When I think of happy stress free kids , I have visions of laughing children unbothered by dirtied knees and sweat soaked clothes. Children of all ages playing together, creating and scheming as they chase fireflies to fill their glass jar with nature’s light with the hopes of attracting faeries. STOP! I am already hearing parents saying “don’t run.. you might fall…don’t use a a glass jar it might break and cut you…don’t be so loud…you are bothering the neighbors….don’t catch all the fireflies because they will become extinct and faeries are only in fairytales..”  STOP!  These are the types of anxiety causing statements I hear from well-meaning parents all of the time. I hope that this post inspires all of us to loosen up a bit and let kids be kids.. Summertime for me was filled with stress free moments that included blowing bubbles, climbing trees, chasing fireflies with my brothers, and watching for faeries. These memories inspired me to create magical, musical melodies of relaxation music for children designed to capture the joyful and stress free moments of childhood.

H – Hoping and knowing that they will catch many fireflies

A – Anticipating nothing but success and joy in all their adventures

P – Positive that bubbles fill with wishes will reach the ears of a faery

P – Passionate about reaching their goals no matter how many fireflies they miss

Y – Youthful energy untainted by doubt or fear

K – Kisses and good wishes for their job well done for themselves and others

I - Imaginations growing with each leap and each wish filled bubble

D – Deliciously surprised and satisfied by their accomplishments

S – Stress Free moments and carefree hours that add up to a lifetime of happiness.

Blowing bubbles is a whimsical way for children to reduce stress, anger, and fears. Children can visualize filling bubbles with negative emotions they would like to get rid of. My CD Indigo Dreams: Garden of Wellness features a track entitled Bubble Blowing to get you going. Fairies encourage children to use affirmations.

Firefly chasing is so inspirational to me that Indigo Dreams: Kid’s Relaxation Music features a track entitled Firefly Flight. These magical musical melodies are designed to relax and inspire children.

Stress Free Kids founder Lori Lite has created a line of books and CDs designed to help children, teens, and adults decrease stress, anxiety, and anger. Ms. Lite’s books, CDs, and lesson plans are considered a resource for parents, psychologists, therapists, child life specialists, teachers, and yoga instructors. Lori is a certified children’s meditation facilitator and Sears’ Manage My Life parenting expert. For more information visit  Stress Free Kids and for daily advice follow Lori on Twitter and Facebook.

A special thank you  to Liza for allowing me to use her magical image with this post.

Since birth, I have loved the faeries.  I believe I was born an artist and simply needed to nurture and develop the ability.  I believe we are all born to do something special.  Soon as I became proficient with holding my bottle I began wielding a crayon!  From there, out popped a faery.:D As I have matured, I have begun to take my little muse more seriously about her passion for art and her joy of inspiration and here we are!  I love children animals and nature. My work is born out of this love and respect for life. I believe that which is born from love is magical. Do you believe in faeries?   – Liza Lambertini

My website is http://www.faeriewood.com

Find me on twitter at https://twitter.com/#!/LizasArt

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By Meghan O’Hara

I am always trying to find new and innovative ways to help my students navigate the complex world of childhood. I am constantly manipulating strategies I find on social media outlets such as Pinterest and educational blogs. I love to see what other educators are doing and I enjoy trying to adapt these ideas to fit our diverse classroom.

After reading the all4mychild blog post about the interactive book The Angry Octopus by Lori Lite, I was compelled to check it out. After not just reading but experiencing the story with my students, I was inspired to bring that Octopus into our classroom permanently.

In the story, the Octopus becomes angry when his rock garden is ruined over night by some lobsters. We physically see his anger grow in the black cloud of ink that spreads further and further into the surrounding sea. That ink gives us a visual of what anger would look like if we could physically watch it grow. We can feel that growing anger as we watch the waves moving slowly and the screen getting more and more black. We feel mad and confused and we don’t understand why those lobsters messed up that rock garden!

Luckily, we are saved as the Mermaid rescues us with her soothing voice calmly giving the octopus, and his sympathizers, some strategies to manage anger. She suggests more than one strategy ranging from stretches to breathing realizing he may need more than one. She repeats this ritual until the ink has dissipated and the problem is small enough to discuss and solve.

