Sugarplum's Mom

Picking Up

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Mon, 30 May 2011 15:43:00 +0000

When I was coming to the realization that my marriage was ending, I discovered that I was really lonely. I had spent the majority of the previous 14 years slowly isolating myself from my friends. When we all graduated high school and scattered to the wind, we exchanged phone numbers and addresses and promised to always keep in touch.

I came down to really only having 2 good friends, and neither of them were people I had promised to keep in touch with. It didn't bother me so much then.. I had a job, I had a young child, I had a marriage and house to distract me.

Then Facebook came along, and I re-connected with a lot of the friends I had drifted from. We've all grown and changed, but in so many ways we've stayed the same. At our core, we're all pretty much the same people. Maybe I'm naive and completely off base, but in the last year, I have really enjoyed my friends again. I have come to believe that acquaintances may come and go, but true friends will be around to pick up wherever you left off no matter how much time has passed.

Let's Try This Again...

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Sun, 29 May 2011 01:12:00 +0000

Ok, so I haven't been so great at this blogging thing. Over a year ago, I posted about a church service I went to about adversity. I still think about that service, and I would still rather be coffee.

2010 brought another year of big changes in my life. I didn't post about it, but at the end of 2009, I decided, and told my husband, that I couldn't be married to him anymore. We didn't hate each other, we just weren't right to be married to each other.

I did find a temp job that had started in February and lasted through April. After receiving an offer and asking if it was negotiable (because is was $5-8,000 lower than originally discussed) the offer was rescinded. Assholes.

I had been looking for an apartment and found one in the next town, but being without a job again was tough. I had some money saved, I had some good feedback on my resume, so in May, I took a huge gamble and moved out of the house I'd shared with my husband. Without a job. I worked a bit for a family business, and found myself a job that started on June 30th of last year. It doesn't pay enough, and I still help out the family business, but it's around the corner from where I live and it has good potential for growth.

I'm in a better school district for Sugarplum, my best friend watches her after school and my husband and I share 50/50 custody. She gets 2 days a week with each of us plus alternating weekends. It works out really well and she's thriving. The split household took a little bit of getting used to for her, but overall, she's done very well and we've remained very consistent with her schedule.

There were more changes in 2010 that I'll write more about later, but it's these events.. the job loss.. the move.. the new job.. the separation.. these stand out as some of the biggest risks I have ever taken. They are also the events that have brought me the most personal growth and for that, I will cherish them always.

I'd Rather Be Coffee

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:50:00 +0000

I started attending church again. It's been 4 weeks now. I'm going to the local UU church. I have played with Belief-o-matic more than once, and each time I've been determined to be 100% UU.

It's been a really challenging year for a variety of reasons and 2010 promises improvement, if I bring it about the necessary changes. This is one of them.

Today's service was appropriately about facing adversity. As part of the sermon, the minister told the story of The Carrot, The Egg, and the Coffee Bean. When she first posed the question of which we would rather be, I immediately thought coffee, without hearing the story.

I came home and found it posted online on several sites, so a lot of people already know this story I'm sure. I've decided that 2010 is the year for me to turn myself into coffee.

Back on the wagon

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 21:36:00 +0000

Wow... has it really been 5 months since I've posted anything? I shudder to think what that means about how full my reader is.. guess I need to get caught up in a big way.

I for one am not at all sorry to see 2009 go. It's been an awful year. We started off struggling with finances since my husband's job was cut back. We were lucky that he found a new job quickly.. but we still have some digging out of a hole to do. I also got laid off in November.. and have not been lucky enough to find another job as quickly. It's a terrible time of year to find a new job. I have a call for one on Monday, so we'll see how that goes. It's a temp position but hopefully it will pay more than unemployment.

Sugarplum is doing alright in pre-school. She started off great, but since October has had trouble. She gets sad, she misses home and mommy. The novelty of it wore off. We met with the school, she's not the first child to go through a tough transition and she won't be the last. Most days she's good when I pick her up. I'm hoping when she goes back after this holiday break she won't be in tears every morning. We'll see how it goes. So far she's been in a positive mood about it.

Here's hoping the New Year brings peace and happiness to all, and healing for those that need it.

Goodbye July

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:57:00 +0000

Au Revoir! Sayonara! Auf Wiedersehen! Do Svidanja! Don't let the door slap your ass on the way out!

