tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:18:43 +0000Serving the public need for obvious jokes, maudlin sentimentality, and self-righteous claptrap, since 1957. <br> (Also, this is where the phrase 'crotch taffy' originated!)<br>http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/suldog@aol.com (Suldog)Blogger732125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-7203517571791415253Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:50:00 +00002009-11-20T08:50:00.249-05:00fris‧son / Pronunciation [free-sohn; Fr. free-sawn]a sudden, passing sensation of excitement; a shudder of emotion; thrill.(Random House Unabridged Dictionary, 2006)Let me tell you about the holiday I like best of all – Thanksgiving.(Or, really, tell you again. This is a repeat from last year [and probably the year before that, too] but I like it and I don't have anything better to say concerninghttp://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/best-day-of-year.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-4968718159906450101Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:34:00 +00002009-11-18T10:35:10.362-05:00I have a few shoeboxes at home full of old photographs. I often go through them, looking for something that will spur a memory for a story, and while I was searching for some Christmas photographs, I...Well, I think I have to face the truth (and, with a face like mine, the truth had better look out.) I am some kind of goofy bastard. At least, if these 15 photographs were the only evidence http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/15-goofy-photos.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-1313819823916001933Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:38:00 +00002009-11-16T09:56:32.183-05:00[Got the cat HERE.]If you’ve been coming here for any considerable length of time, then you know how I feel concerning the talent of Magazine Man. Even if you’re new here, all you have to do is take a look at my sidebar. I have a link to his blog, and it’s the first link to something other than my own backlog. And the link is listed under the header "The BEST Writer On The Internet." I’m prone tohttp://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/in-which-i-am-honored-to-be-allowed-to.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-1726654518816146304Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:17:00 +00002009-11-13T09:18:19.066-05:00Once upon a time, there was a boy named Poindexter.(I know some of you find this hard to believe, in a day and age when every boy is named Jason, but it's true.)Poindexter lived in Utah, in a big house made out of green jello.One day, a scary clown knocked on Poindexter's door.(It wasn't so much a knock as it was a shplooge, which is the sound you make when you bang your fist against green jello http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/poindexter-scary-clown.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-420986964310782525Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:59:00 +00002009-11-11T10:10:15.776-05:00Old factory buildings, their cracked and dirty windows the ancient eyes of progress dormant; rail spurs grown over with weeds where steel wheels once carried precious cargo; a sun-beaten loading dock, hangout now for indolent juvenile delinquent pigeons, but formerly where fathers and grandfathers dripped sweat while dreaming of something better for their children.Across the potholed street, a http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/scene-of-crime.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-6846528631558138774Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:26:00 +00002009-11-10T08:26:54.150-05:00Aghhh! It's a bug!Oh, wait a minute! I know this bug! Let me introduce you!Many of you have enjoyed my swell pal Donatello's musings on a variety of subjects. For instance...How To Acquire A Free GrillHis 15 Favorite RecordingsHis 15 Favorite BooksThe EconomyMaking Cheap Tuna SandwichesFarting (which may occur in conjunction with the cheap tuna sandwiches - just a little truth in advertising - http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/for-your-kind-consideration.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-5518722446976218994Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:46:00 +00002009-11-16T12:56:39.864-05:00(If you don't like methamphetamine, go to the place from which I stole this cartoon. They could use your help, I'm sure. If you like methamphetamine, I stole this cartoon from a place that's trying to wipe out your buzz.)Pleasurable housekeeping time. I need to acknowledge some folks who did their bit in connection with THANKSGIVING COMES FIRST.Here are the folks who posted TCF pieces since the http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/thanksgiving-comes-first-addendum.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-8860133754719411702Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:08:00 +00002009-11-05T09:34:44.387-05:00Here are my 15 recordings.Unlike my swell pal, Donatello - whose 15 Recordings were published in this space yesterday - I have little formal musical training. Everything I know about the instruments I play, I pretty much taught myself. I learned from watching others, by picking up an occasional book - that's how I learned to read music, haltingly, like a first-grader trying to read Middle Englishhttp://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/15-recordings-my-choices.