We watched this story unfold as a class on our iPads. We stretched and took deep breaths with the Octopus and related his rock garden to experiences in our own lives. The students took this lesson to heart realizing while they will get angry it is up to them to control their anger before it spreads like the ink cloud in the ocean. (Angry Octopus App on iTunes)

After our meaningful discussion we decided to make our own Octopus to remind us how to manage our own anger. We talked as a class and narrowed down 8 strategies to manage anger. (8 for 8 arms of course) We have everything from taking a break to dancing off our anger. The students were able to give their input and as such they took ownership of the activity and the strategies. We hung the Octopus on our door and refer to it often. I love the non-verbal cue I can give the students and I love watching them use it on their own to self regulate their emotions and the behaviors associated with them. Educational blogs like all4mychild have really transformed my classroom and my teaching alike. Our next lesson is only a click away!

Meghan O’Hara majored in Elementary and Special Education at La Salle University in Philadelphia.  She has taught in many different learning environments ages Junior Kindergarten- 8th grade.  Currently she is the 1st and 2nd grade Teacher at the Tobin School in Natick, Massachusetts.  Her multi-age classroom focuses on individualizing programs for students using both an academic and social approach.  She is excited to blog about her experiences and hopes they are helpful to other educators!

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Today’s teenagers are inundated with an overload of information, expectations, and input. They’re more connected globally than ever before, while still being unsure of how to effectively manage close personal relationships. They may have a Facebook account, but not have much practice in having healthy one-on-one conversations. You may battle with them over putting down their cell phones, turning off the computer games, and staying engaged at school. Whether you’re the sort of parent who tries to micromanage your teen’s life or one who stays completely out of it, there are things you can do to help your teen manage their stress.

Take a look at these six ways you can help your teenager reduce their S.T.R.E.S.S. levels, and watch how much better they (and you) feel!

1. S. is for Simplify. Is your teenager over-committed and over-busy? Are they showing a lack of interest in all those activities they used to find enjoyable? It might be a situation of activity overload. Even good things can create stress. If your teenager’s after-school hours and weekend life is filled to the brim with sports practice, music lessons, and other formal activities, you may want to evaluate the need to help them simplify their lives. Remember that teenagers are still developing their ability to evaluate and make choices. Have a sit-down conversation. Write down all the things your teen is involved in, and discuss what activities they truly enjoy and which ones they’re involved in because of peer- or parent-pressure.
2.  T. is for Tools. Teenagers want to hear your wisdom, but are often stuck in making sweeping statements about how they don’t need you at all. Take some time to evaluate your teen’s style of hearing you, then provide tools they can use to reduce their stress levels in a way they can understand. Is your teen stuck in social media overload? Help them manage their time by limiting computer or phone time and helping them get involved with in-person interactions. Is your teen experiencing an overload of hormonal changes? Spend some one-on-one time helping them understand what’s happening physically and emotionally. Simple exercises like deep breathing, walking, and listening to calming music can make an enormous difference in the stress level your teenager feels.
3. R. is for Redo. Teenagers are on a grand adventure of discovering who they are, while hearing constant messages from friends, family, and society about how they have to be different then who they are. You can help reduce your teen’s stress level by creating an atmosphere where a “do-over” is acceptable and even encouraged. When your teenager has a verbal meltdown, offer them the opportunity to re-send you their message just using better words. When your teen completely blows it, encourage them to come up with a way to make it right rather than imposing punishment. You can help your teen learn personal accountability while reducing their stress levels by letting home be the place where they can intentionally practice the growing up process.
4. E. is for Empathy. Your teenager is likely convinced that you don’t really understand what they’re going through. And they just may be right! Things have changed rather dramatically over the last generation or two, and the pressures on teens have never been greater. However, you can choose to become a collaborator with your teen by frequently expressing to them your support and understanding of their emotional journey. While the details of teen life have changed, the underlying process of growing up is still the same. Tell your teen that you’re proud of who they’re becoming, even on days when they’re messing up. Leave notes, send text messages, compliment them in public, and ask questions calmly (not a lecture!) about what your teen feels stressed about. It doesn’t much matter how you would handle a stressful situation. What matters is that you’re willing to help your teen find their own way to walk through stress. Communicate that often, in as many ways as you can think of.
5. S. is for Solid. Whether your teen seems to float through the growing-up journey with little sign of stress, or if they’re constantly floundering, they desperately need you to provide them with a SOLID foundation from which to grow. This is where many parents drop the ball. Your own personal journey, your emotional and spiritual life, is what your teenager is watching for clues of how to do things (or not do things) better. Is your own foundation solid? Would you be proud for your teen son or daughter to follow you? Have you gotten stuck in a “Do as I say not as I do” mentality? Take a close look at your own stress management, and make necessary changes so you’re giving your teenager a solid example from which they can grow.
6. S. is for Symphony. There are about 20 different instruments played by upwards of 50 musicians in a symphony orchestra. No one instrument is more important than another, and together they make beautiful music. The secret to making that music, though, is in the hundreds and thousands of hours devoted to practicing together. Helping your teenager make their own beautiful music is just like that. Provide an atmosphere where who they are becoming is important, heard, and honored. Give them opportunities to practice their “music”, and the tools they need to manage life.