The month started off with a bang. My mother suffered a serious injury and spent some time recovering at my house. Sugarplum spent two weeks at her new preschool. My husband has been cramming for tests to finish his commercial pilot certification. Work has been extra stressful for everyone, so as you can imagine, it's been a month for the record books.

I started August off on a good note though. Saturday, I took Sugarplum to a water park for playing and a picnic. She had LOTS of fun. Yesterday I got some housework done and hung out with my mom. My husband took the written portion of his test and passed.

Feeling a little more positive this morning with a few bucks in my wallet I decided to treat myself to a mocha and bagel at our cafeteria this morning... and guess what? My favorite bagel is back!

A year or so ago, my favorite bagel was replaced with an imposter. My favorite bagel was an onion bagel that had asiago cheese baked into the top of it. Not little bits of onion that give you really bad breath before meetings. It was replaced with a plain bagel with a whole lot more cheese on the top of it. This morning, my beloved onion/asiago was back. I'm choosing to take this as a good sign that August will be a much better month.

Toddler Diaries #2 - Pre-school Days #2

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:36:00 +0000

Well the week at daycare last week ended smoothly. Sugarplum made 3 little friends that she has talked about and seems to have had fun with all her little projects. Each day we collect her work from her drawer which mainly consists of various colored worksheets, rubber stamp collages and even a dinosaur fossil. I'm still not sure what material they used exactly, but it looks like a fun project and Sugarplum was very excited to show it to me.

This week they are learning about community helpers. I'm sure I'll be able to extend the lessons at home and get her to help find toys in her room to donate. I'm getting tired of it looking like Toys R Us threw up in there.

She does miss her daycare and got a chance to talk on the phone to her daycare lady this weekend. She'll be excited to go back for the month next week and hopefully we won't have too many tears when it's time to say goodbye. There will be lots of changes to visit since Oma lives next door will be surely cushion the blow.

Looking through grown up eyes, her concerns and worries are so trivial, but to her they mean the world. If I do my job right, I'll ease her mind and spirit and she'll sail through this transition with only minor bumps and swells marking the passage along the way.

Toddler Diaries #1: Pre-school Days

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:47:00 +0000

dear blogland, it's been 2+ months since my last post, please forgive me. All two of you that read this blog. :)

For the past several months, Sugarplum has struggled with the rules at daycare. She has been testing the limits and boundaries with the daycare provider and the other kids. We tried everything we could think of to no avail. We found that on days there were no other kids at daycare, or just 1 or 2, were much better days. From that, I drew the conclusion that the issue for her is not necessarily the rules or other kids, but that she views the daycare lady's home as her space, her territory, and if she doesn't want to share she doesn't think she should have to.

I've got another think coming for her.

Pre-school is on the horizon for fall and I found a school near work that I really like. Best of all, the daycare lady is on vacation this week and next week, so she gets to try it out before she goes full time in September.

Yesterday was her first day. She made an easy transition in the morning and had no problems telling us goodbye and settling in. She even made friends with another little girl. Her favorite part of the day was recess and judging by the seat of her shorts, she had lots of fun on the slide.

Each child has a cubby and work drawer that the parents collect their things from. Yesterday the drawer contained a folder of info from the school, as well as 4 or 5 worksheets Sugarplum had done. They're learning about dinosaurs and community helpers these two weeks so she had several coloring pages with dinosaurs on them.

It's bitter sweet for her dad and I. We know she needs to make the transition, we found a way to make it work out financially and with working hours, and as exciting as it is to see her blossom and grow, it's a little sad too to know that she is slowly, going to begin growing away from us.

Don't Micro-manage Me

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:14:00 +0000

Woot! Micro-Managing work harpy is NOT the shit!

So a few months ago, I finally got things changed up a bit at work and I am no longer having most of my work tasks being overseen by a micro-managing harpy. My boss was a bit concerned about whether or not I could really handle my job and how much I might have needed her oversight. I just had my focal review and low and behold, I am doing a good job and she has seen great improvement over the past couple months. She wasn't sure how the harpy filter may have been helping or huting my work. Yeah... kinda what I've been saying for the past year.

I hate that I had to struggle so much for her to listen but I'm glad she is seeing that what I've been saying is true. I work much better when I am actually given the responsibility of doing my job myself and not being questioned every 10 minutes by a micro manager about why I don't do it all HER way instead of my own.

