Stupid Funny News

stupid news headlines

2012-11-03T07:31:00.001-07:00

Now these are some stupid news headlines..how could you mess these up?

Evangelicals Refuse to Support Romney, Urge Voters to Write In Jesus

2012-11-03T07:29:00.001-07:00

Internet evangelist Bill Keller is urging the faithful to promise to vote for Jesus for president in this election.
So far, his website, VotingforJesus.com, says it has more than 1.6 million pledges to write in the name of Jesus on their ballots instead of any other presidential candidate.
If even half of those who signed the pledge vote accordingly, this could signal real trouble for Mitt Romney in close races by reducing the pool of voters who usually opt for the GOP.

David Weber, Miami Beach Man, Tried To Buy Beer With Bartender's Own Stolen Credit Card

2012-11-03T07:19:00.001-07:00

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. (Associated Press) -- Police in Miami Beach say a homeless man broke into a car, stole a credit card and then tried to use it to buy a beer - from the bartender the card belonged to....article

Boston student re-united with $170,000 violin (Reuters)

2011-12-30T05:46:00.001-08:00

Reuters - Christmas came early for a Boston music student who was reunited with the $170,000 violin she forgot in the overhead compartment of a regional commuter bus she rode last week, police said.Boston student re-united with $170,000 violin (Reuters)

Deer crashes into Idaho elementary school

2011-11-04T05:51:00.003-07:00

KETCHUM, Idaho, Nov. 4 (UPI) -- The principal of an Idaho elementary school said the building custodian arrived for work to find a deer had...Deer crashes into Idaho elementary school

Students punished for 'mutual hug'

2011-11-04T05:51:00.001-07:00

PALM BAY, Fla., Nov. 4 (UPI) -- A Florida woman said she wants her son's middle school to do away with its no-hugging policy after her son received in-school suspension for a violation.Students punished for 'mutual hug'

Germany admits accounting blunder but no scapegoats (Reuters)

2011-11-04T05:50:00.001-07:00

Reuters - The German government has no plans to sack the bankers or accountants who made a 55-billion euro ($75 billion) bookkeeping blunder that exposed it to ridicule across Europe, the finance minister said Wednesday.Germany admits accounting blunder but no scapegoats (Reuters)

Parishioners asked to attend church unarmed (Reuters)

2011-11-04T05:49:00.003-07:00

Reuters - MILWAUKEE (Reuters)- Roman Catholic bishops in Wisconsin are urging their parishioners not to bring weapons to church now that a new law permits state residents to carry concealed firearms.Parishioners asked to attend church unarmed (Reuters)

Sculpture of Ai WeiWei corpse spooks German town (Reuters)

2011-11-04T05:49:00.001-07:00

Reuters - A mock corpse of Chinese dissident artist Ai WeiWei in an art gallery has caused commotion in a small German town, leading some panicked residents, mistaking the statue for a real body, to alert the police.Sculpture of Ai WeiWei corpse spooks German town (Reuters)

Owner of car dealership labeled "Taliban Toyota" wins millions (Reuters)

2011-11-04T05:48:00.001-07:00

Reuters - The owner of a large southwest Alabama car dealership derided as "Taliban Toyota" by a competitor has been awarded $7.5 million in damages after a jury trial for his slander claim.Owner of car dealership labeled "Taliban Toyota" wins millions (Reuters)

Surfer rides on back of shark

2011-10-14T05:28:00.001-07:00

SEASIDE, Ore., Oct. 13 (UPI) -- An Oregon surfer who was knocked off his board by a 10- to 12-foot shark said he wound up riding for a few seconds on the large beast's back.Surfer rides on back of shark

Assisted suicide machine for sale in Kevorkian auction (Reuters)

2011-10-14T05:27:00.001-07:00

Reuters - The "death machine" used by the late Dr. Jack Kevorkian in assisted suicides will be among the items up for auction in an estate sale in late October, according to the sale's coordinator.Assisted suicide machine for sale in Kevorkian auction (Reuters)

New app uses brainwaves to track sleep quality (Reuters)