 Every teenager is unique, and each is on a journey. You have a priceless opportunity to help your teenager navigate the tough adolescent years while learning ways to reduce their stress that will last their lifetime. Practicing S.T.R.E.S.S. will help you and your teen enjoy the journey!

 Ronae Jull knows that parenting teens is tough! Ronae writes as the HOPE Coach at RonaeJull.com, where she offers practical tools for parenting teens without losing your mind. Pre-order your copy of My Teenager Is The Problem and get it signed by the HOPE Coach. No matter how discouraged you feel about your relationship with your teenager, there is always HOPE.

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Did You Know that a Concussion Can Change Your Child?

There’s no doubt that sports are a great way for kids and teens to stay healthy, as well as learn important leadership and team-building skills. However, there are unacceptable risks in sports, especially when it comes to a concussion. Do you know anyone who has survived a concussion or traumatic brain injury? If so, then you know how long the symptoms can persist and how dramatically it can change their life.

Survivors of a traumatic brain injury have reported dramatic changes in behaviors, memory loss, depression and even difficulty concentrating. The medical community has labeled this as post concussion syndrome. It doesn’t discriminate against age, anyone who has had a significant head impact are at risk. Car crashes, hits to the head in sports, falls from any height, and even shaken baby syndrome– just to name a few causes.

In order to decrease the numbers of concussion cases, the CDC and the NFL have teamed up to create a movement to help educate parents, coaches, and athletes about the signs and symptoms. Here are a few things that every parent needs to know before signing their child up for athletics:

What is a concussion?

A concussion is a type of traumatic brain injury caused by a bump, blow, or jolt to the head or by a hit to the body that causes the head and brain to move rapidly back and forth. While most athletes with a concussion recover quickly and fully, some will have symptoms that last for days, or even weeks. A more serious concussion can last for months or longer.

What can you do as a parent?

1. Know the signs and symptoms of a traumatic brain injury. Read all the latest information on the CDC Heads Up site. Talk with your coaches, athletic trainers, players and others in the sports community about your findings. The more eyes on the game the better chances of catching possible injuries.
2. Team up with the coach and other parents. Get together with anyone involved in the athletic department to design a concussion action plan, if they don’t already have one. Provide resources for everyone to read about the signs and symptoms of a concussion. The more involved, the better the outcomes.
3. Take action. Order the poster for young athletes created by the CDC in partnership with the NFL Health and Safety. Hang it in the locker rooms for everyone to see. Encourage coaches, other parents, athletes and anyone involved in the athletic department to read the educational materials about concussions signs and symptoms provided by Heads Up.
4. Educate your athlete on when to sit it out. The overwhelming message in sports has been “Be tough! Shake it off!” Your child needs to know that it is all right to sit out a game or too if they don’t feel right. Especially if they are recovering from a hard hit to the head, sitting out is mandatory.
5. Know about the Zachary Lystedt law protecting young athletes. The Zachary Lystedt law was created to protect young athletes, and it is being passed in many states. Check to see if your state has approved it and if your athletic department adheres to the regulations.
6. When in doubt seek medical attention. If you suspect a possible head injury, don’t hesitate to seek medical attention. You can’t be too careful when it comes to a head injury. The CDC reports that over 50% of all head injuries go unreported. There are approximately over 173,000 cases of traumatic brain injuries in young athletes under the age of 19 each year.

All parents, coaches, and school and health care professionals need to be dedicated to improving the lives of young athletes nationwide. I encourage you to join the NFL Commissioner’s call to action to hang a concussion education poster in every locker room and school nationwide. Concussions can happen in any sport. So I encourage you to help get concussion education into the hands of coaches, parents, and athletes on every sideline and bench nationwide.

To learn more about concussion, visit CDC’s website.

Young athletes can benefit from learning diaphragmatic breathing, visualizing, and positive confidence building statements. The Indigo Dreams CD Series introduces children and teens to techniques that can help to improve their confidence, stamina, and reduce stress associated with sports performance. Proper breathing is critical to athletic performance.

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You don’t need to be Irish to tap into St. Patty’s Day. Put your own spin on this holiday to get your Irish (or not) eyes smiling and your soul relaxing. Playful family traditions reduce stress and strengthen relationships. Here are a few tips to eat, drink, be merry, and relaxed for St. Patrick’s Day.

