StreamingFlicks

TUPAC LIVES!!!

2011-06-24T10:44:00.000-04:00

“We talk a lot about Malcom X and Martin Luther King JR, but It’s time to be like them, as strong as them. They were mortal men like us and everyone of us can be like them. I don’t want to be a role model. I just want to be someone who says, this is who i am, this is what i do. I say what’s on my mind.” - Tupac Shakur

I don’t listen too much in the way of Hip Hop or Rap, lost interest after N.W.A. and the total commoditization of the genera. Tupac, though, almost had me back. He was a poet and a performer who had a message beyond the obvious, he was a man in protest and opposition to the societal forces that cause the wealth, education, and opportunity gaps that exist between races in

America

. Tupac had a voice that represented his people’s plight and not the image of entitlement that is projected by a majority of the performers, at least those in the mainstream.

Okay, sorry got off on a tangent there, just saying Tupac was a bad MoFo. And he is Gridlock’d with Dr. Cal Lightman, or Tim Roth, depending on just how sunk into pop-culture you are. The cast is top notch, Tupac was downright amazing in his role and while Thandi Newton was way too fucking hot to be a junkie, it is a smart film that really takes a shot at our governmental institutions and how they are run. Plus it gets hipster points for being the first time I can recall the use of the ‘d to connote finality, so that is awesome also. Find it on Netflix Streaming and don’t be a junkie in America, those are the messages of the Stream for the day.

Blazed and confused...

2011-06-21T11:16:00.000-04:00

What do you do when you don’t feel like putting the effort in? I have a big test tomorrow, work today and tomorrow, and am just tired. So I am mailing this one in.

Blazing Saddles is hysterical, many of you have already seen it and know this, and so what is the point? I re-watched it recently and it seemed strangely prescient. I saw a lot political parallels that I had not noticed before. Perhaps it was that I was not 18 and stoned when I watched it or perhaps the racial undertones that are flooding the upcoming election are making things clearer for me. Maybe it is one of those things you just learn to see better with age, ladies I am not really old just not young so keep the boobies coming, whatever it is I found that between laughs there were some sobering realities that we are still dealing with today no matter the color of the president.

Anyway, Blazing Saddles has never failed to make me laugh. It has some of the funniest set pieces in cinematic history and really is a farcical achievement that has not been touched since it was made. Blazing Saddles is a truly a one of a kind film by a one of a kind director and writer Mel Brookes. Brooks has his shtick and go to bits as any good comedy director will; however Brooks has the rare ability to add humanity to his movies and this one has a list of characters that you come to care about along with a bunch of one-liners that still get used, out of context, even today. Find it on Netflix Streaming and enjoy it for the first or 21^st time.

Fresh Squeezed

2011-06-16T10:36:00.001-04:00

People always make a big deal about type casting and how a star cannot be a star being type cast. I think that is nonsense. There are plenty of actors who are huge stars just playing themselves. Perhaps my favorite I am always that guy, guy, is Samuel L. Jackson. SamJacks always plays SamJacks no matter how many motherfucking snakes are on the motherfucking plane. What does that have to do with life, very little too none, however he is in the movie you should see today, Fresh.

Fresh, is an old school revenge crime thriller, set in a disturbing urban landscape, a crumbling Brooklyn housing project; Fresh is a look into some of the most important issues dealing with poverty and drugs. The generational nature of poverty is laid bare, as the institutions around the characters force more and more of them down the same path as their predecessors, into lives of drug and gang violence.

The gravity of the situation is what makes everything so compelling. You can invest fully into the character of Fresh and relate to his circumstance, even if they are nothing like your own. This is because of how effective the movie is at expressing the dismay and denigration of those trapped in poverty.

There are many great examples of this and Fresh is a great one, but I would be remiss if I did not bring up Season 4 of The Wire. If you like Fresh, which you will, then you absolutely must watch Season 4 of The Wire. There is no doubt that it will be the most compelling bit of media you have ever consumed. Also, if you want to get a scholarly look into poverty that is still very approachable for all, check out Poverty and Power by Edward Royce. For those of you who already did watch The Wire the name of the author should resonate and don’t think it is a coincidence.

