By Deborah McNelis,M.S.ed, Owner/Creator of braininsights®

Studies show that the brain is not idle during daydreaming. While imagining, the brain is very active. 

I often talk and write passionately about how incredibly important it is that young children have opportunities to play. One of the reasons I promote this so strongly is because the way to develop imagination and creative thought is through unstructured play.

Creativity and imagination are high level skills in the brain. It is critical that we provide opportunities for all of our young children to develop these skills. Just think about where would we be if there were no individuals who have the ability to imagine new possibilities.

It is through repeated experiences that the brain learns and makes connections between neurons. If something is interesting and stimulating to the brain the brain will pay attention.  Frequent opportunities that provide the freedom to explore, to experiment, to test out new ideas, to manipulate and learn about a variety of objects  using all the senses, and pretending are ways strong brain connections are best created.  It is through play that children develop the  higher level brain skills. Activities like watching television or DVDs, doing paper and pencil focused on finding the right answer, or  using flash cards do not offer the possibility to develop imagination.

Offering varied activities for play and interacting with real objects, people, and nature gives the brain the ability to  to gain knowledge about how things in the world work. These types of experiences add to developing essential brain connections and contribute to the knowledge needed for the process of creativity.

A lack of stress allows children to combine previous knowledge gained with new information. Brains are then able to generate new thoughts and ideas.

Research demonstrates that the brain is actually more active during daydreaming than it is when doing a routine task. Creative ideas occur when the brain is in a relaxed state.  This is why many creative people talk about ideas coming to them in the middle of the night or while taking a shower.

It is important for many reasons to reduce stress levels for children. Persistent stress can have a long lasting and physical effect on the brain. When children are continuously living with stress, levels of the stress hormone, cortisol stays high. This impacts a child’s behavior and learning abilities.

While some stress is inevitable and also necessary, children need stress free time in their days. The brain sees both over stimulation and under stimulation as stress. Through providing fun interactive child directed activities, a child will get just what their brain needs!

The following ideas from, The Brain Development Series Activity Packets  are easy ways families can provide experiences during every day life to  advance creativity and imagination skills.

From: Help Me Thrive While I’m Five

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Provide a variety of empty containers for e to build creative structures. Examples of containers to use, empty cereal boxes, oatmeal boxes, powdered drink mix containers, etc. I may want to cover the boxes with paper and draw windows and doors on the buildings I create. I can be creating while you are getting doing the dishes or cooking dinner.

Another way we can do this: Provide milk and water bottle caps for me to create towers and designs.

Brain Fact: My brain benefits from play most when I am given the time and the opportunity to let my imagination go.

From: More to Do While I’m Two

LOTS OF ANSWERS

While waiting for an appointment or while standing in line, ask me to tell you about objects you point to. Simply point to an object and say, “Tell me about that.” Let me just tell you anything I want to say about it.

Brain Fact: Letting me answer questions with more than a yes or no response helps me use the thinking part of my brain in the early stages of its development.

From: Let’s Learn More While I’m Four

DRAMATIC PLAY

Find or save things for me to pretend with. For example: Save food containers to play grocery store; line up chairs for a train or bus; set up combs, brushes, etc. for a hair salon; put out old shoes and shoe boxes for a shoe store; books and index cards to play library; or make play money to make a bank; and so on.

Brian Fact: Play is the best way for my brain to develop. If I am pushed to learn I may have less interest in learning. Stress is not good for my brain. Fun learning will help me now and in the future.

As an Early Brain Development Specialist and owner of Brain Insights, Deborah is the award winning author of, The Brain Development Series and Naturally Developing Young Brains. She has been seen in several national publications, her brain development packets  and new App sell worldwide, and she receives rave reviews for her presentations throughout the country. Deborah is overjoyed with the response to her company, braininsights® due to her passion to create awareness of the importance of the early years. Her goal through this work is for everyone to gain an understanding of early brain development, it’s impact, and the ways we can all easily make a difference.

For more brain development information and ideas for your family to enjoy go to: www.braininsightsonline.com

Indigo Dreams contains stories designed to help your child reduce stress and increase imagination. 

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by Michael Lawrience

As men when stressed, we tend to run away from our feelings, push them into our unconscious, or when pushed beyond our limits blow up in a rage. Men, in general, seek the company of other men in some activity like golf or watching a football game to escape their stress and get relief.

Parents also have stress filled lives, including dads and stay-at-home dads (SAHD). Dads who work in companies or own them have the stress of work responsibilities, as well as even the well-being of employees.

SAHD have a variety of other stresses different than men and dads such as cleaning, cooking, child care, laundry and even home schooling.

One major stressor for stay-at-home dads revolves around frustration with the cleanliness of the house. Their wives feel that the home isn’t being cleaned to their standards.

I experience stress in my life as a husband and a lot of stress at work where I supervise and interact with 70 teenage girls at a Therapeutic Boarding School. At the school, I monitor and assist, doing part of some jobs such as cleaning dorms, classrooms, dining hall dish cleanup and floors, and washing vans. I am also most of all responsible for the safety of the girls at all times. This includes stopping physical or verbal violence or harm to themselves or others. Sometimes girls need to be driven to the hospital for emergency visits. At the end of a shift I am stressed out, sometimes more on some days than others.

