Sulilo

Perfect, Whole, and Complete

2012-03-30T18:37:00.003-07:00

One of my yoga teachers says the following phrase to us toward the end of class when we are deep in Savasana:

"You are perfect, whole, and complete - just the way you are, and just the way you are not."

I hadn't been to her class in a while, so it was a refreshing reminder to hear these kind words. So much so, that I printed it up in a pretty purple font with a purple sun and hung it in the lady's room at work (after consulting with my only other female colleague, of course).

We both talked for a moment about how important it is to see, read, and speak these truths to ourselves. Most of the time, we are talking to ourselves in such a way that we would never tolerate if anyone else spoke to us that way. We are quick to notice and judge ourselves for our shortcomings and mistakes, but are we as quick to acknowledge all of the things that we do right and what a blessing we are to others each day?

Perhaps there are some words that lift, encourage, and remind you of the amazing being that you are underneath all of the "stuff" and labels that we live with every day. Consider taping up a sign somewhere where you'll see it frequently, and consider talking more kindly to yourself.

Namaste.

Every 7 Years, We are "Made New"

2012-03-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

I'm not suggesting that you need to wait until you are 35 to experience something like this, nor that if you are later in life that it's too late. It's not. We can, at any moment, begin to change our thoughts, make different choices, and begin honoring ourselves. We can begin to truly acknowledge how fortunate we really are, despite any past or present pains....despite the fact that life is not perfect, and while we'd like to be happy "all the time," this world is truly a mix of magic and tragic, and we are blessed to be alive and to experience all of it.

Yesterday I celebrated 35 years on the planet. For more than one reason, I truly feel like a "new" person. To begin with, let's say I'm fortunate enough to live at least until the ripe old age of 70. You could say I am on the cusp of my official mid-life reflection (I don't need a crisis, thank you!). I've realized that the first 35 years of my life are now the past. I release that time of my life. It's a powerful experience, to say the least.

I release childhood traumas and the crazy relationships and decisions of my twenties. I finally feel as if I am coming into my own as a woman, focusing on my writing, and making choices (such as returning to vegetarianism, eliminating aspartame and artificial ingredients from my diet, and honoring myself when it comes to boundaries) that are in alignment with the core of my being. I am honoring myself.

In addition to the emotional and spiritual shifts that occur at 35, there is something pretty amazing going on for all of us on a physical level at age 35 (and 7, 14, 21, 28, 42, 49...). I once heard that at these intervals, human beings get entirely new cells -- we are made physically new every 7 years for our entire lives. I did some research, and science seems to support this information.

According to Nicolas Wade, a science writer for The New York Times, Dr. Jonas Frisen, a stem cell biologist at Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden developed a method of determining the actual age of human cells. In his research, he discovered that the reason that most people act/behave in accordance with their actual birth age - their years on the plant - is because some cells remain the same from birth and throughout life; however, the rest of our cells are renewed about every 7 years. So, it's no wonder that we may feel a physical "newness" at those intervals.

What age are you at now? How many 7 year cell renewal cycles have you experienced so far? Was there a certain age when you began to really evaluate your life and make new, conscious decisions about how to live it?

Namaste.

PS Be sure to enter the Sulilo.com 10k celebration - it's easy to win some great prizes! Click here to enter.

Ask Someone's Story | Caring for Each Other in Mindfulness

2012-03-02T14:59:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting experience at the post office this morning. I was stopping in on my way to work to mail a package and some cards. There were two people ahead of me and another woman off to the side filling out a form. As I was about to be the next person in line, I keep looking over at the woman filling out the form, hoping she wouldn't be done before it was my turn. I wanted to be next.

Well, she did finish filling out her form, and then she looked to me, and said, "You go ahead. Please." I asked if she was sure. I told her I was on my way to work and that I thought she must be too. In my first impression, the initial scan that we all subconsciously do when we meet someone, I summed her up: late 50s or early 60s, dressed up nicely and probably well-to-do (I was at a post office in an affluent neighborhood on my way to work, so I assumed she was affluent -- even though I'm not and I was also conducting business there.)

Oh, no," she said, looking a bit downcast, "I haven't worked in a long time. I've been looking, but I haven't been able to find anything."

Something shifted within me, instantly, I was aware of all of the judgments I'd made about this woman in literally a few seconds. I was all ready to feel inferior and to have an awkward moment with her about who would go next in line (so trivial, I know, but think about how many minutes in our day are taken up by these kinds of circumstances and thinking)...My heart softened instead.

I could feel my face and posture changing to that of a more compassionate, receptive person. In my heart, I felt urged to make that moment matter and to let her know that SHE matters.

I asked her what kind of work she does or would like to do. She told me that she used to be an office manager and enjoys administrative assistant work, but that she's been a stay-at-home caretaker to her elderly mom for the past nine years, and her mother had just passed away. She also shared that she was at the post office because, not only could she no longer afford to pay the rental fee on her PO BOX, but she also needed the deposit back on the key. Imagine how humbled I was in that moment.

We talked a bit more. She told me that she thinks that she isn't getting responses from jobs because her last job listed on her resume is from nine years ago. I encouraged her to go home and update her resume right away. Being that I am sometimes hired by clients to revamp or create a resume, I felt in a position to give her some advice. I suggested that she list herself as a "Professional Caregiver" for that nine year period and to list all of the skills, abilities, and tasks that made up her days for the past nine years. I told her that all that effort and hard work counts. I told her that what she did matters, and that SHE matters. She thanked me. I told her not to give up hope. She responded, "I was about to. Thank you for your kindness. God Bless You."

