Stroke of a Moment

The Massively Scalable People Sort

2010-08-04T23:58:00.000-07:00

In my life, which has neither been that long nor speckled with any momentous achievements, I've come to learn to apply a crude sorting algorithm on all things that live and breathe and cross my path. In no way are the results of the sorting process rigidly dichotomized or even conclusive, there's room for greys and other colors too. The sort is just a simple assessment that doesn't prejudice me towards any individual in particular. It has so far proven to be a pretty decent work-around for chugging along through life without anything or anyone having very much of an impact, except in the case of those that truly matter. And that's how it ought to be. Though, not a silver bullet, let me get on with my prolific essay on my personal codification of the human kind.

I look at all the people around and don't necessarily see a crowd, I see them as assorted elements of a very decent but really huge list. And then I apply my sorting algorithm to coerce them into some canonical form. Very scientific ? Lets see how and what conditions I would use to sort this motley bunch and what scientific reasoning, if any, I do apply.

There are the clingers, whiners, faraways, windbags and the unfortunate deadly fatheads. Anyone outside these constraints are pretty normal in my books. But, so are the 5 types above except, my sorting algorithm is biased to ensure they belong in the X-Files in my archives.

The clingers: Talk a lot, never leave or let go of their audience/hosts. Be warned, these folks usually have lots of free time and no one else to bank on either. However much you try to extricate yourself from them, the generous out pour untiringly persists.If you happen to be the quiet and indulgent listener, you've probably earned yourself a new best friend for life. You are also likely to come across several deja vu moments, where a certain trait, word or an attribute so strangely familiar to you seems to be taking shape in them. And, one fine day you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and scream in shock at the possibility of slowly & steadily getting cloned over harmless cups of coffee with this individual you've been kind to. The clingers aren't the bad sorts really, though, they do tend to demand your rapt attention, endurance and time. After all that, I don't feel very certain about the endowment, intellectually or emotionally. On the other hand, you may end up feeling a tinge of guilt for the fear of hurting them. Worth it ? Not so sure. Let 'em be ? I think so. Deaf ear ? Definitely !

The whiners: Oh those whiners ! I am certain your gray cells are already working hard trying to recollect that name in the back of your head - from school or college, a neighbor perhaps or a colleague maybe ? Yes, when the world seems just fine, the sky is that perfect blue, the sun shines and its spring time, trust a whiner come along cast a wintry spell. Ask a known whiner - "Whats up?" or worse "Whats wrong ? " and throw open the floodgates. They whine about everything, from their jobs, money, people, relationships, the food and even the air they breath. Now who's going to tell them that it ain't the best way to solve a problem.

The Faraways: .Yeah, they just lost me or did I lose them ? Nothing, nowhere, noone are adequate descriptions of their thoughts according to them. They appear lost to me or perhaps its genius that I fail to see.

The Windbags: They are an imperious lot ! And I am not being judgmental here. Every strategy of trying to approach them and conversing with them is an uphill job. They appear to know everything about everything there ever was or even that which wasn't. I once had the privilege of acquaintance with a rather curious and self-confessed polymath who could challenge a physicist, lawyer, musician, accountant, doctor, a gambler even, at their own game. He was fine perhaps.I felt like I didn't have the adequate proficiency or the intellectual ability to absorb so much on the account of being starved of such varied education. This is when I could fully understand a certain feeling called deprivation! Again, we read and absorb information of varied nature and diverse fields, we opine and have the freedom to opine. Do we command mastery ? Ask the windbag !

The Fatheads: I totally dread this last variety because I always feel like they feign the stupidity. C'mon, its hard to believe that the powers that be would mete out such grave injustice on a thus-far-known most evolved species. Unless they are better defined as an alien lot, at least then the utter and complete communication breakdown is justifiable. I am often told that its innocence, but kids are innocent too & they ain't stupid ! Everyone has the right to be stupid, I am stupid lots of times but I am not sure if I abuse it. Hence, I've come to the conclusion that most such cases particularly those of an abusive nature are feigned. Ever hear about - "Noble Cause Corruption"? I would personally like to suppress all evidences of feigned stupidity to help the Fathead and therefore myself !

If I think about it further, I guess all of us do have a sorting mechanism. As objective individuals ,we try to be above board and reserve our judgment most times and give folks a fair chance. That said, we do try and use our discretion for associating with some people more than we would with certain others. Then there is the consideration of intellectual and other shared interests, laws of attractions and then some.

This method or madness call it what you will, may appear as a twisted attempt to form inaccurate and perhaps even unwarranted judgments of otherwise perfectly normal people. Those in question have had their chance to speak, emote, answer and opine several times and continue to do so. They've not failed. My algorithm & I chose to apprehend them whilst I demonstrated my apprehension**, elementary, my dear Watson !

PS: To the powers that be, please hire me to sort out your crowd problems, so I can hang up my boots now ?