So I can relate somewhat to stay-at-home dads even though at the end of the day I can go home.

Regardless of our type of work, everyone needs stress relief, including men. I will share some top stress relievers for men and include how they apply to stay-at-home-dads.

Stress Management Tips for Men:

1. Exercising– As men we rid ourselves of stress through exercise. It increases our heart rate and blood flow, as well as adrenaline. Pumping iron at the gym, playing basketball, golfing, hiking, jogging, and even walking, whether with other men or by ourselves all help. Regular exercise remains the key to long term stress relief and better health.

Various martial arts also provide an excellent way to release stress by kicking and punching. I felt the best ever when I practiced karate for one year.

Yoga serves as another means to relax both the mind and body. I have practiced some form of yoga since my mid 20’s with great results for staying limber and relieving stress.

Some stay-at-home dads like endurance sports like biking, jogging, or swimming. After a day of screaming kids jogging releases endorphins resulting in a feeling of euphoria. Years ago when I worked at a group home for days at a time, I chose jogging when I came home as my #1 stress reliever.

2. Hanging Out With the Guys – Team sports, like football, hockey, softball, or volleyball or even just watching sporting events assists us to escape and unwind from our stress. Being outdoors and golfing also help.

Some stay-at-home dads may want guy companionship because of their limited male interaction or they may want alone time since they have so little of it. I know a seminar leader who after spending three intense days involved with teaching groups of people just wants to go home and be alone for a while to unwind rather then more interaction with his wife and five kids.

3. Spending Time Alone– When we distress it can also be in solitude like hiking or hobbies like photography or fishing.

Most of my stress relief methods involve solitude. I unplug from doing and working all the time by sometimes playing fantasy video games for a few hours.

Some stay-at-home dads may want their wives to take the kids out at least once a week so they can sit in the sun or by a fire and read a book for even a half an hour to relax.

4. Building Relationships – As men, like women, it is important to build positive friendships. Then we have people, whether they are men or women who we can turn in times of stress because we trust and feel safe with them. I always felt happier when I had a least one close male friend that I could talk to about anything and help me deal with challenges and stress.

For stay-at-home dads it’s a greater challenge to build relationships. They have less of a support system. Their wife works. The other people they meet, mostly females, accept them less whether dropping kids off at school or other functions simply because a male caregiver tends to be less prevalent in Western society.

Stay-at-home dads, however, can receive support through online articles and forums for SAHD.

5. Learning to Nurture Ourselves – Even as men we need to learn how to nurture and re-energize ourselves just as women do, even though if may be more of a challenge. We probably would not take a hot bubble bath, yet we can find hobbies which interest, energize, and distress us. Nurturing can also come from hanging out with the guys or some solitary pursuit like reading or listening to or playing music.

Stay-at-home dads without much time can always find time for a 5 minute stress reliever, even when engaged in house chores or interaction with the children.

Breathe deeply into your abdomen and then out your nose, with your feet firmly on the floor. Breathe out twice as long as you breathe in. For example, breathe in for 4 breaths and out for 8. Do this for at least 5 minutes.

Deep breaths stretch the muscles in your chest and signal your mind for the body to relax.

Many other ways assist as stress relievers. Stress, regardless of the source, has similar remedies for men, dads, and stay-at-home dads.

I have used various stress relief methods throughout my life. Now I take a short nap before work or early afternoon to refresh. I also do yoga on a regular basis, even if it’s only for 10 or 20 minutes. When I am really fatigued in the evening I sometimes take a hot bath with Epsom salts and essence oils for 20 minutes. Last of all, when I come home totally stressed from being eight hours with 25 – 30 teenage girls involved in ongoing emotional drama and crisis, my wife, an energy healer, releases the stress from my body and energy field.

What’s your way of stress management and setting regular times for stress relief?

Check out Michael’s softcover book Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, and Pain on Amazon for an owner’s manual describing practical methods to release your physical and emotional chronic pain, suffering, and emotional stress.

This article may be reproduced with a live link back to http://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/top-5-stress-relief-tips

(Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation by Lori Lite can help reduce stress and anger….even for the tough guys.)

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Stress has a negative impact on your health. It depresses your immune system, interrupts your sleep, and can cause you to overeat or make poor food choices. Fortunately, there are many way to reduce stress as a family.

Tips to Reduce Stress:

• Play and laugh! – It releases the “happy” endorphins in your brain and is an effective way to reduce stress immediately.
• Breathe deeply – Take ten long, deep breaths through your nose. Notice how this makes you feel, and make it a daily practice.
• Think positively – Use your thoughts to reduce stress in your life. Train yourself to flip negative images and thoughts into a positive plan of action.
• Communicate – Establish a support group among your family and friends.
• Eat healthy foods – What you eat affects how you think. Think of your stomach as your second brain.

10 Ways to Bring More Laughter into Your Life:

• Spend time with your kids! They do and say the funniest things, and just being around them can help you reduce stress.
• Play with a pet. Pets are known to lower their owners’ blood pressure and help reduce stress.
• Make time for fun activities that create laughter, like bowling or miniature golf.
• Make it a point to laugh at your self – everyday.
• Watch a funny movie or TV show.
• Share a good joke or a funny story.
• Hang a funny poster.
• Choose a computer screensaver that makes you laugh.
• Spend time with fun, playful people who find the humor in everyday events.
• Listen to a comedian on the radio or rent a DVD and watch it on your weekly “Family Night”.

