Stumbling Towards Parenthood

Final update!

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Wed, 04 May 2011 13:37:00 +0000

Wow, I can't believe so much time has passed since my last post! I'll just write this one quickly because my baby is napping...

Short version: everything went well and I had a girl!

Longer version: the induction was... somewhat difficult. It took a long time for things to get going, but I was having painful contractions from the start. The whole thing took 24 hours from start to finish. I was SO glad I got an epidural! I am also still glad I was induced -- I was more than ready for the pregnancy to be over. And I was so surprised to have a girl!

The first few weeks were horrible. I tried to breastfeed but had to stop because she was latching wrongly and the pain was unbearable. I was so anxious about her all the time, and never felt like I knew what I was doing. But eventually things got easier and we are much more confident with her now. She sleeps pretty well and is growing fast. She's developing new skills all the time and is lots of fun to play with.

I think this is probably going to be my last post for the time being. As you can see from the huge gap in updates, I don't have a lot of time these days, and this feels like a natural place to stop. I've enjoyed keeping this blog, but I think it has served its purpose.

Thanks to those of you who've read and commented!

40w1d: Tomorrow!

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:11:00 +0000

Well, here we are. I was at the doctor's on Monday, he did a membrane sweep in hopes that it would get things started. There was some progress over the last few days, but I'm still pregnant, so I can't really say it worked per se :P

So I'm getting induced tomorrow. I know some people really don't like the idea of inductions, but I'm very sure that this is the right choice for me. I have been so anxious throughout this pregnancy, and when things have gone wrong for two of my sisters right at full term, this is a scary time. Being induced will put an end to the waiting and the uncertainty, and the idea of being under medical supervision right from the start of labour is very reassuring to me. Choosing this induction is my way of taking charge of things, just a little bit.

I'd like to say that I spent my last day of non-motherhood doing something necessary or meaningful or gloriously self-indulgent, but I am so tired and achy that I'm taking things pretty easy, chilling out on the couch and feeling my baby wiggling around. It's weird to think my pregnancy is almost over after all this time, and it's tremendously weird to be excited about gory, painful, embarrassing things happening to me. But I can't wait!

35w 5d: prelabour and getting ready

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 12:09:00 +0000

So, I'm getting to the end. I'm actually feeling better physically than I did a couple of months ago -- I think I've gotten more used to carrying the extra weight, and my iron levels must finally be OK because I don't feel so horribly tired any more. I can feel the baby running out of room; big kicks have been mostly replaced by pokes and fidgets, exactly like someone trying to get comfy in a cramped space. The baby is head-down, but sort of curled up sideways. It still has a bit of time to get into a better position, so I'm trying not to worry.

I am having a lot of Braxton-Hicks these days -- I actually ended up spending a night in hospital last week because they were getting painful and it looked like I might go into labour. But when I failed to produce a baby, they sent me home again :) I've taken this as my warning to start getting ready, though. I've bought most of the stuff for my hospital bag (including some clothes for the baby), I'm picking up a Moses basket from my sister later this week, and we bought a Moby wrap I'd had my eye on for ages. (Now to figure out how to put it on...) I'm also feeling very nesty, and keep going into frenzied bursts of tidying and organising. Which the apartment really needed, so this is no bad thing. It seems like I'm in what the books describe as prelabour, which apparently can last a month or more. I won't be at all surprised if I go before my due date, though... it just feels like things are starting to happen.

I still have worries; my fears of something going wrong with the pregnancy are now being joined by fears about how to actually look after a a baby. I am rather terrified at the idea that they're just going to hand us a baby and we have to take care of it and keep it healthy and happy and I don't feel like I know how to do any of this. But maybe nobody does. Most of the time, though, I'm excited and impatient to meet the baby.