What's even better is that now that the harpy's focus is off me, she can't toot her own horn about how she manages my work and has managed to make a couple good mistakes of her own. The evil part of me rejoices.. sometimes she needs to be taken down a peg or two and at least now my boss actually can see it for herself.

What I've learned though is that I DO NOT do well being micromanaged... so please don't... and think about it if you have employees who you feel you need to babysit all the time... maybe if you cut them a little slack, maybe they will shine rather than fail.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:09:00 +0000

Sometime during the year that I was 3 I learned about the birds and the bees. I was a curious child and I asked my mother how babies got made. I was also tenacious because I was not satisfied with a simple when-mommies-and-daddies-fall-in-love-and-get-married-they-have-babies answer. I wanted to know the mechanics. "Yes... but.. HOW??" So she explained.

Apparently that trait has rubbed off on my princess. On the way home from daycare:

Sugarplum: Mom, before babies get born and you have a baby in your tummy, how does it get there?

Me: Umm... well.. that's kinda tricky.

Sugarplum: But how?

Me: Well... when mommies and daddies are grown up and fall in love and get married, they can make babies.

Sugarplum: HOW??

Me: Well... they can cuddle up together and use their private parts

Sugarplum: Private parts? What's that?

Me: Well.. you know.. your private parts.. when you go to the potty? Your body parts that no one touches?

Sugarplum: ok.... but I want to have a baby in my tummy while I'm young

Me: No baby, your body is not ready to have a baby in your tummy.

Sugarplum: YEEESSS!!!!!

Me: No baby.. you have to be a grown up.

Sugarplum: But I want when I'm young!!

Me: Well, you'll be young for a long time baby.

Next thing you know, she'll be asking me loudly in a crowded movie theater whether or not I masturbate. Like mother, Like daughter.

Stop laughing mom.

Personal Space

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:03:00 +0000

Sugarplum sometimes has trouble respecting personal space. She wants to climb on you to get your attention. She wants to sit in your lap or stand on your legs. This is all well and good if you're her parent but not so much if you are the 10 year old at the daycare lady's house after school and you're trying to do your homework.

So they've been talking about personal space. How everyone has some and how it needs to be respected. If someone asks her to move from in front of the TV she should. If they don't want to be tackled, she should not instigate a wrestling match.

Apparently SOME part of the message is sinking in, but it's still a work in progress. She seems to understand that her space should be respected but we're still working on the do unto others part.

Yesterday morning while I was in the bathroom getting ready for work:

Sugarplum's Dad: Good Morning baby

Sugarplum: Nooooo

Sugarplum's Dad: Can't I have a snuggle?

Sugarplum: No.. this is MY personal space. Move over Daddy!

Dreams of my Father

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:22:00 +0000

When I started up this here blog, it was to chronicle life with my daugther. My thoughts, my impressions, my experiences as her mother... but when I sit down to blog something.. it all flies right out the window. I think of some funny story to tell on the way to work or home from daycare and by the time I arrive at a computer, it's gone.

I've been off for a week and am catching up on my reader thinking I should find something to write about.. and then her post saved me... and I decided to steal a previous daily writing prompt.

*******
The year that I turned 8, I lived in Germany with my father and brother. I missed my mother terribly, but I would not trade that experience and can honestly say that living in another country made for one of the best years of my life. My mother knew it would which is why she let us go. She is so wise.

Before returning home in the summer of 1986, my father became sick. My mother came to pick us up and flew home with us in late July. My father followed a couple weeks later. He was home for a few days, maybe a week or two, before being admitted to the hospital. I think he was there for about two weeks or so.

One Saturday morning in September, the phone rang. Early. It was the hospital nurse calling for my mother. She left right away. Before heading out I asked her if I could come too. "Not this time. Maybe next time." It was always the same answer. So I poured a bowl of cereal and turned on cartoons waiting for my brother to wake up and join me.

When my mother returned home, we turned off the television. She told us that she was informed when she arrived at the hospital that she was 60 seconds too late. My brother went to his room. I began to cry as the information she had just given us sunk in. She took me to the backyard and told me to pick a cloud. She told me that from that day forward, he would always be there, behind that cloud, watching over me and protecting me.

It's been 22 years since my father died. I've dreamt of him twice. Neither of them were bad dreams, but after the first one, I woke up terribly upset. I missed him. I thought about how he wouldn't be able to take pictures of me in my prom dress. He wouldn't be there for any father-daughter dances. He wouldn't be able to give me away at my wedding. He wouldn't meet his grandchild(ren).