Multidimensional Streaming...

2011-06-15T10:22:00.000-04:00

You want truth? Here is some truth; blogging everyday is not as easy as you think. The more you write the same type of things the more the stuff you are writing feels the same. So today I want to change things up a little bit and add a bit more latitude to the scope of stuff I talk about. I am still going to annoy the shit out of everybody with my terrible movie and television recommendations, now with some social commentary sprinkled in for just that extra bit of pucker effect when you see a new post. So clench up folks it is going to be a bumpy ride, cause I sure as shit don’t know where this is going.

To tell you just how wacky shit is going to get today’s movie is Gung Ho, yes the terrible 80’s movie with Mr. Mom. Why Gung Ho, well a few reasons one it is terrible, but in a good way. It is a Ron Howard effort and you can see his joy in the movie. It is lighthearted and entertaining if forgettable fare. That is it, that is all it is, not much I know. What is interesting was the location of the movie and how it resonates especially in today’s economic reality.

Detroit Rock City

The movie is based in a factory town that was about to lose its factory. When one of the soon to be ex-employees gets the idea to have the Japanese company who bought them out have them instead shift production to their factory. The story line was based on the idea that American ingenuity will overcome American indifference.

Transport this story to today and the same situation is playing out all over the country, except in the real world it is American owned companies who are moving their manufacturing overseas and not overseas companies shutting down American factories. They don’t need our companies with American manufacturing to shut down, because American manufacturing is an endangered species.

Did the taxpayers pay for this sign...really?

Do I have a point to make here; sure I do, but fuck that noise make your own opinion. Mine is straight forward, stop legislating morality, stop fighting half-measure wars, spend more on schools then prisons, and make sure that everybody has access to doctors. That is it my whole plan. I know, I am a fucking genius, just like Michael Keaton in the movie.

In Memorium...

2011-06-13T11:16:00.000-04:00

2010-2011 Miami Heat, I know it's a movie blog, but it is my movie blog and I want to blog about sports today:

Everybody else gets to have an opinion on this team and this result and in the age of over sensationalization of every little thing we have the petri dish that was this Heat team. Without intention the media has proved the age old adage, that mere observation does in fact change the dynamic of any organism. If the way it functions, it evolves, and in the end lives out its life span all are forever changed through the mere act of observation, than what would the blatant media obfuscation and self insinuation into this Heat team dynamic do to such a balance? All of the media glare; the unrelenting overhyped stories about the most miniscule of story lines weighed this team down.

As adulthood approached I was faced with many decisions, some I made poorly and some I made well, none of them, thankfully, were done under the spotlight of media attention. I like to think I would do better in the situations that famous people find themselves in then the famous people do. We all think that, sitting behind the warming glow of our computer screens, we conceptualize ourselves in those situations and play out the best possible result, and then in our points of view, play the result. For those saddled with fame there is no warming glow to hide within, instead there is only the harsh glare and flashing bulbs of scrutiny. So it is easy for sports pundits to sit around today and dictate platitudes about what could and should have been with this Heat team, instead of focusing on the accomplishment.

All of the sports pundits want to sit and gloat today, beat their chests about how they were right, that this Heat team was destined to fail. Ignoring all that they had overcome to get to this point of failure, as professionals we should all strive to fail this well in our jobs, lives, and accomplishments. This is failing upward if there is such a thing. Did this Heat team fall short of their goal? Yes. Of their penultimate goal they fell short; they did accomplish countless others along the way, including taking this team, constructed in the summer and incomplete most of the season, to game six of the NBA Finals. There are 30 other teams in the league that would and will be attempting to change everything about their structure so they can have a chance just to get to the same point.

