Suddenly Stepmom

Our amazing free vacation

2012-10-23T21:01:00.002+01:00

Last week was our long-awaited radio prize holiday at Lochgoilhead, and it was fabulous. How did we win a holiday on the radio? Earlier this year, I heard about a contest that Real Radio Scotland were running which was basically an essay competition in which entrants wrote in and explained what is it about Scotland that makes them proud. I told my Scottish husband that he should write an essay explaining that he has a foreign wife and that it makes him proud to show me everything that's great about Scotland and how nice it is to be able to rediscover his own country through my fresh eyes...or something like that. Sure enough, my super husband wrote the winning entry and they gave us a week at Drimsynie Estate at Lochgoilhead as a prize! We've been waiting for this week to come since we heard the news in January and last week was finally our time. We didn't really know what to expect, so we were pleasantly surprised to find such comprehensive facilities and a great range of organized activities - it was almost like being on a cruise. We had an unforgettable week of swimming, bowling, ice skating, table tennis, badminton, miniature golf, nature walks and good food. Here are a few pictures...

The village across from the estate where we stayed.

Fallen leaf on the beach. The colors were gorgeous at this time of year!

It was a wonderful and much-needed break in so many ways.

We tracked a seal at the head of the loch for quite a while until I got this shot. Hello, Mr. Seal!

No holiday is complete without two cats. Alvin has been overgrooming, so he spent most of the time in his cone, poor fellow.

Gorgeous hydrangeas

Alvin had a little un-coned moment to take in the misty morning air.

Loch Lomond

The day after we got back, it was just me and my husband again and we didn't want that holiday feeling to end, so we drove up to walk to the top of a hill we'd never climbed before. It's called Duncryne and though it's steep, it's not a long climb and there's this fabulous view of the southernmost bit of Loch Lomond to be had at the top.

Now it's back to the regular old rhythm of life and though I'd much rather be back up at Drimsynie, it feels great to have been able to enjoy an entire week of relaxation and unforgettable scenery. We'd all like to go back next year. Guess we'd better start listening to the radio again...

The next level

2012-10-11T08:59:00.000+01:00

Well here I am for my biannual blog post...or at least that's what it looks like. There's a cool mosque in Bukhara, Uzbekistan, which archaeologists have discovered over the course of several excavations is actually a bit of a layer cake. The current street-level building is a mosque, but directly below its foundations are a synagogue, a Buddhist monastery, an older mosque and a Zoroastrian fire temple. This is what my blog has become: something constantly rebuilt on the foundations of what was there before.

It has been a busy summer and touring season, which is probably why I haven't posted since March. I returned home from my last tour two weeks ago and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces. There are letters to write, expense reports to finish, inboxes to clear out and a US presidential ballots to complete and return. Guess I'd better get to it...

A weekend away

2012-03-30T02:15:00.001+01:00

I'm off to Italy this afternoon to seek out a bit of mental space. I hear they have a lot of it there. It's not quite Seattle, but it's what I can manage in terms of time and money right now. So Milan and Venice, here I come. I'll be back Monday night, hopefully refreshed and out of my funk. Funk the funk, that's what I say.

An illustrated 40-question mental check-in

2012-03-22T17:10:00.000+00:00

A friend sent me this link the other day to a blog post with 40 photos, each of which has a question to spur on a bit of self-reflection. The pictures are lovely and many of the questions are great for a little peek at your own mental state. This one really got me:

Make that 4,500 miles in my case. And bearing in mind that the text says "thing," not "person," I'd have to say the thing I miss most right now is Denny's. Yes, Denny's...but really, any anonymous 24-hour diner will do. Bonus points if it's in a strip mall parking lot.

What I miss about Denny's is that it's an anonymous haven where I used to be able to go to get a temporary change of scenery and collect my thoughts. I would go to study, to be around people without having to interact, and heck, sometimes I even liked whatever soup was on offer that day. But there's nothing like it here in Scotland. There are pubs, but I wouldn't go to one alone now that I'm married (isn't that weird? In my old life, I used to have no problem wandering into a bar alone), and the all-night diner landscape is pretty bleak here. Other than the hospitals, the only other 24-hour establishment I know of is a big grocery store and that's just not the same. Aimlessly wandering the aisles of the supermarket at midnight just because I need a bit of mental space is rather depressing, whereas at a 24-hour diner, mental space is exactly what's on the menu - it's right next to the chicken fried steak, and they never run out!

I'm planning on going home for a visit in November, and until then I will do my best to bring Denny's to me somehow or another. No, I'm not going to open up a Scottish Denny's franchise (though if you do, please drop me a line with the address), but I'm just going to do my best to find little thinking spaces wherever I can. Because every stepmom needs a bit of room to sort out her thoughts from time to time. And if these thinking spaces come with bottomless coffee, all the better.

Happy Mums' and Stepmums' Day

2012-03-18T18:45:00.001+00:00

Today is Mothers' Day in four countries, including my adopted home, the United Kingdom. So I would like to wish a very Happy Mothers' Day to all you British, Irish, Nigerian and Bangladeshi moms (or mums) and stepmoms. And may the rest of you have a beautiful day.

An unexpected running partner

2012-03-15T12:56:00.000+00:00

One of my 2012 New Year's resolutions was to become more active...much more active - I would like to say by the end of the year that I am in the best shape of my life. I've been good about working towards that goal so far, but I slipped a bit recently; I've been so lazy this week and I felt a bit worried about falling off the exercise wagon completely. I just didn't feel like running or any other exercise, despite making grand plans to get a good workout or two in at the gym. Yesterday afternoon, I had planned on going to the gym before my elder stepson came home from school, but I didn't do that either...lazy, lazy, lazy!

Somehow or another, I finally found my motivation about an hour after dinner last night. The gym is close to where we live, so I decided to run down there and have a punishing workout, arriving back home just before the guys' bedtime. I announced my intentions to my family and my elder stepson immediately begged to go with me. Both of my stepsons are too young to use the gym, even supervised by an adult, so I couldn't let him come with me for my weight circuits. Rather than just say "no," I suggested a run instead - a quick one to the gym and back. He eagerly agreed and within minutes, we were out jogging together under the street lamps.

