Stupid Funny Blog

CARLSBAD, New Mexico -Town Getting Swallowed by Sinkhole

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:57:00 +0000

CARLSBAD, New Mexico - The bright yellow signs on U.S. 285 are the first indication that things aren’t right in Carlsbad. “US 285 south subject to sinkhole 1,000 feet ahead,” motorists are warned. But there is little other evidence that in southeastern New Mexico’s oil country, a giant cavern sits beneath the earth, ready to swallow part of the highway and possibly a church, several businesses and a trailer park. The cavern was formed over three decades as oil field service companies pumped fresh water into a salt layer more than 400 feet below the surface and extracted several million barrels of brine to help with drilling.....More

Bus driver suspended for praying

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:55:00 +0000

ATLANTA, Georgia - An Atlanta bus driver was suspended for insisting his passengers join him in a prayer, his employer says. Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority spokesman Lyle V. Harris said LeRoy Matthews received a five-day furlough after passengers said he stopped his bus and asked all riders to hold hands and take part in a moment of prayer. An unidentified passenger said he was trying to get off the bus...More

Stolen 1965 van recovered after 35 years

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:53:00 +0000

LOS ANGELES, California - A 1965 Volkswagen van stolen 35 years ago in Spokane, Washington, was found by customs agents in a shipping container in the Los Angeles port a U.S. Customs and Border Protection official said. The blue van, in pristine condition, was bound for Germany along with several vintage Volkswagens, Customs and Border Protection Port Director Todd Hoffman said. While it was likely worth just a few hundred dollars when it was stolen, the VW is now valued at about $27,000, he said.....More

Man Posed as High School Student

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:52:00 +0000

YUMA, Arizona - A 22-year-old man accused of posing as a student at two Arizona high schools told authorities that he wanted to play basketball and hoped to get a college scholarship. Anthony M. Avalos was arrested on charges of forgery and sexual conduct with a minor. He remained jailed on more than $110,000 bond. Police say he attended Kofa High School and Vista Alternative School in Yuma beginning September 2008 and was a center on Kofa?s basketball team.--- ...More

Miss England’s jealous rage causes bar fight

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:15:00 +0000

UK - Miss England, Rachel Christie, has been forced to relinquish her crown amid claims she punched another beauty queen in the face in a jealous row over her boyfriend. Devastated Miss Christie - niece of Olympic legend Linford Christie - quit the race to become Miss World. The model and athlete has been accused of punching Miss Manchester, Sara Beverley Jones, 24, during a night out at a trendy nightclub. Trouble allegedly flared after Miss Manchester showed Miss Christie a saucy message on her phone claiming it was sent to her by Miss Christie’s boyfriend....More

Stupid News-Man Calls 911, Doesn?t Know His Address

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:07:00 +0000

GAINESVILLE, Florida - When you dial 911, there?s certain things you have to do to make sure you get the help you need. First, know your home address, and second, don?t wait 45 minutes to dial 911. Von Powell, 22, who lives near Gainesville, had a hard time doing both of those things after he said he was the victim of a home robbery. The man also told police that one of the things stolen was his ?personal stash? of marijuana.---...More

Toll Road Admits Penalties Were Excessive

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:06:00 +0000

California - Motorists hit with massive fines for minor toll infractions won a settlement. The toll road operating entities agreed to pay $1.4 million in restitution and waive $41 million in unpaid toll penalties. Over a dozen motorists sued in 2007 claiming that fines of up to $123,000 for skipping tolls were outrageous. Stephanie and Brian Young racked up $580 in unpaid tolls in 2003 after the credit card linked to their toll transponder account expired. For this mistake, OCTA demanded that they pay $53,550 in fines. Maria and Pablo Gonzalez allegedly failed to pay $60.14 in tolls and were billed $78,780. ---...More

Stupid News-Sex-toy study at Duke raises some eyebrows

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:05:00 +0000

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) -- A campus religious leader is unhappy about a study at Duke University that invites female students to attend parties where they can buy sex toys---...More

Terrorist Attack At Fort Hood

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:11:00 +0000

Shooter Major Malik Nadal Hasan Kills 13 and 31 wounded at Fort Hood Texas.

Malik Nadal Hasan A Muslim extremist infiltrates the US Military and goes on a Jihad.

Fort Hood shooting: Army psychiatrist named as gunman is still aliveUS major unconscious and under military guard after being shot four times during Texas base rampage that killed 13

The US army psychiatrist who allegedly shot dead 13 people and wounded 30 when he went on a rampage at Fort Hood military base in Texas is alive in a hospital under military guard.

The gunman, identified as Major Nidal Malik Hasan, 39, was initially reported to have been killed. But it emerged early this morning he survived despite being shot four times by a police officer. He is on a ventilator and unconscious, according to military officials. "I would say his death is not imminent," a military spokesman told the Associated Press.

