Strictly Hideous

The Dawn Of A New Era

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:44:00 +0000

I've had friends and family alike asking me why I haven't been writing lately. Well, the answer to that is two-fold. I actually HAVE been writing, a lot; it's just that I've felt like I needed to go back to my roots to move forward with where I want to be. I've been back in the notebooks and off of the computer screen and have seen improvements in my creativity and differences in my thought processes. When you do things a certain way for so long, you get stuck in those ways and things become too repetitive. However, that is only the beginning.

I'm also beginning a couple of new projects. The first, has officially begun today. I'm going to be writing for, and being paid by the trufan network to write about Southern California basketball, mainly the Lakers, Clippers, UCLA and USC, albeit I'll pretty much have free range on the blog and write about whatever the hell I want to write about. I posted my first blog today, which you can read here, and will maintain the same name as this blog. Please check it out and I'll keep you updated via facebook, myspace and, when I get around to creating my account, twitter.

The second project is currently in the works right now. I'm working on creating a blog that is all about California basketball. Lakers, Clippers, Kings, Warriors, USC, UCLA, Stanford, CAL, smaller D1 colleges, and some high school coverage. I'm hoping to have that site up by the end of September. Right now I'm working on how I want the site run, recruiting writers (please let me know if you'd like to contribute to any of the afore mentioned teams or if you know anyone who would be interested), and networking with other bloggers to help get the site some readership as soon as possible. It all begins today and I'm excited. It's going to be a lot of work, time consuming and stressful considering I'm going into my last school year, will still be covering as many sporting events as possible for my school's newspaper and contributing to talkhoops.net for everything I write outside of California basketball.

I'm still debating on whether or not I want to continue my education into grad school, but It's looking like I'm going to make a pass on that, so I got to get on my grind now and pound out as many words, up as many blog posts, and have as many by lines as possible before I graduate (292 days, but who's counting).

It's the dawn of a new era ladies and gentlemen.

No Texting Days 7-9: The Countdown Officially Starts

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:08:00 +0000

I think there has to be a point in everyone’s life where you go through something so brutal that you just want to do brutal things to other things. I think, although I may be a little extreme at this point, this non-texting experiment is that point in my life. No joke, as I type this intro to days seven through nine, my phone is actually vibrating. I’m sitting in Boarders, my down the street sanctuary to get away from everything, and like a dumb ass I brought my phone with me, something I usually don’t do. It seems as if the longer I go without sending a text message, the more violent the vibrations on my phone become. This flimsy table I’m sitting at almost fell apart. The vibrations are loud and aggressive to the point to where the two older women at the table in front of me both turned around to see what the ruckus was. “It’s just this damn phone, ma’am,” I said to the women who looked like the eldest of the two. I want to throw this shit across the room and hope to hit the obese gentleman who I saw earlier in the Health & Medicine portion of the store. Every text I get, especially the hilarious ones or the ones about sports, makes me want to take a kitten and throw it against a wall, or a chain linked fence. I sound like a drama queen now. Not texting is not a good idea.

Day 7

I just woke up on the day that will complete my first whole week of not texting, and woke up to a message that has been one of the hardest not to respond to. “I just saw the episode of family guy where the dude was like ‘I bet you can’t do this’ while he was shimmying in the mirror. Hahahahahaha.” Very few people know why this was so hard to respond to. A few years back, my sister and I were flipping through channels and came across this cartoon we had never seen before. As fast as we could ask what the hell the show was, we were in tears because Tom Tucker, the news caster on Family Guy was shirtless in the mirror saying, “I bet you can do this,” before he proceeded to shimmy. My sister and I joked about that scene for years and barely found out that it was Family Guy a year ago. I can’t believe I can’t text her knowing this is the first time either of us had seen that scene since the first time we saw it. It’s killing me that I can’t respond, however, life continues.

I just got a text message from Celia that says, “Mark Nessia was having a good day… until he got on the scale. Definitely not recession proof.” Mark Nessia was my photo editor who got on our nerves on the school newspaper (Celia was the sports editor). Anything about Mark being fat or someone or something not being recession proof is going to crack me up, the simple fact that she combined both in one text message is killing me with laughter. Speaking of something not being recession proof, we’ve pretty much been calling everything recession proof lately and laughing at people who claim to not being recession proof. The NBA just announced that the salary cap for the 2010 season is going to be lower than expected. If the NBA isn’t recession proof, you’re definitely not recession proof (© Celia Kelly). Needless to say, I wanted to come back with a joke of my own, it’s what we do. But I can’t. Sad day.

Day 8

I’m starting to realize that I’m glad that I didn’t commit myself to not reading these text messages because it would be damn near impossible. To be completely honest, I haven’t not looked at a text message since July 5. I’m interested in what people have to tell me. I guess if I had less interesting friends it would be much easier to ignore text messages, but I have surrounded myself with hilarious people who send hilarious text messages; well except for Dayshell, who happened to text me today telling me to tell Davion to call her. Why in the hell would I do that? He thinks she’s just as annoying as I do, but she calls him her brother. How corny is that shit? I’m not going to have some lame ass 20-year-old girl calling me her big brother. Dumb.

“Dude pitching for the Rangers right now is fat, Mexican and has a gray goatee. His money can’t be recession proof. Shit, the Rangers money must not be either if he’s playing.” What do I do if I’m not able to respond to shit like this? I play Kanye’s “Heartless” because that’s what Celia’s become sending me things like this. I mean, I appreciate the laugh, but it’s just not fun when you can’t comment back. Having a phone with internet, an MP3 player, speaker phone, games and a camera without being able to text, I assume, would be akin to dating Eva Mendez, but she’s not giving up the booty. You get to be seen with her gorgeous ass (and touch it from time to time too), you know you’re living large because she has bank and all of your boys are jealous; but you go to sleep every night mad as hell. I don’t even want Eva Mendez anymore.

Day 9

At 6:54 a.m. I got a text message that started off with OMGOMGOMGOMG! There was no way in hell I wasn’t reading that (I have to be up at 6 a.m. every day to get to work on time, if I was sleeping in and got a text that early I’d throw a kitten at a brick wall). I just sighed, closed the message and went about the rest of my day. I think my spirit has been killed. I’m not even getting mad at getting not being able to respond anymore. If I were a POW and they were trying to get some information out of me, this is the day I would have broke and spilled all of the information. I’m not broken in the way to where I can’t take it anymore, because that would make me a bitch; I just don’t care anymore.

I thought I didn’t care until my sister sent me a text that just said, “coon.” If anyone outside of my circle sent me some shit like that, I would be forced to beat them to a pulp, but it’s hilarious coming from my sister. This text message is akin to me about to spill the beans as a POW and the guy interrogating me burning a cigarette on my forehead right before I spoke. There is no way in hell I’m helping out a dude after he burns a cigarette on my forehead just like I’m not going to be able to hold back my frustration for not being able to respond to these messages. I need to take shots back at my sister. I’m being bullied right now. I’ve officially began my countdown. Just five more days until I can respond. I’ll be back. I’ll be me again. I can’t believe I just typed those last two sentences. When did texting become “me?” Yikes. Either way, five days, Ashlyn. Five days.

Blame it on Thelonious

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:03:00 +0000

They say a dog is a man’s best friend. I have a dog and I can tell you from first hand that they are wrong. They are probably scrubs and losers with no discernable friends to begin with. They probably played with those magic cards in elementary school or own the “Lord of Rings” book and DVD series. They don’t have hilarious friends. I’ve had my dog for the better part of the last three months and can tell you that my best friends still are my best friends. Thelonious, the name of my bum ass dog, still, and will always remain, my dog.

However, my bum ass, stupid ass dog has grown on me. Before you start thinking about how fucking adorable that is, keep in mind that the phrase “has grown on me” is going to turn out to be as cute as herpes. I’ve become accustomed to him pissing me off, and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. As crazy as it sounds, being pissed off at my dog at all hours has reduced the amount of stress in my life. As I type this, my dog is sitting in the kitchen barking for no fucking reason. In moments I’ll be forced to get up from my desk (well, my $15 dollar foldable table from Target) walk over to the kitchen and calm him down.

“What the hell are you barking for?” I’ll ask as I walk into the kitchen. He’ll look up at me with his tail wagging waiting for me to untie him and let him roam free around my apartment while I write.

“You know you’re not even supposed to be here, keep barking and I’ll be forced to put you out,” I continue. “If Brittany hears you (the manager of the apartments), she’ll be pissed that you’re here, but more because I’m slick enough to sneak a dog into my place without paying the $500 deposit.”

“WOOF!” he’d bark, with that stupid ass look on his face. I’ll then pull my hand back, and he’d sit down, with his tail still wagging as he looks at me blankly.

“I don’t think there is any way you could be less intelligent. You’re presence is intellectually unsatisfying,” I’ll say, hoping he understands me, but he won’t because he’s a dog, and dogs don’t speak people. “You know I’m not recession proof, $500 would pretty much bankrupt me. This recession is your fault – you bastard.”

“WOOF! WOOF!” his dumb ass would bark, then I’d be forced to threaten to murder him with the frozen orange that’s been cooling in my freezer for about as long as Thelonious has been a roommate. Then he’d stand back up and try to jump on me, forgetting that he was tied up, then be jerked back by the leash, reminding me of how stupid he is. “WOOF!” His bum ass would continue, forcing me to smack his nose, which would invariably be followed by a whimpering “bark” and him understanding what the hell I want him to do.

“People ask why I haven’t taught you to sit yet, and I tell them it would be a waste of my damn time because you’re a dog, and dogs are stupid,” I’d say, knowing how much I verbally attack him, he’ll still love me. “I’m going to go back to my table, because I can’t afford a desk because of the recession you’ve caused, and you’re going to sit here and practice shutting the fuck up.” Then I’ll come back to my table, and finish writing this damn blog.

In a phone conversation with my sister about a week ago, she asked if I loved my dog, and I said, “no.” This is the truth, because I do not love my dog, I actually hate him, but this is not a bad thing. I need to hate my dog in the same way that my dog needs to chase birds every time I take him outside to take care of his business. I once wrote that I believed that hate fueled passion, and you needed to be passionate to love, and you needed to passion to live. Without hate, I would not be able to live. Hate, I could argue, is much more important than love. Love is not necessary to live, because it is a passion, and passions are fueled by hate.