Tips:

Go Green:

Brighten your day with green at your breakfast table. Use a green tablecloth. Put a green plant on the table: crocus, daffodil or even a cactus will brighten the mood. Fun green plates or green candles can get your family in the mood for spring. Start the day talking about the rainforest, leprechauns, or playing Rainforest Relaxation Music during breakfast.

Eat:

Serve up an Irish dish or eat something green. Many kids will eat spinach dip, asparagus, or even Edamame beans, especially when you tell them it is the food of Leprechauns!

Drink:

Try Green Tea or a green vegetable drink. (my favorite is Kyo-Green)

Be Merry:

Wear green, listen to Irish music, and dance around the house. Do an Irish gig with the kids. Watch a few minutes of River Dance…and the kids will jump into action.

Get Outside:

Take the kids or whole family  for a nature walk and look for signs of leprechauns. Use a camera and encourage children to take photos of clues. Have a green item scavenger hunt. See how many green things you can find and make a list. Leave a shoe outside your door with something shiny in it to entice a leprechaun to leave a piece of candy or little gift. Use green sidewalk chalk to make shamrocks or arrows that take the leprechauns on a fun path to follow.

Be Hopeful: 

Blow green outdoor colored bubbles (Crayola makes them). Imagine that you are filling the bubbles with hope filled wishes… 

Create:

Storytelling or story creating is a fun way to foster creativity, laughter, and relaxation. Sit outside or around the diner table and create a progressive story. Each family member can add a portion of the story… A leprechaun woke up under a mushroom with one of his pointy shoes missing… 

Arts and Crafts:

Use lots of gold and green to make a leprechaun house out of an old shoebox or cereal box. Finger paint with shades of green. Look for clover and press them into the paint. Use items from your recycling bin.  Lots of ideas on art and crafts projects with recycled materials can be found at PlanetPals.com.

Relax:

The color green can be used to rejuvenate, calm, or heal. Sit quietly and visualize the color green filling every cell in your body. Focus on breathing in healing green air and out healing green air.  See the green filling your lungs and heart. A Boy and a Turtle and Bubble Riding are both visualization stories that teach children to relax with colors. Both of these relaxation stories are available on audio CD or downloads.Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation teaches adults how to fill their body with colors and Indigo Teen Dreams introduces teenagers to visualizing and working with colors.

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by Elizabeth O’Shea

Just like adults, children get angry. And due to their inexperience they don’t have the experience or self-control to know how to deal with it. By our actions we help our little ones learn how to deal with frustrations. If they live in a household where shouting and hitting are acceptable they will copy this behaviour from the adults around them. The important message we need to give to our children is:

It is OK to be angry, but not to hurt people or property

So how do we teach our children acceptable ways of expressing anger?

1. By modeling what we want them to do –such as taking time out when we are angry, asking assertively for what we want and by finding an appropriate outlet for our physical energy
2. Find an object that helps your child calm down. Some children will be comforted by a blanket, special soft toy, or soft cushion.
3. By having an area or corner where they can go when they feel angry – and have materials to draw an angry picture, rip up newspaper, bubble wrap to stamp on, a punch ball or pillow to punch, or a mini trampoline to jump on.

Although some of these are not ‘adult’ ways of behaving, it can help if a child can make small steps towards dealing with their anger until they are mature enough to try different strategies.

4. Ways of getting rid of pent-up angry energy can be running up and down the garden ten times or running up and down the stairs twenty times. A drum kit in the garage can also be very therapeutic!
5. Taking time out – both for adults and children can be a useful strategy.
6. Some parents find holding their child firmly helps the child feel safe when they are angry. But do this with caution – an angry child can be quite violent, and some children may feel that physical restraint is a punishment and kick against you.
7. Older children may find that retreating to a quiet room helped. Maybe reading a book to take their mind off the situation. Or listening to a relaxation CD.
8. Listening to high-energy music may be useful. My youngest daughter used to dance vigorously to Billy Elliott’s ‘Angry Dance’.
9. Playing with a pet, especially a dog, can help as children feel their pets are accepting. But don’t suggest this strategy if your child may hurt their pet.
10. Older children may find writing a letter is useful, although it may be best not to send it if it was written in the heat of the moment. Ceremonially setting fire to it in a baking tray can be quite satisfying.
11. Teach them to explain how they feel assertively. Get them to fill in the blanks in the sentence ‘I feel….when…. because….and I want…..’
12. You can also ask your child what they find helps when they feel angry – If you give them time to think they may be able to suggest some great strategies of their own that work for them.