She's been on my heart all day.

Remember, a stranger is only "strange" until you know her story. Then, she's just as human, vulnerable, and important as you.

Namaste.

Sulilo 10k Views Celebration Giveaway!

2012-02-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

I am so excited to share with you my joy in reaching 10,000 page views at Sulilo.com. This blog is truly an extension of myself. I rarely hold anything back and wear my heart on my sleeve, all with the hope that one person, every now and then, gleams some hope, insight, motivation, or compassion from my writing. This makes it all worthwhile.

From the comments I receive from time-to-time, I know that my intention is being honored by the Universe, and that for every person who chooses to comment, there are many others who have read and felt something but didn't necessarily feel like leaving a comment. I am thankful for all of you.

The journey continues...

To celebrate this milestone, I have reached out to several companies and individuals whose products, services, and talents I adore, and I've asked them to be a part of my 10K Giveaway.

I hold the following sponsors near and dear to my heart for reasons I will outline. Please be sure to visit their websites and check out what they have to offer. I think you will be delighted and blessed by their offerings.

If you would like the opportunity to share in my joy by winning one of the items below, all you have to do is:

Subscribe to Sulilo.com - In the upper right corner of this blog, you'll see a space for you to submit your email address. Just do so, and when the email comes to you confirming you subscription, please confirm. Be sure to check your spam filters if you do not receive the confirmation with 24 hours.
If you have Facebook and/or Twitter, please kindly follow the sponsors whose prizes you hope to win. You can even let them know that Sulilo.com sent you!
Lastly, please leave a brief comment under this post indicating which prizes you are interested in. You can also say why, if you'd like.

That's all there is to it. Good luck, and let's celebrate!

Prize # 1: Living Your Yoga by Judith Hanson Lasater, Ph.D., P.T.

Click HERE now to order a copy of
Living Your Yoga by Judith Hanson Lasater
from Rodmell Press

If you're curious about what it means to take your yoga practice to the next level and live a yogic life outside of class, this book is for you. My spirit began to feel compelled to take the lessons I learned on the yoga mat out into the world. This book reveals powerful insights on how to go about this. It is life changing for the individual who makes this choice and all of the people she or he comes into contact with. I am thankful to Judith Hanson Lasater and Rodmell Press for their generous donation of a copy of this book that will change your life.

For more information:

Order a copy of the book
Judith Hanson Lasater
Rodmell Press (website) Facebook, Twitter

Prize #2: Subscription to Daily Word by Unity

Click HERE to subscribe to
Unity's Daily Word

Daily Word offers inspiration and practical teachings to help people of all faiths live healthy, prosperous and meaningful lives. Daily Word magazine includes two months of daily affirmative messages, feature articles and spiritual poetry.

What I love about Daily Word from Unity is that the organization's intention is to love and celebrate life with all people, from all walks of life. There is no exclusion. Their metaphysical interpretation of biblical verses is also something that I find fascinating. When I read the Daily Word, I feel inspired and encouraged - never judged or as if I must conform to a single belief system in order to gain wisdom, comfort, and insight from what they have to offer. One lucky Sulilo winner will win a YEAR's subscription to Daily Word!

Subscribe to Daily Word Magazine
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Prize #3: A Coupon for a free 6-pack of Zevia Soda

Get some Zevia

I was a soda addict. Even though it often tasted bitter to me, I couldn't get enough of the leading diet sodas. At one point, I realized I was drinking several cans a day of a beverage that contained ingredients that I wasn't totally clear on. When I began to do some research on aspartame, I realized that I could no longer subject my body and mind to the chemical. I began a quest for an all natural, calorie-free soda. I wasn't sure that one existed. I tweeted out my mission to find such a drink, and a friend wrote back, "Check out Zevia." I'm glad she did. Zevia is sweetened with a natural plant extract called stevia and is all natural. I feel so good about having made this switch and am a true cheerleader for the product anytime I see someone drinking a chemical laden soda!

Another fun fact...I came across this Zevia blog post, which claimed that you could take any box of cake mix, add one can of soda and then mix together and bake as directed. The results: absolutely delicious. Click here to read my blog that covers my test of this recipe.

Visit Zevia's Website
Facebook, Twitter

From Zevia:

Zevia is very active with our social media, always doing contests, giveaways, and just chatting with our fans!

When sampling Zevia keep it cold! We always say cool is not cold enough! We recommend that you drink it out of the can. It gets warm and flat in a cup!

Prize #4: A Custom Made Greeting Card by Cards By Haley

One of a kind greeting cards by
Cards By Haley

I met Haley on twitter (@CardsbyHaley). When I found out that she made custom, one-of-a-kind greeting cards, I was intrigued. Send her an email and let her know what kind of card you'd like to have made...who it's for...something special about them, and she will whip up a masterpiece that is a beautiful gift in and of itself.

Haley is generously donating her time and materials to create one custom greeting card for a lucky Sulilo winner.