30w1d: still here

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 12:09:00 +0000

Nothing much to report, except that I'm still pregnant and getting rapidly gigantic. I have been pretty anxious, but I'm trying to keep the worrying to a minimum. There are a lot of aches and pains now, and sleeping is getting harder and harder. I'm very much looking forward to February! For various reasons my hospital is going to try and induce me at 39 weeks, and I'm relieved that the pregnancy will be shortened by even a couple of weeks.

I am so looking forward to meeting our tiny person and really starting life as a family. It's strange, this person has been a part of our lives for seven months now, and we still haven't seen their face, don't know if they're a boy or a girl, don't really know anything about them. I'm impatient to get to know my baby.

23w 1d: low-maintenance parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 11:20:00 +0000

I'm quite enjoying this stage of pregnancy.

There are things that make me nervous about taking care of my baby while he (or she) is still inside. Mainly, I can't see him to check up on him; I have to wait for him to kick me so that I know he's ok. Plus, we're sharing a body -- if I get sick, he might get sick too. And little things, like I am starting to get a little tired from carrying this extra weight all the time... at least once he's born, I can put him down sometimes.

But on the other hand, there's so much I don't have to worry about right now! The baby gets fed automatically -- all I have to do is make sure I eat plenty myself. (Not. A. Problem.) I always know where he is. He doesn't cry. I can take him anywhere with me. He pees, but I don't have to do anything about it. He's never too hot or too cold. And yet, I feel more and more aware of the baby's presence -- especially when I'm getting lots of kicks, I don't feel alone even if there's nobody else at home. I'm hanging out with my kid.

So in a way, it's the best of both worlds.

22w0d

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:29:00 +0000

So, I haven't been updating here much lately. Since I went public about being pregnant, I've been talking more about it on my personal blog, and on a forum on another site. But I don't want to abandon this one.

The pregnancy is going well. I'm getting lots of kicks, and Don has been able to feel a couple of them too, and can even hear them if he puts his ear to my belly. (I'm a little jealous of that, but I also like that he and the baby can share something that's just between them.) We had the anatomy scan this week, and everything looked good -- it was great to see the baby wiggling around, swallowing and poking his or her tongue out.

I'm feeling ok in myself. There are aches and pains and mind-boggling boob itches, but nothing serious. Overall I'm enjoying pregnancy, which in my first trimester I thought would be impossible. I'm more than halfway through now and can't wait to meet my little person.

19w0d

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 11:42:00 +0000

So it's been a while since I posted here, and this will just be a quick update.

My pregnancy is going fine. But we have had a tragedy in the family; a few weeks ago, one of my sisters lost her baby, at full term.

As you can imagine, it's a difficult time right now.

But I have one little comfort -- I am getting more and more sure that I can feel my baby moving.

15w0d: keeping on

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:14:00 +0000

Things are still going well. The hospital appointment went fine -- the place is quite bureaucratic and a little overcrowded, but the staff seemed nice. They also seemed quite pro-breastfeeding, which is encouraging -- I think I disappointed the midwife a little bit, as she was all geared up to convince me I should BF, and seemed a little deflated when I said I'd already decided to do it. Don got a leaflet on how husbands can support breastfeeding mothers, which should have been titled "How to be a basically decent human being" -- it was full of useful advice like "Look after the baby for a little while so that your partner can sleep or have a bath," "Help out around the house so your partner can feed the baby," and "Spend time with your baby in order to bond." YOU DON'T SAY.

I had another scan, which was fun. Baby was standing on its head and waving its hands around -- we could see all the fingers and toes, as well as the spine, which looked like a little feather. I also got a blood test and they said I was anaemic, so I've been put on some heavy-duty iron tablets, and have been feeling a lot better since: less tired, less down, less out of breath.

After the hospital appointment we broke the news about the baby -- mainly on Facebook. That was a big relief because we don't have to keep things secret any more. And it was nice to get congratulated by everyone :)

Overall I'm very glad to be out of the first trimester -- I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be, and the whole thing was quite a shock. Now onward and upward!

