One of the worst things any server can battle is petty, needy
obnoxious people that are out to run you ragged and then get you in
trouble or fired over some meal. It happens for all kinds of reasons.
Some people feel they have no control over their lives and exert power
over people in customer service because they can. Others are just
cheap and want a free meal, even if it costs someone else their
livelihood. I have no sympathy for people like this. Fuck ‘em. An easy
tip off to petty folks is if they have a gift card from the last time
they complained. They are in there hoping to trip you up so they can
get a free meal and yet another gift card. Restaurants reward
assholes. It’s the simple truth. Always cover your bases. Let your
manager be aware of even the slightest issues with these kinds of
folks. That way it doesn’t come as a surprise.

Hello all,

After a birthday hiatus I am back! I went to an amazing hot springs resort in Calistoga, CA called Calistoga Spa Hot Springs. I highly recommend the resort if you are looking to make a trip to wine country, budget friendly and a huge spa and pool to relax at! Not to mention only minutes away from Twomey Cellars, Sterlings Vineyards, Castillo Di Amarosa…just to name a few.

I have been a wine lover for many years and since I live in close proximity to Napa Valley, I frequent wine country about 2-3 times a year. I wanted to share with you other industry folk one of the greatest perks that are associated with our jobs. If you are headed to Napa, Sonoma, Livermore, Temecula…any wine making region really…many of the vineyards and tasting rooms give industry rates if you bring a business card or pay stub that has your name on it and states what restaurant/bar/hotel you work at. My companion even showed her hot schedules profile at Sterling and she got comped.

I will list all the wineries and tasting rooms I have received discounted rates at for future reference for ya’ll to get your drink on at…..these rates may have changed due to the fact that it has been awhile since I visited some of these places….

Silver Oak in Oakville comped a tasting but you don’t get to keep the tasting wine glass like the full price tasting

Chandon in Yountville comped the entire tasting for two and we got to keep glasses

Sterling Vineyards comped completely for two and included the awesome gondola ride up to the winery (highly recommend taking this tour!)

Duckhorn: Don’t know if they comp tasting because I was there with a grower and already got comped but they give 30 percent off bottle purchases.

Mumm Napa: They do 2 for 1 industry rate and also a percent off bottle purchases

Merryvale: 100 % tasting comp and discounted bottle rates

V. Sattui: 2 for 1 tasting

Arrowood: This one I attended a private tasting with my manager and our wine rep but I am pretty sure they also comp tastings

Freemark Abbey: 100% tasting comp

Beringer Vineyards: 50% off comp if I remember correctly this one is worth it because of the beautiful grounds

Matanzas Creek: Also went here with a wine rep so not sure about industry rates but it is so beautiful here they also grow lavender and have their own line of lavender products

Robert Mondavi: 100% comp

Francis Ford Coppola: 100% tasting comp and free tour

These are just to name a few but you get the idea, wine country is basically service industry heaven…it doesn’t hurt to ask if they offer industry rates. Our jobs are pretty thankless and stressful at times and there aren’t many perks included so wine tasting for free kind of makes up for it right? Also, wine tasting is a great way to learn more about the products you are selling and can eventually help you make more money because you will be able to offer more insights and recommendations to your guests so a wine win for all!

So remember anytime you are headed to a wine region to do some tastings make sure to bring your pay stub or at least some business cards from your place of employment!

Cheers!!!!

Basic results can be seen here

I have been in the food service industry for about 34 years now and I
have to say every shift is an adventure. You never know, from one
table to the next, how they are going to tip. I believe that everyone
deserves amazing service and if you are unable to provide that or you
just don’t care, then you are in the wrong business. With that being
said, it kills me when people do not tip well. Especially when I go
out of my way to make their dining experience outstanding and unique.
Tonight, was one of the best nights ever. My very first table, party
of 4 plus a baby, made all of the other bad nights worth it. Their
bill came to $139.00, a great tip would be $26.00 and that would make
my night, but they left me $80.00. I had to look at the credit card
receipt a few times before it actually sank in. I finally felt
validation for my hard work and am very thankful that someone actually
appreciates and recognizes good service. This huge thank you goes out
to (C.C.) and her family. The tip was outrageous and not ever expected
again, but very much appreciated. Please come back to see me as long
as you do not over tip me.

