SueTrinder.com - Sue Trinder & Associates

'To Be the Best I Could Be . . .'

2009-06-14T11:40:01+01:00

This week it was the birthday of Anne Frank. If she had been allowed to live, she would have been 80 years old. She is caught in our imaginations as a teenage girl and her extraordinary writings capture the same fears, concerns and hopes held today. She wanted to be the best writer she could be, she wanted the best from life and she wanted the best for other people. She wrote 'I will not remain insignificant, I will go into the world and help mankind.' She was hated for who she was, but unwittingly became one of the the most successful diarists in the world.

I love this quote she wrote when she was still in hiding:

"From my favourite spot on the floor I look up at the blue sky and the bare chestnut tree, on whose branches little raindrops shine, appearing like silver, and at the seagulls and other birds as they glide on the wind...

"As long as this exists, I thought, and I may live to see it, this sunshine, the cloudless skies, while this lasts I cannot be unhappy."

This morning I was listening to some meditations about Anne and heard this affirmation from Thea Hurst, who also wrote a diary whilst living in Germany during the war which will be published in English later this year. She says

'I need to love and show understanding to everyone I meet. That is my religion today.'

'What is the Difference Between Thinking and Feeling?'

2009-05-25T06:40:00+01:00

Today's offering comes from Steve Chandler. I love it as it's a slightly different take on the well known quote by Eleanor Roosevelt 'No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent'

Steve tells how in his 17 Lies book he enjoyed writing about Marylin vos Savant, who has one of the highest IQ scores ever recorded. She once wrote a weekly magazine column and he was always intrigued by the simplicity and power of her intelligence. A reader once wrote to her asking what is the difference between thinking and feeling?

She replied, 'Feeling is what you get for thinking as you do.'

Steve says that the lie he was trying to dramatise is the lie that says our feelings of upset and annoyance are caused by the behaviour of others. They are not. And the freedom that comes from seeing that they are not is exciting to experience. Feeling is only and always what I get for thinking the way I do.

Food for thought n'est ce pas?

If you want to learn new skills and strategies in order to think and feel differently, feel free to get in touch at enquiries@suetrinder.com

'What You're 'Saying' When You're Not Talking Could Be Sabotaging Your Business and Your Life!'

2009-05-21T06:27:00+01:00

In July and September this year, Michael Grinder, world authority in the study of non verbal communication, who just happens to be the brother of John Grinder, the co-founder of NLP, will be in London running his renowned 2 part 'Power of Influence' training in conjunction with NVI International. Michael doesn't come to the UK very often - so this is a brilliant opportunity to study directly with the Master of non verbal intelligence.

For example, if you want to learn:

The secret (and simple) voice inflection that helps you obtain more authority, position and influence
Practical skills to leverage your interpersonal and influencing powers to achieve the collaborations and professional relationships needed for success
What the outstanding communicators and managers know that you don't (Hint, it has nothing to do with manipulation and everything to do with recognising the subtle non verbal signals that are coming your way!)
4 ways to use 'visual' patterns to add emotional power to your words, express sincerity and diffuse the most challenging confrontations . . . so you can more easily predict and manage the outcome of almost any meeting, no matter what content you have to deliver

For the vast majority of people, non verbal communication is an unconscious, involuntary response to the spoken word and the non verbal signals of others. If we assume that the knowledge you have is enough and you know WHAT to say, then the thing that sets you apart from other people is the HOW. If you want to know more click here to speak to Tracy or email me directly at sue@suetrinder.com

Top Ten Ways to Cope with Change in Your Work

2009-05-18T11:28:00+01:00

Change in your work can be stressful—whether it's due to job loss, a new job or working extra hours because other staff have been made redundant. If you’re facing this situation, consider the following.

1. Take an honest look at yourself. What are your strengths, weaknesses, skills? How did those influence—positively or negatively—the change?

2. Step up your self-care. Major changes are physically and emotionally taxing. You need to look after yourself now more than ever.

