Sugar Coma

I'LL BE FORTY

2011-08-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be forty.

Unlike many people who turn forty, I'm not dreading it, I love birthdays, especially my own. My attitude is that I'd much rather have a birthday and get another year older than be dead. Morose, but true.

So often, getting older, and being an adult in general, is underrated. Often I hear those of my generation or older lament that they would love to be a kid again. Reminiscing about a time of no worries, or burdens, nothing but play time, nap time, eating and fun time. I don't recall my childhood as being nearly that rosy. Frankly, being an adult rocks.

There's a lot to be said for leaving the t.v. AND all the lights on when I leave the room, if that's what I want. I can go to bed whenever I choose (my choice is often 8:00 p.m., but that's not the point). Running through the house with scissors has become an option. I can have cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The choice of what clothes to wear and how to style my hair on any given day are mine and mine alone. I am not required to make my bed. And even at the ripe old age of forty, my bedroom floor is often littered with clothes that no one can make me pick up and carry to the laundry room. I don't have to be home by the time the streetlights come one. There's no one to "give me something to cry about!". No more worrying about being tall enough to ride the roller coasters. I can shop in department stores without the employees there treating me like I'm going to steal something.

Of course, many of the perks that I listed come with consequences, if I choose to implement them. Exorbitant electric bills, possible flesh wounds, a shameful waistline. But sometimes, just knowing that you can do what you want, within the reasonable confines of the law of course, is just as good as actually doing them. Just think about it...adulthood wins.

RANDOM FOOD LISTS

2011-06-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

Here are a few of my random food opinions in list form...
A Sour Apple Tree's blog does this type of thing much better than me, but I like his blog so much, I've decided to swipe it ;)

Best Hamburgers in the Charleston/Huntington area...

1) The Bear's Den-Downtown Charleston, in the basement of the old Daniel Boone hotel

2) Bobby's Bar and Grill-Cross Lanes (Yes, it's a beer joint, but it's not a scary beer joint, and you'll see lots of people there strictly for the food)

3)Five Guys-Pullman Square (Crusty deliciously messy burgers and fantastic fries)

4) Fat Patty's-Barboursville and Huntington (Wish the fries were better, but hey, this is a burger list)

5) Steak and Shake-Barboursville (Royale Burger, 'nuff said)

Best Hot Dogs in the Charleston/Huntington area...

1) Sam's Hot Dogs-Hale St., Charleston

2) Tony's Gold Dome-Kanawha City (Another beer joint, but the dogs are worth the risk)

3) Sam's Club-Southridge Centre (What? Don't laugh. The weiner is Nathan's brand, the chili is Custard Stand, they're HUGE, and ultra-easy on the wallet)

4) The Leonard's-The Mound in South Charleston (Just simple WV dogs, for WV people who know good food)

Sorry Huntington, you're just not a "hot dog town". Hillybilly Hot Dogs, Stewart's, Frost Top, I'm unimpressed with all of those offerings. But I have an open mind, if any of you want to recommend a great dog in Huntington, just leave me a comment letting me know about it.

DULCE DE LECHE WITH TOASTED COCONUT ICE CREAM

2011-06-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure that I will be spontaneously combusting at any moment now. Actually, if it wasn't for the tropical humidity that is making everything so wet and steamy, I already would have. It's hot. Inhumanely hot. And in weather like this, a young woman's fancy turns to thoughts of ice cream.

Usually, I'd only make ice cream a couple of times between May and September. But, because of my above mentioned facing of a fiery death on what now seems to be a daily basis, I've already made ice cream three times, all of them crazy good batches.

There was the ubiquitous chocolate, made with a healthy infusion of Nutella (I wish I had two hearts so that I could pledge one of them to Nutella *sigh*). Chocolate is the preferred ice cream flavor of Mr. Icequeen, so it has become required summer (and winter) eats in our house.

Then there was the semi-successful-first-try at a peach flavored quart. Not bad, not great either, but I'd be willing to try making that one again.

But then....oh but then, came the one flavor to unite them all....Dulce de Leche w/toasted coconut. Not only is it possibly the best ice cream I've ever made, it may be (insert booming god-like voice here) THE BEST ICE CREAM OF ALL TIME. Yep, I said it after the first spoonful, and I stand by it now, even though the last drips of it were finished weeks ago. It's not just good, it's not just great. It's (comic geek alert!) the fucking Batman of frozen treats. This flavor will now be held up as the standard that all other ice creams aspire to. I'm drooling on my keyboard, just thinking about how great it will be when the ice cream and I are together once again.

