Sudipta's Life

Do I really need that gadget

2011-12-19T12:04:00.000-08:00

The US economy thrives on a singular concept: Consumerism. The concept of spending money I don't have for things that I don't really need but still want to possess. It is contagious, addictive, and . This also creates a huge market for second-hand goods. Together, these two drive the market - more cash flowing through the system, more wealth being created, more debts (a revolving credit card debt of $10,000 is pretty common it seems) - and eventually, more goods being consumed. Therefore, if your TV or the sofa comes with a 5 year warranty, most people are happy with it. They will sell it or discard it and get a new one at the end of five years anyway. So far so good.

In India, however, I grew up with the concept of buying things for the long term in practice around me everywhere. Or as Westerners are learning the concept so recently, we believe a lot in Jugaad technology - making do with limited resources to achieve equal ends. When I was in school, one of my friends showed me how the refill of a ball-point pen could itself be refilled with a little turpentine oil and a drop of ink, and there was a person who would do that for you for a rupee. Consider the numbers here again - a Reynolds pen that used to cost Rs. 10, would be refilled with another thin cartridge for Rs. 5 (branded Reynolds, the local equivalent was available for Rs. 3.50), and the cartridge in turn could be refilled for a rupee. In effect, the pen would last about as long as you did not chew off the other end (that too had its fixes) or the ball did not actually fall off the nib of the pen or start leaking too much. (I am proud to tell you that I fixed a couple of those as well - you need strong teeth to do that).

Today, however, when I go to a conference or an expo today, I can collect about twenty to thirty pens just like that - and I tend to throw away a used pen after it is empty. And I rarely use it except to sign or take notes in meetings sometimes. When I look back at the time I used to do so much to make a worn out pen last that long, I sometimes feel guilty that I don't pass them along to those who need them more.

Which brings us to the title of the post. Like any self-respecting true geek in the Silicon Valley, my first reaction when I see the latest new gadget in someone's hands is "wow". It isn't just peer pressure or a fad. The amount of new features and processing power that come bundled with those sleek and tiny phones or behind the 8 inch screen tablet are just plain mind-boggling. Five years back one would have paid an arm and a leg to buy the kind of processing power in a full size desktop PC that comes bundled in a smart phone for free with a contract these days. And people are willing to pay north of two thousand dollars to buy the latest Macbook Pro where their primary job would be to browse the internet and prepare MS Word documents. The question is - do I really need it?

The first PC I bought had the latest specs at that time - and I mostly ended up playing computer games on it. I did some bit of programming, but not much. Truth be told, my programming needs would have been solved with a machine with half the processing power and definitely a quarter of the cost. Of course I learned quite a lot while troubleshooting it, but it wasn't perhaps worth spending my parents' money over that entirely. The current laptop I possess is the third computer that I ever bought (I've had it since 2007). My office refreshes my laptop every one and a half to two years My latest computer was bought in the spur of the moment when I still had another perfectly fine laptop. Today, however, when I go to others' homes and see a stack of laptops strewn around, or when I try out someone else's slick new laptop with triple the processing power as my own, the urge to get myself a new one grows big. And during Thanksgiving or the holiday season, the sales and the ground-breaking "deals" on laptops seem to make the night-out outside of Best Buy absolutely worth it.

But then again, the question arises, do I really need those? My laptop serves my purposes very well - of programming, downloading stuff and web surfing (not necessarily in that order of priority). Could I use another laptop? The tempting answer of "Yeah, sure!" actually raises the big question mark - and the true answer becomes no. Why? Because the current laptop will fall into disuse then. The purchase of my current laptop from five years ago would become a bad investment - I wouldn't get the right value out of it for all the student-time hard earned chunk of money which I spent at that time. Well, what if it lasts for another 10 years? Would I pass on the sleek light and blazing fast machines of then just to hold on to an "investment"? Here is my favourite part of any answer - "It depends". It depends on whether the laptop still serves my purpose. Can I still use it if I have to travel and lug it around? Can it run my programs and tasks then? Would it be able to handle the network speeds then? If yes, then no I still don't need a new laptop. If no - woohoo!! Off we go to the gadget shop! :)

What is your Puja Bhakti Scorecard?