I need my dog because he reminds me of things I love that I may have otherwise been taking for granted. Like my love for not having children, my love for a clean apartment, my love for peace and quiet and my love for inspiration. My dog serves as birth control, a cleaning mechanism, motivation to get my ass to a library or book store and the inspiration to write something like this. I know that I’m going to be able to compare my hatred for my dog to my hate for other things like the Denver Broncos, Chingy and what television has become.

As much as I would love to take him to some orchard and bust his head open with that frozen orange, I know there is no way I could because I need him around. He makes me appreciate everything I have, and that’s what’s most important in this economy that he’s created because the things we don’t have are going to remain the things we don’t have. I may have a stupid ass dog, but I have so much more than that and you do to. And if you can’t realize this, then maybe you need to go out and get yourself a stupid ass dog too.

No texting Days 4-6: Toying with my sanity

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:07:00 +0000

Breaking habits, I’ve come to realize, may be one of the toughest things to do in life. Learning to not dribble with your head down and keeping your elbow in while shooting free throws have been easy compared to not texting – and I still find my self looking at the floor when I have my mind set on getting to the basket and my elbow still flairs a tad bit to the right when I’m fatigued at the charity stripe. Logic would dictate that I have no chance at going eight more days – which seems like a lifetime considering that the first three days felt like 12 days and the second three days felt like a decade. Here are those next three days. Days 7-10 will be posted on Friday.

Day 4
At this point, not texting has become as much a part of my life as my apartment, my bike, my job and working out. Not texting has become a daily routine, and things are not different because it’s Independence Day. To this point, I’ve become obsessed with my two week quest of not texting. I’m proud of this ridiculous point I’m only trying to make to myself. I tell people that I spend my lunch breaks not texting. When people ask what I’m doing, I tell them that “I’m accomplishing a goal by being on the phone with you.” Can you blame me? Probably, because all of this is self imposed, but I don’t care.

I woke up earlier than expected today because of how late I was up the night before and forgot that the women’s Wimbledon Final was on that morning. I caught the end of the last set and wanted to text the two friends I know who watched it. Then again, I don’t. I’ve just realized that I’m more obsessed with creating temptation for myself than actually not texting. I want it to be hard just so I can say “I had all of these text messages I either wanted to send or wanted to reply to, but I didn’t.” I just love challenges, even if the competition is essentially with myself.

I just got a text message from a friend telling me that Steve McNair died. This, to me was tragic because McNair was one of those quarterbacks that come around only once in a lifetime. Dude was a Heisman candidate at Alcorn State, a HBCU! He was a consummate teammate and he’d have to be paralyzed not to play. He was a football player in its truest form. A man who went to war with his teammates, and in return for his mental and physical toughness, his teammates went to war with him. I want to text so bad right now. I have no internet and I’ve been boycotting television for a couple months now, I need details. I need to know how he died. I’m checking my phone’s internet for details.

I spent the rest of the holiday missing phone calls that, for whatever reason, never went through to my side and not texting the same people. I ended up NOT hanging out with Jessie, who had just got back in from Vegas only because I couldn’t text. Oh well. This is what I set myself up for, I suppose. It feels as if the days are only going to get harder.

Day 5
I just walked into my kitchen this morning and it’s filthy – which is funny since I just cleaned this shit two days ago! This has nothing to do with me not texting, but since I couldn’t text my disgust with anyone, you have to read about it. I lived with more women than men for the majority of my life, and now I find myself pretty much living with three other dudes who don’t clean shit. I’m not the cleanest dude in the world, but damn, we’re living like pigs in this bitch. Hold on, my mom is calling.

My mom is on her way. Again, this isn’t important to the story. I look at our disgusting kitchen and decide that it’s not worth attempting to clean. She knows I live with a bunch of dudes. I’ll just blame it on them, and the leftover alcohol in the freezer from Friday night. After a quick chat we go out to eat and I get a text from a friend. I don’t read the whole message, or even the preview. I just looked at the name knowing I could call her later since I couldn’t text her at the time anyway.

It turns out my friend’s dad was having health problems and just needed someone to talk to. I feel terrible, especially since my phone fails to receive her phone call later that night. I may have underestimated the affect this non texting is going to have on other people. In fact, I’ve had about four friends tell me that it’s been killing them knowing that I’m not going to text them back because they have questions they need answered at times that it wouldn’t be convenient for a phone call. Or they need my opinion on something. All of a sudden, I have friends, and only because they know I can’t communicate in the most convenient way possible. The irony burns, especially since I know all of these wild events are going to blow over by July 15. MJ’s death, McNair’s death, NBA free agency and much more will all be old news, and new news will be boring again. I hate my life.

Day 6
It’s about 9:45 p.m. and I’m completely rewriting this post while my dog blankly stares at me while I’m on the phone having a conversation about why I’m not talkative. Early on July 6, I had my Day 6 post pretty much finished, ready to be posted whenever I felt like on July 7. However, I got some text messages from two of my five favorite people not affectionately named Mom that forced me to change my Day 6 post.

At about 7:20 p.m. Celia sent me a text message that started out with the Phillies-Reds score (a 22-1 pummeling of the Reds). Since she has started her internship, she’s become a baseball fan, so I was interested in her insight on the first real beat down of one team over the other since she became a baseball fan. What I didn’t know was she would add “and make sure you write you read this whole text too. Bwwwaaahhhhh. LOL” and follow it up with her smiley face that says, at least to me, “I’m kidding, but I’m not kidding.” She’s sly, or cunning, like a fox, or something. That was just a slice of her non-humble pie. Very few people know me well enough to know that I would appreciate something like that, even if it was just to spite my text fast.

However, another of those people is my sister. When we were younger she used to say that I was that hot dog in those Weinersnitchel commercials. I’m not going to lie, it bothered me a little because the hot dog was so fucking lame, and a hilarious thing to call someone. Well, she sent me a text after reading my post that started out with her making fun of me riding my bicycle to work on the daily then her saying, if you don’t respond to this you’re the Weinersnitchel hot dog. 10 minutes later, after receiving no response from me, she sent me another text that said, “you just got punked” and continued saying hot dog over and over again. I have thick skin, and I only have my sister to thank, because she can be one of the cruelest people with words. After a couple decades of Ashlyn, there really isn’t anything anyone can say to me that can make me feel bad, which is why I haven’t beaten my friends asses, because they all think they’re hilarious.

Either way, it’s 11:55, well past my bed time and I’m waiting for Celia to call me back so we can finish this recession proof conversation (funniest I’ve had in weeks), and I’ve realized that I need to be careful what I wish for. I wanted this to be tough, and now my sister and Celia are playing with my sanity in the same way Karla Homolka played with little girls. It’s almost torture, because they know as well as anyone that I like to take shots back, but I can’t without my ability to text or call back while they’re working. It looks like we’ve just opened up a whole new can of worms.

-Stay Hideous

In war, truth becomes the first casualty.

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:55:00 +0000

"Do you understand that these are people who will never forget, the people who lose their father or a brother or a relative? They or their children or even their children's children. Do you want to see your son killed someday in an airplane explosion because we've made Iraq a terrorist nation from what we've done? Consider the terrorism that could be done in this nation. A guy with a bomb can just drive into the Lincoln Tunnel or walk into the Sears Tower and kill thousands. Is this what you want to see and have it affect your children or their children? "

-Phil Jackson to the '91 Bulls after he asked his team if they wanted the troops to go into Baghdad and go after Saddam Hussein as the Persian Gulf War was nearing an end.

Is there any way we can get Barack Obama to read pages 210 and 211 of The Jordan Rules? For some reason, after walking my dog yesterday evening, I was feeling a little more anti-war than usual, then I read this today. Can we please get our men and women out of the Middle East and let them live their lives over there so we can live ours peacefully over here? I want to love our president, but I'm not recession proof and I hate war -- especially when the war is unnecessary (but is it ever?). I'm going to get back to this book, but e-mail your president or something. This madness has to end. They're people, too, over there. Things would be a lot easier for all of us if we just live and let it be.

No Texting Days 1-3: Getting used to it

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:47:00 +0000

I’ve completely underestimated the amount of information one can miss out on by ignoring 140 character messages. We’ve become a nation that is built to survive on speed and convenience – which is why there are at least nine fast food restaurants every two blocks, why we need our computers to be as fast as possible, why I may get a speeding ticket on my way home from work this afternoon, why we can access the internet from our cell phones and why text messaging was invented. We’re in an age where our attention spans have been shortened to Spud Webb proportions. Our minds are always in indeterminate flux and what we think about next is about as certain as which National League team will make an end-of-the-season push to make this year’s post season – we have no idea. This is essentially why text messaging has become so important to our daily lives.

On June 30, I wrote that I would attempt to go two solid weeks without sending one text message. What I didn’t say was that I would try not to read incoming text messages, which has been indefinitely harder than not sending any myself. The following is documentation from the first six days of the experiment.

Day 1
I woke up this morning with two text messages in my inbox. One was from Celia from late that night asking if I was asleep, which I clearly was since I did not see the message until the next morning. The other was from Amber responding to a text I sent her earlier in the day on the 20th, nothing I really needed to respond to (by the way, I get previews to every incoming text message, the first 35 characters. I read the previews, and sometimes that’s the whole message, the longer messages are the ones that are hard to ignore). Things aren’t too bad so far, however, I keep taking my phone out of my pocket checking it. What is the point? Even if I do have a text message, it’s not like I can respond or even call, considering people actually have jobs these days.

Day 2
Again I woke up to a text message, this time from Travis asking me what I was up to. In case none of you knew, I’m one of those early to bed, early to rise type of dudes since I have to ride my bike to and from campus, where I work for eight hours and work our for another two. If it’s past 10 p.m. on a weekday, you can count on me being asleep.

I’m working and going through my daily rounds of the sports websites. The LA Times website just gave me my first true test, I’m reading about Ron Artest verbally committing Los Angeles to play for my Lakers and Trevor Ariza will be going to Houston. It is taking a lot out of me restraining from texting every basketball fan in my phonebook. I want to brag to non-Lakers fans and get opinions from the few friends I had who were Lakers fans. To be honest, I just want to text. It’s only halfway through the day and it feels like it’s been five days. These are going to be the longest two weeks of my life. I can’t text during the NBA free agency period, I’m as broke as I’ve been in over a year and I work at what may be the most boring job in the world.