The second time I dreamt of him, I got to visit him in our house in Germany. The best part was that I got to hug him again. He had been dead in my dream, but somehow, we were granted a visit. I don't know if it's me reaching out, if it's completely manufactured, or if it's real. But some part of me got to visit my daddy again, even if it was only in a dream. I wish he could visit more often.

Legacy - Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:22:00 +0000

10 years ago this month, two deranged teenagers walked into their school at started shooting. Accounts of the Columbine Massacre are still so disturbing to me that I want to cry. I don't understand what drives people to commit such horrible acts. Afterward, I always wondered what their parents must have been going through. What signs did they miss? How was this not prevented? How were they so out of touch with their children that they didn't know how disturbed they were? I can only imagine what kinds of questions they have asked themselves over the past 10 years. What kind of guilt or remorse they must feel for what their children did.

Then there are family members of people like Lovelle Mixon who claim that their good for nothing criminal relatives are heroes. Lovelle Mixon was an animal. He had been convicted of many crimes. He was out on parole and shot and killed 4 police officers. The only good thing to come from that incident is that he was killed to. His DNA was recently connected to the rape of a 12 year old girl. How the hell can someone like that be considered a hero by anyone?

I am amazed at how vastly different some people's priorities can be... and how some are so completely indifferent about what an incredible job it is to raise children. We mold them, we shape them, their values, their morals. How did Lovelle Mixon's parents get so far off track to raise a son capable of raping a child and then killing 4 officers? Those sworn to protect us from ourselves.

It's a huge responsibility to raise our children... one that most of us take pretty seriously. They are a reflection of us in a lot of ways. My daughter is my legacy. I want her to be good.. compassionate.. responsible.. ethical.. what will your legacy be?

Legacy - Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 20:39:00 +0000

They say you never get over the loss of a child. No matter how old that child is. I haven't experienced this and I hope I never do. I can't imagine what the pain must be. My grandmother has suffered this fate though.. twice.

I had an uncle who died before I was born. I found out as a teenager he had committed suicide. I'm not sure how I found out and that detail is unimportant.

I found out a year ago that my cousins, who are all much older than me, did not know that he committed suicide. They had just found out about it. I was shocked that their mother wouldn't have told them the truth. She let them grow up with a lie. A lie she created and kept up with. I was completely baffled.

Until I thought about it, and I realized, she was following her number one instinct as a mother. She was protecting her children. Protecting them from the questions that would inevitably come - why didn't he want to live? Why didn't he want to be with them anymore? She was protecting them from the guilt they would possibly take on.

It's common for children of divorce to feel guilty. "If I was just good enough, if I didn't get time out and if I ate my vegetables, mommy and daddy would still be together" Would these children have wondered what they did that was so bad their father chose not to live any longer?

It must have been quite a surprise to find out as an adult that the parent you lost as a child took themselves away from you on purpose... and I wonder how their few memories and ideas of their father may have been changed that day. I wonder how their feelings of their mother may have changed.

It is such a delicate dance we do as parents - striving to do a good job. Taking pride in our children's accomplishments. Working hard to mold them into kind, caring, productive people. Viewing their actions and choices as a reflection of ourselves. All of our parenting choices, the good and the bad, shape the legacy we leave that is our children. Sometimes, that legacy turns out to be something all together different from what we intended.

Why I Should Always Check the Pockets

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 20:58:00 +0000

"Something stinks in the laundry and my computer crashed!"

"OK.. I'm leaving the grocery store now, I can check the laundry when I get home. What's wrong with the computer?"

"I don't know! It crashed and I can't get it to reboot off the recovery disk and I'm supposed to leave and I don't have time for this bullshit and the clothes really stink!"

"OK.... I'll figure that out as soon as I get home"

This was the conversation my husband and I had as I was leaving the grocery store on my cell phone. I get home and stick my head in the dryer and sure enough, the clothes reek. They smell like fish. Which might not be so uncommon except that my husband doesn't like fish. So I don't cook it. I rarely feel like eating it, so if I want it, I get it at a restaurant.

I stick my head in the washer, it smells clean. So I rewash the clothes. They still smell like fish.

I run a "clean washer" bleach cycle on the washing machine. The bleachy goodness smells nice a fresh now.

I wash the clothes again. On Hot. With Stain Treat. With a Pre-Wash. With a Double Rinse.