2011-10-19T15:24:00.000-07:00

Since the Durga Puja got over about a month back, it is time to reflect back on the good five days that went by, and calculate how many Bhakti points you have collected. These are redeemable for Punya credit, of course, when you reach heaven. Also, by attending the Durga Puja, you have already guaranteed yourself a spot in heaven - so don't worry about the Bhakti points expiring or something like that.

First up, your knowledge of the Devi Stotra: "Sarva Mangala Mangalye...". See, it isn't just enough that you should know the verse by heart. Others also need to know that you know, especially the priest who is leading the chant. So if you can go ahead of others while they are mimicking whatever way the Purohit chants, especially by creating a generous high-pitched noise when others are trying to hear what the Purohit says, you get one Bhakti point each time. Oh, by the way, grant yourself a bonus point if you were able to (very audibly) "Tsch-tsch" when someone mis-pronounced some word. Those illiterate desis, I tell you!

Second, were you able to grab enough flowers during the Pushpanjali? Let everyone else fend for themselves. You know that this one is the jackpot... each petal of flower counts as one whole Bhakti point! So I am hoping that you grabbed enough flowers when the basket passed by for three rounds of offering. Your disappointment is understandable when you realized that it was just one round of flower offering... it was like finishing an XBox game of WWII with more than 2/3^rds of your ammo left! Oh, and definitely award yourself bonus points if you brought your own flowers and gently pointed towards the common basket when someone asked for a little share from your pot! Those freeloaders, I tell you!

Next, (and very important), how much gold were you wearing? Each carat equals one point, and if they weren't visible then sorry, they don't count. You must have made sure that the most silky gorgeous saree decorated your ~~flabby~~ fine body while you pushed your way through the crowds. Ahh the maddening joy of the cacophony of scents - overdoses of perfume and stinking sweat pouring as you jostled past the idle aunties and oldies! Bonus points in this round can be earned if you were able to go up on the altar and hang on for that extra second while the whole mandap full of people stared at you. The poor you had to make up your own personal fashion ramp! Those penurious organizers, I tell you!

Fourth, did you get enough time with the aarti lamps? Here's how you earn points in this round: you have to execute a perfect scowl when others hog the lamp and take their own sweet time in swinging the lamp in front of the Devi. Make sure your body language along with the subtle shoving and pushing disturbs that lady who is doing the aarti at any given time. And when your turn comes, remember to face the five deities in front of you five times each and execute a perfect circle. One full swing = one point. Bonus points are easy to make... just return an evil scowl to those standing in line behind you just after you are done with your own Puja. Those impatient slobs, I tell you!

Finally, how active was your hubby during the whole process? This matters the most. The bigger the lens of his DSLR camera, the better. Different angles, once while you are holding the lamp in your hand, once without - he must have captured each moment and even asked you stop and pose for a second. If you had a hubby who did not stand in front of at least two other cameras and stared down two organizers in his right to enter forbidden space to click your pics - you have a nobody on your hands. Definitely, definitely triple check all the photos right after each shoot on the spot, and re-take anything that makes you look fat. Admittedly, your hubby has to earn his right to the prasad. Bonus points? Oh that should be self-evident! Get someone else's hubby to take a picture of you two juxtaposed with the deity while his wife looks on flabbergasted. Oh the joy of a picture perfect Puja album on Facebook, I tell you!

:)

The help

2011-09-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

Growing up in India, all of us have become accustomed to having someone like a maid or a nurse/caretaker as part of our everyday life. I have had my own share of experiences as well - some of them definitely worth writing about some other day. Right from learning about social faux pas and the political correctness of terms, to being in their position and seeing what it feels like to be treated as one. From almost motherly figures to the stereotypical villains - tales will be told as the time comes. For now, though, I wish to tell you about one particular incident.

