Striving to be Pink in a Gray World

I Deserve an ESPY for Having an Aspies Brother

2012-09-05T21:14:00.000-07:00

Every year ESPN hosts a ceremony that presents athletes that have excelled in sports with awards. Most of these individuals have prevailed over adversity , remained focused under pressure, and have been training for years. Anyone that has lived with someone that has Asperger Syndrome knows that it is a marathon sport.

My younger brother has a form of Autism called Asperger Syndrome. People with this diagnosis are often referred to as Aspies in the autism community. Individuals with this disorder can have symptoms of:

Having difficulty or anxiety with social situations
Becoming over-focused on a single item and want to know everything about this topic
Unusual repetitive body movements
Having problems with eye contact, facial expression, and gestures
Clumsiness

   My brother is labeled as "weird" or "strange" by others. A recent outing to a Royal Oak restaurant for his birthday celebration is a perfect example of why people view Aspies in this manner.

   The event started with the fact that it was a beautiful summer evening to eat on a patio and enjoy the scenery of downtown Royal Oak. However, our party had to sit inside the dark venue because my brother is easily over stimulated and has anxiety with social situations. After we had settled into our seats, he began to look over the beverage menu and became fixated on the Mexican beers. He asked the waitress 101 questions about the beers. This continued for 5 minutes until she started to get testy. I interjected with the suggestion that she bring a flight, but the bar did not offer one. It was agreed for her to just bring her personal favorite selection. Between the general social interaction of the outing and the interlude with the waitress, he needed to calm himself down, so he began "stimming". Stimming is when an autistic person does a repetitive motion in order to calm them self. In my brothers case, this is crumpling as many napkins as he can get his paws on.
   It is a tradition for his birthday that I take a picture of just him. I have always found it interesting that he never has eye contact with the camera, a typical sign of Asperger Syndrome. This year, I asked him to pose with the beer that was an ordeal to order. Also, I wanted to capture the beautiful cashmere mock shirt that he was wearing since that was his gift from my husband and I. While posing, he clumsily dropped the beer. On the way down to the ground, it spilled all over him and my father who had the pleasure of sitting next to him. The dropping of the beer started a public panic attack.

In my pre-teen years, this scene would have sent me into tears of embarrassment. However, after 3 decades of learning to cope with an Asperger Syndrome brother and gaining an education about the disorder, I just laughed. I would say that this recent scene definitely qualifies me for an Aspies ESPY.

Success of the Day: Realizing how much I have matured

Pink Inspiration: The pink shade on my father's face as he held in his anger after having beer spilled on him

My Summer with an Albino

2012-02-23T14:56:00.000-08:00

During high school, I worked as a lifeguard at the local city pool. While working there I was fascinated by a young man. He was older and in college... no this not a crush. I was seduced by curiosity. He looked like an albino...with his pale white skin, platinum blond hair, and aquamarine blue eyes. The albino was thin,very athletic, and had the intelligence that you would expect from an University of Michigan undergrad. He was also a vegan.

Since it was the mid 1990's, vegan was not an everyday term like it is today. I looked forward to having the same lunch break as him. We both packed our own lunches and ate together while I drilled him about being a vegan. He explained to me that his diet consisted of no animal products. I would watch him consume exotic nuts like soy and brazilian...up until this point the only nuts I knew about were Planter's peanuts and the special jar of cashews my father received as a gift during the holidays. One time, I thought I would totally stump the albino by asking him about honey. That technically is not an animal product, right? He maintained that he does not eat honey because it comes from a living thing and ate agave nectar instead. (My thoughts...."Agave nectar. What? Weird!")

While the albino was eating nuts, fresh fruit, veggies and protein packed grains that I could not pronounce I was eating my brown bag staples. This was packaged low fat turkey, light Wonder bread, prepackaged baby carrots and a piece of fruit. He would educate me about how bad eating processed and packaged foods was for the body and the environmental consequences of animal farming. At this point in my life, I had already removed beef and pork from my diet. How could he ask more from me! I thought he was just going through a crazy college kid phase.

Fast forward fifteen years...while adding walnuts and agave nectar to my morning oatmeal, I remembered the albino. He had not crossed my mind in over decade. I had realized that over time I had become more like him than I ever thought I would. Weird!

Success of the Day: Remembering to not judge others because one day you may become like them

Pink Inspiration: The pink tint of the albino's skin that peeked out from beneath the thick layer of chemical free titanium dioxide sunscreen on his face

Tickets to the Gun Show

2011-11-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

I must apologize to my loyal blog fans for not posting in nearly two months. I appreciate your encouragement and requests for more posts. I hope this and future entries do not disappoint you.

