stumptown pileon

The Elephant in the Room, the Portland Zoo's Elephant Program

2011-05-29T15:06:37-07:00

On June 11th, animal advocates from all over the country will embrace the 'International Day of Awareness for Elephants in Zoos' by holding demonstrations outside of their city zoos. In Portland,
Oregon I will stand with them.

I expect to see parent's arms reach out hurriedly to gather their children away from "the crazies". Some will go as far to yell things like "get a life" (so original). But a few may be curious enough to ask why we would take a Saturday away from friends, family, and all the "to do" lists of our daily lives and stand in front of a zoo, signs and leaflets in hand.

When the Zoo's latest baby elephant was born, Samudra or (Sam as he is more often called), I read a scathing article in the Oregonian by Award winning Journalist Jonathan Nicholas.

He begins his article:

"Portland seems hugely proud of the new baby elephant at its zoo. What the city should feel is ashamed.

The new calf is not really an elephant. It's a caricature of an elephant, a shadow of an animal, a hapless beast that that all too soon will be exhibiting every known sign of severe trauma.

The terrible truth is that the 300-pound infant over which we're being invited to ooh and aah is a compromised creature in a contemptible cage. Putting such an animal on public display is as appalling today as it was in the time of the Romans.

That was when zoos began, as the playthings of plutocrats. For thousands of years, potentates dispatched their armies hither and yon to pillage and plunder. Among the treasures hauled home were "exotic" creatures displayed to amuse the masses.

By the 1850s, this exhibitionist offshoot of imperialism had "evolved" into the municipal zoo, an institution that hurried to cover its freak show nakedness with the figleaf of an educational mission. In 1906, it must have been that passion for pedagogy that led the Bronx Zoo to exhibit a pygmy in a cage alongside its apes.

It's still a rite of parental passage to take kids to the zoo, exposing them to displays of institutionalized trauma, inviting them to gaze with wondrous eyes upon obvious suffering and interpret it as normal."

In 2008 the voters approved a measure to increase the size of the elephant enclosure to 6 acres (although much of that space will be taken up with enclosures, the space woefully still inadequate for creatures of this size who in the wild would roam an area of 30 miles or more in one day). What many Portlanders may not know is that the Portland zoo has plans to continue breeding captive elephants therefore negating the extra space they have promised. Also, no longer on the table seems to be the quest for a 100 acre sanctuary with 12 million originally earmarked for facilities on that site.

Baby elephants are big business and our zoo knows it all too well. But what happens to little Sam and the next male baby elephant when he becomes the rambunctious teenager nature intended him to be? He will be separated from the other elephants for "safety" where he will begin the rest of his lonely life in almost constant isolation. He can then spend his days head bobbing and pacing in the sad and neurotic way of his predecessors with nothing to occupy an intelligent mind.

I have always been proud to live in Portland, known for our progressive thinking and innovative approaches to the challenges we face in a modern world. But when will the people of Portland stand up and demand that elephants do not belong in zoos? Will the real lovers of Packy the Elephant ever see him free in an elephant sanctuary? It doesn't seem likely.

The challenge to our Portland Zoo is to stop running itself as a big for profit corporation and heed its own mission statement "Inspiring our community to create a better future for wildlife." Until then the true lovers of the elephants will continue to spread the word that a cage is no place for an elephant.

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." Mahatma Gandhi

A Blustery Scavenger Hunt

2011-03-16T16:51:59-07:00

Rain, rain, rain, bluster, bluster, bluster. As Oregonians we are used to getting on with the events of our lives regardless of our soggy shoes and web toes.
So when my good friend, Denise, turned 40 and regardless of the stormy day...we Sea Hags decided to put together something a little different. It was decided during cocktails that we would make (force) Denise to scavenge all over the town of Oceanside (the land of the Sea Hags) for an array of gifts and surprises and other oddities which we deemed fit for a 40th birthday.

Each participate was responsible for their gift or surprise and to make up a clue as to where in the town it could be found. (one can easily walk all of Oceanside). At each "station" Denise would find her gift, some new Hags waiting to join the ever expanding march, and a new clue. The play began when Lisa lured Denise to her cabin for a decorating consult (something we knew Denise would not be able to resist). Here she was given her first clue (actually a warning) about what was about to happen.
What ensued was great hilarity, near death drowning and horribly bad singing.

