Stubborn Fool

When Good Mechanics Go Bad

2012-02-07T07:25:00.000-05:00

I love the Mile End neighbourhood in Montreal. I have been hanging out in "the hood" for over twenty years. My friends live(d) here, I lived nearby in Little Italy. I frequented the coffee shops, restaurants, parties, celebrations and boxing club.

Mile End, Montreal

Mile End has changed quite a bit since I started hanging around in the area. Rents haven't been cheap for 15-20 years, but the price of a condo or house has sky rocketed in the last ten years. Poor artists, students and unemployed bohemians have been replaced in part by the employed and the hipsters. Business vacancies have become the exception rather than the rule. And cars now fill up the streets.

For the last fifteen years I would fill up my car at the Ultramar service station at the corner of St. Laurent and Bernard. It is a full service gas station with a team of mechanics. The pump attendants were always friendly and courteous.

Even with the increase in the number of vehicles, the station lost much business to the new mega Petro Canada gas station and quick stop. Always one to support the mom and pop shop over the mega-brand, I was happy to go to this Ultramar station to fill up.

I never used the garage but had only heard positive comments. Well, live and learn.

Cafe Olimpico "ODN", Mile End

On my recommendation my girlfriend took her car to the this formerly trusted garage. Georges looked at the car and quoted her over $500, plus labour to replace the gas pump. Excuse me? A new pump is $250 at most, a rebuilt or used pump is $60.
So good old Georgie-Porgie yelled at my girlfriend, insulted her, and hung up on me when I called to find out what happened.

Old Georges has had the garage for 30 years. He told me he does not care what I tell people. So Georges, here I am calling your bluff. If 500 people read this story, if I tell another 50 people, and if four people stop filling up at your pump, and one person stops getting their car tuned at your station, I will be satisfied.

Georges, you fucked up and I will tell everyone. The coffee shop is a good starting point. I will let everyone at Olimpico know, and spread the word.

I thought of different ways of dealing with this.
Go pay Georges a visit. Not worth it.
File a complaint with Ultramar. Not worth the time.
BBB? Association of mechanics? CAA? All take time and has to be done in writing.
I could go to the station, use the bathroom and take a dump on their floor... hmm...

I hate bullies. I break bullies. The guy lied, he overcharged, he bullied, he was rude and to make matters worse, he may be crazy. So, as a consumer you say let's call it a day, I'll pay the 80 bucks for the hour he claimed to have looked at the car and walk away.

I will continue to service my car at the Canadian Tire on St. Laurent in Little Italy. I have always received excellent mechanical service there. And for fill-ups, either Canadian Tire or Petro Canada.

In the end the the car was towed to a different garage. The new mechanic is charging $45 to fix the car. A fraction of the $500 Georges wanted to charge. And I rest my case.

So, if four people I tell stop using the gas pump, that's $200 in lost revenue every 7-10 days. And $7000-$10,000 per year. At the very least the $1600 I spend on gas in a year will be spent elsewhere. Just because Georges was an asshole.

More Funny Quotes

2012-02-04T15:34:00.001-05:00

I am a little late publishing this list. It is a summary of the best tweets, quotes and status updates of the last few months of 2011. Speaking of which you can follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, feedburner... click the buttons to the right. August was a busy month. I will put out a best of 2012 in a couple more months. You can find my other funny quote lists here and here.

Well, I've eaten all of my work snacks so now I hate it here.
@AlisonAgosti April 2011

“My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said 'Just wait.'”
Judy Tenuta unknown date

My Wife brings me so much joy...
Sorry typo, Wifi.
@PatheticPaul May 2011

My favorite Armenian-American reality show? "Keeping Up with the Kevorkians!" But every episode had the same ending.
Mo Rocca August 2011

To celebrate Shark Week I'll be attacking surfers then claiming I mistook them for harbor seals.
@DaveSFoley August 2011

I don't want to complete you - I want you to come complete.
@SarahKSilverman August 2011

Next step in my being an amazing husband/father: reading aloud to my children. They love James Michener.
@michaelianblack August 2011

You lost me at "You had me at..."
@clarkekant August 11

I just want people to accept me for who I pretend to be.
@yoyoha August 2011

If we had gender equality we'd ALL give birth through our ass. And no more Men from Mars and Women from Venus, everyone would be from Uranus.
@dietredbull September 2011

If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's kinda like saying, "this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer."
@bazecraze September 2011

"The secret to happiness is giving up all hope of a better past."
Anonymous

I'm planning to go around Yom Kippur services telling women, "I'm hungry... FOR LOVE"
@ApocalypseHow October 2011

The thing I like most about sex is the vagina part.
@wrongorange October 2011

Apparently Kim Kardashian realized that she was married to someone who would marry Kim Kardashian.
@cornlog October 2011

How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there. I've killed like fifteen zombies already. Why are they all carrying candy?
-Anonymous Halloween Facebook status update October 2011

So...on Monday do we all go back to hating each other?
@joshwolfcomedy Christmas Eve

Stay tuned for more funny quotes, comments, updates of 2012.