**Inspired by the recent Sherlock Holmes film & Downey Jr's. take on it.

4 Cs of bums !

2010-07-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

And you thought you could only grade diamonds based on the 4 Cs ? The bum enjoys the best & worst place in our life. As a random conversation item sometimes, or as an object of affection or for launching a surprise strike at other times, it certainly ain't a lady's best friend. The poor bum, as I will proceed to explain can make or break a woman's day and in turn prove to be pretty hard on the object of her outbursts !

Color: Irrespective of genetic make up your bum can be quite deceptive according to my so called trusted sources. Apparently, there are lots of magical products out there for being perfectly color coordinated with the rest of you ! Does it really even matter ? I mean, I would think that years of wear & tear of sitting on your own a*** would leave certain effects. Now I realize how that would be a dead give away for people who just sit on their a**** vs. people constantly on the move, like the proverbial wheat & the chaff innit ?

Complexion: The lesser said on this one the better. The all woman magazines don't spare anything to splash those even complexioned beauties in their summer bikini specials ! No expert comments here from me on this.

Contour: Now, if you were a qualified M.B.B.S(Member of the Big Bum Society) perhaps you'd appreciate the enormity of the problem ! An ample back side does pose some seating and silhouette issues. I won't even get started on the obsessive workouts to tone those gluteal muscles. The arduous process continues, thousands spent on limitless sessions with multiple trainers the glutes stay stubbornly there.
On the other hand, if you got lucky breaks in the films down south (in India) perhaps it'll help you retire early :).

Clothes: Ah yes ! The critical and perhaps the most important cover strategies stem from this C. Don't tell me you never look into a mirror side ways after you've worn those slim fit trousers and do a quick check on how your back looked ? Or wondered if the clothes are too tight, too lose, make you appear big or too small ? Should I pick a longer shirt or shorter one, a loser one or a tighter one ? Shopping for those perfect pants never was easy, the hips just made the challenge worse.

So..you've got it or you don't!

** The Essential Disclaimer:

The author doesn't subscribe to the values above and will forever be an indebted and happy M.B.B.S !
The author also feel that this post was instigated by a recent conversation & was meant in good humor ! Sorry if you think its ludicrous, unrealistic and plain stupid.
I have to change my trusted sources soon !

Pune..

2010-07-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

brings to me a flood of fond food memories, first. But I have to mention (atleast in passing ;) ) that the friends & tons of activities we managed to indulge with a generous sprinkling of travel, are cherished too. Of course, with me doing the talking..rather..writing, how can food not take a priority. Here are my top picks from Pune through my years there. Each time I go back, I manage to cover at least two on my favorite list.

Arthur's Theme, Malaka Spice and German Bakery
Marz-o-Rin - Their Zoom Sauce & Mayo are simply to die for with an unmatchable taste.
Zamu's were good at some point, I don't know now
Vaishali - even the water here is special for me :), and Vadeshwar in more recent times
Manmeet - their chaats are tops, hygiene...who cares
Dabeli wala outside Fergusson main gate
IMDR canteen (in the Fergusson College campus) - Double Special chai and street style Chinese food
Batata Vada wala near the rear gates of the college campus
More Batata Vada walas in various parts of town
La Pizzeria - I guess they are now owner of a Little Italy franchise, but it was a favorite haunt for the family about...a decade back(wow ! time does fly)
Then there is/was a little hole in the wall shop near an old old house on Fergusson College road that sold the most awesome samosas & patties. I need to find out if they still are around !
The rolls at Olympia - largely non-vegetarian but the vegetarian is fine, pretty nice
Sujata Mastanis - they serve superb milkshakes with every possible combination of fruits & dry fruit. You need to go on an empty stomach, have loads of love for all things fruity.
The multiple teashops - Amrutatulyas near Laxmi Road and another one memorable for me was opposite college
Garden Court atop a little hill in Chandni Chowk for the food and scenery on a rainy day
Fried ice cream - that we tried the first time ever in Panchshil
More recently I found East Street Cafe, Flags to be nice
Sigree, Bombay Brasserie on Dhole Patil Road
Thai & other asian food in Magnolia in Aundh, my backyard
Thousand Oaks, Sarjaa, Smokin' Joes from long ago
Nandu's parathas
Ramakrishna next to our school
Kayani's biscuits & cake are a must buy every visit
Shreyas, Shabri(unsure about how they spell it) and Mayur for their thaalis
Dorabjees for their assortment of delicious goodies
For sabudana khichdi it was Appa's near Deccan Gymkhana (I owe my pals for taking me here). For more on Appa, check out http://www.punelifestyle.com/appa_canteen.htm
Shiv Sagar, Kamat, 4 Seasons on the Aurora Towers top floor, Mirchi Kola at some point though briefly, were other haunts.
I remember all the little bakeries - Copper Chocs for their rum balls, Monginis for their savories, Baker's Basket for their cake
Budhani wafers (exclusively for their potato chips)
Then the numerous fancier places that we started frequenting later with great food but with no significant firsts or any memories attached.