My elder stepson is 13 now and, like most boys at that age, he's already starting to break away from who he was as a child to forge his own personality as a young man. We see him less than we used to because he spends more time doing his own thing these days. While this is definitely good and healthy, it makes all of us grown-ups a bit wistful because we see that he's not a little boy anymore.

When we reached the gym, neither of us were tired, so we kept going...and going, and going. Next thing we knew, we were more than two miles from home and still feeling quite robust. I was very impressed with my stepson's stamina. He's obviously much younger than I am and a lot of that energy is effortless, but I've been training since November to be able to run this long without stopping and he still did it like it was no big deal at all.

The two of us had some good chat out there, and we planned out routes we'd like to take on future runs. We arrived back home just before the guys' bedtime, feeling quite tired but proud of ourselves. We both agreed to do it again the following Wednesday evening, which is the one night that nobody in our family has any scheduled activities. I dropped to sleep exhausted not long after the guys did, feeling very much back on the fitness wagon. My husband mapped our route on Google Earth and it turns out that we ran 4.66 miles. I felt great about that, and even better about having a new activity to do with a certain young man in our house.

If I could wrap this story up with a moral for those of us with kids in our lives (especially those of the adolescent persuasion), it would be to remain open to connecting with them in a variety of ways. When my stepson asked if he could join me at the gym, I could have easily said "no, you're too young" and gone off to do my own workout. But instead, I tried to make room for him in my plan and was hugely rewarded for it. Sometimes the answer really is "no," but if the kids are wanting to do an activity with you, it's probably in your best interests to turn it into a "yes" somehow.

Something to pique your Pinterest

2012-03-13T15:21:00.000+00:00

Is anybody out there on Pinterest? Though I didn't know what to make of it at first, I am now a regular user and I love the site. People use Pinterest in all kinds of different ways; some treat it like a photo sharing site, some promote their own websites or products, and some go just to get home decorating ideas or inspiration for recipes or crafts. As for myself, I use Pinterest mostly as a visual representation of my bookmarks. I've accumulated so many websites in my bookmarks menu that I refer back to at various times, but they can be hard to organize or recall when looking at nothing but a long series of links - i.e. your standard bookmark menu. Pinterest lets me build a collection of the sites I enjoy and organize them into themes. What's even better is that I get to choose a picture from the website as a preview photo to jog my memory about why I bookmarked that page in the first place.

I have at least a dozen boards on Pinterest, but the one I would most like to draw your attention to is my "It's a Stepfamily Affair" board. This is my collection of stepfamily websites, books, blogs and other resources. Please take a look at it and let me know if something should be added to the board, including your own blog. I would like this little garden of stepfamily resources to continue growing, so feel free to send some links my way. Thank you! And on that note... Pin It

On having your own life

2012-03-09T19:20:00.001+00:00

I spent this morning as a volunteer knitting and crochet teacher at the Creative Stitches show which is in town all weekend. Though it made the rest of my day a bit stressful in terms of scheduling, I'm so glad I went out and did something I really enjoy. The last time I worked at Creative Stitches was three years ago, so it felt great to get back into the swing of things there. Some things hadn't changed at all. For example...

As a foreigner in this country, I'm always having to explain my American accent and tell my story to inquisitive Glaswegians, and today was no exception. It was all worth it though, because I met several lovely women, many of whom approached me specifically to ask about the daisy afghan I brought to work on at the show. Here's a picture, with Alvin included to help you see the how big it is right now.

You have to admit...it is a good conversation starter!

Now here's the point I'm trying to make; having your own life and your own interests is good practice for any woman, but I would argue that it's especially important for a stepmother. And for stepmothers like me who have moved to a faraway place to live with their new family, it's probably a hundred times more important! Cultivating your own interests is essential for a host of reasons. The following are just a few:

• Having a hobby or creative outlet makes YOU more interesting! And it's a known fact that interesting people are a magnet for other interesting people, so you also stand to benefit by broadening your social circle.

• A hobby keeps your stress levels down and is generally good for your health. Now don't go take up chain smoking as a hobby and blame me when things go wrong - I'm talking about choosing positive hobbies. Even just going on a 30-minute walk two or three times a week can lower your stress levels and give you a good thinking space. And really...is there an easier hobby than walking?

• Here's a tricky one; are you one of those stepmoms who gets way too caught up in your partner's drama with his ex and maybe, just maaaaaybe, you even like to stir the pot a bit yourself? For goodness sake, take up gardening or tae kwon do and focus on THAT instead of all the drama. Your family, or at the very least you, would only be the better for it. A hobby, sport or other outlet can work wonders as a drama diffuser; the drama may still be there, but you can reduce its hold on you by choosing instead to focus on the things you enjoy and can control.

• Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you do something for yourself that takes you away from the family for a short time, you may feel guilty or selfish. Please don't. Doing your own thing from time to time is really good for you! Of course you'll need to find the right balance of "me time" and "family time" yourself, but if your partner works with you, both of you can find time for your own pursuits. And after you've been away, you'll return to your family refreshed and less stressed - and that's something that everybody will enjoy.

• Your passion may lead to something bigger and better, like travel opportunities (for a concert, trade show, 5k run, whatever!) or a chance to turn your hobby into a profit. Or you may just find that the "bigger and better" light at the end of the tunnel is an increased sense of self worth, which is no mean feat if you ask me.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and get a life of your own!

Stepmoms, what are your hobbies? How do they help you keep the insanity of stepfamily life at bay?

The importance of pets

2012-03-07T11:26:00.001+00:00

Are any of you subscribers to StepMom Magazine? I'm a new subscriber myself, but already a devoted one. In the current issue, there's an article called "Stepmom's Best Friend" that really spoke to me. It's about how pets can be the glue that holds a new stepfamily together as everyone figures out their roles and settles into the new family dynamic. The article was written specifically about dogs, but I'm here to attest to the fact that cats can be just as loyal, therapeutic and instrumental in bringing a family together.

