Stupid YouTube Comments

I hate memes

2012-07-08T17:30:00.003-07:00

This comment highlights the fact that Internet memes need to die out:

It's over 9000!!

This particular meme was born back in October, 2006. Essentially, this means that Internet users have been regurgitating the exact same joke for nearly SIX years. SIX GODDAMN YEARS. That's over half a decade!

Why I hate memes

It's not that I don't find memes funny. It's just that memes never seem to run their course and gracefully die out. Instead, they hang around and overstay their welcome, much like a visiting relative or a silent-but-deadly fart on a crowded school bus. Whenever I come across a newly-born meme, I feel conflicted. On one hand, I like the fact that it's new and fresh and that it has provided me with some entertainment. However, on the other hand, I feel troubled because I know for a fact that it's going to be regurgitated and beaten into the ground for the next couple of years. You know that feeling you get when somebody tells an old joke that you heard years ago? Well, that's the exact same feeling I get when I see an old meme being paraded around as if it's new and shiny.

It's not just the repetitiveness of it all that irks me. My ever-growing hatred for Internet memes is also fueled by the fact that some people prefer to communicate with them. For example: On popular social news websites such as Reddit, you'll often come across users who persist on using advice animal memes to present their arguments. It's as if regular conversation has become too boring for them and they feel as if the inclusion of "Scumbag Steve" and "Good Guy Greg" will brighten things up and make everything more exciting.

Why do people hate memes?

The closer you are to the birthplace of an Internet meme, the more likely you are to end up despising it. It all starts out fine and dandy. Somebody on 4chan submits something that is unique, strange or funny and it quickly catches on. Within a day or so, it has become some sort of inside joke. People are rehashing it, derivatives are being submitted and everyone is delighted.

However, after a week or so of seeing a constant stream of rehashes and spin-offs, the people who originally found the meme funny are now beginning to feel jaded by its presence. In their mind, the joke has worn thin and it's time to let it die. Unfortunately for them, little Jimmy has decided to visit 4chan for the first time in a few days and he thinks that this "new" meme of theirs is absolutely hilarious. In fact, he feels as if his buddies over on TypicalForumWebsite.com will also appreciate it! And he's right. They love it! Well... most of them do.

User A, B and C can't get enough of this new meme. User D, on the other hand, can't stand the sight of it! You see, User D is also a 4chan user and he's been seeing the exact same meme for the past week or so. He feels tired of it and is frustrated because of how it has effectively taken over his favorite forum board. To make things worse, all of his complaints are falling on deaf ears because everyone is far too busy playing with their new toy to care about what some damn party pooper has to say! Some of them are creating derivatives of their own. Some of them are having fun by injecting the meme into random conversations about unrelated topics. Simply put: User D is not a happy camper.

After a few weeks, the users of this particular forum board have also grown tired of the meme. Essentially, they've tired themselves out by repeating the same joke with slightly different punchlines. They want to move on and let it rest. Unfortunately for them, the meme doesn't want to rest. Instead, it wants to spread out like wildfire and leak onto larger websites.

Sooner or later, people begin to fulfill this wish by sharing the meme on larger websites such as Reddit and Tumblr, much to the dismay of everyone that has already grown tired of it. This is a critical part of the meme's lifespan. At this point, it can either fizzle out or go viral. If the meme has any sort of mainstream appeal, it will grow. If not, it'll remain in obscurity. If it has the potential for mainstream appeal, it'll be molded and reshaped into something that "everyone" will like. If you think about it, sites like Reddit and Tumblr tend to act as a buffer zone between the birthplace of these memes and the rest of the Internet. If the meme has mass appeal, these websites will wrap it up in plastic and aid its spread (all the while mocking those who accept their little package).

Before you know it, the meme is being covered by bloggers and tech news websites. It's also beginning to seep onto Youtube and Facebook. Youtube channels are using the meme in their videos and Facebook fan pages are being setup in order to worship it. Twitter accounts dedicated to the meme are born and they amass a large amount of followers. Those followers retweet the meme ad nauseam, spreading it even further. The spread of the meme across Facebook is aided by websites such as 9gag, which are littered with "share buttons". Reddit and Tumblr refuse to let go of the meme and continue on churning out derivatives. At this stage, companies and entrepreneurs try to monetize it by offering merchandise and Youtube channels try to inflate their views/revenue by using it in their video thumbnails and channel backgrounds.

The meme has now become apart of mainstream Internet culture. It might have taken months or even years, but in the end, it got there, and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it. Whenever a person became tired of the meme, he or she was replaced by three or four more people who were willing to carry the torch and help it spread. Throughout the months and years, those who had witnessed the meme in its early stages had to watch on in horror as this "joke" was repeated time and time again, with growing intensity.