Things I don't like (as much... anymore)

2012-01-28T22:50:00.007-05:00

OK, ok, I'm riffing on Mr. O'hara's previous post. So sue me. No, don't. Please?

So here it is, full confession: things I have discovered in my middle aging that I no longer have as much "like" for as I did in my younger days. Which admittedly is not that long ago.

1. NHL hockey. Yes, I am STILL a pretty big Habs fan. But four things have now mitigated my once-intense love for this game. First: Concussions concussions and the very unfortunate habit of those with concussions to suffer devastating life challenges moving forward from said concussions. Second: My three children. All of whom I hope never want to play contact hockey. See? Four things. Now Go Habs Go!

Chicken Wings

2. BBQ Chicken wings from restaurants like Buffalo Bills, Wild Wing and everyone else who makes chicken wings. Heartburn! When the hell did I start getting heartburn? Lately. So no more chicken wings. Or take-out pizza. Or KFC (yes, technically chicken wings territory, but still.) Where's the Pepto?

Jazz

3. Jazz. I think I used to like it more when I was young, because it was supposed to be "cool" and "not rock". But you know, I just don't get it. Well, except for Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue". That shit's the shit.

4. If you're from Montreal, you know Premier Moisson breads. And man, I used to love those baguettes like Tim Tebow loves Jesus. But lately, living the last seven years in Toronto (where we do have access to Premier Moisson breads) I gotta say, I think there's better. Namely, Ace Bakery baguettes. Awesome!

5. Crappy classic rock stations. I was listening to Q107 here in the Big Smoke yesterday and I turned on the station three times during the day. I swear, I heard "The Logical Song" each time. That's not cool. I used to like that song. I'm sure the same crap happens on classic rock stations all over the place, including beloved CHOM FM with a renewed, slimmed-down Terry DiMonte. Yes, I'm well aware that classic rock is no longer being made, because it was all made back in the classic age of rock. But GEEZ! Guys, start playing more "deep cuts" from albums or something, it's becoming so... fucking... repetitive.

6. Mondays.

7. Facebook. Yes, it still is my essential reminder of all my friends and acquaintances' birthdays and I get the occassional tidbit of news or interesting video post from someone's update. But with this new Timeline function set to take over all our accounts, I just can't be bothered as much anymore. Zuckerberg, figure out a way to re-coolify your little program. It's gettin' stale.

8. Coffee Crisp. Just lost the taste for it. Don't know why.

9. Endless blog lists.

Here endeth the lesson. What say you?

Things I Like

2012-01-27T21:19:00.001-05:00

Here is a list of things I like. I took this idea from Bif Naked's blog. (Her site has been down and under construction for a while). These are things I like, things for which I am grateful.

Hope you get the things you like. What do you like?

a big bowl of spoon sized shredded wheat
my second beer (IPA or Stout)
surprising people with a funny line
Back in Black
the second day of a long weekend
writing
health
early Tom Waits
hitting the heavy bag
driving in the dark of night on an empty highway
drawing
fresh towels
mountains - hiking them and viewing them
sitting on the beach in the shade with a cold beverage
a ride on my bike
peaches
glass of water
clarity
solitude
the company of good friends
jeans and a t-shirt
a great book
finding the truth
coffee
Coltrane
trivia
telling stories
my girlfriend
summer

Driving in the dark of night on an empty highway

Travelling A Broad - I mean Abroad

2012-01-21T18:21:00.000-05:00

Beautiful Beaches

The problem I have with vacations is that once I book I want to immediately depart. As in, right now! I have booked my trip and six weeks is a long time to wait. I am ready to start packing. Even though it is six weeks away, I want to go to the car and sit in it until it is time to leave for the airport. First things first. I have to get organized and figure out what I need. So, this is how I get organized for my trip.

