Stuck in the '80s | '80s fashion, retro music, John Hughes movies and big hair

Forgotten '80s album classics: Queen's 'The Game'

2009-07-18T09:19:25-04:00

Somebody explain why nobody talks about Queen's 1980 album The Game anymore? The 10 songs on it practically define the end of the '70s and start of the '80s in so many ways.

I can't imagine rollerskating as a teen without Another One Bites The Dust, but this song -- Play The Game -- is my official SIT80s earworm of the weekend. (Because trust me, you don't want track No. 2 off the album -- Dragon Attack -- as your earworm. Click the link. But you have been warned.)

The Game is up next as the Stuck in the '80s podcast honors the classic albums of the '80s. But first we want your opinion: What are the best tracks? Worst tracks? Underrated tunes? Where does this album stand among '80s albums? How many of you owned it when it first came out?

Tell us your Queen stories! You know it will make you feel better. And rest in peace, Freddie Mercury. We got your back.

Frankie say ... No reunion, no way

2009-07-17T16:46:11-04:00

Bad news for Frankie Goes to Hollywood fans: Despite widespread reports in the U.K. that the Liverpool band had mended fences and plans a reunion tour, the manager for lead singer Holly Johnson says it's not happening.

"There is no truth in that rumor," Wolfgang Kuhle told Stuck in the '80s in an e-mail received today. "Holly is doing some promotion in the fall / winter for Universal who are doing a FGTH Greatest Hits and re-releasing Holly's two solo albums for MCA."

But that's it, Kuhle insists.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood called it quits in 1987 after just two albums (Welcome to the Pleasuredome and Liverpool). But in their short four years of recording, they scored five Top 10 hits in the U.K., including Relax, Two Tribes, The Power of Love, Welcome to the Pleasuredome and Rage Hard.

All attempts to reunite the band over the last 20 years have been unsuccessful, but reports of a reunion were sparked recently in the UK after Virgin Atlantic used Relax in a commercial.

These days, Johnson uses only his own name when he performs music, and any other band using the "Frankie" name would expose themselves to possible legal trouble from the original members.

[VH1 photo]

Octopussy, Leonard Part 6, Big Top Pee Wee: Dumbest movie names of the '80s

2009-07-17T09:55:33-04:00

Excuse the rant, but ... Yes, The Karate Kid was a goofball, I-give-up name for a movie in the '80s that actually turned out to be pretty iconic. But it just steams my bologna boat to see that the new remake of Karate Kid will be called ...

The Kung Fu Kid. (Pfffffft!)

The Jackie Chan (instead of Pat Morita) and Jaden "I'm Will's kid" Smith ('stead of Ralph Macchio) movie will also be set in China. No problems there. But I'm telling you right now: If there's no Cobra Kai dogo in the remake, and no "Sweep the leg" taunting, I'm going to go all wax-on, wax-off on Hollywood.

Still, studio heads have a well-deserved rep for botching movie titles. Especially in the '80s. I need your help with this list, per usual, so let's get started: Name the worst or dumbest movie titles of the '80s. (No, you can't do porn names. Well, you can, but just e-mail those to me separately.)

Here are five that come to mind immediately:

OCTOPUSSY (1983): I still can't say the name of this underrated James Bond flick with a straight face. My guess: Some movie exec won major coin by winning a bet that a movie could be greenlit and released under this titillating title. (The title -- like most Bond titles -- came from a comes from the collection of short stories by Ian Fleming called, yep, Octopussy and The Living Daylights.)

BIG TOP PEE WEE (1988): What was worse: The movie itself or its title? The irony: The movie title is funnier since Paul Reubens was arrested for exposing himself in an adult theater in nearby Sarasota, Fla., giving new meaning to the circus phrase "pitching a tent."

HEARTBEEPS (1981): I only include this because in a fit of what must only be described as complete dymensia, I actually TiVo'd this Andy Kaufman nightmare last week. When I awoke from a Funyun and Wild Turkey coma, it was immediately erased.

LEONARD PART 6 (1987): Have fun with your non-'80s friends and put Leonard Parts 1 through 5 on your wish list next Christmas.

FRANKENWEENIE (1984): A short film by Tim Burton, who is possibly the only director on the planet who could talk actors like Shelley Duvall and Daniel Stern into appearing in a movie with this title.

Okay, fire away. What other movie titles need to be on the list of worst movie names of the '80s?