Can you show us how to build a castle?

2012-07-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

I don't usually focus on bad spelling. However, for this comment, I just had to make an exception. It's as if his cat walked across his keyboard while he was trying to type.

Context: This was found on a Minecraft video. In case you didn't already know, Minecraft is a popular block-based building game.

Nostalgia

2012-07-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

Off topic post.

If you're interested in nostalgia (games from the 80s, TV shows from the 90s etc), check out the new Nostalgia blog that I just setup.

Examples:

Racism on Youtube

2012-01-20T14:35:00.000-08:00

Why is this guy having a conversation with himself and why am I doubting his ability to give an impartial view on Jewish people?

SOAP IS ARRIVED

2012-01-19T15:11:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't already know, the file sharing service "Megaupload" was shut down today after its owner and several company executives were charged with violating several copyright laws.

Anyway: This Youtube commentator decided to connect the dots before ending up with the conclusion this was the beginning of the notorious SOPA act (which hasn't actually been passed yet, by the way).

Notice how the act is called SOPA and not SOAP. Yes. Fortunately for us all, the freedom of the Internet is not being threatened by the cleansing product that we've all come to trust for our daily hygiene needs.

So rest assured people; SOAP AS NOT ARRIVED.

I hate Indians because they drink turtle blood...

2011-07-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

Yes - I am just as confused about this comment as you are. Something something about Indians drinking the blood of 200 year old turtles because a net was broken, or something.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

2011-03-14T05:55:00.000-07:00

There is no God.

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised Pedophile

2010-12-18T10:53:00.000-08:00

The Onion is an "American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news." (Check it out. They have some pretty hilarious stuff.)

Anyway; I think it's fair to say that most normal people would watch the above video, see that it's a joke and then laugh a little. Unfortunately, your average Youtube user isn't a normal person, as seen below:

Yes... all of these comments appeared on the first page of the comments section. Lets degrade our faith in humanity even more by digging a little deeper.

I am serious. This shit is endless.

What the hell is wrong with these people.

2010-05-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know what this guy is trying to say.

What the fuck did I just read

2010-04-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

I'm never going to Oregon.

I am glad that have killed millions of Jews Thank Hitler

2010-03-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

What a tard.

Earthquake in Chile. It must be the end of the world.

2010-03-01T13:24:00.000-08:00

This comment enraged me so much that I went outside and started to kick small animals.

This consolidates my view that the Youtube servers should be set on fire and that no mention of the website be muttered afterwards. A nutbag quotes some generic crap from the Bible and the ONLY voice of reason on the comment section of the video gets downvoted. Earthquakes? Food shortages? They're as common as political sex scandals. The end of the world has happened so many times that when the time does actually come, we'll all be inside playing computer games, watching reality TV shows and jacking off to soft porn.

The Associated Press just lost my respect.

2010-03-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

Apparently; a storm blew up over the fact that a group of white girls from Arkansas won an African-inspired dance competition. But that's not the main story here (for me at least). The main story here is that The Associated Press actually mentioned and quoted Youtube comments in their news story as if these monstrous pieces of text mattered... to anyone, anywhere...

And I quote:

"A YouTube video of their performance, inspired by the movie "The Matrix," generated hundreds of comments.
Posters questioned everything from whether a white group should have been allowed to compete to whether judges wowed by the unlikely competitors inflated their scores to let them win.
"Good Job but let the Black folks have their own thing for once!!!" wrote one commenter posting under the name "titetowers" who said the Zeta Tau Alpha team did well but should not have won."

PS: titetowers is a moron.
PS: Kate Brumback and Dionne Walker are also morons.

Killer whale attacks woman at SeaWorld. Did he died? We don't know!

2010-02-28T15:59:00.000-08:00

Branbits is an idiot.

More troubling is the fact that others actually upvoted this retard.

Facebook - Republican finds it difficult to express his feelings about Obama

2010-02-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

Third time lucky I guess! Found this on an anti-Obama Facebook group. PS: Thank you Ben.

Facebook chain mail...

2010-02-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

See more... See more... See more...
People on Facebook are not even competent enough to copy and paste a piece of chain mail.

Most retarded comment yet

2010-02-10T04:51:00.000-08:00

Surpisingly, this comment isn't from Youtube. Instead, it's from the comment section of a random blog that I was browsing.

You can see why I had to post it.

Hemp Oil cures cancer

2010-02-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

After making my last post, I decided to turn to that fountain of knowledge - you know... the comments section over on Youtube. It didn't surprise me to find that a few wackos were dirtying the place up with their pseudo-science and conspiracy theories.

I sincerely hope that this guy was being sarcastic.