As with most housemaids, it takes a while to build trust and rapport and to not notice a little "shortage" of stuff around the house. From the time she joined our household, we never noticed anything significantly missing. I use the word "significantly" here because we suspected there might be some amount of human error in calculations on our part - the tin of rice which used to last 20 days maybe was sustaining us now for 18 days: nothing to bother about. As per our household rules, we would always cook food for her as well in our daily lunch and dinner, and she would dutifully take it home every day to share with her family. My mother used to always save something extra for her, since she knew it was not just her mouth we were feeding every day.

Then after a couple of months, the "shortage of stuff" kept getting significantly higher. There was a hurried tone in the maid's voice and she always seemed to be leaving the house in a hurry at night. We found some spilled turmeric on the shelves some day, or a few missing eggs from the fridge the other. There was only one suspect, and of course she denied all charges when she was confronted by my mother.

One night, when my parents were away, I went to the kitchen to fetch some water to drink, when I walked in on something I didn't intend to. There she was, sitting on the floor with a newspaper spread out and pouring some Bournvita on it. When I walked in, it took her exactly three seconds to undo the pouring, put it back in the container, close the container lid, shove it under the nearest shelf, and fold the newspaper into a wreck and "appear" to be caressing/examining it with great detail. Her face, though, was wrought with fear. I could not confront her then, so we both pretended that nothing had happened. I got my water and went back to my study desk.

I told my mother about this when she came back, and then the next morning my mother had a fresh conversation with her. This time, however, she broke down. It turned out that her husband had lost work recently, and she was the only source of sustenance for the family. And somehow, like most under-educated or illiterate poor families, by family I mean they had 5-6 children (and still going). The Bournvita she was taking that day was the only evening meal/snack she had for her children. I cannot tell you how deeply guilty I felt of being privileged at that time, and how helpless I felt. My mother shared my feeling at that time, and gave her a new container of Bournvita and also said that she can take some spices etc. from our household for a month until her husband finds a job as long as she tells in advance.

But the stealing continued. And after a while I think all of us got tired of this cat and mouse game. As far as I remember, her husband probably found work at some other town and they moved out. I haven't heard of them since.

The reason I brought up this post is because I cannot forget the face I saw that day in the kitchen. It was the desperate act of a poor mother trying to provide for her children by all means possible.And it was the face of shame written all over her at the same time, knowing that I had seen it all. I still do drink Bournvita at times (or just chew it down raw), but sometimes when I am buying it at the store or mixing it in my milk, sitting here in the US, I tend to remember that face in the kitchen from 15 years ago.

Do's and don'ts when riding in her car

2011-09-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

My wife and I recently had the "privilege" of riding with an acquaintance in her car. While I am happy to report that the two of us survived the ride, I thought it would be prudent to let everyone else know that such a driver is out on the roads. Also, it is important to have these tips handy so that you don't die of heart attack while you are riding inside the car with her. So, brace yourself (and you must do this literally too) and read on...

You might be proud of yourself that you have driven cars in India and you can deal with any kind of traffic - nothing scares you. But my dear tough guy, trust me when I say that you will desperately hang on to that seatbelt of yours. See, in India, you try to save yourself and maneuver around "stuff". In this case, you belong to the stuff. And what scares you is that the rest of the people on the road haven't driven a car in India.

First things first: she will put on her seatbelt, eventually, but after about 5 mins of getting on the freeway. However, within about 30 seconds of her starting the car, you would hastily double check your own seatbelt. The reason: she got honked at twice when she was backing up her car from the parking spot. The calmness with which she zooms back without checking her rearview mirror or glancing back would convince you that she has taken some Art of Living courses, and taken them all too seriously.

Next, you need to learn from her the fine art of drifting across traffic lanes. Similar to the motivational proverb which says "Real men don't use recipes", she can be a champion of the proverb "Real women don't use indicators". Or, for that matter, "Real drivers don't need traffic lanes". So, when she is driving, don't volunteer on her behalf to look out the window at the poor soul in the next lane who had to scurry out of the way. Do keep yourself leaned against the seat at all times. Because you never know when either she would glance at the mirror and save all your lives, or the air bags would pop out and your rib cage would be saved.