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-8053737301870048995Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:45:00 +00002009-11-04T12:14:04.636-05:00OK. Last week, I promised you a different take on the "15 Books" postings that Donatello and I did. Here it is.15 Recordings.Now, I suppose if you're of a bizarre twist of mind, it could be 15 recordings of wild birds, washing machines, and dogs barking. Or, if you're with the FBI, maybe your 15 favorite wire-tapped telephone conversations. What Donatello has in mind, however (and it is his http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/15-recordings-as-chosen-by-donatello.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-3026132021398378233Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:34:00 +00002009-11-02T10:33:33.141-05:00"In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." – Andy WarholI am such a crack ho of a blogger. Much as a cheap prostitute will give up the goods in exchange for that to which she is addicted, I will mention you in my blog, and give you the link love, any time you feed my need for an ego boost. Case in point? Dollar Bill’s Discount World.You may remember me mentioning Dollar Bill’s http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/11/hey-guys-wanna-party-you-look-like-you.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-2117999975901456724Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:27:00 +00002009-10-30T08:30:53.073-04:00You may remember this entry from a short while back. In it, I listed 15 books that I loved, or that changed my life, or that you never heard of before and wished to hell I'd quit blathering on about them.Well, now it's Donatello's turn.You'll remember Donatello from this, this, this, and perhaps most especially this. I think he's a wonderful writer in his own right. He should have a blog of his http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/15-books-donatello-version.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-8894037078739687772Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:08:00 +00002009-10-27T11:08:43.541-04:00When I was very young, there was a fundraising campaign at our school. The charity was The March Of Dimes. They had started out as an organization whose goal was to eradicate polio, and polio was now pretty much beaten. Since they had nothing better to do, they switched gears and were now aiming at birth defects. And they handed out some little informational cards to all of us children.On the http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/please-lend-hand.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-3408245072494339618Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:14:00 +00002009-10-27T12:03:12.338-04:00[Image stolen from Canada.com]Is there something in the water up there? I keep warning people: DO NOT GIVE ME ANY MORE AWARDS! And then some Canadian dope (or is that redundant?) goes ahead and gives me one. Jazz (apparently not the brightest bulb in the chandelier) gave me this:As you can see, it's called the "Over The Top" award. For a dimwit, Jazz showed great perspicacity. Despite how my http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/canuck-gives-me-award-eh.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-4130689760910593786Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:45:00 +00002009-10-22T10:30:11.965-04:00MY WIFE and I went on vacation last week. I don’t have any amazing stories to tell, but there were some interesting and nice happenings. I’ll tell you a bit about those, if you don't mind.Our first stop was Salem, New Hampshire. Not that the place is a hideous rattrap, but this is not a city usually given as a tourist destination. So, why were we in Salem? We were in Salem because Dollar Bill (http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/vacation.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-546846550132499138Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:30:00 +00002009-10-20T08:30:00.926-04:00A couple of weeks ago, Knucklehead and I told the tale of the Yankees and Red Sox, in 1978, playing a one-game playoff for the American League East title. My piece was entitled "The Agony", while his was called "The Ecstasy". That was because those bastard Yankees won that meeting, while my beloved Red Sox lost. This time around, my piece is entitled "The Ecstasy", while his is "The Agony". That http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/ecstasy.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-5592458495430016349Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:45:00 +00002009-10-09T08:45:00.304-04:00Well, I'm off! You knew that, though, so let me tell you something you didn't know.I'm leaving. MY WIFE and I will be on vacation for 9 or 10 days. Therefore, if you ever had any plans for breaking into our house, now is the time to do so. If you rob us, would you please take the boa constrictor? He's been nothing but trouble ever since he got to be 12 feet long. Now that he's reached 17-http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/thanksgiving-comes-first-thanks-to-you.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-5182463355426346144Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:28:00 +00002009-10-08T10:54:59.000-04:00My geography is city.I love a soft rain hitting city streets, mingling with dust of concrete, dirt washed from tall buildings, and sand in the gutters leftover from ancient snowplowing, creating a subtle and pleasant fragrance available only in an urban center.I enjoy the smell of asphalt while it's being laid, and then again during intense heat, giving off its tarry aroma for benefit of those http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/city.