12w1d: still here

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 20:14:00 +0000

Just checking in. Things are going well. I'm a lot less depressed now and starting to get my energy back, and my boobs are much less sore. And I have more of a bump -- well, sometimes! In the mornings I just look a little fat, but by night-time I look very pregnant. I've had to switch to maternity tights and, because I couldn't find any maternity jeans to fit me, I'm getting a belly band so I can keep wearing my old trousers for a little while.

Haven't had any more bleeding in a while now, and I'm feeling more relaxed about things. I have my booking-in appointment with the midwives in a week, and assuming that goes well I'm prepared to tell everyone about the baby. Although I think people would start to figure it out by themselves pretty soon...

9w4d: Fooooood om nom nom

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:12:00 +0000

I was all set to see if I'd get cravings for obscure foods. I had a couple of weeks where I was really keen on yogurt, then got really into grapefruits for a while. Now I'm just sort of obsessed with food in general -- I want everything I see people eating on TV, and everything I hear mentioned. I'm literally lying awake some nights thinking about corned beef, or kosher hot dogs from this one railway café in Germany (sob). I was telling my parents about this today, and my dad pulled out a piece of paper and asked for a list of everything I'd like him to make for me (he's a great cook). So I rattled off a list -- homemade granola, pineapple upside-down cake, cornbread, fishcakes with cheese sauce, gazpacho, Jamaican sweet potato pudding, a particular kind of potato salad, coleslaw, atole, hummus, and more... He looked a bit panicked when he realised how long the list was getting, but then got excited by the challenge. So, over the next month or two he's going to make all this stuff (some of which I haven't even eaten since primary school). It's pretty nice of him, I think :)

Aside from the food obsession, things have been up and down. I have distinct good days and bad days; Saturday I had a total meltdown (starting with early-morning nightmares), spent half the day in bed, and was convinced this pregnancy wasn't going to last. I had to miss my brother's 30th birthday party, which I felt really bad about even though he totally understood (his wife had a baby earlier this year). Yesterday and today I feel completely fine -- healthy and sane and happy, as if Saturday never happened. So, to use a hideous cliché, I'm taking things one day at a time and just enjoying the good days when I have them. Also, I'm having a lot less nausea, which is great.

Oh, and I have a bump of sorts! Well, I know it isn't actually made of womb or baby, but clearly my organs are being all pushed out of place, because my belly is sticking way out all of a sudden. I can still fit into most of my jeans because I live in the past and wear baggy low-rise ones, but I have to wear my belt really loose now, especially when I'm eating. Anything tight on my belly feels really weird (I had to cut the waistband off a pair of tights the other day, while I was wearing them). It's probably not something another person would notice unless they were looking for it, but if I'm wearing something clingy I definitely look pregnant. Yay!

8w6d: Scan update

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:04:00 +0000

So, the scan went well (aside from the fact that it felt like I was getting my bladder ironed). There is just the one baby (thank goodness); it has a heartbeat and it wiggles around. We got photos and a nice little video clip.

The hormones are not being kind to me. I am wavering in my determination to honestly describe my experiences; I wrote a post describing how I feel at the moment, and I had to delete it. I know I just have to wait this out, but I hate feeling that I'm missing out -- I want to feel joyful and excited, and most of the time I'm just... not.

8w 4d: leaving my catsuit at home

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 22:18:00 +0000

So, my early scan is tomorrow! I called the clinic to ask what I needed to do by way of preparation. The seemingly 90-year-old receptionist said nothing for aaaaaages, then croaked, "Just wear comfortable clothes."

I am a little perturbed that they felt the need to specify this for a medical examination. Do a lot of women turn up in PVC catsuits?

8w1d: quick thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:27:00 +0000

1. Maternity sleep bras are the best! I'd never heard of them until I saw them mentioned in one of my pregnancy books. They're like a sports bra, but made of cotton instead of, like, sport fabric, and they keep everything nice and anchored so it's less uncomfortable at night. Definitely worth the money.