A few final words (besides "May your soul rest in peace") for you. Don't flinch when she takes the exit at the last minute and almost hits the yellow splitters full of water cans and old tires. The important thing is she almost missed them (remember the Art of Living calm on her face, and follow the lead). Don't fret when she ignores stop signs or rolls through a red light right in front of incoming traffic - the important thing is that you are still alive. Concentrate on the little joys of life, laugh at the great anecdotes she tells you while staring at you straight for 1 minute without looking at the road, and watch how she deftly fumbles through the CD changer while the steering wheel is used as a handrest. You will definitely find yourself hanging on to the seatbelt at the end of the ride. I told you so, right?

Remotely troubleshooting your parents machine

2011-09-07T15:32:00.000-07:00

If you are helping your parents, relatives or grandparents at home with any kind of pc/laptop issues (since you are a computer person), here is how it generally goes:

But even then, once in a while, you get a different problem - your parents got a new laptop, and a good internet connection, and now you want to install Skype properly on the laptop so that you can see one another. Here is what I did recently to get this done:

Download TeamViewer on the target laptop: If you have a chat program open, paste this link there and ask them to click on it. http://www.teamviewer.com/download/TeamViewer_Setup_en.exe.

Yup, I know - don't ask them to go and visit the website and download from there: you and they don't share the same screen and it is difficult to locate where the exact content is. In my case, my screen size was bigger than theirs and we spent some time figuring out why they couldn't see the "Download" button, until I figured out that the page needed to be scrolled further. If the folks at @teamviewer are listening - please see if you can make the download button in the first screen itself.

Make sure you save it on the Desktop - we will come to the cleanups later on.
Download TeamViewer on your own laptop: yes, even if you have it installed, please uninstall and get the installer yourself.
Install together: Go through the installation wizard together - meaning install the software on your laptop as well as their laptop simultaneously, asking them to click on the exact same buttons which you do. Basically, at this point of time although you don't see their screen, you know exactly what they are looking at. Mark it as personal/non-commercial use, and no need to register right now.
Open the other screen: If all goes well, the folks on the other side should get a computer id and password and share those with you. Once you have those, login into the remote machine and knock yourself out with all the cleanups, Skype install, etc. that you want.
Leave the door open: As with any other thing, there are lots of pros and cons of leaving the backdoor open for yourself to login and troubleshoot remotely. I have left the TeamViewer running as a service that starts with the computer, for all future debugging and troubleshooting help.

To the folks who built this software - God bless you all for simplifying the process so much, and making non-commercial usage free!

30 days later

2011-09-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

So I picked up the task of blogging for 30 days straight. As you might know, I have tried to follow the letter of the law: I have posted some regular write-ups during the course of this time. I have put in some placefillers as videos, and even put in some "nothing" posts just to make a post for the day. I have also slipped in my schedule during the end of this stretch - even back-dated posts and videos were not posted. Overall: blogged 24 times out of the scheduled 30. 11 of these 24 posts were placefillers, and 13 were regular posts. I do plan on adding 6 other videos or songs on to the list to make up for the lost days.

What good has come of this, you may ask. Well, if nothing else - it has broken off my writers block! I think that was the real intent of this exercise: to get you started on whatever you wish to be doing. And this worked for me! Similar to the Star Trek commander training exercise where the purpose of the test is not to be able to defeat the system but to understand what it feels like to be under pressure, I think the purpose of this exercise was to get into the habit of posting something regularly - which is something I have done. I don't feel guilty posting the rest of the placefillers just to make sure there _IS_ something for 30 days :)

It certainly feels good to be back! :)

What you did not hear me say

2011-09-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

I always wonder about the things left unsaid at social gatherings. The benign condescending smile, the fake laugh, the artificial excitement of meeting your "friend" after a while - I almost feel it is a minefield of social faux pas out there when you walk into a gathering! And the trouble is that I don't get most of it.It almost makes me feel like I want both lemon and cream in my tea.