Last month my husband participated in his first ever body building championship. This has to be one of the most interesting events of our lives. I use the words "our lives" because it required dedication from the both of us. He started to train daily in January for the show in October. As the months progressed closer to the date the daily workouts increased to two a days.

Sounds pretty normal, huh? Not so much as the calendar turned to 8 weeks from the event. He needed to lose 50 pounds for the show. So, the two a days increased to three times and eventually four times a day. He literally ate a farm a day. This vegetarian watched him eat a half dozen egg whites and half a pound of turkey bacon daily. Do you have any idea how much I hate the smell of bacon? I would rather scoop dog poop than be near the stove while it is sizzling. I also had the daily task of cooking his 2-3 chicken breasts. I do not eat chicken because it reminds of the muscles in a human cadaver. Grossed out yet? I totally was, but I wanted to be supportive.

The week before the show: he dehydrated himself by decreasing his fluid intake, diuretics, and trips to the sauna. Crabby? You betch ya!

Two days before the show: he tried on his banana hammock Speedo. I cannot complain about seeing his sculpted body in that but the mood was destroyed when he kept asking me if he looked fat. Ladies...I learned a valuable lesson...do not ask your mate if you are fat when scantly clad...it is a total romance blocker.

Day before the show: I watched my husband get naked in front of another man inside a tent in this stranger’s living room and plugged my nose while he sprayed every nook on his body three times. Later that night I went to bed with a starving orange man that smelled like chemicals and body odor. (Oh, I forgot to mention that the competitors cannot use deodorant before or after the spray tan or it turns it green. Showers are also a no-no because it removes the color)

Day of the show: I watched over 100 men and women strut their stuff on stage for 10 hours. I saw everything including hot bodies, cellulite, man boobs, and women that looked like men. The smell in the auditorium was a mixture of spray tan, body odor and the peanut butter that they eat between the morning and night show. I do not think this is a fragrance that Calvin Klein will be launching anytime soon.

We both came out winners in this competition. My husband won a sword for placing 5th in his weight class and I was awarded a new pair of shoes for being wife of the year.

Success of the Day: Realizing that anything is possible if you put your mind to it

Pink Inspiration: The fit ladies in their hot pink bikinis...total motivation to be fit

Don't Try This At Home

2011-08-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I was in the grocery store making my routine rounds. This included purchasing a chocolate bar that I use to ward off binges by eating a few squares during the week when a craving strikes. I am currently high on Green & Blacks Sea Salt and Peanut chocolate bar. On this particular day, the bars were moved to the top shelf and I was wearing flat gladiator sandals instead of my heels. I was struggling to reach the bar when I man came up next to me. I was flabbergasted when he said " you really need to read the labels on those things because they have a ton of calories" and walked away instead of helping me. I instantly felt like the fat girl that people mock when they eat candy.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Instead of breaking down crying in the aisle of the grocery, I panicked. My cart started to make a bee line to the baby food aisle. My brain finally caught up with my adrenaline filled body and I realized that I had read in a magazine at the salon about how celebrities go on baby food diets to lose weight. The self proclaimed diva celebrity inside had taken over and was putting the recommended 14 jars a day of baby food in the shopping cart. Thankfully, I had not eaten yet that morning and could start the diet that day.

11:00 am: 3 jars of baby food. It tasted pretty good. I was impressed at how enjoyable the banana and oatmeal selection tasted.

1:00 pm: 3 more jars of baby food. Still tasted good, but missed chewing and did not feel satisfied.

3:00 pm: Really started to get hungry. I did not think that eating a cup of 35 calorie popcorn would hurt my diet efforts and it helped satisfy the need to chew.

4:00 pm: Crabbed at my husband on the phone and was so tired that I had to take a nap. The dog would not even come into the bed with me. Was I radiating that much negative energy?

6:00 pm: Cooked my husband dinner. Ate a jar of baby food while he ate his meal. Broke down and finished what was suppose to be his lunch for the next day.

Obviously, that did not last too long. I needed to come up with a plan that would be more realistic. My solution was to enlist the help of a personal trainer and count my calories on www.livestrong.com The first visit with the trainer was brutal! I nearly passed out while doing squats on the Bosu ball and for the next few days I looked like my 91 year old grandmother when I went up or down the stairs. I have been complaining about the 20 pounds that I gained last year while receiving treatment for a medical condition. Now, thanks to a rude stranger in the grocery store, I am motivated to make a difference in my life.