Diane

This is my favorite scenario, and surprisingly it happens quite
often…

(Approaching the table for the first time)
Me: Hey folks, welcome to *Restaurant*, how is everyone doing today?”

Guest: I’d like a diet coke with lime.

Me: …

I work in a small breakfast joint, but were prety popular around town.
So it gets fairly busy on weekdays and SUPER busy on the weekends.We
have our share of regulars, some very pleasant and some you really
dont even want to deal with. Anyways, it was a Thursday afternoon, and
I was the last waitress on and soon closing the restaurant.

I had about seven tables they were all set and most had their bills. I
was starting to clean up, shut down the coffee machine (we are told to
stop brewing coffee at 2:25 & shut the machine down), wipe all the
counters down and by then there is only two tables left so I start
bussing and resetting. Through the door comes a woman and a man. I
look at the clock and its 2:29. Great. We arent technically closed so
I begin to serve them.

“Hello how are you? Having any coffee?”

“Decaf.”

“Sure.”

I bring them the decaf and they tell me what they are having and they
are VERY precise on the orders. It’s only breakfast! So after I put
the order in, as soon as I walk by to continue bussing tables,
“WAITRESS!” (I hate when people shout that.) “Yes?” “This decaf is
horrible. I need a fresh brew.”
I knew this was going to be an issue. So, I politely told him, “I’m
really sorry about that but its well after closing and I’ve already
shut the machine down. ”
He really didn’t like that. Not one bit. His face lit up in an EXTREME
rage. “What do you mean? Just turn the damn thing on and make a pot!”
I couldn’t believe he just said that to me. I was in shock.
“I’m…sorry? But I leave it off after 2:25. I can offer you iced
decaf if you like.”
“Ice decaf? Is this a fucking joke? I want a hot cup of coffee!”
At this point I walked away. I didn’t know what to do. After about a
minute I walk back over and they are already screaming at me the woman
says “you clearly don’t know the customers always right. You need to
learn a few more things. I hope you get fired. Cancel those plates and
your boss will hear about this! ”

I was so worked up I had to run in the Back and calm myself down. The
dishwasher patted me on the back he told me they come in all the time
and pulled the same thing .

The following Sunday he called my boss and tried to get me fired. My
boss told him never to come back again and the funny thing is he came
back in an hour later to eat! I know now that these people are sick
because they like to harass waitresses and see how they can make them
boil over. I’ve had them several times after and they always return
there plate at least once. They always bark at you. One time they
tried to record me.

Seasoned Vet, here again…I just had a first…this past Sunday was a
day that forever changed my faith in humanity. I get sat and the
seater interrupts my conversation with the manager to let him know
that the “problem lady” is back. She looks at me and says “Sorry! ”
He warns me about her…I look, and I know who it is. I have served
her and friends plenty of times. Today, there is only a total of three
condescending “bakcklayers”…Backlayer is a term I coined.
Definition-a woman that has probably never worked a day in her life,
has been given everything(cars, clothes, money, money, etc…) by her
husband that probably has a good job and thinks she is better than
everyone and all she does is lay on her back so her husband can have
his way with her whenever he sees fit. otherwise known as an
irrational sense of entitlement.