I know I could go on & on with this list endlessly.

Pune for me goes beyond this list. Its about the culture, the architecture, its fantastic people and so much more. To me Pune epitomizes a lifelong celebration of life and a city of simple delights that anyone can cherish.

I so badly want a bite of Pune...NOW!

A sense of loss

2010-07-08T01:40:00.000-07:00

..currently plagues my mind. It conflicts with my tendency to dwell on practicality, logic and better sense. It is unnerving and almost unnatural yet so familiar, that I am about to or have to let go of something yet another time; something so close to my heart, something permanent, something that I took for granted. A sense of security and well-being snatched away from me. Then I grapple for words, for objects to give it more definition.]

an·chor
1. any of various devices dropped by a chain, cable, or rope to the bottom of a body of water for preventing or restricting the motion of a vessel or other floating object, typically having broad, hook like arms that bury themselves in the bottom to provide a firm hold.
5.a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security; mainstay: Hope was his only anchor.

There are only a handful of things I wanted to be permanent. Parents & their home were almost always on the top of the list as someone to fall back on and a place to go to. And however near or far I maybe, as the years progress, I've attached a sort of permanence to them.

I want a home to go to when I wish for it. A home that I made doesn't qualify the same way as the home that I sometimes wish to run to and has my parents, my pet, my books, my toys, my music, my pictures, all the familiar sights, sounds & smells that I can feel & touch even when I am not there ! Each precious moment that my parents have carefully preserved in photos, in every object that reminds them of us & reminds us of our growing up years all untouched and kept in the same places; the familiarity, associations, memories feel like they're being snatched away. Their decision to move is well planned & in the works for a while & yet I feel this void that can never be filled.

I know I can always travel & visit friends there but, it won't come as naturally as the feeling of "Yesss...I am going home!". I know there will never again be a countdown of the days left to get home, never again the strange sadness that sets in when you know you are leaving in a few days, the happiness of ringing the doorbell & seeing smiling & welcoming faces, the eagerness of squeezing in everything you love to eat & do in a few days and so much more.

I will gain, my parents will live next door. But, I feel a stronger sense of loss over a significant part of my life and time being lost, a 2nd time over! The home we set up, grew up in, a home so alive is suddenly going away never to be seen again!

I train myself to think the reverse - "They are coming home, finally !" And, I start counting down...for my loss or my gain ? Okay stop..be positive, be happy.

Indulgence is bliss

2009-05-19T03:01:00.000-07:00

Will she start..
Will she not ?
Will she start..
Will she not ?

Its a ridiculous mellifluous rhyme being met out to me by my dearest friend as she agonizes the waste of blog space.I just want to let her know I come by & for lack of words or lack of ideas I pass by too. Well my past effort really yielded zero output over the last several months, but if she keeps up that rhyme of hers...well I have little choice but to keep coming back here and keep the updates rolling.

The monsoon appears to have struck earlier this year relieving us of the dreaded burning heat of the summer. We've been indulging ourselves with huge cups of ginger chai and trying hard to avoid terribly calorific, hot & spicy fried pakoras. But, when is an Indian monsoon ever complete without the deathly kiss of the pakoras !

As the rain pitter-patters on my window & doesn't relent, my mind tells me to stay put & watch the rain pass by while the other me wants to savor the rains with...hmmm...And so we indulge again. Indulgence is bliss !

2009-02-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

Liken them to bra burning feminists or chaddi-chors ? Call 'em whatchya may they're a combination of Munna's Gandhigiri & women-activists-gone-bonkers. I completely understand & even empathize with the intentions & inspiration of the "pink chaddi" movement but I just wish the ladies were represented by better spokeswomen on the media who can rebuke clowns from the moral brigade in kind.

What lady in her right mind(like me of course ;) ) wouldn't love to enjoy a chilled sweating mug of beer in a pub that plays the perfect music on hot evening ...like today !

2009-02-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its so much more easier to just drop things the way they are when they come to a dead halt and start afresh. Like this classic example of my blog. The internet does offer the luxury of anonymity despite the advantage of shrinking the world into a lil' window ! But...I'd rather pick up this thread where I left it off & accept the challenge of being a little more regular & even disciplined and keep jotting 'em gazillion thoughts !

A year's a long long time. The world's essentially changed all around us with the global financial crisis, the US electing the first-ever African American president, the Chinese quake, the summer Olympics and how can I not include the profligate Mr.Raju. Beyond this worldly wisdom, we have the Doc surging to new highs & a soon-to-be-married kid sister, whirlwind trips to roads less traveled by yours truly, happily pregnant friends, new mommies with their very cute lil' ones & of course some interesting developments at work. Like I said, picking up the threads, has definitely more meaning plus in the case of this poor abandoned blog space, has definitely tons of more meat in it!

2008-01-29T01:15:00.000-08:00

We drove down to Mahabalipuram on one of the weekends. This was one of the many roadtrips we've undertaken over the last 3 months or so. We stopped at the Crocodile Farm on the way for a short while to see the reptiles.