The week just got longer. As I sat there jotting down these notes, Celia sent me a message that said, “Keyshawn Johnson is terrible.” It is taking every ounce of will in my body to not respond to this text message. Celia may be the queen of random hilarious text messages that may or may not have been intended to make me laugh, but she never fails. It hurts to not be able to respond to this knowing that I can’t call either because of her internship. Just a simple “LOL” would feel so much better than a luke-warm shower after bike-riding home in 234 degree weather. I’m dying.

Day 3
I realize why I’m doing this. I finally don’t wake up to a text message, but I do get something that looks like it could be one of those forwarded chain messages. It’s about Lady Gaga, and I’m sure the punch line to the joke is going to have to do something with poking her face. Blah blah blah. I don’t really have a problem not reading this full message because chain messages are the scum of text messages. If text messaging were like school, texts about sports would be my major, pointless conversations with my female friends would be my sociology minor and chain messages would be like taking a fucking Geology class. I almost went four solid years without having one prototypical, stereotypical boring-ass college professor, and in a the class that I cared about the least, I finally get one. God he was awful, and he made sound affects for things that shouldn’t have sound affects. I’m realizing the affect text messaging is having on me – random tangents. My geology class has nothing to do with my self-imposed sanction on text messaging, I just have nothing else to do.

I get a text message from Dayshell. I met Dayshell in high school and she used to like me back then. I never really gave her much time, and I talk to her from time to time just to give her a hard time, which I really shouldn’t do because she’s pretty much in love with me (seriously). However, she’s pretty much the antithesis to “the girl I would date.” She doesn’t really like sports (even though she pretends she does when she talks to me), she listens to terrible music and she doesn’t read. She isn’t a stupid girl, but she definitely isn’t an intellectual, which you HAVE to be if you can’t make me laugh, which she most definitely can not – and I can say all of this, because she doesn’t read, so I don’t really have to worry about her reading this, and if she does, I don’t really like her like that any way, but I digress. I mentioned her because she is the epitome of why I hated text messaging to begin with. Since joining my school’s newspaper three years ago, I’ve become somewhat of a stickler for grammar, and have a hard time reading things without point out grammatical mistakes (even re-reading my shit, which I know there will be a lot of in this post, I’m terrible at editing my own work). Anyway, she loves starting off text conversations with “wut u doin” Not one word spelled correctly and no punctuation at the end of a fucking fragment sentence. I understand shorting some words to have shorter messages, but I don’t appreciate fragments and intentionally misspelled words. It’s not hard to put a “g” at the end of doing. It’s not hard to put an “r” in there to say what ARE you doing. It’s not hard to add a fucking question mark. I don’t have a bigger pet peeve than this. Dayshell just made Day 3 much easier than it would have been if she didn’t piss me off. Thank you Dayshell.

[Considering people don’t like to sit and read the same post for longer than 20 minutes, I’ll post days 4-6 tomorrow, and you’ll have days 7-9 on July 10th.]

-Stay Hideous
Word Count: 4065

No texts for two weeks!

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:28:00 +0000

It has come to my attention that I spend way too much of my time on my cell phone. There is nothing less intrinsically satisfying than knowing that you rely way too much of your communication to others through text messaging. I used to be one of those guys who hated to text, and for some reason I feel like I do, but that’s not what the numbers are telling me.

(Note: before you read the next paragraph, please realize that A) I am fully aware that I am somewhat of a nerd, B) I work at an incredibly boring job, and C) I had nothing else to do)

For some reason, I haven’t deleted a single text message from my phone since the beginning of September. I don’t think any phone should have the power to hold the number of text messages that I’ve received in the last month, much less almost a year’s worth. In that month of September, I sent 238 text messages, an average of just about eight text messages per day. Since June 22 until Noon on June 30, I sent exactly 500 text messages, an average of 62 and a half text messages per day. 446 of those were from women, and 23 of them were from ESPN giving me updates on the Giants (since without a special package, I rarely get to see Giants games televised). 32 of those text messages were from dudes, and of those 24, six were from guys I either work with or I write for, which leaves 18 from guys who are actually my friends (and that number was only that high because the NBA Draft just happened).

Now, I don’t see any reason why I need to be sending out a quarter-ton text messages every eight days, that’s almost the pace for 2,000 per month. I realize nearly 75 percent of my friends are women (yes, I did go through the Myspace and Facebook friends lists and added all of my friends who I ether text from time to time, or who I’d hand out with on the weekends – I love numbers and I can admit it), but again, there is no reason to have over 500 text messages in a week’s time.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that, starting July 1, I will go two solid weeks without texting anyone, which means, from the time I pay my rent until the time I get paid again, I’m not sending anyone any texts. It’s going to be a hard, grueling half-month considering that my propensity to text instead of call has grown to a point I would have never thought it would reach in a million years (you know, because, I’m under the impression I can live millions of years). I’ll be documenting my struggles without my once hated, but now needed text messaging, maybe a new post every two or three days. It’s going to be epic, but hopefully I’ll come out of this with an independence that I’ve never had before. I remember the days where I could just leave my phone in my room for hours and not worry about it, now, I can’t even wear basketball shorts without pockets (because I’ll never wear a phone clip) for fear of missing a message.

From tomorrow morning until the morning of the 15th, if you need to get a hold of me, don’t text, because it won’t be responded to. I’m going to do my best to even resist the temptation to look at them. It’s about to get serious folks. Hopefully I can last (that’s what she said).

-Stay Hideous

Slaughterhuose slaughtered it

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:29:00 +0000

Slaughterhouse, a group consisting of Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Royce da 5’9’’ and Crooked I, dropped this ridiculous group freestyle over the D.O.A. beat. Everyone was enjoyable, but by the time Joell Ortiz got off the track, the track, the beat had been murdered. It was a ridiculous performance from Ortiz, I was just in my office bobbing the hell out of my head ignoring my duties until this 18+ minute track finally ended (yes, over 18 fucking minutes!) I’ve liked a lot of what I’ve heard from what they’ve put out as a group, and I LOVE their mixtape, but if they keep putting out shit like this, they’re going to become my favorite hip-hop group of all time. I can’t wait for their album to drop next month. They’re all talented lyricists with something different to offer, what is what separates them from other groups. There is either one really good artist and a few bums or everyone sounds the same, groups like this are far and few between.

If you guys have 18 minutes to spare, it is well worth it. Check it out. Below I’ve posted my favorite lines from everyone.

zSHARE - slaughterhouse-ondaspot_freestyle.mp3

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Royce da 5’9’’
I just don’t sound raw
I disconnect your shit and have you walking around with Bobby Brown Jaw
And then Whitney said ‘crack is whack’
And it offended me like, floozy, why you dissing my music?

Joe Budden
I swear to God I was placed in this decade by mistake
I don’t belong here
Dad fucked mom in the wrong year
Wrong nigga amongst fans with wrong ears
Wrong trends, with funny sounds every song sounds weird
Wrong fashion, it’s like every nigga has gone queer

Joell Ortiz
I’m in tune with what the gutta loves
I get on beats and son niggas like a mother does
They hear me and are like ‘aiyo, that brotha’s bomb’
They hear you they like ‘oh no, not another thug’
You chase bitches who don’t want a scrub
I’ve fucked project bitches on the roof with a rubber glove
We two different dudes
I be getting praised you be getting booed
I feed niggas, you just niggas food
You be getting chewed like whack grits
Every time I’m getting chewed it’s a bad bitch

Crooked I
Pistols say we in combat
I spaz out like a crazy Vietnam cat
It’s young cooked
Yeah you had a leg but my punk took it
Now you hip-hop ‘cuz you one footed

How to be deleted from my friend's list: Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:15:00 +0000

Matthew Todd I just hit you with the Sea Turtle Pillow! You have 2 days to hit back, or you lose!
Matthew started a Pillow Fight with you.

Matthew has started a Pillow Fight with you! You can give up... or you can accept the challenge, pick your pillow and hit back! Let's see who wins!

4 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · » Hit Back «

----------------------

The above is not a joke. I really did have a friend on Facebook named Matthew Todd. And yes, this fucker really really tried to start a pillow fight with me via Facebook.

At first glance, I didn't really notice it, I just thought he posted some shit about sea turtles, but the second time I saw it, I was like, "What the fuck?!?"

I can't imagine me ever wanting to engage in a pillow fight, let alone with some dude who I really never talked to in high school. I mean, I knew who he was, so I accepted his friend request, but had I known he was going to be electronically pelting me with sea turtle pillows, I would have never added him to begin with.

I can't think of anything gayer than starting an electronic pillow fight. Actual gay people are less gay than electronic pillow fights. I don't think I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to start an electronic pillow fight with a girl, so there is no way in hell I'm going to tolerate some dude starting one with me. I mean, why would you even consider that shit? Why? I am at a loss for words.

Who Was Luckier? Us or Shaq?

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:18:00 +0000

[Note: This article originally appears on Talkhoops.net

You may have already read 7,635,425 blogs and articles answering the pressing question of: Will the Shaq for Cracker Jacks trade work for the Cavaliers. The short answer: No. And that's all you're getting out of me on that one. I'm here to answer a more interesting question: Is Shaq the luckiest big man of all time - or are we the lucky ones?

With Shaq moving to Cleveland, he is paired up with Lebron James, the fifth time the Big Something or Other (© Celia Kelly) has been paired up with a great parameter player. It started in Orlando with Penny Hardaway, he moved to Los Angeles to play with Kobe Bryant, moved back to Florida to play with Dwyane Wade, shifted his weight to Arizona and played with Steve Nash and is now with one of the most freakish athletes we've ever seen? Again, I ask, who has been luckier, Shaq or us?

Off top, it seems like this answer would undeniably be Shaq. However, we've got to see the greatest center of this era, and one of the most candid athletes of all time, play with some of the most exciting basketball players of the last decade, and we're just months away from seeing him team up with the most exciting in the game now.

Has a center ever been more blessed to play with more future Hall of Famers than Shaq? Kareem got to play with Oscar Robertson and Magic Johnson. Wilt played with Elgin Baylor and Jerry West. Russell played with Bob Cousy. Olajuwon played with Clyde Drexler, but that was at the end of his career. The most exciting perimeter player Robinson played with was Rod Strickland, and had Ginobili as a rookie as he was leaving the league. Ewing had John Starks, Xavier McDaniel and Larry Johnson. None of those lists jump out at you like Penny, Kobe, Wade, Nash and Lebron - no second name needed for any of them.