One thing I didn't mention in my update yesterday is that Frida, our beloved family cat, passed away a year ago this month. Frida started out as just my cat - I found her in 2002 at a last-chance shelter on St. Patrick's Day (her green eyes never let me forget that). I was still at university then and she became my "college roommate." She moved with me from apartment to apartment during my nomadic twenties and then when I moved to Scotland to begin this current chapter of my life with my husband and stepsons, of course Frida came with me. I didn't know how she would adjust to family life and I'll now admit that moving an older cat halfway across the world to live a completely different life was a HUGE gamble, but somehow or another, I knew she was up to it. Just like I was...

Sure enough, as Frida settled into her new surroundings, she showed us that she could be a legendary family cat. Though she was an older girl and slowing down a bit, she dazzled my stepsons with her good humor and tolerance. Frida was the guys' first four-legged pet, and as such she was a great introduction to the world of house pets and the great sense of companionship they can bring. All four of us bonded over Frida in our joint duty as her guardians. The boys fed her in the mornings, we all helped groom her and...well, I think you can guess who landed the duty of litter box cleanup! But taking care of her was a joy. And when the end of her life drew near, we all grieved over her passing together.

Pets are often more in tune to our needs than we realize. They can bring out a playfulness that helps break the ice in a tense situation, or if we need cheering up, they usually know and offer their quiet, unquestioning companionship. It's moments like these, when pets really show their intuition and empathy, that make all the vet visits and litter box cleanings worthwhile.

When Frida passed in March of last year, the boys were shocked that she wouldn't live forever and they swore that they would never want to get another cat, but I had a feeling they might change their minds in time. We all grieved throughout the spring and learned not to expect a fuzzy face at the door when we came home from work or school. But by late summer, the guys were starting to feel ready for new cat friends - they were even picking out names! So when we found our new five-month-old kittens in November, we all knew it was the right time to bring them home. Our hearts had healed and we were ready for a fresh start with two energetic new companions.

So with this post, I say goodbye to our dear Frida, who left us almost a year ago...

And give a belated welcome to Alvin and Theo, our new feline friends who joined us in November of last year...

If you don't already have a pet and nothing is preventing you from getting one (allergies, tenant policies, etc.), I would strongly urge you to consider it. Yes, they're a lot of work, but they can do so much for a family that may need a little "push" to come together. They are something that everyone can bond over and enjoy, and they also teach valuable lessons about responsibility and loss. Though we were so sad to say goodbye to our Frida last year, we bid her farewell as a family, a title we had not yet achieved when she first came to live with us. Now that I have turned all the guys into dedicated cat lovers, I don't think our home could ever be complete without at least one feline friend.

And after two years, she resurfaces!

2012-03-06T16:22:00.000+00:00

Hey, I'm back! Apparently, I needed a two-year vacation from this blog. There were several times I thought about deleting it, but something in the back of my mind kept saying "don't, you'll come back to it someday," and folks, it looks like TODAY IS THE DAY.

So how have I been keeping busy since 2010? In many ways. There have been a few big changes in my life, but most things are still the same. We'll start with the similarities:
• I'm still a stepmother! So many times when these types of blogs go silent for long periods of time, I'm sure it's assumed that something has gone wrong. That's not true in my case - I've just been distracted.
• I'm still traveling to all my favorite unusual places for work every year. I went to Mongolia for the first time last summer and my 2012 season is about to kick off next month with a trip to Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan and Iran. I'm not tired of this job yet.
• The family and I still live in Glasgow and I'm still trying to navigate life as an expat here. In many ways, that never gets any easier...it's all about the coping strategies and focusing on what is GOOD and trying to ignore the rest. In all the traveling I've done since my big blog silence began, I still haven't been home to Seattle since 2010. That's something that WILL happen before the end of the year, come hell or highwater! It's been too long since my last visit.
• All my hobbies and interests are largely the same; I still knit, cycle, cook and read with great regularity. I still struggle to find the time to write letters. Actual pen-to-paper letter writing is something I'll always say I should do more often, but struggle with. In 2011, one of my New Year's resolutions was to write one letter a month - just one! - and I didn't even manage that. The shame!

Now...what's different?
• There's a teenager in our house now. How did that happen? My elder stepson hit the big one-three last year! His little brother is about to turn eleven, so we have a while to gird our loins for the day that there will be TWO teenagers in our house. I must say (and this isn't just a bunch of cheery stepmom "everything's GREAT" BS) that so far, having a teenager in the house hasn't been the scary experience I thought it might be. Our teenager in question hasn't been acting like the stereotypical insufferable teenager (yet?) and most importantly, the lines of communication are still as open as they've always been. My husband and I love being kept in the loop, so this is really important to us. Long may it continue.
• I started running again late last year. I used to run ages ago because I was on my high school rowing team and running was a necessary evil to keep in shape for crew, but I've never really loved it. Even now, I still don't LOVE it, but I run because it's an efficient way to stay active and more or less in shape. Since I restarted this running kick back in November, I've run two 5ks, and I have another one next weekend and on the 24th, I'll run my first 10k since 1997. So I'm sure I'll blog a little bit about that, but I'll try not to bore you to death with all the minutiae of my running life.
• The biggest and best change in our lives of late has been that we moved to a new flat last month. It's just half a mile from our old flat, but it's a world apart in terms of our quality of life. I never really liked our old flat - it was just a place that we had to move to because we needed to live in a two-bedroom flat in order for me to get a visa (the first flat we all lived in together was just a one-bedroom, and as an immigrant I could have actually been deported for living there). So we lived at the old place for two years and eleven months and in all that time it never really felt like a cozy home. I'll spare you the litany of things I hated about that flat and just say that our new place is PARADISE! It's bright, fresh and clean, it has a dishwasher (my #1 requirement for wherever we moved because we didn't have one before), and we have lovely views of the hills and countryside north of Glasgow. To me, this place is more than just a flat - it has signaled the start of a whole new life and I'm so glad to be here. It means a lot to me to have a home I can be proud of, and I never had that feeling at the old flat. It's great to have a place I like coming home to.

Wind change

2010-06-27T10:46:00.001+01:00

This blog is starting to look abandoned! I assue you it is not, but I am thinking about taking it in a new direction. The thing is, I'm just not that keen on talking about my family life in a huge public forum like this...not that I ever did it that much, anyway! I've been sewing like crazy lately and I might start talking about that a bit more. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, there won't be any hard feelings if you unfollow me. I'll still be as much of a stepmom (or stepmum) as ever, but I'll be talking about it less.
Speaking of sewing and my stepchildren, look at these duvet covers I recently finished for the guys. I'm so proud of them and I might make a future post in which I share the pattern, because I mostly made it up as I went along.