Gratefulness – The Key to Happiness

One of the most important keys to having a healthy attitude is to learn to be grateful. Here are some simple ways to incorporate a lifestyle of gratitude into your family. Always remember to set the example for the habits you want your kids to adopt.

• Say “Thank You” to everyone – even very young children.
• Be of service to others. Take the time to open the door for someone else or pick up trash when on a walk.
• Keep a journal. Remembering things to be thankful for doesn’t have to be reserved for Thanksgiving day. Make a habit of saying something you are thankful for at mealtime each night or before going to bed. A gratitude journal from their childhood years would make a great present when your children grow up!
• Teach your children financial responsibility by involving them with decisions at the store. Show them how much money you have to spend that day and let them help you pick items that are within the budget.
• Cultivate a spirit of giving back through time and/or resources. Show them examples of others who aren’t as privileged as they are and provide your family opportunities to experience the joy of giving food, clothes, money, time, etc. to others in need.
• Teach kids to see good in someone they don’t like. By always looking for the good in others, kids will learn to be grateful for the little things in life.

Simple thank you comments to all of your daily activities is the easiest way to role model appreciation that they will learn and emulate.

Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. is an series of educational workshops and professional certification trainings that was developed by world renown physician and author of over 40 books, William Sears, MD, and exercise physiologist Sean Foy, MA and is supported by Jim Sears, MD from TV’s hit show The Doctors. Each of the Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. programs focus on helping individuals develop and maintain a sustainable lifestyle of health through their Lifestyle, Exercise, Attitude and Nutrition choices. For more information visit www.drsearslean.com and follow on Twitter and Facebook.

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by Wendy Young

Physical acts of aggression such as biting, hitting and scratching are amongst the biggest concerns voiced by parents and educators of toddlers and preschoolers.  While it’s shocking and probably embarrassing when your child becomes physically aggressive, it’s not unusual behavior for young kids. When children are overcome with feelings such as anger, fear, frustration or disappointment, for example, because another child has possession of a toy they want, they don’t have the language to express it. 

But the question remains, why does a child engage in physical aggression?

To answer this question, I’ll pull from an up and coming book, “Time-In, Not Time-Out”, co-written by Ava Parnass, Dr. Lynne Kenney and me. This soon-to-be-released book tackles some of the most challenging behaviors of early childhood and helps parents and caregivers respond in ways which pull children towards greater success.

To start off, let’s look at this from two separate perspectives; biological and social.

From a Biological Perspective: To a young child, physical aggression seems like the quickest way to get her point across, “I’m frustrated, mad, or overwhelmed.”  Not yet having the verbal skills, or the cognitive ability to process all that is going on around her or inside of her and put it into words, it’s no wonder that objectionable behavior becomes one of the quickest routes the child sees to get her needs met.  A child simply lacks the verbal skills to say, “Hey, that is my toy, I am playing with it, find something else to play with.”  Almost makes you laugh a bit, because when does a child get language like that?

From a Social Perspective: A young child doesn’t yet have the maturity or skills to relax, take a deep breath and express her frustration like an older child could.  Nobody is born with these abilities.  These skills will take time and require a patient, nurturing parent or caregiver to convey and model these abilities.  This is a process and must continually be demonstrated to the child in various areas of her life. 

A Call for Help

Over and over again parents ask, “How do I punish my child out of this behavior?” The answer is, “You Don’t.” We teach children into new behaviors, we cannot punish them out of undesirable ones. Parents and caregivers need to take a deep breath and recognize that physical aggression is one way for a child to say, “I need help from you in figuring out how to do this better.”  Assume when your child bites, or engages in other acts of physical aggression, that she had no other choice available to her at the moment. She needs your support in finding better alternatives.

Wouldn’t life be easier for us big people, if we could look at every misguided behavior in this manner, every single time?  Yes, I think it would!

First Things First: Help the Injured Child

Okay, so the physical altercation has already taken place. What to do?

1. Tend to the injured child first.  Offer comfort measures.
2. Help both parties calm down.
3. Allow the child who caused physical harm to make amends.  This does not mean making them apologize.  The child can apologize if he/she chooses, but that should not be insisted upon by the adult. Most importantly, you will want to help the child heal the relationship with the child she injured by allowing her to offer to fetch an ice-pack or provide the injured child with a stuffed animal or some other “lovie”.
4. Engage both children in a soothing activity, if they are open to it.

The Final Analysis: Help the Child with Misguided Behavior

Tending to the injured child is just one part of the equation.  Your work is not yet done here.  Next, it’s time to help the child with misguided behavior learn some better ways to get her needs met in the future.

You can start by saying things such as:

• “Biting (or hitting or scratching) hurts.  Let’s find a way to tell what you need.”
• “It’s okay to be mad.  Everybody gets mad sometimes.  We can tell other people, ‘I’m mad!’”
• “When you get really angry and don’t know what to do, you can ask for help.”
• “It’s okay to say, “NO” when someone is doing something you don’t like.”
• “You can get your mad feelings out by ripping up old paper or pounding on play-dough.”

