Style for Success Blog

Is Sloppiness Sabotaging Your Dating and Career?

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 17:44 GMT

Women readers weigh in

Dear Joanne,

I have a real problem with how men dress. I am a baby boomer woman who’s been in the dating scene for a few years now with little success.

Do you know how disheartening it is to date ‘mature’ men who don’t feel the need to show up properly dressed or well groomed for the first date. Often their clothing is as tired looking as they are and some of them show up without having taken a shower or shaved.

Can you imagine? If they don’t make the effort for a first date, it’s only going to get worse from there. I’ve decided to stop dating altogether and can you blame me? Please, please, please tell them to spruce it up a little bit.
- Dateless in Seattle

I hear you girl

Dear Dateless - Unfortunately, I hear this from so many professional women not just about dates but about business colleagues. Is it because we have become such a politically correct society that parents, educators, spouses and employers fail to speak honestly about men’s fashion selections?

We don’t serve men well if we don’t tell them that their choice of attire subliminally promotes lack of respect for themselves and others and may stand in the way of their success.

Blame the fashion industry?

The fashion industry has been endorsing the rumpled look for men for several years now; shirt tails hanging outside their jackets, unshaven or heavily bearded faces and distressed footwear.

Reality check

The fashion industry's line is that it makes men look sexy, like they’ve just gotten out of bed. Reality check puulease. That may work for youthful male models with their chiselled looks and trim bodies -- this trend just makes real men look unkempt.

Slippery slope

It’s a slippery slope we’re on. How far will this trend go and what’s next, not bothering to brush your teeth or neglecting to shower? Just ask any woman how sexy they find that -- not so much.

The Caveman look - just not that attractive

There’s a reason men evolved from being cavemen to civilized men, it’s just not that attractive! So men let’s start sprucing up a bit. It takes the same effort and money to look good as it does to look intentionally dishevelled. Dress for success in your social AND business life. The payoff is so much better. Just ask your women friends, dates and business colleagues.

Posted by Joanne Blake - the Canadian corporate image consultant and men's dress for success advisor

How to Make Guests and First Timers Welcome

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:23 GMT

Inclusive Networking and Hosting at Conference

Hundreds of image consultants in one place

In May of each year hundreds of image consultants from all over the world congregate in a major US city for conference. Like most conference attendees they are there to update their skills, network with peers and connect with old friends.

Hot stuff

This year our AICI conference was held in Phoenix Arizona. Yes it was hot, in more ways than one. Hot speakers and topics as well as warm people coming Canada and the US as well as from destinations as far off as Nigeria, Argentina and Australia. (See the photos below)

Joanne with fellow CIPS (Certified Image Professionals) AICI 2013 Conference Phoenix

What About Newcomers?

Now one of most important conference events is the First Timers Meet and Greet Reception where newcomers are given a warm welcome along with a special name tag that identifies them as newcomers. This tag is important so that others who have been in the business for a while, can reach out and make them feel included.

We were all first timers once

I remember what it was like attending my very first conference, back in 1998 not knowing anyone, having to navigate on my own and wondering why I even came. Since that experience my biggest satisfaction comes from welcoming newcomers such as Leila (sitting beside me in the photo below) from the Philippines and getting to know her better throughout conference.

Making new members and 1st timers welcome

In a perfect world we would all remember to put on our host hats and engage newcomers. Sometimes we are so eager to catch up with old friends that we ignore or don’t think to include 1st timers. Many conferences are starting to be more proactive in their 1st timer reception and include a bit of networking/conversation training to empower connection and ROI for conference newcomers.

A vital part of conference

Terry and I have created a short, fun ice breaker program called Connecting at Conference for 1st Timers. We’re presenting it in a return engagement at The Canadian Payroll Association Conference later this month due to it's success two years ago. Remember what it felt like to attend your first conference, if you know of any conference that could benefit from hosting such an event, please pass along our contact information.