From this awesome football fabric, purchased on my last trip back to Seattle, I made...

This duvet cover for my younger stepson.

And from this fabric, which is perfect for my older stepson...

I made a duvet cover for him, too.

I'm very proud of these and the boys love them. And on that note, I'm off to work. Did I mention I'm working in a fabric store when I'm not touring? It's a dangerous place to be, let me tell you...

On the road again

2010-04-11T20:18:00.000+01:00

Hello from Iran! I'm one week into my first tour of the season and it's going pretty well. I have a small group (only six people) and they're all first-time travelers to Iran. The local guide is a woman I've worked with before and she's becoming a very dear friend of mine. I wish we could see each other more often, but we're averaging twice a year now and that's more often than I get to see some of my family and oldest friends, so I guess we're doing all right.

It feels like I've been traveling for ages. Last month I had my trip back to Seattle, which was brilliant. I didn't overextend myself by trying to do too much and because of that, the trip proved to be very rewarding. On my last night in town, I had a pub night where I invited all my local friends to drop in at their leisure and have a good laugh with me. Quite a few people dropped by, including three former neighbors of mine whom I hadn't seen since I left Seattle. We had a great time together, and it was so nice to see all these people I know from different circles interacting at the same table. It was sad to leave, but I'm getting better about it. Of course I still long for my old friends and even certain aspects of my old life at times, but I feel a bit more adjusted than I did last year at this time. Long may this continue.

From Seattle I flew to Phoenix with my mom to attend the wedding of a family friend. The most exciting thing about this portion of my travels is that my husband got to join me for it! He flew into Phoenix the day after we arrived so we could all attend the wedding together and then have our belated honeymoon road trip across Arizona and over to New Mexico. We had a great time at the wedding, but I had to laugh at what a cold weather girl I've become; even though the event took place in the sweatbox that is Phoenix, I was still surprised to arrive at the venue and discover that the ceremony would take place outside. When I pictured the event in my mind beforehand, it was always indoors. It turns out that my husband had pictured it the same way, so we had a good laugh about that.

The day after the wedding, our honeymoon began. We took the long road up towards Flagstaff in our rented Hyundai and hit Sedona right before sunset. For the record, sunset is the perfect time to be in Sedona. I've been there before, but it was even better this time. When I get home later this month and can have access to Flickr again (it's blocked by the government here), I'll post a few pictures.

The next few days were a whirlwind of open road, country radio stations, roadside motels and quality time with my wonderful husband. I only wish the trip were longer, but I wouldn't change anything else. When it came time to fly out of Albuquerque, I felt like we'd really had our honeymoon and done a damn fine job of it. As soon as time and resources allow, we want to go back and pick up the trip where we left off, heading further east this time. Someday.

When I say it feels like I've been traveling for ages, I really mean it and here's why; when we got back to Glasgow, I had one full day at home before I had to go right back to the airport and fly to Iran. Yikes! And it's not like I could just take the same suitcase with me; because of the dress code here and the fact that this is a work trip, I had to completely repack my suitcase and start fresh. But somehow or another, I managed to pull it together and here I am...in a desert town called Kerman in southeast Iran. I'm glad this portion of my travels is going well, but I'll be so glad to be home again. One thing I'm really looking forward to is to get started on my big summer sewing project: duvet covers for the boys. I bought some great fabric in Seattle for this task (which the boys haven't seen - it's a surprise) and I'm going to make them both patchwork duvet covers for their beds for the start of the new school year. I can't wait to sit down at my machine and get started.

But until then, I hope all is well with you. Thanks to those of you who found me through my feature in the paper. I see that it's now online, so if you want to read an interesting article on "non-traditional mothering situations" and learn a little more about my story, click on this link. However, I must say that I was misquoted in the last paragraph about Step-Mothers' Day. I told the interviewer that we observe American Mother's Day (which is in May) for me and leave British Mothering Sunday (in March) to their own mum. That seems to work well for us. Otherwise, I felt well represented by the article. Take care and I'll post again as soon as I can.

Marching on

2010-03-02T01:17:00.000+00:00

Lo, March has arrived at long last. I've been waiting for March for what seems like ages because this is the month I get to go home for ten wonderful days. Home becomes more of a relative concept by the hour for me, but when I say home this time I mean Seattle. It's not the place where I was born and it's not where I live now, but it's where I grew up and because of that it will always be home to me. Here are ten things I can't wait to do in the U.S. of A.:

1) See my parents, my brother and all my old friends. It's been a year, and a year is far too long for this Glasgow girl.
2) Eat some quality Mexican food. Sorry, Scotland, but you're just too far from the true source to hit the nail on the head.
3) Walk on all three beaches in Edmonds with my three best friends in Edmonds.
4) Buy a cup of coffee in a restaurant and HAVE MY MUG REFILLED FREE OF CHARGE. Ditto for soft drinks. There's no such thing as a "free refill" here. I owe my Bachelor's Degree to bottomless coffee! It should be celebrated!
5) Watch Jeopardy! every weeknight. Man, I miss that show so much.
6) Enjoy the ever-so-slightly warmer weather in Seattle. And the much warmer weather in Arizona and New Mexico.
7) Take advantage of the lower prices on consumer goods and buy the following: a nice pair of shoes, lots of fabric and yarn (don't tell my husband) and possibly a netbook to take with me on tours.
8) Drive around late at night with the radio blasting and no particular destination in mind. I don't miss many things about being single, but I do miss that!
9) Sew with my mom. She promised to help me with the neck facing of a cute top I'm making, so I'll bring my unfinished top for a mother-daughter tutorial. I can't wait.
10) Just be a local yokel and enjoy the everyday Seattle things I used to do (minus the work, of course).

A refreshing getaway

2010-02-08T23:02:00.001+00:00

I'm deep into my low season now - it's been months since I've had a work trip and a while yet until I get to lead another tour. These are the days when I start to get itchy feet. To cure my wanderlust, I went to Ireland last week. Ryanair had a fabulous sale in January and I was able to get a round trip ticket to Dublin for a song...okay, more like a couple of albums, but you get my drift. I had never been to Ireland before this trip, and the fact that I'd been living just across the water from the Emerald Isle for a year and-a-half without making a visit was really starting to bother me. I just had to go!

