Style for Success Blog

Straw Etiquette and Table Manners Mistakes

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:02 GMT

How to look like an adult when using a straw

Q.

My husband is driving me crazy. I took him to your dining etiquette class put on by the University of Alberta alumni. It was a great evening and his table manners have improved immensely. But he still has one annoying habit that you didn't address. When he drinks with a straw, he uses it just like a little child. Please give him some tips on how to use a straw properly. He'll listen to you.

- The last straw

A.

Why is it that people rarely listen to their spouse's advice? (Joanne, never listens to me. Well, she listens but rarely does what I say.) I know what you mean about people looking like little kids when they use a straw.

Hunchback of Notre Dame

You see all sorts of people, even those wearing nice business suits, hunched over their drinks. You can still pick up a drink that has a straw in it. In fact proper dining etiquette says that you should. That way you sit up straight and look good while you're drinking just as you should sit up straight while you're eating.

No slurpies

I don't know if your husband does this, but another annoying habit with straws, is slurping loudly. You wouldn't blow bubbles into drinks like a little kid (or at least our table manners advice at a business lunch is not to) so why startle people with huge vacuum-like slurping noises when you reach the bottom. As an adult you don't have to finish everything on your plate and you don't have to finish every last drop of your drink (no matter how expensive a cocktail it is, or how much you need every last drop of alcohol). How to prevent that annoying slurping at the end? Just don't drain your glass quite to the bottom.

Listen up buddy

I hope these tips and advice help. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him... drink properly with a straw.

Posted by Terry Pithers - The Dining Etiquette Expert and good straw user

Shoes to Pump Up Your Image

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:17 GMT

Searching for the Perfect Pumps

We have been having the time of our lives vacationing in Phoenix, Arizona. One of the perks is the shopping here, with humongous choices in one glorious location, the Fashion Square Mall in Scottsdale. It has all the flag ship stores like Neiman Marcus, Macy’s, Barneys New York, Dillard’s, Nordstrom and too many great boutiques to mention.

You’d think I could find a wardrobe staple here

Like a good corporate image consultant, I follow my own advice and before I venture out shopping I create a list of wants and needs, of course leaving room for spontaneous ‘finds’ like beautiful handbags that keep calling my name “Joanne, Jooaaaane”. High on my needs list is a pair of new pumps. Nothing outrageous. Comfortable but stylish black pumps with a moderate platform and a high heel (but not stiletto-like).

Pump and circumstance

I’m not asking for the moon, just an updated version of what should be a fashionable working woman’s wardrobe perennial; a nice pump. (By the way guys, a pump isn’t for a car or a bike. It’s a woman’s shoe. Now you know, so you can impress your friends with your knowledge. See the photo above courtesy of Sam Brooks.)

Where have all the pumps gone?

Should be easy-peasy, right? Wrong! I’ve been to every shoe department imaginable and they all have gi-normous collections of shoes but nothing like what I’m seeking. Sure, if I want sequins, rhinestones, studs, cages, slingbacks, open-toes, booties or wedge soles, they’re easily found. Help!

If I had a million dollars...

Now I finally did spot a pair of perfect pumps... at Coach and if I didn’t mind spending the equivalent of a monthly mortgage payment I would have left more than satisfied. And so, the search continues….fortunately I have a side trip to San Diego planned…maybe with any luck… keep your fingers crossed!

Posted by Joanne Blake - Corporate Image Consultant and sometimes Shoeless Jo

2012 the year to be real, not perfect

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:22 GMT

Terry makes a perfect New Year's resolution

Are you a perfectionist? Isn't it tough being a perfectionist?

Perfectionists of the world unite.

So if you're a perfectionist like me and there's a lot of us out there, let's try to let go of it together. And I'm going to work at it until I'm perfectly successful. (See, even when we try to not be perfectionists we want to be perfect at doing that too.)

