Subho's Jejune Diet

Anatomy of the Discussion on Rape

2013-05-05T09:21:00.002-07:00

Sometimes in the smoke and dust of wars, it is easy to forget what we are fighting for. The joy of victory often blinds us to the pain of victims. And the fascist in us usually helps us by providing a binary answer to how things should be. The recent national outcry over crimes against women is a good example. It paints the world into rapists and victims, profiles women into those who are prone to being raped and those who are not, and dismisses the genetic programming of males as something that we overcame back in the times of Napoleon. Why it even divides people into those who are making an unnecessary hue and cry and those who are wisely taking it in their stride. The comfort of having an explanation, of having it all fall neatly into place, of having someone to blame, castrate and hang, is too tempting. And all of this is made palatable by the offer of public spaces to protest at, revisions to the law, and FMCG sponsored citizen initiatives.

We as a people are so fond of this comfort that those who are "forward thinking" have always capitalized on it. That is why the priestly classes emerge, why people wage wars over borders of thoughts, and why the same corrupt politicians keep getting reelected. Watching the public reaction to the recent rape of the five-year-old one afternoon made me write something that I could not make much sense of as I wrote it. I sent it to +Bhavana Upadhyaya of TillingTheEarthWoman as a guest post since I did not know what to do with it. She redacted it, very simply and with as good as no changes, into a readable piece and published it on her blog in two parts. You can find the posts here. Do take a look and join in the discussion.

Rapes On and On … (Qs We Need To Ask)

Rapes On and On … (Solutions We Need To Seek)

How Tea Got Its Name. Seriously!

2013-04-17T20:25:00.002-07:00

For the last two months, I have been trying to write a piece to announce the launch of the rehearsal for the uprising. However, in spite of written two or three such pieces, they all lie in the Work in Progress folder. Perhaps one reason for that is the complexity (insane is always complex) of the thinking behind it. Then - this guest post from Rickie Khosla showed up, a followup from a long forgotten conversation. I could think of no better way to introduce our fine tea catalog (see link in first line of post) than with this.

Contemporary Indian writing in English is, to be kind, a minefield. Duds abound. The blogosphere is no exception. When I chanced upon Rickie's (measurement and information) writing, the first thing that struck me was his precision with narration time, narrative and dialog. The next thing was his totally weird sense of humor. Much of his writing revolves around popular culture, and his gothic irreverence comes through with an insider glee that is hard to describe. The richness of his wisdom and the depth of his knowledge are finely balanced with an Aragonesesque darkness (quick, light, irreversible, piercing) that is all his own. Knowing my fondness for rambling, he has provided an introduction to this Georgian delight himself. Without any further ado, SJD gives you - Rickie Khosla.

Deride without Prejudice

Hundreds of years ago, a plain Jane English writer called Jane Austen wrote an epochal novel called ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Quite miraculous that she would achieve that, for, the woman had heard nothing of Blogging in her day. Despite that, how she procured the clarity of thought, the grasp of storytelling technique, the dry wit and humor, attributes that all Indian Bloggers are naturally blessed with the first time they hold aloft a pen, we shall never know.

Anyway, my research has shown that Miss Austen may not have found it that facile to produce her seminal work, as proven by the multiple versions of Chapter 47 that she wrote longhand, one of which I have reproduced here. Moreover, I found it quite interesting that this particular trashed piece alludes to a certain beverage that +Subhorup Dasgupta has great affinity to – making this a remarkably serendipitous find! Read on to find out more.

I wish Miss Austen had retained this passage in the book instead of the inferior one that she ultimately went with. Had her writing been of the Blogosphere born, that lapse of judgment would have never occurred.

Ah, well.

Chapter 47

Draft 4

Mrs. Bennet woke that morning with a start. Forthwith upon doing so, she was dismayed to notice that her right eye was fluttering recurrently. “Oh dear, this is not going to be a good day!” she exclaimed to herself. Yes, as her past assays of similar harbingers portended, the omens had aligned for this to not be a good day at all. The fluttering left eye one could cheerily contend with. But the right one? That was to cause nothing short of dread! Each of Mrs. Bennet’s flights of fancy, for her mind was wont to vigorous ones at a moment’s notice, flung her to similar and thoroughly tragic consequences.

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National Poetry Month: Red Leaf Poetry Evening

2013-04-11T04:51:00.003-07:00

Linda and Nivedita are two amazingly enthusiastic poet friends of mine who spearhead a movement that I am proud to be a part of, Red Leaf Poetry. The objectives of this group are to reclaim the creative arts and bring it back to where it belongs - among the masses. They have been mixing memory and desire to come up with activities to commemorate National Poetry Month. The regular meeting is scheduled for 5 p.m., Saturday, April 13, at the usual 2nd floor corner at Landmark Somajiguda. (Hope to see you there.)

Our guest speaker this month is Anand Vishwanadha who describes himself as an (allegedly) unemployable copywriter and corporate communications professional who spends most of his time looking up into trees and photographing birds, and also writes the occasional poem. He has published two well-received volumes of poetry.

One of the outcomes from the last Red Leaf workshop merging poetry and photography.

Recently, the group was covered in a Times of India article on how poetry groups in Hyderabad were creating a new awareness among the people. Here is what they had to say. You can click through and download a full res image if you wish.