Knowledge is something you don't have, said Allah. I decided to leave in argetfalcon's reply because it really does show KnowledgeSaidAllah up as the ignorant asshole he is.

Once again, I left in argetfalcon's reply (somebody should buy that guy a beer). These people are not just delusional - they're as thick as shit.

Water can cure cancer, arthiritis and even your virginity

2010-02-06T09:15:00.000-08:00

Came across this Youtube video of the US version of the show Dragons Den. This guy (Bruce McBernie) reckons that water can cure cancer, arthritis, hepatitis, the flu and a whole bunch of other stuff. I wasn't going to post this video, but I really wanted to say how much I hate all of this new-age hippy bullshit. I don't mind people believing in it and I don't mind people trying it. I just can't stand it when people say that such and such a product cures such and such a condition without producing any scientific evidence whatsoever to back their claim up. Not only is it ignorant and backward, but it's also dangerous. There has been cases where proven cures and treatments etc have been ignored because somebody felt that an unproven new-age therapy was the best route to take. I've heard of proven HIV treatment methods being disbanded in places such as South Africa because some quack doctor (who stood to make a buck) said that vitamins can cure HIV. Sure, you'll get survivors saying stuff like "Water cured my cancer". But that doesn't mean they're correct. There have been many cases of cancer cells suddenly going into remission. Just because you hopped on one leg and sang a song backwards, it doesn't mean that's what cured you. Anyway, the video:

Farmville Extreme - now with Farming Accidents

2010-02-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

Hell motherfucking yeah! This bad boy will make your clicking finger work so hard you'll contemplate blowing your own hands off with a homemade pipe bomb just to spare yourself the pain. Now with twice the clicks, Farmville EXTREME will seperate the casual farmers from the real agricultural gaming experts. Challenge yourself as you try to avoid farming accidents, foreclosures, foot and mouth disease and even that filthy swine that calls himself a taxman!

Farmville Extreme may not be played by those with medical conditions or women with children in their wombs.

TAKE THAT... grammar!

2010-02-04T02:22:00.000-08:00

Stumbled across a Take That (British boyband) video. And just as expected - it was littered with morons.

And imlikewtf with your comment.

Truthificationul also thinks that words such as "is" are 'wack'.

I'm not going to top that one.

I don't care if I die tomorrow, I'm not forwarding on your stupid chain mail.

2010-02-03T05:44:00.000-08:00

I was busy leaving hateful comments on a Jonas Brothers video the other day when I came across this:

Thank you wewewrr.

I think it's pretty safe to assume that the people who read this kind of stuff and then proceed to pass it on are the same kind of people who read daily horoscopes and participate in cult suicides (not a bad thing). In my opinion, the IQ test should be completely scrapped. Instead, we should just count up all the times a person has forwarded on a piece of barely-intelligible chain mail and then declare them clinically retarded if that number is anything above -1.

It's pretty obvious that somebody modified the original piece of chain mail so that it applied specifically to Youtube. It's also pretty obvious that the person who modified it knew that your regular Youtube user would not accept or follow the instructions of a comment that had no spelling mistakes in it. I really do hate people.

THIS JUST IN: GLOBAL WARMING IS A FRAUD

2010-01-25T13:42:00.000-08:00

This is Misterwolf29's response to a video about a NASA report showing a rise in the earth's average temperature. Basically, he believes that NASA has a team of Photoshop experts who manipulate images all day long in order to fool us. [Original Video]

Retard.

I hate Shane Dawson

2010-01-15T15:07:00.000-08:00

The fact that Shane Dawson has more than ten subscribers is proof that God does not exist. I don't know what's more painful - watching one of his videos or having a fish-hook lodged in your penis. I haven't tried out the second option, but I'm guessing that after a while, the pain would hurt so much that you'd eventually just pass out. The same can't be said for watching one of Shane's videos.

Here's some tips from Shane Dawson on how to maintain an emo hairstyle. Also, here is why people hate Shane Dawson.

Feel like killing yourself yet?

Stupid Youtube Videos - Drunk Prank

2009-12-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

I am no longer amazed at the effortless stupidity of others. In this video, a group of friends come up with an 'excellent' idea for a prank. They grab their semi-comatose friend, bring him outside, place him on a light plastic blow-up raft and then push him out into the middle of a lake, leaving him at the mercy of what seems to be a pretty strong wind. It's only when the guy is in the the middle of the lake that somebody ponders the possibility of the raft overturning and their friend being unable to swim. Well HURR fucking DURR. Who would have known that pushing somebody who is unconscious out into the middle of a lake was dangerous? Everybody. What would have happened if it did overturn and he didn't wake up? Would they have been quick enough to jump in and find him? I don't know about you, but the water in that pond doesn't exactly look like the type of water that allows you to see the bottom.