[Click here to check out the rest of this article at Talkhoops.net]

-Stay Hideous
Word Count: 2,051

A box of chips!

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:57:00 +0000

I have to thank Ed The Sports Fan for sharing this link with his friends via Facebook.

The first paragraph gave me the giggles:

"OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — A woman has been fined $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution charges after she was accused of accepting a box of chips for sex."

If nothing says the economy is bad it is definitely a prostitute accepting a $30 box of chips for sex.

Oklahoma: Where new prostitution lows happen.

-Stay Hideous

The Clipse featuring Kanye West - Kinda Like a Big Deal Video

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 16:21:00 +0000

This is the first single from The Clipse's new album "'Til The Casket Drops" featuring Kanye West. I love the song, I love the production, and it's the best Kanye verse I've heard in a year. I'm glad to see The Clipse back and I can't wait to hear the new album.

-Stay Hideous

I have a lot of writing to do

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:34:00 +0000

I have a lot of writing to do.

A lot of writing is neither an understatement or an overstatement, it’s just the truth. I have to average 1,177 words over the next 85 days to reach 100,000 words before the fall quarter of my last year as an undergrad at California State University, Bakersfield begins. To some, 100,000 words may seem like a lot, but for me it is a goal that I’ve tried to reach once, and failed miserably due to my laziness.

If you followed me last summer, you would know that I’ve tried to get to 100k and fell just over 36,000 words short. Again, for some, that may seem like a lot, but it isn’t in the scope of things. I wrote well over 60 percent of the words that I wanted to write while going well over 40 days of not writing. Let’s say that all of my posts from last summer were in consecutive days, that would have set my pace for 1,217.25 words per day (yes, I sat down and did the math). Considering that I left 48 days on the table and the fact that I was writing over 1,200 words per day, I know I would have written well over 121k for the summer (121,725 to be exact). Knowing this makes it much easier for me to sit down and confidently say that my goal of 100,000 words for this summer is definitely within reach.

Why 100,000 words? Well, the answer is two-fold. The first is because I tried to do it last year and I failed. I need to redeem my self. The second is because I need to write more. I spent last summer trying to write as much as possible just to get in the habit of writing all the time. This year I have a purpose. I need to become a better writer technically. I’ll be printing and editing all of my posts before you see them. I need to realize what mistakes I’m making, figure out why I keep making them, and then figure out how to stop making these mistakes. There will always be jobs for people who can write. I just need to become a better writer than the next guy and I can’t get better unless I write as much as possible.

Last summer I was very sporadic with my posts. I was writing about everything, which really is not going to do me any good this summer. This summer I’ll be focused on three things: Sports, Music and Samuel L. Jackson movies. From time to time I’ll post something completely random or some thoughts on current event x or book or movie y, but for the most part, this summer will be sports, music and Samuel L. Jackson movies.

With that, I have some research and a lot of writing to do.

-Stay Hideous

Word Count: 480

Hmm... That's funny -- I didn't know that was something to complain about

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:45:00 +0000

I’ve pretty much categorized everything I hate into four categories: foods, sports teams, people who I can’t stand for some reasons I don’t need to get into and people who complain about shit they don’t need to complain about.

I’ve been living in Bakersfield and the amount of complaining about shit that they don’t need to be complaining about has been unprecedented. I mean, it’s shit that I’d be happy to have in my life. You know, things like the ability to stay with their parents and not pay rent in college? What the fuck do you have to complain about? You have two fucking parents willing to help you out, help you save up money while you’re in college getting educated free of charge. Not only that, but you get to go home to home-cooked meals. That shit is a fucking luxury in college. Get over yourself if you can’t appreciate that shit.

On top of all of that, about 90 percent of the people complaining about having to live with their parents have both of their parents at home. In 2009, having both of your parents by the time you’re college aged is a fucking commodity you better be happy you have. I’d give almost anything to be able to have both of my parents around – together. Fuck you and don’t complain to me about shit if you’re not paying for shit outside of a fucking phone bill and get to go home to both of your damn parents after you get out of class. That shit is fucking absurd.

I can’t fathom why anyone would ever not want to be home just because their parents weren’t there. I know not everyone is going to have a great relationship with their parents, but you don’t ever know how long you’re going to have the ability to physically see your parents. Hell, I know people who don’t even have parents.

Oh, and one more thing, I know the economy is really fucked up, but get the hell over it. As far as I’m concerned, the economy has been fucked up for the last 22 years. My family has never really had shit, but I feel like I’ve lived a pretty amazing life thus far. If you can’t go on that cruise to Mexico or you can’t get that new Scion that you’ve been wanting “since forever,” get the fuck over it and get some funny friends. I promise you’ll get over it.

I just wish people learned how to appreciate shit. I know I have little to nothing by American standards, but I feel like, in world so consumed with commercialism that I have a lot. I just think, if I really don’t have anything to complain about (which I do considering the complaints I hear), than you don’t have anything to complain about. Suck it up or leave me alone. I’m just not listening to that bullshit anymore.

Finding the ultimate Samuel Jackson Experience [pt. 1]

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:49:00 +0000

Samuel L. Jackson is an icon; this much we know. Throughout his career he has given us myriad amazing performances that have left us shocked, confused and dying of laughter. Because Jackson’s iconography is universal among movie-goers, I’ve decided to go on a conjectural quest to find the movie that gave us the quintessential Sam Jackson performance. I’ve broken things down into four categories:

1. Hair style (included facial hair)
2. Memorable lines
3. Unusual circumstances (will vary significantly from movie to movie)
4. Overall quality of film

The hairstyle, memorable line and unusual circumstances categories will be out of 30 points and the overall quality of film section will be out of 10 points making it 100 possible points for each movie. As I watch the movies, I’ll write short reviews and the movie with the highest score will be deemed the ultimate Sam Jackson experience.

I’ve watched five SLJ movies in the past two weeks and I’ll be doing these reviews two at a time. Being reviewed today: Lake View Terrace and Jumper.

Lake View Terrace:
When I first saw the previews for this movie I have to say that I was extremely excited to see it because it had the potential to be one of the funniest movies of all time, and I have to say that I was pretty disappointed with the outcome. The movie is about an interracial couple who move in next door to a cop (Sam Jackson) who doesn’t appreciate their relationship because his wife died while with a white man while she should have been at work. The couple struggles to live a peaceful life with the cop interfering with their everyday life activities.

Hair Style: 10 pts
In this movie Sam Jackson is bald. I think he has a mustache, I don’t really feel like looking it up. I originally gave this only seven points, but looking back, he’s a weird looking bald-headed dude and that adds to the unintentional comedy.

Memorable lines: 18 pts
This would have been a lot higher if I actually remembered what he said verbatim or if I remembered why he said it, but he did say something along the lines of, “You better tell that talkative bitch to shut-up!” Of course, this line had me dying, but days later, I can’t really remember the exact words, so it can’t be scored too high.

Unusual circumstances: 26 pts
There was one specific scene where Jackson catches his daughter in the new neighbors’ backyard dancing and having a good time. This leads to him unbuttoning his police uniform, pulling down his pants and dancing in his boxers. After his daughter goes of on her “you’re embarrassing and stay out of my life” spiel, Jackson cocks back and slaps the fuck out of her. I wish I had more hands so I could have gave that scene four thumbs up. Absolutely hilarious.

Overall quality of film: 6 pts
I was able to follow the film without getting too bored, but I expected much more from a film with Sam Jackson and this premise. It wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t too good either. Average films get average scores.

Overall score: 60 pts
The score was definitely hurt by Jackson being bald. Bad move for those directors in the future who ending up casting Jackson in a major role.

Jumper
Jumper is something that I originally had no interest in because the premise seemed incredibly ridiculous. The trailor had a tone that I felt could only be appreciated by guys who played that Magic card game in middle school (so embarrassing). The idea is there are people in the world who have the ability to transport anywhere in the world at any time and there are people who will do anything in their power to stop these “jumpers.” Incredibly corny to say the least.

Hair Style: 26 pts
This is about the only thing that the movie got right, Sam Jackson has a short cut dyed silver a la a mid-90s Sisqo. What would possess anyone to dye their hair silver – or require Sam Jackson to do so. I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s hilarious. To be honest, this may have been the only reason I decided to watch the movie – the only reason.

Memorable lines: 1 pt
The only line I can remember him saying is, “Only God should have the ability to be all places at all times!” I would have given this a zero if he didn’t yell that line.

Unusual Circumstances: 0 pts
Granted, this movie was unusual to say the least, but there was no point in this movie where Jackson did something that wasn’t expected nor did he do anything that was unusual within the underlining pretext of the film.

Overall quality of film: 3 pts
The movie was just interesting enough for me to have the ability to sit through it. I thought about giving it a four, but that would have made the over all score a 31, and well, Reggie Miller has annoyed the hell out of me these past couple of years.

Overall Score: 30 pts
This score was hurt by the movie being border-line awful in all aspects. Jackson’s role is just want you don’t want from him. We need more yelling, we need more hilarious lines and we need the unexpected to happen… however, this wasn’t even close to the worst Sam Jackson movie I’ve seen in the past two weeks.

Up Next: Soul Men and Amos and Andrew

The Legend of Jeff Trepagnier [Pt. 1]

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:07:00 +0000

(Note to all readers. The accuracy of this story is not 100 percent because, well, I was intoxicated when it happened.)

It's not every night you drink and know you're going to have to write about that night at some point down the line (unless, of course you're me - and every night means every weekend for three weekends straight). I've had a few run-ins with a man a normal 22-year-old college student wouldn't recognize, but as an avid basketball watcher and a die-hard USC fan I'm bound to notice guys like Jeff Trepagnier.

As you may or may not know, Mr. Trepagnier played his collegiate years at the University of Southern California and won the collegiate dunk contest in 2001 by sticking his arm in the rim a la Vince Carter circa 2000 (although VC stole the dunk from Kobe Bryant, who was the first to do it in 1998, look it up, I'm sure it's on youtube somewhere, but I digress). Trepagnier was drafted by Cleveland and also played for the Denver Nuggets and played a couple seasons overseas before he ended up in Bakersfield playing for the Jam, the city's D-League team - which is why I now run into him every other weekend.

The first meeting was the first week of January, my last weekend before I started my winter quarter at California State University, Bakersfield. I was out with my friend Davion, who happened to have just broke up with his girlfriend of two years just a couple months before - so you can only imagine how much we went out during my Winter Break.