Posted by Joanne Blake - the Canadian corporate image consultant and 1st timer engager

Top Five Summertime Image Tips For Women

Wed, 29 May 2013 02:10 GMT

To Keep You from Sunburning Your Career

Ahhh, summertime, the living is easy and the Style for Success phone starts ringing off the hook as desperate organizations seek some help dealing with the summertime casual wear blues. Business wear gets less businessy and casual wear goes right off the road into the ditch. Summer in Canada and the USA finds bare midriffs, crop tops, low-rise pants or shorts and that’s just at the lawyers’ office.

Career limiting moves

Much as we like the extra business, as your corporate image consultants, we would rather preempt any image inspired blips in your career by supplying you with some tips to avoid summertime CLMs – “Career Limiting Moves”.

Top Five Summertime Tips for the Gals

So before you decide to let it all hang out, consider the power of your image to affect your employer, your clients and your career. Below is some of our summertime dress for success advice or CEMs (Career Enhancing Moves).

Tip 1. Sandals/mules
Sandals are okay if your corporate culture is creative/less formal, but your feet will become a focal point so make sure you get regular pedicures. Seinfeld fans, remember the loud-talker. Mules/flipflops can also make you a loud-walker in your office.

Tip 2. Revealing Victoria’s Secret
Sheer fabrics are in this year. Select undergarments that are smooth with a ‘skin tone’ shade so they don’t show through. With more whites and summer’s sheerer fabrics, a dark bra might not be a good choice (unless it matches your skin tone).

Tip 3. Capris/culottes/leggings
Best worn for Casual Fridays. As a CEM, if you're in a more conservative office environment, team them with a coordinating jacket to maintain your authority. The same goes for leggings – always team them with a top that covers your derriere/tush.

Tip 4. Don’t bare all the assets in your portfolio
It’s all about your business credibility. Your face should be the center of communication. Do the ‘dip test’ for cleavage, remember the creep factor for short/slit skirts and think twice about bare midriffs and shoulders.

Tip 5. Casual hair days
Don’t neglect to maintain your hair. Wearing scrunchies or just pulling it back in a ponytail may be fine for the weekend; at work it will diminish your professionalism.

Bonus dress for success tip
So follow the CEM advice to enjoy the summer without undermining the power of your image. And keep in mind one of our best dress for success tips for enhancing your career - Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

Free Tip sheet - Top 10 SUMMER WEAR DOs and DON'Ts pdf

Posted by Joanne Blake - the Canadian corporate image consultant and career enhancing mover

Down to Earth Fashion and Etiquette Tips from a Star

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:51 GMT

Catherine Zeta-Jones on casual wear & good manners for kids

I read a great interview with Catherine Zeta-Jones in InStyle magazine. The interview centered around her struggles with bipolar disorder. In addition, I found it quite interesting to hear her no nonsense thoughts on fashion and raising kids. She came across as a powerful yet down to earth woman.

(The video link is a fun 2 minutes of Catherine on the Ellen DeGeneres Show)

Catherine Zeta-Jones on manners and raising her children

“When it comes to manners I’m a strict mom. My kids are very privileged, and there’s no way to put a gloss on that. But you can make sure your kids are gracious. There’s nothing worse than rich, bratty kids. When we’re in a restaurant and someone takes my son’s coat, he turns to them and says, Thank you so much for doing that. That makes me smile. “

- I say amen to that. It’s nice to see parents who instill etiquette and respect for others, in their children. No matter how wealthy or poor they are.

Catherine Zeta-Jones on dressing up casual wear:

“I love clothes and I dress up a lot. I don’t like the whole cut off shorts and tee shirt look but I think you can look fantastic in casual clothes. I even find a way to make golf clothes look good. I put my collar up, get a sporty hat and throw on an Hermes scarf.”

- I agree, a scarf adds a bit of inexpensive flair (yours don’t have to be Hermes) to update any outfit.

BTW I’m on my way to my image consultants’ conference in Phoenix (AICI Association of Image Consultants International) I’m expecting to see a lot of scarves there ( I’ve brought a few and a lot of outfits in a new big suitcase) I’ll keep you updated in further posts.

Posted by Joanne Blake - the Canadian corporate image consultant and appreciator of etiquette minded kids

Is Your Restaurant Too Noisy For Business?

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:38 GMT

How Can You Network if the Music is too loud?