Here are some of the beautiful cards I recently ordered from her:

Cards By Haley

Prize #5: A Beautiful Print from Artist Jeremiah Ketner

From the moment I saw artist Jeremiah Ketner's work, I was mesmerized. His paintings transport me to a beautiful place where colorful, fairy-like creatures express their divinity in countless ways. You may have seen his mural work featured at Nordstroms, or you may have read my blog post about some of my favorite paintings by this very talented artist.

One of my favorite paintings by Jeremiah Ketner: "Hiding Place"

Jeremiah is generously donating a small print of one of his beautiful paintings (his choice) to a lucky winner. You can view his online store by clicking HERE.

Facebook, Twitter

Prize #6: A Gorgeous Print from Miami Photographer AJ

Years ago, I had the opportunity to visit Southern Florida. I fell in love with Fort Lauderdale and Miami. Though I have not yet physically returned to that area, I have, on a number of occasions, revisited it in my dreams. Florida is written on my heart in a sacred way. I'm sure this is why I was drawn to the photography of Miami-based freelance photographer, Anthony Jordon, Jr.

This is one of my favorite images of Miami, taken by
Anthony Jordon, Jr.

Antony Jordon (AJ) is generously donating one print (of his choice) to a lucky Sulilo reader. See more of his work here.

Facebook, Twitter

Prize #7: A Subscription to Your Beauty Industry Magazine (YBI)
Sponsor added this prize on 3/5/2012

I absolutely love celebrity makeup artist Debra Macki. She is beyond talented, passionate, and genuinely loves to get up in the morning to do her work. She inspires me. This magazine, Your Beauty Industry (YBI) features her work, along with that of other talented artists, stylists, photographers, and more. If you love makeup, want to be a makeup artist, or want to draw inspiration from tips and tutorials, go for this prize.

Facebook, Twitter

Debra Macki: Facebook, Twitter

And there you have it. Thank you for sharing in this joy with me. Winners will be contacted via email (which I will have once you subscribe).

There is much more to come at Sulilo.com. Thank you so very much for sharing in this journey with me.

Namaste,

Debbie aka Sulilo

Children Understand More Than You Think

2012-02-22T16:07:00.002-08:00

Last night, I was watching my TiVo'd episode of "The Voice" on NBC. I was moved to tears when I saw the very young brother of a contestant rooting for his sister. He must have been about 9 or 10, and she around 30. When his sister was selected for the show, the boy became so excited and happy for her that he clung to his mother as his eyes welled up with tears of joy. It was so moving to see.

"Tears of Joy" image courtesy of MoLifa

I flashed back to when I was about 5 years old. I was in kindergarten. Because the relationship between my parents was tumultuous, this was one of those years where I wasn't sure if my Dad would show up on Christmas...but he did. I was so excited to see that, by the big, lit up Christmas tree, my father, who I loved dearly at that age, was sitting there holding a present for me. I opened it up, and it was the "It's a Small World" book and tape. I remember feeling so touched. I somehow knew that my parents didn't have much money for gifts, and they knew how desperately I loved this Disney song and story.

That is the first time that my eyes welled up and I cried tears of joy. My Dad asked if I was ok. I just said, "Thank you Daddy," and wrapped my arms around him. I carried that plastic resealable pouch with the book and tape EVERYWHERE with me. I even brought it to "show and tell."

One time, after class, the teacher told my mother how the morning kindergartners really enjoyed the story and tape. My mother offered it out to her to borrow for her afternoon class. She didn't ask me. I cried and remember going into hysterics. My teacher, Mrs. DiFiori, kept asking my mom, "Are you sure?" They had no idea why this gift held so much significance for me, and how I felt like a precious part of me was being taken away, and neither of them really seemed to care much. I never forgot it.

Thirty years later, and I remember, clear as this monitor is before me, both the event where I was filled with joy at the thoughtful gift I received and the devastation I felt when I was ignored, invalidated, and not consulted when something so precious to me was involved.

Please be gentle, kind, careful, and loving with and around your and others' children. Do not assume that because a child is very young that he or she doesn't really "get" or understand what is happening -- that the child won't remember. Some things get written on our hearts and souls and remembered for decades after.

When you have the enormous responsibility and honor of spending time with a child, behave as if everything you say and do matters...because it does.

I couldn't believe it, but I found something
very similar to what I had on ebay just now.

Namaste.

When we dim our Light for others...

2012-02-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

I found myself awake yet another night...tossing and turning and staring at the clock. It was past midnight. I know that I should stop consuming so much television coverage on Whitney Houston - especially before bed. I looked within to find a reason why I may be engrossing in the subject and in this tragic loss so much.

As noted in a previous post, I loved Whitney Houston as a music artist. I posted this about her on Twitter today after watching her 2009 interview with Oprah Winfrey last night:

"@hollyrpeete Holly, after I watched @Oprah's interview with #Whitney last night, I realized something. Her light shined SO brightly...she channeled her voice from the highest heavenly place. Any time God calls someone forward like that, darkness/the enemy/the devil/dark forces -- whatever you want to call them...will try any and everything to take that person down and destroy them. My heart broke when she talked about even when she was lacing her joints with cocaine, she was still reading her bible and praying hard...Even though she was succumbing to the temptation of the temporary relief of drugs and alcohol, she always, as she said, had that fight in her. I believe it was a spiritual battle up until the very end."