This fellow just sat there, basking in the sun with his mouth wide open.

And they were simply adorable...

Especially this lil' one and...

I simply adored the smile on her pretty face !

Why English is sooo BAD ??

2007-09-05T05:53:00.001-07:00

So my sister's finally finished her dissertation and has moved to Bangalore to work. Having been apart for a long time, we were catching up and one of those conversations took us back to good ol' Sacred Heart School in Jamshedpur. We suddenly remembered a poetry recitation competition she'd participated in as a little girl and actually penned down the entire poem after Google returned a zilch!! And so here goes:

Lil' Sister begins reciting: Why English is So BAD?

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.

I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
If I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

If the singular is this and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be named kese?

Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose;

We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!

So our English, I think, you all will agree,
Is the craziest language you ever did see.

Milky Mo(o-v-e)ments!!

2007-08-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Shot this one in Goa. It was amazing to watch the bovine heap move all together from one end of the street to the other, horns, hooves, calves, tails, flies and and all !!

2007-08-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

I left the title blank for not wanting this to be yet another one of those "yipeee...I am back" posts. So what did I do all this time.

We did really take a very well deserved and long awaited vacation to Goa. A day of some rain and three wonderful days of sunshine combined with the lots of free flowing and inexpensive yet great liquor and food by the Arabian Sea was extremely fun and well very fun!!
I finally managed to get our living room spruced up with some new and wonderfully colorful plump cushions and cant help gloating at this accomplishment :)
Long conversations over the endless cups of good tea on dull rainy weekends are always so perfect, though only next to great evenings with good food and wine and merry making with great company !
Watched a few very forgettable movies that I would not even care mentioning !
Finally, got to my blog and approved the comments :) and have posted my replies :)

B'lore traffic "rules"

2007-07-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am not going to be claiming that I am back with the "bang"(Lore...pssst the "d" was silent)!! So much for a pathetic joke.
Well, the last couple of weeks were spent over-hearing some interesting "expert" advice on the golden rules that prevail while driving in Bangalore. Two of our colleagues who've recently moved to India finally acquired the much dreaded liabilities - their cars. These wannabe 4-goody-tyres are truly the bane of this very over-burdened city. Its a pain driving around the streets of this place. You not only have poor & hazardous roads to drive on but you also have to bear the brunt of non-existent lane discipline, extremely rude drivers, completely bizarre traffic management "officials", terribly egoistic public transport drivers and...Jeez!! the list is endless. If you are smart enough though you could get by just fine, just like all those others who get along perfectly.

Heres some precious piece of overheard advice if you want to drive in Bangalore.

If you're a woman and you're a driver, be certain that you will curse the day the treacherous and quintessential "Y" jilted you ! Be bold, brazen and well truly forget femininity and all those associated niceties/jazz around that.
Buy your car but please ensure it does not look really new(meaning get those initial bumps and scratches for the effect...) the moment you hit the streets, you would've earned a few brownie points and respect of the other drivers!
Forget about your recent splurge at the dentists for a polished & cleaned set of teeth. Forget the fact that your smile makes you look nice and happy. You will never regret it. Start your day by gritting your jaws, bring on the frown and acid on your tongue and fire away with aggression. Once you reach your destination, you will know that your efforts paid off. Smile to your hearts content. A frown everyday will brighten your day!!
Get rid of both those rear view mirrors or keep them shut-in. Shocking but true...they are pretty much considered expensive and truly unwanted "accessories". I have never however managed to get rid of this horrid addiction to my rear view mirrors. Apart from looking all the way around when I turn to make sure my "blind-spots" don't deceive my vision. I really have to turn "cold turkey" on this terrible terrible vice. Well, what do they say about "when in Rome...."?
When in need HONK and HONK and HONK again. The louder the better and the more frequently you use it you will be sure to rule the streets.Oh! and you must try the latest in the market, they're now the louder than ever before. This nasty noise maker is sure to dissolve all your traffic woes. It doesn't matter if the decibel levels cannot be tolerated by the minutest of living beings. But if you're going this route remember deafness is also here to stay. The deafer you are the better off you are!!
If its a one-way street towards the north today, beware; it is likely to be one-way towards the south tomorrow. So please do drive in the opposite direction on a one-way street, it will pay off. Also, if theres a cop watching, please ignore him he doesn't know a thing at this point you simply jump to #10 below !!
Perhaps the driving school taught you how to use your indicators. But remember just as you did learn lots at college but had to unlearn and re-learn everything in your first job, kick your driving-school teacher hard on his/her backside. They never taught you the right the thing at all. Heres how you do it here. If you want to turn to the right:

Indicate about a mile in advance, remember do not turn off the indicator,
Stay on the extreme left side of the road, especially when you happen to drive a huge trailer/truck/bus,
The moment you arrive at your turn, just swish your wheels to the right and cut across like the Atlantis.
Disadvantage: You need to be prepared for lots of unparliamentary language and actions, Advantage:You have your way and feel realllllly "Godly"..And its the whole feel good factor - you're sooo smart & cool & superior, you freaked out fifty others around you and fooled them didn't ya!