2. I've realised what these hormonal mood swings remind me of: being a teenager. I was mildly annoyed over something yesterday, and suddenly found myself overcome by this sense of towering rage that was completely beyond my control. It was just like being 14 and epically pissed off at my parents. At least at this age, I have a bit more of an idea of what's going on and what to do (sit outside taking deep breaths until I calm down somewhat). But it's that same feeling of being taken over by these waves of emotion, like something bigger than myself.

3. When you haven't had any kind of medication in two months, and then you take some paracetamol because you seem to be coming down with something, it makes you feel extremely mellow.

7w6d: doing better

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 16:07:00 +0000

In the last few days the hormones have settled down a bit, and I haven't been so tired (largely because I'm sleeping till 11am), so I'm feeling a bit more positive. My sister, whose youngest baby is five months old, gave us some old newborn clothes, and we had a lot of fun squeeing over them. I still can't fathom how a human being can be SO TINY OMG.

I've had some very light spotting, which I know is normal but it still made me nervous. In the end I decided it would help put my mind at rest if I could get a scan and just confirm that there was a heartbeat -- I know if it gets to that stage, the chances are good. So I rang a clinic and I have a scan set for next Tuesday. I'm so excited about getting to see our little blobby person!

Also I got a letter from the hospital; my first appointment with the midwives is in early August, much sooner than the GP said it would be. I'm very relieved about this.

7w 4d: but on the plus side, I'm now extremely busty

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 11:50:00 +0000

To backtrack a little: I spent the time from age 15 to age 22 on the Pill. I still feel angry when I think about those years, which should have been some of the best of my life, and instead passed in a haze. I was often depressed -- sometimes severely -- and just couldn't handle the challenges of ordinary life. I thought that was just my personality, until I finally came off the Pill. It was like waking from a nightmare, and I never looked back. There have been bad days since then, but nothing on that scale.

So, you know the way the Pill works by simulating the hormones of pregnancy?

...Yeah.

These hormones just don't agree with me. I'm not as bad as I was back in those days, but I've been steadily getting more depressed for a few weeks now. Everyone says it will get better in the second trimester, and I'm just waiting for the days to pass. I was hesitant to write about feeling this way, because I know how lucky I was to get pregnant so quickly, and I don't mean to seem ungrateful, but it just wouldn't be honest of me to pretend everything is fine. I am, at least, experienced enough to recognise these feelings for what they are and to ask the people around me for help. But mostly it's just a case of waiting it out.

6w 1d...

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:34:00 +0000

...and the hormones are kicking my ass.

I've been feeling a lot of nausea -- some days I'm ok, but some days, eating anything (or just standing up and moving around) makes me feel really sick and miserable. I can't figure out any pattern to what foods cause it, and I'm so sick of feeling this way that on bad days I'm reluctant to eat anything except really plain foods like rice and pretzels. These foods get a little bit boring after a while.

Partly because this is stressful, partly because of low blood sugar (well, it's hard to meet all your caloric needs when you're living on rice), and I think largely because of hormones, I haven't been very pleasant company the last few days. I'm crabby and moody; sometimes I wake up in a boiling rage, and the other night I ended up crying bitterly for some reason I can't even remember now. It's like PMS, only I haven't had PMS like this since I was 15.

In other words, I'm a stereotypical pregnant woman. All I'm missing is a desperate longing for some obscure food.