I have noticed the following three ways where you can definitely be sure you have said the wrong thing or taken the wrong side:

1. When, following your "expression of doubt" at a person's statement, she asks what your problem in life is. :D This question is usually accompanied by a half smile, glancing away from you and seeking others who might join in the smile, taking a dramatic sip of extremely hot tea which in itself leads to a further curled lip while executing the smile. You might want to take a mental note at this time of what a balloon looks like just when you've jussst punctured it.
Remedy: Declare that you have a problem with everyone and everything in life.

2. When, you mention something too "gross" for the present company (who secretly relish hearing the words and also drool over the fact that they can bitch about it later on). The scandalized look on their faces is nothing you should be worried about - you just made them feel awesomely superior and reaffirmed their faith in their own child's innocence. The priceless expressions around you are worth noting for their intrinsic and uncanny similarity with a furious Mayawati.

3. When you wife/girlfriend gives you "the pinch". You know what and when it happens. The priceless expression to note at this time is your own (quick - go find a mirror!), since you know what is coming while you try to desperately figure out what are the million ways in which you just screwed it up for yourself! :D

When stereotypes do make sense

2011-08-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

In spite of the you screaming your lungs out over prejudices of the society and the evils thereof, there is one area where the stereotypes do in fact save lives. Heh heh heh... welcome to the world of medicine.

The first time I learned that doctors routinely test certain "classes" of people for STDs or certain ethnic groups for mental problems, that is saying a lot. Regular, educated and well-earning people who are more predisposed to be adulterous because they are from a particular community? Ha hahaha.... oh yeah but it is true... hmm... so much for kleptomaniacs, etc. :P

Another gem from Half Ticket

2011-08-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Look at how naturally the voice of Pran merge with the playback, as does the on-screen Kishore Kumar's. Incredible talent of Mr. Ganguly - singing both voices. :)

Let loose the child in you

2011-08-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

In particular, look at the guy playing the dholak - I am proud of the casting choice for "झूम झूम कौवा भी ढोलक बजाये" :)

Is someone asking these questions about Libya?

2011-08-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

All around, or at least in the US media, every inch of progress by the rebel forces in Libya is hailed and announced time and over, with a literal celebration breaking out when the capital was run over. We hear from ordinary Libyan citizens expressing that they are finally free to express what they like, reaffirming the value of the "freedom" the NATO troops and the rebels are bringing to the country. The messages from Col. Gaddafi about his wish to fight till martyrdom for his country are portrayed as a mad dictator's rant. Confirmed news of his capture and death will perhaps make this story less interesting, and we move on to the next country.

I am, however, intrigued by a few things. And I am hoping someone who is showering bullets and ammo at the Libyan government forces is also thinking this through. First of all, and this is of my paramount concern, why is the Colonel still sticking up? What is it that he believes in? Armed gunmen running amok through the streets of the country aren't welcome for any leader, even a dictator as him. So if he genuinely believes he is defending his country against someone, maybe we ought to hear him out, and his speeches should be published full text as well sometimes? And what about the forces he commands? Surely every single man in there does not owe a personal allegiance to the leader? What is it that they are defending? Why are they fighting, if they are rational people? Is there a difference in perception and propaganda?

Next, what about the rebels? I heard on NPR that there isn't a leader - everybody is claiming that he is one. Could Libya be headed towards the way of Iraq, with no leader after the so-called "victory" of the rebels? After this event, or even right now, who is ensuring the basic safety of civilians? How do you know that women aren't being raped or shops aren't being looted by the rebels themselves? There isn't a government in command, remember?

The US and other NATO countries are covertly arming these rebels, and helping them with logistical support. Who would be responsible for these sophisticated weaponry after the conflict is over? If there isn't a proper government, are you sure that you aren't creating another Afghanistan after the Cold War? What guarantee do you have that another Osama bin Laden would not be created? Or that these very weapons wouldn't be used in cities like Mumbai and Srinagar to target innocent civilians?

Finally, what after the war? Could there be a civil war, using the weapons we are dropping off there now? How do we know that the state wouldn't get converted into a radical Islamist state with more terrorists coming out to haunt us? And it would be easy to tell them, "Look the rest of the world joined forces in attacking us and made us kill one another". There is a virtual civil war already in progress - Libyan people killing off other Libyan people! What makes this stop?