Whitney Houston Shining Her Light

Whitney Houston revealed in her interview with Oprah that she was a victim of domestic violence and emotional abuse in her own home. This powerful, amazing singer with a gift straight from God was trying to "dim her light," as Oprah put it, in order to please her husband and tend to his jealousy of her power and success.

I thought of someone in my life...someone I care about very much. She, too, is someone who could be a powerful force, yet she is choosing to be in relationship with someone who hurts her verbally, emotionally, physically, and dare I say, beyond that.

Other family members and I recently helped her to leave this abusive person. She was getting stronger. She found another place to live and sounded in good spirits, though she frequently mentioned being afraid of him finding her. That's why we were all shocked when she agreed to meet up with him to "exchange some belongings." He wooed her right back into his web of deception, and the cycle of domestic violence begins again with the honeymoon stage. They are together again. I asked her if she is with him against her will. She denies this.

I have been feeling sad and helpless from the sidelines. I have lost sleep and peace. I had to decide that I must not let this situation and this person's choice continue to rob me of my joy and to affect my health. I must not believe that I can be her savior. I was thinking about all that she had been through in her life, from the time she was a child. I discussed it with my boyfriend, who responded,

"You can't go back in time and change all that..." and "she's not ready." I will continue to love her, but I am implementing boundaries that protect my heart and my life as well. I have taken a hiatus from speaking with her. She doesn't seem to mind. I guess she's too busy listening to his promises again.

Hearing Whitney's story reminded me of this person. She could also be such a light for good. She has the desire and the ability...God, please give her the strength.

Namaste

Domestic Violence Resources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

National Coalition Against Dometsic Violence

Addiction and Substance Abuse Help:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration:
"Confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing substance abuse and mental health issues:" 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Suicide Prevention Help:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273- TALK (8255)

I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston

2012-02-13T19:53:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday night, I was a passenger in my boyfriend's car. We were heading back home from a day of (mostly) window shopping. We got some exercise, had some good food, and enjoyed the sun. As usual, while in the car, I checked my Twitter feed.

When I saw a tweet that included "RIP Whitney Houston," I hoped that it was just some sicko's idea of a joke. But, as I scrolled through my timeline and saw trusted tweeters, both commoners like me and big celebs like Mariah Carey, all sending out distraught tweets about Whitney, my heart sunk.

At only 48 years old, the beautiful soul with a heavenly voice, Whitney Houston, was silenced. Although we will forever have her amazing recordings, she will never sing again on this plane.

Millions of us, when we heard the news, flashed back to memories from the 80s and 90s when Whitney's voice was one of the soundtracks of our lives. Many of us then rushed to watch coverage on CNN. We tweeted our sorrows and disbelief and congregated at YouTube to watch her videos, still in shock and numbed by what had happened. Whitney Houston was dead.

I started to think about how she was only 48 and felt surprised, as I thought she was a bit older. I guess the anguish and pain of the last decade of her life showed itself upon her physical body, causing her temple to look a little bit older than it really was.

I then thought back to when I was a young girl. I am old enough to remember her very first hits, including "Didn't We Almost Have It All?" and then her upbeat releases like "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" and "How Will I Know?"

I could see vividly in my mind's eye the cassette cover of a vibrant Whitney with long, curly extensions, a beautiful smile, and a playful pose. As the mind works, one thought leads to another in an amazing, interconnected way.

Suddenly, I was channeling my 8 year old self, listening to Whitney for the first time. I thought about how life was back then. It was a very nostalgic experience.

I then remembered other Whitney milestones, like watching "The Bodyguard" with my sisters in the group home I lived at as a teen and how we would play the soundtrack over and over until we knew ever word, every nuance.

Perhaps you experienced something similar, recalling memories from your past that are tied in with Whitney's music or movie roles.

The album cover that came to mind...

Perhaps you also connect with and acknowledge the significance of a highly publicized passing. Losing an icon from our childhood inevitably strikes a nerve: we are reminded that nothing lasts forever and that we are all mortal. We, too, shall die one day...and we don't know when or how.

I don't bring this up to create fear. I do it because I hope that we will all move through this experience noticing how precious and fleeting life is. I hope that we acknowledge those we love and that we begin pursuing our dreams, because as we've seen with so many others in our lives, and now Whitney, not one among us is promised another day.

I sign off this post with one of my favorite Whitney songs. I posed it on my Facebook page the other day, and someone from the new generation was introduced to it for the first time and fell in love with it. It's called, "All The Man That I Need." Enjoy.

What was your reaction to Whitney's passing? Has her sudden and untimely death spoken to you in your journey in any way?

Namaste.

Article: Should New Jersey fly the flag at half-staff in honor or Whitney Houston?

Respecting What we Touch | Mindfulness Practice | 100th Sulilo Blog!

2012-02-09T08:19:00.000-08:00

This week in yoga class, our teacher gave us a new assignment to add on to our "3 acts of kindness to the world and 3 acts of kindness to ourselves" daily practice.

We were invited to begin practicing respect, and we are doing it in an interesting and unexpected way. The practice is to show respect (or bring respect) to EVERYTHING that we touch...another person, an object, the family pet...everything that we touch with any part of ourselves...food as we prepare and enjoy it...the rug or hardwood floors beneath our feet...

I just started the practice and have already begun to notice two immediate benefits: Respecting everything I touch keeps me in the present moment, and it makes me feel grateful.