As I get to the table, before I even speak BL#1(problem lady,
BackLayer#1) informs the world it is her birthday and throws wrapping
paper directly at my face, says take that!” to which I swat away, and
reply “You must have me mistaken for someone else, I am not your
garbage can” “Anyway, welcome back ladies, good to see you, you all
look very nice today for this occasion” BL#2-”I wore this today, it
was a gift ftom my husband…blah, blah, blah” I start to glaze over,
and BL#3 chimes in…”I am thirsty, can I have a water with 2 lemons
today, since we are celerating and all…” I return with beverages and
and take their order, not writing down a thing and BL#2 says, “you
never write this stuff down, aren’t you afraid to screw it up?” ” Have
I mixed up your order in the past?” “NO,” she yells. “So, then why
wold you assume I would do it today, you order the same thing every
time you are here.” All three of them start talking down to me even
more, like they have something to prove. BL#1(problem lady) starts her
order, reading the menu like she is going to try something new. She
then proceeds to ask if we can make a menu item that has been off of
the menu for 10 months. I let her know we can, but that it will take a
little longer to make, because it isn’t readily available. “That’s ok,
as long as I get it…its my birthday and I am awesome!” “Sure.” A bit
later the food arrives and BL#2 asks for a box before she even takes a
bite of anything. “Is there anything wrong?” I ask. “No, I just know I
am taking some home, god you are stupid.” So, the verbal assault keeps
coming from the holier than thou backlayers for the rest of their
visit. They pay their separate bills and BL#1 stiffs me as usual, and
one lady left me $2. Yay, but at least they are gone. About 5 minutes
after their departure, BL#1 comes back in, and lets people know that
they are in her way…She is 5’11″ and upwards of 275lbs. She is a big
woman. While standing at one of my tables, I can smell some farts or
something that she laid as she went past. She is in the bathroom for
35 minutes. People are coming in and out of the bathroom covering
their faces, tables halfway across the restaurant can smell her foul
odor. People are actually compaining about the stench, and asking for
spray for the area. This is horrible. Eventually I see her sneak out
the side door. Someone was brave enough to check to make sure the
paint was still on the walls, when they arrive at a horrible
discovery. This lady, problem lady, BL#1, had pooped everywhere in her
stall. It was on the back wall, on the back of the toilet, on the
sides of the stall, on the floor, everywhere, only a little in the
toilet and some toilet paper. A manager cleaned it up.

I am unsure if this was a direct attempt to sabotage the place from a
57 year old crazed woman, or if she pooped herself on the way in. I
pray to all things holy, that this was an attack of karma. I really
hope she is so embarrassed, that she never comes back. She is the most
useless person, I have ever had the displeasure to meet. I am
pondering quitting and making her mishap known to others if I see her
in my place again.

Dear Kyle Smith:

I have been a server in various NYC restaurants for several years. I
am college educated, with a Bachelor’s in English Literature. I am
also a writer and a freelance publicist. I was not in the drama club.

For forty hours per week, I am on my feet answering questions, solving
problems, dealing with special dietary needs and constantly trying to
hold back my eye roll when a customer shoves his empty plate in my
face, smirks and says “clearly I haaaaated it.” Or keeping a straight
face when a woman asks me how her steak will come out if she orders it
medium-well. Or maintaining composure when an inebriated customer asks
me to please bring him a plate of cock. Yes, cock.

I love food. I love restaurants. I dine out at restaurants often. I
also love wine. I love communicating that love to people who are
interested in learning about how dishes are made and what goes into
sourcing those ingredients. I can tell you what breed of pig from what
farm is used to make our pate. I can tell you the name of the farmer
who hand picked our heirloom tomatoes. I will take the time out of my
very busy evening to explain to you the different between a pinot noir
from France and a pinot noir from California. I am happy to do that
because I love what I do and I want you to appreciate and enjoy your
dining experience.

You clearly have a different view on dining out. That’s fine. You are
welcome to feel however you want to, as long as you leave Jason his
20% tip at the end of the meal. You have no idea how hard we work.
When I get off work my legs are sometimes so swollen that my jeans
don’t fit right. I have constant back problems. I work holidays. All
of them. I explain to my family why I miss Christmas dinner, or why I
couldn’t get to that baby shower last week because I had a 14 hour
shift to work with a one hour break in the middle. I work. If you
don’t care about what you’re eating or how wide my smile is when I
describe how the truffles are sourced out of the ground in Italy and
then shaved onto your pasta, that’s your loss and your problem. But
leave me my tip.

I hope I never have to tell you tonight’s specials.