I had such a lovely time. I stayed at a hostel that I wouldn't recommend for luxury or funkiness (good or bad funkiness, really), but it served its purpose well. And it was super cheap - a big plus for a tour manager stepmom in the depths of her low season. The hostel is called Paddy's Palace, if anyone's interested. It was safe, pretty clean and within easy walking distance of the touristy part of the city center. I'd definitely stay there again on my next solo visit to Dublin.

Most of my time in Dublin I spent on my feet - walking around, enjoying the city, people watching and exploring yarn and fabric stores. Ryanair has the strictest baggage allowances, so I just bought one light fabric remnant and called it good. I was able to get out of town on one day, taking a tour through the Wicklow Mountains to the medieval capital of Kilkenny. It's weird to be on guided tours because I feel like I'm at work. I don't make a habit of booking bus tours, but sometimes it's a good way to keep my own skills sharp. Here are some pictures:

Cemetery at Glendalough

Customs House by night

On the front steps of Kilkenny Castle

I adore my family and I must state for the record that my husband is a wonderful travel partner, but I also love to get out on my own every once in a while and have a little adventure just for myself. The very best part of this whole trip was coming back home a refreshed and de-stressed wife and stepmom. My fun-o-meter shot way back up to unprecedented levels after my return. I'll do my best to keep my sunny new attitude even after this Irish glow wears off. The fact that the days get lighter and lighter all the time certainly doesn't hurt. And they tell me it will eventually get warmer around here, too. I can't wait.

Are there any other solo travelers out there? It's not for everyone, but it can be tremendously rewarding.

Broccoli and white cheddar soup

2010-01-04T16:00:00.000+00:00

Happy New Year, everybody! I hope you all had pleasant celebrations and are starting 2010 off right. I started this year much better than I ended the last one, but we'll get to that later. For now, let's have a bowl of the best broccoli and white cheddar soup you've ever made.

This is my own take on a recipe I found at the grocery store. It cooks up very easily and is perfect midday eating on a chilly day, especially when paired with a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Here is the list of ingredients. Metric equivalents are given in parentheses.

New Year's Broccoli and Cheddar Soup
1 tablespoon (15ml) olive oil
1 tablespoon (15ml) butter
1 medium onion, chopped
1 large head (600g) of broccoli
3 cups (750ml) vegetable stock
1 medium potato, peeled and thinly sliced
1/2 cup (100g) creme fraiche or sour cream, whichever is available, plus a bit more for serving
1 cup (150g) mature white cheddar, grated

Ready to cook? Here we go...

Chop, chop!

First things first, cut up all your veg so you can have it ready as soon as you need it. Next, prepare the broth. If you're using pre-made broth, all you have to do is open up the can or box. But if you're using bouillon cubes, boil up your water and mash in 1.5 Knorr cubes (or amount as designated on package) until it's all dissolved. Whatever you're using, have it ready to go so when the time comes, you can just pour it in to the pot.

The beginning of a fabulous soup

For this soup (and all stick-blended soups, if you ask me), you should use a large, deep stock pot - the bigger, the better. Your soup itself won't need that much room, but there's a lot of splashing and flinging of soupy bits when you begin to mix it up with the stick blender. This is when the high, protective walls of a big stock pot come in very handy.

Back to the ingredients. Heat up the big pot (low to medium) and add the oil and butter. When the butter is melted, throw in your onions and let them sizzle for about five minutes until they look nice and soft.

A big pile o' veg

Once the onions have achieved niceness and softness, add the broccoli, potato and pour the stock over everything. Leaving the heat at the same level, put a lid on the pot and let it all simmer for about 15 minutes. By this time, the broccoli should be quite tender. If you can easily stab into the stalk with a fork, it's tender enough. If not, give it five more minutes and another stabbing.

And now for the really fun part: turn the burner off, dip your stick blender into that stock pot and whizzzzzz your mixture until all the big bits have succumbed to the green soupiness. It should be an even consistency when you're finished blending. Yes, it looks great, but you're not done yet! Turn the burner back on to medium low, add the sour cream (or creme fraiche) and bring the soup to a simmer. When that happens, remove your pot from the heat, stir in the cheese and add a bit of extra sour cream or creme fraiche when serving. Voila!

Soup-erb!

This recipe makes about six hearty bowls of soup. I often double it up just so we can have seconds the next day. It reheats very well. I should also mention that it tastes really good with low-fat cheese and sour cream, if you've made THAT kind of New Year's resolution.

Now, back to why my 2009 didn't go as well as it could have. In short, it's because I spent too much of the year being a homesick killjoy and I often lacked patience with myself in this still-active process of settling into my new home and my new life as a wife and stepmother. My resolution for 2010 may sound completely trite to you, but I'm doing it anyway and it's going to be great; I'm keeping a diary of happy thoughts. I decided to do this because my stepsons gave me a very sweet week-at-a-glance journal for 2010 with a picture of a kitten on the cover. Since I had already purchased a boring maroon day planner for my deadlines and dental appointments, I've decided to put the kitten journal to good use by using it to remind me of the happy and uplifting things in life, of which there are SO MANY. So I'll be writing in that every day without fail (4 days strong now!) and maybe I'll share the occasional entry here.

All the best to you. I'll be back for an update when I'm able.

Resurfacing...again

2009-12-13T11:15:00.000+00:00

Oh, look what happened - I stopped blogging again. I'm here now, but my life has been so busy, I'm not going to promise any regular appearance anymore. I might just rear my head every once in a while and offer a recipe or just say hi. In addition to all the other things that keep me busy and sometimes stressed out, I'm starting my own business. I know that some of you who read this are in business for yourself and I just have one thing to ask you: HOW ON EARTH DO YOU MANAGE?! The amount of work that goes into starting your own business (or at least the amount of work/research/money/sweat I've put into mine so far) is staggering. I won't say much about it now because there are many details not yet finalized, but this is a business venture that will allow me to combine and share two of my biggest passions. More on this later.