Berlin highlights the Regeneration Tour finale

2009-07-16T20:13:45-04:00

Regeneration Tour 2009 ended Wednesday night with an outdoor show in Atlanta. SIT80s correspondent John Sharpe was on hand to provide the review:

Excitement was in the humid, outdoor air for the final stop of the 2009 Regeneration Tour in Atlanta. Wang Chung was doing a final sound check as fans began arriving. They must have been running late, as we didn't get in until 6:40 pm and the ticket had a 7:00 pm start time.

The '80s gods smiled upon me as I was the second person in at my gate, and the ticket taker upgraded my seat to the orchestra pit tables. So instead of 175 feet from the stage, I was at a table a mere 80 feet from the stage.

Cutting Crew hit the stage at about 7:40 pm. They performed six tunes to start the night. Most everyone recognized One for the Mockingbird, I've Been in Love Before and I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight, but the sleeper song that stood out was The Scattering. The lead guitarists string broke during the solo of Mockingbird and while he changed it out Nick Van Eede sang the guitar solo.

Wang Chung was up next and played Don't Let Go to start their six song set. Wait, Let's Go and To Live and Die in LA followed quickly, but maybe they were going too fast as Jack Hues sang the wrong verse to start To Live and Die in LA but he laughed about it and redid the verse as they kept playing. Dance Hall Days and Everybody Have Fun Tonight had the crowd singing and dancing. And the best is yet to follow.

The stage was reset with a new drum kit for Berlin, so the break was a bit longer. Blue lights on the stage, a familiar synth arpeggio, and Masquarade started. Terri Nunn entered the stage and the crowd roared. Her familiar trademark hair, blonde with a brunette undertone, a sheer black dress and a voice that had not aged a day since the early '80s.

No More Words followed with the crowd singing the chorus at Terri's requests. Matter of Time and a Berlin version of Jefferson Airplane's Someone to Love kept the fans going. Everyone helped her sing The Metro and all the lighters came out with Take My Breath Away. The roadies rounded up about 25 fans to dance on stage for Dancing In Berlin. They closed their set with Sex..I am a.. and the 48-year-old singer danced and writhed with the guitarist on stage as she sang.

Three down, one to go.

ABC led by the excellent Martin Fry started with Show Me and Poison Arrow to rejuvenate the crowd from the break. With How to Be a Millionaire a road threw out coins to the crowd. With the last show, it seems lots of fun and hijinks were abound. All the bands came out of stage and helped ABC with Ride. They finished with the biggies - When Smokey SIngs, Be Near Me and The Look of Love. The only disappointment in the whole event was at the end, when due to rules, they cut off the mics to the band at 11 pm with about 30 seconds left of The Look of Love. Martin couldn't even say goodnight to the crowd.

Still it was a fantastic show. I have seen the last two versions of the "Regeneration Tour" and look forward to seeing what comes about for 2010.

[Getty Images photo of Terri Nunn at the Los Angeles Pride Fest]

Prepare to have childhood memories crushed: 'G.I. Joe' could be year's worst movie

2009-07-16T09:56:37-04:00

Do you still have nightmares seeing Dolph Ludgren as "He-Man" in 1987's Masters of the Universe? Get ready for more sleepless nights because the word in Hollywood is that the big-screen version of '80s cartoon G.I. Joe is the runaway contender for worst movie of 2009.

The website io9.com called G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra "Showgirls meets Plan 9." That's seriously brilliant commentary.

"We're all expecting G.I. Joe to be one of the worst movies of all time -- but we were actually overestimating it," the blog says. "Judging from the novelization, G.I. Joe will be a masterpiece of badness."

The movie opens Aug. 7. Check the official website for trailers and more hype. If you can stomach it.

Not everyone, though agrees with the doomsayers. Comicbookmovie.com actually gives it a lukewarm review -- damn near a glowing one compared to others.

"I've been familiar with G.I. Joe since I was a kid. I remember the cartoon, the silly PSAs and, of course, the toys. However, I was never a die hard fan or anything like that. After seeing the trailers, and realizing it looked pretty much nothing like the G.I.Joe I remember, I wasn't expecting much," writes its reviewer. "So, with that said, here's the short version: It wasn't great, but it wasn't the train wreck I expected. Also, it was more enjoyable than Transformers 2."

Of course, that's like saying Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!

The key to Stuck in the '80s' success? Bologna

2009-07-16T06:14:05-04:00

Here at Stuck in the '80s, we get all sorts of interesting things in the mail from fans. Boxes stuffed with Funyuns bags, a vintage Soviet Union soccer jersey, E.T. soap and even squid-flavored snacks from Korea. It’s a strange world.