Perfectionism is so draining

It takes so long to do things if you're a perfectionist. You wouldn't believe how long it takes me to get these blogs out. (If you're perfectionist, you might.) I write and rewrite and rewrite. If Joanne gives me her copy to put up on the website, I have to tweak it, rewrite it, and then re-tweak it again.

Life with a perfectionist is draining too

Speaking of Joanne, it’s not easy being in a relationship with a perfectionist. This behavior stands in the way of our lives, careers and even our relationships. Because we perfectionists know that there are right way and wrong ways of doing things. The right way is generally the way that we do things. The perfect way.

Life can be easier and more fun

Our seminars are fun and engaging but our best presentations come about when we are in the moment and often when we make a mistake. When I allow myself to make a mistake, it frees me up, frees Joanne up and frees the audience up. We all get to have some fun and react.

Let's face it, we're not building the Sistine Chapel

In our newsletter and blog entries often the ones that get the most comments are the ones where I have made a mistake.

In the Renaissance craftsmen believed that only God was capable of perfection, so they would intentionally inset a flaw or a mistake into their work. What a freeing concept!

Only the creator is capable of perfection

So as a way of getting over and taking my first 2012 steps towards letting go of perfectionism, I have intentionally left some mistakes in this blogg (all you fellow perfectionists see if you can find them and point them out to me. I will try not to cringe.) I have also inserted some photos of me looking goofy from some presentations on image and networking we made for the University of Alberta Alumni Association and the photos are courtesy of photogragher Sam Brooks. (The captions are my own and yes they're not perfect, yet.)

Do as I say not as I do

As we often mention in our seminars, people enjoy spending time with people they know, like and trust. Having a self-deprecating sense of humor, not taking yourself too seriously and not being such a perfectionist goes a long way for building that like and trust. And really perfectionism isn't being authentic - it's constantly editing everything.

Together we can do it

Any other perfectionists out there? I know there's a perfect horde of you. What New Year's resolutions are you trying this year? remember they don't have to be perfect.

(I'm feeling beter already)

Posted by Terry Pithers -The Business Etiquette Expert and sometimes imperfect guy

Modern manners for the office or dating

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 02:20 GMT

Some Social Tips and office advice to start the New Year off right

Ever wonder:

How do I unfriend a Facebook friend?

Should I go “Dutch” on a date?

Can I ask a co-worker how much they make?

How do I get my text-aholic friend to stop texting?

Flare Magazine comes to the rescue

We were just featured in an article in December Flare Magazine, called Mind Your Manners by Rosemary Counter. A panel of experts answering modern office and social manners questions.

Lots of tips and advice on etiquette questions revolving around -

money, technology, work, style, friends and even... sex. (Okay, someone else answered the sex questions.)

Click here to read the pdf article and see if you agree with the advice.

Posted by Terry Pithers - Business Etiquette Expert and Sometimes Agony Aunt

Corporate gifts? Personal gifts?

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:59 GMT

The Holiday Time Dilemma

Tips and advice to make your gifts stand out

It’s the time of year when most of us are racking our brains what to get our corporate clients and what to get our loved ones.

What do you get someone who has everything?

For the past few years, Joanne and I have been donating to Oxfam Unwrapped on behalf of our business clients and our family.

Spread the wealth and good feelings around

Let's face it, most of us already have too much “stuff” and so many in the world have so little. Giving to a worthy cause is great for the charity. As a bonus, don't you find it does something good for the giver as well?

Nice warm fuzzies

You as donor, feel good and when your clients or family know that you have made a charitable donation in lieu of a gift , it gives them a warm fuzzy feeling as well. (Unless the person is a child. - This doesn't work as well for children. Children like to receive a gift for themselves. To help them understand the meaning of charity, why not give them a smaller gift and let them know that you also made a donation in their name.)

More great holiday tips and ideas

From fancy gifts and e-cards to family events, how you mark the holidays with your business clients depends on your style and your clients’ preferences. Recently Investment Executive magazine asked us to contribute to an article on holiday advice for business people. They shared some ways you can strike the right note this holiday season.