Ensure you get fancy tail lights/parking lights/reverse lights on your vehicle, in a manner that they flash very fancily and all together irrespective of whether you're driving at night/hitting the brakes/reversing; its a cool, slick, trick! Oh you wicked devil you...you really got them this time didn't you?
You've probably heard of headlights and perhaps know how & when to use them.Simpletons like yours truly, use them at nights/fogs/rains and in the low beam. We poor folks were also taught to flash them to overtake/warn other drivers. But hey guess what I learnt today...you're supposed to install halogen/fluorescent lamps and drive on a high beam especially when you site someone coming in the opposite direction in a poorly lit street. Thanks! I now know what "Zap" means and can articulate "dazzled" really well.
Here are a few final aces.

Get some awful looking bumper stickers with devils/skulls/charging bulls and lots of messages painted sort of like "Oh evil-eyed one, may you face be blackened!*" OR "Himmat Hai To Side Se Nikal, Warna Bardasht Kar**" OR socially meaningful ones that promote birth control "we one ours one/two***";
Overtake from the wrong side
Be really quick to show your hand in a very offended manner to every passer-by whether or not there was a problem. Believe me you will scare them away.
Finally, remember you are always right !! Just drive straight and focus only on your getting to your destination before everyone else. Do not, I repeat, do not look around you under any circumstances, other drivers are obviously responsible for their own lives even if they get hit; after all they need to watch and drive carefully ! Didn't they come in the wrong direction ?

*Popular bumper stickers on trucks in India:

*Oh boori nazar wale tera mooh kala - This one wards off the "evil-eye" a popular superstition
**Himmat Hai To Side Se Nikal, Warna Bardasht Kar - If you have guts, overtake me or tolerate me
***Hum do humare ek/do - a family planning message, preaching to couples to have either one or 2 kids only

All this is very good & interesting, but the overwhelming factor is that it appears on really monstrous, scary and broken down trucks/trailers!!

On a loss...

2007-06-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

It is so strange how much an unexpected loss impacts you.So strong, as to make you question your present state of existence. Everything that you once had and always took for granted is not even there any more. Its scary how that one loss could completely turn your world upside down, so much so that nothing else matters any more. Every philosophy & every word of wisdom then just doesn't make much sense. Somehow, a loss always provokes a train of thought that enlightens you on the wasted moments and what you could have done better or done right or it makes you wish you'd simply done something more. You even know that this realization & the loss is going to fade away in a few moments(hours/days/months/years) from now never to be spoken of again in the same tone of dejection & deprivation !

As they sing on, I've always known what they sang was true but it hits home harder now...in moments like these.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
Its good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

The "blessed mangalsootra"

2007-06-07T03:42:00.000-07:00

By a strange twist of fate...perhaps "good luck" I found my match in the Doc. Luckily for us, the few days of struggle to convince my folks to accept our decision to be married was easy; and we guess it was easier since we both happened to belong to the same Hindu Brahmin (GAWD!) background !! To give due credit, my folks really had practical concerns but that is a thing of the past...and boy am I glad !!

Marriage, as I gradually realized has its own trappings and external symbolisms when it comes to facing certain types in the family. The mangalsootra is quite literally "the knot" thats tied around the bride's neck in most Hindu weddings. Its the symbol of being a married woman, who then struts around with it proudly until the day she dies. Except, what happens is that this already heavy gold string keeps getting heavier with the years as gold coins, beads, corals & other knick-knacks in the name of some faith/numerology/tradition/astrology/blah...keep getting added on; all this is apart from the safety pins & keys that are hung on it for convenience!! Bottom line the neck-thingy is precious(some rocket science that...it is gold!!), symbolises goodwill, is something holy and is the suhaag ki nishaani**.

WARNING FRET HERE:[Wonder why something like this never imposed on men folk around. They could straddle themselves with some fat gold chain with representations of their wives/some holiness/family in some form or other and put it out on public display for the world to know. So much for that wannabe feminist crap !!]

Anyway, the simple fact is I hate wearing too much jewelry more so anything around the neck except for the rare silver trinket that I have a passion for and the problem starts here.

Scene of crime 1: Nani's house ( she lives a few kilometers away from my own place). Enter grand-daughter with a wide necked tee and a very visible neck with an invisible mangalsootra. For nani "married woman = bindi + mangalsootra".
Nani's effusive welcome and happy face turns into varied hues of anger and disappointment and she strikes the final blow in those short 30 seconds "Where's your mangalsootra ?" So all I could do initially is look sheepish. This sheepishness progressed to irritation, anger and finally its settled. Some scheming & cheating worked for this one. This little strand of gold now has found its place in the cozy nooks of my handbag. Its sees the light of day and feels the warmth of my skin only when nani is around and when I wear a wide necked top. Most days I settle for a closed neck tee and anyway cheat on her because the sly little thing can never be spotted!