But last week, everyone was equally dumbfounded by an empty package of Oscar Mayer bologna . . . until we looked closer at the writing on it.

“To Stuck in the ’80s . . . Best show ever! Glad Wos is back. The threesome rocks. Stuck in the ’80s yay!”

Ah-ha! It’s about our latest show featuring the fab three of Spearsy, Sean Daly and Cathy Wos, when we covered the “horrible hits” of 1984.

Remember the ongoing storyline about bologna? An e-mail that was read during the show proudly proclaimed that bologna — something Daly uttered briefly more than a year ago — was now a favorite catchphrase for at least one hard-core fan of the podcast.

Listen to the full podcast here if you need a refresher course. Meanwhile, the cost of sending an empty package of bologna from just down the road in Gulfport to downtown St. Petersburg? A cool $1.22.

Flash Gordon, Xanadu, Buckaroo Banzai: Name the campiest movies of the '80s

2009-07-15T10:09:15-04:00

Is Flash Gordon, that masterpiece featuring Sam Jones, Max von Sydow and Timothy Dalton, the campiest movie of the '80s?

It might not even be the campiest movie of 1980. Consider the competition that year: Xanadu, Smokey and the Bandit II, The Blue Lagoon, Popeye.

But with Flash Gordon and its killer Queen soundtrack playing this Saturday at the Beach Theatre in St. Pete Beach -- for free -- I'm leaning toward giving it a secured top 5 status.

Of course, what we need to do now is simple: Name the campiest movies of the '80s. I'll give you broad authority to define "campy" any way you want. But to me, it's a movie that's incredibly fun to watch because it's unintentionally comic, ironic but yet sentimental.

Name as many movies as you want, but here are five that would make my list, which I'll publish later this week once your suggestions are in:

THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION (1984): Longest title for a movie I'd really never want to see again, though I'm told by half the English-speaking world that I'm just missing the campy qualities. It better be campy, because with lines like this -- "Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are" -- it's sure not clever.

ZAPPED (1982): It has Scott Baio, Willie Aames and Scatman Crothers. Need I say more? If memory serves, I think Baio's model of the Starship Enterprise takes flight (strings clearly attached) and attacks his dog. Sad thing is that I know for certain I once owned the soundtrack, including the very romantic (to a 13-year-old anyway) tune Got To Believe in Magic by the velvet-singing David Pomeranz.

IRON EAGLE (1986): Hard to believe Louis Gossett Jr. won an Oscar for Officer and a Gentleman just four years before putting out this stinker. Oh sure, we love it. Mainly for Queen's signature tune One Vision ("Fried chicken!") and for lines like this: "Looks like they'll be importing oil this year, Chappy."

GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN (1985): Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt before they were truly famous! But it violates the most important rule of serious movie-making: Never name your movie after a hit song. (I'm looking at you Patrick Dempsey ... Can't Buy Me Love? Great movie, lousy title.)

THE EXPERTS (1989): Remember when John Travolta made really strange movie choices? Yep, the '80s. But there's something about this tale of two suckers brought to the Soviet Union to open a nightclub that still is appealing. Must be co-star Deborah Foreman!

So what other campy movies of the '80s belong on the list?

Are we finally over Michael Jackson ... or just tired of zombie jokes?

2009-07-15T08:21:47-04:00

First sign that the Michael Jackson story is no longer front-page news? Even the satirists and bloggers have stopped writing about him. (Umm, except this blog post. Don't I feel sheepish.)

The razor-sharp funny site MichaelJacksonisnowazombie.com hasn’t been updated since June 26.

“Looks like LaToya and Jermaine are going to be getting more of my stuff than I had specified in my will (WHICH WAS ZERO!!!!!),” the blogger named “MJ” wrote in one of the last entries. “This is NOT the news I needed to hear right now.”

Two other zombie sites — michaeljacksonisazombie.com and ismichaeljacksonazombie
yet.com — are merely shells now. (America is officially zombied out, we presume, or maybe they got some sternly worded letters from lawyers.)

But true to its name, Eternalmoonwalk.com is still online. But it remains to be seen how long can anyone really watch dance-challenged fans from Mexico City, Buenos Aires and elsewhere try to moonwalk for 10 feet.

Journey back on tour (still); Steve Perry back on the radio

2009-07-15T06:20:12-04:00

Journey is still on its never-ending tour following their comeback Revelations album and hiring of singer Arnel Pineda.