The holidays - getting it right

The article covered everything from Christmas card etiquette tips, to gift value appropriateness, whether to give promotional items, to advice on how to personalize the gift basket. Click here to read the article full of fabulous advice on getting the holidays right.

Your goat is in the mail

Our way of thanking you for being a loyal reader, client, colleague and friend is a donation to Oxfam. There we have made donations to literacy programs, girls’ education, clean drinking water and self-sustaining farm items like donkeys and goats. Check out the Oxfam site to feel some warm fuzzies. (Don't worry your goat is eay to care for. It will eat anything, even your gifts, so don't leave them laying around.)

Have a safe, happy holiday season.

Best wishes from Joanne and Terry

Posted by Terry Pithers - Business Etiquette Expert and goat giver

TV Dining tips to look good at the table

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:44 GMT

Joanne on What's Cooking TV

It's that time of year when a lot of holiday dining is taking place. Here are some table manners tips and advice with video to show you how to make a good impression even when you're gobbling up the turkey.

A TV dining star

I was just on What's Cooking TV on City TV stations across Canada. This is a terrific half-hour show that always features celebrity guests, three or four easy-to-make dishes, along with some hosting and entertaining tips.

Terry's still jealous

They flew us down to Québec city to film a dining etiquette segment at the Québec Hilton with Richard Cazeau, the very amusing cohost of the show. (Terry's a little jealous because I was on the show but he didn't make the cut. At least he got to visit beautiful Québec, seen in the background of the photos.)

Do you switch hands?

In North America, there are two main styles of dining etiquette, American or Continental. Not sure which style of eating you use? Click here to watch the video from the show and see us demonstrating how to do it right.

Slow or fast eater?

And you thought you were a slow or a fast eater? Wait till you see Richard in the video. If you've taken one of our dining etiquette courses you know it's not about being perfect or pretentious. All of our table manners tips revolve around enjoying the meal and being a savvy diner, not a stuffy one. (Leave the stuffiness to the turkey.)

We had a blast

We had a fabulous time in Québec and got to practice our table manners in a lot of great restaurants. To see some photos click here to check out our blog entry on our trip.

(TERRY SAYS - I'm still jealous that I didn't end up in the show just because Joanne is the photogenic one, even when she's wearing socks on her hands - click here to see photo.)

Posted by Joanne Bake - The Dining Etiquette Expert and lucky gal

10 Signs Your Man Needs Fashion Help

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 14:11 GMT

We just did a dress for success session to a mixed audience of the University of Alberta alumni and students. (BTW our final savvy networking workshop of the season is being offered by them.) We asked the audience to come up with image turn offs for both genders. It's always interesting to hear what women notice about men's dress mistakes.

Women notice dress mistakes that men don't

A reader sent us a list of men's image mistakes from topdatingsites.com.

We thought you'd get a chuckle (or cringe) while reading them.