Suddenly, twisting the cap off the milk at breakfast time was no longer a trivial, robotic act, but one of wonder, and a reminder of how fortunate I am to have milk in the fridge.

Walking down the stairs to my kitchen first thing in the morning to feed my cats wasn't done in a zombie-like, "Ughh, it's morning" fashion. I felt each step beneath my feet. I noticed the coolness of the wooden railing as my hand held it along the way. I felt more curious about "the ordinary," and everything felt alive and interesting.

My teacher suggested touching everything as if we were borrowing it from a dear friend. We tend to treat such things with much more care than our own belongings. We can bring that same care to everything in our lives.

We can bring it to showering...brushing our teeth...opening the car door and sitting on the car seat, holding our pets, significant others, and children. Moment to moment, we can stay more aware and grateful of every little thing. It's quite profound.

Last night, as I was counting some bills before putting them into my wallet, I respected the money. As I cleaned my house, I took my time, respecting every object and fully acknowledging how each is a blessing.

Even right now, my fingers feel like they are dancing on the keyboard. :-)

I challenge you to accept the invitation to practice respect in this way, starting right now. I truly look forward to your thoughts before you begin and as you begin to experience the benefits.

Namaste.

Image Courtesy of Women in Recovery

(As a fun side note, I'm excited to share that this is my 100th post on this Sulilo blog!)

Netflix Knows Me | Moving Movies

2012-02-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Over time, Neflix has determined that I especially enjoy "Midlife Crisis Comedies," and Dramas, Comedies, and Romantic Comedies "featuring a Strong Female Lead" and continues to suggest incredible films that fit these bills.

A while back, I watched a movie called "Under the Tuscan Sun." For any woman of any age, if you have ever had the urge or fantasy to just leave it all behind and start your life over somewhere else, this movie is a must-see.

Trailer for "Under The Tuscan Sun":

This film evidently became a starting point for my intimate relationship with Netflix. I began to receive some interesting suggestions - movies that, according to my interest in "Under the Tuscan Sun," I might enjoy. Since then, each choice to view a film and rate it has led to additional, very appropriate suggestions.

At times, I've stretched out of my comfort zone. For example, I no longer mind subtitles at all. Limiting my movie choices to English language films was limiting my world.

I now love movies about women in foreign countries (especially oppressed ones) who rise above and revel in their own personal victories.

I love watching them take charge of their lives...finding their paths...finding true happiness. Isn't this, universally, what we all long for?

Here are some of my favorites:

"In Therapy"

"Caramel"

(give this one about 10 seconds to load...it starts off all scrambled but then comes into focus...)

"Caramel"

Netflix is now recommending this film to me:

"Bread and Tulips"

Based on the trailer, I am going to *love* this film. I'll keep you posted.

Have you seen any of these movies? What types of movies do you tend to gravitate toward? How do they make you feel?

Namaste.

When we Judge Ourselves Harshly | The Yoga of Non-Judgment

2012-01-31T16:53:00.000-08:00

I knew that this particular blog post would be difficult to write, so I have been putting it off for days. Only today, when I revealed a glimpse of it to my Twitter followers and received words of support and requests for this topic, did I feel fully prepared to share.

While sparing you the details, I have been under a good amount of stress lately. In response to that stress, I have done a number of things, from making sure I practice yoga to comforting myself with food. Both can be healthy, but with regards to food, I have been disregarding my body's signals when I am full, and I have been excessively consuming sweets. I have been using food to calm and soothe me, but the food choices haven't been the healthiest. For a number of reasons in the short and long term, this is not good for the body.

In fact, it's not good for homeostasis in general: mind-body-spirit. It's not to say that we should never curl up with a bowl of ice cream when we are feeling down or indulge a little bit more when at a buffet, but given that I have had a pattern of disordered eating throughout my life (ever since I can remember, really), I need to be kinder, more compassionate, and loving when I notice that my day to day food choices have swung in an unhealthy direction or when the messages I am telling myself become unkind or judgmental.

Image Courtesy of The Body Shop

Judgment from the Self:

A psychologist friend who implements a lot of Buddhist practices into her work mentioned the concept of judging the other day. In this example, if we look at my reaction to my weight gain, judgment vs. non-judgment would look like this:

Judgement ("negative"): I gained 18 pounds over the past 5 years because I've been eating a lot and not exercising as much as I should to keep up with it. I am repulsive, and because I'm not a size 2, I look horrible.

Judgement ("positive"): I gained 18 pounds over the past 5 years because I eat a lot and I've enjoyed every second of it. My curves look good.

Non-judgment: I gained 18 pounds over the past years because I've been eating a lot and not exercising much. 18 pounds over 5 years amounts to an average of 3.6 lbs per year.

Do you see the differences between the 3 mindsets? Some would say that the "positive" judgment works for them, and that's fine. This illustration is just to show judgment vs. non-judgment. When we operate from non-judgment, we take away "good,""bad,""right,"and "wrong," and we just state the facts.

Judgement from Others (that we take on...or not):

Someone close to me recently commented that they were concerned for my health because they saw the spare tire I carry around on my belly area. I was laying on the floor, carefree, playing with my cats, unaware that I was "exposed." This person sees me all the time, but in this moment, my belly happened to show. I am usually a master at camouflaging my waist and belly - I layer Bali form-fitting tanks, wear looser tops, and things of this nature.