A bunch of new dates have been added, including several in Florida (but none in Tampa Bay.) So local fans here will have to travel to Orlando for the Sept. 23 show at the Amway Arena. Opening for Journey is ... Night Ranger, marking at least the third time this year they've played Central Florida. For all I know, they're set up right now outside my apartment, reading to serenade me with Sister Christian on the way to work.

More interesting Journey news: Their former, iconic singer Steve Perry is being interviewed this week by the CBC, Canada's radio network, for a story on the enduring popularity of Don't Stop Believing. Also being interviewed: Yep, some schlep named Steve Spears of Stuck in the '80s. Supposedly, Perry will hear what I've said about the legendary hit song and react to it during the interview. And I wonder why I haven't been able to sleep for days now.

Hopefully I'll have an audio clip to post later this week. And yes, of course, I'm going to try to get Perry on the Stuck in the '80s podcast. Trouble is that I only have about 300 or so questions to ask him!

[Publicity photo]

Depeche Mode's Dave Gahan is hurt ... again

2009-07-14T11:55:56-04:00

Guess which '80s band just canceled their last two European dates due to injury? Depeche Mode fans, you better have your hands high in air -- per usual.

Singer Dave Gahan, who was sidelined earlier in the tour with a bladder tumor, now has torn a calf muscle. Doctors have told him to stay off his leg and rest, according to theinsider.com.

At this point, we should mention that Gahan is 47 years old, not 67 years old, and is a singer, not a pole vaulter. So this is another mind-boggling injury.

Depeche Mode's North American tour is set to start July 24 in Toronto and includes a Sept. 4 date at Tampa's Ford Amphitheatre. If you're planning on attending, make sure to bring a wheelchair for Dave ... just in case.

By the way, if you're still on the fence as to buying tickets, here's the Depeche Mode set list for the 2009 tour so far, according to their official website. It looks fantastic:

In Chains
Wrong
Hole To Feed
Walking In My Shoes
It's No Good
A Question Of Time
Precious
Fly On The Windscreen
Jezebel
A Question Of Lust
Come Back
Peace
In Your Room
I Feel You
In Sympathy
Enjoy The Silence
Never Let Me Down Again

Encore #1

Stripped
Master And Servant
Strangelove

Encore #2

Personal Jesus
Waiting For The Night (Bare Version)

[AP photo]

Live Aid is 24 years old this week

2009-07-13T16:01:53-04:00

Twenty-four years ago today, before 162,000 live fans and a TV audience of 1.5 billion, musician Bob Geldof staged the most impressive display of humanitarianism the world had seen.

Live Aid primarily played Philadelphia and London (with Phil Collins flying on the Concorde so he could play both shows) in a quickly organized effort to raise funds for African famine relief. Similar concerts were staged in Germany, Australia, the Soviet Union and the Netherlands.

Click here to see a rundown of all the bands who played. But first, how many '80s musicians can you identify in the photo above?

Ghostbusters car for sale on eBay

2009-07-13T14:26:51-04:00

For sale: 1959 Cadillac with 100,000 miles. Previous owners: Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler. Features include new tires, room for three unlicensed nuclear accelerators, customized logo on the side ... oh, and room to store up to a dozen ectoplasmic entities.

Yes, the real Ghostbusters car is for sale on eBay today. So far, the top bid is $40,000, but that doesn't appear to meet the owner's set reserved price. The vehicle appears to be in a car museum in Ohio. Click here to see the item on eBay, but hurry -- the auction ends today.

Three epic words: Rick Springfield Cruise

2009-07-13T11:47:18-04:00

You love the '80s. You love cruises. You love Dr. Noah Drake. This is your lucky day. Behold the 2009 Rick Springfield Cruise, starring Rick Springfield, Richard Marx and MTV veejay Mark Goodman.

Doug Davidson (The Young and the Restless) and Brandon Barash (General Hospital) are also on the VIP guest list, but you want to hear more about Springfield, right?

The four-night cruise -- Nov. 12-16-- is on the Carnival Destiny out of Miami. There's just one stop: Cozumel, Mexico. The rest of the time, it's just you, Rick and the rolling waves.

You want the price, I know ... but wait! There's more!

According to the official Rick Springfield Cruise website -- that's a job I need -- the trip includes:

Full concerts and more intimate unplugged shows by both Springfield and Marx.
Q&A sessions with Springfield, Davidson and Barash. (What? No Q&A with Goodman and Marx? Seriously, I have questions for them!)
Photo and autograph opportunities with Springfield.
Free towel-animal demonstration by Stuck in the '80s blogger Steve Spears.

(That last item isn't confirmed. I'm still waiting for the contract to arrive in the mail.)