And finally when they are angry about a situation teach children to problem solve. Sit down and get them to write down a whole load of potential solutions to their problem. Add solutions of your own at the end and get them to choose which solution they want to try.

Elizabeth is a parenting specialist in the UK and runs a variety of parenting courses in West Sussex and London. She lives in Horsham with her husband and four children. She wants to help parents raise children with confidence, self-reliance, self-esteem and who can achieve their full potential. She teaches very practical skills to encourage cooperation, ensure good relationships between parent and child and manage challenging behaviour.

E-mail elizabeth@parent4success.com

Visit www.parent4success.com to download my free e-book ’20 top tips for parents’ 

Follow me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/Parent4SuccessCourses  
Follow me on twitter: www.twitter/parent4success 

Angry Octopus is an anger management story  available as a book, lesson plan, audio CD, and animated app.

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

By Deborah McNelis,M.S.ed, Owner/Creator of braininsights®

Studies show that the brain is not idle during daydreaming. While imagining, the brain is very active. 

I often talk and write passionately about how incredibly important it is that young children have opportunities to play. One of the reasons I promote this so strongly is because the way to develop imagination and creative thought is through unstructured play.

Creativity and imagination are high level skills in the brain. It is critical that we provide opportunities for all of our young children to develop these skills. Just think about where would we be if there were no individuals who have the ability to imagine new possibilities.

It is through repeated experiences that the brain learns and makes connections between neurons. If something is interesting and stimulating to the brain the brain will pay attention.  Frequent opportunities that provide the freedom to explore, to experiment, to test out new ideas, to manipulate and learn about a variety of objects  using all the senses, and pretending are ways strong brain connections are best created.  It is through play that children develop the  higher level brain skills. Activities like watching television or DVDs, doing paper and pencil focused on finding the right answer, or  using flash cards do not offer the possibility to develop imagination.

Offering varied activities for play and interacting with real objects, people, and nature gives the brain the ability to  to gain knowledge about how things in the world work. These types of experiences add to developing essential brain connections and contribute to the knowledge needed for the process of creativity.

A lack of stress allows children to combine previous knowledge gained with new information. Brains are then able to generate new thoughts and ideas.

Research demonstrates that the brain is actually more active during daydreaming than it is when doing a routine task. Creative ideas occur when the brain is in a relaxed state.  This is why many creative people talk about ideas coming to them in the middle of the night or while taking a shower.

It is important for many reasons to reduce stress levels for children. Persistent stress can have a long lasting and physical effect on the brain. When children are continuously living with stress, levels of the stress hormone, cortisol stays high. This impacts a child’s behavior and learning abilities.

While some stress is inevitable and also necessary, children need stress free time in their days. The brain sees both over stimulation and under stimulation as stress. Through providing fun interactive child directed activities, a child will get just what their brain needs!

The following ideas from, The Brain Development Series Activity Packets  are easy ways families can provide experiences during every day life to  advance creativity and imagination skills.

From: Help Me Thrive While I’m Five

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Provide a variety of empty containers for e to build creative structures. Examples of containers to use, empty cereal boxes, oatmeal boxes, powdered drink mix containers, etc. I may want to cover the boxes with paper and draw windows and doors on the buildings I create. I can be creating while you are getting doing the dishes or cooking dinner.

Another way we can do this: Provide milk and water bottle caps for me to create towers and designs.

Brain Fact: My brain benefits from play most when I am given the time and the opportunity to let my imagination go.

From: More to Do While I’m Two

LOTS OF ANSWERS

While waiting for an appointment or while standing in line, ask me to tell you about objects you point to. Simply point to an object and say, “Tell me about that.” Let me just tell you anything I want to say about it.

Brain Fact: Letting me answer questions with more than a yes or no response helps me use the thinking part of my brain in the early stages of its development.

From: Let’s Learn More While I’m Four

DRAMATIC PLAY

Find or save things for me to pretend with. For example: Save food containers to play grocery store; line up chairs for a train or bus; set up combs, brushes, etc. for a hair salon; put out old shoes and shoe boxes for a shoe store; books and index cards to play library; or make play money to make a bank; and so on.

Brian Fact: Play is the best way for my brain to develop. If I am pushed to learn I may have less interest in learning. Stress is not good for my brain. Fun learning will help me now and in the future.