Success of the Day: Realizing that there are NO quick fixes

Pink Inspiration: My pink New Balance workout shoes that I am starting not to be able to see when I look down at my feet

Striving to be Pink in a Gray World: Guests and Fish

2011-08-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

Striving to be Pink in a Gray World: Guests and Fish: "Ben Franklin is credited with the quote, ' guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.' However, I did not find this to be true whe..."

Guests and Fish

2011-08-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Ben Franklin is credited with the quote, "guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." However, I did not find this to be true when my younger cousin from Savannah came to visit for a week. It was refreshing to see him blossom from the belly bump on his mother to the worldly young man he is today. My husband and I truly enjoyed his company.What did stink was the tuna fish disaster that I encountered three days into him being in town.

We were enjoying time at my parents' pool. The fun in sun made us hungry, so this fabulous host made tuna sandwiches. I rinsed out the cans in order to prep them for recycling. My parents were hosting a BBQ in my cousin's honor later that day and I did not want the fish to smell up the kitchen. So, I decided to run the garbage disposal. However, the disposal cover was missing and I did not want dirty tuna water to splash up onto me. In order to solve this dilemma with Sherlock Holmes sleuth, I put the tuna can over the disposal hole to prevent a fish water shower and turned it on. The power sucked the can down and it got stuck. I immediately asked my father for a pliers. His response "What did you do in my kitchen now?" Everyone was laughing as he removed the can except him.

The following day, like fish on a mission to more fruitful waters, we crossed the Detroit River into Canada. My husband, cousin, and self had a fun getaway to Caesars Windsor Hotel and Casino. We enjoyed a night of gambling, fine dining, and relaxation. Overall, it was a great trip, except for the return home. We were stopped at customs and our car was searched. After fishing through our luggage, the female guard gave us a hard time about the amount of items we had. She asked " Are you sure you only stayed one night? You have a lot of stuff for a day trip." Really? Has she never encountered a Greek and an Italian metro sexual travelling with fashionista before? I would have hated to see what would have happened if my cousin brought his large full size suitcase like he wanted. Thankfully it wouldn't fit into the sports car.

Success of the Day: Discovering that being a slave to fashion may land one a spot in prison

Pink Inspiration: The pink carry-on suitcase in the trunk that actually contained my husband's clothes because HIS belongings would not fit into a tote bag

The Amazing Flying Herbert: Admission $1

2011-07-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted a Betta fish. I think they are beautiful and soothing to watch. My passionate PETA self justifies having one because they are Japanese puddle fish and enjoy living in small spaces. In order to make myself feel better when I lost my job, I adapted one from PETCO and named him Herbert. I really enjoy watching him swim and talking to him in his tank while I attempt to cook. Although I have to admit it feels wrong admiring Herbert while preparing fish.

The other day it was his turn to eat. I opened the top of his tank and he jumped out. Herbert landed on the counter and than fell onto the floor. He was flopping around on the ground between the dogs' dishes while they were eating. I started to screech and tried scooping him up. My Yorkie started barking at either the fish or the unnatural sounds coming out of my mouth. The Silky took this opportunity to eat his brother's food while we were distracted. Thankfully they did not try to eat him. After multiple attempts, I was successful in catching him in my hands and putting him back in his tank. Once he was back home, he ate his blood worm food like nothing had happened.

Success of the Day: Learning from Herbert that sometimes you need to take a leap of faith

Pink Inspiration: My pink cell phone that I wanted to use in order to call 911 during the all the chaos

Party Poodle

2011-07-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had lunch and went shopping in the swanky district of downtown Birmingham (Michigan) with my mother. While there, I had to pay homage to my favorite posh pet boutique. This store sells so many beautiful items for the most privileged pooches. In fact, both of my dogs sport collars are from this pet palace. However, the store is not limited to only merchandise, it also sell designer puppies. The featured dog du jour was a party poodle. This tiny toy was an adorable little chap with a chocolate brown face and white body. He was beautiful and full of energy. He was even waving to my mother and me through the glass enclosure. The sales associate and sister of the owner gave us her expert knowledge about him. I asked her “what exactly is a party poodle?” I was told “two different colored poodles are bred to get a desired mix of colors in distinct areas. For example, this little boy was conceived from a chocolate poodle and a white poodle in order to achieve a colored face and white body.” As she carried on, all I could think was that two doggies simply had a party in their pants.