They still smell like fish.

I search the vast intelligence of the interwebz. Powdered detergent was the only thing a fellow domestic goddess was able to use to get fish smell out of her laundry. So I go in search of powdered laundry detergent and try again.

Then my husband comes home from the gym - he's solved the mystery.

"you said the clothes smelled like fish right?"

"yeah"

"well.... I had my fish oil capsules in my pocket and didn't take them last week"

"Oh that explains it - it's your fault!" >this gives me great joy because I know I can work this into a shopping trip<

So I literally sniffed out the offending pocket and tried washing the clothes for the 5th time sans 1 pair of jeans. This was promising.. with the exception of about 3 items, the rest of the clothes smelled alright. I sniffed each and every article. A little disappointed about my foiled shopping plan, I put the clothes in the dryer.

When the cycle finished, I went out to fold the clothes to put them away. I open the door and the delightful odor of a shopping trip comes gently wafting to my nose. That's right... 5 washings and I could. not. get. the. smell. out. I had to trash the clothes. UGH. Lesson learned - I will ALWAYS double check the pockets even though 99.9999999999% of the time they are empty. My husband is usually really good about that. Most of the clothes ruined were his, but I'm not one to miss an excuse to go shopping. I'm just grateful his work clothes were not in that load.. that would have been a much more expensive trip.

Helllooooo? Anyone home?

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 04:56:00 +0000

Whoa... it's been over 3 months since I posted anything. I bet you're wondering what in the world was so important that kept me away for so long aren't you?

The answer is really disappointing - nothing much. It's been all about work and work.. and oh yeah, work. It's been a bit nuts for the last few months.

My husband's company went down in flames but thankfully he was able to find another job relatively easily. It's a temporary job for now but is very promising for hiring in another 6-8 weeks. It will even give him a raise from what he was making at that point. It's a pay cut for now, but not so severe we are in danger of losing our house or anything, but we definitely have to watch the pennies. It will be nice to lossen up a bit when he gets hired on. I really wanted to hit that 5 cent wine sale at Bevmo.

I went back to the gym. My mother enticed me to join the torture known as circuit training at the Y. It's not too bad - It's a good combination of cardio and weights and since you alternate between cardio and the next weight station every 2 minutes it keeps me from getting bored. I felt like a total wuss today though. I was on the weights following this guy who was twice as tall as me (really) and who was lifting 3-4 times as much as I was... but, I was there, and that's what really counts.

Work seems to be lightening up a bit so I'll have more time to catch up with reading the blogs I've missed and posting my scatterbrained thoughts every now and then. Just what I know you've all been waiting for.

Midnight Snacks

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:54:00 +0000

Sugarplum has really been pushing the bedtime routine. She's up, she's down, she has to go to the potty, she neds this animal or that, she wants her blanket just so, and on, and on and on.

Last night, she was angling for popcorn and both daddy and I had to tell her to get in bed, she was not getting popcorn, she already brushed her teeth.

On attempt 4,692 she came to the door with something she had to show me:

SP: Mommy, I have something to show you

Me: What? Get back in bed

SP: Here Mommy (hands me something from her empty hand)

Me: Thank you so much! Now get back in bed

SP: It's a booger

Me: Great - get back in bed

SP: Did you eat it?

Me: NO! I don't eat boogers! Get back in bed!

[husband laughing from the couch]

SP: Don't Mommy and Daddy! Don't laugh! [heavy sigh]

It's a good thing she makes me laugh as much as she does.

November ROFL

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:00:00 +0000

About 3 years ago, I participated in a weight loss forum. One of the mom's there posted a link to a blog that she found hilarious. Being curious as I am, I followed that link and was introduced to Jessica at Oh, The Joys. I read her blog religiously from that day on... and would get downright disappointed if she went too long without posting.

Eventually, Jessica inspired me to start my own blog to capture these precious memories of my own daughter growing up. Many of her posts are quite thoughtful and inspire me to want to be a better person... and then there's those that just make me giggle.

So, I've decided to award Jessica the November ROFL award for TWO posts. I couldn't decide which one made me laugh harder. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Santa's Little Gangsta's
A Matter of Minutes

Visit Oh, The Joys and Chicky Chicky Baby for more ROFL's and nominate your favorite giggles next month!

Now, if only the writing would improve...