Of course, we made her the most obnoxious crown we could possibly come up with and then to add insult to injury we covered it in a gigantic plastic bag! (I said we were true resourceful Oregonians!)

Her head became so ENORMOUS that she had to duck down under the rafters to get out of the cabin!

Here was the next clue:

You may think this crazy,

But please, just walk down 'Daisy',

Look up in the sky,

And soon you will spy,

the next Hagalicious surprize!

We then lowered more 40th birthday adornment...A giant Tutu!

Mags and Denise in Birthday Tutu finery!

Our next clue involved following a trail of black beard like hair on duct tape! Here is the clue....

Oh, what the f***k,

At forty you must pluck,

Or mistaken for Bigfoot your fate,

So follow the hair,

it will help you get where,

a bigfoot might find a hot date!

This was some of the most fun of the whole day as her best friend from college days, Yuri, was hidden in one of the cabins and waiting to attack! Following the trail of hair on duct tape was also rather interesting as the wind rearranged the blobs of tape and hair. (I hear residents were finding globs of duct tape with hair on them for weeks after.)

Followed by the next clue which involved some really bad singing (I warned you!)

We continued to plague Denise with each ensuing clue, climbing down steep, slick embankments, wading through muddy
lawns,then laughing wildly at the sheer insanity of our determination and utter sogginess.

Finally a brief break for us, and an embarrassing encounter for Denise at the local coffee shop. (Thanks 'Brewin' in the Wind' for being such a good sport.)

Back out to the elements and then the most hair raising clue of all. Fellow Hag, Vicky, felt that Denise needed a 'right of passage' into her new decade. So what better way than a journey into the dark side...Drum roll here....the dreaded Oceanside tunnel!

Of course, just getting there had it's own set of problems as the tide was high and the wind was whipping the waves into a frenzy.

This is where Yuri ruined her 400.00 pair of shoes!! (That's her screaming expletives). Being basically a chicken I decided to wait on terra firma and within 911 reach.

Inside the forbidden cave..........

Luckily my visions of rescue helicopters did not materialize. Denise was able to retrieve her message in a bottle which was her clue to where coctails and a warm fire awaited!

Somehow the near death experience made Vicky's cocktail party all the more incredible.

Coctails served were "Lucy Side Cars" and the beautiful red was called a "Bella" both recipes from Lucy Brennan known for her wonderful mixes served at "Mint" restaurant in N. Portland.

A much needed break in the cutest cabin ever! Thank you Becky and Jennifer!

Bedraggled and soaked but we left her alive!

Our scavenger hunt ended with one last surprise. Denise's husband and boys had slipped down to Oceanside and were waiting to ambush her back in Lisa's beach house (complete with streamers and tacky decorations!)

Our day ended with a big dinner complete with decorations fit for a 40th birthday, old photos, black crepe paper and inappropriate glittering projects played homage to our own 'Martha Stewart', Denise we love you!

The caption read "Some glittering projects never quite got off the ground"

A well appointed table..........

Vicky and Denise at dinner...my what a long day.

Ok, there is really no literary value of this picture except that it just has to come out.

And so as Yuris' peace symbol climbs slowly up Janis's nose we end another Oceanside Sea Hag adventure. Much love to all the Sea Hags who braved the elements and each other to make Denise's 40th Birthday a day of great laughter and true terror.

And that my dear readers is the end of the story...Peace out!

shore shower happiness

2010-08-10T15:41:00-07:00

I was at a party the other night, and a girlfriend and I began waxing poetic about the romance, luxury, and oddly soothing feeling of water running down your body while communing with mother nature. From those early squealing childhood days of leaping through through the lawn sprinkler, to that 'almost a movie' moment when you got caught in the rain with your first love, some of our very best memories can involve that one simple pleasure. Perhaps it's that feeling that makes us want to belt out our own special rendition of 'Honky Tonk Woman' every time we step in the shower. (I'm not suggesting that you do that.)