Yes, my jeans have gotten tighter. (That's usually my gauge). I had been walking around noticing and realizing this and it hadn't really bothered me all that much, but when I heard the comment, along with, "It's really hard to lose the weight when it gets out of control," I suddenly panicked. Given my history with eating disorders, I am not completely surprised that this reaction showed up. Fear took over, and this a dangerous emotional state to live in.

I had an almost instant judgment: "This person thinks I look fat and gross. I'd better lose this extra weight!"

In a more peaceful compassionate moment, we can take a look at moments where we judged ourselves (or others) like this and find a non-judgmental stance. I did this in this case.

My non-judgmental stance: "This person commented that they were concerned for my health because I have gained weight, and they also said it's really difficult to lose extra weight when it gets out of control."

Really, that's all that happened. Am I a mind reader? Do I know the other person's intentions? I know that this individual wouldn't want to hurt me with these words. I know that this person has had struggles with weight. I had a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to what I thought the comments must have meant. I could have asked if I had any unclarity, but I didn't.

Having ALL PARTS Show Up on The Yoga Mat

Yoga, for me, is about more than the physical practice on the yoga mat. It is also mentally soothing and balancing, and I feel very spiritually connected to it on and off of the mat.

This week, our teacher said that in order to grow in our yoga practice, we need to keep showing up to the mat. All of us. Rainy days. Sunny days. All parts of us. For me, at this time, this would be:

the young me who didn't always have food to eat
the teenage me who strove for perfection by extreme restriction of caloric intake
the adult me who has grown to love and appreciate food: cooking, going out to eat various cuisines, and baking
the adult me who sometimes becomes so stressed that she goes the other direction and completely loses her appetite
the part of me who fears judgment from others
the part of me that judges herself

ALL OF US will be showing up tomorrow to yoga class. All of us will be on the mat, mindfully engaging in purposeful movements and meditation. All of us will release judgment. I will feel safe to let my belly hang out in downward dog. I will not look around and judge others' body shapes, "good," "bad," "thin," "chubby," "fat," "better than me/worse than me."

I will go within to what really matters. I will be in my body, loving every cell. It is here that I will remember that God loves us as we are and where we are at, and the issues we amplify and become consumed with must be considered on a grand, eternal scale. We are loved. We can love ourselves through anything.

Yogic Raisin to Consider: In what areas of your life have you noticed judging or non-judgment? Who do you tend to judge more: others, yourself, or are you an equal opportunity judge? How would you describe your relationship with food? Body image?

Please show yourself kindness, and I will do the same.

Namaste.

Don't Take Me for a Ride | The Auto Shop Experience

2012-01-27T14:04:00.000-08:00

This story starts in frustration and ends in compassion and understanding. Sometimes, things work out that way. Perhaps you can relate.

I recently experienced some problems with my car. I don't usually drive at night, so it may have been an issue for a while, but I didn't find out until I was driving on a very dark road, on my way to pick up my significant other from the airport, when *BAM*: both of my headlights failed.

There were no street lights. I was in complete darkness.

Luckily, the faint glow of my hazard lights was enough to guide me to the shoulder of the road until I was able to get some help. The next day I went to the auto shop that I usually use. Their electrical person wouldn't be in for a couple of days, and I really wanted this safety issue resolved as quickly as possible.

Being a chain, they have another location a few cities away. I went there, and they were able to perform the diagnostic tests. I was told that the needed parts would take two weeks to arrive from the east coast. What were they going to use? The Pony Express?

I asked if they could expedite the parts. I had to call the shop a number of times to follow up and "remind" them to call their vendor and find it about expediting the order.

After a couple of days, I called to ask them the status of the parts. This morning, the man I spoke with said that he forgot to tell me that the parts arrived yesterday. I was a bit frustrated. I live about 45 minutes from the shop, and I could've been there and had my car repaired by now. Out loud, to myself, in the privacy of my home, I remember muttering things like, "those idiots....incompetent...geez, I had to do *everything*...jerks."

I fantasized about and even recited the scathing Yelp review that I couldn't wait to give them. When I arrived at the shop, the two staff members at the front desk looked embarrassed. While I didn't receive an apology, I could tell by the looks on their faces that they felt badly. They were extra courteous. I couldn't get angry. I just assertively asked, "Can you get me out of here in 2 hours?" I was assured that this would be possible.

I wanted to complain and ask why they has been so incompetent and why I had to do all of the legwork and pay for it, to boot. I wanted to tell them that it was rude of them to disregard my time. But when I looked at them, instead, my heart was filled with compassion. I've been a pushover in my life before, and I have no intention of playing that role again, but this morning, I felt that it was more important to be effective than to be "right." (Besides, I would have my moment with Yelp!)

I realized that I didn't know the whole story. Who knows why my issues were not a priority? Who knows what else has been happening at the shop with the staff and with the other customers? My emergency wasn't necessarily theirs.

I needed to take a time out. I went to use the restroom. There, on the wall of the cement floored, typical dingy auto shop bathroom, hung this little painting.

Painting on the Car Shop's Bathroom wall

Seeing it softened my heart further. It reminded me that there is a little bit of beauty in every place and situation.

Don't get me wrong: It's not ok for people to take advantage of us. It's not ok for us to be mistreated, especially when we are exchanging money for a service.