Best,
Katie Anne

“I don’t even need to know your name. By the time you tell me about the specials, I’ve already forgotten it. You’re a servant. So serve.” (An excerpt from his lovely piece about NYC waiters)

Remember this face everyone, Kyle Smith does not want to be served, he does not enjoy a dining experience, and he definitely does not want you to ask him how everything is. Oh yeah and by the way no matter what you do he doesn’t like you because you are just doing your job and is only going to tip 11 %. So NYC waiters remember this face because he seems to think waitstaff should be treated as servants because god forbid we say our…gasp…name when approaching a table. If Mr. Smith had any sense at all or had the chance to read through some of our stories here he’d know what serving tables is not always such a pleasure but guess what no matter how we feel about the guest we have to provide excellent service that meets the standards and policies of our establishment. So sorry for telling you the specials and making sure you have everything you need. Maybe you should write a letter to the owners of my restaurant and all the other restaurants in America and explain that you hate to be told the specials and it is so utterly inappropriate to be checked up on during you meal or offered dessert or coffee, I’m sure they will be happy to change their policies that have been working so well and making them millions.

Obviously Mr. Smith needs to pull his pretentious panties out of the twist in his ass and realize that this is how the service industry works in America and however much he wants us to know, “In France, where I try to spend a week or two every year, waiters don’t even work for tips (the customer is expected to leave a mere euro or two) and yet they’re so much less annoying”, those waiters work in France so pack up and GO THERE!! Also, from those of us who have been to Europe, usually a 15 % service charge is added to the bill as French laws require tips to be assessed for tax purposes. So maybe thats why the servers act like they don’t give a crap how you are doing and complete the bare minimum of the job as they are already guaranteed a larger tip than you so generously left for their American counterparts.

To anyone who is new to the site or has not worked in a restaurant before, it is filth like the article Kyle Smith wrote that perpetuates generalizations that industry folks deserve less respect. Read through some of our stories here, we have to deal with a whole lot more than just saying our name, specials, clearing some plates, and bringing drinks to the table. Each day at our jobs we experience pretentious people like Kyle Smith who think they are better than us, overtly disrespect us, and then tip 11% or worse just because. I have a suggestion for Kyle Smith when he is not in France, it’s called ordering To-Go, then there will be no one bothering you, you can dine in privacy, and the best part of all there is no tip expected at the end. The New York Post should have used better judgement before allowing this story to run, they will definitely not be getting my business in the future and Kyle Smith better hope to never visit San Francisco and try to dine out.

Read his article for yourself here. 

A few weeks ago, I get sat a 6 top, mom, dad, grandma, aunt, 2 kids,
one of which has a birthday. I hear about the birthday from the
seater. So, I walk up to the table and genuinely greet them. (Even
though I hate kids, lol. I usually give extra money to the seaters at
the end of a shift if they keep kids out of my section.) Anyway, it is
a slow Saturday lunch, so I am happy to have the 6. Everyone is
extrmemely pleasant at the table except grandma, her fresh-
pot-of-coffee-cup-of-coffee is too cold, I assured her I heated her
cup prior to filling it and that the pot was fresh. So, I grab the pot
to heat up her coffee a bit. With the steaming pot in my hand, she
takes another sip and says its cold. I apologize once again and assure
her there is not much else I can do. She then gets further upset and
while still standing there I pour the scolding hot coffee onto my hand
to demonstrate that it is in fact hot, and that I got burned by it. My
hand later blistered. I told her that by law we can not serve coffee
that could kill a small child. We covered the coffee and just got her
ice water. The other adults at the table are laughing their asses off
at her stupidity.

Everything else about the visit is great, once again all but crabby
granny. They are all nearing the end of their meal and granny strikes
again, “HEY! when is junior here getting his free dessert?” “I was
going to SURPRISE him with it along maybe another treat, after all of
your plates are cleared, as it is rude to force more food at you in an
attempt to rush you out of here,” I say. “Oh…well…” So, I clear
the plates and refill beverages one more time, and granny chimes in
again, loudly, and bitchy…”When is the FREE DESSERT COMING!”