All of this is ignored though; the narrative is something else entirely. It is a gross mixture of bitterness, disdain and disrespect. Marginalizing what is an outstanding accomplishment, trivializing the success that most can only dream of achieving. The media has turned into a dictator, without their consent, without stroking their egos, without acknowledging their perspective; no person shall be viewed in a positive light. Go against the grain and be castigated as a homer or frontrunner. Reject their narrative and be cast as the villain.

In the end here is what I took from this remarkable Heat season. Wow, was it a lot of fun and man did the Heat get close. Yes I am disappointed the Heat did not win, no I am not ready to give up on a team that was two wins away from a championship just because some slob with a typewriter and a website says to. I leave this Heat season much the way I came into with a great deal of hope for the future of this team, lots of finals games to agonize over and some championships along the way. The media leaves beating its chest and crowing about how they were right, finally and regardless of the countless times they were wrong this season about the Heat, about how this team needs a major overhaul, about everything else that is wrong with this team. Instead I ask what the fuck is wrong with the media?

The Good Stuff...

2011-06-10T13:17:00.000-04:00

Top tens suck at life, I hate to say it but it is true. The concept of universally picking a top ten is morally corrupt. Based upon bias and fiction; I find top tens to be the lowest form of artistic review.

Instead, I am going to pick five fucking awesome movies off of Netflix Streaming, put them in no particular order, tell you that they are all number one’s in different ways, and fucking dare you to disagree. Because there is nothing to disagree with, it’s like my opinion and shit.

I will do more of these on days like today in the future, but for now and today here are five movies I love on Netflix Streaming,

I am a total Martial Arts dweeb and it stemmed from one movie, Enter the Dragon. What can I say, I was 5 years old when I first saw it and Bruce Lee was a God. He could defy gravity and kick the shit out of the baddest dude you know and look cool doing it. On a more technical note it was a fantastic blend of western and eastern cinema; with plenty of old Shaw Bros. style close-ups and a very Hollywood storyline, Enter the Dragon is as good as it gets and the first of it’s kind.

Baz Luhrmann is a crazy, maniacal, genius. His movies are visually stunning; he has the ability to capture the beauty in the slums during turn of the century Paris in Moulin Rouge. It is a fancy in your panties musical adventure with a nice love story and stunning visuals.

Here is something you may not know; there are multiple Stanly Kubrick films on the Stream. And while I am a fan of all of his work, yes weird Tom Cruise porn movie included, I think Full Metal Jacket is maybe the greatest movie about war ever made. I say maybe because, lets face it, the best anything is subjective to mood and disposition Still the movie is haunting scene after haunting scene with no relief, as even the few moments of comedy are filled with the bitter darkness that war cloaks all things in.

The Dude is perhaps one of the most subversive character archetypes in cinematic history. His carefree manner and lazy approach to everything shape the dynamic of The Big Lebowski, turning it from a caper movie to a scathing rebuke of high society, or at least that is what some pretentious film snob would say. I love it for the memorable one-liners and fantastic characters that left an indelible impression.

Before there were, Motherfucking Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane, my favorite Sam Jacks line was, “That’s a duck, not a dick” which is just one of many one liners in the underrated and completely re-watchable, The Long Kiss Goodnight. Sure it has Geena Davis in it, but lets be fair this is when she was still hot as hell. And I am very aware of the absurdity of the story line, still it is fun, has a great soundtrack, and characters that you can invest in and cheer for. As a bonus it has Bryan Cox at his Coxiest and David Morse in one of his better performances.

That is five fucking fantastic films fuckers. If you have not see one of them there ya go if you have seen them all then you have too much time on your hands. I used to manage a video store what is your excuse? That's what I thought. Anyway, happy fathers day to all the dads out there, remember the love you give is greater then the love you receive.

Work is busy today...

2011-06-09T10:37:00.000-04:00

So come back tomorrow, what you get what you pay for.

Listen to my uppity British Accent!