It is disturbing to me that people are breeding dogs for thousand dollar profits when there are millions of homeless pets. This includes pure breeds and designer dogs. If you wanted a party poodle, you could find and adopt a party poodle. The upside: you will be the proud owner of the exact breed you want, you are paying a fraction of the price, and most importantly an animal is saved from a shelter lifestyle. The down side: you will not have the breed paperwork, but do you really need it? Do you show admirers the receipt for your Louboutins when you wear them?

On the flip side of my soap box, I have to give credit to the genius mind that came up with the creative idea to design their own breed of dog for a profit. This made me realize that there are endless possibilities for me to flex my creative muscles and make money. I have always day dreamed about being an artist, an author, a jewelry designer, a photographer, or a fashion designer. Since I am in a career transition, this is the perfect time to make my aspirations come true. I have the time to learn these crafts. Who knows…maybe one of these castles in the sky will turn into my new career?

Success of the Day: Gaining the moxy to follow my dreams

Pink Inspiration: A pink dog t-shirt with rhinestones being sold in the boutique for $125. I have bought my dogs similar ones for $2.50 and glued on the bling myself.

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

2011-06-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

At a recent party with friends, I felt a little blue explaining my latest adventure in job hunting. When asked for updates by caring chums, I described the grueling process of a pharmaceutical sales interview. There are actually 4-5 standard steps:

1) Phone interview

2) Initial face to face interview with a panel of managers

3) Second interview with managers

4) Spend a day shadowing a pharmaceutical rep so that they can report their opinion of you to the managers

5) Interview with your potential manger’s boss

This month I made it through all of these steps for a company, then suddenly with a snap, I was told “we decided to move in a different direction with the position”. The feedback I received during this process was that I had too much experience and that they were uncomfortable with me accepting their potential offer which was a pay cut from my previous position. Really? Last time I checked this is a recession and almost everyone has been making less money. Not to mention that this is sales…wouldn’t taking a cut in base pay be motivation to earn more bonus dollars?

Even though I was sharing this story with my fellow party goers, I was not a Debbie Downer. I brought firecrackers. I was really looking forward to the bright flicks of light and loud crackling sounds. One of my good friends lined up the fireworks for a well choreographed display. But when he lit the firecrackers, the wick only fizzled out to leave me once again disappointed. My friend investigated the mystery of these duds. The result: The firecrackers were NOT fireworks, they were party poppers! The party people still enjoyed pulling the strings to make the confetti pop out and of course a good laugh in my honor.

Success of the Day: Realizing that sometimes things do not always play out the way you thought they would, so just roll with it

Pink Inspiration: The pink lighter that tried to light the "fireworks"

Stiff Interview Simulation

2011-06-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

Career transition courses at a local center were offered as a part of my severance package from work. I definitely took advantage of this opportunity. I really enjoyed being updated on the changes in the job hunting arena. The job market has changed in the past decade... Skype interviews, Linked In networking, and no "references available upon request" on your resume are just a few new things.

The final class was an interview simulation. This course was a mock panel interview conducted by 2 career counselors pretending to be a hiring manager and an HR representative. The goal was to be asked common interview questions, answer in the manner you were taught, and receive feedback in order to be prepared for actual interviews.

One of the questions that I received was "What was a mistake you have made?" I proudly set up my answer in the CAR format. C- explain the challenge. A- describe the action. R- give the result. This over achiever, even remembered to state " an example from early in my career", which was an instruction given in one of the previous courses. My answer blew the mock interviewers away!

I explained that I sold Viagra when I first started as pharmaceutical rep. The selling message to doctors was that this medication "gave the patient a harder and firmer erection versus the competition." I told this to a physician of a cultural background that did not discuss erectile dysfunction (ED). He said "no penis" and walked away. I was not allowed back in the office for sometime. I proceeded to explain how I turned this doctor around, he began to open ED dialogue with his patients, and became a good Viagra customer. I was so proud of myself for giving a stellar example.

After being laughed at by the career counselors, I was told not to use the words "erection" or "penis" in an interview. This is especially true when interviewing outside the medical community. I guess after nearly a decade of aggressively selling medications and discussing body functions on a daily basis, you forget how to communicate with the rest of the world. It is a good thing that I went to this career center because I honesty thought I did well!

Success of the Day: Learning to how to polish up my interview style

Pink Inspiration: The pink cheeks of the embarrassed male mock interviewer

Larry the Lobster

2011-06-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Earning enough Skymiles for a free trip seems impossible, but I FINALLY did it! I redeemed my miles to visit my best friend in Boston over the memorial weekend. I love Boston! The old historic buildings, the ocean, mass transport, seafood galore, and shopping (of course).