I'm sure more is planned, but they want to keep us guessing. Don't count on Richard Marx serving you Baked Alaska on the final dinner of the cruise though. However, if Mark Goodman wants to show me how to deshell my lobster tail, I won't object.

Okay, so the cost now. Assuming some cabins are still available, the cost is $899 to $1,799 per person based on double occupancy (2 people per cabin), depending on where your cabin is on the ship. Plus, there's an additional port charge of $219 per person. So you better really, REALLY love Rick Springfield. Or towel animals.

By the way, there's an online promotion to get free tickets to the cruise. Click here to enter.

'80s overload? Never! REO Speedwagon, Styx, Night Ranger coming to Tampa

2009-07-13T10:22:56-04:00

REO Speedwagon, Styx and Night Ranger have just announced a show at Tampa's Ford Amphitheatre for Oct. 30. And yes, late October is a beautiful time of year for an outdoor show like that.

Tickets for the Can't Stop Rockin' 2009 tour go on sale this weekend and are priced at $59.50, $39.50, $29.50 and $19.50. There is also a reserved seat 4-pack available for $60. This is being billed as a pavilion-only show, so I'm making an educated guess that this means no lawn seats are available?

And in case you're wonder, this will mark the second or third trip through Tampa Bay for both REO Speedwagon and Night Ranger in the last 18 months or so. Seriously guys, just move down here. The weather's nicer here and you can be regular co-hosts on the Stuck in the '80s podcast.

"Hey, hey, it's Steve Spears, your host, and with me as always, my three best friends ... Kevin Cronin, Tommy Shaw and Jack Blades. ... Sean Daly is manning the control board. We'll hear from him later on. Maybe."

Monday mood-adjuster: Literal video of Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'

2009-07-13T08:49:38-04:00

This "literal version" of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart has been on the Web for a while now, but it's Monday morning and we all need a reason for a laugh:

Okay, back to your drudgery.

Name the greatest bro-mances of the '80s

2009-07-12T17:03:21-04:00

Don't let the hype fool you. Just because I Love You Man and The Hangover were box office treasure booty, and a new season of HBO's Entourage is premiering tonight, remember this: The bro-mance was perfected many moons ago in a magical land called "Eighties-ville."

It was a time when men were men, women were women, and if the two were mixing, there better be a Spandau Ballet song playing in the background.

So what I want to know is: What are your favorite bro-mances of the '80s? You can pick from movies or TV for this list. Here are some that need consideration:

FERRIS AND CAMERON (Ferris Bueller's Day Off): There would have been no "Day Off" without both Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck teaming up. Is it the best John Hughes bro-mance or would that be ...

GARY AND WYATT (Weird Science):Not even Kelly LeBrock could separate Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith -- from their jeans or each other.

RAY HUGHES AND DANNY COSTANZO (Running Scared): So good together, nobody really remembers their character names. Just say Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal. And cue up Sweet Freedom by Michael McDonald.

JACK CATES AND REGGIE HAMMOND (48 Hours): Okay, so it was more of a love-hate relationship. But it's just fun to look way back in time to when Eddie Murphy was ... funny.

RIGGS AND MURTAUGH (Lethal Weapon): Given the current state of the careers of Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, you know they're rooting for a rekindling of their bro-mance. Big time.

What other bro-mances need to be on the list?

New Orleans vacay: No more gravy fries and Jager shots!

2009-07-11T15:43:07-04:00

There's a killer bar in New Orleans, where I'm spending a short vacation this weekend, called the Bourbon Blues Club. BBC for short. You'd think with a name like that, they'd play blues music and serve bourbon.

Well, the bourbon is there. Three-for-one drinks all day. But instead of blues music, it's '80s music! Thank you, NOLA. I knew you'd never leave me, let me down and de-friend me on Facebook!

So for the first 20 hours of our time in the city, my friend "Bad Andy" and I have consumed in order: a pitcher of Abita beer, two dozen raw oysters, "boo" fries (french fries covered in american cheese and roast beef residue gravy), crawdad puppies, another pitcher of Abita, four shots of Jagermeister, two Lucky Dogs, six whiskey and diet cokes and approximately 24 sliders and an order of chili fries from Krystals.

Whoops. Small error. That was in the first 5 hours, not 20 hours.

Oh, did I mention there's a swingers convention in town? So tonight calls for more '80s music as Bad Andy and I try to parlay my Stuck in the '80s schtick into something more tangible. "Hey baby. Wanna hear what Rick Springfield says about his role in 'Hard to Hold'?"