As an Early Brain Development Specialist and owner of Brain Insights, Deborah is the award winning author of, The Brain Development Series and Naturally Developing Young Brains. She has been seen in several national publications, her brain development packets  and new App sell worldwide, and she receives rave reviews for her presentations throughout the country. Deborah is overjoyed with the response to her company, braininsights® due to her passion to create awareness of the importance of the early years. Her goal through this work is for everyone to gain an understanding of early brain development, it’s impact, and the ways we can all easily make a difference.

For more brain development information and ideas for your family to enjoy go to: www.braininsightsonline.com

Indigo Dreams contains stories designed to help your child reduce stress and increase imagination. 

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids

by Michael Lawrience

As men when stressed, we tend to run away from our feelings, push them into our unconscious, or when pushed beyond our limits blow up in a rage. Men, in general, seek the company of other men in some activity like golf or watching a football game to escape their stress and get relief.

Parents also have stress filled lives, including dads and stay-at-home dads (SAHD). Dads who work in companies or own them have the stress of work responsibilities, as well as even the well-being of employees.

SAHD have a variety of other stresses different than men and dads such as cleaning, cooking, child care, laundry and even home schooling.

One major stressor for stay-at-home dads revolves around frustration with the cleanliness of the house. Their wives feel that the home isn’t being cleaned to their standards.

I experience stress in my life as a husband and a lot of stress at work where I supervise and interact with 70 teenage girls at a Therapeutic Boarding School. At the school, I monitor and assist, doing part of some jobs such as cleaning dorms, classrooms, dining hall dish cleanup and floors, and washing vans. I am also most of all responsible for the safety of the girls at all times. This includes stopping physical or verbal violence or harm to themselves or others. Sometimes girls need to be driven to the hospital for emergency visits. At the end of a shift I am stressed out, sometimes more on some days than others.

So I can relate somewhat to stay-at-home dads even though at the end of the day I can go home.

Regardless of our type of work, everyone needs stress relief, including men. I will share some top stress relievers for men and include how they apply to stay-at-home-dads.

Stress Management Tips for Men:

1. Exercising– As men we rid ourselves of stress through exercise. It increases our heart rate and blood flow, as well as adrenaline. Pumping iron at the gym, playing basketball, golfing, hiking, jogging, and even walking, whether with other men or by ourselves all help. Regular exercise remains the key to long term stress relief and better health.

Various martial arts also provide an excellent way to release stress by kicking and punching. I felt the best ever when I practiced karate for one year.

Yoga serves as another means to relax both the mind and body. I have practiced some form of yoga since my mid 20’s with great results for staying limber and relieving stress.

Some stay-at-home dads like endurance sports like biking, jogging, or swimming. After a day of screaming kids jogging releases endorphins resulting in a feeling of euphoria. Years ago when I worked at a group home for days at a time, I chose jogging when I came home as my #1 stress reliever.

2. Hanging Out With the Guys – Team sports, like football, hockey, softball, or volleyball or even just watching sporting events assists us to escape and unwind from our stress. Being outdoors and golfing also help.

Some stay-at-home dads may want guy companionship because of their limited male interaction or they may want alone time since they have so little of it. I know a seminar leader who after spending three intense days involved with teaching groups of people just wants to go home and be alone for a while to unwind rather then more interaction with his wife and five kids.

3. Spending Time Alone– When we distress it can also be in solitude like hiking or hobbies like photography or fishing.

Most of my stress relief methods involve solitude. I unplug from doing and working all the time by sometimes playing fantasy video games for a few hours.

Some stay-at-home dads may want their wives to take the kids out at least once a week so they can sit in the sun or by a fire and read a book for even a half an hour to relax.

4. Building Relationships – As men, like women, it is important to build positive friendships. Then we have people, whether they are men or women who we can turn in times of stress because we trust and feel safe with them. I always felt happier when I had a least one close male friend that I could talk to about anything and help me deal with challenges and stress.

For stay-at-home dads it’s a greater challenge to build relationships. They have less of a support system. Their wife works. The other people they meet, mostly females, accept them less whether dropping kids off at school or other functions simply because a male caregiver tends to be less prevalent in Western society.

Stay-at-home dads, however, can receive support through online articles and forums for SAHD.

5. Learning to Nurture Ourselves – Even as men we need to learn how to nurture and re-energize ourselves just as women do, even though if may be more of a challenge. We probably would not take a hot bubble bath, yet we can find hobbies which interest, energize, and distress us. Nurturing can also come from hanging out with the guys or some solitary pursuit like reading or listening to or playing music.

Stay-at-home dads without much time can always find time for a 5 minute stress reliever, even when engaged in house chores or interaction with the children.