2011-06-08T09:42:00.000-04:00

Character studies as films usually cause me to pass out in my chair and inadvertently wet myself from the depths of my boredom. There are notable exceptions, Taxi Driver comes to mind, however for the most part these movies are tedious, in many cases, well acted, boring biopics that are historically inaccurate. Basically I find the whole concept to be shit. So it is not going to be easy for me to look you in the eye and say hey watch this character study, because I don’t want to fucking watch them.

I do though, through some nonsensical drive to consume all media within my vortex I watch them and find myself muttering as I do laundry and dry the spot on the couch. That said I have noticed a trend in these movies, the ones based on fictional characters are far less infuriating then the ones based on real people. So on Netflix Streaming there is an excellent example, Croupier. It stars Clive Owen in his debut film and it is a stunning piece of filmmaking. It is tense, creepy, and a bit unnerving. After you finish you will not look at casino workers the same way again. This is a movie about a man in a downward spiral, it just happened to include gambling, sex, and booze, which to me sounds like a good Saturday night. Enjoy.

Hustling baby...

2011-06-07T10:10:00.000-04:00

Really what I want to do is tell you to watch the Hustler. The greatest movie about gambling I have ever seen. It led to knock off after knock off, some good, some bad, and one that was a sequel, but I prefer to pretend it did not happen. Paul Newman made Fast Eddie Felson the most memorable underdog that you felt bad cheering for but still wanted to see him overcome. Jackie Gleeson, doing all of his own shots, as the great Minnesota Fats, who sends Fast Eddie on his downward spiral. And George C. Scott as the heavy, Bert, who wants to own the soul of Fast Eddie and sends his minions in all of their forms to break Eddie to his will. It is without a doubt one of my favorite fucking movies ever.

Ladies, hello ladies, and gentlemen I introduce the problem I have with this blog, the problem is that for many of you The Hustler holds a similar place, so I have to go deeper and thus the challenge of this blog: balance the old with the new, the foreign with the domestic, the cats with the dogs. I am still trying to figure it all out, I assure you I won’t and promise to not even try very hard.

Still I want to recommend the Hustler, so instead I am going to recommend Poolhall Junkies, an almost direct rip-off of the Hustler, and it is really well done, with good acting and memorable characters. If you are a rabid fan of this site, and there are millions of you, take my word for it, then you saw the YouTube clip for yesterday. That was my little Easter Egg for you all, letting you know what this one was about. It is about some cool pool scenes, some witty banter, Chazz Palminteri being Chazz Palminteri, and most importantly Christopher Walken being Christopher Fucking Walken. Enjoy.

Midterm today...

2011-06-06T09:39:00.000-04:00

Means new blog tomorrow. Happy Monday bitches.

Wait, who did what?

2011-06-03T10:44:00.000-04:00

Kate Winslet is one damn sexy lady. Peter Jackson is a good director. And before you knew who either of them was they made a movie together. Would you believe it had homosexual undertones and a fantasy world? Damn right it did. Shocking I know.

Okay Kate Winslet is in my top 5 top babes in Hollywood based on a very complex formula, hotness X talent + number of nude scenes – number of times she put on weight for a role X attainability factor (seems like I would have a chance even though I don’t). This allows me to be objective when I see a new actress who is so hot that the screen actually melts and for the first two movies she is in you can’t see past how hot she is to the fact that she can’t act or does not show her boobs. Kate is awesome because she proved early on she can act and all the proof you need is in Heavenly Creatures.

It is based on a true crime story, but interlaced with a fantastical story of love between two girls who fear separation from each other more then anything else on earth. It is touching and scary and a bit strange and just excellent. Peter Jackson shows the chops he would bring to the gay hobbit fest, I mean The Lord of The Rings. And Winslet is mesmerizing as the innocent beauty turned to dark. Enjoy.

O...M…G

2011-06-02T10:14:00.000-04:00

I fucking love movies and I think Netflix Streaming is the boobies. I treat it as a holistic experience; sign on see what is recommended, see what is new, browse a genera or two see if something jumps off the page and kicks me in the nuts. Usually settling for something from the recommended list or a new release that I was to disinterested in to see in the movies. What I don’t do is go a check when my favorite old movies or ones I wanted to see but hadn’t are due to be released, or really follow any fucking news at all.