There is a particular pet boutique that I frequent on every visit. When I walked in on Saturday, the owner said "Good to see you again. How is Chicago?" Well, it is Detroit, but I did not want disappoint her knowledge of repeat customers.

In the boutique, I found a rare white "Chewy Vuitton" and a "Chewnel". My boys love little doggie purses. No, I am not pushing my favorite things onto my children. They like the handles so they can toss them up in the air. And yes, they are secure enough in their manhood to like purses. I thought these would be my only purchases until I saw the most adorable lobster cookies. One cannot go to Boston and not bring home a lobster themed souvenir. So, I bought 1 Larry the lobster cookie for the dogs to share.

The shopping trip was a success. The boys loved their presents. The Silky Terrier picked the "Chewnel" and the Yorkie choose the "Chewy Vuittion". However, only the 4 pound Yorkie wanted the giant cookie. It took him all day to eat Larry.

It has been raining constantly here in Michigan. Anyone who has owned a Yorkie knows that they are never 100% potty trained and that accidents increase with inclement weather. Well, the next morning there were 2 new spots on the white carpet. I used the pet cleaner to remove the mess, however only wee-wee came up onto the cloth. The red die from the lobster cookie had filtered from the treat, through my dog, and onto my carpet!

Success of the Day: Learning to bring home a real lobster from Boston as a souvenir and not a fake

Pink Inspiration: The pink residue left on my white carpet

Caffinated Cellulite

2011-04-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

I am desperate! Last night after midnight, I had a panic attack. I realized that I am leaving for a beach vacation in less than a week and my cellulite is out of control. Since I am not currently employed, my goal was to work out every day and lose 20 pounds. Surprise. That has not happened.

My first thought was to run out to a 24-hour store and buy some cellulite cream. On second thought, spending $20-$50 on a cream that barely works and will not show results in a week did not seam feasible to this newly money savvy chic. So, I developed a brilliant plan at 1:15am to make my own.

The beauty magazines tout that caffeine is responsible for reducing the orange peel appearance of cellulite. What has caffeine? Coffee! I went and found the darkest k-cup that I could find in the pantry. The darker...the more caffeine...right? Then I cut open the k-cup. A black cloud of ground coffee blew out the top. Ok. Step 1 complete. I put it in a bowl.

Step 2. Now how do I get this on my legs? I need to mix it with something. At this late hour, sesame oil seemed like a logical choice because I used to slather it on to lighten the color of stretch marks. I mixed the dark coffee grounds and the sesame oil together. It smelled awful but I was a determined woman. I rubbed this mixture on my legs while standing in the kitchen. Not a fab idea. Coffee got all over the floor and the dogs were having a field day. You would have thought they had been unleashed at Starbucks.

I grabbed the cling wrap and wrapped my legs so it would stop falling off. The dogs were still going at the mess on the floor so I vacuumed it up. Problem. I should have worn underwear during this beauty treatment. Coffee grounds went were no coffee should ever go: truly an uncomfortable experience.

However, I did successfully make it up the stairs to rinse the mess off in the shower. I must admit that I really think it work a tad bit. I actaully may try it again.

When my husband returns home from his trip what do you think he will notice first? My reduced cellulite or the lingering odor of sesame oil and coffee?

Success of the Day: Gaining motivation to make exercise a daily part of my life again

Pink Inspiration: My pink beach towel: It is ready for me regardless of my cellulite status.

Supporting Michigan

2011-04-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

I can really use an upgrade on my spring handbag. I have been carrying the same fall/winter bag for 3 years and do not want to continue using it into the spring/summer season. The bright yellow Coach tote that I purchased last summer is just too heavy for my less than stellar back. It truly needs to find a new home with a deserving Ebay shopper.

I REALLY want the MICHAEL by Michael Kors Hamilton Large Tote! My pre-unemployment self would have ran to his store in my stilettos faster than most can sign their name on a credit card slip. However, now I can NOT justify spending the amount of an unemployment check on a handbag.

My friend introduced me to a line of handbags from local designer, Jenna Kator. Her collection has some fantastic pieces. I purchased "The Petoskey".

http://www.jennakatorhandbags.com/petoskey-details.html

I really like this purse. It has the same color and similar style of the Michael Kors bag, but is much less expensive. I also LOVE the fact that I am supporting another Michigan resident. We all need to assist one another in this tough economy. However, I must admit that through this positivity I was feeling gray. I was having a pity party that I could not afford a famous designer bag because I equate handbags to social status.