I know, I know - there are lots of oil refineries in Libya and those are the very reason you are after the country. But please, make sure you know what you are doing before you fire the next gunshot.

Magazine overload

2011-08-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

In general, they say, a problem of plenty is a good problem to have. For example, if you have too many mangoes in your garden, then you could possibly sell some of them off for money or give away some of them for social "points" - even letting them rot isn't going to harm you at all (except the stench and the missed opportunity, perhaps).

The above presents a manageable problem. You have some trees, they grow and produce fruits on their own, and then you simply have to pick some fruits and sell them off, or you can even outsource this. Basically, then, you don't have any capital expenses (you didn't buy the trees), you don't have too much operational expenses (you don't need to water them daily), but you incur some cost while picking the fruit and marketing, which, even after outsourcing, is still a positive source of revenue for you. (My apologies for the business-speak - but these phrases are very succinct and capture the essence of what I wish to convey).

Now, consider a case where you actually pay for the mangoes to get to your home (i.e. buy them). You were able to eat most of them that you bought. At this time, a nearby store has given you some coupons for getting more mangoes, just because you buy other stuff from them often. Here is the bad news - these coupons expire after a certain period of time and they represent a good number of mangoes. You like mangoes, and with these coupons you can get all the different fancy mangoes which you never wanted to pay out of your pocket to eat. What would you do?

Note that the problem here is not that you don't know which mangoes to buy - there are plenty of choices there. The problem is that you can eat only so many mangoes every day or week. Would you still buy the new fancy mangoes and try them out? Or would you give away your coupons to someone else so that they could also get some free mangoes? (Cheap "mango points" come to mind, in exchange, but we shall let that pass for now :P).

I had the exact same problem. Except that in my case mangoes = magazines. (Yeah I know that sentence can be interpreted in so many different ways). I spent some good amount of money in getting a 5-year subscription to The Economist, and then out of more passion and the cheap price-point, subscribed to the Wired magazine. Lo and behold, I get airline frequent flier miles reminders that so many thousands of miles are about to expire and you can easily subscribe to magazines and newspapers using them before they do to use 'em up. So I browsed their offers. And got a couple more "fancy mangoes" which shall remain unnamed ;).

And now I suffer from "magazine overload" - a problem of plenty where I get more magazines than I can possibly read in a week. Ever. Which reminds me - I had subscribed to the Wall Street Journal as well for a couple of years using those miles! Damn those deliverymen - why am I not getting any of those? Hmm... need to pursue this and get fifty more pages to read every day... hey I paid for those!! :)

And this is the cheap mango points offer - if you live nearby and would like to get a few of the mangoes from me (again, no double meanings please, you dirty minds!), get in touch and I can give you both the regular and the fancy mangoes, in exchange of your goodwill :)

Lay down all your cards on the table

2011-08-24T16:13:00.000-07:00

I wish life worked the way I want it to. I wish everyone was transparent, honest, and open about their shortcomings. I wish two people collaborating would work towards a single goal with unified vision and passion, not hankering over who gets what piece. I wish business and collaboration did not mean shams, or overpricing yourself and your value. I wish word of mouth meant an agreement set in stone, where people feel responsible for what they have promised.

I wish that people should acknowledge the work others have done before plagiarizing. That recognition for work done should not mean beating one's drum at all times regardless of who actually did the work. I wish people will not hold on to critical information just to create their own value. I want people to open up, and help people with all and everything at their disposal with nothing but a singular vision of success in mind.

I don't like false pretenses. I don't like subtle hints and innuendos that are meant to establish superiority. In fact, I don't like any social faux pas at all - there shouldn't be any. I want all of us to be accepting and understanding of all cultures and beliefs - I don't like the snobbish snooty tone of anyone sneering at anybody.