Scene of crime 2 : Visits to the mother-in-law ( about 4 or 5 times a year for a couple of days!!)
My M-I-L is a lady of strong tradition. She is a very religious and devout lady.But with all that she is one of the sweetest individuals I have come across in a long long time and I genuinely adore her. Then again, as with my dear old nani there are some things that I can never get away with. For nani its just the neck thingy, for m-i-l its the mega equation "married woman = bangles+bindi+toe-ring+neck thingy" !! The folks who know me will realize what trauma I have to go through. Well to my chagrin...I have given up trying to counter it and actually spend the few days with the in-laws quite happily and gracefully(talk about an adarsh bahu).Poor Doc he understands but he's also been at the receiving end of all my annoyance. So there I am strutting my stuff for 10 days a year for the eyes-of-you-know-who to see.

Grand Finale

Doc & me arrive at our destination
Rush for handbag
Scramble through usual mess (usually empty contents onto back seat)
Shove toe-rings into the toes
Shove bangles on one hand (thank you Dearest Watch on the other)
Position mirror, painstakingly remove sticker bindi, place on forehead
Rush into elevator
Arrive at the door while getting the noose(the mangalsootra) around neck
Ring doorbell
Walk in with the grace of...well lets leave that unsaid

This situation has played itself over several times over the last two years. While I've progressed to wearing all the jazz for the eyes of those can't help but notice their absence.So now my handbag is burgeoning with objects I absolutely don't care for or need( 1 little ziploc bag comprising 2 bangles+ 1 set of the tiniest red bindis + pair of silver toe-rings + 1 gold neck thingy). I can't help feeling a little awkward that I am cheating with it. Chuck it all !! I really can't help it. So now my handbag is burgeoning with objects I absolutely don't care for or need( 2 bangles+red bindis+pair of silver toe-rings + 1 gold neck thingy). As the "lingo" goes...I am like that only !! :)

**Suhaag ki nishaani: Suhaag literally means good fortune. Here it means the symbolism of being married which is the "ultimate good fortune"(only in case of women anyway...grrrr....)

PS: The Doc is kind to me. He says I have a "good, caring" heart (lashes aflutter) and I care and love my folks hence this (mis)step!! Thanks Doc...I am plain happy to know that we know we're married to one another :)

Pardonable sin ?

2007-06-03T09:18:00.001-07:00

The much promised snap and a sinfully wonderful...sin ?

Nerdy...Me?

2007-06-01T02:43:00.000-07:00

Quick Chocolate Cake

2007-05-28T02:47:00.000-07:00

Simply delicious and very simple too. This is a lovely eggless cake recipe that my mum has been experimenting with since we were little kids. Till date this is the best homemade cake I've ever had. Here is your chance to test your baking skills even without requiring to bake. Yes...this is a 5 minute microwave recipe for a no bake yummy cake !
Ingredients:
1 cup of refined flour
1/2 cup of butter/vegetable oil
1 1/2 tsps of baking powder
6 tbsps of cocoa
1 tsp of vanilla essence
1/2 tin of condensed milk
1/2 cup of milk
2 tbsps sugar if the condensed milk is sweetened or 6 - 8 tbsps if unsweetened( smaller quantities of natural sugar substitutes are also good here for the calorie conscious)

Method:
Sift the cocoa, flour and baking powder. Beat the butter/oil with the sugar till fluffy. Add the condensed milk, milk and vanilla and beat well. Gently fold in the flour mixture to this. Grease a medium sized microwaveable cake dish and pour this mixture. Microwave on high for 4 to 5 minutes and test with a knife so it comes out clean. Note that the cake rises quickly and pretty high so use a deep dish.
Once done set aside to cool, cut 'em up and dig in !!

My favorite serving suggestion is a generous slice of this cake/any chocolate cake is with some vanilla icecream topped with raspberry sauce.

PS: Will upload a snap in this space soon. I had to capture this while mum was around :)

Boombai Chutney....what?

2007-05-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

The Doc & I had our usual long days. While I sat pondering on the usual "what do we have for dinner ?" question, the Doc expressed his craving for "Boombai Chutney".

Doc: I feel like eating "Boombai Chutney"!
Wife: Errrr "Booo...." what?
Doc: Well...my mum makes it and its delicious, I feel like eating it with rotis.
Wife: Okay...lets call your mum and ask her how its done.

We made the one last phone call of the day(while I am about to faint from my hunger pangs...), the ingredients are called out she spoke of the basic seasoning and the word besan*....Thats when it occurred to me that it was nothing but "Pithla" !! Jeepers...the mysterious "Boombai Chutney" is "Pithla". This is a very basic, humble but very tasty concoction prepared in Maharashtra. After having lived in Pune for 10+ years...surely the Pithla has not escaped the ever craving foodie in me! Pithla is typically had with bhakris** all over the state of Maharashtra, I relish it with rotis while hubby likes a more liquid consistency with pooris, its pretty simple and makes for a nice quick meal. You could skip the rotis/pooris and stick to some rice or bread. So here I am with a first truly official post on my recipe.