Yeah. We're doomed.

Lamar from 'Revenge of the Nerds' isn't gay?

2009-07-11T11:00:00-04:00

"Lamar Latrelle" from Revenge of the Nerds might be one of the most underrated roles of the '80s. In fact, that entire movie probably has more iconic characters than any other 10 movies from the '80s combined: Wormser, Lamar, Booger, Ogre, Poindexter, Takashi, the list goes on.

Lucky for us that Heeb Magazine caught up with actor Larry B. Scott, who played Lamar, for a recent interview. It's one of the best '80s interviews we've read in ages. In it you'll learn:

That Scott himself isn't gay. "I can’t tell you how many times gay guys have come up to me and said: ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. You’ve held our flag up so high!’ But that was just my job as an actor."
Scott is recognized as Lamar up to 20 times a day. (Don't forget he was also in Space Camp, Iron Eagle and Karate Kid. Yep, I believe he was the only black member of Cobra-Kai.)
And no, he didn't hold onto that javelin he used during the Greek Competition. Sadly, it's probably in a landfill somewhere.

Heeb Magazine also did interviews with Ogre and Wormser that are worth reading.

The Big Easy: 'If I can't have you, can I have my gator?'

2009-07-10T18:45:00-04:00

TODAY'S RETRO-REVIEW: 1987's The Big Easy, which is appropriate because this is automatically publishing on my blog at the very minute my plane is expected to land in New Orleans. The film stars Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin who both, according to IMDB.com, consider this their favorite film.

THE PLOT: A homicide detective (Quaid) has two problems: solving a series of gang killings and fighting off a police corruption investigation led by a lovely attorney from the D.A.'s office (Barkin).

MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Jim Garrison, the judge in Quaid's bribery case, is an actual judge in New Orleans and played himself. He was the subject of Oliver Stone's 1991 film JFK (where he was played by Kevin Costner).

SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: New Orleans is practically a co-star in the film, with scenes shot in prominent locations such as Tipitina's and Antoine's. Ironically, the film was supposed to be set in Chicago and be called Windy City.

WHAT THE CRITICS SAID: "The Big Easy is one of the richest American films of the year. It also happens to be a great thriller. I say 'happens,' because I believe the plot of this movie is only an excuse for its real strength: the creation of a group of characters so interesting, so complicated and so original they make a lot of other movie people look like paint-by-number characters." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.

WHY WE STILL LOVE IT TODAY: All the food scenes? The fun accents? Sure, those are nice, but the bedroom seduction scene between Quaid and Barkin still boils our crawdaddys some 20 years later.

TOP 5 MEMORABLE LINES FROM THE BIG EASY:

5. "Why don't you just face it, Remy? You're not one of the good guys anymore."

4. "You're a cop for God's sake, you're supposed to uphold the law, but instead you bend it and twist it and sell it."

3. "I never did have much luck with sex anyway." ... "Your luck's about to change, cher. "

2. "New Orleans is a marvelous environment for coincidence."

1. " If I can't have you, can I have my gator?"

What's the biggest Duran Duran earworm?

2009-07-10T13:08:43-04:00

Duran Duran is the undisputed king of the New Romantic movement in the '80s, but every once in a while, their songs can burrow a little too deep into the brain.

Like this one -- Careless Memories -- from back in 1981, which has been swimming around my head for a week or so. Which video do you prefer: The anime one above from their live DVD reunion show in London or the original video?

What I really want to know is: Which Duran Duran song is the biggest earworm to you? And why? And should Duran Duran even be considered an earworm?

Enjoy the haunting memories.

Creamed bologna, chili dogs and showering: Birthdays in the '80s

2009-07-10T08:17:35-04:00

Remember when birthdays used to be really fun? No, not like Sixteen Candles fun. Get serious.

They were like Christmas, I mean. You couldn't sleep the night before because you knew the next day a huge party was coming your way ... and possibly a new BMX bike with it.

At the very least, a huge feast was planned, and you picked the menu. I always leaned toward never-ending chili dogs.

Yep, those were the '80s for you. Good times all around. Never doubt that. It's the one constant in the universe. My universe anyway.

But here's the story of the greatest '80s birthday story of all. It was 1984, and I was spending the summer in Europe between my junior and senior years of high school.

On July 10, 1984, our group of about 12 students was in the small hamlet of Wil, Switzerland. We stayed at a small hostel-like hotel. The owners, knowing it was someone's birthday, laid out a huge spread of food for us. At the big moment, they brought in the main course: Huge steaming bowls of what we all swore looked like creamed bologna.