It tastes like caramel. It tastes like coconut. Sweet monkey dumplings, it tastes like BUTTER! Smooth, and creamy, with tiny flakes of crunchy, nutty coconut throughout. It was sweet, and just a little salty. I've reached food Nirvana, and it's quite lovely.

DULCE DE LECHE W/TOASTED COCONUT ICE CREAM

1 cup half and half

1 tsp salt

1 Tbs vanilla extract

1 Tbs coconut extract

2 cups whipping cream

6 oz cream cheese, softened

14 oz can sweetened condensed milk

13.4 oz can dulce de leche

2 cups coconut, toasted and finely chopped

In large mixing bowl beat the cream cheese until fluffy then gradually add sweetened condensed milk until smooth, then the dulce de leche, beating until all ingredients are smooth. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Pour the ice cream mixture into a ice cream freezer container and freeze according to manufacturer's directions.

MALTED WAFFLES

2011-06-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

I may be the luckiest woman in the world. Because of my lifestyle (child-free) and my job (government drone), most of my weekends are lazy, stress-free affairs. Before you start hating me, you need to know that even with all this free time on my hands, I still can't seem to....

Make myself work out on a regular basis
Get to all the backed-up shows on my Tivo
Read all the books and magazines that I have laying around
Get to work on time
Shave my legs as often as I should
Learn a second language
Do as much baking as I'd like
Pay enough attention to my blog.

One thing that there always seems to be time for is the weekend breakfast. You know what I'm talking about. The breakfast that consists of more than a bowl of Corn Pops, or a piece of toast you're frantically shoving down your throat in that futile attempt to make it to work on time.

The weekend breakfast du jour is malted waffles. This is another one of those Baked: Explorations recipes (I'm smitten with this cookbook). These waffles were slightly crisp on the edges, with a very fluffy interior. The recipe requires malted milk powder, which I actually had on hand, and the powder gave it a hint of malty, cocoa like flavor. Me and the hubs were enjoying them so much, that I almost forgot to take a pic for you. The recipe follows the shot.

Malted Waffles

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup malted milk powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 large egg

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled

1 1/4 cups buttermilk

Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl. Make a well in the center. Whisk the egg in a second bowl. Whisk in the butter and buttermilk. Add the liquid mixture to the flour mixture and stir just until mixed – there will be some lumps. Heat waffle maker as per manufacturer directions and. Brush lightly with oil. Drop batter onto waffle maker and use technique from manufacturer to make the waffles.

Makes five to six waffles.

Up next, Dulce de Leche and toasted coconut ice cream.

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WHAT I'M READING...SUPER SAD TRUE LOVE STORY

2011-06-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

In a bleak future where the United States is on the brink of becoming a third world country, and everyone is judged primarily by their credit rating, a poor schlub in Manhattan is just looking for someone to share his pathetic life with.

This is not a chick book. Instead it's a funny, often ironic, look into what could end up being a very real vision of the future, mixed with lots of heartbreak that speaks to the inner loser in all of us.

BROWNIES TWO WAYS

2011-05-22T16:22:00.001-07:00

Since almost any recipe you could possibly want is available via internet, I rarely lust over hard-cover copies of cookbooks anymore. But, "Baked: New Frontiers in Baking" is an exception. If you're looking for something simple, but still a little off of the beaten path, B:NFB is worth a fun look.

Some of the most rewarding baking, is "thank you baking". Baking something for someone who has done something helpful or nice, or someone whose friendship you appreciate, and you want them to know it.

The reason for the two different types of brownies, is because I wanted to make brownies for some co-workers. I wanted to make something special, but I also needed a back-up brownie plan in case something with the untested recipe went awry.

I looked through the B:NFB cookbook, and made the delicious "Baked Brownie". Recipe listed further along. They turned out great, but then Mr. Icequeen wanted brownies too, so instead of making another trip to the grocery store for supplies to make another batch of "Baked Brownies", I turned to a Ghardelli box mix instead.