What about Consequences?

Ah, the age old dilemma.  “When you mess up, you must pay for it!”  Unfortunately, we are still often stuck in an antiquated way of looking at childhood misbehavior.  Time-out and other aversive methods are counter-productive, because they teach kids to bottle-up and repress their emotions. It punishes them for not knowing what to do. It also shows them that we have no skills or alternatives to teach them. Meeting a child’s needs and teaching her better ways to handle her feelings of upset, in the long run, supports her in learning to meet her own needs in socially proactive ways.

As adults, we are often fooled into thinking that a child’s behavior has improved because we provided them with consequences.  This is not exactly the case.  The reality is that behavior improves when one learns new skills.  Here’s to skill-building for all kids!

Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD is the mom of three kids still at home, an award-winning Child & Family Therapist and the founder of Kidlutions: Solutions for Kids, the Kidlutions Preferred Product Awards, and the Kidlutions Seal of Approval for exceptional products for kids.  She blogs at Spin-Doctor Parenting {and teaching!} and is the behavioral health expert for momtourage.com.

Children need to learn to manage stress and anger in a healthy manner to minimize the chances of biting and hitting. A family that incorporates relaxation into their lives empowers children to have healthy coping strategies. The Indigo Dreams Series addresses stress and anger management for adults, teens, and children. Available in CD or download format.

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By Cindy Springsteen

This time of year with all the good cheer and happiness that goes on, also something very dangerous seems to go along with it. This is not to say that this doesn’t happen all year long, but for some reason during the holiday season more of this happens than other times of the year. People are behind the wheels of their cars and driving drunk. They seem to feel that they are capable of driving and think nothing bad will happen to them. As this is also a stressful time of year for some, even for teens as I discussed in a previous article, they may attempt things that they may not have thought of doing before.

We all know that the drinking age is 21 years old, yet we also know that this doesn’t mean anything to the teens and young adults of today. In a sense I think there is more illegal drinking going on than I have ever heard about before. Telling our teens not to drink or believing that they won’t is not going to change the reality of what is really going on out there.

Teens are drinking, they are getting it from older siblings, stealing from their houses or buying in stores that don’t seem to care if they are of age. They are drinking walking around the streets and at houses with parents that aren’t home. Teens have a tendency to “binge drink” before heading out to parties or out for the evening. This is extremely dangerous as “binge drinking” will cause them to drink much faster in order to not get caught.

The older teens that have a license and a car are also behind the wheel thinking that they can still drive. I feel that I must add in that grown-ups are just as bad when it comes to this as many teens are. Also an important factor to mention is according to much research the teenage brain is not even fully developed until somewhere between the ages of 21 and 25 years old. This information has been proven scientifically and is a main reason why teens are not necessarily stubborn or want to make bad choices; they truly don’t have the brain function to make proper choices for themselves.

So what can we as parents do? In most cases our teens are not going to admit to us that they are drinking. This doesn’t mean that we can’t talk to them about this issue. Remember they think they are indestructible and invincible, didn’t we all at one time? Yet, we see and hear every day of alcohol poisoning, over dosing, car accidents and death as a result of this behavior. Also remember to them it’s party time, it’s the holidays and they want to be with their friends, who might be drinking.

Depending on their age and what you believe the situations that your teen may be placed in, the following is a list of things that should be discussed with your teen/older teen before the holiday parties begin.

Tips to help/discuss with your older teens/young adults of driving age:

• If they are going out with friends and you know for a fact there will drinking. Ask them to designate a key patrol person who is in control of making sure no one gets their car keys back even if they have only had one drink! This should be a strong person as in a drunk state they might be given a hard time if they refuse someone their keys. If they discuss this ahead of time and not during the party night they will be more likely to be open with regard to doing this.

• Set up designated drivers. For one reason or another you will always find someone not drinking. If they set up car pools with others and split gas expenses this might go over a little easier. Each week or new party/event make a different person the volunteer to not drink and make sure that everyone gets home safely. Again, this is best set up when everyone is sober. No one wants to die or get in an accident.

• Things happen if something unexpected arises, make sure they find a sober person to drive. If they can’t find someone make sure they understand as much as you will not be happy about this let them know they can call you anytime of the night and you will come to wherever necessary to pick them up to make sure they get home safely. We parents would rather be woken up than to find out they were too afraid to let us know and wind up in an accident. If your younger teens are with older teens that drive or siblings make sure you explain they are not to get in a car under any circumstances with someone who has been drinking, back to call home anytime rule.

• No matter what, do not let a friend or anyone you know get behind the wheel of a car and drive. Do not believe when they say “I only had one hour ago.” One is all it takes! They may get mad at you, but if they are really your friend when they are sober they will understand that you cared enough about them and yourself to not let them get behind the wheel. Everyone wants to have a good time, but no one’s life is worth the risk or taking a risk with someone else life they are responsible for, or possibly an innocent persons life.

• For our illegal not driving drinkers, we don’t want to admit it but we know it is happening, talk to them! They are not going to like what you say, but this is such a dangerous time of year. Not to say the rest of the year isn’t dangerous it always is, but this time of year things seem to happen more so. Make sure there are serious consequences should you find out they were involved in doing this.  Check them closely when they come home, make sure your awake. Look for signs that they have been drinking and smell their breath.