----------------------------

In other news, I've been looking through my options for medical care. This has been awfully confusing, as it's hard to find out exactly what the different types of care are like, and what my insurance will cover. Eventually I figured out that I can't really afford private care, so it was between semi-private and public. I was all set to go semi-private, because regular hospital care in Ireland is the stuff of nightmares* and I was afraid I'd have to wait a day to be admitted and then give birth on a trolley in a corridor, attended by some frazzled nurse at the end of a 72-hour shift. But I talked to my sisters, who've all given birth several times, and they said the maternity hospitals are different and not nearly as bad as the regular ones. (Although apparently the hospital staff are disturbingly polite if you go private.) So, I've decided to go public after all. I'm still nervous (maternity care here is still not without its share of terrifying scandals -- you may want to skip these links if you're actually pregnant, they're fairly upsetting). But my sisters have put most of my fears at rest, and I'm reasonably happy with this choice.

What it means, in practical terms, is that I'll be seen entirely by midwives, and the birth will be attended only by midwives, unless there's a problem (I'll be right in the hospital, so there'll be doctors around if I need one). I'm fine with that. And the money we're saving will buy a lot of nappies.

*For the record, I'm very pro-public healthcare in principle. I spent three years in England and got great care on the NHS -- I had the best GP I've ever known, had a great physiotherapist when I needed one, and received prompt treatment in a clean and quiet A&E department on a Friday night, which is just not something that happens in Dublin. So yeah, public healthcare can work really well; it just happens to be terrible where I live.

Cover stories

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 21:41:00 +0000

So, in the past week or two I've had to turn down quite a few social invitations. Between the bouts of dizziness/queasiness and the unpredictable sleepiness, I just don't feel much like going out, and probably wouldn't be great company anyway. It doesn't actually bother me -- I'm pretty introverted and often don't really enjoy late nights out anyway (Dublin city centre on a Friday night will do that to a person). But generally, I need to give people a reason why I'm not going to their party/barbecue/box social/drinks with the gang/other form of shindig. I can't tell the truth, but I don't like lying unneccessarily either. So far, I've come up with the following half-truths:

I'm not feeling too well. (Ranges from not strictly true to oh so very true. But if I overuse it, people will think I'm either dying or... pregnant.)
I have a family thing on. (Pregnancy is the ultimate family thing!)
I'm babysitting. (Well, I'm taking care of a baby, right? And this one's really well-behaved!)
I'm working on a big crafting project. (It's going to take ages, and you're not allowed look till it's done.) (Ok, I haven't actually used this excuse. Yet.)

So, anyone else have any good cover stories?

-------

Nothing much new in the way of pregnancy symptoms -- although I did start crying at a camera ad on TV, so I suspect I may be getting more hormonal. Another good sign! If deeply embarrassing.

5 weeks!

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 12:16:00 +0000

So, today I'm five weeks pregnant. The queasiness and dizziness have improved, but I'm still peeing a lot, and my boobs are SO SORE. Hugging anyone, especially a skinny person, is a bad idea! I would very much like a protective steel bra, lol. Or that boob-armour the chicks wear on the covers of RPGs. I'm also feeling more tired; I did a gentle half-hour walk yesterday and arrived home exhausted and out of breath. Even I'm not usually that unfit! Oh, and my sense of smell is still doing odd things -- I seem to have developed a phenomenal ability to smell bins from a distance.

I'm nervous about everything going ok -- I think I'd be more confident if I was feeling worse. But I did another test the other day and it turned positive really quickly (there was a test line before the control line even appeared), and I'm definitely having some symptoms every day, so I'm trying to relax. I'm just a natural worrier! But with every day that goes by, I'm believing in this pregnancy more, and I'm falling in love with this baby more. I say hello to it every morning and goodnight every evening (although in the absence of a bump, I've had to resort to talking to a small freckle on my belly, which is probably bigger than the baby at this stage, but it gives me something to focus on).

I met up with a friend who doesn't know I'm pregnant. But she started grilling me on whether I was pregnant, whether we were trying, what did "we'll see" mean, etc. I gave one polite non-answer after another, and she just kept pushing. I didn't feel like answering any of her questions, and I know how painful this line of questioning can be for a lot of people, and part of me really wanted to explain to her that none of these questions are appropriate unless the other person actually seems to want to talk about the issue. Most of me, though, just wanted to change the subject. She's not someone I'd want to tell if anything went wrong early on, and so there was no way I was going to tell her I was actually pregnant. I think I may steer clear of her for a while.