All is well on the family front. The boys are practicing their lines for their Christmas plays and they're both doing a marvelous job. I won't be going back to Seattle for any holiday celebrations and I'm trying not to get too down about that. The reason I'm putting off a visit is that there's a bigger trip in the works for March; I'm flying out to Seattle for ten days on my own, then I'm meeting my husband in Phoenix for the wedding of a family friend and the two of us are going to have a little southwestern honeymoon because we never had a proper one after we got married. We'll have five days to get from Phoenix to Albuquerque and then we fly back to Glasgow from there. I am beyond excited! Since I moved away, my plan has been to pick up one unvisited U.S. state per trip back home. I've been to Arizona before, but New Mexico is indeed new to me, so I'm very excited to have a road trip wth my husband *and* to get my one state checked off the list.

If I don't manage to get back online for a while, I want to wish you all happy holidays. All the best to you and your families for a safe and beautiful season!

End of Tour 1

2009-10-06T21:06:00.000+01:00

Time to myself on tours is always scarce, but I have practically none in Iran. Because of the strained political relations between the U.S. and Iran and the fact that we don't have an embassy in Tehran anymore, American tourists are subject to tougher rules than other nationalities. So what I'm saying is that I'm with the group ALL THE TIME, for every meal and all throughout the day until we part ways after dinner. That hasn't left me much time to update.

I'm now back in Tehran after nearly three weeks of traveling all over Iran with the group. The tour went well, but it hasn't been without its problems - no tour ever is. I can't really go into details, but I will say this; sometimes I wish I could run my tours like a traveling version of "Survivor," where the group votes one person off the tour each day. Whoever's left at the end gets deluxe rooms and a privately guided tour for the remainder of the itinerary, plus some fabulous prizes. But enough about that.

Tonight we had our farewell dinner and said some kind parting words. Now we all go our separate ways. Most of my travelers will go back to the States, but I will be in Azerbaijan tomorrow with two of my group members from the Iran tour and three other Americans I haven't met yet. I must say I'm really looking forward to having my first glass of wine after such a long dry spell. Iran is under strict Muslim clerical rule and we can't drink here! Azerbaijan is also a Muslim country, but thanks to decades of godless Soviet rule, the Azeris are known to imbibe.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is being able to dress more freely. As a woman in Iran, I am required by law to follow the Islamic dress code. I must wear a headscarf and a loose fitting outer garment to hide my shape. Only my hands and face may be exposed when I am in public, so you can imagine what a weird tan I'm developing. The whole ensemble is called "hijab" and though I don't mind it so much while I'm working, taking off my scarf after I close the hotel room door behind me is such a relief. I have a hilarious picture of me in full hijab wading in a river a few days ago. I'll share it when I get back home.

Now I'm off to get some sleep before starting Tour 2 tomorrow. I'll be so ready to get back home to my family by the time it's over.

On Tehran time

2009-09-19T16:33:00.001+01:00

Hello, blog buddies. You're in luck! Facebook is now blocked by the Iranian government, so since I can't while my internet time away over there, I'm going to come here and make an update. Much to my dismay, YouTube and Flickr are also blocked. Once the tour starts in earnest tomorrow, I won't have much time for internet anyway. Keeping track of a dozen retirees on vacation doesn't leave me with much energy at the end of the day.

I arrived at the crack of dawn and immediately set to catching up on all the sleep I missed out on while I was up packing my suitcase until 3:00am on departure day. There's not much to say just now. I slept most of the day and then went out for a walk. Now I'm tired again - thank you, jetlag. Oh, there's a talking bird here in the lobby lounge. He squaks "SALAAM!" at regular intervals to folks passing by. I'll try and get a video, but of course I'll have to wait to upload it because of the whole lack of YouTube thing.

My copy of "The Package Deal" didn't arrive before I left. I was really hoping it would, because it's so nice to have a good book to read a bit of each night before bed. I brought "The Life of Pi" instead and I'm not enjoying it as much as I feel like I should. It's for book club when I get back to Glasgow, so I'll carry on reading it, even though I'm finding it quite directionless and just generally blah. At least I know "The Package Deal" will be waiting for me when I get back. That's one more thing to look forward to!

Some of you have asked about pictures. I was going to give you a direct link, but I can't get into Flickr to pull up the set. So here are the long form instructions on how to see my Iran pictures from last April: go to http://www.flickr.com/ and search for "devinshire" - that's me, and then click "view sets." Iran is in there, as well as pictures from the other places I've been.

I might not be back on the blog for a few days, but I just wanted to pop in and say I'm here and safe. Take care, everyone.

Leaving on a jet plane

2009-09-17T21:45:00.002+01:00

Hi everyone,

We just put the guys to bed and I'm now taking deep breaths and collecting my thoughts. I know I promised you all some broccoli and cheddar soup, but I've been massively busy these days and I can't deliver on that just yet. Tomorrow I leave for a five-week work trip: three weeks in Iran, and two weeks traveling over Azerbaijan, Georgia and Armenia. In my other life when I'm not stepmothering, I'm a tour manager, which means that I go on holiday with groups of American tourists and make sure that everything goes smoothly for them throughout their trip. It's a great job, but it's also hugely stressful, because I basically get to do all the worrying for a large group of people while traveling across sometimes unstable parts of the world. I won't be updating my blog while I'm away, but I'll report back when I come home in late October.

Looking forward to seeing you all on my return,

Suddenly Stepmom

P.S. Aw, I must have subconsciously picked the title of this post as a little tribute to Mary Travers of Peter, Paul and Mary, who passed away yesterday. Rest in peace, Mary.

Life's hard, you know (oh way oh) so strike a pose on a Cadillac...

2009-09-09T10:20:00.000+01:00

...or in our case, a Renault Clio, because that's the car we bought to replace our stolen Fiat, which was recovered, but deemed not worth repairing because of extensive electrical damage done to the car during the break-in. What a week it's been for us! Ugh, what a YEAR! They say the first year of marriage is the hardest and for us that's definitely been true so far, but only because of all the steaming piles of poo (figurative poo, thankfully) that have been thrown our way. Starting out our life together in the middle of a deep recession has been a character-building exercise in adversity, if nothing else. Our first anniversary is in less than three months. We're both hoping for fewer bumps in the road ahead.