• Let your teens know how much they mean to you and how much you love them! Show them this article. Then show them pictures of teen drunk driving accidents and video’s they all love those videos on “YouTube.” Do this during a time, not right before they are walking out the door, find a good time to share all this information and maybe we can all work together and save some lives this Holiday Season? 

Cindy Springsteen is a published poetry writer, whose first children’s book “Waffles and Pancakes” will be released in the Spring of 2012. She has been writing since she was in her teens. She is also am editor/freelance writer for Patch.com. Many of you many know her as CindyTeenAdvice on twitter. She spent many years researching and writing about parenting teenagers for various publications, along with her own website www.cindy-springsteen.com.You can also follow her on Facebook.

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

Just say the word homework to most teens, children, or parents and watch their whole mood change as every cell of their mind and body heads into stress mode. Holidays, weekends, and downtime is a great time to have a new look at how you and your children approach homework. Reducing homework stress can turn homework into a positive experience that teaches your child lifelong skills. When homework is too extensive and time consuming it can have a negative impact on your entire family. Stress can get in the way of a child’s ability to learn and retain information. Take a good look at your child’s homework routine. If your child ends up crying, sleep deprived or quitting activities to have more time to complete assignments they may be experiencing stress overload.

10 Tips: Reducing Homework Stress:

• Purchase a second set of used textbooks to keep at home. This is especially helpful for children that have difficulty juggling assignments and organizing. It is also a healthy choice for your child’s spine. Amazon.com
  makes it easy and affordable.
• Break it down. Set smaller goals to complete a portion of the assignment.  Reward your child with a break.  Let your child set a timer to alert them that their break is over. This eliminates power struggles and empowers children.
• Encourage children to review work each night so that when it is time for a test they are not overloaded with information.
• Use affirmations or positive statements like, “I can do it.” This auto-affirmer is a fun way to introduce positive statements.
• Set up an area in your home dedicated to homework and studying. An area clear of chaos makes it easier to focus and feel calm.
• Teach children relaxation techniques. Take a deep breath in and say “Ahhhhh” to release anger and frustration. Stress management should be introduced during calm moments so they can be implemented when needed.
• Have a healthy snack or even a meal before homework. It is difficult to concentrate and feel balanced when hungry or eating sugar. I actually served a full dinner at 3:30 when my kids got off the bus and before they sat down for homework. This adjustment made a huge difference.
• Brain breaks should be taken. Don’t expect children to be able to sit still for long periods of time. Let them move as needed. Blow bubbles outside in the fresh air. Do jumping jacks, run, or have a good laugh. Exercising and deep breathing brings oxygen to your child’s brain and reduces stress.
• Stay positive about and during homework. Children listen and internalize negative statements and movements. A positive hopeful attitude is contagious. If you believe they can do it…they will believe they can do it.
• Help your child understand directions, organize, and create a time management plan.  Many children waste time by doing the homework incorrectly because they did not understand the directions. Going over them ahead of time saves time and frustration. Don’t forget your teen. They have more on their plate and could use your guidance and experience.
• Ask your children what type of music helps them to feel more relaxed when they work. Allow them to find what works for them. Indigo Dreams: Kid’s Relaxation Music was created specifically for children. It is relaxing and uplifting. Some children need complete quiet and some do better with background noise. Let them learn what works best for them and honor it.

Even with taking steps to alleviate stress, experts warn that difficult homework assignments and the pressure to complete multiple projects can cause anxiety, frustration, and even anger for kids. Homework that creates an anxiety-ridden child is defeating the overall goal of creating a well-rounded, balanced, successful child. Parents need to step in and get involved if they see this happening to their child. Be an advocate for your child. If they are overwhelmed by homework and it is affecting their quality of life, speak up. You child’s teacher will appreciate your honesty.

Indigo Dreams shorter stories with relaxation techniques for younger child. 

Indigo Ocean Dreams longer stories with relaxation techniques for older children.

Indigo Teen Dreams guided instructions with relaxation techniques for teens.

Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation guided instructions with relaxation techniques for adults.

Indigo Dreams: Garden of Wellness stories for all children includes bubble blowing technique to release anger and  positive statements to encourage healthy eating.

Indigo Dreams: 3 CD Set: All 3 children’s CDs: 3 Hours of stories, techniques & stories

Stress Free Kids founder Lori Lite has created a line of books and CDs designed to help children, teens, and adults decrease stress, anxiety, and anger. Ms. Lite’s books, CDs, and lesson plans are considered a resource for parents, psychologists, therapists, child life specialists, teachers, and yoga instructors. Lori is a certified children’s meditation facilitator and Sears’ Manage My Life parenting expert. For more information visit  Stress Free Kids and for daily advice follow Lori on Twitter and Facebook. Questions can be submitted to media@stressfreekids.com.

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

Holiday crowds, lights, noise, strangers, hugging, change in routine, chaos…. This is a recipe for stress and sensory overload during the holidays with special needs children. As parents we need to be flexible with our own definition of what a holiday should look like. Our childhood traditions and rituals just may not work with our special needs children. Let’s create new memories and newly define what holidays look like for our own families. All children can benefit from this exercise and for those with Autism, Aspergers, or Sensory Processing issues, self-regulating is a way of life. When you have a child with special needs… a little stress management planning can go a long way. 