3. Engage your curiosity. What went wrong, or right? What could you have done better? What worked really well?

4. Focus on what you want, and less on what you don’t want. Keep your eye on the prize.

5. Find support. Since your transition affects your family as well, it may be helpful to seek the outside support of friends and/or professionals.

6. Work on your thoughts. Calm your fears and reinforce your sense of hope and happiness.

7. Reassure (or avoid) those who are threatened by, or jealous of, the change.

8. Create your own rite of passage. Ceremony and ritual help with all transitions.

9. Let go of how things were “supposed to be” and accept “how things are.” Find appreciation for what is.

10. Keep things in perspective. Or try on a new perspective. Don’t get stuck. Remember, the only constant is change.

And if you want help and support in dealing with what's going on in your life, get in touch at enquiries@suetrinder.com for a chat about how we can help.

The Power of Effective Communication

2009-05-14T06:30:00+01:00

It's been a time for more travel, I've recently come back from FYROM former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia where I was an observer monitoring the presidential and local government elections. This picture shows my fellow observer Matteo, an Italian journalist and Ismet our interpreter walking through the snow to reach one of the polling stations. Arben our driver had had to stop the car due to the blizzard that suddenly arrived!

I love working on these missions and seeing democracy at work. It is a humbling experience to see people participating in something we take for granted in the UK - and I'm constantly

energised when using the skills and techniques I teach in group dynamics - especially when there is no official leader. We work with people from other nationalities in teams of four, we've usually never met before, it's pretty intense - sometimes 20 hour days - and we have to get on pdq in order to do the work. This is no time for egos and it's a reminder that non verbals and body language are cross cultural. If you want to know more about you can hone your teambuilding skills and communicate more effectively using influence instead of power, do get in touch at enquiries@suetrinder.com

Effortless Learning in Villefranche

2009-05-11T06:04:00+01:00

It's been a while since I last posted on this website as I have been in France studying at the world famous Institut de Francais in Villefranche, just outside Nice. It's a total immersion French language course and is quite simply extraordinary. People with all levels of knowledge are warmly welcomed and those who spoke no or very little French were speaking and understanding it by the end of 4 weeks. My group of nine was an eclectic bunch including German, Swiss, Australians and Americans and we were ably led, taught, supported and teased by the charismatic Bruno Preau.

Quite apart from the warmth and friendliness of all the staff, my interesting

fellow students, the theatre trips, the excursions, the degustations, the meals and the general introduction to French culture, what fascinated me was the effortless way the professeurs and animateurs led their groups. The topic of group dynamics and the power of influence is, as you will know dear to my heart, and it was fascinating to see the skills we teach being acted out effortlessly in front of my eyes.

Some people can just walk into a room and exude charisma. Michael Grinder, on whose work some of our trainings are based, explains that as he never had that innate ability he wanted to figure out how those of us who don't have it naturally can develop it. If you want to know more about how we can help you, please do get in touch at enquiries@suetrinder.com

The Innovative Brain and the Credit Crunch

2008-11-18T17:19:31+00:00

Did you know that entrepreneurs are riskier decision makers than their managerial counterparts? Research recently concluded by Professor Barbara Sahakian at Cambridge University demonstrates that not only do entrepreneurs approach decision making differently, but that these skills may be possible to teach.

The research (Nature magazine 13.11.08) found that entrepreneurs present highly adaptive risk-taking behaviour which can result in positive outcomes during stressful economic circumstances. It seems that the ability to make quick decisions under stress may have evolutionary value as a means of seizing opportunities in a rapidly changing environment.

To test their hypothesis, the scientists asked 16 entrepreneurs from Silicon Fen, the group of high tech companies in and around Cambridge, and 17 managers to complete a computerised neuro cognitive assessment (whatever that is)) measuring various aspects of their decision-making abilities. On a decision-making task that required 'cold' processes, entrepreneurs and managers performed in a similar fashion. 'Cold' processes govern real decisions such as when planning the opening of a training consultancy or recruiting staff.