We showed up to Azulz's, a bar in Downtown Bakersfield (yes, I'm still embarrassed that I go out in Bakersfield, the sooner I graduate the better) and were greeted with a line we normally wouldn't have waited for, but Azulz's is free, which only makes seeing Trepagnier there even funnier. At that time both of us were broke (I'm not going to lie), so we were buying cheap alcohol before hand and drinking just enough to be able to say anything at any given time - a hilarious way to do things, but I wouldn't suggest it if you aren't capable of talking your way out of bad situations.

We were standing at the end of the line laughing at all of the girls who were overdressed for the third trashiest bar in town and all of the dudes trying to get at them when Davion spotted a guy at the front of the line, turned and asked, "Is that Jeff Trepagnier?"

[To read the rest of the post, click here to go to talkhoops.net. Thanks!]

22 and learning

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 03:32:00 +0000

I guess that means I’m a pimp on par
Till I’m six feet under like it’s three niggas in that Flinstones’ car
-Lupe Fiasco

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you (left you) without a dope blog to step to… maybe?

Well, it’s been well over a month since my last post and it was recently brought to my attention by one of the few people in my life who actually matter.

She asked why I hadn’t written in a while and I told her because no one reads it. She said that she does, and well, I guess that’s all that matters, right?

I’ve written before that it’s depressing and pointless being a writer with no readers, and well, nothing has changed since then. I still write, and I still want people to read, but it’s to the point where I’m not writing because no one is reading. How do you remedy this?

I feel there is only two ways to remedy the problem. Either you just stop writing altogether so you theoretically don’t have to worry about people not reading your stuff or you can continue writing until you earn your readership. The former is definitely easier than the latter because you don’t have to motivate yourself to not do something. Being lazy is natural, it comes easy to all of us. It takes a lot to put your work out and see it go unacknowledged day in and day out, but I guess that’s what comes with the territory of being in love with a medium that requires people to concentrate on something that isn’t really moving.

The thing is, if I had worked at my craft like I promised myself I would (apparently men don’t only forget promises they make to other people, but they forget the promises they make to themselves) than I would be creating images that move. That’s what, in my humble opinion, good writing does. It gives the illusion of a moving image. When I read guys like Chuck Klosterman or Bill Simmons I can see what they’re writing about, which is why they’re so well read. It may have taken me 22 years to figure this out, but I think I know what I need to be doing.

In this last month and a half I’ve written two or three articles for talkhoops.net, none of which were read by any of the three people I’m closest to outside of my immediate family. What I’ve learned is that when it comes to being supported as I continue my quest in making writing my profession, I really can’t count on anyone, not even my closest friends. I’m okay with this. I really am. I can’t force people who don’t like to read to read, and I can’t force people who do like to read to read what I write. I’m not their conjectural cup of tea (or bottle of Gatorade).

I’ve learned a few other things since the beginning of the new year:

1. 98 percent of all women I MEET (note that I’m stressing the women I meet) are stupid. So is looking for love. People in bad relationships are in that situation because they were looking for love instead of happiness. Look for someone who is going to make you happy and love will come later. I guarantee it.

2. I’m way too nice of a person. When it’s a shock when I raise my voice at someone (because in reality, I just don’t yell at people) – even after they’ve already raised their voice at me, it means you’re too nice and you need to start cussing more people out.

3. I can’t associate myself with anyone who can’t respect the fact that I love basketball more than life itself. It’s who I am, it’s what I love and it’s not changing.

4. I also can’t associate myself with people who aren’t passionate about anything. While thinking about my favorite people, most of whom I see on a daily basis, I realized that all of them are passionate about something. Of all of the people who I can’t stand, I can’t think of anything they’re passionate about. Go figure.

5. If I’m not writing, I’m not doing anything. I might as well start writing more.

No love for Timmy?

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 20:46:00 +0000

These last thre weeks we’ve had a lot of questions answered about who are the elite of the league and what teams will be in the running for the Blake Griffin sweepstakes. However, some questions have been left unanswered – until now.

Why doesn’t Tim Duncan get any love from the fans?
In my last MVP rankings I had Tim Duncan ranked sixth amongst his peers as far as MVP consideration went at the time and I got some feedback from readers saying that Duncan was either too high on the list or should have been taken off completely. As a Lakers fan who has watched Mr. Duncan destroy my favorite team on more occasions than I can count on my two hands, I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t get any love from basketball fans around the country considering the Spurs record and the number of games both Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili have missed due to injury this season. After starting 2-5, the Spurs have won 11 of 14 games.

With both Parker and Ginobili out, Duncan has had to start along side the likes of Michael Finley’s old ass, Fabricio Oberto, Roger Mason Jr. and the rookie George Hill. This starting lineup falls short of impressive, but guys like Mason and Finley have stepped up huge and Hill has been even better than advertised (which I guess was expected because the Spurs always draft well). What’s been the most impressive is the way Duncan was still able to play his game despite not having Parker or Ginobili on the floor to take double teams away from him. Now, with Hill getting valuable minutes in Ginobili and Parker’s absence and the great play from Mason Jr., the Spurs look as poised as ever to be contenders in the West, especially if Parker goes back to playing like an MVP candidate like he was before he was injured. If anything, I probably should have had Duncan ranked higher a couple of weeks ago.

Are the Cleveland Cavaliers really that good?
LeBron and co. just saw an impressive 11-game winning streak come to and end and it has many people wondering if the Cavs are really as good as their record is showing. The answer is two-fold bearing in mind who they’ve played during their win streak and the two teams they lost to before the streak started. The first game of the streak was an 110-96 drubbing of the Atlanta Hawks at home – and outside of their 114-94 win over Toronto – that Atlanta game was their toughest game since their loss in Detroit. Before the loss to Detroit the Cavs rattled off eight straight wins with their only tough road game being played in Dallas and their toughest home game featured a Deron Williams-less Utah Jazz team.

With that being said, I still think that the Cavs are the third – maybe even the second best team in the league right now because they’re winning on the defensive end of the floor. During their 11-game winning streak they only allowed one 100-point game, and that was in New York against a Mike D’Antoni team. Even with Zydrunas Ilgauskas on the floor, the Cavaliers have one of the quickest defenses in the league. Mike Brown has done an amazing job of getting this team committed to the defensive end of the floor, and it’s all started with LeBron James. Of course we’re going to see some ridiculous dunk from James on almost every night, but what’s been most impressive is the fact that almost all of his highlights on Sports Center’s Top 10 plays have been off of a steal – and at least twice a week one of his Top 10 plays has been a block preventing a fast break lay-up or him coming help side to make up for Daniel Gibson or Mo Williams being beat off the dribble. There are little-to-no easy buckets against this Cavs team. Sure, people are going to point at their cupcake schedule, but the good teams are supposed to blow out the bad teams, right?

What has been the biggest surprise this season thus far?
At this point, there hasn’t been one huge surprise, but there have been a few players and teams who have stood out and are as follows:

-Devin Harris has been playing out of his mind. Before this season he had never scored 30 points in a game, and now he’s the second best player on my fantasy team (not necessary, but this is probably my favorite 9th round draft pick of all time). He’s worked himself into the conversation of the league’s top seven or eight point guards right now. He has single handedly won at least three to four games for the Nets already. I get just as excited to watch Harris play as I do when a Hornets or a Jazz game comes on.

-Speaking of point guards who are trying to make a claim for a spot on that top 10 point guard list, Rajon Rondo has been simply amazing for the Celtics this season. He’s become fearless and it’s been a lot of fun to watch (and also brutal because the Celtics are a great basketball team while he’s on the floor and just a really good basketball team when he’s sitting). This is slowly – and I stress slowly – becoming his team. Rondo has learned to dictate tempo, he’s been throwing passes that he wouldn’t have even thought about throwing when he got into the league and he’s become a great on-ball defender. He’s a huge reason why the Celtics are on an 13-game winning streak and have the best record in the league.

-There have been an unprecedented amount of coaches fired before Christmas this season. The firing of the King’s Reggie Theus on December 15th marked the sixth coach to be fired before the holidays. What’s stood out to me the most is the fact that Theus was the third light skinned coach to be fired. Half of the coaches fired, a tenth of the coaches in the league or 75 percent of the light skinned coaches in the league are gone. I know this won’t matter to a lot of talkhoops.net’s readers, but it matters to us childish African-Americans who still think it’s funny that light skinned and dark skinned black people are constantly in competition. Now we’re stuck with Doc Rivers. I mean, he’s not terrible and he is the head coach of the defending champions, but I hate the Celtics and that’s just not good enough for me. I mean, I guess I can understand the firing of Mo Cheeks (not really, just more than the others), but as talkhoops.net editor asked: Why fire Eddie Jordan or Reggie Theus. Both of their teams have been plagued by injuries to key players, something you just can’t make up for as a coach in this league. I say conspiracy (I’m watching you Michael Jordan), others say changes just needed to be made (still got my eyes on you, Mike). Whatever it was, it’s not a good look for the league. We need our light skinned coaches.

-Fans across the country have to love the Sergio Rodriguez – Rudy Fernandez backcourt combination. Has there ever been a better, more exciting or more hilarious backup backcourt combination? The Brian Shaw – Isaiah Rider backup backcourt might have been funnier the Manu Ginobili – Ime Udoka backup backcourt might have been better but it would be hard to come up with any other backup backcourt combination that is as fun to watch as the Rodriguez-Fernandez backcourt. I may be one of the biggest Brandon Roy fans in the world, but I wouldn’t even be mad if I came in late to a Blazers game and caught the end of the first quarter to see the Rodriguez-Fernandez backcourt. When the Blazers play Rodriguez, Fernandez and Roy at the same time, it’s like heaven on television.

-The number of likeable players who aren’t “stars” has been ridiculous. My friend Davion and I meet up at this pizza place called Poppa O’s (also know as The Fourth Headquarters) at least once a week to catch one of the three double headers either on ESPN or TNT. Lately, we’ve been having mock drafts for our hypothetical teams that we’ll probably eventually end up making on NBA 2K9 (only because his bum ass didn’t buy NBA Live ’09), but the guys we’ve been drafting will probably never be on an all star team. We’re not picking up guys like Kobe Bryant, LeBron James or Dwyane Wade, we’re drafting guys like Sergio Rodriguez, Paul Millsap, Acie Law, Juan Dixon and Jose Juan Barea. I’ve fallen in love with the non-stars again this season for the first time since the mid to late ‘90s and I love it. Pumping up guys like Aaron Brooks, Andre Blatche, Ronny Turiaf and Spencer Hawes has been one of the best parts of this season. It’s great that there are some good non-stars to watch, but it’s also hilarious. When you can give a guy like Juan Dixon a nickname like “The Eddie House Stopper,” it’s a good basketball season.