Set Up a Safe Brain Break Space: Your child can enjoy downtime when they feel over-stimulated at your house or at your relatives. Set up a brain break space and be sure that the other children and guests know that this space is off-limits. Empower your special needs child to recognize when they need to go to their brain break space. Practice, practice, practice…. ahead of time to recognize when mood is escalating… Did I say practice? Empower children by packing a relaxation bag they can go to if they are feeling anxious. Bring earphones and their special relaxation music or stories. Play dough, stress ball, music, video game, even a camera can help children relax and give them a focus if they have social anxiety.

The Indigo Dreams Series gives you stories that incorporate actual relaxation techniques. The stories and music can be downloaded to an iPod or iPad. The other kids may actually be jealous…give them their own space to de-stress. You may start a new trend!

Get Ready: Social stories, books, and movies can be a big help in preparing your child emotionally for holidays. Comfortable clothing and small dose exposures to holiday sounds can help physically. Think ahead with an eye for anxiety causing issues. If wrapping paper too loud? Use easy open bags or just decorate with a bow. Are the electronic bears with bells at Grandma’s house going to cause sensory overload? Ask her to unplug them before you get there. Let friends and family know about triggers ahead of time. If your child doesn’t like to be hugged suggest a handshake or just a wave. Your friends, family, and special needs children will be glad you did.

Prepare Your Children For Gatherings: Eliminate unnecessary anxiety associated with getting together with family members you rarely see by looking through photos of relatives prior to your event. Play memory games matching names to faces. This will help your children feel more comfortable with people they may not have seen in a while. Aunt Mary won’t seem quite so scary when she bends down to greet your child.

Use Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate deep breathing or other coping strategies into your day. Let your children see you use techniques when you are feeling stressed. Encourage them to use relaxation techniques on a daily basis. Breathing, visualizing, and positive thinking are powerful tools.

Incorporate Positive Statements Into Your Dinner: This is empowering and reflective. Each person at the table can state an attribute of their own that they are thankful for. For example, “I am thankful that I am creative.” Feeling stressed? Try, “I am thankful that I am calm.” Your special needs child can prepare ahead with a drawing or sign language if they want to participate without speaking.

Don’t Rush: It’s simple; none of us are very good at rushing in a relaxed way. The two just do not go together. It is impossible for children or teens to rush without getting angry. Make sure you leave enough time to enjoy the journey and avoid meltdowns. Children with special needs should be given notice of transitions.

Write Things Down: Getting the constant chatter and lists out of your head decreases stress and anxiety. Kids love making lists. Give them a clipboard or dry erase board. Help your child make a list of what they want to do for the holiday. It might be helping decorate or what to pack for self-care relaxation bag. This will help you relax and help your children feel involved. Encourage them to add happy words like laugh or draw a smile face on their list.

Schedule Downtime: Don’t overbook your children. It’s important to use holiday time for relaxation. Try staying in pajamas till noon. Pop your favorite popcorn and watch a movie when you wake up. You’ll be surprised how an hour or two of relaxation can rejuvenate your children’s bodies, minds, and spirits.

Shopping: Avoid taking your children shopping on the busiest shopping days of the year. The chaos, noise of large crowds, and long lines will definitely add stress to your life. If your child is absolutely known to meltdown during shopping you can select a few gifts and bring them home. Set up a shopping experience in your home for your child. The whole family can participate. Have a checkout counter and a gift-wrapping table. 

Be Flexible: Relax your expectations and definitions of what a fun experience is for your children. Most of us do not need the full blown exhausting experience of holidays to reflect that we had a good time. A few positive minutes is worth a lifetime of memories!

Let The Children Participate: Let your children do one thing for the holiday that makes them feel proud. Kids can collect acorns or place a few jingle bells into a bowl for a beautiful stress free centerpiece.  Children can fold the napkins or put the forks out. Let them draw a special picture to place on your guest’s chair. Be prepared to accept their participation as perfect and wonderful. Restrain for correcting or straightening out the napkins and enjoy the holidays with your special needs child!

Stress Free Kids founder Lori Lite has created a line of books and CDs designed to help children, teens, and adults decrease stress, anxiety, and anger. Ms. Lite’s books, CDs, and lesson plans are considered a resource for parents, psychologists, therapists, child life specialists, teachers, and yoga instructors. Lori is a certified children’s meditation facilitator and Sears’ Manage My Life parenting expert. For more information visit  Stress Free Kids and for daily advice follow Lori on Twitter and Facebook. 

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

By Judy Converse MPH, RD, LD

In my pediatric nutrition practice, problems with sleep are more common than many parents would like to admit. It can keep whole families awake and exhausted year after year, if a young household member has trouble sleeping. If your child has sleep problems as well as aversions to light, noise, touch, clothing on skin, or varied food textures, sensory integration techniques can calm and organize their nervous systems to promote sleep at the right times. The other part of this equation is supplying the brain and nervous system with the right nutrients for calming chemistry, with helpful foods and nutrients.