Eat, drink and be… stressed

Have you ever sat in a restaurant where the thumping bass has made it so you can’t carry on a conversation? Or you have to shout or worse - carry on your conversation via text?

Me: Do you mind turning the music down?
Server: Hunh?

Me: Do you mind turning it down!
Server: Hunh?

Me: Do you mind turning it down!!
Server: Hunh, I can't hear you.
Me: Exactly

Read my lips

We've been hearing from lots of readers complaining about how noisy restaurants have become. The too loud music forces people to shout which makes it even more noisy.

5 stars for food... 0 stars for volume

In our networking and dining etiquette seminars, we now have added a new tip and criteria for choosing a good restaurant for business dining; the noise level.

Are we just too old school?

Is it just because we’re getting older? No, volume of music is on the rise in restaurants. Faster paced music is believed to make you eat faster and consume more alcohol.

The customer may not be part of the equation

Music level and type is often chosen for the staff’s comfort and not necessarily, with you, the patron in mind.

Keeping it down

A recent Canadian Sunday Edition radio show did a documentary called Keeping it Down - Loud Music in Restaurants, click here to listen to the ear opening 15 min audio program.

Fight Back

They interviewed Hans Schmidt from Vancouver who started the Right to Quiet Society has developed some special business style cards that might be of help. One card reinforces good behavior and the other makes clear your reason for taking your business elsewhere.

Carrot and stick

We believe in voting with our pocket book and avoiding restaurants where we can’t converse. These cards let the owner/manager know why you may or may not come back. Terry and I haven’t used them yet, but we might start. The managers can read your complaint... even if they can’t hear them.

Here is a link to Quiet.org where you can download and print their noise suggestion cards.

http://www.quiet.org/print.htm

Their website also lists quiet places to eat and stay (don’t get us started on noisy hotels). Have you ever left a restaurant because of acoustics. What are your thoughts or tips?

For business/social dining online training

Posted by Joanne Blake - Canadian corporate image consultant and quiet dining aficionado

A Sleeve Length Trend to Avoid

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:53 GMT

What is the best sleeve length for suit jackets?

Q. Are long jacket sleeves a new trend?

Dear Terry and Joanne, I have seen a lot of celebrities wearing sports jackets and suit jackets with very long sleeves. Is this a new trend? – Sleeveless in Seattle

A: Dear Sleeveless,

It might be a new trend but we just call it a bad fit. We are seeing more and more people wearing jacket sleeves that are just too long, both men and women but today we will focus on men.(Tips and tailoring advice below)

Money doesn't buy good taste… or good fit

If you follow our blog or newsletter you will know that Terry and I like to watch The Celebrity Apprentice. While Donald Trump might not have his hairstyle quite right, he does make sure that his tailoring is impeccable.

Trace Adkins needs to tell his tailor "You're fired"

But many other celebrities just make us shake our heads. The worst bad tailoring victim this season, is country music star, Trace Adkins.

All sleeve... no cattle

Trace is a big guy but his jacket sleeve length is so long that they come down to his knuckles and make him look like Magilla Gorilla. Click to hear Trace sing his hit All Hat and No Cattle

7 reasons to avoid the too-long sleeve trend.
You will look like:

a gorilla
you borrowed Shaquille O'Neal’s jacket
you couldn’t afford alterations
you don’t know any better
you need an image consultant
you don’t want a date (or maybe you need a woman to pick out your clothes)
you don’t belong in the boardroom

Why throw away your money?

For the cost of a $20 sleeve alteration you've wasted the value of a $400 or $4000 suit (quality is important but fit trumps quality)

A corporate image consultant’s advice for proper sleeve length of the jacket

You’ve got a simple choice to look good with sleeve lengths. Do you want to show some shirt cuff or not? Here are proper places where these sleeves end:

a long fitting sleeve should end where the hand meets the wrist (this fitting is fine but will show no shirt cuff)
a standard fitted sleeve is about half to three quarters of an inch higher, ending midpoint of the wrist bone (this fitting reveals shirt cuff)

4 reasons to choose a standard fitted sleeve (this is my choice & James Bond's)

Showing a half inch to 3/4 inch of shirt cuff adds some flair to the jacket (especially effective on a dark suit and white shirt, see 007)
French cuffs shirts are a great addition to any man's wardrobe and what's the point of French cuffs if you don't get a glimpse of them
Your cufflink bling is seen with a standard fitted sleeve
This is the length of sleeve that people subconsciously associate with custom tailoring and thus... success.