Anyway, annoying people aside, things are going well.

Dinner with the family

noreply@blogger.com (Don) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:18:00 +0000

We had already arranged to meet with my family for dinner on Saturday so we decided it would be a good time to tell them that Betty was pregnant. My parents, my brother and one of my sisters were in town (my other sister is working in Turkey), so we reserved a table at a Moroccan restaurant we like. When we arrived we discovered that two of our friends were also at the restaurant. This put us in an awkward position - if we told my folks about the baby then our friends were bound to notice (we were expecting an OTT response from my sister). Betty and I gave each other a look and decided to wait it out, hoping our friends would leave soon. Thankfully they were already on desserts when we arrived....

About an hour and a half later they left. After dessert they had the longest chat ever, while we sat at a nearby table trying to come up with something else to talk about with my family. Just before they left my dad left the table to get some fresh air (I'm guessing to have a quick smoke... seriously, who starts smoking at 48?), so we had to wait for him to get back. As he sat down we breathed a sigh of relief and told them the good news.

My sister started squeeing and shouting "I knew it I knew it I knew it!!!" straight away. She also drummed her feet under the table with excitement - I've never seen that in real life before. Everyone was pleased (though my mother insists that the kids will have to refer to her by name, none of this 'granny' nonsense. We'll see about that. My sister then began thinking about what she could do to insure her status as the 'cool auntie'.

My dad gave us a lift home in his car. This meant four of us squashed into the backseat. This freaked Betty out a bit, as there weren't enough seat belts for everyone. We've both gotten a lot more leery of taking chances with road safety 'n stuff of late. We got home safely, of course.

I'm considering telling one of my friends (the guy at the restaurant, actually), but haven't quite made up my mind yet. I probably will, but at this point so many people know that I'm reluctant to tell any more.

Pregnant! Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:38:00 +0000

So, after I got the test result I hesitated for a moment. It didn't seem very nice to wake up Don at five in the morning, but I couldn't wait to tell him the news. Neither of us got very much sleep after that :) He left for work early so he could come home early, and I had breakfast and went out to the doctor.

The doctor visit was not at all what I was expecting. I was expecting to get weighed and prodded and stuck with needles, but he didn't do any of that stuff -- just congratulated me and talked me quickly through my healthcare options. (I'll probably do another post on that at some point.) It turns out my GP visits will be free now, which is really nice, because €50 a visit can add up quickly! And he confirmed that I can't take my hayfever meds, which is... less nice.

I'd had the impression that there'd be a scan fairly early on, but it seems here they don't routinely scan you until 14-16 weeks. I'm a little disappointed but ah well.

Yesterday evening we told my family, who were all really excited (except for my currently 7 months pregnant sister, who texted "Congrats... It's like being in prison..."). I had thought my mother would be a bit underwhelmed because she already has a gazillion grandchildren, but she was delighted. And my dad was thrilled because this is his first grandchild! This afternoon I told my best friend, who was super-excited, and tomorrow we'll tell Don's family. That's all the people we're telling for now, though. You know, aside from the internet.

Emotionally I'm feeling good! I feel a little bit teary-eyed occasionally, but in a good way. (At one point I saw some 13-year-olds on a day trip from summer camp, thought, "My baby will one day go to summer camp!" and nearly started crying in the middle of O'Connell Street. I got a grip on myself after that.)

Physically I do feel odd -- a bit tired, a bit queasy on and off, more prone to motion-sickness than usual (and periodically dizzy in the way I usually am after a long train trip or flight). I'm rather thirsty and also peeing more,* and my boobs are sore all of a sudden (about the same level as when I'm PMSing). I'm having some crampy pains like period pains... they do make me a little nervous but The Books say that they're normal, just caused by my womb growing. I think I'm noticing some smells more -- someone on the bus yesterday smelled so badly of cigarettes that I had to change my seat, and I could smell someone's beer from the other side of the garden at Yamamori tonight.