This morning I was all ready to find some obscure foreign crime movie with a gruesome sensibility that reminded me of the classics like Chinatown, Reservoir Dogs (also streaming), and Pulp Fiction, when BOOM! I open the new release page and the very first movie is PULP FICTION.

Yes that is a wet spot, don’t ask, this is so fucking epic. Okay all of you bad motherfuckers who have not seen the yet, no more fucking excuses. Every so often I meet someone who claims to like movies, but had not seen this masterpiece and I want to go all Marcellus Wallace on them, ya’know get all medieval on a motherfucker.

I know most have you have seen this movie to which I say so fucking what watch it again and again. On your Ipad, Ipod, Phone, PC, fucking anywhere man, ANYWHERE! Listen I could quote this movie all day long and watch it over and over again. Debate what is in the briefcase and spend hours talking about the blocking of the shots and how the angles Tarantino used made the viewer even more engrossed in the film sucking all of us into this magnificent tale of sex, drugs, blood, gore, betrayal, and redemption. I could do all of those things but I will instead just say one more time. Stop sucking and watch this movie, enjoy kiddies.

Site News...Bitches.

2011-06-01T17:26:00.000-04:00

Sorry for not posting for a minute, Dr. stuff. That is all finished and I will be back tomorrow with a fresh new post. You are welcome.

I love this clip.

Old people are thinking this movie is not a secret…

2011-05-27T10:34:00.000-04:00

But really old people are not reading my blog they find my crass language and condescending tone to be way to nice compared to how their home health care workers treat them. Seriously though old people a message from me to you save us some Social Security you greedy fucks.

Okay so the movie for today is an oldie but goodie, all of you film majors have seen it, but since you are unemployed now you have time to watch it again. Network was made in 1976, but it could very easily be a look inside of today’s corporate driven media conglomerates more interested in revenue and ratings then delivering unbiased news. The whole concept of agenda driven journalism is as old as the printing press and I am pretty sure there are historians who would argue that cave drawings had a secret agenda back in the day.

Network pants the whole system though. Just exposes the media for the small dicked over compensating bunch of whores they are. You don’t want to believe that this could be real, watch Network and then watch an hour of Fox News and you tell me. The movie itself is excellent, well acted funny, touching, and thoughtful. Network won a bunch of Oscars for good reason it was fucking good and it is on Netflix Streaming. I know that a movie from 1976 will test your ability to cope with today’s mindless dribble, watch it anyway, don’t suck.

And now for something completely different…

2011-05-26T10:03:00.000-04:00

At this point space monkeys you know that I have a media obsession and it goes well beyond just movies, I am a musicaholic and could devote a whole other blog to that junk, but let’s face it the next music blog that pops up might actually cause the universe to turn in on itself and for the actual rapture to occur, or not.

Image from hayden-harnett blog

Point being I don’t have a ton of outlets for this type of thing and some of you who are reading this might actually think I have fallen and hit my head. I want all of you, my 1 or 2 devoted (see stalkers, hello stalkers) readers, to help out The Heavy Pets. I am posting a video that was taken and distributed by a F.O.T.S. (friend of the stream) Cheesehead Productions featuring American Idol contestant Brett Loewenstern. Please take it post it to your Facebook, retweet it on Twitter, do whatever the fuck it is you do on LinkedIn, and if you are on Friendster…get the fuck off my blog.

Now I know that most of you are thinking to yourself wait, this guy hates The Heavy Pets, and that is not entirely true, why are you posting about them in your movie blog? Well it is like Oceans 11 (link to the streaming version of the original starring Frank Sinatra) a great cast, each individually is worth watching and their talent is obvious, a good story and a lot of fun but, finally, in my mind just not great. Still you go see the other movies and enjoy it for what it is. The other thing is all of these guys I am friendly with, really a great bunch of guys and this is a good opportunity for them to gain national exposure and further their careers. And I always want to see my friends succeed. I hope this blog helps, this is a local South Florida band they need your support and even if you are not a huge fan let’s help some local boys do good. Oh and if you like the video you can find tons more here at F.O.T.S. Cheesehead Productions YouTube Channel .