1. L. James (1) (22-4) 27.5ppg 6.8rpg 6.3apg 50.3fg%
I really can’t imagine how this man could be stopped if he had just three fourths of the mid-range game and post up game Kobe Bryant has (or had last season… maybe?). He’s a monster in the open floor, he’s always looking for his teammates and his jump-shot is gradually improving (not at a rate we all expected from him, but he’s getting there). I think what has summed up this season for James at this point is the fact that on some nights, when he’s on Sports Center’s Top 10 plays, they have LeBron James packages. Some night’s there isn’t just one play – or two plays, but myriad plays that need to be seen numerous times. If not for anything else, he’s the MVP right now just because he has to be packaged on Sports Center’s Top 10. I can’t think of any other player in any other sport who has been packaged this many times before the half way point of his or her respective season. Right now he’s Jordan in the 86-87 season, Tom Brady in 2007, Roger Federer, Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant in 2006. He’s in a league of his own right now.

2. C. Paul (4) (15-7) 19.7ppg 5.4rpg 11.9apg 2.8spg
I tried to think of one bad thing to say about Chris Paul’s game and the only thing I could come up with is the fact that sometimes, he’s too good for his teammates. Of Paul’s 2.95 turnovers per game, I think you can attribute one per game for him making a play for a teammate who probably didn’t even think that play was even possible to be made. He sees the floor better than any point guard since John Stockton and probably has the best defensive instincts of any point guard ever. His streak of 106 consecutive games with a steal is unheard of. This seems like one of those streaks that could be up there with Cal Ripkin’s 2,632 consecutive starts, Joe Dimaggio’s 56 straight games with a hit and Byron Nelson’s 11 straight PGA Tour wins. This is going to be one of the most untouchable streaks in sports.

3. K. Bryant (2) (21-4) 25.2ppg 5.3rpg 4.3apg 1.5spg
A lot of people are already giving Bryant the washed up tag – something that I can’t understand at this point in his career. As far as I’m concerned, he’s still the best basketball player in the NBA. Sure, LeBron James get’s to the rim better, Chris Paul gets teammates involved and Dwyane Wade is noticeably quicker than Bryant, but no one else in the league possesses the skill set that Bryant has. His mid-range game is still among the league’s elite, he can still post up the majority of the guys who are stuck guarding him one-on-one and he uses angles to take advantage of defenders better than anyone in the league, maybe better than anyone who’s ever played the game. Just because his numbers are down it doesn’t mean his game is down as a basketball player. Sure, 25 points per isn’t 28, 31 or 35, but dropping 25 every night is no easy feat. Neither is leading your team to a 21-4 record.

4. D. Wade (5) (13-12) 28.3ppg 5.1rpg 7.0apg 2.2spg
More than anyone else on this list, Dwyane Wade needs to play well for his team to succeed. During the Heat’s game against the Lakers, ESPN showed a statistic that showed just how much Wade means to the Heat’s success. During a recent three game losing streak, Wade averaged just over 17 points per game. However, during the four game winning streak prior to the losing streak, he averaged just over 34 points per game. If we’re giving the award to the most valuable player and nothing else, Wade definitely has a claim for the award because the Heat will suffer more without Wade than any team who removes a potential MVP candidate. More than anything, I just can’t stress enough how glad I am to see him back and healthy.

5. D. Howard (3) (20-6) 20.8ppg 14.1rpg 3.8bpg 56.9fg%
If he’s done nothing else for the Magic, he’s helped them become a very good defensive team. If there’s anything you want to have when building a defensive minded basketball team is a solid big man who rebounds well and alters shots. Howard has done all of that and more for the Magic to help them to their 20-6 record. It’s much easier to play tight on the parameter when you know you have the league’s leading shot-blocker behind you. With more contested shots, means more missed shots for the opposing teams, and when you have the league’s leading rebounder, you have less demoralizing defensive possessions where offensive rebounds are given up despite a great defensive effort. Because of Howard, the rest of this Magic team has become much more confident on the defensive end, and that’s where the elite teams are winning their games this season. The Magic are third in the league in defensive efficiency, numbers one, two and four are the Celtics, Cavaliers and the Lakers respectively. If Howard stays healthy, the Magic will remain one of the league’s elite teams.

6. T. Duncan (6)
That’s right, Timmy is still sixth on my list of MVPs, but it’s going to be hard for him to climb the list is the Spurs can’t beat some of the league’s better teams. Big losses to Orlando and New Orleans isn’t going to help much.

7. C. Billups (9)
Chauncey Billups has completely changed the culture of the Nuggets. They’ve moved from a team that might have been fighting for an eighth seed to a team that could be playing for a third or fourth seed. It’s amazing what a quality point guard can do for a team.

8. P. Pierce (7)
The only reason Pierce has moved down is the fact that he’s not as valuable to his team as the other MVP candidates are. In fact, Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen (barf) and Rajon Rondo are all pretty much interchangeable here. I just put Pierce because he’s “better than Kobe.”

9. B. Roy (NR)
On December 18th, Brandon Roy scored 52 points, six assists, five rebounds and had no turnovers. Want more? During the Blazers last five games, Roy has been averaging 36.4 points, five assists, 5.6 rebounds and 1.4 blocks per game. He deserves to be here.

10. D. Nowitzki (NR)
The Mavericks are playing well and Dirk may be playing the best basketball of his career. His 26.4 points per game and 9.3 rebounds per game are better numbers than what he put up in 2006, the year he won the MVP.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know. I'll be addressing all arguments in the next edition of my MVP rankings.

Top 10 MVP Candidates Week 1: Giving Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:01:00 +0000

Lebron is off to a quick start. But remember, he was off to a fast start last season and didn't bring home any hardware to show for it.

Weekly MVP Rankings 1st Edition

Were a little over a month into the season and just days removed from Thanksgiving – and it seems like everyone is already done giving thanks. Why stop when there is so much to be thankful for?

I give thanks everyday for family and friends, the opportunity to continue my education and the fact that I’m not an Oklahoma City Thunder fan (or a Detroit Lions fan, yikes!). I’m definitely giving thanks to the wonderful job that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers have done and to LeBron James (yes, Lebron James) for his endless highlights this season.

I continue to give thanks to the Portland Trailblazers for the few times that I’ve gotten to see Rudy Fernandez and Sergio Rodriguez on the floor together. Is there a more exciting Spaniard in sports outside of Rafael Nadal? Absolutely not, and that is why I give thanks.

I give thanks to Michael Curry for holding a practice on Thanksgiving morning, supplying the basketball world with another shipment of what already seemed like an endless supply of Allen Iverson “practice” jokes. Not a game, not a game, not a game. We’re talking about Thanksgiving practice.

I have to give thanks to guys like Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Jason Kidd, Steve Nash, Baron Davis, Jose Calderon, Devin Harris, Derrick Rose, Chauncey Billups and Ramon Sessons (!) for giving us one of the deepest collections of pure point guards since the mid 90s. It’s been amazing watching all of these guys, especially Rose, who has been as good as any rookie point guard I’ve seen in a while, during the course of this first month of NBA basketball.

I’m definitely still giving thanks for signing up for Khlid El Amin’s mailing list so I can get coupons to the El Amin Fish House out in Minnesota. I swear, when I get the time I’m going to get out of California and get to that fish house so I can get the Special #7 – 50 catfish steaks for $64.99. You just can’t beat that.

I give thanks for my seven-month old nephew who cried when Celtics highlights were being shown on Sports Center and when a Boys II Men song was played. Not that I have anything against Boys II Men, I just think it’s hilarious that he has something against them – but best believe that I can’t stand the Celtics.

I give thanks for Dwyane Wade’s return as one of the leagues elite, for Dwight Howard being a man and for Tracy McGrady exclaiming, “Welcome to Houston, BABY!” in one of those Addidas Brother hood commercials, it gets me every time.

(Side note: McGrady and Tim Duncan pick teams between the kids for what I’m assuming is going to be a pick up game and T-Mac says, “My team’s going to win and if you’re not on my team you’re going to wish you’re on my team.” Every time I watch that commercial I think, “there’s no way a McGrady led team is going to beat a Timmy led team.” I’m right, right. I mean, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but McGrady is looking ridiculously old. He isn’t the guy he was three years ago. Injuries have ruined his career, and I wouldn’t be surprised, even with Ron Artest and a healthy Yao Ming, if the Rockets still couldn’t make it out of the first round of the playoffs. His window is closing very fast, and could be closed by the time his contract expires after the 2010 season. There will be a lot of stars on the market that off season, and so will McGrady. By 2010, he will not be a superstar anymore. In fact, I feel like I can argue that he isn’t a superstar now, but I digress).

Last but not least, I give thanks just because I have basketball. I don’t have a lot of things in life that I’d like to have, but I have what I want right now, and it’s basketball. I could fail my History final (which I might have done), I might not remember the last time I got a full night’s worth of sleep and my relationships with some friends may have faltered during the course of this last year, yet, none of that matters, at least not right now because it’s basketball season (and the new Kanye West album just dropped). I’m definitely thankful for that.

Without further ado, here are your 2009 MVP candidates after one month:

1. Lebron James (12-3) 27.9ppg 7.2rpg 6.3apg
Just because I gave thanks to James and have him at the top of this list don’t get the idea that I’m becoming a fan of his. His jump shot is still abysmal (24.6 3P%) and I’m still waiting for him to completely take over the league by developing a post game. However, James has been great this season. The Cavaliers have the second best record in the Eastern Conference and have the third best record in the league – and that credit is not going to Mo Williams. James has been nothing short of spectacular this season and has the funniest shoe commercial out right now.