All in all it's been a good couple of days.

*I've already realised I'm going to be one of those TMI-ish pregnant women. Might as well embrace it.

Worked like a charm!

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 10:32:00 +0000

So, we had decided that I'd do one more test yesterday (day 28) and then officially give up on this cycle because, though I've felt a little bit off, I'd already had two negative tests and wasn't feeling anything dramatic enough to contradict them. I woke up yesterday morning at 5am needing to pee, and thought I'd better do the test then.

So, still half asleep, I peed on the stick, and squinted at it blearily as the window started to darken. Here comes the control line... no test line yet... oh hello there... wait, what? That's too easy, it can't be right. I must have just zoned out for twenty minutes or something... I actually had to check the time; three minutes hadn't even passed and there was a light but definite second line.

I'm pregnant!

How is a baby like a suitcase?

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 17:04:00 +0000

I'm not usually superstitious, but I bought pads today.

How is this superstitious? Well, to backtrack a little: when we went on our honeymoon, our luggage went missing. It didn't turn up the first evening, and it wasn't there the following morning. We were starting to get anxious (as well as feeling grim from wearing the same clothes and not brushing our teeth two days running), and finally we said, "You know what? If we start buying replacement supplies, our luggage will definitely turn up." And so it happened: we went to the chemist, bought new toothbrushes and deodorant and sunblock, and returned to the hotel to find our suitcases waiting for us. I've had airlines lose my luggage many times, and this technique always works: buy some replacement stuff, and your cases will magically return to you.

So I was at the supermarket this afternoon, and when I was going through the pharmacy aisle, I thought, "Hm, am I going to need pads this month? If I don't buy them, I'm definitely going to get my period. If I do buy them, luggage logic predicts that they'll sit unused in the bathroom cupboard for nine months." Worth a try, right? ;)

(If it doesn't work this time, I'm going to fork out €30 for a Mooncup next month. That should get me knocked up with twins.)

Just confused now

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 09:43:00 +0000

I'm stumped. Another test yesterday (11dpo) was negative, but I am so tired the last couple days, and I felt really sick and dizzy for hours yesterday evening. Could be I'm just not well, or could be I'm PMSing; I just don't know.

Ok, I cracked

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Sat, 29 May 2010 19:55:00 +0000

Today was the second birthday party of one of my nephews. There were a bunch of babies and toddlers there, and at one point as I was watching one of my sisters with her little baby, I felt such an urge to go pick up my baby for a cuddle. I'd half turned to look for him and almost put out my arms to pick him up. Then I remembered that I don't actually have a baby, lol. This probably sounds really sad and depressing, but it was just odd rather than upsetting. Although for some reason I then didn't feel comfortable picking up any of the actual babies, which I usually rush to do.

On the way home, I went to the chemist to buy a test since they'll be closed on Sunday, but there was a mix-up and they sold me a Clearblue instead of a First Response (Clearblue doesn't work as far in advance). Since I got two tests, I decided on impulse to use one of them, even though I knew it was too early, especially with this brand. It was negative, of course, but I'm really not too bothered -- I would have been amazed to get a positive result.

I'm less sick today, and I honestly don't know how to feel about that... anyway, I'll test again in a few days.

One week down, one to go

noreply@blogger.com (Betty) — Fri, 28 May 2010 11:18:00 +0000

So, I estimate I'm at 8dpo. There's been no spotting, and some cramps; like I said, it's pretty common for me to have cramps at this point in a cycle. I haven't been feeling very well since Saturday, but I can't figure out if it could be early pregnancy symptoms or if I'm just sick, haha.

I'd planned to hold off on testing until the middle of next week, but I may crack and get a First Response sooner than that. We'll see.