In addition, Red Leaf is also conducting Poetry Appreciation workshops for young people (class 6-12) at various schools in and around Hyderabad. Confirmed workshops are at Delhi Public School, Chirec Public School and Mosaica International School. If you would like Red Leaf to help organize an event at your location, please send an email to hyderabadpoets (at) gmail (dot) com.

Zero Sum: A Song for Kashmir

2013-04-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

Zero Sum (aka Mount Despair)

Come sit with me and rest a while, come drink my salted tea.
Smell the hills, the open skies, in all you'll know of me.
Take off your bunting, your hurt, your creed; what good come from these?
Wash your hands in the silent warmth of our samovar of grief.

The Bugloss flowers brightest blue; its roots red as blood.
The lotus stem holds forth the truth from ancient beds of mud.
Paisley prints the stolen beats of witness protected lives.
My valley isn’t twice cooked meat for your sharpened carving knives.

March 9, 2013
Hyderabad

[Uncredited image found across several Kashmir related blogs and site. If it belongs to you, please let me know, will gladly credit.]

Babul Films: Because It Matters

2013-04-01T20:27:00.002-07:00

How did we observe Earth Hour 2013? On March 23, I met Gangadhar Pandey, the person behind Babul Films, an organization dedicated to promoting sustainable lifestyles. We met on the occasion of a painting competition organized for children to observe Earth Hour. Earth Hour is the 2007 campaign created by Leo Burnett for World Wildlife Fund that asks you to turn off the lights for one hour on a March Saturday evening. The next morning, however, you are free to return to your life of consumption and wastage. A couple of us had been invited to judge the contest, and since I have never been asked so nicely, I didn’t say no. It took a few misplaced emails (true to his style, his email handle is admn without an "i," another clue to the mind behind the face) before it was confirmed. It turned out to be one of the most life-affirming decisions I have ever taken.

Participant at the Painting Competition organized by Babul Films on the Occasion of Earth Hour 2013. Photography by Bhavana Nissima

Who is this Gangadhar? We bussed our way down to the outskirts, and took an auto for the last mile. Much of habitation, both affordable and high end, now implies places which are not serviced by public transport. We walked into the community we were supposed to reach, and looked out for Babul Films. We were met by Renu, the man behind the man, as she bustled around managing more than two dozen kids in the basement of an apartment. She led us to where Gangadhar was struggling with stubborn wiring to set up the screening area. We soon realized that Babul Films was really a one-man army. Two-man actually, since Renu’s contribution to this movement is as critical as Gangadhar’s. Later we learned that after they packed up the event for the evening, they needed to pack up their home, since they were moving to a more accessible location the next morning! Then I figured out a possible explanation for the name of their endeavor; it was a misspelling of Bubble Films, since the two of them were constantly bubbling with enthusiasm about their role in creating a better world.

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Arrogance: Breaking It Yourself

2013-03-31T18:24:00.000-07:00

Arrogance has to be the greatest pain one can inflict on one's self, the biggest obstacle one can put in one's own path, and the most difficult personal failing one can attempt to address. As I sit in the stillness of a summer dawn, birdcalls and intercity bus horns (and the softly playing Ghost Trio) slicing through the dim air, it strikes me as a good thing to write about. A good thing to remind myself of.

All of us aspire to a broader canvas, a better life, a brighter, warmer, safer nest. That is at the core of our evolution, of our survival. The tools to get there are provided by nature - in the form of intellect, reason, physical ability, etc. I will never forget the words of my friend, Joseph, the man who walked on fire by mistake, when I expressed wonder at how he mastered the art of sewing/stitching in a few hours. He said, "God gave me hands, and God gave me a brain. There is nothing that cannot be achieved."

Man "dicovered" fire. Man created wikipedia. Image of Discovery liftoff from wiki commons.

This very ability - to overcome challenges and achieve anything, a virtue that we should be grateful for - becomes for most of us, the foundation of false pride and arrogance. We forget that each step we have taken to get where we are today has been possible only through the collusion of a million different factors. Starting from the attachment displayed by my mother (and father) on my birth, to the zillion times I have strayed and tested fate, to the opportunities that have found me - if one reflects on what has gone into making this "me," one can only be amazed at how insignificant our own role has been. I have been coaxed, nudged, rapped on my knuckles over and over by a million different protective forces before I learned even the basic lessons of social behavior. One can only guess at how much input goes into shaping thinking, personality and intelligences.

Strangely, this realization is largely kept hidden from us. This is part of the cosmic April Fool joke. We are given what we perceive as free will, only so that we can sculpt our destruction. We are given just as much choice to build upwards as we are to bring that edifice crashing down. Having been in the "business" of helping people (little time in the conventional "helping" profession and much more time in the "training" profession), I have seen this happen to everyone without exception. The best example, of course, is my self.
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Dialog: The Starting Point, The Common Ground

2013-03-27T00:27:00.002-07:00

One of my gifts from blogging is the joy of knowing Bhavana Nissima, a sentiment shared, I am certain, by all who have known her. All. I love her distinctive approach to things we see around us. Her posts question what we take for granted, yet in a very gentle, non-confrontational way.