Worth the wait...

2011-05-25T11:19:00.000-04:00

Not really, but hey shit happens you get what you pay for in this world. What I am saying is sorry about not posting yesterday I will try to not make a habit of it. Onto the good stuff...

Let’s face it you’re a big dork. No need to argue you are reading a blog about movies streaming on Netflix, that means dork. So in an attempt to help you embrace your inner, and in most cases not so inner, dorkdom we present you one of the dorkiest, funniest, and most endearing stories you will find on Netflix Streaming, Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog.

First thing first, Neil Patrick Harris or NPH is the man. Sure he loves the cock, but the ladies love him and we love the ladies, hello ladies, so by the transitive property of NPH is awesome, we love NPH. Oh and he stars as the titled Dr. Horrible.

Nathan Fillion and Felicia Day round out the small but hysterical cast of this love story told in song. That’s right it’s a musical and in the tradition of the great musicals of the past like South Park the Movie, it fucking ruled.

Okay so nobody has seen about this or heard about this other then the uber-geeks that make up the Joss Whedon fanboy love club. Whedon who has a loyal following of committed fans, for whom has rarely failed to deliver. While he may not have the broad recognition that his work deserves he continues to be a favorite of critics and fans alike. This little ditty just proves his versatility since he is best known first for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and then for his Space Cowboy meets Smokey and the Bandit show Firefly and the accompanying movie Serenity, both starring the ubiquitous Fillion as the tall smug handsome guy who always get s the girl. I fucking hate that guy. But you will love Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog so watch it already.

Skelator Demands you Watch this Movie…

2011-05-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

Did you ever want to have sex with a translucent skinned 50 year old lady who looks likes she spent the last 20 years turning tricks on the corner and using the money for her next meth fix? No? Really are you sure? I mean sure she looks like a zombie, but Madonna is so rich she can afford to buy a child in every country her decomposing corpse finds itself in. Before setting the tone for the human version of the baby monster, that has become Angelina Jolie and her never-ending need to eat the souls of children from around world, Madonna married some strange English filmmaker name Guy Ritchie. And using her succubus skills she has managed to suck the youth from his soul. I can’t prove any of this of course, all I can do it hypothesize how someone who could write and direct something as awesome as Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and then in his most recent effort basically shit himself with awesome source material and one of the better actors on the planet in the Robert Downey Jr. led, Sherlock Holmes.

Seriously, how did this suck?

Not that anybody needs to tell you to avoid Sherlock Holmes it has much the same appeal as a rotting corpse or Madonna naked. This fact though means that the casual amongst you will not find their way back in the director’s previous work to find out what he did right in order to get the job on such a big budget turd like Sherlock Holmes. Well you might assume that good decision was marrying Madonna, but how can marrying the lead design doll from a Day of the Dead movie further your career? Well most studio heads do fear that Madonna could move on from eating children’s brains onto them next, let’s face it most studio heads think like children anyway.

Artist Rendering of Madonna.

Actually Ritchie is still living off the good will of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, both of which he at least wrote before meeting his future soul sucker, I mean Madonna.

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels which is on Netflix Streaming was awesome in every conceivable way, the fact that it is easier to watch with the subtitles on even though it is English, just makes it that much more fun. It is funny, smart, and exciting filled with memorable characters and scenes and is better than that other movie you have not seen and are considering, yes I am sure.

Pixar Rules…

2011-05-20T11:47:00.000-04:00

Because I said so, that is why, should be good enough by now. So now it is time for something the kiddies can watch. Why, because the children are our future, and they should not be forced to watch another episode of the Wiggles or Barney or whatever the fuck silly shit it is kids watch these days.