Then the most amazing event took place. There is a lady at the career center that I admire very much. She is a retired VP from a local prestigious hospital system. She is a classy, professional, and well educated woman. I aspire to be like her when I am at retirement age. When I sat next to her in a class today, she showed me her Jenna Kator bag! She had "The Cranbrook" purse. It made me feel so good that someone I hold in such high esteem had a handbag by the same designer. If it is good enough for her then it is good enough for me. Now I LOVE my new bag!

Success of the Day: Accepting the fact that status is much more than a single handbag

Pink Inspiration: The pink Hello Kitty band-aid stashed at the bottom of my purse that came in handy for my bruised ego

Moved Back Home

2011-04-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

I have moved back home with my parents.... BUT just temporarily. My mother had cosmetic surgery earlier in the week and requires around the clock care. The dogs and I moved in to help her with recovery. It is the least I could do since she has done this twice for me in the past year. I was really looking forward to a "vacation", a trip down memory lane. However that is not what has been happening. Things in my childhood home have changed:

My old room has new paint, curtains, and a wall border
3 cats have replaced the giant German Shepard
The fridge full of home cooked meals has been replaced with a can of Spam and left over soups

Foremost, this adventure is a departure from when my mother cared for four children and a husband in this home. I am now the care taker. I feed her and giver her medication every few hours. I also change her surgical tubes. It is like feeding and diapering a new born, expect this one will be quiet when you tell it to "zip it".

Although this may not sound like much fun, I am in very good spirits. It feels really good to give back to someone that has helped you...because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to. And it is GREAT to see her do something for herself after 32 years of unselfishly doing for her family.

Plus there is still the endless supply of feta cheese!

Success of the Day: Realizing the place I have with my husband is now my true home

Pink Inspiration: The old pink paint in my former bedroom that is visible through a crack in the wall

How do you Hot Wire a Car?

2011-03-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

In case you missed an older blog, I had a company car with my previous employer. When I was downsized, my car was too. Joe and I had been sharing one.

Vehicle Update: The passing of my father-in-law left his wife with two fully paid vehicles, 2 insurance payments, and one driver. She is generously loaning us one of the cars and we are reciprocating by covering the insurance payments.

This morning I left the house to go to one of my much needed Employee Assistance Program (EAP) sponsored therapy sessions. Upon entering the garage, I realized my husband decided to switch vehicles, but not keys. I was left with a car and a key that could NOT start it. The first thought I had was to hot wire the car. The second thought that darted in my head was... how did I grow up in the Detroit area and not learn that skill?

Oh the irony of this situation!

Success of the Day: Catching myself stress eating before I ate the entire industrial size tub of hummus from Costco

Pink Inspiration: My yorkie's pink tongue. It is hard to stay bitter when his sweet smile includes a pop of his little tongue

Light in the Shadow of Death

2011-03-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to my father-in-law: Robert "Bob" Maltagliati 1953-2011

During the eulogy for him, I stated:

"Bob may be gone, but he will not be forgotten. Please do NOT remember him as you see him lying here in state. He would want you to reminisce that he was a:

· loving and devoted family man

· man of generosity

· hard worker that provided for his family

· man of style with a flair for fashion

· master of jokes- no matter the color

· the next Tiger Woods

· master chef of pasta sauce

· charming flirt

· and a gifted gambler

He has touched each of you in this room in a special way. Please take that with you when leave tonight.

If Bob was standing here instead of me, he would…

· Tell his wife Jay to keep on living

· Tell his family to keep on loving one another

· And tell each of you to keep on laughing"

And laughing among the sadness is what just we did. I like to think I am a smart cookie, but sometimes I doubt myself. My joke loving father-in-law would have appreciated the following misunderstandings:

A family member said to me "last time I saw you, you were in white." I retorted, " I have always been Caucasian." ...they were referring to my wedding day.
My aunt mentioned that there is a potential ban on menthol cigarettes because kids like the taste of them. I questioned " kids are now eating cigarettes?"
My husband informed my brother-in-law, his wife, and myself that we would be delivering the host to the priest during the funeral service. I asked "why can't the host deliver whatever the priest needs them self? After all they are the HOST." Then he explained to me the act of delivering the sacrament during a mass.

Success of the Day: Celebrating that death is not an end, but the beginning of eternity

Pink Inspiration: The gorgeous pink roses that were scattered among different floral arrangements at the funeral home. You can not fall into an abyss of sadness when you are surrounded such beauty.

Frisky Fish

2011-03-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to all of you that will observe Lent and eat fish tomorrow.