When we announced a blogger's meet in Hyderabad in 2012, she caught a bus (after missing her train) and came to encourage us all the way from Chennai. Her posts blend social responsibility with her personal quest, with her commitment to reclaiming the feminine and with quiet moments of self disclosure. The result is a fine tapestry of thoughts and feelings (and a lot of facts) that reaches far beyond the individual and showcases what we as a people are truly capable of. This also comes through in photography illustrating her posts (as well as on her photography blog, Photobhavna).

Bhavana embodies the belief that concern by itself, unaccompanied by action, is of little value. In this guest post, she sheds light on the very essence of the journey from conflict to wholeness - Dialog. Before my introduction becomes longer than the post itself, over to Bhavana.

*****

I began this piece the day after the Hyderabad bomb blasts, sitting in an office not far from Dilsukh Nagar—the site of the blasts. In some, there was anger, in some, helplessness, in some, a real physical pain, a loss, and for others life went on— “lite teesko” as they kept reminding me.

A stream of fresh air blew through the crack in the window reminding me to think afresh, anew and to think of dialog again. Yes, even now.

You see when folks think of the word dialog, they think of two people sitting together, in a polite, civil manner, talking soft sweet words to each other, listening and comprehending and that after sometime folks come to an understanding--a consensus.

What is the use of dialog when we are speaking in chorus? What is the use of dialog when we are already in agreement? When what is at stake is not important enough? When memories don’t hurt enough? When values are not deeply rooted enough?

Dialog when you believe that a dialog is impossible. And here is how. Not a full and a sure how. But a “thereabouts” how.

Pre-Dialog

Dialog begins within yourself first. This is the toughest area of dialog.

1. Dialog is sometimes not even with a person or a community—it may happen with a book or an idea or a faith. It is not so much an “inter” process as it is an “intra” process.

2. If you are psychologically or materially invested in the issue, you have to develop an emotional distance from the topic, a process I call as “disidentification.” Identify ways in which the issues prick you and ponder on their roots. Then disidentify by mindfully observing the thoughts that course through your mind and work on being still.

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Mental Health: Expecting Different Results

2013-03-11T23:42:00.001-07:00

"Fairy tales are nice." ~ Syd Barrett (6 January 1946 – 7 July 2006)

Most of us will have had some interface or experience with the inhuman practices that go on in the name of mental health treatment. We have heard of patients shackled to their beds being burnt to death, we have heard of rape and abuse, and we have heard about the horrors of addiction treatment methods. Most of us would have also experienced the stigma and the shame attached to mental health issues in a social setting. The combination of these two – a poor understanding of mental health and an ill-equipped, verging on abusive treatment environment - make a perfect recipe for tragedy. And this tragedy plays out in a million lives – both in the afflicted, and in the affected – every single day in our country.

One of the compulsions that made me step away from my life in the helping profession was my inability to understand or agree with traditional models of mental illness and its treatment. In many discussions, I have been branded an escapist, preferring to stay away rather than commit myself. Everybody is entitled to an opinion. In this post, which was originally started on the birthday of Thelonious Monk (which coincidentally is also World Mental Health Day- Google it) and completed on International Women’s Day (coincidence, purely, trust me), I share my thoughts on this topic by looking at three examples that will be familiar to most readers. This is a post that got written very, very slowly, and to allow our understanding to develop, I would invite you to read it slowly too.

We are all searching for our center; it is just that some people need to travel far and wide before they get there.

I must acknowledge my indebtedness to Aarathi Selvan and NVL Satish for helping me to clarify my thinking, for reading and suggesting edits to this post, and for sharing their expert understanding of the subject at hand. I am also inspired by the writing of Indu Chibber and Surabhi Surendra who tirelessly promote a better understanding of mental health through their blogs.

Are You Mentally Healthy?

The etymological root of the word “health” is shared by the words “whole” and “holy.” The World Health Organization defines it as "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” In the case of “mental” health, the WHO defines it as "a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community."

Leaving aside physiological and organic disorders of the mind, which easily and universally fit into this definition, one then wonders why the understanding of mental health differs from culture to culture and across periods of time. The answer lies in the fact that the general understanding of mental health closely overlaps the “clinical definition” but adds the concept of normative behavior to it.
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Own/Belonging

2013-03-05T02:15:00.000-08:00

At the fourth cross, holding the kerb
Search for a sign, any, easy to please,
An elf in a waiting car window looks at me
And keeps looking, and I keep looking.

A film, a memory, a number, no background.
On the public address system, mother says,
If you see anybody loitering around suspiciously
Please report it to the nearest police station.

Lights change, making life simpler to see.

The car moves on, the brat still looks at me.
The questions, the fears, the world, shiny reflections.
I am wanted! I am wanted! I am wanted!

Hyderabad, February 2013

Review: When Your Granny Was A Little Girl

2013-02-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

On the occasion of my parents' 51st wedding anniversary, here is a guest post of a different kind. This is a review of Mom's memoirs written by Ritwik Mallik, a promising young (three bestselling novels old) author. Ritwik is currently associated as a content writer with a travel company in Delhi. His official bio mentions that he is a former School Captain of DPS Noida and presently a UG student at Hans Raj College, DU.

Ritwik Mallik

WHEN YOUR GRANNY WAS A LITTLE GIRL by Manju Dasgupta

Sanskar Publications, 24 pages

Review by Ritwik Mallik

It is seldom that one comes across inspiring stories in our daily lives, let alone inspiring people. However, Manju Dasgupta is one such exception. Septuagenarian, Madam Dasgupta or MDG as she is fondly called, decided to pen her debut novel in a bid to share with her grandchildren priceless accounts of her childhood days. This was done in an attempt to bridge the gap that grandparents face in communicating with their grandsons and daughters in an age dominated by Facebook and other forms of social media.

The narration starts with the earliest memories of MDG and ends with the story of her father’s deteriorating health – a time when the author believes that her childhood ceased to exist. It is a journey of thirteen years dipped in history, nostalgia and most importantly subtle social messages which very few would’ve been able to pull off so brilliantly.

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Family Matters

2013-02-26T03:27:00.001-08:00

Families are strange things, and I have had my share of learning and unlearning about what families really are. Like halogens and noble gases, apples and roses, and Homer and Bart, poets and madmen have been instrumental in this learning. My family today includes each one of you in addition to the proverbial menagerie that our home and our lives have grown into.

A couple of weeks back, a group of poets were busy chatting outside Landmark Book Store after their monthly meeting to share poetry and poetics. Linda had just returned from launching her first volume of verse at Kolkata and was discussing the title of her next volume with Madhavi. Nivedita and +sandeep ingilela were busy comparing how getting married impacts poetic output. I was busy checking out the landscape for inspiration.

Nivedita is a poet, writer and a publisher who has been instrumental in getting many of us networked. She has already published three books. Linda edits a magazine on education and is an avid (and acclaimed) Haiku writer. Her book Significance of the Insignificant is a collection of Haiku and has nothing to do with Herodotus. You can buy her book online here. Sandeep is an artist, a poet, and a music buff who presently obsesses over animation and computer graphics. I am a self-employed full-time tea drinker. As we passed the smoke around, Nivedita mentioned that her next publishing project was going to be called Family Matters.

All of us asked in unison, "Why Family Matters?"
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The Love of his Life

2013-02-12T22:13:00.001-08:00

The worn out lines of the wooden table looked back at him as he sat warming his numb hands on a half empty glass of tea. He had driven as far out as he could from the city, and then turned off into the dark, losing track of time and direction, till he found this particular tea shop in the middle of nowhere. The owner and his wife were in the middle of an argument in a language he didn’t understand and a small girl sat at the back, her skin and her dress merging into the shadows, rocking and reading gently aloud from a book. He thought he heard a voice echo like someone announcing the departure of a train from a station. Surprised, he looked around. Then he realized it was the doctor’s voice still ringing in his head. He wiped at his oily forehead and sipped at the hot, sweet, milky tea.

His life was one that was easy to envy, and many envied him too. He was looked up to for wisdom and prudence, and he was talked about for his gentleness and his compassion. He spoke kindly to everyone and people around him believed his life was as harmonious as one could wish for. Yet he knew how easy it was to both understand and misunderstand a language one did not know. The agitated voices in the shop distracted him for a moment. The shopkeeper’s wife was obviously calling the shopkeeper lazy, while he was denying it violently, pointing to various parts of the shop to show all the work that he did while she -- now he was pointing out at the darkness -- was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was talking about her affair with another man. He smiled at the acrobatics that his mind was doing and told himself that, for all he knew, they were discussing who to vote for. Or more likely, where the next day’s expenses would come from.

There are truths that go to the grave with a person. And there are truths that can only be revealed after a person goes to the grave. It worried him that the doctor might actually not have told him all that was there to be told. Strangely, this thought led him to think of the many women he had desired in his youth but who had not felt that he was the one they wanted to spend their life with. In his mind, they had died, and each of their husbands, or fathers, or sisters, or sons, came to see him, to tell him, hesitantly, one by one, that it was he, and only he, that she had truly longed to be with. The shopkeeper and his wife stopped their discussion abruptly as they looked in his direction to see what he was chuckling about. When they resumed their argument, he was as certain as one can be that it no longer was one.

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Horn Sutra: The Orgasmic Frenzy of Indian Traffic

2013-02-01T22:12:00.001-08:00

I am not the envious kind, but I clearly recall a bad episode of it while reading +PURBA RAY's A-Musing for the first time. She already was a celebrated blogging phenomenon; I was green. If you have ever watched green turning green, that was me - now and then. Her way of making me laugh and boil at the same time, her casual yet profound, almost dummies-friendly, conversational style, had me hooked from the start - unlike many, perhaps equally clever satirists who leave you wondering what they are talking about. And no, that was not an obscure autobiographical reference. Like Anurag Kashyap and Shah Rukh Khan, she makes the most of meanings and words such as dichotomous. And as if her attitude wasn't bad enough, she has opinions too. Just imagine.

For a long time, she was just a writer I read and admired, identified with, and did not dare irritate or imitate. Little did I know that she has this way of slipping under your skin, subverting your thinking and making herself a part of your life - without you noticing it. I still remember that during my very first exchange with her about two years ago, I ended up chatting with her as if we knew each other for several lifetimes. That was when I realized how powerful her writing is. I began to see her mastery - making writing seem so natural and graceful, that the art is no longer visible to you. She makes you believe what you are reading are your thoughts, just presented cleverly and humorously, no big deal. To my mind, that is the goal of good writing, no big deal.

Picture of our family (foreground) with Purba Ray (background)

Must have been the greens in the cheesecake, but one fine evening, I asked her if she would consider writing a piece for Subho's Jejune Diet. A few days later, I found this in the mail. Without any further delay (it has already been sitting in my drafts for too long), here is Purba's take on the only thing that matters - survival.

*****

Horn Sutra: The Orgasmic Frenzy of Indian Traffic

The 21st century saw many emerging traits, relegating the old ones to the dustbins of history. But we still insist on conning our newer generations into believing that the peacock is our national bird, even though all they see is crows and pigeons cawing and cooing and shitting on window ledges. The national animal is the near extinct Bengal Tiger, while mongrels continue to multiply merrily under Maneka Gandhi’s patronage. We now have a national insect – the deadly mosquito, a national pastime – outrage, and a national crime – rape. Our school textbooks, however, continue to focus on kharif and rabi crops and Gandhi’s satyagraha movement.

India has moved on. Her record keepers obviously haven’t.
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Sexy Thing: Understanding Sex and Love Addiction

2013-01-26T00:35:00.000-08:00

The first lesson in politics is learned when a growing infant realizes that his or her behavior can exert control over that of his or her parents. The second major political lesson is years later when one experiences the power of sexual attraction and hormones. All the stuff that you learn in the students unions and in working committees of political parties is really about how to subvert things – baby stuff when compared to the power of controlling, dominating, possessing, abusing another – body, mind and often soul.

The politics of sexual attraction and sexual control is commonly unappreciated and rarely spoken about due to the guilt and shame associated with it. How many men would be willing to admit that if there were no social repercussions, they would have not been as controlled as they are? Perhaps not many. Given circumstances, perhaps not even me. But, science says that is how we are. Of course, science is wrong.

Most kids, at least in Indian societies, do not grow up seeing their parents be intimately affectionate towards each other. If they (the parents) are intimately affectionate, it is usually accompanied by a disclaimer – do you have no shame, in front of the kids? Some of us, if not most of us, learned about sex from our peers or from porn, both of which are terribly off, let me assure you. Took me years to unlearn some of the stuff I picked up there, with its due share of heartache and poor self esteem. There was no sex ed in our times, and my parents turned blue if I asked them how one could “plan” for a brother or sister. A large part of the rest of us, sadly, learned by being victims of sexual abuse, usually by close friends or family and sometimes by strangers. The pleasure associated with the act make the process of victimization even more shameful, and most of us grew up with deeply conflicting ideas about sex. Add to that the common interpretation of religious views on sex.

Is it any wonder that we are this messed up as a society about sex? While we try and figure out what a truly effective, rational and compassionate response to the present mess around us now should be, here is a look at what turns sex into a destructive and addictive force instead of a celebrant, life affirming one.

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HBM2013 - Enabling Change Through Social Media

2013-01-24T06:28:00.001-08:00

"The pure lotus flower blooms out of the muddy pond, the fragrant sandalwood grows from the soil, the graceful cherry blossoms come forth from trees, the beautiful Yang Kuei-fei was born of a woman of low station, and the moon rises from behind the mountains to shed light on them. Misfortune comes from one’s mouth and ruins one, but fortune comes from one’s heart and makes one worthy of respect." - New Year's Gosho, ND

The Hyderabad Bloggers’ Meet 2013 started out as an email connect on New Years day among the small group of people who were part of the first meet in June 2012. Over the next three weeks, it turned into a unique social experiment that led up to the event on January 20, 2013 at ITC Kakatiya. The theme was Enabling Change Through Social Media. Details were put up on the social networks five days before the event. It was by invitation only, and the press and media were not invited. In no time, we had more confirmations than we had planned for, and ITC was kind enough to make arrangements to accommodate us all.

Chef Sekar with Pattu (C) and Bhavana

Ashok and his friends - part of the team led by Mr. Kishore who helped us out with the arrangements at the venue.

The staff of ITC were extremely courteous, and when we walked in to the venue, we found the executive chef of the hotel, Chef Sekar, in his work attire, waiting for us. We thought he wanted to discuss the arrangement for refreshments. To our surprise, it turned out that he was a blogger too, and contrary to what one might expect, a social responsibility blogger who has been involved with several social activism movements across the country. He joined us for the entire meeting and shared his valuable insight during the discussions that followed.

Satish Kumar listens as Sekar speaks about his journey as a blogger

The event kicked off with a talk on the bells and whistles of attracting search traffic and page ranking presented by Satish Kumar of CoolPCTips (as well as Director, Maxthon India). The fundamentals of SEO that he shared made us realize that all of us could benefit from keeping small technical details in mind when we go about our blogging work. He also shared how blogging could be a financially lucrative opportunity too. His passion and his expertise came through as he excitedly shared how easy it is to make your page look good to search engine robots. His passion and expertise came through repeatedly during the meeting, and his passion and expertise came through repeatedly during the meeting.

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Making Way for the New

2013-01-18T03:50:00.000-08:00

In my corporate avatar, may he rest in peace, I could never honor my commitment to the arts because there were way too many things that demanded my attention all the time. I was perpetually busy and all my personal aspiration inevitably found themselves on my "some day" list. I did not realize then that a lot of what I was "attending to" were really very temporal and superficial tasks that did not add true value to my being. However, I am thankful to have those days behind me since they have made me who I am today.

One of the places where I learned a lot about how to be meaningfully productive and pursue my passion was through the writing of +Shankari Sundaram. Shankari is an aspiring novelist and a productivity blogger who I had the good fortune of connecting with at our first Hyderabad Bloggers' Meet in 2012. She juggles homemaking and two young kids and still manages to stay on top of her writing targets. Not surprisingly, her blog is called Oh! I Juggle. It is my honor to share with you this extremely useful guest post that she wrote for Subho's Jejune Diet.

The New Year came and went and is not so new anymore. But, many of us are still thinking about the year gone by. Of dreams that were fulfilled, those that were born and some that had to be buried. In between endings and beginnings is a wonderful time to reflect, rejoice and renew. As soon as reflections are done, thoughts immediately move to the coming year. The future is very interesting that way. There is so much flexibility in it. Since it has not yet happened, the future is spontaneously hopeful. Anything seems possible. Most of us capture that wonderful feeling of promise by immediately drawing up plans, creating a blueprint for our dreams. That is all good. I truly believe in goal setting and targeted action for creating desired results.

I also believe that New Year resolutions are not just a whimsical list of things you think you want to do. After all, the purpose of life is not to clutter our days with incoherent busyness. It is also not to manufacture yardsticks and milestones of performance that we can touch and then show off to the world. Success is such a personal measure of value. It can rarely be defined in universal terms. True, business success is usually measured in financial terms. It is certainly simpler that way. Numbers are a clear measure and it is easy to fall into the trap of measuring success only that way. We instinctively follow similar guidelines to measure success in our professional and personal lives too. There is nothing wrong in wanting to achieve more, pushing ourselves to do that little extra which might make all the difference. Wisdom is to recognize where to put in the extra and where to pull back. Extending and stretching in all directions is not a recipe for contentment.

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Announcing the Hyderabad Bloggers Meet: January 2013

2013-01-16T00:07:00.002-08:00

Many of you will remember the blast we had during the Hyderabad Bloggers Meet last year. We have been wanting to meet up again, and while most of us have stayed in touch and met in small groups, it felt like time to "do it again." It set out as a discussion a few weeks back, and as things crystallized, it has snowballed into something interesting.

The motivation was to get all of us together and have a good time while adding value to our role as bloggers and changemakers. The challenge was to do it without giving into the demands of consumerism and commerce. We asked around to find people who would share their experience and wisdom with us on topics that would interest us all. That bit was easy. We then spoke with institutions to see if they would like to help us out for the heck of it, without any overt return on investment. This too was made easy mystically. As part of our work, some of us go out of our way to help others, without really expecting much, if anything, in return. The causes we had created with our work in the past gave us some effects, and we found people coming forward to help us out.

This is a group photo from the event that we managed to take at the last minute after many of the participants had left!

By mid-week we could finalize the speakers' line-up as Satish Kumar on SEO, Anuradha Goyal on Travel Blogging, Shankari Sundaram on Getting Published and Ratnakar Sadasyula on Social Media Activism. In spite of the short notice, we were also able to get The ITC Group as Venue Partners, Maxthon as Technology Partners, Blend Of Tea as Logistics Partners and BigBasket as Giveaway Sponsors. Mystically, it was turning into an event far beyond our imagination. It was as if everything we could have asked for was being arranged for, and then some!!

BigBasket is our Giveaway Sponsor

So here's announcing the meeting of bloggers in and around Hyderabad for sharing best practices and creating a social responsibility platform. The underlying theme for the meeting is the spirit of enabling change through the social media.

ITC Kakatiya is the Venue Partner for this event.

Date: January 20, 2013
Time: 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
Venue: ITC Kakatiya Boardroom, Begumpet

Topics being addressed include:
1. SEO Best Practices
2. From Blogging to Getting Published
3. Travel Blogging
4. Social Media Activism.

The meeting will be followed by informal networking. The foodies will probably gravitate towards dinner. A splendid time is guaranteed for all.

A Facebook Event Page has been put up for those who are on our common network. If you cannot access it and would like to participate, please leave a message in the comments. Carpool coordination is taking place on the Facebook Event Page. Please confirm participation. Please be on time. Please bring your own vuvuzela.

Blend of Tea is the Logistics Partner

Body Electric: Tribute to Self

2013-01-10T18:47:00.001-08:00

The Kishore Kumar in me beats my Manna Dey hollow on most days. I am the King of the Hill, even when I am the only one in the tournament. More often than not, that is how it is. I am contented and productive by myself. I am yet to know what boredom is, and given the years I have clocked, it seems more and more unlikely I will ever find out. I am a perfectionist and a control freak, and would rather do something myself than risk having to tell someone that it could have been done better. I over-aspire and challenge my limitations as a habit. Sometimes, it tells on the nerves. Why do I do it then? Because that is who and how I am now. Because who and how I am pleases me now.

YOLO. So much to do and so little time. I choose what I will fill my unforgiving minute with, and I am never at a loss. I would rather die trying than never at all. Have I always been this way? Nope. I have had my periods of living cautiously, sticking to the middle of the road, and licking at my regrets. Have I got it figured out? Maybe not. The phenomenal sum of all my mistakes - that's me.
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10 Things You Need to Know About Twitter

2013-01-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

Srini Chandra is a Bangalore-based writer whose satire I have enjoyed and admired from the time I discovered his blog. His work is incisive, funny and profoundly relevant. He is perhaps better known for his wildly popular book, 3 Lives in Search of Bliss and his collection of short stories, Instant Karma. He also is the funniest and one of the most followed tweeple on my twitter timeline. (News anchors don't count on either funniness or followership). I happened to send him a message a few weeks ago asking whether he would consider writing something for the readers of Subho's Jejune Diet. I was prepared for the kind of god-humored silence that meets many of our prayers. Instead, I received a warm reply, followed by the post you are about to read. Over to Srini.

Sometime around May 2011, I got myself a Twitter account. I logged in and looked around for a bit. The first impression of Twitter was not a good one. Chaos ruled. If you’re a Member of Parliament, you’ll nod with a knowing smile on hearing this.

Back in the day, mad men (and women) roamed on streets muttering to themselves. It seemed that most of them were now on Twitter. It was bedlam. Disorder reigned. Daunted, I retreated to the relative sanity of the real world.

Fast forward to January 2012. In a moment of optimism, the sort that prevails at the onset of a new year, I ventured back. A password reset later, I found that I had 16 followers. This led to minor exhilaration and then confusion. It seemed incredible that these people (even if they were friends), having found me and after knowing that I had tweeted just once (“Hello World”), had found me worthy of following. That was perplexing. Indeed, I found this notion of ‘following’ fascinating. Who should I follow? What did they have to tell me? Did I have anything to tell them? Intrigued, I decided to delve. And when I delve, it’s usually deeper.

Upon cogitation, I set myself the task of getting 1,000 followers by the end of 2012. I figured that if I was able to get there, that would be definitive proof of the Mayan prophecy. And so I began tweeting. Here are a few observations from that journey.

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A Close Shave!

2013-01-05T00:42:00.000-08:00

I was secretly pleased when the last date for a certain blogging event passed us by, since the missus had written a post that she wanted me to enter for it. The post was not very flattering to me, so I dilly-dallied in the name of being busy with the anti-rape protests and let the last date go past. But as is the fate of all married men, such pleasures are only temporal. The last date got extended and I got bombarded. So, for the sake of family harmony and world peace, here is the post. Please do not read it, do not share it on your networks, and do not vote for it. And please, please, please - do not make the same mistake that I have made – of asking your better half (strike out) dearest spouse to bare his or her soul on your blog!

*****

When I met you first, you were living in a men’s hostel, and I would not be allowed to come inside. Most days when I would come to pick you up on my bike, you would still not be ready, and I would wait outside. Your room had a back door that led down to the bath, and you would stand on the landing, wearing a towel and shave yourself, hanging your mirror on the window grill. You would use a double-edged safety razor and lather up with a brush and a round of shaving soap. I would be sitting on my bike on the other side of the wall and watch you as you lathered up a second time and carefully ran your razor along the contours of your scarred jaw, and wait as you disappeared down the stairs to wash your face. I actually looked forward to this quiet, voyeuristic and almost erotic experience. I might have never told you this but it was quite a turn on.

A couple of years later, we set up home in a two room studio apartment, and though we were still hard up, you graduated to shaving cream and the twin-blade Gillette Sensor Excel. You would gush after each shave about its swivel head while I would rush to get breakfast ready in time for you to leave for work. On evenings when we would have the energy to go out (yes, there was such a time) you would wait till the last moment and then announce that you wanted to shave. You would point out that it was not a female prerogative to keep the man waiting and then purposely adopt a snail’s pace and explain the nuances of shaving to me as you let the razor glide down your throat, spooning up the lather lovingly and into sensuous mounds. I would sulk and pout, but I loved the clean and smooth look that you would wear when we finally went out. When our cheeks would touch, it was magic. I loved the fact that you wanted to look good and attractive when you would be seen with me.

Your mother used to tell me that you were middle-aged by the time you were in your teens. I realized what she had meant as we moved into our present home three years back, and you showed no interest in doing the place up. Minimalism – that is what you called it. Frugality was your standard response to my choices when we went shopping for furniture or upholstery. There I was all excited to do all the things I had dreamed of, and there you were, a boring bum with a book cover for a face.
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The Vista D90 ZX: First Look

2013-01-03T19:14:00.003-08:00

My new year started on a pleasant note. I was invited to test drive and review the Vista D90 from Tata Motors thanks to the bloggers’ review initiative of Blog Adda. After a few exploratory calls, the car was dropped off at my place for me to use.

Don't Miss the No Parking sign.For some, there are no rules!

To call the Vista D90 ZX an upgrade on the earlier Vista would be unfair, since other than the body shape and size, almost everything else has got a significant makeover. As a matter of fact, Tata Motors calls it a sedan class car in its promotions. Before I get to how it felt driving it, here is a quick look at what it is made of. Skip the next three paragraphs if you cannot wait or if it doesn't matter. I wouldn't, however.
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Tea December

2012-12-31T00:51:00.001-08:00

'The situation is like the joints in a piece of bamboo: if one joint is ruptured, then all the joints will split.'

I have been doing my best to imbibe this spirit for quite a while, and I sit to write this post with a balance of gratitude and determination. After nineteen months of living precariously, in December (provided everyone pays up) I would have for the first time sustained myself and my family through my earnings as a writer. I entirely write what I am driven to (which rules out a lot of stuff), and for me, this is a big achievement. If there is one thing that has made it possible, it is the faith, patience, strength, support and love of my family.

