Sugabelly

Yesterday I Told My Mother I Hated Her

2012-05-29T21:50:00.000+01:00

And I meant it because a part of me does (or did)

Today she called me in a panic.

She was attacked in her car at gun point by armed robbers and shot at.

They asked her to hand over the keys but her car starts at the press of a button and she'd put the keys away in a hard to reach bag.

Afraid that if she said she couldn't find the keys they'd kill her or worse, abduct her, she just stepped on the gas and floored it and they opened fire.

She's alive, and she sounds well enough but it was a really close call.

Perhaps this is the universe telling me that my mother and I have reached rock bottom and our only option is to start back up otherwise lie down and wait for the end.

When she called I comforted her as best as I could, asked her if she could come home, banished her self-recriminations and told her I loved her as directly and simply as I could.

It made me realise how incredibly vulnerable she is.

It also made me realise how sad it is that in spite of the fact that we are not speaking to each other, I am the only one she has to call.

She's sleeping now and when she wakes in the morning, I will call and reassure her once more.

Of course, this is also the universe making clear to me what a worthless person I am.

Why Am I So Angry?

2012-05-27T19:51:00.000+01:00

I just realised that I have been indescribably angry for as long as I can remember

I just don't know why

I Am The Laziest Artist

2012-05-23T22:12:00.003+01:00

I wish all my commissions would draw themselves........

I wish 10 Nigerians would draw itself.......

I wish Wazobia would draw itself......

I wish the Nigerian Blog Awards would draw themselves...

I wish I didn't have to practice anatomy....

I wish I didn't have to practice perspective....

I wish I didn't have to practice poses.....

Go away artwork I have to complete ...... let me sleep!!!.....

I'm going to hide all my pencils behind the toilet.

If I don't think about it long enough it will all go away ...... yay

Why so lazy Sugabelly? Why so lazy?

One Afternoon

2012-05-18T16:43:00.001+01:00

I met a man in Salamander.

I was sitting at my favourite table. He just happened to be sitting at the next table.

He was fiddling with a tablet. I set out my things to draw.

I couldn't recognize the tablet he held in his hands. It wasn't an iPad, and it wasn't a Galaxy Tab.

So finally, I said loudly "What is that?"

It was a Kindle Fire.

Then it was his turn. He asked what I was drawing. I told him about Wazobia.

Showed him all the pages that noone else had seen yet.

He picked up his things and moved to my table.

We ordered food, drinks, and talked, and talked, and talked.

We talked about how Hausa people always get their way by assuming everyone speaks Hausa.

We talked about a friend of his that was becoming disturbingly more and more radical.

He was good at math, I was hopeless.

He actually studied mathematics at school.

I decided there and then he was a glutton for punishment.

We talked about school, degrees, dreams for building businesses.

We talked about art. He liked comics.

He told me whenever he was in Abuja, he was always in Salamander.

That if he was here, I'd find him there.

We argued and laughed and laughed and laughed.

When it was time to go, he offered to take me home so I got in his car.

We exchanged numbers while waiting in the fuel line.

We rode around town and talked some more.

When he dropped me off at my house he promised to call.

The next day my phone rang, he was back in Lagos.

I called him once after that.

Last week I was thinking, "Maybe I should call Nabil, see if he's back in the Buj..."

That's when an idle click in Google Reader took me to a story on Bella Naija titled "For Nabil"

I thought it was curious, since I'd just been thinking about calling my friend.

The picture in the story looked like him too. Hmm... Strange.

The more I read, the less funny it became.

The Nabil in this story kept seeming more and more similar to my Salamander friend.

By the time I read that he was dead my head was spinning.

Lots of frantic Googling ensued. I had to be sure.

I called Nabil maybe five times. .. "The number you have dialed is switched off."

"The number you have dialed is switched off."

"The number you have dialed is switched off."

Fuck this shit. More Googling.

It couldn't be him. There was no way.

He was just here for fuck's sake.

He was healthy as a horse.

He was breathing fine, he was walking fine, he was thinking fine, everything was WORKING.

Everything was working.... until it wasn't.

And to be honest, it still feels like it didn't really happen.

Like one day I'll walk into Salamander and he'll just be sitting there.

I just feel tired.

Something inside me feels like this was deeply wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen.

I keep wondering what went wrong? What went wrong? What happened????

I don't know.

But my sweet, intelligent, funny friend isn't coming back to Salamander any time soon.

And it all feels so incredibly wrong.

Since the post went up I've found what a small world it is online and met a few people who were his friends as well.

So many people that have known him for so long and so well.

I didn't even know his last name until I read that article.

I'm glad for you who have months and years of memories and pictures of him to share.

Me, I have one afternoon.

But I will remember.

Be free my friend.

My one afternoon friend.

Nabil Hanga ( L)

Guess Who I Ran Into At The Bank

2012-05-10T13:39:00.001+01:00

So there I was standing in line at GTB when someone came up to me and said, "excuse me, are you Sugabelly?"

Of course I was thinking 'oh God, oh God, please don't let this be happening!'

I just got out of hospital (yes, I was hospitalised again - long story) and i was covered in bandages with cotton wool and plasters all over my arm plus I haven't showered in two days so I was all stinky. In short I was a hot mess. My hair was all over the place; I had major bed head, ugh!

And so I sort of whisper, yes.

Turns out it was Mizchif!!!!

I almost screamed but I was too drowsy from meds, plus the bank people were already judging me, no need to give them a reason to kick me out.

So Mizchif, it was great seeing you!!! ^_^

I'll call you later!

Although I wish people would stop running into me only when I look like I just crawled out from beneath a bramble bush.

Yesterday when I looked fab and was smelling nice, nobody noticed me. Today that I look like an ojuju suddenly I have to meet new people.

I suppose this is the universe telling me I have to dress nicely and shower every day.
Oh yeah people, I am really really shy in real life until I get to know you so if you ever run into me and say hi, and it looks like I'm trying to run away from you, don't take it personally, I'm a very socially awkward person. Jeremy says I'm just a scaredy-cat, but I like to call it shyness.

And since, I've already come out with it I might as well confess.

If you're that guy who chased me down the street from Guaranty Trust Bank ( how come people are always catching me at GTB? I need to stop going there) and asked me if I was Sugabelly and I ran away from you three streets down, I'm really really sorry, I also hadn't showered that day and I was rushing to scan something, and I just came out in my pajamas and you totally caught me off guard and yes it was me and I'm really sorry for just running away like that. I'm very shy. Sorry.

It's Here!!!! - Apple Volume 1

2012-05-08T21:01:00.000+01:00

I ordered Apple Creative Collection Volume 1 from Amazon a while ago. I wasn't sure if they would deliver to Nigeria or if there would be any issues so I just ordered one book as a test to see what the process was.

Today I was sitting on my bed when the door bell rang twice. I didn't want to answer it because it's my period and I'm cramping and totally tired but I was the only one at home so after muttering 'go away' twice under my breath I went to get the door and there was the Fedex man!!!!!!

I swear I almost kissed him! I was sooooo excited when I saw him holding a package that said "Amazon" on it!

Apple is an amazing collection / anthology from one of my all time favourite art studios - Udon.

Basically they do a book and they invite all these amazing up and coming artists in Korea to create art for the book. Each artist gets a set number of pages and they create a colour comic with the pages they have.

The art work is simply breathtaking and so inspiring! I hope to be able to draw and paint like this some day. These guys are so good it's intimidating.

Here it is! Here it is!!!

The package

I ordered it on April 5 and it arrived today on May 8 so ship time is about a month.

Ugh, so amazing!

This is my favourite story in here.

It's called Mom's Wallet and it's about a boy who wants to steal his mother's wallet for money and has to deal with an angel and demon that appear out of nowhere and try to influence him.

It's beautifully drawn, the colours are rich and the artwork is sick.

Apple Creative Collection Volume 1.

It costs $34.95 but I bought it off Amazon for $23.07

Shipping to Nigeria was about $13 so the whole thing ended up costing me about $37.

It was worth every penny! I'm buying all the rest!!!

You can get it here: Apple Volume 1 on Amazon

Aunty Sugabelly

2012-05-03T15:59:00.001+01:00

"...I know why you are fat.

...It's because you are eating too much cake."

- my six year old niece

Progress...

2012-04-30T12:05:00.000+01:00

The last two weeks have been rough, and I've done a lot of thinking.

First of all, thank you to everyone who said something or sent me an email. Your advice did not go unheeded.

I needed to calm the fuck down, and right now I think for the most part, I have.

I listed out my issues and ordered them according to priority.

The ones I can deal with, I'm in the process of dealing with and the ones that I can't at the mo, I'm shelving till later.

Psychologist / Psychiatrist / Depression

I spoke to a friend and he knows a guy who knows about a dude that he heard about from another dude.

Living Situation

I'll grit my teeth and bear it. It's not life or death. It's pretty depressing but I'll live.

Work

I spoke to my bosses and explained some of my problems to them and we've come to an arrangement that I can cope with.

Situation with my Mother

Shelved for later / working on it

Body Issues

I made an eating plan and an exercise plan and I have stuck to it for three days now. So far so good.

Health

Feeling much better. Been on the new meds for my GERD for almost a week now. My barium swallows were normal and I have to have an endoscopy done tomorrow. The doctors are going to put a tube with a camera down my throat. Should be fun.

Money

Talked to my Grandmother. She says if doing a graphic novel is really my dream then she'll support that and I have to do it. She's giving me the money I need to get started which I'm incredibly grateful for because she doesn't have to give me and she's a little old lady trying to enjoy her retirement and a lot of people think art is frivolous so I was really really floored.

There are a number of other things that I can't deal with immediately so I've put them aside for now but these are the main ones.

Also I think being in the house most of the time was really getting to me and making me even more depressed and I couldn't get anything done so yesterday I just went to Salamander and got a lot of work done.

I'm pretty happy with the amount I drew while I was there although I ran into both of my bosses but we turned it into a pleasant semi-work/semi-casual meeting.

I also ran into a group of Japanese women who were happily gossiping about Nigeria until I said "Ano... sumimasen" (Erm, excuse me) to them and they jumped back in horror. ^_^

I'm feeling a lot better and trying to sort myself out. Thank you so much for being supportive and kind.

Home Is Where the Hatred Is

2012-04-26T00:28:00.000+01:00

Having to live with someone because you have no choice is a terrible thing.

To constantly be reminded that your are beholden, at their mercy, and have them threaten to kick you out at any moment and know that you have nowhere to go is something that hopefully will never happen to you but many people endure here, I know.

I got back from the hospital today, but in many ways I wish I somehow could have stayed.

I keep asking myself, is there really nowhere I can go? There is no answer because there is none.

I can't go home.

Home doesn't exist any more.

School was in many ways my one safe place. Instead of shunting around from one relative to another to be yet another person's burden, at school my room wasn't huge, it was just a small box, but everything from the locked door to the four walls, at least was mine.

Mine. Somewhere I could go, and if things got too bad, I could close the door and sit the world out.

Maybe that's why I wished I didn't have to leave.

That's why I was out all night with Bakura, because I just wanted to forget everything and pretend I didn't exist.

That's why I was beating down Yasu's door, because I just wanted a fresh start in a place where I wasn't me.

Because I didn't want to go home.

Because I can't go home.

There isn't a place in this world that is home for me.

Home doesn't exist any more.

My mother just got up one day and left. Walked out without a word, and never came back.

And so, I came back to nowhere to live. To nothing.

You see, home was demolished a long time ago, and I didn't even know.

I don't want to be dependent on anyone ever again.

All I want in the world right now is somewhere to live. Somewhere that is mine.

To constantly threaten someone with the insecurity of homelessness when you know they have nowhere to retreat is intolerably cruel.

But then, most of the people doing the threatening have never really had nowhere to go.

All I want is somewhere I can go.

I might have to do some things that will make some people feel very ill but the alternative to flight for me is to be trapped, possibly forever.

I've done worse things.

And I've judged myself.

My mind is made up. I will do it, whatever it turns out that it must be.

The first chance I get,

I'm leaving this place.

In Hospital

2012-04-23T14:56:00.001+01:00

Woke up this morning with difficulty breathing.

Tried to sit out but almost blacked out. Breathing a bit better now. Have a tube in my arm. Waiting for the doctor to come back with my chest Xray

Update:

Still in hospital. Did a number of tests. Turns out I have GERD - Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease.

I have to have an endoscopy tomorrow or next week but I did the Barium swallows and thankfully they were normal.

So this is my second night in hospital. The nurses and doctors here are really nice and people from work came to see me which was really nice, and one of my bosses brought me a birthday cake for my birthday ( which was a last month ) and Oreos!!!

Here's to getting better and getting healthy.

Thank you so much everyone that emailed me! I'll reply soon.

Frozen

2012-04-17T21:21:00.002+01:00

I don't know what to do.

I've managed a few months by staying indoors and talking to almost absolutely noone. In the past six months I've left the house about a total of fifteen times.

I can't go on any longer. I'm stuck. I'm panicking. I can't work. For the last month my work performance has been steadily declining and there's probably a 90% chance that I will be fired.

I can't keep pretending to be happy. I'm not.

I have panic attacks every day. The sheer amount of anxiety I'm dealing with every day is staggering.

On one hand, if I stop working, it will be fewer interactions with people and perhaps that's for the best since I'm barely functioning at this point.

But on the other hand, if I'm fired, I won't have any money and the panic is already rising. I spent four years in school just barely, barely making it from term to term by the skin of my teeth. I don't want to not have money. The thought of not having money makes me feel really really ill. Losing my job will mean losing my freedom but at the same time I can't in good conscience continue this way, not if I'm not getting my work done and holding everyone back.

On many levels it feels like this is yet another thing that I have failed at in my life. Unlike normal people, I can't even keep a job.

Sometimes, I think, on top of everything else that happened, for me to come out of it with such a debilitating anxiety disorder is so unfair.

To not be able to go out and talk to people without your heart pounding and feeling like you can't breathe. To not be able to talk to people at work without feeling the same way until you're at the point where you can't even think about work without panicking.

My therapist recommended medication when I was in school but I was really really resistant because I was so afraid (and still am) that I'd be dependent on the medicine and become a different person, and for a while I was okay, but recently I started having the panic attacks so bad, I decided to try it.

It's only added to my work problems. I have insomnia (I've always had it) but when I do fall asleep, I'm sleeping ridiculous amounts. Now I just missed a massively important work meeting .... from oversleeping.

If I get fired, I will probably sleep the next three months away.

I tried talking to my family about my fears and my anxiety but they just yelled at me and didn't try to listen.

Living with an anxiety disorder is hard for anyone, but I think living with one in Nigeria is even more so.

To people here, problems of the sort I have are simply a sign of weakness.

And to be honest, that's how I feel inside. Like a weak, unsuccessful human being.

A failure.

I hate my body

2012-04-15T23:18:00.000+01:00

I act like shit don't faze me

Inside it drives me crazy

My insecurities could

Eat me alive....

Longing

2012-04-13T23:46:00.001+01:00

I wish I had the courage to jump

To fall through the air

And shatter my skull on the concrete below

Then get up and disappear into the darkness.

Crash

2012-04-09T19:13:00.000+01:00

Nobody wants to get this phone call, but it came last night. I heard about it this morning.

My cousin was sitting in his car with a friend and a drunk driver came careening into him from nowhere.

His jaw was shattered, half of his face lacerated, and he's pretty seriously hurt.

My aunt is heartbroken. Her youngest son is lying in hospital totally pulverised.

I .... honestly don't care.

This aunt of mine treated me like a poor relative when I stayed in her house.

This same aunt came to our house and called me a bastard and said that my mother and I would never amount to anything. Then she cursed me.

In spite of numerous efforts to form a relationship with her children my cousins, they all but acted as if I was invisible / transparent.

Now my whole family is giving me funny looks because I don't look the least bit concerned.

I know that this is a serious situation and I should be more forgiving but I don't know. It's not that I'm trying to make this situation about me because I'm not.

I'm not saying (or feeling) that her hurtful actions against me are more important than the fact that her son is currently fighting for his life, but I can't help but think that it is interesting that she could come here and say to me that my life is worthless and now her son came this close to losing his.

I'm not saying it serves her right.

But my honest feeling is that I cannot feel the smallest bit of empathy for her.

And maybe this means I need to ask myself why I can hold such a hateful position, but this blog is a place to say how I truly feel.

Happy Easter People!!!!

2012-04-08T10:49:00.000+01:00

Have a wonderful, safe day!!! ^_^

I Don't Have the Strength ... To Be a Nigerian

2012-04-03T09:25:00.002+01:00

I woke up before 8am today for maybe the second time since I've been back.

I'm not used to such early mornings.

In college I scheduled all my classes to begin at 11am at the very earliest.

I am not a morning person. When I was a kid I was. I used to love waking up early and wandering through the house while it was still peacefully quiet, but not anymore. I sleep like a log and wake up bleary eyed and confused. It takes me a few minutes to reorient myself and snap out of it. Like Yasuhito would say, "Fuck, I'm getting old."

The first thing I noticed when I got back is that Nigerians are early risers.

I mean, I've always known this .... technically, but before I went away to college, I never really noticed it because I was one of them. In Loyola, I'd wake up at 5am like clockwork, long before the rising bell at 6, so it never really dawned on me the gravity of the situation until now.

WHY DO WE NEED TO WAKE UP SO EARLY IN THIS DAMN COUNTRY????????

Seriously, what possible reason could we have for decent people to have their lights on at 4am and be ironing and boiling water or whatever the hell they're doing that's not sleeping?

At the very earliest, I don't think anybody needs to be doing anything before 9am, but not in Nigeria!!

In Nigeria, the banks are full at the CRACK of dawn! Offices are full at the CRACK of dawn, everybody has been awake for ages at the CRACK of dawn! It makes me want to scream!!!!!

Then as if waking up early isn't enough of a problem, there's the underexplored issue of the kind of energy committment that goes into performing femininity in this country.

Note, I said performing femininity not being female because while the two are often confused, they are not the same one does not necessarily need to be present for the other to exist.

Let's not play games. Women in Nigeria have a lot of energy. I unfortunately am not one of them.

The performance of femininity in Nigeria is a complex formula of ridiculous "beauty" paraphernalia - Brazilian Weave, ~~Bleaching Cream~~ Egyptian Milk, Biweekly spa and salon appointments, Alarming gym routines, "Designer" clothes, statement bags and shoes - and advanced angling - learning the fine art of hooking a Lagos/Abuja Big Boy or three to bankroll your needlessly expensive lifestyle.

I'm a little in awe of these women and how they juggle the time for all this with social events, dating worthless rich men and managing their pseudo careers, but honestly, I don't know if I can be like them.

I mean, do I want to be pretty and be able to wear whatever clothes I want and look amazing? Hell yeah!

Is it fun to be a glamourous social butterfly and flit from one party or event to the other and have your picture taken and be in all the magazines and have all the guys come after you and buy you nice things? Of course.

But I had a long thought about it and I just don't have the energy. I mean yeah I need to lose weight and if nothing else, I'd like to be back to my old size and be healthy and not have random horrible health scares, but beyond that, I think it requires an incredible amount of commitment and dedication not to mention a strong stomach for disgusting stuff to claw your way to the top of Nigeria's social ladder like a lot of women I've seen in Nigeria are trying desperately to do.

It reminds me of the other day I was talking to a friend of my Mom's. (Full disclosure: This friend has always been a rather sketchy person, so I am totally used to the sketchiness of his utterances )

I mentioned to him that I needed one million Naira to buy some equipment to launch/operate my comics label Jigida Comics properly, and he said to me "Getting one million Naira in this city is really, really easy. I have a couple of friends who would happily give it to you .... but you'll have to hang from the ceiling."

It wasn't lost on me at all that he was implying that I'd have to have sex with his friend(s) to get the one million Naira. I politely declined and then went to Salamander to cry into my peppersoup.

I don't judge girls that would have taken the offer. And if you're desperate enough, you actually might. Hell, if I was in an utterly desperate situation and the circumstances were dire enough, I actually might. Thankfully, I can live without the money and I can still draw on paper but the process of making the comics takes many hours longer than it would have if I could buy the equipment I needed. But I don't have the energy for runs and I get queasy really easily so I can't just close my eyes and pretend I'm far away while some yucky man that I have no feelings for sticks it in me.

I mean, I might have sex for money if my child was dying and there was absolutely no other way to get the money to save her.

But that's about it.

Although..... now that I think about it. Practically everyone in Nigeria is having sex for money. I don't know about other countries, but from what I've seen of relationships in America from different ethnicities, while there's an expectation of exchanging gifts and other such things, it is nowhere near as advanced and expensive as it is in Nigeria.

People in Nigeria demand so much stuff in relationships and it's not roses and chocolates neither.

Houses, cars, yachts, flats, designer bags, designer shoes, gold plated phones, trips abroad, property abroad, plastic surgery, land, etc and the list goes on and on.

Most Americans wouldn't dare to ask their significant other for the kinds of things that Nigerians ask for on a daily basis without shame.

So if you boil it down, Nigerians are having sex for money in a roundabout way because they're not entering relationships on the basis of love or even mutual attraction alone. I think arguably, I can say with reasonable confidence that on average Nigerians have comparably greater expectations of financial gain as an outcome of entering a relationship than other people in the world (or at least those that I have encountered and whose relationships I have been able to casually observe).

So what does this mean for me?

I'm not sure yet. What I am sure of is that I don't have the strength to do runs.

If I find a rich boyfriend, yay for me!!!

If I don't, my minimum requirement is that he not be significantly poorer than me, and that he be at least as educated and as exposed as I am.

Beyond that, I don't know if I have the strength to fight for all the stuff women in Lagos and Abuja are doing battle for.

I should have been born in Ghana or Cameroon or something.

I don't have the strength to be a Nigerian.

Wazobia Update

2012-03-30T20:45:00.001+01:00

I know it's late, and I'm sorry!! But better late than never right?

There's a new page up on Wazobia!!

So please check it out, and thank you! THANK YOU! so much everyone who has read it so far and liked it. I'd still like feedback on it so I'm listening.

Process pictures and videos soon for those of you that would like to see how it's made.

Loss

2012-03-25T10:44:00.001+01:00

My Great Uncle died this morning.

He was ill and we were all going to see him but he died this morning.

I am so unhappy.

I said a prayer for him and if anyone could say a prayer for him too it would mean very much to me.

Rest in peace and be free Uncle Obi. I miss you and I love you.

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever

Amen

The Web Comic is Up!!!

2012-03-24T09:23:00.002+01:00

Wazobia is finally up!!!

I've uploaded the first chapter on my new site Jigida Comics (which will be the home of all my web comics )

Please check it out and tell me what you think!!!

Jigida Comics

^_^

Thank You!!

2012-03-23T18:58:00.001+01:00

Thank you so much everyone for the birthday wishes!!!!

I had a really nice birthday!!! No cake, but I went to see a movie and I went to my baby cousin's Science Fair and he did really well with his science project!

Plus I got a pedicure which was awesome because I haven't had one in years and my feet had built up inches of thick skin (gross I know)

Yay!! Thanks!! I love you guys!!

XOXO

Sugabelly

I'm Twenty-Three!!!!!!!!!

2012-03-22T05:30:00.000+01:00

Bad makeup and light bubbles

No cake today; I forgot to order one!

No Win

2012-03-20T10:40:00.003+01:00

The YouWin list is out.

I didn't win. Congratulations to those who did.

In a way, it's a huge relief because I don't have to think about it anymore.

I noticed they prioritised existing businesses above startups which pretty much derails the whole aim of the program, but this is Nigeria so hey.

So, what now?

I'm still going to do what I set out to do. I planned to do it years before YouWin's first poster appeared and I still plan to do it now. I've been busy setting up the websites and stuff, and now I have to buckle down and draw. I've also registered the business name, which was interesting and frustrating at the Corporate Affairs Commission.

Door shut; window open.

Is That So?

2012-03-19T22:22:00.002+01:00

Weave Be Gone

2012-03-17T19:02:00.001+01:00

I'm back in braids.

I feel a bit disappointed though. I honestly thought this would be the year I'd just walk around with an afro and not do anything to my hair but then I went and tried to do the "weave challenge".

For those that don't know, the weave challenge is for people with natural hair and basically what you do is you try and wear weaves for one whole year (changing it periodically of course) and then at the end of the year, you take off the weave and you measure how much your hair grew and the person with the most growth is the winner.

Sounds easy right?

Yeah.

Problem is, I have never been able to wear weaves. Never. Every time I ever wore a weave I ended up looking like I had a bird's nest on my head. I've never been able to take care of them, and the endless brushing drives me crazy so I just don't brush it. Plus the whole sleep with a hairnet thing is too much for me to remember at bed time so I just fall asleep like that with no hairnet.

Needless to say, the biggest single obstacle to me completing the weave challenge was the weave itself.

I tried.

Honestly I tried.

I made a BIG EFFORT.

I actually went down to the salon (albeit suspicious as anything) and choked out that I wanted a weave.

They took one look at my hair and suddenly all the hair technicians disappeared leaving only heavy sighs in their wake.

Finally after chasing the salon workers around the shop I pinned down one man that agreed (very grudgingly) to do my hair.

I originally wanted to do a weave that would look like natural hair (a la TY Bello) but after the salon people informed me that that kind of super natural looking weave was human hair and that it cost more than I make in a month, I quickly shut my mouth and quietly chose a simple straight synthetic weave that was gloriously cheap.

Even then, it cost me ten thousand naira and just a few hours into having this thing on my head I was already squirming and longing to take it off.

Did I say I tried?

I managed to keep this awful thing on my head for one whole month. Probably I was just trying to justify my ten thousand naira but I think I deserve some kind of award for endurance.

How do Nigerian women do this??????????

I can't. The itching, the feeling like something is sitting on your head and crossing its legs, it drove me crazy!

I don't know if this means I'm already disqualified or if this counts as cheating, but I'm completing the weave challenge in braids.

What I Learned From the Language Challenge

2012-03-09T23:38:00.000+01:00

The Language Challenge was so much fun! If you haven't seen the entries, or don't know what I'm talking about, I advise you check it out ASAP!

Here's what I learned from Sugabelly's Language Challenge:

Yorubas are killing it in the language department!!

Igbos need to start teaching their children the language ASAP or it's going to disappear eventually (the chances of Yoruba disappearing are practically zero)

Hausas are often just as fluent as Yorubas but don't engage enough online

Other Nigerian ethnicities need spaces where they can speak their languages more often

Do you agree?

I think it's time for another edition of Sugabelly's Language Challenge.