At the same time, we can keep ourselves from becoming consumed with anger and channel that energy in a constructive direction. This day and age, we have Yelp, a website that allows us as consumers to share our experiences - the good, bad, and the ugly, with other consumers. Had I checked the rating for this particular car shop (an average of only 1 star out of 5), I could have avoided this whole mess to begin with.

When the front desk clerk called me to take a look at my car, and we discovered that the technician failed to replace several lights that were on the work order, he became angry. I told him, "It's not your fault." Truth be told, I didn't have to be anywhere at any certain time, so this was a major opportunity to practice patience and tolerance.

I sat in the waiting area for almost another hour, and I Yelped. I channeled the frustration in a constructive way and directed no negativity to these men at the shop.

I cannot control everything, but I can Yelp.

Think of a situation that recently frustrated you. What might have been going on with the other people involved? Does it reduce your frustration at all to consider this?

Namaste.

The Yoga of Mindful Baking | Grounding Exercise

2012-01-23T10:50:00.000-08:00

“You know what I love about cooking? … I love that after a day when nothing is sure—and when I say ‘nothing’ I mean nothing!—you can come home and absolutely know that if you add eggs yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. It’s such a comfort.” - Amy Adams as Julie in Julie & Julia

This quote came to mind today as I was baking soda cupcakes (details later) as a mindfulness practice. Today has been quite an ordeal. I received a phone call at 5:30 am that a close family member had an emergency, and I was asked to help. I'm on the west coast. She's on the east cost. But luckily, in today's world, this didn't pose much of an obstacle.

She's safe for now. I can sleep well knowing that. I won't get into all of the details, but she's decided to trust that she is more valuable, loved, and supported than she may have previously believed. She's taken a big step in her life, and I am so blessed and proud to be a part of it. At the same time, I'm really stressed. When I was little, she had gone through a similar crisis that lasted for years, and I was a helpless child. The resources that exist today were not in place back then. I still suffer from time to time with PTSD symptoms over the incidents of the past, and her present situation jolted me. But it's not about me. It's about her.

I decided to not get carried away by the pain of the past by grounding myself in the present, which ultimately led me to be able to be more effective in supporting her while also taking care of myself. How did I do this? I baked.

Not completely from scratch, though I did experiment with a fun and unusual variation on cupcakes. I recently read that you can take any box of cake mix, add to it a 12 oz. can of soda, mix, bake as direct,and voila, yummy cupcakes. I decided to give it a try. I loved that since the soda replaced all of the wet ingredients, including the eggs, the raw batter could be enjoyed without worry. (It was yummy by the way and is a vegan-friendly version for my vegan friends!)

My only 2 Cupcake Ingredients: Pillsbury Cake Mix and Blue Sky Free Cola (made with Stevia)

I mixed the ingredients. I lined the muffin tins with paper liners. I scooped the batter into the liners, one by one. I placed the tray into the preheated oven and set the timer. As I waited, I mixed some reduced fat cream cheese with Splenda and vanilla extract with my mixer until fluffy and until it tasted a little bit sweet. Then, I sat on the stairs and waited.

The batter, free of raw eggs, was incredibly yummy!

Frosting made with just low-fat cream cheese, Splenda, and Vanilla Extract

When they were finally done, I pulled them out to cool, and I stood on the stairs and waited. Once cooled, I frosted them, put them in the fridge, and waited. Step by step. Details by detail.

Yes. These cupcakes taste as scrumptious and fudgy and dense as they look!

About an hour after I had begun the process, I was eating - and thoroughly enjoying - one of the best cupcakes I'd had in a while. It felt very satisfying. Though I didn't make them completely from scratch (though, let's face it- all the Pillsbury Dough Boy did was combine my dry ingredients for me) I didn't just pick them up from the bakery either.

My cupcakes. Not pretty, but delicious. If I want to make it to Cupcake Wars, I'd better buy a piping bag and get some skills. :)

I grounded myself in the experience, right in this present moment. The movie quote at the beginning of this post was in my mind. I knew that I could take comfort in the fact that if I baked, step by step, I could count on the results. Even in taking the risk by using the soda, all turned out well. I may not be able to control everything around me...but I can bake.

What kind of activities can you engage in to ground yourself during times of stress? What has worked in the past? What is something new that you may try?

A pretty chocolate cupcake

Namaste.

Yoga Homework: Acts of Kindness

2012-01-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

My yoga teacher invited us to join her in her weekly homework for the next few months. This week, the assignment is based on kindness.

Each day, participants are to work toward the goal of 3 acts of kindness toward others (within their own households, community, the world at large), and 3 acts of kindness toward one's self.

Yoga class counts as 1 act for each category, because the effect it has on us emanates out into the world and creates a positive, energy that affects others.

I took the challenge.

Yesterday, my acts looked like this:

Acts of Kindness Toward Other Beings:

1.) I checked on DJ, the Library Cat...

There is a local cat who lives at the church and library. It got really cold last night (down into the mid twenties), and DJ popped up in my mind. I worried about him. I often go to pet him and bring him food and toys (as do others in the community).

I stopped by the library and asked about DJ. I was assured that he was seen today, that he is "all good," and that everyone at the library was taking good care of him.

DJ The Library Cat

2.) I fully participated in my yoga class...