I decided to make this simple recipe for dinner:

20 oz Tilapia
2 tomatoes diced
1 clove garlic minced
4 tbls bread crumbs
4 tsp Parmesan grated
2 tsp margarine
2 tsp lemon juice

Pre heat oven to 350 degrees. Place fish in non-stick dish. Combine ingredients. Divide onto each fillet. Bake for 15 minutes.

My mother has been making this delicious dish for years and I have seen her prepare it a zillion times, but I just did not inherit her cooking gene.

Today's cooking catastrophe started with dicing the tomatoes while talking on the phone. After ALMOST slicing my finger, I decided it was a good idea to end the conversation. Disaster avoided and onto the the next...

Premade bread crumbs do not exist in my home. The previous chef dried his own bread in order to make the homemade version. Thankfully, there is a chop chop tool thing that you put the bread under and after a few hits it makes crumbs. However, I would not recommend doing this by an open window with a breeze. The bread crumbs (as I learned today) easily blow off the counter and onto the floor. I will let you use your imagine to determine whether or not I made new ones.

Another fancy tool in the kitchen is a cheese grater with a handle just like in an upscale restaurant. I did not have grated cheese in the fridge, so this came in handy. It really should come with instructions. FYI: do not put the cheese into the hole. In there, it does not grate. You need to open the handle and put the cheese next to the blades, then it will snow out of the hole. This act lead me to sampling the Parmesan out of frustration. Thank you to my friend for giving it to me as a birthday gift. My birthday was last month...was that cheese still good?

Success of the Day: Realizing that I took my husband's culinary skills for granted and telling him he is appreciated

Pink Inspiration: My pink bottle of Hello Kitty perfume: just because you cook fish does not mean you need to smell like one

Popping the Costco Cherry

2011-03-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

I am a super warehouse virgin. I have never been a Sam's Club or Costco member. I used to spend my Sundays at Whole Foods and Target, putting anything I desired into my basket without thinking about the cost. With the recent events, I have been downsizing my lifestyle. My financial advisor reviewed our household budget. He was appalled at the money we spend on groceries and at Target.

Mission: To save money on groceries and household items without...

1) Giving up my all natural and organic pescatarian diet
2) Being hypocritical and going to Walmart ( I do not like the labor practices of Walmart as well as the amount of items imported from China)

My mother is a Costco card holder, so she took me on my first super warehouse adventure. My initial impression was not good. I was flustered just parking. There was a man directing traffic to the gas pumps because there was a line around parking lot to purchase gas for $3.44/ gallon. The parking lot was so full that we had to stalk members as they walked back to their vehicles.

Inside there was wall to wall people and items stacked from the floor to the ceiling. This was very overwhelming! I cannot forget to add the people fighting for 42lb bags of kitty litter that were on sale as well as the hoards of people grabbing and shoving one another for free samples. I laughed at the senior citizens hopping from food kiosk to food kiosk for a free strolling lunch.

I may not have enjoyed this experience, but I was amazed at the money I saved. The tub of greek yogurt that we buy every week was $5.99 versus $7.99. The price difference was worth only the 0% formulation being available instead of my usual 2%. Another weekly staple in my home is kalamata olives. I buy a small container from the olive bar for $7.99, but at Costco I purchased an industrial sized jar for the same price. I do think my mission was accomplished. Super warehouses may not have all the items I need, but I know that I can find a balance between Target, Costco, and Whole Foods in order to decrease the monthly budget of groceries and household items.

Success of the Day: Realizing that it is not the end of the world to give up small luxuries like the olive bar in order to save a few bucks

Pink Inspiration: Pink pajama pants on a female Costco member/ Ladies wear clothes to the store! You never know where the hidden cameras of the "People of Walmart" may be lurking.

Unemployment

2011-03-11T13:02:00.000-08:00

Jobs in MI Talent Bank: 37,770

Resumes in MI Talent Bank: 893, 119

With these statistics, it is not a surprise that I had to file for unemployment. However, I was surprised at how difficult this task was both emotionally and physically.

Emotionally: I felt like Hester Prynne from "The Scarlet Letter", except with the word "UNEMPLOYED" tattooed on my forehead. This label makes me feel like an unproductive member society, as if I am worth less than those who are employed. Rationally, I know this is not true. I just need to keep telling myself that unemployment is not spelled L-O-S-E-R.

Physically: The application process it not very easy. There is a 25 minute instructional video that reads the power point presentation to you. Then there are over 12 pages of questions to answer. I must admit that I struggled. I kept thinking that I have masters degree...what do those with less education do? Those with out the Internet? Those who have not kept good employment documentation? I am very fortunate that I was able to complete the application process. I feel sorry for those who are not as capable. This really put my self loathing into perspective.