If you want to keep your image in dress for success mode, subscribe to our blog or newsletter or attend one of our public Complete Professional seminars.

Terry's P.S. - Need a laugh? Check out my - The Celebrity Accountant spoof

Posted by Terry Pithers - Canadian Corporate Image Consultant and sleeve length police

Is It Bad Manners to Drink from a Bottle?

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:13 GMT

Is Drinking from the Bottle an Image or an Etiquette Faux Pas?

I drink… therefore I am

Q: Dear Terry and Joanne, I attend networking events with my boyfriend and he drinks his beer from the bottle. I don't think it's very classy what do you think?

A: We don't think it's very classy either. It's wrong on two counts; etiquette wise and image wise.

Beer bottle drinking etiquette

You wouldn't tilt a wine bottle to your lips at a business mixer or business lunch. Just because the beer bottle is smaller than the wine bottle and easier on your wrist is no reason to tilt it to your lips. From an etiquette standpoint, it is wrong. Liquids are meant to be consumed in glasses.

Situational drinking

If you've attended one of our business image and brand seminars you know we talk about situational dressing; making sure that your image fits the situation. While it's popular to drink beer from the bottle, you should consider where you're doing it and what you're wearing.

Are there peanut shells on the floor?

If you are at an establishment that features straw or peanut shells on the floor and you're wearing jeans and/or a baseball hat or cowboy hat, you're probably good to drink from the bottle. It somehow fits with the image.

Not wearing a ball cap

If you are at any sort of business function (also weddings or social occasions) where you're wearing business dress or more formal attire (without/sans ball cap), as your business etiquette and image consultants we advise that you reach for a glass when you reach for the bottle.

Drinking from the bottle - déclassé or de-glass-ay

It doesn't look too bad when you're holding a bottle, it's when you bring it up to your lips, tilt back your head and glug. At that instant from across the room, you don't look like a professional (well, maybe a professional drinker). If you haven't noticed before, watch someone in business attire drink from a bottle. (See our photo at the top. Not very pretty is it?)

Terry's legally required full disclosure

On a personal note I am a beer drinker and when camping or fishing (yes, often wearing a cowboy hat or a ball cap, much to Joanne's chagrin) I have been known to tilt a bottle of beer to my lips. But I rarely wear my business clothes on those occasions. (Camping etiquette 101 actually mandates drinking from the bottle, except when running.)

P.S. Joanne says women take note - this also holds true for bottles of any sort even bottled water. If you want to move your personal brand from good to great, attend one of our upcoming Complete Professional public seminars or view our online dining program

Posted by Terry Pithers - The Canadian business etiquette expert and rarely a bottle drinker

How to Make Customers and Yourself Feel Better About Your Job

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 15:02 GMT

How one person's etiquette at airport security can make a difference

We’ve been asking people for business travel etiquette pet peeves and a lot complaints center around Airport Security (TSA in the USA and CATSA In Canada). But sometimes we are pleasantly surprised. All it takes is one person to make a difference.

Cattle call

As a frequent business traveler I spent a fair amount of time at airports. Like most of us, I dread the long lines, being treated like cattle at security and having to strip off anything that might cause the alarms to go off.

Same old same old – surprise!

I was returning home to Edmonton from a long but successful week of training in Grande Prairie. I was hungry, tired and getting ready for the same-old – same-old at airport security. This time to my surprise I was greeted with a smile by one woman with security. So unexpected and so welcome! All of a sudden I didn’t feel so tired anymore.

It didn’t stop there

The guy behind me had laid his baseball cap on top of his tray of belongings. As it went through the X-ray machine it fell off the conveyor. He told the friendly security woman “This always happens.” She said. “May I make a suggestion?

Hat trick

If you place your coins and wallet inside the cap, the weight of the coins will keep it upright and prevent it from falling. As a bonus you can scoop up your coins effortlessly rather than have to pick them up one by one from the bin.”