Total Cooking Time: Between 10 & 15 minutes
Ingredients:
1/2 to a 3/4 cup of Gram Flour/Besan*
1 large Onion - finely chopped
2 or 3 small sized fresh tomatoes cut into cubes
1/2 tsp turmeric powder
1 tsp Cumin Seeds
3/4 tsp Coriander Powder (I ran out of fresh coriander/cilantro and used this as a substitute. Roast some coriander seeds and grind it to a fine powder, I just pick a box off the shelf from the local grocers.)
1/2 tsp Mustard Seeds
2 medium/long green chillies split lengthwise in two (you could add more per your taste)
Some Curry Leaves
1/4 to 1/2 tsp Asafoetida (powder)
1 tsp ginger-garlic paste
Some water & a little vegetable oil ( 1 tsp should do)

Method:
Preheat a pan on medium heat for 3 to 4 minutes and roast the gram flour until you smell the aroma and the sort of raw smell of the flour is gone. A couple of minutes on a heated pan should do. Remove and set aside. Add enough water to this to get a free flowing paste without lumps.

Add a teaspoon of oil in the pan and heat it a little. Add the mustard seeds. As they start to splutter, add the cumin, curry leaves and green chillies till its just about done spluttering(don't let the curry leaver/green chillies turn brown). Add the ginger-garlic paste, the powdered coriander seed & asafoetida and stir a bit. Add the chopped onion and saute until the onion and the smell of raw garlic fades away. Add the turmeric and the paste prepared earlier.

Stir constantly on medium heat until the mixture starts to thicken and little bubbles start to appear and burst on the surface( you could add a little water while stirring if it turns too thick). Take off from heat, garnish with freshly chopped coriander/curry leaves and serve hot with rice, rotis, pooris, bread or bhakri.

*Besan - Roasted gram flour
**Bhakri - Flat bread made of millet/sorghum/maize flour

Phulka and Pithla meal for 2

The much relished first mango of the season !!

On a progressive regression

2007-05-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

Its all over the news and continues to be a much debated subject even today. For a city that boasts of being The Technology Hub for India and attracting eyeballs worldwide, this appears to me as regressive. I support the school of thought that emphasizes the importance for mid-long term residents of a place to respect and make an honest attempt to understand its culture and live in harmony with it. This is more so for kids who need to cultivate relationships at school, fit in and therefore need to understand the language as well. However, it is shocking that the government has taken steps that would deprive 100,000 little children of a decent school education and a potentially bright future. Why ban a global language at all when development seems to lie in the hands of an increasing global economy? Closing schools that do not teach in the native tongue but in English based on a OMG-I-forgot-that-it-existed mandate is unpardonable. Regressive seems like an understatement. The reasons for such mandates are many, to me some of them appear well thought out, some of them rather fanatical. This kind of thinking seems to create a further divide in an already fractured society. Politicos and government reps do nothing to alleviate the already festered wounds of the ordinary citizens.

There have been more than one occasions where we have been subjected to vilification by strangers on the street & autorickshaw drivers for the traffic/pollution and the numerous civic problems that plague any growing city that in its current state cannot support the burgeoning population and the boom in the economy. Being "outsiders" of the state have brought us several pains, but beyond that, being part of the prosperous and booming technology industry here seems to a punishable offense ! This may appear rather cynical, but we also love the city and face the same problems on our way to work, in shops, markets and everyday nothings. I think tolerance is something that has faded away with development.

I am sure that these peaceful folks who continue brooding over the long gone glory of the Garden City must feel tortured but I wish they'd wake up and pick the real fights to fight !

The memoirs of a dying blog ?

2007-05-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Well, did I ever live a full life anyway? I lived a patchy life with an occasional update. There was probably nothing more to say about the monotony of the life and times of the owner of this blog. (Does anyone want to know what she ate for breakfast? ). Hence, its a slow & boring death. By the way, there seem to be signs of a come back, some signs of light at the other end of this tunnel of the mundane.
Nothing like yet another sequel of same old-same old stuff.Yeah right!! Hrrmph...lets see what else she would have to say?

2007-04-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

She stood on the bus stop after a day of grueling work at the lab. Unaware of the city and its people, she waited and looked on for her ride back home. The loud conversations, blaring horns, black smoke, hawkers shouting ... everything was irritating.

Suddenly, someone tapped her shoulder.
Someone: "Look thief!"
She: "Uhuh !"
Someone: "She's got a bag and a cellphone !"
She: "Uhuh !"
Someone: "Ma'am, its yours!!"
She: "Ok!....Errr what..."

And then she took off as fast as she could. Chasing the thief to get back her belongings. They weaved in and out little queues, ran around buses, jumped over garbage and finally she caught the thief by her hair, smacked her across her cheek and grabbed her things. The others looked on. She looked at her thief again, the thief had nothing but a look of desperation and a little child in her arms. She let her go. She looked around once more, they just kept looking at her.