Babies and kids normally drop off within 15-30 minutes on their own, once settled into a sleep pattern, and can usually stay asleep. When insomnia regularly disrupts this, the health costs start to mount: Immune function suffers, as can learning and developmental tasking during the day. Cortisol, a stress hormone, will rise and remain elevated at the wrong times, which has many negative effects on metabolism. Try this nutrition checklist for better sleep:

1 – Omit reactive foods. There are three types of reactions to foods: Allergy, sensitivity, and intolerance. Any of these problems can be active at once, and to more than one food. These can impede children for everything from growth and appetite to sleep and mood. It is harder to make calming brain chemistry when the food proteins we use to make it are triggering inflammation on a daily basis, or are poorly absorbed. The good news is, this is very responsive to nutrition care. In my practice, I use pediatric nutrition assessment tools to sort these out; lab testing may be needed, depending on the case. Ask your pediatrician or local naturopathic doctor where to start. If you have a hunch about a triggering food, trial a withdrawal period of at least one month; longer is better. If nothing improves, this may mean other foods were also problematic during the trial. This is when lab tests can help.

2 – Should you worry about gluten? Only if it bothers your child! If gluten sensitivity is active, it can disrupt sleep as well as absorption of many other nutrients. Migraines, poor focus/attention, weaker than expected growth, mood swings, or skin and stool changes can accompany gluten sensitivity. Click here for more on how to tell if gluten free diets and sensitivity screening are for you.

3 – Mineralize! The nervous system depends on a good supply of minerals to run neurotransmitter chemistry. Magnesium is especially useful here. Foods with magnesium include flax seeds, sesame tahini, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, almonds, cashews, and edamame (boiled soy beans). It’s common for kids’ diets to be low in magnesium, or for kids to have allergies to those foods. In that case, give your child a luxurious bedtime bath with Epsom salts (magnesium sulfate) dissolved in the water. Use about a cup in a regular size tub, and less for smaller children bathing in less water. Both the magnesium and the sulfur will be absorbed through skin to enrich liver and digestive enzyme pathways, and calm nerve cell transmission. Add a drop or two of lavender essential oil to heighten the calming effect.

Iron is another key nutrient for sleep; insomnia is a symptom of poor iron status. Iron rich foods should be eaten often: Lentils, chick peas, kidney beans, pumpkin seeds, beef (organic and grass fed if possible), baked potato skins, and spinach. Herbs like nettles or chamomile contain iron and can be sipped as teas too. If these foods aren’t part of your child’s day, add a multivitamin with iron or an herbal supplement like Floradix Iron Plus Herbs. Don’t exceed 10 mg/day without medical supervision, since iron is toxic at the wrong dose. If you think your child may be low in iron, have your doctor screen ferritin and serum iron level in blood.

If you notice your child grinding his teeth at night, zinc may be part of the puzzle. It’s easy to supplement with zinc lozenges or enjoy nuts, seeds, organic pork or lamb, or shellfish, if you eat fish. Children can add 10-30 mg zinc/day if they are low in this nutrient.

4 – Eat more! It may surprise you to hear that not eating enough, rather than eating too much, is something I encounter very often in practice, when I evaluate children’s diets. Kids need a lot more food per pound than adults – they’re growing, and working hard to learn and neurologically integrate all the events of the day. A very general rule of thumb: Your child’s age in years + 1000 = a ballpark figure for total calories per day. So, a 7 year old child should have about 1700 calories/day. If that child is very active, this will bump it up even higher. If that child is already underweight, the calorie needs go higher still. Waking at night after falling asleep readily is a sign that bigger meals or more snacks during the day may help your child sleep more soundly. Allow ample healthy fats and oils (coconut, avocado, nuts, seeds, nut butters, olive oil, organic dairy if tolerated, organic meats, and a supplemental fish oil are good sources), plus fresh fruits, whole grains, or calorie dense vegetables like beans, squashes, pumpkin, yams, or potato.

These are just a few steps for deeper, easier sleep. Supplements can help too, but it’s always best to start with food. For more information on using tools like melatonin, tryptophan, 5-htp, or other herbs and supplements for insomnia in children, see the chapter on sleep in Special Needs Kids Go Pharm-Free: Nutrition-Focused Tools To Help Kids Minimize Meds and Maximize Health and Well Being.

Bio: Judy Converse, MPH, RD, LD has worked as a research technician, nutrition educator, grant writer, and outpatient dietitian. She has had her own practice in pediatric nutrition since 1999. Her professional path was informed by her son’s many challenges with feeding, growth, and development.  Author of three books, she has created an accredited learning module on nutrition and autism for dietitians and nurses, testified before state and federal lawmakers for safer vaccines, consulted with industry partners on specialized formulas for infants and children with inflammatory conditions, and has also assisted non-profits and hospitals serving children with special needs.

Indigo Dreams: Garden of Wellness CD has a story designed to support children as they make healthy food choices. Caterpillar Choices encourages children to use positive statements and demonstrates the effects food choices can have on the way they feel.