Can't wait to hit this beach

Make a list. Everything starts with a list. Where are you going? How many days? What activities will you need to dress for? Check.
Find a travel partner. Preferably of the opposite sex and of the hot variety. Check, check and check.
Ensure your passport has not expired. After my failed attempt to travel to New York for New Year's, my new passport has finally arrived. Check.
Do you have clothes to wear? A bathing suit? Sunscreen? Do an inventory of your summer (or winter) gear. Check.
Find a suitcase...
Consult the country travel report for the place of destination. Check for weather, crime, or health concerns. Canadians click here. Americans can click here. Both sites are useful to everyone. Check.
It is recommended that you register with your government when travelling abroad. See the above links. Registering makes it possible to contact a traveler if necessary, whether because of a family emergency at home or because of a crisis in the place the traveler is visiting. It is a free service.
Get your shots. Hep A and Hep B and Tetanus. Booster shots are always important. Check with your doctor what travel vaccinations are necessary to get if you are travelling. Check.
Give your travel itinerary to a friend or family member.
Can you use your local currency? What are the exchange rates? It is always safest to buy traveller's cheques and only keep a small amount of currency on you. Keep a backup credit card and debit card on you in a secure spot. Split up your valuables. Check.
Scale down. Clean out your wallet or purse. Do you really need all those cards? The answer is no. Check.
Does your personal insurance cover international travel? Do you need to top it up? Some plans cover air ambulance, cancellation etc. Check.
When packing, keep in mind the new weight restrictions. Airlines will charge for anything over the limit. Check.
Be safe and respect flight security. And don't be a douche. Be aware of limits for liquids or personal hygiene products. (It is usually 100 ml or 3.4 oz). Check.
Dress comfortably. For example, if leaving Montreal's -23 degrees C (-15 F) and arriving in Jamaica's 28 degrees C (83 F), you should leave room in your luggage to pack your coat and, change either at the airport or on the plane. Check.
Do not pack weapons in your carry on luggage. Check, wait... OK, Check.

Airport Security

A few more tips from Canadian Air Transport Security for speeding up your passage through security

DO

Have your boarding pass ready to present.
Remove coats, jackets, and blazers and place them in the bin.
Empty all contents of your shirt and pant pockets and place these items in the bin.
Keep all GPS equipment, iPods, PDA’s, mobile phones, and smartphones in your carry-on baggage. They do not need to be screened separately.
Remove laptops, video cameras with cassettes, and film cameras from their carry-cases and place them in the bins provided.
Pack knitting needles, crotchet hooks and sewing kits in your carry-on baggage.
Avoid wearing shoes with metal arches, buckles, steel-toes or shanks (shanks?!).
Avoid wearing belts with metal buckles.
Place your transparent, closed and resealable plastic bag containing your liquids, aerosols and gels into a separate bin.
Ensure all medication is properly labelled and stored in your carry-on baggage. The name on the prescription must be the same as the one on your ticket/boarding pass.

DON’T ...

Don't bring gel or ice packs in your carry-on baggage as they are subject to the liquid restrictions. You can carry a bag of frozen solid peas instead to keep food cold.
Don't pack gifts and souvenirs containing liquids, aerosols and gels in your carry-on. These include: liquor, wine, beer, snow-globes, cans of soup, maple syrup, perfume, and lotion. Put them in checked baggage or ship them separately. (Only in Canada do they have to specify maple syrup).
Don't wrap gifts as they may have to be opened for screening. Wait until you arrive at your destination or ship them ahead of time.

I hope these handy travel tips will make your vacation safe and more enjoyable. Start with a list, do an inventory, pack light. And please take me with you!

The Legoland airport cavity searches can be brutal

Seinfeld in Oz

2012-01-13T13:00:00.000-05:00

One of the best spoofs to ever come out of Saturday Night Live. This picks up after the Seinfeld series finale, after Jerry and company get arrested. And I think you will find this funny, even if you haven't seen the show Oz. Just to bring you up to speed, Oz was the first one hour dramatic television series produced by HBO. The excellent series, often violent and brutal, featured a no holds barred look at the Oswald Maximum Security Correctional Facility.

As usual, click play, and click the x in the top right corner to bypass the ad.

Seinfeld in Oz

Jerry and Elaine

Kramer

George Costanza

Snowstorms Are Awesome

2012-01-12T20:26:00.001-05:00

Snowstorms are awesome. I love spending twenty minutes shovelling out my car and clearing the snow from the windshield. It is a great feeling spinning your wheels on snow and slush and ice, trying to avoid oncoming traffic. I feel great when idiot drivers are racing through the snow covered streets and cut you off as they lose control of their car. Sitting in traffic is a wonderful feeling especially when it is for an hour and 25 minutes and it takes triple the usual time to get home. I love when traffic is reduced from three to one lane due to the piles of snow. I love the noises the snow plows make throughout the night. I love it when we have freezing rain and it takes me an hour to scrape the ice from my windshield. What else do I love about winter in Montreal?
I love when the city clears half of the lane, or one and a half lanes forcing all the cars into the middle of the road. It is amazing when there is no room to park but people do anyway and double park their car next to the snowbank. I absolutely adore it when six lane roads get reduced to one lane and cars in opposite directions have to take turns passing. Fuck it all. I'm going to Jamaica.