2011-10-14T05:25:00.001-07:00

Reuters - A new app that aims to improve both the quantity and quality of sleep uses brainwaves to track the amount of time spent in different stages of sleep.New app uses brainwaves to track sleep quality (Reuters)

Principal bans breast cancer T-shirts

2011-10-14T05:24:00.003-07:00

GILBERT, Ariz., Oct. 14 (UPI) -- An Arizona high school has banned cheerleaders from wearing breast cancer awareness shirts with the message "Feel for lumps, save your bumps" to games.Principal bans breast cancer T-shirts

Utah wants rescuer gone from rental home

2011-10-14T05:24:00.001-07:00

SALT LAKE CITY, Oct. 14 (UPI) -- Utah has filed court papers to remove an animal rescuer, and about 900 animals, from his rental home, which is in...Utah wants rescuer gone from rental home

Macabre twist as second car found at California cliff

2011-10-03T06:44:00.001-07:00

A California man, who was missing for nearly a week, is found by his son and daughter, after he drove his car off a mountain road into a ...Macabre twist as second car found at California cliff

Drunk man steals ambulance, crashes it

2011-10-03T06:43:00.001-07:00

CHICAGO, Oct. 2 (UPI) -- A 37-year-old drunk man stole an ambulance from a Chicago hospital before crashing it and needing assistance from another ambulance, police say.--Drunk man steals ambulance, crashes it

Belgium's "Mr Penguin" dreams of Antarctic funeral (Reuters)

2011-10-03T06:42:00.003-07:00

Reuters - Belgian pensioner Alfred David dreams one day he'll find eternal rest in the icy waters somewhere near Antarctica, dressed in his penguin suit and laid out in a coffin decorated with penguins.Belgium's "Mr Penguin" dreams of Antarctic funeral (Reuters)

Holly Madison insures breasts for $1 million (Reuters)

2011-10-03T06:42:00.001-07:00

Reuters - Reality TV star and model Holly Madison has insured her breasts for $1 million with Lloyd's of London, she told People magazine on Thursday.Holly Madison insures breasts for $1 million (Reuters)

Man creates 3D printer from Lego parts

2011-08-23T15:21:00.001-07:00

SAO CAETANO DO SUL, Brazil, Aug. 23 (UPI) -- A designer for Brazilian company Zoom Education for Life has created a 3D printer, which carves shapes from foam, made almost entirely from Lego components.

Man creates 3D printer from Lego parts

Student arrested, accused of having gun on school bus (Reuters)

2011-08-23T15:20:00.001-07:00

Reuters - An Anchorage high school student was arrested on Thursday after he was found carrying a loaded gun on a school bus, authorities said.Student arrested, accused of having gun on school bus (Reuters)

Reindeer herder finds baby mammoth in Russia Arctic (Reuters)

2011-08-23T15:19:00.002-07:00

Reuters - A reindeer herder in Russia's Arctic has stumbled on the pre-historic remains of a baby woolly mammoth poking out of the permafrost, local officials said on Friday.

Reindeer herder finds baby mammoth in Russia Arctic (Reuters)

And America's most trusted celebrity is... (Reuters)

2011-08-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

Reuters - Seems like former "Golden Girls" actress Betty White really does have the Midas touch.And America's most trusted celebrity is... (Reuters)

Vampire" arrest sparks discussion on pop culture (Reuters)

2011-08-22T06:25:00.000-07:00

Reuters - The arrest of an American man who broke into a woman's house and tried to suck her blood over the weekend has sparked discussion about the impact of vampire books and movies on youth culture.

Vampire" arrest sparks discussion on pop culture (Reuters)

Cottonsoft hits back at 'outrageous' toilet paper claims

2011-08-22T06:24:00.001-07:00

Toilet paper maker Cottonsoft has slammed as "wrong and outrageous" claims that its paper comes from felling Indonesian rainforests, home to critically endangered Sumatran tigers. Greenpeace, the ..

Cottonsoft hits back at 'outrageous' toilet paper claims