Both are delicious. I've always believed that boxed brownie mixes were actually superior to all brownies I had ever made from scratch. But, I have seen the chocolate light. The scratch brownie is both fudgy, and has a deep chocolate flavor, that is richly enhanced by the espresso powder added to the mix.

THE BAKED BROWNIE

Yield: 24 brownies

The Baked brownie is a beautiful thing.

Baked Note: A great brownie is easy to make, but you have to be aware of several factors. 1. Use a dark cocoa powder, like Valrhona. A pale, light-colored cocoa does not have enough depth. 2. Make sure your eggs are room temperature and do not overbeat them into the batter, and 3. Make sure you check your brownies often while baking. Once the brownies have been overbaked slightly, they have reached the point of no return.

1 1/4 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons dark cocoa powder

11 ounces quality dark chocolate (60-72%), chopped coarsely

8 ounces butter (2 sticks), cut into 1 inch cubes

1 tsp instant espresso powder

1 ½ cups sugar

½ cup light brown sugar

5 large eggs, room temperature

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Butter the sides and bottom of a glass or light colored metal pan 9x13x2 pan.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, the salt, and cocoa powder.

Configure a large sized double boiler. Place the chocolate, the butter, and the instant espresso powder in the bowl of the double boiler and stir occasionally until the chocolate and butter are completely melted and combined. Turn off the heat, but keep the bowl over the water of the double boiler and add both sugars. Whisk the sugars until completely combined and remove the bowl from the pan. Mixture should be room temperature.

Add three eggs to the chocolate/butter mixture and whisk until just combined. Add the remaining eggs and whisk until just combined. Add the vanilla and stir until combined. Do not over beat the batter at this stage or your brownies will be cakey.

Sprinkle the flour/cocoa/salt mix over the chocolate. Using a spatula (DO NOT USE A WHISK) fold the dry into the wet until there is just a trace amount of the flour/cocoa mix visible.

Pour the mixture into the pan and smooth the top with your spatula. Bake the brownies for 30 minutes (rotate the pan half-way through baking) and check to make sure the brownies are completely done by sticking a toothpick into the center of the pan. The brownies are done when the toothpick comes out with a few moist crumbs.

Cool the brownies completely before cutting and serving.

APOCALYPSE-FREE SHRIMP FRITTERS

2011-05-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

We never really thought that the world would end over the weekend, but we're always looking for any small reason to celebrate. So, when the world is nice enough to keep on keeping on, it only makes sense to party on down with shrimp fritters.

The only thing that even came close to the "walking dead" was Yeti.

What I'm Reading Right Now

2011-05-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

I just finished the Hunger Games trilogy. If you have not read this set of books, you must do so, right now. I'll be waiting here patiently for you to come back, and to let me know what you think of it.

ORANGE COOKIES

2010-10-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes knowing which recipes to avoid is just as important as knowing which ones are keepers. These cookies are terrible. Do not waste your time with them. They're so bad that I threw them out.

To be called orange cookies, the taste of orange turned out to be undetectable. They have the eggy taste of a poorly executed pound cake, except with a hint of cardboard flavor. Strike that, cardboard has MORE flavor than these cookies. I would have been okay with a subtle orange flavor. I would have rhapsodized about a strong orange flavor that really hit me over the head, but I received neither. I'm posting the recipe so that you'll know to avoid it. Read it, memorize, and then run far, far away from it.

Original Recipe Yield 33 servings

Ingredients

1 cup shortening

1 cup sugar

3 eggs

2/3 cup orange juice

1 tablespoon grated orange peel

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

ICING:

2 cups confectioners' sugar

1/4 cup orange juice

2 tablespoons butter (no substitutes), melted

Directions

1.In a mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in orange juice and peel. Combine flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to the creamed mixture.

2.Drop by heaping teaspoonfuls 2 in. apart onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10-12 minutes or until edges begin to brown. Remove to wire racks to cool.

3.In a small bowl, combine icing ingredients until smooth; drizzle over cooled cookies.

GINGER JAZZED BROWNIES

2010-10-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

This could have been really adult friendly brownie. But, I think that the baking time on the recipe was a typo. All other brownie recipes that I've ever tried, that called for a 9 x 9 pan to be used, have had a baking time of between 45 to 60 minutes. This recipe calls for a baking time of 35 minutes. When I took them out of the oven, they were still very gooey, but I figured they would firm up. After an hour of cooling, the middle was a raw puddle of batter. So, I put them back in the oven for another 30 mins to try to fix the mess. It didn't work. The brownies never did set up.

