other issues. So I found another job at a company where I absolutely enjoy working right now.

And it's the first time in a long time that I realized there's truth in the saying, "It's all a matter of timing and good luck."

A lot of successful people will freely admit that they achieved their goals and dreams through hard work, determination, and a 'little' bit of luck. I'm realizing quickly that it's not just luck... it's a whole LOT of luck.

Then, while all this was mulling around in my mind, I spent the last week feeding my brain at this wonderful three-day conference in Toronto, where I had the chance to listen to 50 speakers from different walks of life. Including one Mr. Deepak Chopra, who reminded me about the importance of listening to my heart. And about the importance of self-reflection as well. I used to do this all the time when I was in university... but somewhere between searching for a career and figuring out how this whole 'being a grown-up business' works, I got lost. And to be honest, I feel pretty lost at the moment. I feel like I've lost balance, and I want to find my feet again.

And then, just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse about my life getting all tangled up in itself, I ended last week with my wallet being stolen on the subway.

Yep.

So you can imagine that right now, all I really want to do is look up to the heavens in an open field and scream, "Is that all you've got?!"

I'm frustrated. It seems like these days no matter what I do, I'm either too early or too late. I'd like to be where I need to be on time. Just once. I'd like to be able to say, "I'm going to spend Saturday rolling in my bed, watching movies"... and actually mean it, without having to run around trying to sort out the contents of my lost wallet.

I'd like...

And then I force myself to look at the bigger picture. Last week a young girl in Toronto went for a drive to sort our an errand. She made a regulated turn, and ended up killing a child crossing the street. She didn't plan for that to happen. It just happened. And now her life, and the lives of the families involved, will never be the same again.

The other day a man went out to watch game 7 of the Stanely Cup finals in Vancouver. The Canucks lost, and he ended up in a post-game riot. During this time, he tried protecting a car about to be torched, and ended up getting beaten up by the rioters. I bet he didn't see that coming when he left the house earlier in the day.

So you see where I'm going with this? I'm really starting to believe there's no real formula to this whole luck thing -- it just happens. Que sera sera. What will be will be. We can only do our best, and continue to have dreams, and make attempts at having them come true. But this business of who gets the sprinkles of fairy dust, and who doesn't... that part isn't really up to us.

Who decides...

... How two people can be born into the same family, and achieve different financial outcomes as adults?

... Whether you'll succumb to a disease, just because the genes that blended when your parents had you, are actually warring against each other in your body?

... That out of two plants planted in the same soil, mere inches apart, one will survive, and one will fail to grow?

... That even though you may dream of your future in one way... there might be a diffirent plan for you, that's out of your control?

... That no matter how cautiously you lead your life, you too can be caught in a freak accident?

So... who decides? Definitely not us.

I'm really trying to continue with my regular optimism. But some days, because of this whole 'being human' factor, it's pretty darn difficult. I'm struggling to embrace my mother's ability to have faith in fate. I don't want to become one of those people who looks back on her life and thinks, "I really wish I had... when I could..."

I'm really trying...

And as always, even though I'm a terrible Catholic, I'm going to turn to something here that my grade eight teacher always told me to say when I felt unsettled:

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
The courage to change the things I can...
And the wisdom to know the difference...

Image courtesy of Google Images

The ripple effect

2011-06-10T16:16:00.000-04:00

I've spent more consecutive days in heels over the past week than have in the last couple of years. Work related stuff. But as you can imagine, the poor gams were on fire by week's end. So yesterday I decided to fill up the bathtub and soaked them in salt water. Therapy! Oh, I can't tell you how good it felt to just sit there and let the hot water massage my poor nerves.

I've had a lot on my mind these past few days... work stuff, life stuff... the usual stuff. I guess I was deep in my own thoughts when I realized I was staring at the tap dripping water into the full tub. One drop at a time, spaced out over a few seconds. I was mesmerized how that one drop of water caused such ripple effect. Just one drop would send tiny waves through the tub, which was otherwise still.

It made me realize how one tiny event or shift in our lives can leave such an enormous impact. Whether it's meeting one person, or experiencing one moment... little things can shift our lives from the mundane to the colourful (or chaotic) within seconds.

There's truth to the ripple effect, and I suppose I don't need to convince you of that. I'm just amazed, that's all. Because sometimes I sit back and look at my life the way it was a few months ago... a year back... a decade earlier... and I think of all the events that have led to me to where I am. Decisions that I or someone else made, and moments that quietly shifted the course of my entire life. It's profound when you think about it, really.

I don't know. Maybe I just need to sleep. And soak these toes-ies again.

Happy Weekend!

Image courtesy of Google Images

Set fire to the rain

2011-06-06T12:47:00.000-04:00

Ever encounter a musician who feeds and ignites even the most wounded parts of your soul? Here's Adele. I love her. Her lyrics are awesome and they resonate. Such a raw and wonderful singer/writer.

A travel destination where I love the people

2011-06-06T11:34:00.002-04:00

30 Day Travel Challenge
Day 7 - A travel destination where I love the people

You're probably learning quickly through these posts that I haven't travelled to that many countries around the globe. As much as I'd love to say I've visited numerous exotic locations and written about the strangest customs in the furthest of places, the truth of the matter is, I've really only been to a handful of countries. But I'm OK with that. For now anyway. This exercise is forcing me to look back on where I've been, and really focus on what I took away from each of my travels.