"Who's the birthday boy?" they asked. Everyone pointed at me. The bowls of shredded, creamy lunchmeat were put in front me. "What an honor," my best friend snickered. Turns out it was actually some type of veal, not bologna, and it was easily one of the best meals of my life.

We followed up dinner with MANY bottles of Lowenbrau Zurich and then I was thrown into the shower fully clothed (which was the birthday tradition on that trip, for some reason) along with a beautiful girl, Stephanie (pictured right here). The night ended with half the group all passed out, mostly undressed, in my bed.

And people wonder why I'm stuck in the '80s.

So today I turn 42. There will be no bicycles, no creamed veal, surely no Lowenbrau Zurich. But because I'm going to spend it in New Orleans, the chance for chili dogs (my beloved Lucky Dogs) is about 100 percent. And the odds that I end the night fully clothed in the shower are better than average. That a hot girl is with me? Very remote.

The point here: Enjoy the great birthdays -- and showers -- of your life when you have them. Because despite what the calendars say, they don't come along every year.

TOP 10 SHOWER SCENES OF THE '80s:

10. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981): Lynn-Holly Johnson explains to James Bond how she builds muscle tone.

9. BULL DURHAM (1988): A whole shower full of lollygaggers.

8. SIXTEEN CANDLES (1984): John Hughes wasn't big on nudity in his flicks. And yes, there's a body double (Paula Elser) for Haviland Morris in the shower scene.

7. MORGAN STEWART'S COMING HOME (1987): Jon Cryer and his girlfriend wore horror masks while bathing.

6. DRESSED TO KILL (1980): That's Penthouse model Victoria Lynn, not Angie Dickinson, in the shower. Does it really matter?

5. VACATION (1983): "Could I do your back, honey?" ... "I've already done my back." ... "Could I do your front?"

4. WEIRD SCIENCE (1985): Note to Anthony Michael Hall: When showering with Kelly LeBrock, do not wear jeans.

3. RISKY BUSINESS (1983): "The dream is always the same." Everyone forgets the Tom Cruise movie opens with "Joel Goodsen" and his shower dream. "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." "So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream."

2. PORKY'S (1982): "Do not attempt to apprehend this p---k, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."

1. VALLEY GIRL (1983): Narrowly wins the top spot for three reasons. 1) It's not a dream. 2) All parties are nude, and we don't know exactly who the female is until the surprise twist. 3) They end up in bed, where they're eaten by the monster of love.

Brooke Shields is back! Just as we predicted

2009-07-09T15:28:03-04:00

Just hours after Stuck in the '80s predicted a big career boost for her after Michael Jackson's memorial service, Brooke Shields is making good on our prognostication.

Shields just inked a deal for her first movie in 10 YEARS. Yes, it's been a decade since her last mainstream screen appearance (1999's Black and White.)

Our beloved star of Blue Lagoon and Endless Love will co-star in a Furry Vengeance, The Hollywood Reporter says. The live-action family comedy will also star Brendan Fraser, Dick Van Dyke, Ken Jeong and Samantha Bee, THR says.

Mock if you must all the celebrity posing at Tuesday's memorial service at the Staples Center, but Shields had tears a-flowing during her brief time at the podium. It was the first real human moment of the day -- maybe the only depending on what you make of Paris Jackson's speech at the end -- and it was bound to remind us all of what we've been missing for 10 years.

TOP 5 BROOKE SHIELDS LINES FROM BLUE LAGOON:

5. "I've seen you playing with it, and I'll tell your father ... IF he ever gets here."

4. "When it stops hurting, we'll do it."

3. "It doesn't scare them off unless I can spear them! "

2. "You're the best at everything, Richard! Now get off!"

1. "You're always staring at my buppies."

[Getty Images]

Behold the actual homes from 'Better Off Dead'

2009-07-09T09:24:44-04:00

Our Stuck in the '80s paparazzi is back on the prowl, this time shooting photos of the houses from 1985's Better Off Dead. Brad Williams, our SoCal correspondent, files this report:

I'm starting to feel a bit like a stalker. Nobody was around at the "Ricky Smith" house (right, at 1633 Virginia Avenue in Glendale, Calif.), but it looked like the owner had just gotten home at the "Lane Meyer" home (above, right across the street at 1636 Virginia Avenue in Glendale).

The interior of the garage is visible in the shot - I don't know if they used the house itself or just the exteriors in Better Off Dead, but if they did, that's where Lane Meyer first attempted to off himself in the movie.