Hasan was about to be deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, said Kay Bailey Hutchison, Republican senator for Texas. One of Hasan's cousins, Nader Hasan, told reporters the major was dreading going to war, having counselled scores of returning soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder....More

Funny Song-The Assumption Song

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:07:00 +0000

This is one of the funniest songs i have heard in a long time and the animation is very good.
The Assumption Song—-Ever think dirty?
Animation by Chris O’Neill.
Music by The Arrogant Worms
Funny Comedy Songs-Tons More

Man put Lexapro in wife’s tea

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:00:00 +0000

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin - Milwaukee police said a city firefighter was charged with putting a prescription anti-depressant in his wife’s tea without her permission. Police said the woman, a Milwaukee police detective, gave some of the tea to her 3-year-old son and noticed a white substance when the child spit some back out. The man told them he put the drug in his wife’s tea because the couple had been arguing about bills and he wanted to calm her down....More

Pet Cat Catches Swine Flu H1N1

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:58:00 +0000

Iowa - Vets in Iowa said that a household cat had tested positive for swine flu — the first known case in the world of the new pandemic strain spreading to the feline population. The domestic shorthair, a 13-year-old castrated male, apparently caught A(H1N1) off its owners — two of the three members of the family had previously contracted the deadly virus. “This is the first cat that we are aware of with the pandemic H1N1,” said Dr. Brett Sponseller, an assistant professor of veterinary microbiology who helped treat the pet at Iowa State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine.....More

Missing Baby Found Under Baby Sitter’s Bed

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:52:00 +0000

CHIPLEY, Florida - A baby missing for five days was found alive and well under her baby sitter’s bed, and Florida authorities said they plan to charge the sitter, her husband and the child’s mother. Investigators found 7-month-old Shannon Dedrick in a box tucked under a bed surrounded by items intended to hide the child at Susan Elizabeth Baker’s home near Chipley. The baby was placed in protective custody. Court documents showed that child welfare workers began looking into allegations Shannon was being abused less than two weeks after she was born.---More

Police: Breathalyzer-costumed man accused of DUI

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:51:00 +0000

OXFORD, Ohio (AP) -- An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. Oxford police said they stopped 20-year-old James P. Miller on Halloween night and found beer in his front seat and in the trunk---...More

Man says image of Jesus appears on truck window

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:51:00 +0000

JOHNSON CITY, Tenn. (AP) -- Jim Stevens said he's not particularly religious and is clueless about why an image resembling Jesus Christ keeps appearing on his pickup. Stevens, of Jonesborough, said nearly every morning, an image that looks to him like the face of Jesus Christ has appeared in the condensation on the driver's side window of his Isuzu truck. A Johnson City Press photo of the truck showed a facial image---...More

A Michigan professor sent an e-mail telling Muslim students to leave the country

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:59:00 +0000

This story found on Snopes.com.
Professor Wichman E-mail
Claim: A Michigan professor sent an e-mail telling Muslim students to leave the country.
Status: True.
The story begins at Michigan State University with a mechanical engineering professor named Indrek Wichman.

Wichman sent an e-mail to the Muslim Student's Association.
The e-mail was in response to the students' protest of the Danish cartoons that portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist.
The group had complained the cartoons were 'hate speech'
============
Enter Professor Wichman.
==========================================
In his e-mail, he said the following:
===============================
Dear Muslim Association,
As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest.
I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane things like beheadings of civilians, cowardly attacks on public buildings, suicide murders, murders of Catholic priests (the latest in Turkey), burnings of Christian churches, the continued persecution of Coptic Christians in Egypt, the imposition of Sharia law on non-Muslims, the rapes of Scandinavian girls and women (called 'whores' in your culture), the murder of film directors in Holland, and the rioting and looting in Paris France.
This is what offends me, a soft-spoken person and academic, and many, many of my colleagues..I counsel you dissatisfied, aggressive, brutal, and uncivilized slave-trading Muslims to be very aware of this as you proceed with your infantile 'protests.'
If you do not like the values of the West - see the 1st Amendment - you are free to leave. I hope for God's sake that most of you choose that option.
Please return to your ancestral homelands and build them up yourselves instead of troubling Americans.
Cordially,
I. S. Wichman
Professor of Mechanical Engineering

=============================
As you can imagine,
the Muslim group at the university didn't like this too well.
They're demanding that Wichman be reprimanded and the university impose mandatory diversity training for faculty.
And mandate a seminar on hate and discrimination for all freshmen.
Now the local chapter of CAIR has jumped into the fray .
CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, apparently doesn't believe that the good professor
had the right to express his opinion.
==========
For its part, the university is standing its ground in support of Professor Wichman,
saying the e-mail was private, and they don't intend to publicly condemn his remarks.
============================================================
Send this to your friends, and ask them to do the same.
Tell them to keep passing it around until the whole country gets it.
We are in a war.
This political correctness crap is getting old and killing us.
==================
If you agree with this,
Please send it to all your friends,
If not simply delete it.