In my ideal world, I want humble people to live. People who would give up their slots in the batting order for someone who is more important to the team itself. I want people who would be unashamed in not charging money for any little bit of help they can do to others. In my ideal world, people would just lay down all the cards on the table and just select the best cards from the deck, voluntarily.

Ze art of negotiation

2011-08-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

A pretty long video, but very interesting! Make sure you give me a commission when you negotiate your next salary raise :)

The trailer (placefillers) - the Return of the King

2011-08-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

The trailer (placefillers) - the Two Towers

2011-08-21T22:58:00.000-07:00

The trailer (placefillers) - the Fellowship of the Ring

2011-08-20T00:57:00.000-07:00

Where, oh where, is the regular post?

2011-08-19T00:17:00.000-07:00

So some people have been telling me, that posting just a song or a TED video is not fair. That does not constitute a "regular" post, you say. Well, it _IS_ a real post, if I say so. And that is because, I say so - I am the blogger who posted those!

This post, also, technically is not a regular post. Although I'd say it is. See, the purpose of this 30-day blogging marathon is to get out of the writer's block. I think I am out of it. But this constant pressure to write something everyday isn't fair. You have a life, so do I. And writing so much isn't possible.

But the important thing is that I am still posting stuff. The post that I am writing now could have been a final summary post, you know, at the end of 30 days. But screw that! I have just realized that holding on to an idea, a post, or just a thought in the head that wants to be expressed isn't good. In fact, the pursuit of a "spectacular" post can lead to the death of the post itself. When I reflect back, I think this was the reason that "choked" my blogging. The pursuit of a great post led to a lack of posts. Meh, no longer.

I have a suspicion that I am past my 24 hour deadline to post this. So I'll probably turn the clock back a bit as well just to make sure :)

A wonderful song for you

2011-08-17T23:44:00.000-07:00

Yet another spiel about the Temple of Doom

2011-08-17T15:30:00.003-07:00

I am adding to the numerous existing criticisms of Steven Spielberg's film, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. And nothing can better portray my emotions about this movie than Shashi Tharoor's review, titled India, Jones, and the template of dhoom. My indignations are just plain rants, but I have some course of action in mind which we could count as revenge. This, in brief, is what the film is about:

... hundreds of millions of people, mostly young and impressionable people who almost certainly had never set foot in the subcontinent, met an Indian family, or read an exposition of Hinduism acquired an abiding image of India. It was of a country where kings and courtiers feasted on stewed snakes and monkey brains, where Kali worshippers plucked the hearts out of their victims and embroiled them in flaming pits, and where evil, poverty and destitution reigned until the Great White Hero could intervene to restore justice and prosperity.

If you have watched the movie, I am pretty sure that you know what I mean. If not, consider yourself warned - maybe you would want to sit with a poster cut-out of Spielberg which you could burn afterwards.

Since there is freedom of speech, etc. - here is how we should reply. This time, I would borrow from Greatbong, from his revew of the movie "Slumdog Millionaire":

Let’s say I made a movie about the US where an African-American boy born in the hood, has his mother sell him to a pedophile pop icon, after which he gets molested by a priest from his church, following which he gets tied up to the back of a truck and dragged on the road by KKK clansmen. Then he is arrested and sodomized by a policeman with a rod, after which he is attacked by a gang of illegal immigrants, and then uses these life experiences to win “Beauty and The Geek”.

I say why let's just say - let's do it! Let us make a movie about America where a wandering monk from India comes to a convention and conquers a country with his philosophy and conviction. He dares to call everybody "sharers of immortal bliss, holy and perfect beings" while they are rather accustomed to being called "sinners" - and thereby shows them a new world? Oh wait, damn, that has already happened, in real life!

So here is a new movie plot line. There are secret gatherings of cannibal feasts inside Churches whose sole purpose is to get more unsuspecting people into their fold through rather aggressive "recruitment campaigners" (also known as Protestant Priests). There are CIA doctors testing at the limits of human endurance by getting Gitmo detainees eaten alive by rats and scoring as per race, etc. All this, until a Mighty Brown Man (possibly a clone of Sunny Deol) comes and saves the world by anesthetizing the bad guys with Deepak Chopra's sermon recordings. Hah, now wouldn't that be great!