I bring out our birthday dessert and only 2 spoons, not 6 and look at
the children and say, this whole thing is just for you.(It is a
massive dessert) Granny, still angry for no reason asks where is my
spoon? I remind her that it is junior’s birthday. I bring the bill
with a full charge for the dessert on it. Granny has to chime in of
course”HEY! WHY IS THERE A CHARGE FOR THE DESSERT ON THE BILL?!” I
replied, “the birthday dessert, under normal circumstances, is
complimentary, not free and automatic, and yes there is a difference.”
Granny paid and didn’t tip me. Dad pulled me aside and gave me $30, he
said he hates his mother-in-law and that he never had the balls to put
her in her place. Dad and his buddies come in once on a while and
request me every time.

- Seasoned Vet

I have been in the industry as a server and bartender either full or
part time for 13 years now. I have seen and heard some amazing things
in my time. I love the stories everyone, keep them coming.

Anyway…Being a server, I have to deal with stupid people, so instead
of biting my tongue, I say what I am thinking. I figured out a way to
be an asshole and have people love me for it. Most of them actually
tip me better, and some even come back and ask for me.(No, I never
worked at Ed Debevic’s) I even showed a buddy how to do it. Our
coworkers called us Mouth and Lips. We used to interrupt each other at
our tables and talk shit about the other to the guests, we made work
fun for everyone. But, my insulting guests is the topic here so
without further ado, my favorite insults;

Guest: “Where is my diet coke?”
Me: “I don’t know, I give up, where is it?”

Guest: “Do you have fat free french dressing here?”
Me: “I am sorry we do not, we carry fat free ranch, and then a few
viniagrettes that are low fat and low cal”
Guest: “NO FAT FREE FRENCH?! What is someone on a diet supposed to do
if restuarants don’t serve FAT FREE FRENCH?!”
Me(looking sly and smiling at her friends):”I would suggest, you don’t
go out to eat, dining at home can be much more healthy”

Guest(has ranch, french, and honey mustard in front of them): “I am
not sure I like your ranch dressing”
Me: “good thing you ordered 30 different kinds of dressing, one of
them will work out for you”
Guest: “But, I mean I really don’t like your ranch”
Me: “I am sorry, you feel that way, (shit grin) I don’t much like you,
but I am keeping that to myself”
Guest: “YOU, You, you are hilarious, I am requesting you next time I
come here to eat”

Guest: “How come everyone here is so happy?”
Me: “we actually like what we do for a living”
Guest: “that is strange”
Me: “Just because you hate life, doesn’t mean we have to”
Guest: “can I have an application?”

Guest: “My steak seems to be cooked medium well, is there any way you
can uncook this a little bit?”
Me: “Sorry about that…Unfortunately, our reverse grill is getting
fixed at the moment, but I will have them make you a new one”
Guest: “you have one of those?”
Me: “a new steak? Yes, we sure do!”

Guest: “you are really charming and handsome, you would be perfect for
my daughter”
Me: “thank you, but I don’t know her”
Guest: “I will give you her number, then I will let her know you are
calling”
Me: “Ma’am, I am not interested in dating you”

Guest: “I don’t really care for the clam chowder here”
Me: “I don’t really care for the looks your mother is giving me, now
we are even”

-Jeff

Dr. Michael Lynn is a professor of consumer behavior and marketing at the Cornell University School of Hotel Administration. He received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from the Ohio State University in 1987, and has taught in the marketing departments of business and hospitality schools since 1988. Dr. Lynn paid his way through school by waiting tables and bartending. This experience sparked his interest in service gratuities (tipping), a topic on which he has over 35 published academic papers. His other research focuses on consumer status and uniqueness seeking. Dr. Lynn is the past editor of the Cornell Hospitality Quarterly, and is currently on the editorial board of the Journal of Academy Marketing Science, which gave him an outstanding reviewer award in 2006

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These people were like an older kinda fancy looking couple. The lady ordered a side of bacon which she got but no other mention of bacon occurred during our interaction….weird. People leave the strangest notes sometimes.