2. Kobe Bryant (12-1) 23.7ppg 5.0rpg 1.77spg
Kobe definitely isn’t second in the MVP voting because of his statistics. For almost anyone else in the league these would be great numbers, but this is a down season for Bryant, but you can’t argue with the results, a 12-1 record. The Lakers only loss this season came on the only night Bryant took over 30 shots, this is something you might want to monitor. Another thing you should definitely monitor is the number of unnecessary no-look passes (UNLPs) Bryant throws. My friend Davion pointed this out to me a few weeks ago and now I can’t watch a Lakers game without keeping track of his UNLPs. There have been countless times this season when it was strikingly obvious who Kobe was throwing his pass to, yet, he still looked the other way – but the worst part is he always looks the other way after the pass. Can we please get Kobe to stop trying to look cool can continue to play as one of the most fundamentally sound guards of all time? Thanks.

3. Dwight Howard (12-4) 21.2ppg 13.5rpg 3.9bpg
Dwight Howard has six games with at least 20 points and 15 rebounds – and I’m disappointed in this. Howard is A MAN (!), I don’t see why he couldn’t have 20 and 15 at the very least every other night. Outside of his lack of a killer instinct, I’ve loved watching the development of Howard’s game. I mean, just think of what he would be if he got angry every once in a while, it would be scary. I remember at one point in The Incredible Hulk when Tim Roth’s character, before he became the Abomination, was fighting the Hulk and asked him, “Is that all you got?” Immediately after asking the question the Hulk kicked the hell out of him and Roth went flying into a tree. I loved that. Why can’t Howard get that pissed and start kicking people – or at least dunking on them and yelling in their face and blocking their shots into the 47th row of arenas and pulling down rebounds with his elbows out? It has to happen at some point.

4. Chris Paul (9-5) 20.6ppg 12.0apg 52.4 FG%
The only reason Chris Paul isn’t higher on this list is because of the Hornets unexpected slow start. Despite starting off the season with seven straight games with at least 20 points and 10 assists, the Hornets were only able to manage to win four games, just imagine what their record would have been if he wasn’t playing out of his mind. Since the Hornets embarrassing loss to Sacramento, they have won four straight with Paul logging two triple doubles during that span. Also, his 52.4 field goal percentage is outstanding considering he and Tony Parker are the only two guards in the NBA shooting over 50 percent from the field with at least 10 field goal attempts per game. Sometimes I find myself wondering if there has been a better point guard in my basketball watching lifetime (from any season after the 1991-1992 season) and I can’t think of any. Not one.

5. Dwyane Wade (7-8) 27.4ppg 7.5apg 2.53spg
I understand that the Heat’s record is under .500 right now (and they were blown out 106-68 by Portland), but you have to understand what Dwyane Wade has done this season. With a rookie starting at both point guard and power forward, a starting center who is 6’8’’ with shoes on and Shawn Marion’s jump shot, Wade has almost single handedly made the Heat a competitive team while posting some ridiculous numbers. Wade has already had a stretch of four straight 30 point games and a four game stretch with ate least three or more steals. If the Heat had a legitimate center you’d be looking at a team that was three to four games over .500 instead of one under right now. I’m just glad Wade is back and healthy. He’s looked quicker this season that he has at any other point in his career, and that’s just scary.

Rounding out the rest of the Top 10
Tim Duncan
Duncan is the reason the Spurs are still a winning team despite injuries to both Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker. This is going to be a tough team when everyone’s healthy.

Chris Bosh
Bosh is second in scoring and fifth in rebounds. Even with those great numbers, the Raptors are just 7-7.

Paul Pierce
For some reason, he still thinks he’s the best basketball player in the world and for some reason, that’s still beyond me. He’d be higher, but his stats are down in scoring and assists this season – and he wasn’t an MVP last year (don’t forget he plays for the Celtics).

Chauncey Billups
The Nuggets are 9-3 since Billups has joined the team. Even though his numbers have been far from great, why are there still Nuggets fans mad about Iverson being traded?

Amar’e Stoudamire
Stoudamire’s numbers started out great, but he’s only had one multi-rebound game since his 49-point, 10-rebound game on November 5th. He needs to average more than eight boards a game.

Let me know who is too high or too low. Who got left off? Who shouldn't be on the list?

Why I'm obligated to buy Kanye's album

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 19:10:00 +0000

One of the things I love in life almost as much as basketball is hip hop. I’ve been a Nas fan for as long as I can remember (actually since the “I am” album, my stuttering friend Reggie bought the album when it came out and we listened to that shit in my friend Marcus’ room for hours while playing Madden ’99 on Nintendo 64). I remember loving the album cover because I was a fucking nerd (I’m saying was like I’m not anymore, don’t let the past tense fool you, I’m still a fucking nerd), and I thought the Ancient Egyptians were some of the illest people in history and Nas’ King Tut looking album cover made me a fan, yeah, it was that simple back then, but I was only 12.

I also remember around the same time Beanie Sigel dropped “The Truth,” something I normally wouldn’t have paid attention to back then. However, being the nerd that I was, I loved (I can’t emphasize the word LOVED enough) great production because I was in band and just loved the way some instruments can be put together. I remember watching 106 & Park (I was 12 haha) back when AJ and Free were still there and Sigel’s song The Truth from The Truth album debuted at something like 10 or something and I remember that beat being ridiculous. It’s not very often I hear a beat and just instantly start feeling that shit, but that Graham Nash sample with those simple, but effective drums had me bobbin my head with a face looking something like I just tasted some mashed peas. A few weeks later my friend Reggie had the Beanie Sigel album and brought it over Marcus’ house and we played Madden while listening to it.

The first two songs on that album were “The Truth” and “Who Want What.” These two songs were the cause for our second longest debate about hip hop (the first being about who we thought was better between Red Man and Method Man, I’m still not sure who I like more, but I digress). We argued for hours about which beat was better produced. At this time both, no one really knew who the two producers were. One was Just Blaze and the other was Kanye West. Don’t get me wrong, I loved “Who Want What,” but I just thought “The Truth” was one of the coldest beats I’ve ever heard. Later that year Jay-Z released “The Dynasty” and I thought Just Blaze was the best thing to happen to hip hop because of that damn intro (still a top 10 beat to me) and “Streets is Talking.” Kanye was on the album too, but he just produced “This Can’t be Life” and I really can’t listen to that shit.

The next year J-Hova released the Blueprint (I still think the album is overrated, but whatever) and I had to switch back over to Kanye as the best thing to happen to hip hop (as far as producers go, of course) because of “Heart of the City.” “Izzo” and “The Takeover” get a lot of love, but “Heart of the City” is still my favorite beat of all time (I even wrote this article about how I knew the Lakers were going to win Game 3 of the finals because their pre-game montage was shown with the Heart of the City instrumental playing in the background). Since I’ve heard Heart of the City, I’ve been a Kanye West fan – die hard Kanye West fan at that. As far as fandom goes, it’s the Raiders, the Lakers, USC football and basketball, the Giants, Nas, Kanye West, UNC basketball and Lupe Fiasco. Everything else falls somewhere after those.

I remember how I felt when I heard Kanye West was releasing The College Dropout the same way I remember going to see Eddie Jones play at the Great Western Forum for the first time. I remember where I was the first time I heard Through the wire the same way I remember where I was when Jordan drained the game winner over Bryon Russell. I remember getting goose bumps when I heard the “Good Morning” beat the much like the way I got them when Baron Davis bumped on AK47 and sent the game to a commercial break. I remember not knowing what to do with myself when I heard “Diamonds,” (maybe my second favorite beat of all time and the second verse may be the best 32 bars of his career) just like the way I sat there not knowing what to do with myself when Kobe dropped 81 on the Raptors. Kanye is the only artist who has points in his career that I look back and reminisce on the way I do with sports, which is why I was so pissed when I learned that he was releasing an album that was going to be strictly recorded in auto-tune.

You see, much like several god awful sports moments, there are god awful moments in music, and I thought 808s and Heartbreak would be one of those god awful moments in music. I must say that I definitely overreacted when I heard that the album was in auto-tune. I mean, did I overreact when I learned that the Raiders traded Marcus Allen (who was a god to me in elementary school) to the fucking Chiefs? Probably. But did I stop loving the Raiders? Absolutely not. What about when the Lakers got rid of Eddie Jones or when the Giants traded Matt Williams for Jeff fucking Kent (I’ve never hated a baseball player more than I hate Jeff fucking Kent). I still haven’t stopped loving the Lakers and I still haven’t stopped loving the Giants.

So why should I stop loving Kanye’s music? I shouldn’t. There is nothing I hate more than Chingy, and people who lack loyalty is one of those things. I’ve been loyal to Kanye’s music for too long for me to just drop him off because of what I thought was a potentially bad career move. The funniest part about it is his album leaked about a week ago and I still haven’t stopped playing that shit. Hip hop heads will probably hate it, but artistically, it’s an amazing album. It’s definitely completely different from anything anyone has out right now. Even though he’s using that heinous auto-tune affect, it’s not nearly as obnoxious as the way T-Pain uses it. The production is still amazing, he has some good messages, it’s definitely his most personal album and its creativity is on another level (which for him is amazing considering the fact that he’s been one of the most creative men in hip hop over the last decade).

I’m obligated to buy Kanye’s new album the same way I’m obligated to watch the Raiders game tomorrow. I may hate the way the Raiders are playing, but I’ve invested too much of my life into the team that I have to be there through the good and the bad – except this album isn’t bad as much as it is different. I just thought it would be bad. I’ll write an actual review of his album and Ludacris’ new one after my finals next week. Time to study. Yikes.

Ball don't lie

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 01:34:00 +0000

Talkhoops.net was linked to yahoo.com's Ball Don't Lie blog. It's not something completely huge, but the more readers we get the better. We got linked for a picture talkhoops.net editor, Zach Harper, posted on the 8 Second violation (ESV). Readers on the yahoo.com blog can post and come up with their own captioins, you should go through and post your own.

Here is the link for the Ball Don't Lie post on our 8 Second Violation

Here is the actual ESV that was posted.

It's the second time I've had something written posted on the blog and the fifth or sixth time the website has been posted there. It's good recgonition I guess.

NICEEEEE!

Notes on the NBA [pt. 2]

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:45:00 +0000

I'm back with another edition of my NBA's observations. You can read this post, along with the rest of talkhoops.net's Eight Second Violation here.

This edition of my observations I get into the Atlanta Hawks. Also, my cousin asked me my thoughts on the Lakers and NBA.com moving Lebron James up six spots in the MVP voting, so I'll share my thoughts on that here too.