He Unbuttons His Shirt Too Far – Have you ever been with your sweetie and found yourself thinking of Miami Vice? Visible chest hair is a sure sign that he needs some tutoring.
He’s Swimming in His Suit– There are few things that look as good on a man as a well-tailored suit. It doesn’t necessarily have to be expensive, but it does need to fit properly. If he looks like he’s playing dress-up in his father’s clothes, do him a favor and get him fitted for your next special occasion.
He Tucks His T-Shirt In– A t-shirt is meant to be casual, but tucking it into his jeans makes your guy look stuffy. Unless he’s going for the middle-aged tourist look, letting the hem fall naturally is the way to go.
He Wears a Tank Top – If he’s not a Jersey Shore cast member, wearing a tank by itself isn’t acceptable. Even if he’s built like the Situation, sporting a tank top away from the gym is a bad situation. Encourage him to treat a tank top like the undershirt it’s intended to be.
He Wears Flip-Flops With Everything– Flip-flops are for the beach or the pool. Period. Wearing them with anything else puts off a slacker/frat boy vibe, and makes it difficult for anyone to take him seriously.
He Thinks White Athletic Socks Go With Anything– We’ve all seen it: a man in dress slacks and nice shoes shifts in a way that reveals his socks, and they’re tubes. Avert this cringe-fest by gently explaining that every man should have a few pairs of dress socks, then stock them in his drawer for him. If he has them on hand, he’s much more likely to actually wear them.
His Underwear Are Visible– People shouldn’t be able to tell if he’s a boxers or briefs man unless they’ve watched him get dressed. Exposed underwear means that his pants don’t fit, or that he can’t be bothered to put on a belt.
He Has A Collection of Novelty Ties– There’s nothing professional or classy about a tie adorned with cheeseburgers, Bart Simpson, or footballs. To pull off a novelty tie, a man needs to possess a very specific kind of quirky fashion sense that most men simply don’t have. Urge him to forgo the wacky prints in favor of a more conservative look.
He Wears Socks With Sandals– This one should go without saying, but somehow this simple rule hasn’t made it through the heads of most men. There’s never a time that pairing socks and sandals is okay.
He Doesn’t Match His Belt and Shoes– A brown belt should be worn with brown shoes, a black one with black shoes. Mixing them seems like a small issue, but it always sticks out like a sore thumb. This is one of the quickest ways to ruin what is otherwise a perfectly acceptable outfit.

Shared with permission from topdatingsites.com. Click here to read the rest of their article for more dress for success tips & advice when dating.

Don't miss out - Our final savvy networking workshop of the season is being offered by the U of A alumni and open to our clients on Dec 1^st . Click here for more information or to register.

Posted by Joanne Blake - Corporate Image Consultant and a woman who notices

Does Your PowerPoint Look as Good as You?

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:01 GMT

Guess what?
Your PowerPoint is part of your professional image

We forgot – mea culpa

We always make a point of dressing up for our presentations. Everbody should but let's face it, we have to. We're image consultants. We try to look good on the platform. (Joanne is a 10, I'm somewhere around a 7 or 8.) What we didn't realize was that another part of our image was letting us down. It was around a 3 or a 4. It badly needed a makeover.

The truth hurts

A friend and colleague Nadine Riopel, who has sat in on our seminars told us that our presentation skills, humour and warmth are excellent (our heads are swelling) BUT our slides are old-school and they don't convey the warmth and emotion of our presentations. (Ouch, as the guy who puts together our PowerPoint, I had a hard time not taking this personally.)

Presentation Zen

Nadine offered to give us some tips and help update our slides. She recommended an excellent book by Garr Reynolds, entitled Presentation Zen Design. Garr is a leading authority on presentations and a long time student of the Zen arts. He writes a popular tip and advice blog at www.presentationZen.com.

Your PP image make-over

The book is a real eye-opener, full of great tips especially to text heavy, old-school PowerPoint-ers like myself. The subtitle to Garr Reynolds’ book says it all - Simple Design Principles and Techniques to Enhance Your Presentations. Besides learning to use fewer bullet points, one of my biggest takeaways was using photos and graphics to get across the feeling or emotion behind the point you’re making. A picture is truly worth a thousand words (or a thousand bullet points).

Less is more ... really

When Joanne and I are giving image and dress tips on accessorizing an outfit, our main advice is less is more. Too many focal points on a clothing outfit or a slide make it confusing because the eye doesn't know where to go. After reading the book, it was painful to look at my old PowerPoint presentations. (Above you see one of my old Savvy Networking slides and Nadine’s make-over. Night and day difference?)

Try not to take it personally

Your business image and brand encompasses so much more than your dress. It's how you come across to others in your networking, dining and business etiquette skills. But it also includes your presentation tools especially those PowerPoint slides that act as a backdrop to yourself and your ideas. Read Garr's book and take a second look at your slides and you'll see what we mean. (If your slides s**k or put people to sleep, try not to take it personally. I'm still trying not to.)