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

Santa, relatives, parties and the mall can make children nervous or even tremble with fear. Relaxation breathing for children is an effective self-soothing skill they can use before or during their visit with Santa and relatives. Any child with anxiety, Autism, Aspergers, or Sensory Processing Disorders can benefit from this technique. All children can use deep breathing for stress management, anger management, and falling asleep. Practicing breathing prior to stressful events empowers children. Please enjoy the following excerpt from my breathing book  Sea Otter Cove: A Relaxation Story .This story is also available on the Indigo Ocean Dreams CD and in Spanish. It is fun to learn relaxation breathing with a sea otter and sea child.

Excerpt:

The sea child told the sea otter to breathe in through his nose and out through his nose.  He focused all of his attention on the tip of his nose.

They both did this breathing together.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose.

In 2, 3, 4… out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4… out 2, 3, 4.

The sea child told the sea otter that he could breathe this way whenever he felt angry or scared or nervous. He could focus on the air moving in and out of the tip of his nose, and he could feel calm. The sea otter placed his hands on his belly, and felt it lift up and down as the air moved in and out. For a few moments they both did this breathing together.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose.

In 2, 3, 4… out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4… out 2, 3, 4.

The sea child’s mind began to wander. She imagined that her thoughts were a feather as she blew them away with her next breath out.  She focused her attention on her breath again as she drew in a breath of warm fragrant sea air.

She liked the way it felt to quiet her mind.

She focused on the way the air felt moving in and out of her nose. She felt her belly lift up and down as the sea child and the sea otter continued to breathe together.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose.

In 2, 3, 4… out 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4… out 2, 3, 4.

In 2,3, 4…out 2,3,4.

(A powerful variation of this breathing technique is to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. The Ahhhh sound can also be added to the exhale. Angry Octopus uses this type of breathing)

This story and more can be found on the Indigo Ocean  Dreams CD/mp3

 Stress Free Kids founder Lori Lite has created a line of books and CDs designed to help children, teens, and adults decrease stress, anxiety, and anger. Ms. Lite’s books, CDs, and lesson plans are considered a resource for parents, psychologists, therapists, child life specialists, teachers, and yoga instructors. Lori is a certified children’s meditation facilitator and Sears’ Manage My Life parenting expert. For more information visit  Stress Free Kids and for daily advice follow Lori on Twitter and Facebook. 

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

Family holidays are meant for relaxing around a leisurely meal with friends and loved ones. A few tips for Thanksgiving can get your family to the  table with more smiles and less stress.

Prepare Your Children For Gatherings: Eliminate unnecessary anxiety associated with family gatherings. Look through photos of relatives the day before your event. Play memory games matching names to faces. This will help your children feel more comfortable with people they may not have seen in a while. Aunt Mary won’t seem quite so scary when she bends down to greet your child.

Write Things Down: Getting the constant chatter and lists out of your head decreases stress and anxiety. Kids love making lists. Give them a clip board or dry erase board. Assign them each a list. This will help you relax and help your children feel involved. Make sure they write “take a deep breath” and “laugh” somewhere on your list.

Incorporate Affirmations/Positive Statements Into Your Thanksgiving Dinner: This is empowering and reflective. Each person at the table can state an attribute of their own that they are thankful for. For example, “I am thankful that I am creative.” Feeling stressed? Try, “I am thankful that I am calm.” Your special needs child can prepare ahead with a drawing or sign language if they want to participate without speaking.

Don’t Rush: It’s simple; none of us are very good at rushing in a relaxed way. The two just do not go together. It is impossible for children or teens to rush. Make sure you leave enough time to enjoy the journey. Children with special needs should be given notice of transitions.

Schedule Downtime: Don’t overbook your children. It’s important to use this time for relaxation. Try staying in pajamas till noon. Pop your favorite popcorn and watch a movie when you wake up. You’ll be surprised how an hour or two of relaxing can rejuvenate your children’s bodies, minds, and spirits. Set up a safe space your child can enjoy downtime when they feel overstimulated at your house or at your relatives. Bring earphones and their special relaxation music or stories. The Indigo Dreams Series gives you choices and actual relaxation techniques. You can download it to their iPod.

Shopping: Avoid taking your children shopping on the busiest shopping days of the year. The chaos, noise of large crowds, and long lines will definitely add stress to your life. If your child is absolutely known to meltdown during shopping you can select a few gifts and bring them home. Set up a shopping experience in your home for your child. The whole family can participate. Have a checkout counter and a gift wrapping table. 

Be Flexible: Don’t argue with your relatives just to win small arguments. Be an example of calm and peace to your children. Tell them what you are doing. Ask them to be flexible with the other children at the gathering. Discuss possible issues you know will come up, like sharing. Role-play solutions. Remind teens to be patient when listening to stories from Uncle Joe.

Let The Children Participate: Let your teen create place cards or a centerpiece. Let you little ones put the forks and napkins out. Let them draw a special Thanksgiving picture to place on your guest’s chair. Be prepared to accept their participation as perfect and wonderful. Restrain from correcting or straightening out the napkins. 

Share Memories: Take a stroll down memory lane. Laugh at Thanksgivings past. Think of some of your favorite things you did as a child during fall. Go outside after dinner and step on leaves and crunch acorns with your children. Help them make a pile of leaves and jump in with them. It is easy to get caught up in the holidays and some of our most memorable were the ones that we kept simple.

Happy Thanksgiving from Stress Free Kids!

Learn to handle stress better with Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation…made by a real mom…feeling real stress…

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids