There’s just something about music in its purest form.  A dude picks up a guitar and sings a tune.  It’s just so… soothing?  Spiritual?  Effortlessly cool?  I’m no Ted Leo, but one of these days I’m going to find the time to become that guy who can walk into your house, see a guitar sitting around, and bang out a passable cover song.

Is there a better mash-up than He Man and DVDA?  No, I don’t think so.  Plus, there’s a random Duckman cameo at the end, and that show was the best!

Interesting factoid:  Duckman’s birthday was April 18, which was last Sunday.  Happy birthday to my favorite fictional TV duck/detective voiced by Jason Alexander!

Either way, I have a new candidate to become my millionaire girlfriend or the latest in my long line of celebrity ex-wives.

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I can only imagine how many revolutions per minute Kurt is doing in his grave right now, knowing that R-Patz is going to play him in a Nirvana biopic.  I hope this doesn’t happen.  (Especially since Courtney is involved in the project in an official capacity, which means they’ll leave out the part of the movie at the end in which Courtney has her husband killed.)  Still, you could throw the whole Twilight cast at this movie, and it still has a fighting chance to be good because A) it’s about Nirvana, B) will have access to the music, and C) might have David Fincher directing.

Dear Mr. Coffee,

I know you’re up there in heaven, looking down on me.  I know that whenever I need you, you’ll be there to perk my brain up with your stimulating black blood.  That’s why you’re the best fictional person ever.   Please fill me with your warmth and artificial energy, because until I can replace my blood with a combination of brake fluid and crystal meth, you’re all I’ve got.

Cheers,

Ron.

So, long story short, if you liked those two movies, or you like Craig Robinson in any of his 20 or so memorable roles this year from Miss March to Pineapple Express and Zack and Miri Make A Porno, then you’ll like this movie.  Also, John Cusack fans will probably enjoy it, too.  Apparently there are a lot of those.

Author’s note:  Crispin Glover has now been in two movies where he’s played the same character 20 years apart.  First George McFly in Back to the Future and now again as Phil the bellhop, 1986 and 2010 versions.  He now joins Tim “Ted the Bellhop” Roth and Jerry Lewis in the pantheon of great movie bellhops.  Just some trivia for you.

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Unfortunately, the movie is actually pretty terrible.  It’s kind of an anti-The Crazies in the respect that it’s taking from great source movies, but doesn’t do anything with it.  Even more damning, it’s got some really good actors in the lead roles.  In particular, Forest Whitaker gives a great performance that’s absolutely wasted on some really terrible material.

I don’t get it.  Why would a good actor sign on for a bad movie?  Did he not know the script was bad when he signed on?  Did they kill it with editing (not possible since the movie is still 2 hours long) and rewrites?  Did he just need the money?

There’s nothing sadder than a good actor in a terrible film, giving us his all with shitty material.  I mean, if it’s a choice between Forest working and Forest not working, I’d rather see him than not see him.  Still, he could do better than this.  There’s no reason for him not to be doing better roles, aside from his weight (he looks much slimmer now than he has previously).

Enjoy this delicious bowl of weird pudding.