Man Stabs Self to Miss Work

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:57:00 +0000

EDGEWATER, Colorado - Police in the Denver suburb of Edgewater say a man stabbed himself, then said he was attacked by three men dressed in black who were either Hispanic or skinheads, in a ploy to miss work. Twenty-nine-year-old Aaron Siebers was arrested after police say he admitted making up the assault and said he was responsible for the knife wound to his leg and other superficial cuts on his body...More

3 missing women found dead

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:56:00 +0000

Dakota - Three missing North Dakota college softball players, including 21-year-old Ashley Neufeld of Brandon, Man., were found dead in a Jeep pulled from a pond two days after the women disappeared. Lt. Rod Banyai of the Dickinson, N.D., police department, said officers are still investigating the cause of the deaths, and autopsies are planned. Banyai said the pond they were found in is about four metres deep and on a farm northwest of Dickinson. More…

Cough Leads to Fight on Train

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:55:00 +0000

New York - Violence struck on a southbound D train after two women got into an argument over one?s refusal to cover her mouth while coughing. It ended with her spitting on the other, a punch, and the second woman dragging the first to the floor of the car by her hair. As the train pulled into 42nd Street, the coughing woman spit on the other, provoking what sounded like a punch. Then the cougher attempted to exit the train as the doors were open, but the second woman grabbed her by the back of the hair, violently yanking her down to the floor.? ---...More

NM calf fitted with prosthetic legs

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:53:00 +0000

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) -- Meadow the yearling Black Angus calf spends her days frolicking in northeastern New Mexico's cattle country, all with her prosthetic hind legs---...More

Swine flu hits Michigan hard-60,000 reported ill last week; 16 deaths so far

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:26:00 +0000

Michigan is being hit by the worst flu season in years, with the H1N1 virus sickening tens of thousands of residents, sending hundreds to the hospital, closing nearly 600 schools and killing 16 people -- including five people in Metro Detroit, state officials announced Monday.

"We are at numbers you might see at the peak of a bad flu season," said Gregory S. Holzman, state chief medical executive. "This is unprecedented."

The number of flu-like illnesses reported to the Michigan Disease Surveillance System for 2009 was 418,191 as of last week. The number has surpassed the 416,972 cases reported last year, when the number spiked sharply after the seasonal flu vaccine didn't match the strain of the virus affecting the public. In 2007, Michigan reported 404,476 cases.--More

Woman dies after father ran her over

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:23:00 +0000

Arizona - A 20-year-old woman from Iraq has died in an Arizona hospital, nearly two weeks after her father, police say, ran her over with a car because she had become ?too Westernized.? Noor Faleh Almaleki died of injuries suffered when she was run over October 20 in a parking lot in the Phoenix suburb of Peoria, Arizona. Authorities said they expect to change the aggravated assault charge against her father, Faleh Hassan Almaleki, 48, to more severe counts after meetings with prosecutors. ---...More

Space hotel on schedule to open in 2012

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:22:00 +0000

BARCELONA - A company behind plans to open the first hotel in space says it is on target to accept its first paying guests in 2012 despite critics questioning the investment and time frame for the multi-billion dollar project. The Barcelona-based architects of The Galactic Suite Space Resort say it will cost 3 million euro ($4.4 million) for a three-night stay at the hotel, with this price including an eight-week training course on a tropical island. During their stay, guests would see the sun rise 15 times a day and travel around the world every 80 minutes. ---...More

Doctors Remove 78 Forks, Spoons From Stomach

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:33:00 +0000

Rotterdam, Holland - A woman obsessed with eating cutlery had to go under the knife to remove 78 forks and spoons from her stomach. Doctors said every time Margaret Daalman, of Rotterdam, Holland, would sit down for a meal, she would ignore the food and ?eat? the silverware instead. The 52-year-old eventually went to hospital complaining of a stomachache and was rushed into surgery after an X-ray revealed the dozens of forks and spoons clanking inside her. ?I felt an urge to eat the silverware. I could not help myself,? she said.---...More

Largest cruise ship squeezes under bridge

sfacomedysites@comcast.net (Staff) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:33:00 +0000

KORSOER, Denmark - The world?s largest cruise ship cleared a crucial obstacle lowering its smokestacks to squeeze under a bridge in Denmark. The Oasis of the Seas - which rises about 20 stories high - passed below the Great Belt Fixed Link with a slim margin as it left the Baltic Sea on its maiden voyage to Florida. Bridge operators said that even after lowering its telescopic smokestacks the giant ship had less than a 2-foot gap. ---...More