What does this have to do with Pixar? Brad Bird. Brad Bird was the guy who directed The Incredibles and Ratatouille and was the leader of the development team for UP, for that fancy pants Disney subsidiary Pixar.

Before Brad Bird had access to all the latest and greatest in digital animation tools, he was forced to do animation the old fashioned way. If you look on Netflix Streaming you will find The Iron Giant. In The Iron Giant, Bird tells a beautiful story to go along with effective and warm animation that had more in common with the cartoons I watched on Saturday morning growing up then any of the stylized offerings on Cartoon Network.

Here is the deal, if you have kids they will love it, if you don’t have kids you will love it, if you get high you will find it to be the greatest movie ever made, and if you are drunk you will probably cry, fucking sloppy drunk.

Run Like Hell…

2011-05-19T10:43:00.002-04:00

Quick what’s the shortest distance between two points? YES! It is a straight line here’s a cookie.

This is not the movie you are looking for...

Did you see that chase scene in Casino Royal that went from a snake pit up a crane and through an embassy? Did you think that they should make a whole movie out of that? Good I am glad we agree, except for the part where they already did that shit.

Before I tell you just how awesome District B13 is let me show you how awesome Parkour is:

That is fucking crazy, I get base jumping you have a fucking parachute, these guys are insane. So is District B13…

This is the Movie you are looking for...

Basic plot; there is a bomb in a Paris slum. Supercop must team up with the good hearted criminal to save the day. Really it could have been anything I am pretty sure the pitch to the studio must have sounded something like this…FUCKING PARKOUR and Luc Besson wrote the story. Europa did the only sensible thing and made the movie even giving it a limited

U.S.

theatrical release through Magnolia. So even the studio knew this movie was fucking badass and usually movie studios need a compass and map to find their ass with both hands. This is an action lover’s wet dream and even the ladies, hey ladies, will enjoy the majestic chase scenes staring David Belle one of the founders of Parkour. As usual you can find this on Netflix streaming, I promise it is better than whatever else it was you are going to watch. Remember the mantra, don’t suck. Here is your chance to suck less.

Mmmmm Cocaine..

2011-05-18T11:14:00.001-04:00

Good morning kiddies are you ready for your daily dose of fuck you? No? Fuck you anyway. Here is the reason why, because you have heard about Cocaine Cowboys and still not seen it. This is fucking crazy talk, because you can go right now and stream that shit on Netflix.

This movie changed how Hollywood was able to approach Pablo Escobar as a movie character. Billy Corben, the director, discovered early on that this guy was worse then a bond villain in real life. I mean just a nasty motherfucker who would kill you just as soon as have coffee with you and neither would change his mood. If he were a character in a movie you would not believe he was real because he was too well rounded as a villain.

Quick note about me, I grew up in Miami, my father was a member of both The Cricket Club and The Playboy Club, and there were pictures in the movie with men I called Uncle this or that, it was fucking awesome and horrifying, much like the movie. Cocaine Cowboys was as engrossing as any fictional drug dealer drama made, which made it horrifying for me when I realized that my father had been in contact with one of the most violent organizations to that point in history. My family was lucky and got out unscathed, a lot of my friends cannot say the same, their fathers who were V.P. of various small banks were all of a sudden federal criminals serving time.

Basically see Cocaine Cowboys because it fucking rules, the fact that you might understand how Miami became the cesspool of corruption it is, bonus. What I am saying is this just because you might actually learn something from a movie does not make it boring, stop acting stupid, watch this movie learn about something cool and have a good time.

Achtung Baby...

2011-05-17T10:17:00.000-04:00

Those sneaky fucking Krauts first they perpetuate the Holocaust then they have the nerve to make a good movie about it. The problem of course being, it’s in German.