Breathe deeply into your abdomen and then out your nose, with your feet firmly on the floor. Breathe out twice as long as you breathe in. For example, breathe in for 4 breaths and out for 8. Do this for at least 5 minutes.

Deep breaths stretch the muscles in your chest and signal your mind for the body to relax.

Many other ways assist as stress relievers. Stress, regardless of the source, has similar remedies for men, dads, and stay-at-home dads.

I have used various stress relief methods throughout my life. Now I take a short nap before work or early afternoon to refresh. I also do yoga on a regular basis, even if it’s only for 10 or 20 minutes. When I am really fatigued in the evening I sometimes take a hot bath with Epsom salts and essence oils for 20 minutes. Last of all, when I come home totally stressed from being eight hours with 25 – 30 teenage girls involved in ongoing emotional drama and crisis, my wife, an energy healer, releases the stress from my body and energy field.

What’s your way of stress management and setting regular times for stress relief?

Check out Michael’s softcover book Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, and Pain on Amazon for an owner’s manual describing practical methods to release your physical and emotional chronic pain, suffering, and emotional stress.

This article may be reproduced with a live link back to http://www.emotionalhealthtips.com/top-5-stress-relief-tips

(Indigo Dreams: Adult Relaxation by Lori Lite can help reduce stress and anger….even for the tough guys.)

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Stress has a negative impact on your health. It depresses your immune system, interrupts your sleep, and can cause you to overeat or make poor food choices. Fortunately, there are many way to reduce stress as a family.

Tips to Reduce Stress:

• Play and laugh! – It releases the “happy” endorphins in your brain and is an effective way to reduce stress immediately.
• Breathe deeply – Take ten long, deep breaths through your nose. Notice how this makes you feel, and make it a daily practice.
• Think positively – Use your thoughts to reduce stress in your life. Train yourself to flip negative images and thoughts into a positive plan of action.
• Communicate – Establish a support group among your family and friends.
• Eat healthy foods – What you eat affects how you think. Think of your stomach as your second brain.

10 Ways to Bring More Laughter into Your Life:

• Spend time with your kids! They do and say the funniest things, and just being around them can help you reduce stress.
• Play with a pet. Pets are known to lower their owners’ blood pressure and help reduce stress.
• Make time for fun activities that create laughter, like bowling or miniature golf.
• Make it a point to laugh at your self – everyday.
• Watch a funny movie or TV show.
• Share a good joke or a funny story.
• Hang a funny poster.
• Choose a computer screensaver that makes you laugh.
• Spend time with fun, playful people who find the humor in everyday events.
• Listen to a comedian on the radio or rent a DVD and watch it on your weekly “Family Night”.

Gratefulness – The Key to Happiness

One of the most important keys to having a healthy attitude is to learn to be grateful. Here are some simple ways to incorporate a lifestyle of gratitude into your family. Always remember to set the example for the habits you want your kids to adopt.

• Say “Thank You” to everyone – even very young children.
• Be of service to others. Take the time to open the door for someone else or pick up trash when on a walk.
• Keep a journal. Remembering things to be thankful for doesn’t have to be reserved for Thanksgiving day. Make a habit of saying something you are thankful for at mealtime each night or before going to bed. A gratitude journal from their childhood years would make a great present when your children grow up!
• Teach your children financial responsibility by involving them with decisions at the store. Show them how much money you have to spend that day and let them help you pick items that are within the budget.
• Cultivate a spirit of giving back through time and/or resources. Show them examples of others who aren’t as privileged as they are and provide your family opportunities to experience the joy of giving food, clothes, money, time, etc. to others in need.
• Teach kids to see good in someone they don’t like. By always looking for the good in others, kids will learn to be grateful for the little things in life.

Simple thank you comments to all of your daily activities is the easiest way to role model appreciation that they will learn and emulate.

Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. is an series of educational workshops and professional certification trainings that was developed by world renown physician and author of over 40 books, William Sears, MD, and exercise physiologist Sean Foy, MA and is supported by Jim Sears, MD from TV’s hit show The Doctors. Each of the Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. programs focus on helping individuals develop and maintain a sustainable lifestyle of health through their Lifestyle, Exercise, Attitude and Nutrition choices. For more information visit www.drsearslean.com and follow on Twitter and Facebook.

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by Wendy Young

Physical acts of aggression such as biting, hitting and scratching are amongst the biggest concerns voiced by parents and educators of toddlers and preschoolers.  While it’s shocking and probably embarrassing when your child becomes physically aggressive, it’s not unusual behavior for young kids. When children are overcome with feelings such as anger, fear, frustration or disappointment, for example, because another child has possession of a toy they want, they don’t have the language to express it. 