Stupid Winter

Carnage - Film Review

2012-01-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

Carnage, a film by Roman Polanski, is an adaptation of Yasmina Reza’s award-winning play God of Carnage. Funny and at times uncomfortably funny, at 79 minutes the film moves along quickly. The not quite real-time film shows the interaction between two couples whose sons were involved in a fight.

The movie is set entirely in the apartment of one couple, played by Jodie Foster and John C Reilly, as they host the aggressor's parents (Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz). The wonderful cast captures the initial awkward forced politeness and later the conversation's escalation to verbal sparring.
Coffee, crumble and alcohol is used to smooth over the cracked relationship, but backfires as inhibitions drop, and builds some unexpected connections as the couples' sparring turns to politics, gender, middle class ethics and parental responsibility.

Sometimes claustrophobic, Carnage exposes the flaws of our communication first contemporary society where our message is often mislaid in an attempt to deliver the way we expect the receiver wishes to receive it. The film is well acted, if not a little over the top on Foster's part. The conflicts are ferocious as they expose the unpleasant truths buried not so far below the surface. Carnage is a dramatic film that is laugh out loud funny.

Carnage, stars Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz

The Barr Brothers

2012-01-07T22:59:00.004-05:00

I just heard about this group. The Barr Brothers, that is. Great new band out of Montreal. Well, not so "new", since they've been around paying dues live gigging on the road since 2004. But they just caught a huge exposure break on David Letterman recently, and I assume many like me instantly took notice of their awesomeness in the form of their tune "Beggar in the Morning." Watch their vid for the song below. Wow. I mean... WOW. When's the last time you heard some smooth-ass, uncategorizable tunage like this?

Might be a little late coming to the party on this one, what with being a parent, hitting 40, and generally being out of the "young and hip" loop now that middle age is upon me. But enough whining about all that.

These guys are the shit. I've been looking for some new music to inspire, hit home and just plain evoke emotion from me. Last band to do that out of the blue for me like this was The Arcade Fire and their first album, Funeral. Another Montreal-based outfit. Go figure.

Anyway, The Barr Brothers... their eponymous first album hit the streets and stores and online retailers last year. Took awhile to filter to the masses, it seems. Hopefully this little, inconsequential blog helps change that a smidgen.

The Barr Brothers Photo Credit: Andre Guerette

Do yourselves a favour, go to their website. Have a listen/look. Close your eyes. Immerse in the band's fucking awesome soundscapes and if you like it as much as I do, buy this shit up. I haven't heard a bad tune out of this album yet. I sure hope they get the credit and sales they deserve and can roll out six or seven of these album-gems in the coming years.

Mature alt-rock-atmospheric-aural-gold. Nice.

And oh yeah, when's the last time you thought of a harp as an essential instrument to great mainstream music? Watch the little instrumental ditty below. Slightly reminiscent of Lindsey Buckingham's instrumental ode to Stevie Nicks called "Stephanie." Sweet, sweet... SAH-WEET!

Like I said, how do you categorize these guys? You can't. And who cares?! They rock... or whatever.

THE BARR BROTHERS - Sarah Through The Wall Mitch Fillion (southernsouls.ca) Vimeo.

New Movies 2012

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

What follows is a selection of some of the most anticipated movies for release in 2012. A whole mess of new movies are heading our way in 2012. There are a few brand new stories. But some of the most anticipated films of this new year are sequels, others are remakes, and the rest are made up of rehashed ideas. I included trailers for some, and descriptions for all of these most talked about films.

The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises, July 2012

The film marks the final in the Batman trilogy for Christian Bale. The idea was to make three films starring Bale with Christopher Nolan at the helm. The villain this time is Bane, yes, that Bane. The one that broke Batman's back in the 1993 comic book. I am guessing that won't happen here. Set eight years after The Dark Knight, Bane will be The Batman's ultimate challenge, both physically and mentally.

Perhaps you have already seen it. This video has been viewed some 30 million times between iTunes and YouTube.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

Due out November 2012. The love story between Bella Swan and Edward Cullen concludes in this

final installment of this Stephenie Meyer's series. If you are a girl you will like this. Get what I am saying?

Breaking Dawn Part 2

The Avengers, May 2012

Looking at the characters and the actors, this should be an awesome flick. Should be. The movie stays true to the original story line of the world's greatest superheroes banding together to save the world, and realizing they don't like each other much. Look for Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and The Incredible Hulk in this live action Marvel sequel. Stars Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johanson, Samuel L Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow.

Watch the trailer and get blown away.