Listen folks, you all are not idiots otherwise you would have given up after perpetuate and would not still be reading. If you can read this you can read subtitles. So I don’t want any fucking crying about subtitles, movies are good in other languages too, deal with it. This one is also a nod to what I can only assume is a horde of fine ladies reading this blog, ladies this is not a movie with explosions or about sex it is simply a very good drama and should be right up your ally, unless you like explosions and sex then call me.

Europa Europa is a great movie about a young Jewish boy trying to survive the Holocaust and WWII from inside of Germany. No easy feat as you may imagine. You are going to love this movie, you will probably cry, I know this because I cried and I don’t cry.

Only if you are bored...

2011-05-16T21:20:00.000-04:00

My buddy, BC asked for boobies and while I am all for boobies I want to keep the NSFW visual content to a minimum. Ladies you may still feel free to send me photos of your boobies which I promise will be treated in the most delicate of manner, or if you prefer rough just add that to the email. Still I want to give the people what they want, so when I cannot produce boobies I can give you a funky story about a very special girl with a very special addition to her pussy, and we are not talking about vagazaling either.

TEETH...GET IT TEETH!!!

Teeth was a whacked out movie, I mean fucking strange and uncomfortable, but it was that good kind of strange and uncomfortable, like when your creepy uncle lets you off his lap without grabbing your ass and drops a fiver on you. Just remember not even a condom is 100% effective against everything.

Barebacking...

2011-05-16T10:51:00.001-04:00

Looks like this is going to be my schedule for the upcoming weeks, should be able to drop off a post around this time in the A.M. M-F. If you want more than that, don’t and you won’t be disappointed.

Site news now vanquished, onto the goodies.

Have you seen the U.S. version of Skins? Or as I like to call it v.howdidwefuckthisup? It was awful, the acting was dreadful and everything about the show seemed to have the stink of over-stylized MTV corporate branding about it. Really just a grotesque and terrible reproduction of something that actually fucking ruled.

Now here is the thing about the original, BBC had no fucking clue what they had, obvious by the insane pacing of the first two seasons, BBC was forced to find a new cast to meet the demand of the fans of the show. BBC should have known better and let it alone, but those Brits are every bit as greedy as us Americans just with a snobbier accent. They put on two more seasons, which were bad, should have made me suspect of the U.S version, but fuck MTV.

They were dealing with A+ source material, on Netflix Streaming Skins Series 1 and 2 are available , am I recommending you watch two whole series, no fuck me who the hell am I? What I do say is watch the first episode of the first season “Tony” if it does not send you down the dark path of sucking you into the rest of the episodes you are a fucking retard.

-faust

Do The Right Thing...

2011-05-14T00:50:00.003-04:00

<Spike Says Review That Shit Yo'self>

Do The Right Thing was a great movie; it is on Netflix Streaming. If you have not seen it fix that shit. Now on to the real reason for my post...

It was mentioned to me that I may want to offer reviews of these movies, but why? Do you wan't something awesome or something less? Do you want greatness or run of the mill? If you want to watch these awesome movies and shows I am posting about and then talk about that shit, have the fuck at it. Dissect that nonsense like it is your job, extrapolate, and be hyperbolic. I appreciate the profane and subversive and welcome your worst replies. What a better review of a movie then the conversations that they create.

If you want me to review them, here is what I think about the movies I recommend, THEY FUCKING RULE...duh. I will include something interesting about the movie or show that is funny,<shaking head>, most likely relevant, and decidedly not a plot spoiler. Unless your a super genius, in which case I ask you, how in the hell have you not seen these already?

First Post Epicness!!!

2011-05-13T17:02:00.001-04:00

First post? Fucking-A right this is the first post. Does that mean I am going to be nice, no, fuck you, if you want nice go see what Netflix recommends. This is a place for good movies not what the studio demands be pushed.

So in the tradition of, HOLY SHIT HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS, here is the very first Netflix Streaming movie that if you have not seen will make you cringe. Old Boy.

YES, SCISSORS + TONGUE = EPIC

This is the movie that Hard Candy wishes it was; gritty, unflinching, and fucking horrifying. Enjoy folks.