I snapped a couple pictures from the middle of the street and headed back to my car before the owner emerged to question me.

The trees in the front of the house have been added since the film was shot, and a pull-through driveway cuts across where Lane's Camaro sat in an "auto cocoon," but the house is otherwise recognizable. No homemade space shuttles burst from the roof in the brief time I was there.

The "Smith" house looks just as I remember it from the film, with the big trees in the front and the small porch/stoop where Monique sat and laughed at Ricky's picture, although the lawn was a little ragged.

Enjoy!
-- Brad

Finally, a worthy 'Sid and Nancy' tribute

2009-07-09T06:21:18-04:00

Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen? The two stars of the upcoming movie (500) Days of Summer recreate a classic scene from the 1986 movie Sid & Nancy for a new video series.

It's called Cinemash, and it's brought to us from the clever-minded Mean Magazine. You can see the full clip right here. Next week, Cheech and Chong reportedly recreate the animated movie Tron, according to the always-hip Pop Candy blog.

By the way, my Stuck in the '80s co-host Sean Daly says (500) Days of Summer is really the "Steve Spears Story," if you look at the more tragic recent events in my personal life. See why by watching the movie trailer at his blog.

5 winners, 5 losers from Jackson's memorial

2009-07-08T17:14:47-04:00

Corey Feldman is seriously reconsidering his life's direction today after his M.J. impersonation at Tuesday's public memorial for Michael Jackson. But he's not the only celebrity who busted -- or even benefited -- from the ultra-hot world spotlight that afternoon.

TOP 5 BOUNCES:

1. JERMAINE JACKSON: The only Jackson brother to perform, he dazzled the crowd with his rendition of Smile, holding himself together perfectly until the final verse. Look for his hibernating solo career to get some fresh looks in the aftermath.

2. BROOKE SHIELDS: Ever since Tom Cruise attacked her for using prescription drugs to battle postpartum depression, Shields has seen a steady increase of public support. You bet folks were grabbing tissue as she struggled to hold her composure while speaking of her longtime friendship with Michael.

3. JENNIFER HUDSON: Forget the hokeyness of hearing Jackson’s spoken lyrics at the end of Hudson’s anthemic rendition of Will You Be There. After the 2008 murders of her mother and brother, the American Idol angel and Oscar winner -- baby bump showing -- is having a much better 2009.

4. LIONEL RICHIE: Just two days off an unexpected reunion with his Commodores bandmates in New Orleans, Richie took the stage in L.A. and delivered a classic, gospel take on his old hit Jesus Is Love.

5. SHAHEEN JAFARGHOLI/JUDITH HILL: Two names you probably hadn’t heard before, but you will now. Jarafgholi, 12, was a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent earlier this year. He won a standing ovation Tuesday for his take on Who’s Lovin You? (And he got his picture taken with Lionel Richie, above.) Hill was the “mystery singer” who led performers during We Are the World and Heal the World. The Pasadena, Calif., vocalist was to be a backup singer for Jackson’s shows this summer, according to Rolling Stone.

TOP 5 BUSTS:

1. MARIAH CAREY: It’s not that her duet of I’ll Be There with Trey Lorenz wasn’t perfect — it wasn’t and that’s something she admitted Wednesday on Twitter. But we bet there’s no apology coming for her neckline-plunging gown that wasn’t exactly funeral friendly. Mariah, it’s a memorial; not a music video.

2. DIANA ROSS: The person who has always been credited (deserved or not) for “discovering Michael” should have been there in the front row. “I have decided to pause and be silent,” Ross said in a statement. “This feels right for me.” It feels wrong to us.

3. QUINCY JONES: The producer behind Off the Wall and Thriller also skipped the memorial. “I won’t go to any more funerals as long as I live,” Jones said after Jackson’s death. Okay, Mr. Jones. Let’s hope your friends feel differently.

4. USHER: The neo-soul singer’s performance of Gone Too Soon took a turn for the worse when he started singing directly to Jackson’s casket. And the pause at the end to stifle a sob, followed by a group hug with the Jackson family? Even Hollywood wouldn’t buy that scripted ending.

5. COREY FELDMAN: The '80s teen star/reality show reject just tried TOO hard to fit in, wearing a full-on M.J. wardrobe including fedora, dark shades and military-style jacket. We bet he had to get his ticket through the lottery.

[AP, Getty photos]

Optimus Prime delivers Letterman's top 10 list

2009-07-08T13:11:20-04:00

A little love for the '80s cartoon fans out there: Optimus Prime on Letterman.