The Expendables 2, August 2012

I guess JCVD learned his lesson. Van Damme apparently and foolishly turned down a role in the first film. Look for him and Chuck Norris and a who's who of the action world. Also joining the cast is Liam Hemsworth.

Stars Statham, Bruce Willis, Stallone, Schwarzennegar, Jet Li, Lundgren. My disappointment? Charisma Carpenter is nowhere to be found in part 2. I am happy to note Steven Segal is also nowhere to be found.

The Hobbit, the Dwarves

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Dec 2012

The Hobbit: There and Back Again, Dec 2013

I am a huge fan of Tolkien's books, especially, the Trilogy. This could be the film of the year. Or decade. Will lightning strike twice? The Hobbit is a prequel to the Lord of the Rings and covers the story of how Bilbo found the ring and his adventures before and after. They have taken certain liberties in the story - as they did with LOTR - to make the film appealing to all. This time, mostly in the form of Evangeline Lilly's character Tauriel which was made up for this film.

The Amazing Spider-Man, July 2012

A reboot of a reboot of a reboot. Wouldn't it be embarrassing for the filmmakers if this movie sucked? After all, it's only five years since the last Spider-Man movie. Was it necessary to start over? I was wondering who would go see it. And then I realized, I would got see it. Andrew Garfield takes over as Spider-Man. And it also stars the amazing Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy. Emma freaking Stone! Also Martin Sheen and Denis Leary.

Underworld Awakening, 20 January 2012

No idea if it is any good. But it stars Kate Beckinsale. In leather! The action series Romeo and Juliet for vampires and werewolves continues. Twilight for guys. So if I wasn't clear earlier gentlemen, Twilight = bad, Underworld = good.

Speaking of hot women in leather Milla Jovovich returns in Resident Evil: Retribution. Michelle Rodriguez returns as Rain as they once again battle the Umbrella Corporation. September 2012

Resident Evil 5:Retribution

Total Recall, August 2012

Kate Beckinsale stars with Colin Farrell taking over the role of Quaid in this remake of the 1990 Schwarzneggar feature. Jessica Biel is Melina. The amazingly talented Bill Nighy costars.

The Great Gatsby, December 2012

This adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel stars Leonardo Dicaprio. After The Departed I no longer hated Leonardo Dicaprio and have since watched his performances with an open mind. I got over what he did to Growing Pains.

The Great Gatsby is a classic that we were forced to read in grade 11. I guess I got over that too.

This Baz Luhrmann directed film is the 7th retelling of the novel.

I have seen several dramatic versions of Les Miserables but oddly enough I have never seen the musical. The story is set in early 19th century France, Jean Valjean is released from prison, breaks parole to create a new life for himself all the while evading the driven Inspector Javert.

This musical stars Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, Helena Bonham Carter. December 2012

I've had a boner for this next movie ever since it was first announced and I sat through the pain as its release was met with delay after delay. Finally set for a November 2012 release, this remake may suck but I want to see Red Dawn. In this version a group of teenagers attempt to save their town from an attack as North Korean soldiers invade the United States.

The first one was a lot of fun and showed some unexpected grit for a movie of its era. And we got to see all the stars of the 90s and early 00s before they were stars. Can't predict that the remake will have the same impact.

Red Dawn

Seen the trailer? John Carter, Edgar Rice Burroughs second most famous character March 2012.

I will watch anything with Liam Neeson. He's got a busy year ahead with four films set to be released.

The Grey January 2012

In Alaska, an oil drilling team struggles to survive after a plane crash strands them in the wild. Hunting the humans are a pack of wolves who see them as intruders. Also,

Wrath of the Titans, March 2012 Sequel to the the remake Clash of the Titans.

Battleship, May 2012 Based on the Milton Bradley game, a fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.

Untitled Taken Sequel, Oct 2012 This time Neeson's character is kidnapped. No mention if it is the daughter that rescues him.

The Raven, March 2012

I have read everything ever written by Edgar Allan Poe so this is a bit of a kick. A fictionalized account of Poe's last days in pursuit of a serial killer and completely opposite of Poe's true character. Poe the person was not a happy man and was hardly the hero. In this film the poet is in pursuit of a killer whose murders mirror those of the characters in the stories. John Cusack stars.

Because it hasn't made enough money, the 2nd highest grossing film of all time will be re-released in a 3D version. I can't wait to see that scene where Jack sketches Rose. Yes, Titanic 3D. April 2012

Three Stooges, April 2012

Everybody who was anybody, was associated with this film at one point or another. Larry David plays a nun. So it has to be funny. Sean Hayes plays Larry and some lesser know actors are the other stooges.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, June 2012

Based on a true story.
In it President Lincoln's mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers. Stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Rufus Sewell.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

World War Z, December 2012

We have seen a lot of great films of zombie lore in the last few years, call it the golden age, or at least the silver age of the walking dead in film. After Zombieland, The Walking Dead, Shaun of the Dead, 28 Days Later, can there be another good one?