What a raw mess. The batter tasted good though. I'd give you the recipe, but I think I'll wait and hand it over when I've actually gotten a quality result out of it.

NEW FRIEND

2010-10-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Wanna see a pic of one of my Birthday gifts?

Isn't he cool? I've decided to name him Freddy Undeady.

One Year Old

2010-10-05T12:22:00.001-07:00

One year ago today, I gave birth to this blog. It didn't hurt a bit, but it has caused some stretch marks.

OH SO HOT AND CHERRY

2010-10-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

These tomatoes are all that's left of the blazing hot summer that I thought would never leave. The "summer of the hole" being in the bag, is a relief. I've spent the past few months putting in extra hours at work, and at home. The dreary slow down that is Fall, is a welcome respite after spending so much time in a state of puddledom. It's been a tough season, full of a lot of change in my life, some of it good, some of it traumatic, so bye-bye heat index of the damned, so long, and thanks for all the tomatoes.

The dark clouds, and the crisp mornings are already putting me in a better mood.

Let's give some more lip service to pie.

Pie somehow became the star of the dessert world. That's fine, I disagree with its stardom, but who I am I to buck hundreds of years of tradition? If I have to eat pie, I'm picky about what flavors I'm willing to spear my fork into. If I'm going to make a pie, I'm even more picky. I'll make apple pies for others, but in my eyes the only true fruit pie is cherry. The mixture of tartness and sweetness sings in your mouth. It works well with so many different toppings, cinnamon crumb, whipped cream, and is one of the few that goes well topped with chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla.

Fresh cherries can be purchased in my area, but they're inveritably Bings. No offense to the Bing variety but they make for a pie that's too sweet. A nice, even balance of sweet and tart cherries do the trick, which is why I like *whispers* canned pie filling. I know, I'm a big supporter of canned pie filling for cherry pie, with caveats. The secret to a great cherry pie, is ditch the goo. You know what I'm talking about. The goo, the gel, the so called cherry packing product. A can of "extra fruit" pie filling, mixed with a can of tart cherries in juice ensures the right flavor and the right consistency.

This particular pie was made for Mr. Icequeen's co-worker as a going away gift. This co-worker left her job, and her home state to start a new life. New beginnings can be so exciting, a chance to re-invent yourself and re-shape your world, for some it really is the final frontier.

PISTACHIO MOUSSE BROWNIE TORTE

2010-09-05T16:14:00.000-07:00

This is my birthday cake, but I didn't make it, my husband did. I can't say enough about the fudgy chocolate layers, the salty, creamy pistacho filling. Wow, this cake was delicious. But, I do have a weakness for pistachios, and pistachio pudding.....and brownies. I've posted the recipe below. Please, make this cake.

Prep Time: 1 Hr

Total Time: 2 Hr 45 Min

Makes: 16

INGREDIENTS:

Cake1box (19.5 oz) Pillsbury® Traditional Fudge Brownie Mix1/2cup CRISCO® Pure Canola Oil1/4cup water3Eggland's Best eggs Mousse1box (4-serving size) pistachio instant pudding and pie filling mix3/4cup cold whole milk1cup cold whipping (heavy) cream1/2cup pistachio nuts, coarsely choppedGlaze1/2cup whipping (heavy) cream4oz semisweet baking chocolate, finely chopped1teaspoon vanilla1teaspoon light corn syrupGarnish1/2cup whipping (heavy) cream2tablespoons powdered sugarReserved 1 tablespoon pistachio instant pudding and pie filling mix

User Rating: DIRECTIONS:

Heat oven to 350°F. Lightly spray bottom of 2 (8-inch) round cake pans with CRISCO® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray. Line bottoms of pans with cooking parchment paper; lightly spray paper with cooking spray.

In large bowl, stir brownie mix, oil, water and eggs 50 strokes with spoon. Spread half of batter (1 1/2 cups) evenly in each pan.

Bake 27 to 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from edge of pan comes out clean. Cool in pans on cooling racks 10 minutes. Run knife around edge of pans to loosen. Place cooling rack upside down on 1 pan; turn rack and pan over. Remove pan and parchment paper. Repeat with second brownie layer. Place racks with brownie layers in refrigerator to cool completely, about 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, measure 1 tablespoon of the pudding mix; reserve for garnish. In large bowl, beat remaining pudding mix, the milk and 1 cup whipping cream with electric mixer on high speed about 2 minutes or until mixture is thick and creamy. Stir in nuts. Cover; refrigerate.