But the question remains, why does a child engage in physical aggression?

To answer this question, I’ll pull from an up and coming book, “Time-In, Not Time-Out”, co-written by Ava Parnass, Dr. Lynne Kenney and me. This soon-to-be-released book tackles some of the most challenging behaviors of early childhood and helps parents and caregivers respond in ways which pull children towards greater success.

To start off, let’s look at this from two separate perspectives; biological and social.

From a Biological Perspective: To a young child, physical aggression seems like the quickest way to get her point across, “I’m frustrated, mad, or overwhelmed.”  Not yet having the verbal skills, or the cognitive ability to process all that is going on around her or inside of her and put it into words, it’s no wonder that objectionable behavior becomes one of the quickest routes the child sees to get her needs met.  A child simply lacks the verbal skills to say, “Hey, that is my toy, I am playing with it, find something else to play with.”  Almost makes you laugh a bit, because when does a child get language like that?

From a Social Perspective: A young child doesn’t yet have the maturity or skills to relax, take a deep breath and express her frustration like an older child could.  Nobody is born with these abilities.  These skills will take time and require a patient, nurturing parent or caregiver to convey and model these abilities.  This is a process and must continually be demonstrated to the child in various areas of her life. 

A Call for Help

Over and over again parents ask, “How do I punish my child out of this behavior?” The answer is, “You Don’t.” We teach children into new behaviors, we cannot punish them out of undesirable ones. Parents and caregivers need to take a deep breath and recognize that physical aggression is one way for a child to say, “I need help from you in figuring out how to do this better.”  Assume when your child bites, or engages in other acts of physical aggression, that she had no other choice available to her at the moment. She needs your support in finding better alternatives.

Wouldn’t life be easier for us big people, if we could look at every misguided behavior in this manner, every single time?  Yes, I think it would!

First Things First: Help the Injured Child

Okay, so the physical altercation has already taken place. What to do?

1. Tend to the injured child first.  Offer comfort measures.
2. Help both parties calm down.
3. Allow the child who caused physical harm to make amends.  This does not mean making them apologize.  The child can apologize if he/she chooses, but that should not be insisted upon by the adult. Most importantly, you will want to help the child heal the relationship with the child she injured by allowing her to offer to fetch an ice-pack or provide the injured child with a stuffed animal or some other “lovie”.
4. Engage both children in a soothing activity, if they are open to it.

The Final Analysis: Help the Child with Misguided Behavior

Tending to the injured child is just one part of the equation.  Your work is not yet done here.  Next, it’s time to help the child with misguided behavior learn some better ways to get her needs met in the future.

You can start by saying things such as:

• “Biting (or hitting or scratching) hurts.  Let’s find a way to tell what you need.”
• “It’s okay to be mad.  Everybody gets mad sometimes.  We can tell other people, ‘I’m mad!’”
• “When you get really angry and don’t know what to do, you can ask for help.”
• “It’s okay to say, “NO” when someone is doing something you don’t like.”
• “You can get your mad feelings out by ripping up old paper or pounding on play-dough.”

What about Consequences?

Ah, the age old dilemma.  “When you mess up, you must pay for it!”  Unfortunately, we are still often stuck in an antiquated way of looking at childhood misbehavior.  Time-out and other aversive methods are counter-productive, because they teach kids to bottle-up and repress their emotions. It punishes them for not knowing what to do. It also shows them that we have no skills or alternatives to teach them. Meeting a child’s needs and teaching her better ways to handle her feelings of upset, in the long run, supports her in learning to meet her own needs in socially proactive ways.

As adults, we are often fooled into thinking that a child’s behavior has improved because we provided them with consequences.  This is not exactly the case.  The reality is that behavior improves when one learns new skills.  Here’s to skill-building for all kids!

Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD is the mom of three kids still at home, an award-winning Child & Family Therapist and the founder of Kidlutions: Solutions for Kids, the Kidlutions Preferred Product Awards, and the Kidlutions Seal of Approval for exceptional products for kids.  She blogs at Spin-Doctor Parenting {and teaching!} and is the behavioral health expert for momtourage.com.

Children need to learn to manage stress and anger in a healthy manner to minimize the chances of biting and hitting. A family that incorporates relaxation into their lives empowers children to have healthy coping strategies. The Indigo Dreams Series addresses stress and anger management for adults, teens, and children. Available in CD or download format.

We would love to read your comments. Feel free to share this article, use it on your blog or website. Please make sure you have it linked to us! Enjoy! Stress Free Kids