Based on the novel by Max Brooks, who also wrote The Zombie Survival Guide, a UN representative, writing a report on the great zombie war, interviews survivors in the wake of World War Z. Brad Pitt stars. Brooks was a writer on SNL from 2001- 2003. He is also son of the legendary Mel Brooks.

World War Z

Star Trek 2

And a few more...

Star Trek Sequel

May 2013 and in 3D. J.J. Abrams' reboot continues. Set production started in 2011. Filming started January 2012.

Ghostbusters III, 20??

Most of the original cast and a few younger known B status actors.

Arrested Development, 20?? Return of the Bluths. What's the hold up?!

Arrested Development

Super Troopers 2 Has been in development hell for a couple years. Who knows if this will ever be released. A sequel to the incredibly funny 2001 film.

A whole mess of new movies are heading our way in 2012. I am excited to see most of these 2012 new movies. Did I miss any?

No Pants Friday

2012-01-02T07:03:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks back I was fighting a cold and feeling under the weather. I opted to work from home that day. So it was another No Pants Day.

During the day I chatted with my manager via messenger. To add some perspective and in case you don't know me yet, I live alone.

Shawn: The coffee here is better.
Manager: I believe you.
Shawn: and the toilet paper is softer.
Manager: lol
Shawn: But the people aren't as nice.
Manager: talking to yourself again? lol
Shawn: Yes. He took my pen.
Manager: punch him... lol
Shawn: I just did... I don't think I can make it to work on Monday.

Tom Waits New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T06:00:00.000-05:00

Tom Waits Bad As Me

Who else but Tom Waits would have Keith Richards as a guest vocalist? I love Tom Waits' early albums, the jazzy bluesy folksy tin pan alley stuff. In the post 1982 era my favourite has to be Bone Machine. In honour of the day that is New Year's Eve, here is Tom Waits' New Year's Eve, from his terrific 2011 release Bad As Me.

New Year's Eve

2011-12-27T08:00:00.000-05:00

Tanya at Tanya Says wrote a nostalgic piece on the New Year's celebration. I am not so sentimental. My most common memory of New Year's past, since about the age of twelve years old, consists of being sick in bed every other year. For some reason, for year upon year, the flu, a stomach virus, a sinus infection or something else would knock me on my ass a couple days before the festivities. I do not get sick often - December being the exception.

Happy New Year!

Three years ago I started getting the flu shot. So far so good. This year I came down with a cold at the early part of the month. And I can now see the finish line. I have to avoid sick people for a few more days and I will have made it to New Year's, unscathed.

New Year's is a reason or an excuse to celebrate. I don't have any emotional ties to the night. It used to be a requirement to go out and party as hard as possible. All I really need is two things. Friends and an alcoholic beverage or two.

New Year's is a time for celebration, a dawning of a new year, a cause to gather with friends and family, out with the old and in with the new. A time to air out old grievances, forget and move forward, a time to wash away the ills and wish for only the good. And what a better way to wash it away than with alcohol?

People keep asking me what am I doing for New Years. The correct question is where are you going for New Years. What am I doing is a forgone conclusion. I am drinking. Where am I drinking on New years? Not sure yet. I know what I will be drinking with friends. Where? Doesn't matter.

One time, about 10 or so years back, the clock struck midnight, everyone hugged and kissed. I called my parents to wish them a Happy New Year. Their response was, "Why are you calling?"

So maybe there is a reason I am not so sentimental for New Year's past.

Bonne Annee!

Best Of... Holiday Classics

2011-12-25T08:58:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. For Christmas day filler, what better way to complete the day then with a Christmas themed post? Here are some stories I wrote specifically with this time of year in mind.
Click the titles on the post you want to view.

Let us start off with suggestions I came up with to while the day away in...

Things to do On Christmas Day When You Don't Celebrate Christmas

If you are celebrating today, a believer or non believer, Santa may be resting this very morning, but he still has some toys left over in his sack. It's not too late to write to Santa. So send Santa a letter with your gift wish for this year, or get a head start on next year by filling out the comment section. I guarantee speedy delivery for all letters...

Letters to Santa - Speedy Delivery Service

What's the holiday season without music? There is something about Christmas music that provides a poignant soundtrack to the celebrations and festivities.

Here is a new Christmas song called...

Santa Stole My Lady

And if you are into the classics, and don't mind a friendly spoof, here is Will Ferrel and John C. Reilly doing their version of the David Bowie, Bing Crosby classic Peace on Earth / Little Drummer Boy. ..