Carefully cut each brownie layer horizontally in half, using long serrated knife, to make 4 layers. On serving plate, place 1 brownie layer, cut side down. Spread 1/3 of the mousse (3/4 cup) evenly to edge of brownie. Repeat layering twice, using 2 brownie layers (place cut sides down) and remaining mousse. Top with remaining brownie layer, cut side down. Refrigerate torte while making glaze.

In 1-quart saucepan, heat 1/2 cup whipping cream over medium heat, stirring occasionally, just until bubbles start to form at edge of saucepan. Remove from heat. Add chocolate; stir constantly until smooth. Stir in vanilla and corn syrup; let stand 10 minutes. Stir glaze; spoon over top of torte, allowing some to run down side. Return torte to refrigerator while making garnish.

In medium bowl, beat 1/2 cup whipping cream, the powdered sugar and reserved 1 tablespoon pudding mix on high speed until stiff peaks form. Spoon mixture into decorating bag fitted with star tip and pipe rosettes on top of torte, or spoon dollops of mixture on torte. Refrigerate at least 30 minutes before serving. Cover and refrigerate any remaining torte.

BLURG

2010-08-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

This blog is at a temporary stand still because, even though I have completed several dessert recipes, and taken pictures of them, I've been too damn lazy to post anything about them. Please stand by.

HOMEMADE CHOCOLATE PUDDING

2010-07-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

Making your own pudding is so easy, that if more people took the time to do, they would never buy pudding from their local mega mart again, and Jell-o's stock would plummet. But..... even though this particular recipe is easy, I feel the flavor needs to be tweaked a little. If you're into dark chocolate, you're going to love this pudding. Me, not so much. I know that dark chocolate is good for you, and that it's very hip to be into dark chocolate right now. But, I really don't give a shit, because I like milk chocolate. Give me the creamy, full sugar blast of milk chocolate anytime. And if saying that makes me sound less mature,and like less of a foodie, then so be it. I also have another food confession. When it comes to pudding, I actually LIKE the skin that forms on the top. Yep, I'm a weirdo, but don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

Let's talk about pudding for a minute. If you're a Generation X'er like me, then most of your pudding memories consist of Jell-o instant pudding that your mother threw together and poured into drinking glasses for consumption after dinner. Or, if your family was well off, you had pudding packs in the school lunch your mom packed for you. So there's a chance that many of us only have memories of pudding that originated from a powdered mix, which is really a shame. Because pudding you make yourself has a bold, chocolatey taste that can never be matched by anything that is shilled by Mr. Bill Cosby. If you have an extra 30 minutes on your hands, making your own pudding is completely worth it. I recommend everyone take time to smell the chocolate in life.

MY AWESOME APPLE PIE

2010-07-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

The picture turned out pretty well huh? Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

If you've read this blog before you know that I don't really get excited about pie. I think it's overrated. Especially that All-American behemoth, the apple pie. Often apple pies are made with canned, apple pie filling, meaning that you really can't tell one person's pie from another. Or you get an apple pie that is made from scratch where the crust and apples are not only overly mushy, but there is a substantial gap between where the top layer of crust ends and the filling actually begins. Even though I don't care for pie, I do care for my Father-In-Law who happens to like apple pie, and because of that caring I set out to put together my own apple pie recipe that would live up to my high dessert standards.

I've always tinkered with pre-existing recipes, and on a few occasions I've made up my own recipes, so this wasn't going to be that hard for me.

It calls for eight large apples ( 2 each Granny Smith, Braeburn, Gala and Golden Delicious). You then peel core and dice the apples. Then toss the apples with about 1/4 cup of lemon juice and 1/2 Tbs. of salt and then let the apples sit in a collander over an empty bowl that the juices can run off into.Let the apples drain for approximately one hour. Take the drained apple juice in the drainage bowl and whisk it together with two Tbs of cornstarch. Put your diced apples into a large bowl and then toss the apples with two Tbs. granulated sugar, and two Tbs. dark brown sugar. Add one cup crushed pecans, and two tsps. finely diced fresh ginger. Add apple juice and corn starch mixture to your apple mixture, stirring until mixture coats apples. Pour mixture into a store bought, bottom pie crust, level out apple mixture, and top with second pie crust. Bake at 375 for one hour.

This pie was freaking fantastic! I don't remember the last time I was so proud of something that I had made, and it had very little sugar in it to boot. You could really taste the apples, and the fresh ginger gave it a little something special. I rock.

It turned out so well the first time I made it, that I decided to make it a second time for my FIL's birthday barbecue last weekend. It was even better on the second try.

Up next....homemade chocolate pudding, and believe it or not, another pie. Cherry this time ( far superior to apple, in my opinion).

For those of you that have been asking, the hole that I previously posted pictures of has been filled in. Wanna see? Here it is.....

Muuuuuuch better. With the hole filled in, my life is back to normal, and I no longer want to burst into tears when I look at my back yard. Also, let me say that Mr. Icequeen and his dad tackled this grand project entirely on their own and did an amazing job. My husband is truly something special and I feel that he can really do anything that he becomes determined to do. Can I get a round of applause for my better half?

JEWELED COCONUT DROPS

2010-05-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

I was trying to come up with some lame excuse as to why I haven't posted for a few weeks. It was going to go something like...."Well it's hard to bake when your back yard looks like this!"

Then I realized that, since the oven isn't actually inside that monsterous hole, it's not a valid excuse. And then I thought about telling you that I've been touring some exotic locale, and that baking is now for the Commoners, and I now consider myself above all that. Lame. Then, I thought I should just come clean. I really have been baking, but I either forget to take pictures, or I don't have anything interesting to say about the dish I've made. Sometimes I can't think of anything more creative to say about a recipe than "It's good."And that can make for a short, boring entry.

I've been on vacation this week, and I've gotten a lot done. It's been moderately relaxing and of course, the baking has been nice. And the Jeweled Coconut drops are all kinds of delicious. You may have noticed that I'm doing more recipes that appeal to my pallette, and those of you who read this blog regularly know that I am passionate about coconut. For those of you born without the "coconut gene", you may want to stop reading now.

These cookies are chewy, fruity, filling and versatile.

The recipe calls for seedless raspberry jam to be used as the topping. I did make some of them using raspberry jam, but it had seeds (seedless is overrated), and since I had some peach preserves, and some cherry preserves I made a few using each one of those flavors. Why yes, we are jelly freaks at my house. We often have two to three different jelly and jam flavors in the fridge. Mostly because Mr. Icequeen has the soul of a ten year old boy, and I think he could eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day and not become sick of them. Wait. Does that make me a pedophile?

I really liked the version using the cherry preserves, and the peach wasn't too bad.

What some of you may not know is that most of the stuff that I bake for this blog doesn't stick around my home. It goes....away. We sample the final product and then the rest is given to family, friends, co-workers, etc. If I ate all of the stuff that I bake, in its entirety, then the airlines would require that I buy an extra seat when I fly. These particular cookies were given to Mr. Icequeen's co-worker, and she was generous enough to share the cookies with others in her office. The drops were a big hit. One person even said that they were "Like sex in your mouth". Hmmmm. I'm not so sure. They're good, but they're not orgasmic.

CHOCOLATE CARAMEL CLUSTERS

2010-04-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

Candy, candy, candy..I can't let you go. Are you surprised? I'm a little surprised myself. I've never been much of a candy maker, but the past couple of Christmases I've tried to step outside my comfort zone and make more candies. Usually with pretty good results. Some of you may already know that BFMHTY, doesn't contain any candy recipes. I confess, I had to get away from the cookbook for a bit. I plan on finishing that part of this project, but I don't like limiting my sugary adventures to just one set of recipes. Sooooo, why not some heart-stoppingly sweet, turtle-like candies? Why not indeed.

These candies literally took about thirty minutes to throw together, that includes set up time on the chocolate. I used chocolate bark, so that I wouldn't have to go to all the trouble of tempering chocolate (tempering is a bitch of a task, and one of the reasons I don't enjoy candymaking much). After you melt the chocolate, you throw some nuts on top, and then cover with melted caramel (yum) and more melted chocolate.

The chocolate has a strong cocoa taste, which I like. The caramel has a little heavy cream added that really adds to the richness. Overall these were very good, but if I make them again, there definitely needs to be an addition to the recipe. See, these little patties are sickeningly sweet. The sugar hit was so strong that I couldn't even eat a whole piece, luckily, Mr. Icequeen was around to scoop up the scrap I left behind. I wish that the cashews had been saltier, to balance out the sweetness of the choclate and caramel. So, I recommend topping the clusters with a sprinkling of sea salt just as the chocolate is setting up. The salt on top would also help them to look more appealing.

I'm sure you could make these same candies using white instead of milk chocolate. But, why the hell would anyone want to do that? White chocolate is satan's breast milk! Blah. It's heresy! It's not even real chocolate. It's mockalate.

Personal Note: February marked five years since my last cancer treatment, and I visited my oncologist earlier this month and he gave me the all clear. I was told that once you're cancer free for five years (as I am) that in the medical community you're considered to be "cured". Yep, he said it just like that, with the air quotes and everything. I despise my oncologist. Now, I know what you're thinking..."That man saved your life. You shouldn't hate him". Many people treated me and took wonderful care of me, but he was not one of them. He was not the one who found my tumor, he did not conduct the chemo and radiation treatments. He primarily made the whole process less bearable with the way he runs his office. Plus, he has a huge God Complex. I'm not going to tell you who he is, but he has a life size portrait of himself in his waiting room. And I hope none of you are ever in the situation where you end up getting to see that portrait. The point that I'm actually trying to make is.... Yaaaaaaaay me! Thanks to the support of my family and friends I made it through the treatments and I feel great. Also, props to my gyno, who really did save my life (Dr. Heywood, you are the greatest!) Okay, enough of that crap, this ain't no Lifetime movie.

CHEWY, CHUNKY BLONDIES

2010-04-18T04:40:00.000-07:00

Spring has definitely sprung around here. That means home projects on the horizon, that's in addition to the tending of flower beds, prepping our garden for planting, mowing. But, I hope to get in plenty of baking in between other projects. So, don't worry my darlings, I will not abandon you just because the sun has decided to return.

The onset of warmer weather will also allow me to get to a several recipes that I had been putting off because the fruit needed to make them was out of season. Fall is my favorite season, and I don't even mind the gloom of winter. Because when you're as pale as a vampire*, but without all the sexiness, Summer, frankly, sucks. Things are different this year though, I don't know if it's the happy pills or the fact that this past winter was just so damn cold, but I'm actually happy ( dont' get used to it) that the warmer weather is here.

The blondies featured here are delicious. Moist and most importantly, sweet. This recipe finally had enough sugar in it to satisfy my sweet tooth. The subtlety of the sweetness in some of the previous recipes were making me want to hang this project up, or move onto a different cookbook. After making the blondies, I'm glad that I stuck it out. The batter is nothing spectacular, but the addition of the bittersweet chocolate, butterscotch chips, coconut (all hail!), and I snuck in some milk chocolate chips too, make for a combination that sings in your food hole.

Sometimes I judge how good a recipe is by how many people ask for the recipe after they've tasted the end result. This one is definitely a winner.

*Fictional vampires are supposed to scare the hell out of you and make you afraid to go to sleep at night. They are not supposed to make you swoon and wish you were a bloodsucker yourself, or wish you had a vampire boyfriend. I'm not completely anti-Twilight/True Blood/Vampire Diaries, etc., mind you, I do think that any franchise, no matter how cheesy, is a good thing if it gets people to read who otherwise wouldn't dream of cracking open a book for pleasure. Rant complete. Icequeen out.

CHOCOLATE OATMEAL DROPS

2010-03-09T10:26:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm. This post is going to be a short one, because there isn't anything too exciting to say about these cookies, except that they are very chocolatey and have a somewhat cakey texture going for them. They're best described as a rich, sweet chocolate cookie with some oats thrown in for texture. I feel like the addition of the oats made the cookies dry and didn't really add anything worthwhile to an already dull recipe. There are better chocolate cookie recipes out there, so I say avoid this one.

Side Note: Pictures to be posted tonight.

BROWN SUGAR BUNDT CAKE

2010-02-28T16:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, Okay. I know that the picture sucks. But I'm tired, so there.

I'm starting to think that all the cake recipes in this cookbook are just variations of the same cake. The flour, sugar, butter (always two sticks, MY GAWD) and egg quantities are always the same. The only change for this particualar cake is that it calls for only light brown sugar, no granulated sugar, or for my British fan club, caster sugar.

This is more of a fruit cake, but in a good way, and the brown sugar really just takes a back seat to the pears, and the raisins and/or prunes you mix into the batter. I opted for prunes. What?! Prunes are delicious, and I feel they get a bad rap in the fruit world. The cake turned out really moist, and I didn't even bother adding the glaze I had planned on. I'm getting a little too "glaze happy" with my desserts lately anyway, so it's just as well.

The baking time on this recipe was actually spot on, at 55 minutes. I think Mr. Icequeen liked this one a little more than me. Don't get me wrong, it was good, it just wasn't anything you couldn't find at your local church social, or weekly meeting of a cake cult (please see previous posts). I do see where you could swap out the pears and/or raisins for dried cherries or even dried cranberries and this would make for a passable dish. I give it a two out of four licks of the bowl.

DULCE DE LECHE DUOS

2010-02-28T15:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't been posting many finished recipes lately because I've been a little depressed and I haven't felt much like baking, but... I'm back bitches. And I must say this is a good recipe to start off my comeback with.

These little cookies are easy to make ( I know that I say that about most of the recipes I post, but it's true).

It's really just a basic chocolate chip cookie dough, without the chips and the addition of 3/4 c. of dulce de leche. Then after baking, you fill the centers with the lefter over dulce. The cookies are soft and tasty and the filling is creamy and delicious without being too sweet. I think this is a cookie that kids would really enjoy too because it's so unfussy and easy to eat and what kid doesn't love a cookie sandwich? One with caramel no less? I mean, I would eat my old sneakers if they were slathered in caramel.

Dulce De Leche Duos

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 sticks (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature

3/4 cup store-bought dulce de leche, plus more for filling

3/4 cup (packed) light brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

2 large eggs

Getting ready: Position the racks to divide the oven into thirds and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment or silicone mats.

Whisk together flour, baking soda and salt.

Working with a stand mixer, preferably fitted with a paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat butter at medium speed until soft. Add the Dulce de Leche and both sugars and continue to beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, beating for 1 minute after each addition. Don't be concerned if the mixture looks a little curddled, it will smooth out when the flour mixture is added. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients, mixing only until they disappear into the batter.

Spoon the dough onto the baking sheets, using a heaping teaspoon of dough for each cookie and leaving 2 inches between them.

Bake the cookies for 10-12 minutes, rotating the pans from top to bottom and front to back at the midway point. The cookies should be honey brown with a light sugar crust, but they will be soft, so remove the sheets from the oven but don't touch the cookies for another minute or two. Then, using a wide metal spatula, transfer the cookies to a rack to cool to room temperature.

Repeat with the remaining dough, making sure you cool the baking sheets before spooning the dough onto them.

When the cookies are completely cool, spread the flat bottoms of half the cookies with a small amount of dulce de leche, and sandwich with the flat sides of the remaining cookies

Facebook

2010-02-14T10:57:00.000-08:00

We all know that Facebook is nothing but social masturbation anyway, but I cannot stress enough that NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FARMVILLE UPDATES! No one.

GINGERED CARROT COOKIES

2010-02-07T15:45:00.000-08:00

Don't be fooled by the look of these cookies. I know that they're ugly, but they taste really good. They have a moist crumb and the ginger flavor stands out without overwhelming the rest of the flavors. I'm sure that I'm a little biased on this one because carrot cake is one of my favorite cake flavors and these are really just carrot cakes in cookie form.

As usual, this was a really simple recipe that doesn't take much time to throw together. It has your usual carrot cake ingredients, you know, carrots, raisins ( I used golden), coconut (hail the coconut coven) and nuts. It called for pecans instead of walnuts, which is a little unusual, but the oddest thing about this recipe is that there's no cinnamon in it, I'm guessing that that's because the recipe is designed to make ginger the starring spice of this show. I didn't miss the cinnamon at all, but there was one thing that could have really amped this cookie up... a very light schmear of cream cheese frosting on the top. Those who know me know that I abhor excessive frosting, especially the supermarket bakery type, royal frosting. But I could see myself with a tub of the white stuff, dipping each cookie into it, before popping it into my mouth, like the fat American that I am.