Atlanta Hawks
After an impressive first round loss to the Celtics in last season’s playoffs, many wondered if the Atlanta Hawks were going to be able to come back this season as a legitimate threat in the Eastern Conference. After seven games, the Hawks have answered those questons going 6-1 with their one loss coming from a last second shot dropping from the NBA Final’s MVP (I just threw up realizing that Paul Pierce has a Finals MVP), with Al Horford in early foul trouble and without Josh Smith. How have they been doing it?

The Hawks have been winning by playing defense. The Hawks have the league’s fifth best scoring defense allowing just 91.4 points per game. The Hawks didn’t allow any team to break the century mark against them until Smith went down with an injury and only allowed one team (Toronto) to break 90 before Smith’s injury. What’s been most impressive about the Hawks is they’ve played extremely well on the road. Before Smith’s injury, they were only giving up 83 points per game on the road, which included trips to Orlando (85) and to New Orleans (79).

Their athleticism has translated into a legion of versatile defenders. Unlike most teams, the Hawks are able to switch on the majority of screens set by their opposition, which has really given opposing offenses fits. Guys like Joe Johnson, Josh Smith and Marvin Williams are able to guard multiple positions and have been able to reduce the number of open looks teams would normally have off of pick and rolls. If veterans like Mike Bibby, Johnson and Ronald Murray can keep the youngsters in line and if they can stay healthy, this could be a very dangerous team in the East.

Not expected: I just spent the previous two paragraphs talking about Atlanta’s defense, but Mike Woodson has seven guys currently averaging double figures. They’re also turning it over at a low rate (just overt 13 per game, seventh in the league) and they have the leagues eighth best assist to turnover ratio (1.57). Also, the Hawks have shown that they won’t have to rely on Joe Johnson to have big numbers or to take over fourth quarters for them to win games. Against Chicago, Johnson was only four for 16 with 17 points, but got 27, 17 and six blocks from Al Horford and nine points from Mike Bibby in the fourth quarter.

Something to consider: Atlanta’s next nine games are against teams that are a combined six games under .500, playing only two teams (Indiana and Cleveland) who currently have winning records. If the Hawks continue to keep their defensive intensity up, they could finish November with a record somewhere between 16-1 and 14-3. I’m not saying that’s how it’s going to play out, but it’s a definite possibility. They’ve been playing as well as anyone in the league outside of the Lakers and the Jazz. This beyond belief considering that some predicted that Mike Woodson would be the first coach fired this season.

Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers have been scary good to start off this season, and in my opinion, they haven't even scratched the surface of how good they can be on the offensive end. There have been several times this year where the Lakers have gone more than three minutes without scoring, with the majority of those times coming when there were at least three starters on the floor. The Lakers' second unit has played brilliant this season and can be directly attributed for at least two of their wins so far.

What I've liked most about the team so far is the fact that their average margin of victory has been something like 18 points per game (I don't feel like looking up the actual number right now lol) and Kobe still hasn't had one of those games where he's "Kobe." I love the fact that he's keeping opposing teams defenses honest while still getting his (just over 24 ppg). Just knowing Kobe can still go off at any time (as we've seen in three separate fourth quarters this season), makes me feel great about where this season is headed.

When the Lakers traded for Trevor Ariza last season I couldn't be more excited, and all of my boys who hate the Lakers couldn't under stand why -- now they do. He's been amazing off the bench for the Lakers, and so has Jordan Farmar (who I think will be the Lakers starting pg either by the end of this season or the beginning of next). Sasha has been streaky, but that was expected and I love the way Phil Jackson's been using Luke Walton. Every time the Lakers go on those 5-7 spurts of one-on-one basketball (like we saw at the end of the third and the beginning of the fourth against the Hornets) he brings in Walton who he knows will move the ball around. Just the fact that Jackson has the personnel to do that makes me smile (lol).

I can't wait for this game against Detroit tonight.

NBA.com's MVP Voting
As far as NBA.com moving LeBron ahead of Kobe in the MVP race (from 7th to 1st is a huge jump) I could really care less at this point. It's the middle of November and Bron was at the top of everyone's list at this point in the season last year. I do think, if he can keep numbers like this all season and the Cavs win 50 games, I think he'll win the MVP as long as the Lakers don't win something like 70 games or CP3 doesn't continue this ridiculous streak of 20 and 10 games. I really like what Joe Johnson has done this season and he could be a major player for the MVP if the Hawks can stay atop the Eastern Conference. Dwyane Wade's numbers this last week have been stupid. I think he might be quicker than he was before the surgery, and that's just scary.

Gone 'Till November... 10th

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:50:00 +0000

I'll be making my four day trip covering about 36 percent of California's length. I'll be heading out from Bakersfield to Tulare on Friday to visit my mom and a few friends. From Tulare to Fresno early Sunday morning to catch up with a cousin. Then from Fresno to Turlock after that to meet up with another friend, then from Turlock to Sacramento for the Kings-Warriors game after that.

On Monday morning, I'll be attending Associated Press Sports Editors Conference. I'm pretty excited because I'm going to get to meet Randy Harvey, the Sports Editor of the Los Angeles Times, a newspaper I grew up reading.

Then I'll be back in Bakersfield on Tuesday morning to layout my newspaper more inspired than ever to become one of the nation's top sports journalists. I figure three more years of hard work and I'll be well on my way to where I want to be. Three more years...

The Iverson-Billups Trade

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 01:16:00 +0000

[Note: I started this at 4:30 and just finished it now. It has not been edited in any way, so please, excuse any grammatical errors, spelling errors or any factual mistakes about the game of basketball. Thank You.]

One of the negative aspects about being a college student is the fact that you have ridiculous priorities – essays, newspaper editing, meaningless reading etc. – that you’re forced to put ahead of more important things, like analyzing the recent Pistons-Nuggets trade involving Detroit’s Chauncey Billups and Denver’s Allen Iverson.

Talkhoops.net editor, Zach Harper, wrote this article on the day of the trade on why it was terrible for both sides, and before I really had a chance to think about it (I was editing news stories at the time I heard the news), I pretty much agreed. However, just days after the trade, I have a couple thoughts on why this works for both sides – which will be listed in no particular order. Let’s look at the Pistons’ side of the deal first.

1. Since Chauncey Billups joined the Pistons, ‘Detroit Basketball’ has been the same “go out and play tough on defense and team ball on offense.” We got six years of that, and those who consider themselves true basketball fans who love the game in its purest form had to love every minute of it, I know I did. However, with age becoming a factor (Rasheed Wallace) and the development of their youth (Jason Maxiell and Rodney Stuckey), it can be argued that Joe Dumars is doing the right thing in getting rid of Billups and bringing in Iverson. He brings a change of pace to a core of guys who know how to play together. Instead of not knowing who they’re going to go to at the end of games (Chauncey wore out the nickname “Mr. Bigshot after the 2004 Finals), they now have a proven scorer in Iverson who can close games out.

2. Allen Iverson is in a contract year, and this is important because A) Iverson is 33 and will need to prove that he’s still “The Answer” so he can cash in another huge payday and B) Iverson is being paid over $19 million this season and would he a huge cap relief at the end of this season considering that Billups is just in his second season of a four year contract worth about $46 million. Also, Wallace’s contract also expires at the end of this season, giving Dumars and the Pistons the option to completely make over this team with their young core without completely giving up on this season. Iverson is still the NBA’s toughest competitor and you know he’s going to do his job night in and night out. If he can take the collection of Theo Ratliff, Dikembe Mutombo, Aaron McKie, Eric Snow, Tyrone Hill, George Lynch, Tony Kukoc and Matt Geiger (yes, I did need to name the next eight leading scorers from that team – just for the effect – hell I’ll add in Rodney Buford too) to the NBA Finals, and take a game from a Lakers team who went into the Finals unblemished, it’s safe to say that this Pistons team with Iverson can definitely compete.

Why does this work for the Nuggets? Keep reading.

1. Chauncey Billups has been the leader for the most consistent team in the NBA over the last six years, this cannot be argued. Billups spent six years in Detroit, made six trips to the Eastern Conference Finals, made two trips to the NBA Finals and took the title in 2004 (and yes, I’m still bothered thinking about that season). Unless you’re giving up Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Chris Paul or Deron Williams (I’m only considering parameter players), your team doesn’t get worse by acquiring Billups. In fact, I think that Denver actually gets better with Billups in Iverson’s place. Denver is stacked with guys who can put points on the board (Carmello Anthony, Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza all averaged double figures last season), but they really haven’t had a guy who could control the pace of the game, especially in the half court set – which happens to be everything that has made Billups’ a great basketball player.

2. Let’s just take a moment and reflect on last year’s post season’s biggest joke: The Nuggets defense. In their four games against the Lakers, Luke Walton averaged over 13 points per game. Luke Walton! Not only that, but they gave up over 114 points per contest in that series. As the old homage goes, defense wins championships, which is why Billups has a ring and no one on the Nuggets does. Instead of two guys who don’t play any defense playing over 78 combined minutes per game, you’ll only have one guy out there who’s allergic to playing both ends of the floor and Billups, one of the leagues best defending point guards. Just his presence on the defensive end could make this a second place team instead of a third place team in the Pacific Northwest.

Who got the better end of the deal? In the short run, it’s definitely the Nuggets. There was a possibility of them not even making the playoffs in the Western Conference this season, but with the addition of Billups, I don’t think there’s anyway they don’t make the post season. Are they title contenders now? Absolutely not, but they are a much better basketball team and George Karl might actually get some sleep not having to worry about how to make the Nuggets a more defensive team with Iverson and Melo logging significant minutes.

However, in the long run, this could potentially be a huge deal for the Pistons considering in the summer of 2010 the likes of Lebron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh become free agents. Dumars will have ample amounts of cap space to lure in one of the big names, but again, you really can’t count out the Pistons this season. Iverson, Richard Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, and Sheed is still a great core, especially when Jason Maxiell, Jarvis Hayes and Rodney Stuckey on the bench. I like the trade for both teams.

Thought's on the trade yourself? Let me know!

Obama '08! I hope you voted!

Two Things

noreply@blogger.com (imsohideous) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:47:00 +0000

1. Fuck that essay. Glad that shit is over with.
2. Go out and vote tomorrow. I don't care who you vote for as long as he (or she) is not a republican lol.

ps
3. Basketball is back! I'll have thoughts on the Iverson for Chauncy trade either later on tonight or sometime tomorrow.