So... from my experiences so far, I'd have to say I loved the people I met in Seoul, Korea. The people I'm talking about are a handful of expats -- not originally from Korea. In fact, they're kind of from all over the place (The U.K., South Africa, USA). But I'll always associate my happiest experiences in Korea with them. They're kindred spirits, and fellow wandering souls. They get me and I get them. And it took me leaving the comforts and familiarity of my life in Toronto to finally experience people with a shared wavelength and understanding of life.

I say I love the people in Seoul, because some of them are still there. They went back to their native countries for a while, and then chose to go back to Korea for another round of work.

These are some of my soul mates. I know that they'll always be a phone call, e-mail or Skype chat away. And I also know that I'll be seeing them again, someday soon. I really do love them! And I'll always be grateful to Seoul for bringing me a group of kindred spirits from around the planet, without having to go in search of them.

Check out:

10 things I miss about Seoul, Korea

The world in my shoebox

FIFA, Football and Family

Image courtesy of Google Images

A travel destination where I love the food

2011-05-29T22:40:00.000-04:00

30 Day Travel Challenge
Day 6 - A travel destination where I love the food

It's really hard to choose just one. I've honestly enjoyed the cuisine in every city I've ever visited. I even started to enjoy kimchi towards the end of my Korean adventure.

I love eating food in Asia, though. For the most part, menus are designed with portion sizes meant to be shared among people. I like that about Asian culture. Eating food is a chance for people to share a meal and share stories together. I remember ordering these awesome lunch sets with my friends B and C after shopping trips in Seoul. We would go to Insadong, to this quaint little traditional Korean restaurant and order this great seafood spread for about $30, split three ways. Such an awesome memory.

Check out Sorry, Donald! for a snippet of my food adventure in the ROK.

Image courtesy of Google Images

A travel destination that reminds me of someone

2011-05-26T22:05:00.004-04:00

30 Day Travel Challenge
Day 5 - A travel destination that reminds me of someone

Yikes! How can a place remind you of just one person? Well, unless you associate that place with an experience you shared together. Hmm... Nope. I'm not going to go there. Not now. Not ever. Instead, I'll tell you about a destination that reminds me of a number of people.

My mother comes from a beautiful village in Goa called Loutolim. I spent the first year of my life in this village, until we moved to the big city. However, almost every weekend we would go back to visit and spend quality time catching up with relatives. I have such fond memories from those times.

This village has become a tourist destination in Goa in recent years, but back when I was growing up, it was quaint, and oh so quiet! It was my oasis. My haven and security blanket from all the problems in the world outside it.

Thinking about this destination will always remind me of my family. Loved ones have come and gone through it over the years, but when I think about this space, I'm always comforted.

The big, old house with the heavy wooden doors and 16 steps leading up to the porch will always be etched in my memory. The image of this village (as it was), with its lush, green fields and acres of coconut trees will always bring a smile to my face.

To read a detailed account from my memory of this space, check out A speck in silence.

Saviour of the World church, built in the 16th century. Loutolim village -- Goa, India

Image courtesy of Google Images

A travel destination that makes me sad

2011-05-26T08:15:00.002-04:00

30 Day Travel Challenge
Day 4 - A travel destination that makes me sad

One of my first trips outside Canada was to Cuba in 2007. I did an all inclusive vacation with a few friends after graduating from university, and was quite looking forward to seven days of sun, sand and cerveza.

However, the novelty of a resort-style vacation wore off on me after a day or so, and I got antsy to travel outside Varadero. I told a couple of friends about a day-trip to Havana, and together we agreed to visit the city. So off we went with our tour guide to visit the post-colonial heart of Cuba. And boy, was I in for a big surprise.

I should start off by saying Cuba is one of the most culturally rich and warm countries I've ever had the fortune of visiting. I felt as though a samba/reggaeton soundtrack followed me wherever I went. It can't be helped -- that's just how it goes down in Cuba!

My trip to Havana was an eyeopener, however. What got to me was the every day reality of people who lived and worked in this country. One of my first stops in Havana was at this old church. I remember walking in and falling in love with the beautiful architecture and ambiance right away. But when I stepped on the porch to get a view of the outside, I came face to face with a group of young women -- each about 5-8 months pregnant, and each holding an ultrasound of their unborn child against their bellies, while begging for money. I was shocked. It was the first time I had come close to such blatant poverty (outside of India), and I wasn't sure how to react.

As I talked to some of the workers back on the resort, I quickly found out that ideal and fulfilling jobs didn't include that of doctors, engineers and lawyers (as it seems to in most developed/developing countries). Instead, people yearn for jobs in tourism -- working on resorts as servers, cleaners and receptionists. Everyone else just kind of... is.

Apparently the reason for this is because people who work in tourism make more money than those who work locally, doing the everyday jobs. The hospitality and tourism industry in Cuba allows the workers exposure to life outside the island. Tourists bring in dollars, which are handed out as tips, and other luxury items that most people aren't privy to... (you know, because of the 'everything is equal' (not really!) communist climate).

Anyway, needless to say this broke my heart and made me quite sad. Yes, healthcare and education is cheap (if not free) throughout the country, but it's so sad that people can only rise to a certain level, regardless of how hard they work.

A friend who spoke to a cab driver in Varadero provided some insight. He told her that if he thinks about it, it makes him upset. But the reality is that most people on the island don't know of life and the luxuries outside their borders. So they're content, and that's that.

I suppose I understand it, but it still makes me sad when I think about it. I'll never forget those women outside the church, and I can only hope that they and their children are doing alright.

Inside the old church in the heart of Havana, Cuba -- May, 2007