Anyway, we built a shore shower last year in our backyard. It quickly became part of a daily hot tub and hot shower ritual. Definitely, the aaaah part of the day, and a place where we can relax and reconnect with ourselves and each other. The hot tub allows you to use the shower even when its brrrrrrrr outside. And in the summer... well, need I say it, cold outdoor shower.......Heaven.
(As well as an instant attitude adjustment.)

Our shower is made entirely of recycled lumber. We are lucky to live in very sandy soil and so drainage was merely a large pod of gravel. If you are in a more clay soil you may want to do some more serious drainage maneuvers. Something that would send the water to the garden might be nice.

If you plan on going O' natural (duh), you do have to have just the right outdoor set up, but if you have the right place, yea baby, get naked, get clean, and get your happy place movin' and groovin' again!

Passing of a Portland Icon, Cartoonist John Callahan

2010-07-25T12:13:10-07:00

Today I heard the news that John Callahan died on Saturday. Today a little spark in my life is gone. Torn from the Willamette Week and stuffed in my pocket, later to be taped to my computer or refrigerator his cartoons reminded me that; although life is serious business, it is a mistake to take it too seriously.
His special brand of dark, satirical humor where truly there are no sacred cows was refreshing.
Everyone and everything was fair game, and in that way all things are level. His unique brand of humor and big nosed characters felt as though no matter who he was poking fun at, he was actually poking fun at himself.

I shall miss the oddly comforting sighting of him, zipping along in his wheelchair. A sighting that told me, the world will be OK, Callahan is monitoring our progress.

The poop on the party line. Portland's party line sewers

2010-06-29T13:39:51-07:00

You may soon be putting some partying money aside, and I'm not talking about your brother's bachelor party either. Turns out that the dirty little secret here (watch out I might just be getting started with some very bad puns), is that if your sewer line is of the party variety the city can mandate that you (at your expense) disconnect from the party and reroute your own line to the street. This can cost anywhere from 1,000 to 10,000 dollars depending on the complexity of getting your line to the street. Now it seems to me that no one I know ever made the decision to be part of a party line in the first place, so why it is the responsibility of the homeowner now to correct this decision by the water commission could make for an interesting discussion. But I digress.

So how does one find out if they are a party pooper? (I warned you it might get bad) If you are buying a house I would strongly suggest that you have a sewer scope done. For a mere $125.00, Matt n' Mels will provide you with a movie DVD of the inside of your sewer (Bring your own popcorn). Now here is the where the "sh-- hits the fan", if you are on a party line, you are responsible for having it disconnected. If you are the main line then an email to the city (so you have a way to prove that you contacted them) is in order. You should ask them "What is my liability?" and keep a copy of their response. This will probably set in motion an unfortunate set of circumstances for your would be new neighbor who is on the off shoot to the party line as now the city KNOWS (ominous music swells).

If you find that YOU (and when I say you, I mean the house that you are planning on purchasing) are on the auxiliary party line, then, A) some serious negotiations with the seller are probably in your and your real estate agent's future or B) Time to "Step out the back, Jack" this may not be a wise buy for you. (That is, unless, of course, you don't care about spending an additional 10 grand "cos you REALLY have to have that house!)

Either way this is one party, you'll probably want to miss!

Portland drops fees to spur development « Daily Journal of Commerce – Building and Construction News in Portland, Oregon and the Pacific Northwest

2010-06-20T14:08:37-07:00

I was just at coffee with a friend of mine and we were discussing the ins and outs of changing her garage into a separate apartment. I had heard through the real estate grapevine that the city was going to wave fees for permitting this type of thing, and low and behold here is an article about that just that! A pretty nifty way to make some extra cash to pay the mortgage!

Portland drops fees to spur development

POSTED: Thursday, May 6, 2010 at 12:29 PM PT
BY: Justin Carinci
Tags: Ben Shook, Portland City Council, system development charges

Ben Shook, principal of Ben Shook Studios, said the development of accessory dwelling units could take off in response to Portland’s suspension of system development charges. Shook is building such a unit behind his Northeast Portland home. (Photo by Dan Carter/DJC)