Posted by Terry Pithers - The Business Etiquette Expert and New-school PowerPointer

Men’s Grooming Advice - Trim Those Eyebrows

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:15 GMT

Simple tips for taming bushy eyebrows

What dates, best friends and colleagues may not tell you

In our business image and dress for success seminars, we're often asked to cover personal grooming issues that many men don't seem to notice. Management and HR don't want to address these personal issues. So you need to monitor your own grooming and eyebrows.

Yes, I trim mine

Guys, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I trim my eyebrows. Most men do or should, because they get unruly and other people notice when you don't. It’s usually women who notice, women customers, colleagues, bosses and your dates. They will rarely tell you how much grooming issues turn them off. They will just pass you over. (For some reason Joanne isn't afraid to let me know. Spouses are like that. I take it as a sign she loves me.)

So if you want to make a good impression we've got some eyebrow tips and advice below.

What did you say? Sorry, I was looking at your eyebrows

When you think about bushy eyebrows Andy Rooney comes to mind. Andy just passed away. (Click here to watch a nice tribute.) He was a great guy and a terrific commentator but he was also notorious for having unruly eyebrows that he refused to trim. Click here to watch a video clip of him actually talking about his eyebrows and other image issues.

Do people notice? Oh yeah

There are thousands of web comments on Andy's eyebrows and even the positive ones have a negative spin, for example - Should Andy Rooney trim his eyebrows? ... Nope... at 90 years old you are allowed to look like an unkept old man… (I believe they meant unkempt, but if you look unkempt you might have trouble finding anyone to “kept” you. BTW how do you get to be a kept man?)

You don't need a lawn mower

The point is untrimmed eyebrows on a man are a distraction that turn off other people. None of us wants to be perceived as an unkempt old man, no matter what our age. Many hair stylists will trim your eye brows for you, just ask them. (Tip - If they offer to trim your eyebows, that's a hint that you need a trimming.) If you want to do it yourself I've included a good short video from YouTube on how to trim your eyebrows.

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Trim don't pluck

Note - be careful about plucking eyebrows. Plucked eyebrows rarely grow back, so you may end up with bare spots. Better to trim them and only pluck from areas where you definitely don't want hair to grow, like between your brows. Trimming is easy and it might just improve your job prospects and your love life.Grooming is part of your dress for success.

Posted by Terry Pithers - The Business Etiquette Expert and eyebrow trimmer

These Boots Are Made for Walking… Street Walking That Is

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:38 GMT

Boot Trend Tips & Advice

Q. Are over the knee boots… over the top?

I was boot shopping the other day, and the salesperson and I got to talking about the appropriateness of boots and skirts/dresses as office wear, particularly since many of the new fashion styles are actually over-the-knee. "I know just who to ask," I said.

As a corporate image consultant, maybe you'd like to blog about this (and in the process answer our burning question): Are boots and skirts/sweater dresses appropriate office wear, and what's the verdict on over-the-knee boots for business?

A. Early Adopter Advice

Ah boots... this is a topic that has been cropping up a lot in my business image seminars this fall.

My advice is that over the knee boots are generally not business appropriate unless they are worn with a longer skirt (below the knee) in which case you wouldn't see the top. With any new fashion trend you have to be aware of the early adopter syndrome.

The early adopter syndrome

When you adopt a fashion trend at its early stages you run into a bit of a conundrum in business wear.

Because our eye and brain have not become accustomed to seeing the trend widely adopted, people who don't follow fashion (predominantly men but also many women) mentally process your clothing choices referentially.

First thing that comes to mind

In other words, the image of you wearing the new fashion is subconsciously related back to any previous associations with that look. With over the knee boots the most common association involves street walking, (picture Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) not a connotation most of us want to embody at the office (unless your business does involve street walking).

These boots are made for walking… at the office

In our Canadian and northern US climate, boots are a necessity and ‘tasteful’ boots, those that stop just under the knee, are most business appropriate. Just be aware that all boots project a more creative/relaxed look. (For a blast from the past click here to see and hear Nancy Sinatra singing These Boots Are Made for Walking - warning - contains very short dresses and one of Terry's favorite lyric lines “You keep lying when you oughta be truthing”