The researchers then asked the entrepreneurs and managers to make 'hot' or risky decisions which involved evaluating different outcomes. For example, the decision to finance one of several potentially excellent but risky business opportunities is a hot decision – as emotions can play a role. In this test, although entrepreneurs and managers both made good quality decisions, the entrepreneurs took significantly more risks. The entrepreneurs also showed superior cognitive flexibility and higher ratings on questionnaires which measure impulsivity. These cognitive processes are intimately linked to brain neurochemistry, particularly to the neurotransmitter dopamine.

Psychological and biomedical research has traditionally considered risk taking as an abnormal expression of behaviour so it's really interesting to see these outcomes. Three years ago when I was an employee I had no idea how to assess a business opportunity – and would have likely considered some to be extremely risky. Some say it's risky to invest in property at the moment, others say it’s the best time ever. What do you think?

Are you a traditional manager or are you the more creative impulsive type? Will your services be reduced during the coming months or will you be learning new skills to ensure you are there at the top of the leader board?

Barack Obama and the Case for Charisma

2008-11-05T16:42:15+00:00

'If leaders had only one important function, it would be to inspire others; to bring out even more than the best we can be, even more than each of us thought was possible, to galvanize us and to bring us together'

This quote on this historic day comes from Shelle Rose Charvet. She puts it in to words so much better than I can - so I will refer you directly to her - here is the link

http://www.successtrategies.com/blog/?p=21#more-21

Six Basic Skills of Effective Communication

2008-10-21T13:04:36+01:00

Most of us, in our professional lives, focus on developing business, technical or other content based expertise. But this knowledge is not enough to take us to the next level in our careers. Content is not enough.

We've probably all met someone at work who is technically brilliant at what they do, but is unable to communicate effectively with their manager or their colleagues.

Top business leaders invariably name so caled 'soft skills' as more important than content for achieving and succeeding in leadership roles. These skills include being able to

build rapport with practically anyone
influence without bullying
inspire co-operation and teamwork
communicate ideas clearly and compellingly
consider other people's emotional responses
negotiate for win win results

These abilities have very little to do with what we say and a lot more with how we communicate. Studies about perception show that our eyes, our ears, our fingers, skin, breathing and emotions play a huge role in interpersonal communication - often without our being aware. I've talked in an earlier article about the behavioural model of cats and dogs. If cats have leadership, it's based on consistency. If dogs have leadership, then it's all about personal contact. Over the next few days I'll be talking some more about these six skills.

Cats & Dogs

2008-10-16T12:45:15+01:00

Why is it that some people are easy to form relationships with and to work with and influence, while others are not? We are all affected by our own and others' style of leadership and relationships and it is often the person with 'power' who is the key player when it comes to team collaboration and co-operation.

The Cats and Dogs behavioural model created by Michael Grinder offers a non judgmental way to understand these 'power' people and provides strategies to bring them on board. If you've ever owned a cat or a dog, you will instinctively know the differences in their personalities. By looking at people in a similar way, we can transfer this knowledge and take off some of the pressure.

Think about it, when you call your cat, it takes a message and gets back to you later. When you call your dog, it comes. Its all about the degree of independence or accommodation.

And one of the benefits of applying this understanding of cats and dogs to people is that we can become more realistic about our expectations of ourselves and other people including our work colleagues.

You wouldn't expect a 'dog' kind of person to be particularly assertive, nor a 'cat' person to be easy to manage or influence. And yet it's not quite as straightforward as that. Cat and dog behaviours are at opposite ends of a continuum - we all have both cat and dog behaviour in us. The power of influence is that we are able to recognise which part is required at any given moment. There are times when part of us wants to be creative and break the rules, there are others when we want to follow them.

So which do you recognise most in yourself? Are you more cat or more dog? Do you behave differently at work than when you are at home?