There have been several breakthroughs in terms of blogging and writing, most of which I have shared with you here. These include blogging awards, traffic milestones, and of course, extremely heartening interactions with fellow bloggers. For those who are chancing upon this blog for the first time, you might enjoy my "Greatest Hits of 2012" post that I did recently. Back to the subject of this post.

In December, I witnessed the fruition of eight long years of planning to share my love for fine tea with the world. This is the first step towards my dream of – some would call it true welfare state, others would call it world peace and happiness – let’s say, humanity. It is, for those who have missed on my babble on this earlier, an online curated catalog of premium tea. It is the finest tea that you can lay your hands on, and this is just the beginning.
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Greatest Hits of 2012

2012-12-28T03:27:00.003-08:00

2012 has been a good year for me and my family, (I promise to do a post on that soon) and as I look back on my writing during the year, I feel sufficiently gratified. Sufficiently at least to live through the quizzical faces when I say I write, or when I say I do not have a business card, or when I say that I write in order to "save the world." Sufficiently for me to "keep at it." Bad luck for those who were hoping otherwise.

This time last year, I was excited about embarking on a fresh departure, trying to fulfill some of my longstanding dreams. What I did not know then was how much time, effort, and patience the journey would demand from me. What is amazing is that I have not regretted a single step of the way, that I have largely not been found wanting, and that I have not given up. To a large extent, this blog and readers like you have been responsible for that. Without your love and encouragement, I would not have had the courage to plod on. And if I have faltered, I beg forgiveness from six crore Gujaratis.

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5 Ways to Practice Gratitude in an Insane World

2012-12-20T06:08:00.000-08:00

As the "end of the world" descends upon us, I have begun dreading the morning papers. Every day brings stories of inhumanity and mayhem to my doorstep. You cannot avoid it anywhere, at the workplace, on social media or at the bus stop. It would appear that we have lost all perspective on what is normal and healthy and what is insane and sick. How do we keep the faith - in our society, in our governance, in our selves, in such times?

Image from NBC website (msnbc.com)

It is my privilege to share with you a post attempting to answer this question written for Subho's Jejune Diet by Aarathi Selvan. A practitioner of holistic psychotherapy, Aarathi is also a "mommy blogger" at Between Life's Doings, one of the nicest blogs on mindfulness I have ever read. Over to +Aarathi Selvan

*****

I live with the fact that the mental health services provided at my place of work can be against my philosophy of care. I also live with the reality of leaving my little one at home in the care of others who absolutely love her, while I work towards a better world for myself and others, and yet at the same time yearn for and miss her. I live with the knowledge that small children are shot dead and slit open in schools around the world. In a world that may look like it is going to pieces every day, in a life which seems to have more downs than ups, finding sanity, grace and peace seem like such an effort.

And an effort it is, to find peace, sanity and grace amidst life’s difficulties. Evolutionary psychologists will tell you that we are wired to look out for what is wrong in a situation rather than what is going well. Our survival depends of making sure that we scan for negative things in our circumstances. It is but natural to have that bent of mind then, to look at and focus on the negative side of life and life situation. However, Buddhist psychology seems to gently put our fears to rest. In the words of the Pema Chodron, this negative view of the world is merely "an innocent misunderstanding that we all share, something that can be turned around, corrected, and seen through, as if we were in a dark room and someone showed us where the light switch was."

The route to action, the route to looking at life with a balanced view, the way to look at my own circumstance without being bogged down by all that is negative around me, the way for me is through gratitude. Being grateful for the good in my life and being grateful for the difficult, miserable and hard things in my life. Gratitude helps me look back with a realistic lens that both good and bad have happened in my life, and I was able to find the “good” (e.g. My strengths as well as others’) within the “bad”. Gratitude also helps me look at right now with a view of mindful awareness of the “good” and “bad” in my situation. Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology swears by gratitude as one of the most important tools to develop a happy life and to beat depression and anxiety, two of the oft occurring mental illnesses in the world.

Gratitude is a daily practice of being thankful for the gifts of life, for being thankful for both joys and sorrow that make us fully human. When you start a gratitude practice, the key is to partake in it every evening for two weeks at least (you will eventually get hooked). It is important to stick to it in order to gradually change the way our mind is bent towards focusing on the negative.
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Decode My Grocery List

2012-12-14T23:33:00.000-08:00

I went to bed late last night after losing my sleep over the shooting at Newtown. My day began with an online shopping experience that I thought deserved a post, to help me overcome the bitterness of our environment!

It was 7 a.m., still chilly. My groceries were delivered at my doorstep by a shiny pair of young men, neatly sorted (the items, not the men) into category wise trays, from an online order we placed a couple of days earlier, specifying this morning since we expected to run out of veggies by just about now. Accompanied by a categorized bill.

As a large number of you live in Hyderabad, you might want to try this out. They also service Mumbai and Bangalore. I ordered leafy greens and a small range of common veggies, along with some grains and staples and a few household articles, roughly enough for a week of eating. I did not have reason to order fresh livestock and dairy but which I would think would meet the quality requirements judging from my current experience. The products were all fresh, select, clean and neatly packed. The prices are comparable to local store prices and there are discounts and offers even on veggies. In many cases, their prices are lower than the lowest supermarket prices.
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