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:02:00 +0000

I'm trying to be better about blogging.. I enjoy blogging but sometimes I get typer's block. So I'd like to thank this lovely lady for giving me a quiz and thus a post for today. Thanks!

Movie Reviews

Dreams of Gerard

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 17:05:00 +0000

I've been having weird dreams lately. The other night I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend's wife was very pregnant with their second child. (She just had their first in June) and this was to be a girl named Charlotte.

Last night, I dreamt that I was with a bunch of girls at some party with my brother and his friends. One of his friends was an english guy with long dark curly hair named Gerard Gerard. I guess his parents were not very creative with naming.

He was showing off his ab work from the gym and someone decided all the women should touch his stomach and decide if he needed harder abs or not. Like anyone with a six pack needs to have harder abs.

I decided to confuse the guy and make him hold my hand. Then I became totally relaxed and nearly fell asleep. He was completely baffled. Then my daughter woke me up.

Mother of the Year, right here, that's me

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 05:51:00 +0000

Yep... I win the Mother of the Year award for my good deeds on Sunday.

When shopping on Saturday at Tar-jay, I bought DD some strawberry applesauce. No big deal. She's had it before. It's nothing special or new. I even let her eat some on Sunday.

Before her nap.

Can you see where this is going?

When she got up from her nap, she proceeded to throw-up said applesauce on me. So we hopped in the shower and got all cleaned up where she proceeded to tell me she felt better.

Then I completely ignored her when she said her tummy hurt but that she didn't have to throw up again. So what did I do?

Whisked her out of the house to finish running errands of course. A trip to the pharmacy where I did NOT get any kind of sick kid medicine for her.

Then to the grocery store because god forbid I be stuck one more day without corn dogs in the freezer.

That's where she proceeded to yak up the rest of the applesauce. Right in front of the dairy case... and did I take her home then? Of course not. SHE insisted on finishing the shopping. Because then her stomach felt much better.

Then when we got home, since she'd already puked everything up, I granted her wish for a warm cup of milk. Yeah, that ended up on the clean couch. At least it's leather and easy to clean again.

On the upside, I wised up and gave her dry toast for dinner which she kept down and she was totally fine today. So now, I'm off to polish a spot on my bookcase for that nice new mother of the year trophy I'll be receiving any day now. I'm pretty sure I've reached some kind of parenting milestone right? Because no parenting experience can be complete without a yakking kid in the grocery store right?

Christmas Shopping Already?

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:02:00 +0000

I had every intention of attempting to participate in NaBloPoMo.. but I missed it didn't I? Ah well.. sometimes life is just too busy.

The feast is over and I'm still doing dishes. At least a majority of the pots and pans are in the dishwasher now. I'm determined to have my kitchen cleaned up just in time to have my mom, aunts, gramma and sister-in-law over to celebrate the December birthdays next weekend. Mine, my mother's and my SIL's. December is expensive for my brother.

We don't have our Christmas tree yet, but probably will in a couple weeks. I did pull out decorations yesterday and put my Christmas village up on the mantle. I also found cute indoor/outdoor pre-lit 2 foot tree's at Tar-jay... except that the indoor part is only the lights. There was no way to stand them up. I made do with a planter and a big styrofoam ball though.

We have yet to get lights on the house in spite of the fact that I've had them in the garage for 3 years now. Maybe this year..

My Christmas shopping is almost done except for two people. My mother being one of them. She always claims to only want socks. One of these years she's going to get a big empty stocking. That's a sock right?

Happy Holly-daze!!

Additions to the Family

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:21:00 +0000

NO, I'm not pregnant. But Sugarplum has expanded our family. I'm not sure why, but sometimes she picks out random people in the grocery store and proclaims that they are her new parents. Most recently it was a nice looking lady at the meat counter. She had her back turned to us so she didn't know she'd just inherited a carefree, imaginitive 3 year old.

Most recently, we went out to dinner with my mom and on the way back to mom's house she announced from the back seat that she had quite a large family.

"I have a brother and a sister and a mommy and a daddy and you and daddy"

"Really? That's quite a family. What is your brother's name?"

"Twinkle Little Bug"

"Really? Wow. What is your sister's name?"

"Twinkle Butt"

My mom and I dissolved into quiet laughter. Our attempts to contain ourselves were almost successful.. until Sugarplum started singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little BUTT!"

The things these kids come up with... I hope her imagination will always soar like that.