Little Drummer Boy

Are you planning on going shopping on Boxing Day? Need some tips for dealing with the lines, the angry shoppers, the helpful and not so helpful clerks?

Than watch this video on one of the best shopping pranks ever...

Shopping Prank

Or if you just want a chuckle, here are some of the ...

Funniest Quotes of the Year

just a few of the tweets and Facebook status updates that I fell on during the year. I will he putting out a new one in the next few days. Part 1, Part 2.

Is this a Holiday Tradition?

2011-12-24T07:52:00.001-05:00

Not one, not two, not three, but four people found StubbornFool.com by searching for "how to make your penis look like a candy cane".

Anyone want to contribute a story on "how to make your penis look like a candy cane"? Through proper search engine optimization I really think I can corner the penis-candy cane market.

When Cats Attack

2011-12-21T07:20:00.000-05:00

A short film called Holy Shit Cats. Ridiculous and amusing.

Date Night

2011-12-18T18:23:00.000-05:00

I met this really hot girl. We went out for coffee. She is awesome.

Why am I telling you this? I'm bragging. I went out with a hot girl.

Also, I am anticipating that she will eventually read this and therefore, bonus points.

Not the actual lady I went out with

John Carter

2011-12-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

John Carter is an action-adventure film set on the mysterious and exotic planet Mars. Based on the classic novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the film tells the story of the war-weary Civil War captain John Carter (Taylor Kitsch), who is mysteriously transported to Mars where he becomes embroiled in an epic conflict amongst the inhabitants of the planet, including Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) and the Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). In a world on the brink of collapse, Carter rediscovers his humanity when he realizes that the survival of Mars and its people rests in his hands. Look for it in a theatre near you in March 2012. And the trailer is freaking awesome.

John Carter Movie Poster

Rush to Hall of Fame

2011-12-14T06:45:00.000-05:00

Rush

How can Rush not be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?! The new class of inductees has been announced and a few of the names caught me off guard. Red Hot Chili Peppers? Guns N' Roses? Where is Rush? It was the Heebonics website that first brought this story to my attention. For the 27th induction taking place in April 2012, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N' Roses, Beastie Boys, Donovan and The Faces have all been named to the Hall.

I have nothing against RHCP. As far as I am concerned they had two good albums; 1989's Mother's Milk and 2006's Stadium Arcadium. Guns N' Roses? They haven't been GNR since Slash left. The band met with a creative decline immediately after 1987's Appetite For Destruction and a swifter decline followed Use Your Illusion (1 and 2).

The Beastie Boys, also named to this year's inductee list stand above the others, at the very least for their groundbreaking music and consistency of quality output. 1986's Licensed to Ill still gets regular radio airplay. The 1994 video for Sabotage, an homage to the cop shows of the 70s, has to be one of the greatest videos ever made.

Donovan with close to thirty albums and eleven Top 40 songs in the U.S. deserves his spot. The (Small) Faces can be nominated for their music, or for who used to be a member of the band. Do Steve Marriot, Ronnie Wood, and Rod Stewart sound familiar?

But where oh where is Rush in the eyes of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? 40 million records sold. The same lineup since 1974. A band that has inspired multiple generations and some of the biggest acts in the business. The band's 20th studio album Clockwork Angels is set for an April 2012 release.

Whether you listen to their recordings, or watch the band live, these prog rock pioneers will bring you something new with every appearance, with every listening. Lyrics filled with wit and humour, the biggest contradiction is their almost exclusive male following. Every musician wants to be them, every guy wants to play like them, and every woman wants to be their distant cousin.

If you aren't convinced then you must not have seen the brilliant documentary on the band Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage. Sign the petition here. Let's get Rush into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame where they belong.

Rush 1974

Random Conversations

2011-12-12T09:11:00.000-05:00

A colleague approached me the other day. We were each doing separate business in the washroom, but our paths intersected at the hand dryers. Yes. Thankfully not before.

Colleague: "So, Shawn did you unpack your stuff?"

I stare blankly, blinking, thinking that perhaps I could not clearly hear what he said over the drone of the hand dryers.

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked.

Colleague: "Did you unpack your staff."

Shawn: "My stuff? What stuff?"

Colleague: "Your things when you moved."

Shawn: "When I moved?" I replied, completely confused. "My office? My office has been in the same place for four years."

Colleague: "No. Your place. You said you had stuff to unpack."

Shawn: "My place?" I replied, still confused. "You mean my condo?"

Colleague: "Yes, your condo."

Shawn: "Okay, my condo. I still don't know what stuff you are talking about."

Colleague: "You said you had a lot of stuff to go through. And a lot of books to pack."

I stare at him for a moment as it dawns on me that he is referring to a conversation I had with him three years ago.