2007-04-18T02:01:00.000-07:00

Participated in the "Treasure Hunt" at work today. We Won! We Won! We Won!

2007-04-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

Watched "Bheja Fry" over the weekend. The theme is based on the French film Le Diner De Cons . Though a lift, its well executed. Its a refreshing change without the usual loud and lewd "comedy" that seems to be the key ingredient for Hindi comic films these days(weirdos and creepy lookalikes!)

I would recommend watching it at least once and enjoy some good humor.

A rhyme for a reason...

2007-03-22T23:45:00.000-07:00

Over a cup of coffee she spoke,
What she said left me provoked.
I am looking hard and searching for words,
To express myself and be heard.
There are a bunch of thoughts in my head,
I carry them each day to bed.

She spoke not of worry, not joy , not pain;
I'd rather classify them as being mundane.
Sometimes we're so consumed with life,
It seems a silly, almost a senseless strife.
A few simple questions I have for you,
A quest for their answers will help you too.

When did you last see the colors of dawn,
As it spreads its wings when you wake each morn?
Did you walk in the woods or walk by the sea,
Feel the sands shift beneath your feet?
Did you climb a hill and touch the skies,
Or lie on the grass gazing at a starry night.

The kiss of the breeze, the tingling rain,
Smells of spring, the white winter terrain,
Seasons have come and gone again,
You're standing here with your refrain.
When did you call on a long lost friend,
And went to shop with no money to spend?
Did you feel the passion for a deed so true,
And stood your own to fight for a good?
Have you laughed hard in a long long time,
Jumped in joy, sailed on cloud nine?
When did you last want time to stand still,
Or admire a bird on your window sill ?

You've missed so much in so little a time,
You've had no reason to rant and whine.
Its what you've chosen to become and be,
You live with it or set yourself free.
You've lost some friends, some loved ones too,
Don't rant more lest you lose me too.
When you've thought and pondered come speak to me,
I am a happy person and that's how I'll be.
There are wonderful things I would love to recall,
The world's fantastic don't spoilt it with your bawl.

Holi

2007-03-05T03:51:00.000-08:00

Madame & Monsieur M(friend from days of yore) & S invited us to a Holi party they were hosting in their home and it was probably one of their last parties for the moment. They're moving out of the country and it will a few years before we meet again I guess. As usual, since the Doc was away, the Doc's wife was at play :).

Its been years since we enjoyed holi in this scale. With the years, our consciousness both in terms of safety and the environment has increased so we had eco-friendly colors*. To reassure ourselves that the colors would not leave horrid stains on our skin, we applied huge quantities of oil in the hope of abating a "mass scare**" at work the following day when colleagues sight us.

So, we finally started playing, poured buckets of wierd colored water on each other, rubbed hues of reds/yellows/greens/purples/silver and gold colored powders and pastes on one another for 2 hours. In the meanwhile, S was enthusiastically serving thandai and sugarcane juice to quench our thirst and keep the energy levels high. What he forgot(or intentionally did not) to mention was that...the yummy yet confounded concoctions he stirred up was actually laced(and laced being an understatement) with bhaang. The party planners appeared to have had a well thought out strategy for maximizing fun and guest retentions.
There was of course lunch to follow and we'd organized a potluck with some dahi bhalla(from me), a lamb preparation(by M),hot and delicious jalebis, samosas(thanks to some one else) and some veggies for likes of the vegetarians like me and so the menu ran.

After a lot of boisterous and noisy fun, we'd almost scrubbed off huge chunks of skin to get rid of the color. Then we began gorging on some really hot and yum jalebis. The intelligent few (like me who else !!) avoided stuffing ourselved because we knew that bhaang and jalebi*** together are the last two things you would want in your system i.e. if you want to stay awake, keep up your decent or at least half decent behaviour and drive home safely to the comforts of your own bed. So we had a couple of giggly wives, galumphing husbands and a dog in psychedelic colors going beserk in the noon heat on an open terrace. Anyway, I managed to drive back home in one piece and hit the sack around the time that the bhaang started kicking in. It was a nice day of fun and cheer.

I must appreciate M&S, they really had their act together. I have a couple of years to plan the perfect revenge on them, can't wait until we meet again

*I would seriously question their "safety". I thought natural colors are always pleasing to the eye but these just managed to appear horrendously pink...but the packaging said that they were safe for kids and the environment. We definitely did not want the little ones joining the fun to be hurt in anyway.

**God forbid!! Especially since our appraisals due shortly (tee.. hee..we could not help giggling imagining our boss' horror-stricken expression).I had already thought of covering up my feet in socks inspite of the rising temperature in Bangalore.

***Bhaang and jalebi in that combination can really get you flighty and fighting for stability. Its a pleasant kick of sorts that can have others laughing but you crying for hours on end...