One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap Backward for Mankind

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:15:00 +0000

So the election is finally over. The people have cast their ballots and the first black man in the history of the United States has been elected to the office of President. This is a monumental moment in our nation's history. One that makes me proud. But this is only a small step.

Never have I witnessed the amount of racism that came running out of the woodwork during this campaign. Slogans like "Keep the whitehouse white" Allegations of Barack Obama being a muslim terrorist. Really? I thought Americans were smarter than that these days. So, while this is a really important moment, it's a small step on the way to ending racism.

In California though, we are witnessing a giant leap backward for mankind. Though it hasn't been called and there are still absentee ballots being counted, it looks as though Prop 8 is going to pass. For those that don't know, Prop 8 was a proposal on the ballot to re-write the California State constituion to say that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and will be recognized. So far with 95% of the precints reporting, it looks like a 52% vote in favor.

I have never been so disappointed in my fellow Californian's. It's one thing to morally and religiously oppose same-sex marriage. It's quite another to actually write that discrimination into the foundation of our state's laws. That's what this is. Pure and simple, discrimination. Disagree with it all you want. Don't marry someone of the same sex then. It does nothing to harm you. It is no way a threat to your heterosexual marriage. My marriage is not diminished in the slightest because my best friend's brother-in-law gets married to his partner.

The ridiculous arguments supporting this change are the same arguments that were used to outlaw inter-racial marriage too. I hope that people who voted yes on this prop have a child who turns out to be homosexual who will not have the ability to marry the person they love. I hope they can live with themselves knowing that they have denied their own children the rights they get to enjoy. I hope they agonize over that guilt of denying their children happiness. Maybe once it hits home, people will start to think about other people's happiness instead of their own personal agendas.

I am sick to be a Californian today.

The Circle

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:06:00 +0000

I read a few blogs. I wake up with them and my first cup of coffee most mornings when I get to my desk at work. Shh.. don't tell my boss. Not on really busy days of course. Ahem.

Today, I read this post from a blogger I don't often read. She reminded me of my great grammy.

I met my great grammy once in a nursing home on a trip to Pennsylvania when she was 98 and I was about 10. She was my paternal grandfather's mother and the only one of my great grandparents still alive. I don't think she knew who any of us were. We explained who we were and I saw her searching her memories for distant visions of the past. Recognizable, but faded and just out of reach. Two people became one and separate events were intertwined and mingled like tendrils of new spring plants. Searching and winding their way around the deepest reaches of her mind.

She knew she had children, she remembered one son and one daughter. My grandfather also had a brother. She knew my grandfather, but called him by his sister's name. In that moment I saw in my grandfather's eyes a sadness and loss that I did not at the time understand. His family never got along well with each other, none of them, but in that moment, he became a child yearning for his mother's affections.

My great grammy was wearing a watch. We asked her if she knew what time it was. I understand she had quite the quick wit in her younger days and would show us her watch and ask if we could see. Then she stared at the face for a few minutes and pronounced it 8:15 in the morning. It was 2:00 in the afternoon but her watch had stopped and she was only about 5 minutes off.

In the next room, bingo was being played and she started repeating the callers. I-23. N-42. 0-65. BINGO! We took her to a table and made our quiet exit. Her connection with us was over and she was focused on something else.

I learned then, but didn't understand, that life truly is a circle. We enter this world not knowing, not understanding, not capable. Many of us become infants all over again. Helpless and reliant on those around us. Some are cast aside and forgotten and some are taken far too soon.

A Mother's Soul

noreply@blogger.com (Sugarplum's Mom) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:36:00 +0000

I'm fascinated by Psychology. I took an abnormal psych class in college and loved it. I studied Schizophrenia for my final term paper and am always truly fascinated by what makes people tick.

I'd like to think I'm a good friend and a good listener and occasionally I even give advice to those discussing their problems with me. I give much better advice than I take.

The hard part of providing that kind of friendship is that sometimes I get too emotionally invested. That's not a bad thing where friends and family are concerned, but it's really difficult to separate myself from other hard stories that I read in the news or on blogs. Today I was moved to tears reading about her mother.

3 years, 5 months, and 2 days ago, I gave birth to my Sugarplum. She is my light, my heart's every happiness, my conscience, my soul. Just like her, my daughter is part of me. I can't ever imagine living apart from her. As a mother, I can't fathom turning my back on her leaving her to wonder why her mommy isn't there. These stories break my heart and they're the reason I don't think I could ever be a therapist.