I'll have a post about a good cheesy broccoli soup in the next day or two. I just wanted to pop in and say hello in the meantime.

Not-so-grand theft auto

2009-09-02T22:30:00.000+01:00

Our car was stolen today in the early hours of the morning. We learned about it by way of a 1:45am visit from the police. I won't go into any protracted details because that's not what I came here to post about, but I will say the following:
1) the car has been recovered and is safe and sound in a garage across town, but it's not driveable because of damage to the ignition during the attempted hotwire.
2) I've been tired and cranky all day because of the worry and interrupted sleep.

Earlier this evening, my elder stepson was working on the computer and asking for my help on saving and linking to images. I think my answers were a bit hurried and distracted because he asked me, "are you tired?" He didn't ask it in a mean way or a sarcastic way - just in a genuinely curious 10-year-old way. Still, the question bothered me because I don't like being tired. I remember what "tired" meant when I was 10. When I heard that a grown-up was tired, that meant they were to be left alone. It translated directly to "no fun." But without thinking, I told my stepson that I was quite tired and worried about how we were going to deal with the car situation.

I hope I haven't become the boring, serious grownup with the crease in my brow I always said I wouldn't turn into, but it's so hard not to worry about money in a country as crazy expensive as this one. And nobody likes to be the victim of crime. So for the time being, I'm walking around with a creased brow.

At the end of the rainbow

2009-08-31T15:46:00.003+01:00

Thanks for your lovely comments about my last food post. Those take a while to put together, so it's nice to hear they're being read and appreciated. I'm going to aim for about one of those per week to keep the flow of recipes and culinary encouragement going.

My family and I went on a camping holiday in the Peak District over the weekend. We camped in Buxton, which is in Derbyshire (pronounced Darbyshire - silly me, I spent months thinking Derbyshire and Darbyshire were two different places!), about halfway between Manchester and Sheffield. This was our first camping holiday as a family and we all rated it a big success. I would have loved to spend one more night away, but that's the only thing I'd change for next time. Here are a few pictures from the weekend:

Double rainbow

When we saw the double rainbow out the car window as we headed toward the campsite, we knew we were in for a good trip. The weather was mostly good, but the nights were quite chilly. You can't have it all!

All aboard the miniature railway!

On Saturday, we went to a large Victorian park in Buxton and met up with a family I know from elsewhere on the internet. There were eight of us together - four adults and four kids - and we had a great time. The park had so much going for it: well-tended grounds, an indoor swimming pool, several duck ponds, two play areas and, best of all, a miniature railway! My husband and I just had to accompany the kids on their train journey (you know...to make sure they behaved). What fun! I wish we had a miniature railway in our local park.

Super campsite

For the most part, we were very pleased with our campsite. We had to move on the second night because a drunken party atmosphere had set in while we were at the park. Moving was a bit of a hassle, but our effort was richly rewarded by a much quieter corner of the campsite.

The Three Stooges

Another perk of our new location was a visit from some friendly fowl. This trio came right up to the door of our tent and posed for this photo.

Stalac-tastic

What family camping trip is complete without a visit to some spectacular caverns? Certainly not ours. On the way out of town, we stopped at Poole's Cavern and took a tour of the caves there. I love caves! I might even love them more than I love miniature trains. Following a super cave tour, we had a picnic lunch before getting back in the car for the big drive up north. On the way back home, we stopped at Old Trafford, the stadium of Manchester United, so a certain eight-year-old stepson of mine could see it with his own eyes. He was asleep as we approached the stadium, so it must have felt literally dreamlike for him to finally be seeing a place so iconic to him. What a great trip all around!

When we got back home, I sadly discovered that "Reading Rainbow" has been taken off the air after 26 years. I'm not sure about any of you, but I grew up watching "Reading Rainbow" in the '80s and I used to dream of being on the show one day and talking about my favorite books. One of the PBS guys in the article said that the beauty of "Reading Rainbow" is not that it taught kids how to read, but why to read and and how to truly enjoy reading. That's exactly what I took away from the show. So goodbye, "Reading Rainbow." Here's the opening sequence. Watch it with me for a bit of nostalgia:

One good piece of bookish news I received on returning home is that I won La Belle Mere's book giveaway! As the winner, I'll receive a copy of Izzy Rose's book, "The Package Deal: My (not so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom." I am so excited to read this book because it seems like it's closer to my actual story than any of the other stepmom books I've seen out there. Watch this quick video to see what I mean:

What a long post! There certainly was a lot to catch up on. I hope you all had a good weekend and that you're enjoying better weather than we are right now. That's all for now!

Thursday night dinner

2009-08-28T00:58:00.016+01:00

The bacon, pea and basil macaroni turned out to be a quality family meal, but with a few lessons learned. Of course I have a report. We've moved since the last time I posted cooking pictures, so the kitchen are a bit different (welcome to our new flat!). Here's how it all went down tonight:

Chop, chop!

I did all the chopping first so I could just grab ingredients as needed. Do you like my internet-fabulous tea towel trick here? It hides the countertops so well! Clockwise from the top in this picture we have six bacon rashers that I snipped with kitchen scissors, two leeks, shredded cheddar cheese, frozen peas and fresh basil (though using dried is totally not the end of the world).

It's starting to sizzle

After chopping everything up, the first step in cooking the dish is to put the bacon and leeks in the hot frying pan with a tablespoon of vegetable oil and let them cook for ten minutes or until the bacon is golden - I cooked the bacon on a low temperature until it just started to take on a golden hue. Next time I make this dish, I probably won't put the leeks in with the bacon right away. They wasted away as the bacon cooked and you could barely tell they were ever there by the end. Next time I'll put them in about 3-4 minutes before the bacon is finished cooking so they have some chance of staying partially intact. I'll also use a bigger pot altogether, because it got a bit crowded at the end. Every meal is a learning experience!

A two-burner meal

I added the peas and let them cook through and my water has still barely come to a boil. Another tip for the future: start the macaroni earlier! To avoid burning the bacon, leek and pea mixture, I had to turn that burner off while the pasta cooked.

Oven-ready!