A smile and a solution

A simple solution to a common problem, offered again with a smile. Her caring engagement lightened the mood of everyone in the lineup.

Take your job seriously and yourself lightly

Airport security is a serious matter. Airport staff have a tough time enforcing rules that seem to compromise our dignity. We know they’re just doing their job however, if everyone took a page from the way this Grande Prairie woman treated customers we would all have much better experiences and travel feeling like human beings instead of human cargo.

Please share your travel etiquette gripes and also your tips and bouquets for travel customer service with us.

Posted by Joanne Blake - The corporate image consultant and frequent flyer

Why Men Shouldn’t Wear Hats In Restaurants

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:21 GMT

Hat Etiquette for Men and Women

Joanne and I cringe when we see a man wearing a hat while he’s dining. Apparently we’re not the only ones. In a recent Sunday Edition CBC radio show, the fabulous host, Michael Enright addressed this same issue (here is link to the funny 4 minute audio and print version).

Michael Enright made the following points:

Wearing a hat at the table is wrong “It's like watching somebody pick their teeth in a flamboyant display of toothpick dexterity.”
Wearing a baseball hat backwards makes you look like a doofus. Michael actually said “a profound doofus”.

I would have to agree with Michael on all those points.

Tony Soprano agrees too

Michael talks about a scene in The Sopranos, where Tony is eating at a fine restaurant. During the meal he notices a young man wearing a baseball hat at another table. Tony approaches him and “politely” asks him to remove his hat. Click here to see the great video. (Don’t you wish the etiquette police like Tony Soprano were always on duty)

So what are the etiquette rules for wearing a hat?

We included some hat etiquette tips and advice for wearing a hat in restaurants or at the office for men and women in a previous blog - Are Hats Inside the Office Okay? The short answer is no.

Hat etiquette dictates men don't wear hats inside in business situations and socially. Women may wear hats inside for social occasions. In business since business etiquette is a level playing field (or should be), women need to be treated equally with men. Since men do not wear their hats inside, women should not either.

There were some great comments after this CBC segment

"When and why did North American men start looking and acting like slobs?

“It seems the North American male just doesn't care how they look anymore, or maybe they are trying to project a frightening appearance in a display of aggressive anti-socialism. Even jeans seem to be too upscale.”

What have you seen out there and what do you think?

(Hats off to loyal readers Lorn S. And Trish B. for tipping us off to the Michael Enright CBC radio program on hat etiquette.)

Posted by Terry Pithers - The Canadian business etiquette expert and sometime baseball hat wearer (never backwards)

Wrist Watch Choices to Enhance Your Image

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 19:44 GMT

Terry and his watches are in the Edmonton Journal.

After Terry blogged about why people should wear watches, Marta Gold, the Edmonton Journal fashion and style writer decided to interview him and write an article on watch trends, tips and advice.

I included some of the article here and put a link to the photosand article.

Q: Should men (or women) still wear watches when everyone has smartphones?

A: Absolutely, says Canadian business style and etiquette expert Terry Pithers, who has his own wardrobe of about five watches, three of which he wears regularly. (Five watches and he complains about the number of shoes I have.)

It sends a signal

“The biggest reason is the signal it sends,” he explains. A watch gives the impression to clients and colleagues — particularly more traditional or older ones — that you’re punctual and detail-oriented, whether that’s true or not.

Terry compares himself to James bond

“Think of Daniel Craig in Skyfall. Man, he looked sharp, whether he was jumping on a train or at the casino, and he always had a watch,” he says.

French cuffs tip

For men who wear French cuffs, a stylish watch gives an extra bit of flash when they stretch their arms out, Pithers says.

Heavy Metal advice

He most often wears a stainless steel dive watch that’s “slightly rugged for a guy; it can be dressy, it can suit almost any occasion.”

Pithers advises staying away from plastic or boldly-coloured watchbands, opting instead for leather, gold, stainless steel or a combination.

Click here to read the rest of the Edmonton Journal Article and see pictures of James Bond and Terry. See if you can tell the two apart.

P.S. when the photographer arrived to take Terry's photos,he asked Terry if he sold watches.

Photograph by: Bruce Edwards, Edmonton Journal