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-2954197264448168395Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:35:00 +00002009-10-05T09:35:36.249-04:00About a week ago, I was attacked by two foreign powers. Normally, being an American and having a hair trigger when it comes to such things, I might have retaliated with ridiculously overblown force. I just got back from the dentist, however, and he gave me a prescription for Oxycodone. I filled the prescription, and then filled myself with a handful of happy pills, so I am currently not in a moodhttp://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/10-things.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-3797856662676376520Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:00:00 +00002009-10-02T07:00:04.168-04:00As you read this, I am at the dentist. I am getting my gums sliced open and my lower jawbone drilled into. The history you are about to read was only slightly less painful.(For the opposite viewpoint - that is, if you'd like to read someone who found this hideous thing pleasurable - please go to Knucklehead.)October 2nd, 1978, ranks right up there as one of the most heinous days in my personal http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/10/agony.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-4805902734964972267Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:51:00 +00002009-09-28T12:51:42.730-04:00As in past years, I was going to post this sometime in October. I can't wait, though, as retailers are putting Christmas merchandise on the shelves NOW. In September.It was bad enough when they encroached on Thanksgiving. Now it's happening before October.I'm just this side of going postal.I am seriously giving thought to destroying the next retail Christmas display I see. I mean it. Words just http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/09/thanksgiving-comes-first_28.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-7235981715795424036Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:52:00 +00002009-09-28T09:07:26.444-04:00Last week, I showered you with unspeakable filth. I figure you deserve something just plain fun; something entirely non-offensive and totally devoid of obscenity. Thus, you get this; some stuff with which even the most prudish maiden aunt could not take offense. Wednesday I'll be back in the gutter, so enjoy it while you're able.First, here's a photo stolen from The Metro.It's a dog named Sully. http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/09/good-clean-wholesome-fun.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-2014814389602863028Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:22:00 +00002009-09-24T10:23:02.752-04:00There are coming of age stories. This is a cumming of age story.(If you have any sort of brains – and I give my readers credit for having the biggest brains on the planet, which means you’ll all be in deep doo-doo when the zombies arrive – then you’ll be on your toes for a quick getaway. Some of you will find the following deeply disturbing, radically gross, and entirely too much information. On http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-i-learned-in-high-school.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-3961415449097178430Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:59:00 +00002009-09-17T10:00:51.329-04:00My Cousins - Joey, David, and Joan (Joey's sister) - are in the foreground with Pa, our Grandfather Sullivan. I'm the one in the suit. Before he died from the drug overdose (see HERE, if need be) my Cousin Joey started writing the story of his life. He wrote it when he was allowed access to a computer while in jail. What follows is the largest chunk of it I have available to reproduce.Joan, Joey,http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/09/chicken-coop-by-joe-bucci.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-5742672842280406113Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:39:00 +00002009-09-16T08:39:48.807-04:00Today is the third anniversary of my Cousin Joey's death. When he died, I wrote about his passing. I am re-publishing what I wrote at the time. I have some misgivings about doing so.I'm somewhat of the thought that putting these words out here again is self-serving. It's raw stuff - some of which makes me uncomfortable in the re-reading - and the urgency I felt then is obviously not present threehttp://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/09/three-years-after.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15329973.post-1933655364496438926Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:25:00 +00002009-09-08T10:26:29.988-04:00I have nothing I feel needs to be written about.Sure, I could tell you all about how my hip hurts, my knees hurt, my shoulder is a bit sore, and when I twist my neck a certain way it sounds like the breaking-up room at a peanut brittle factory, but who wants to hear that sort of whining? Besides, if I publish stuff like that, that just gives MY WIFE another chance to say, "You know, I hear tell http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/2009/09/dry-well.htmlsuldog@aol.com (Suldog)49