Success of the Day: Being thankful for what I have

Pink Inspiration: Pink yogurt- I put pomegranate juice into my greek yogurt to add color and flavor/ I am thankful for breakfast, many people in MI are not as fortunate

Watching my Wheels Roll Away

2011-03-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

Perks of a company car: no car payment, no checks to an insurance company, a gas card, and best of all the decision on what kind of car to get is made for you

Downside of a company car: the car is taken away from you as a product of your downsizing

On this perfect rainy, cloudy, and gray cliche of day I watched my car drive away. My husband and I are now officially sharing his Challenger. We made this decision because:

not sure if my next job will include a company vehicle
unsure of new salary thus household car budget
can not justify the expense if I am not working

I must admit that I am peeved at a person close to us. They have an extra car that is just sitting in their garage. It is not a classic vehicle or a summer sports car...just a regular box on wheels. This individual will not loan us their car. Is this person selfish or am I for thinking they should help us out?

I am not in total despair. The snow is melting and I have a brand new bike in the garage. I ordered it on-line last summer. FYI: when you order a bike from the Internet it arrives in a box. My generous father put it together last year, but was unable to properly attach the chain and I never took it to a bike shop. In my effort to become more domesticated, I tried to fix the chain myself, and was unsuccessful. I also realized the handle bars are on upside down!

Success of the Day: Being financially responsible and sharing a car with my husband

Pink Inspiration: My old pink Pontiac Sunfire aka "Pinky"/ If a high school girl was bestowed a brand new pink car, then anyones' vehicle dreams can come true. R.I.P. " Pinky" 1996-2004

Adventures in Cooking

2011-03-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

While I was employed my husband did most of the cooking. He did this because 1) he got him from work at least an hour before me 2) I STINK at cooking. Now that I am home during the day, it is my turn to be lead dinner chef. HOWEVER, my famous escapades include:

Spinach Artichoke Dip: I used a wooden spoon in an active blender to mix the ingredients, the sharp blades destroyed the spoon and pieces broke off into the concoction, then I served this extra fiber dish at a holiday gathering
Paella: Rice is rice, right? This recipe called for some specific type, but I decided to use the rice in the pantry. This 30 minute recipe cooked for 3 hours as I waited for the liquid to absorb, but it never did. Paella soup anyone?
Eggplant Lasagna: My parents and sister were joining us for dinner. I wanted to try a low carb alternative to vegetarian lasagna that used eggplant to replace the noodles. Unfortunately, I sliced the eggplant too thick and did not cook it long enough. My poor family laughed as they ate raw eggplant.

Today's Adventure...Couscous with jalapeno: Chopped jalapeno. Washed my hands. Few minutes later rubbed my eye. Intense pain. Rinsed eye with water and patted dry with towel used to dry hands. DOUBLE intense pain!

Success of the Day: Not giving up at something that I am not good at

Pink Inspiration: I wore my favorite pink panties/ everyone needs a pair of underwear that makes them feel good about themself

Join me on my Journey

2011-03-08T21:58:00.000-08:00

I remember when the world was fabulous and I was happy simply because everything around me was pink. There was pink paint on the walls and plush pink carpeting in my bedroom, pink theme to my Strawberry Shortcake collection, my fashionable pink faux fur jacket, and even a pink bow on Hello Kitty's head. Now the world is cloudy and gray. In the past 12 months I have endured :

2 uterine surgeries
Hormone injections
Fact that I will more than likely not be able to carry a child to term
Anemia
Diagnosis of high blood pressure
Gaining of 20 pounds
Adult onset acne
Loss of a friendship that was over a decade and half
Terminal cancer diagnosis for my father-in-law
AND within the past few weeks...the LOSS of my JOB

My dear friend suggested that I journal and gave me a pink book for that task. However, when I tried to write in it, I had flash backs. I saw my 4th grade teacher making me tear up my poem that I poured my heart into because she thought that I had plagiarized. I winced as I remembered my 7th grade teacher accusing me of the same action. At that moment in middle school, I swore off writing FOREVER!. Hence, I could not journal as I had in the past, so I am trying my hand at blogging.

I welcome you to join me as I travel through this new journey of healing, becoming domesticated, reducing my lifestyle, and job hunting in this digital era. Together we will find pink in this gray world.

My promise to you is that every entry will include a successful reflection for the day and a pink inspiration. Let the laughs BEGIN!

P