Shawn: "Uh, yeah. I moved close to three years ago. Not only did I finish packing but I also finished unpacking."

I filled the awkward silence with a brief story about the one box of junk in the back of a closet I kept for a rainy day. I then hurried away before he could ask me about some other random event in my life.

Still a little confused by the line of questioning, I was tempted to go back to ask him if he remembers seeing me on a near weekly basis over the last couple years. If this was a concern for him he could have brought it up sooner. Was this his attempt at small talk? Doesn't small talk usually revolve around current events.

The next conversation with him could go something like this.
Colleague: "Did you here about The Edmund Fitzgerald? Sucks."

If not already done, we must impose a statute of limitations on old conversations. We would simply tell the other person, "That topic is prescribed." Or if the existing limitations were lifted I wish someone would tell me. I will have to answer a lot of "Why didn't you call me?" questions from the last few years.

Complete Idiot's Guide...

This is The Day

2011-12-09T10:00:00.009-05:00

The The - This Is The Day

Well... you didn't wake up this morning,
'cause you didn't go to bed.
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red.
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off.

You've been reading some old letters.
You smile and think how much you've changed.
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days.

You pull back the curtains, and the sun burns into your eyes.
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.
This is the day your life will surely change.
This is the day when things fall into place.

You could've done anything, if you'd wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together ... like glue

This is the day your life will surely change...

The The Soul Mining

Little Drummer Boy

2011-12-06T07:00:00.009-05:00

The folks at Funny or Die put together another great video for Christmas. Will Ferrel and John C. Reilly do their spoof of the David Bowie, Bing Crosby classic Peace on Earth / Little Drummer Boy. I do not go for the Xmas music but if I had to pick one song, one rendition, it would be the Crosby - Bowie song, not the lyrics but the song itself. Doesn't hurt that I was always a big fan of Bowie. Rumour is that on the same show that Crosby and Bowie recorded the song, they also did a rendition of Heroes.

Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy with Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly from Will Ferrell stubbornfool.com

David Bowie Bing Crosby

Black Friday Shopping Prank

2011-12-04T07:19:00.004-05:00

This made laugh out loud. I've watched it twice and laughed both times. On Black Friday two guys go into a store and attempt to buy an insane list of nonsensical shopping items. The catch is, they don't know what is coming up on the list. The best part is when they themselves are trying not to crack up.

I am getting my list together just in time for Christmas. Anybody want to go shopping with me?

No Mo' Mo

2011-12-03T08:00:00.010-05:00

My mo has gone the way of the dodo. That is to say, not extinct but shaved and down the drain. I cannot say it was fun. I can say that I am glad it is over.

I look younger and less distinguished (apparently) without my moustache. Which is offset by my receding hairline, which makes me look older and also less distinguished. If you are wondering where all that the money raised during the campaign goes click here.

Now that Movember is gone, I guess the next thing to look forward to is Cocktober. Or maybe Vaginauary.

Movember in 30 days and 60 photos, accompanied by Big Sugar, It's All Over Now

Can Facebook save the Expos?

2011-12-01T18:58:00.004-05:00

The answer of course, is no. Facebook cannot save the Expos. That horse left the barn carrying David Samson and Jeffrey Loria some years back. They're gone. Kaput. Defunct. Pining for the fjords, as it were. Montreal ain't getting no MLB team back in the city any time soon.

All that said, a Facebook page is doing its darnedest to keep the memories alive and in technicolour for any and all remaining fans of the team to view.

The page at https://www.facebook.com/ExposNation has a massive (well, for a dead team, at least) fan base of more than 122,000 people and has been posting vintage photos, videos, mash-ups in a balls-put attempt to keep The Expos in the hive-mind of social networking's public consciousness.

Go. Have a look. If you're an Expos fan or a baseball fan in general, some of the imagery is just priceless.

The site is well-constructed, funny, sentimental and even elicits an occasional tear from we die-hard fans of the lost Canadian baseball team (may Bill Lee appear in Bud Selig's dreams as a cross-dressing crack-whore intent on pitching fastballs of hellfire at his nuts for eternity for this travesty!).

Let's all remember the following: Montreal is where Jackie Robinson played before being called up into the majors. Montreal is where Pete Rose was playing when he collected his 4000th hit (yeah, he was way past his prime and in the throes of his whole gambling scandal, but still). Montreal was the first MLB expansion city outside the U.S. Montreal is where "El Presidente" became just the 13th pitcher in baseball history to record a perfect game.

Ah, the memories.

And on a bit of a tangent, but still on Montreal sporting clubs… WTF with the Habs this year?!?! Thoughts/rants/recipes welcome.

-Joe Bunga