Finally, the macaroni cooked all the way through. I stirred it all up in the frying pan with some of the cooking water, half of the shredded cheddar and a small tray of soft cheese (this is cream cheese - please refer to my brief "Americanization" at the end of this post if you're in the States and want to cook this without going crazy or doing all the converstions yourself). Once all the ingredients were well worked in, I sprinkled the other half of the cheddar cheese on the dish and put it in to grill. Our grill (broiler) takes a bit longer than others I've seen, so I decided to serve up the soup while our pasta dish developed a nice, slighly crusty top.

For starters...

This is the carrot and parsnip soup that I posted about two days ago. Doesn't it have a lovely color? And it's so smooth! This soup is easy to make, packed with nutrients and a big hit with the family. That's what I call a keeper. I served up this soup with a bit of my signature "everyday garlic bread," which is wheat toast with a thin spread of butter and a tiny bit of garlic salt sprinkled on top. You can use white toast, if you prefer, but wheat is better for you and I'm sure you already know that. Okay, I'm done preaching. So we ate up the soup while the pasta baked away and when we were done...

A super cheesy pasta bake

The pasta finished baking! What a super dish. It went down very well with the stepdudes and it wasn't hard to make at all. I'll be doing this one again in the next few weeks, that's for sure. However, I'll ditch the frying pan next time. Bacon cooks up just as well in a bigger pot and it would make it so much easier to stir everything up if I had a bit of elbow room to work with.

One word of advice: if you plan on cooking this recipe for your family and you're thinking of skipping the mustard so your mustard-hating kids will like it better, don't! Both of my stepsons are big-time mustard-haters and they gobbled this dish up like crazy, despite the fact that I put a huge dollop of yellow mustard in the dish before grilling it. I strongly suggest keeping the mustard...just make sure your youngsters don't see the jar on the kitchen counter!

I hope you enjoy making this dish. For any of you U.S. readers who want to try this, here is an recap of the ingredients list with any relevant "Americanizations" in bold:

6 rashers streaky bacon , chopped (8-10oz. regular bacon)
2 leeks , finely sliced into rings
1 tbsp vegetable oil
140g frozen peas (3/4 cup)
400g macaroni (3 cups uncooked macaroni)
200g pack soft cheese (8oz. tub of regular or low-fat cream cheese)
85g mature cheddar , grated (3/4 cup)
1 tbsp English mustard
small bunch basil , shredded (1 tsp. dried basil is fine, too)

And for the reserve water you draw from your pan of macaroni to add to the casserole dish, 150ml = 3/4 cup. Enjoy your meal!

Why I love blended soups

2009-08-26T16:18:00.000+01:00

Last night at the store, I spotted parsnips on sale for next to nothing. Being American, I've never cooked with parsnips before in my life, but this deal was really too good to pass up. So I bought several parsnips and decided to comb the internet for recipes as soon as I got home. After just a few clicks, I found this very simple recipe for a blended carrot and parsnip soup. With so few ingredients, how could it possibly go wrong? It couldn't. The soup was positively delicious. After simmering all the ingredients together for half an hour, I whizzed it up with our stick blender (Do you all have a stick blender? You totally should.) and it turned a wonderful light orange color and took on a smooth, thick texture. The best part about it is that there's plenty more to store in the refrigerator for later.

I love keeping soup in the fridge. Knowing that a hearty blended soup is there, especially during the colder months (and they're just around the corner), makes menu planning so much easier. It also adds a touch of handmade goodness to a meal that might not be as wholesome on its own. For example, my husband and I had burgers and fries last night for dinner - not part of our normal meal plan, it must be said, but my culinary creativeness is a bit low at the moment. It happens to the best of us from time to time. But I digress. With our sinful burgers and fries, we had this fabulous, nutrient-packed soup which really rounded out the meal. We're certainly not going to do this every night, but it is a nice option for those hurried dinners we all have sometimes.

So my dinner plan for the guys tomorrow is to have the carrot and parsnip soup (probably the last of it by that point) with a first-time recipe, bacon, pea and basil macaroni. I hope this goes well. We grow basil on the windowsill and the guys are good about eating peas, but that's a lot of stuff in one dish. In my experience, the more ingredients that go into a dish, the less likely youngsters are to enjoy it. Am I playing with fire here? We'll find out tomorrow night. I'll take some pictures and give a report for those of you who are interested. I'd be so happy if this goes down well because one-dish meals are great to have in the recipe file.

My blog is fabulous!

2009-08-25T16:46:00.000+01:00

And I have the badge to prove it! Thank you, Dad's Second Whatever, for the lovely award. I'm meant to list five obsessions and five blogs I enjoy, but can I do three and three? I'm still getting my bearings in this little corner of the blogosphere.

My obsessions:
1. My family. Moving halfway across the world and settling into my new role as a wife and stepmother in a new country hasn't exactly been a cakewalk, but my family back in the States and here in Scotland have been so supportive of me as I make this transition. Extra points must be awarded to my husband, who routinely goes above and beyond in his supportiveness and wonderfulness (that's now officially a word). I'm so lucky to have found him.

2. Learning new skills. I am truly obsessed with picking up new skills. Languages are a big love of mine (I speak Russian, am currently brushing up on my once-fabulous Spanish skills and trying to learn some conversational French) and so are music (I'm okay at guitar, flute and piano, building up my banjo skills) and cooking (I just love it!). The only problem is, it's hard to get really good at any one thing when I keep getting distracted by new skills to learn! Could I have adult ADD? Don't answer that.

3. Travel. I'm lucky that I get to travel for work, because I love just about every part of it: being in airports, staying in hotels, and learning firsthand about other cultures. I could do without the jetlag, but every occupation has its downfalls. My only wish is that I had more time/money for personal travel with my family. There are all kinds of places we'd love to explore together. Someday!

Blogs I enjoy:
1. Dad's Second Whatever, and not just because she gave me a lovely award. I'm still in my first year of stepmotherhood and still trying to figure everything out. She's been at it for a while longer and are quite an inspiration to me in that respect.

2. Family in Bloom. I just found her about an hour ago, but I like what I've read so far. I look forward to reading more!

3. La Belle Mere. She's British (I'm not, but I'm here on this island, too!) and we're friends on Stepchicks. I admire her energy.