In defence of Delhi Belly

2011-08-16T02:11:00.002-07:00

Or rather, the post should be titled "Why I saw the same Delhi Belly that everyone else did". This post is sort of in response to a review of the movie by Greatbong on his DNA India column: Did I see the same Delhi Belly as others did?

So let me begin with what I do agree with him about, in terms of the movie (or its shortcomings thereof). All of these, for sure:

No, I did not find putting a “b****c***” every few words and the generally endless stream of unimaginative profanities (save the one about the car) to be a sign of Hindi cinema’s newfound boldness and maturity. I cringed every time we were asked to believe that Imran Khan, who looks like he spent half his life in a beauty parlor, is actually a down-on-his-luck, unwashed and filthy bachelor who lives in a dingy apartment with his slacker friends. I find nothing progressive and gritty in actually showing people toiling over a toilet bowl.

But what I do find funny is the fact that there is a fat slob of a guy who goes to potty and has to resort to orange juice when the water runs out. I am not 13 (although some may debate that), but I laughed nonetheless. Had it been Kader Khan would it have been funny? Hell yes - even imagining his face as he realizes there is no water makes me smile. But you have to admit, the guy who played the role (Kunaal Roy Kapoor) makes it equally funny! I don't care if it was branded indie or alternate, I just happened to like the movie. Now, Greatbong has a point when he says it was marketed well (or rather, branded well) as a "cool", "attitude" or "edgy" film where if you don't see the clothes, it is you who is not worthy (a.k.a. the new Emperor's new clothes syndrome). I consider myself immune from this particular infection for just this movie simply because I went into the theater with just two adjectives about the movie in my head, "gross" and "funny" - didn't know anything else about it.

Now, what was good about the movie for me? For one, the comic timing and the situational comedy. The sense of urgency when the three protagonists are running from the cops in the middle of a big bazaar. My favourite scene by far was the one where the gangsters get hold of the air hostess from Singapore Airlines (Shenaz Treasurywala) and then do the countdown with a fake gun to her head and she just runs off in the middle of a tense countdown; in a fashion that would have made Ronen Sen proud! The movie is fast, the comic situations are well paced and there are no songs that seem out of place.

The bad: well, the script is a bit recycled and predictable, the character portrayals are cliched, and even the big-name-drop style "Guy Ritchesque" mixup of two bottles is very predictable. However, why does the mixup need to be attributed to a foreign director (except savvy marketing, of course)? Wouldn't we have come up with a similar idea? And yes, Aamir Khan trying to do the 80's spoof in the end while the credits were rolling was a rip-off as well. It reminded me more of Tom Cruise at the ending credits of Tropic Thunder, and is perhaps a trailer to the next movie coming up starring Aamir Khan? And yes, the "spontaneous" love-making scenes might be out of my idea of contemporary India, but hey - that's just me!

Overall, therefore - no I don't think the movie is trash and is indeed a good and funny movie. And yes, this is nothing visionary or such crap.

Gentlemen, fight local warming! :D

2011-08-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

In less than 6 minutes, you shall be entertained and informed about the dangers of blogging as well as of, well, being a guy:

Tactical retreat

2011-08-14T00:46:00.001-07:00

Never underestimate the stupidity of testosterone! :)

Night out, again

2011-08-13T09:23:00.003-07:00

Reference: Confessions of an all-nighter

Yes - I am posting this at 9:30 am.

Yes - I am happy and elated.

No - the achievement is different this time: haven't written down 1000 lines of code

Yes - it was productive work, and I have learned to use a new software which will be useful for me for a long time to come.

No - nobody clapped for me at 7:30 am this time either! :(

Yes - this post (like the last one) is technically a cop-out: not those ponder - laugh - hate - ponder ones I usually post.

Yes - I still want to continue my quest to report success to myself.

And yes, many many more posts are coming.

The eight rules of Fight Club

2011-08-12T01:58:00.000-07:00

One of the best dialogues ever delivered. Do enjoy - and fight on your first night!