Builders and developers in one residential niche say they’re preparing for a big increase in business now that Portland City Council has eliminated fees temporarily. For the next three years, homeowners who build or convert space on their land into a second living unit won’t have to pay city charges that would have cost them $7,000 to $15,000. Joe Robertson, manager of ADU Building Co., has built accessory dwelling units, or ADUs, since 1998, when city zoning changed to allow them. Few people build the units because of the system development charges that go to various city bureaus, Robertson said. “What kept people from building … without a doubt it’s the budget,” Robertson said. “Of an $80,000 project, $14,000 of that is just fees that goes to the city for parks and stuff that they’re already paying for just by owning a house.” Homeowners have already started responding to the change, which took effect April 15. “One customer immediately made a deal for us to work for them converting a garage to an accessory dwelling unit,” Robertson said. Suspending the charges was a major coup for small-building advocates, said Ben Shook, principal at Ben Shook Studios, whose work includes designs for ADUs. “Those have confused developers,” Shook said. “They’re not too dissimilar to (system development charges) on new, detached, single-family house buildings.” He called elimination of the fees “the first step to the micro-development revolution.”Nevertheless, other challenges remain. Lenders don’t know whether to classify the secondary dwellings as additions, income property or duplexes, Shook said. The main way homeowners pay for the units is by taking out a second mortgage on their home, he said. If the homeowner defaults on the loan, the costs get recouped second, or not at all.

via djcoregon.com

Do the Labrusco

2010-06-10T17:24:23-07:00

No it's not a dance, though you will want to after you drink this one!

Although it seems the rain will never end here in Stumptown, (I swear it will) soon it will be summer and the one thing I always lament with the passing of the season (besides putting away my favorite sweater) is putting away those heavy red wines for a lighter, crisper fare. Well, now I don't really have to. I found this sparkling dry red wine last month on the Pearl districts First Thursday Art Walk. I tracked it down to "Cork" on Alberta street and bought all they had! Now I am back on the prowl.... Anybody seen this label?

Burger Madness

2010-06-10T17:07:14-07:00

Having grown up eating McDonald's burgers, I think I might have to say that burgers are just in my blood. I definitely feel the omnivores dilemma. Therefore, if you are going to eat meat, then you better make sure you know where it comes from. I am a huge proponent of "voting with your dollar" and so since I believe that the world will probably not decide to go vegetarian any time soon, then let's do the next best thing and support those restaurants that use local livestock and practice humane husbandry. Here are two excellent choices for when that burger crave hits:

1. New Seasons makes incredible burgers in their cafe! This is probably the best kept burger secret in Portland. You can have your burger on a ciabatta roll with "not the usual" cheese choice. How about provolone, or havarti? Then how about your choice of regular or dijon mustard? How about some red onion, avocado or horseradish? Talk about having it your way! A 6.95 guiltless (well almost) indulgence!

2. Foster Burger. This seems to be the new rage (at least last Saturday when I drove all the way across town to a line out the door, it sure was). A nice, soft, sesame bun from the next door bakery, Lindsey Ranch beef from Carlton, Oregon (Local, baby) and nice, crisp french fries.....hmmmm think I'll be drivin' across town again soon.

3. Le Pigeon. This one has been on my 'must try' list for a while. Turns out that they only make five (that's right) five burgers a night and when they are gone, they're gone! At $11.00 a pop, they had be something worth writing about, right? Well, pretty much. Big fat charbroiled flavor on my favorite ciabatta roll and it comes with a steak knife, 'cos you definitely need to cut this puppy! Came with some great potatoes on the side too! However, alas, you will not find this carnivore going back. Although they pass my humane beef test, they fail miserably with fois gras on the menu, and that's where I have to draw the line.

So gentle readers, the quest for the ultimate burger goes on!

Key Bank's Zero down loan

2010-06-10T15:36:42-07:00

For some borrowers, Key Bank has a great new program! If your household income is less than 56,000, you have had your job for at least two years and you can show that you have paid your rent on time for the last two years as well, you may be eligible a 0% down, 30 year fixed rate loan with NO prepayment penalties! I was unable to find any info on this loan on their website, so you will have to call your nearest branch to get all the requirements. There are some other restrictions and qualifications, but what a sweet deal if you qualify! I bought my house through Key bank 20 years ago when no other bank would loan me the money (self employed, when it comes to borrowing money might as well have an "L"
branded on your forehead). They were very courteous and helpful so I am not surprised that they are once again leading the charge to make home ownership affordable for everyone.