This is an act of kindness to others for a number of reasons that I hadn't really considered before. For example, I am much more relaxed and at ease during and after class. My patience and ability to cope with everyday stresses are extended, allowing me to be kind in situations where I might otherwise be less tolerant. Also, during yoga, I am engaging in symbolic poses that honor the world around me, showing kindness and respect to the wonders found all around and within us. At the end of class, we say "Namaste," which translated loosely from Sanskrit means: "The light in me bows to the light in you."

3.) I made a delicious dinner for my significant other and I...

I've been lazy about cooking lately. I love to go out to eat or grab takeout. Last night, though, I prepared a warm meal for the two of us, all at home. Fortunately, it came out delicious, and my SO, who has been very stressed out lately, told me how much joy he experienced from that meal.

Homecooked Meal that I made

Acts of Kindness Toward Myself:

1.) Listened to soothing music as I drove and while I was cooking...

Music has the power to enhance or shift our moods. I was feeling a mix of emotions and feelings yesterday. I really wanted to tap into the feelings of gratitude and trust in the Universe/God that all is well and that all will be well. I chose music that would support this and indulged in it.

2.) I fully participated in my yoga class...

I listened to my body. When vinyasas felt like too much, I went straight to downward dog. I felt every twist massaging my organs. I engaged in deep, meditative pranayama breathing. I allowed myself to work hard and to rest. Savasana, as always, was incredibly restoring. Yoga, for me, is the ultimate act of kindness to the self.

3.) I allowed myself kitty and tv time...

One of my favorite parts of the day is snuggling up with my two cats and watching some of my favorite shows. We often fall asleep because it's so cozy and relaxing.

What do you think about the idea of this week's homework? Can you think of at least one kind thing you can do for others and yourself today? Perhaps you've already done them. Please feel free to share.

"Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi, and change your world." - Annie Lennox

Namaste.

Pay It Forward | The Ripple Effects of Kindness

2012-01-14T18:08:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been a part of something that had you beaming ear to ear with a smile? Did it make your heart overflow to where you just had to share the experience and the consequential smile? That's me in this moment, and I would like to share with you, my precious reader.

I struggled with whether talking about this experience would diminish the blessing or make it any less valuable. I struggled with coming off as looking for self-glorification. I just have to trust that the intentions of my heart will be obvious: I want you to be blessed by this, and I want you to feel inspired to go out and bless someone else.

Here goes.

I was in line at the grocery store today, and a lady was ahead of me with her baby.

Turns out this woman didn't have enough money for her order. Without hesitation, I asked if I could treat her. I had recently been very blessed, and I was open and receptive to the opportunity to "pay it forward." This felt like the right moment.

At first, she looked a little embarrassed...possibly offended. To ease the awkwardness, I shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and looked away as I said in my sweetest voice, "I just wanted to do my random act of kindness for the day."

She seemed more at ease at that point, "Well, if you WANT to," she said as she smiled. The cashier and bagger couldn't stop smiling and the cashier commented, "Wow, this is so nice." My heart wondered if they had ever had this experience before. I wondered how their hearts may have been affected and if it would cause a ripple effect in their lives.

While the food was being scanned and bagged, the woman was talking to her child. She then turned to me and told me about how her daughter was a preemie...how she's into everything...how her doctor said not to be alarmed that she's lagging on the developmental calendar.

She shared that she works the early morning shift at McDonald's and just got off of work. She told me exactly which McDonald's she worked at and said that I should go down there next week, and she'd pay me back. "No," I told her. Please pay it forward. If you see someone that you can help out, just do it. "Ok," she said, "thank you again."

I paid for her order (it was a just a few items, mostly things on clearance.) I was confused when she walked away and there were still items on the conveyor belt. The cashier explained that the woman had split her order up for some reason, and she was running to the car to get money.

I don't know why I didn't act then to tell her I intended to bless her - not half bless her - and for the cashier to ring up the rest of the order on my card. But, I guess I froze up in the confusion.

Once the woman was outside, I asked the cashier if she could hustle and charge the second order to my card as well. I wanted her to hurry so I could get out of the store before the woman returned.

The cashier smiled brightly and said, "Wow, this is SO nice. Are you sure? ...Wow." And, we did it! Again, it was just a few items, all on clearance.

I hope my friend in line really came back in to get her items, but I'll never know for sure. What I do know is if we all step up to the opportunities to bless others that present themselves to us when we are able, the ripple effects will be amazing.

People will feel better, having received and/or witnessed it, and they will likely go on to be kinder to others that day. Perhaps they will also bless them in some other way.

I can't get the image of this woman, her baby, and the smiling, somewhat bewildered cashier and bagger out of my mind. I can't stop smiling about the whole thing.

I was reminded today of the many, many times that people - even complete strangers - have stepped up to bless me when times were rough. I am so thankful to have opportunities to pay it forward.

Thank you for letting me share this experience with you.

Have you recently been blessed? What are some of your ideas around how to pay if forward?

Namaste.

To See The World In a Grain of Sand

2012-01-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

Earlier today some sparkly pavement outside of an office building caught my eye. For some reason, in front of this professional business establishment, someone thought it would be nice to embed a very glittery, light-reflective substance into the pavement. I paused and enjoyed the way it looked from different angles as the light of the sun struck it.

As I walked into the building and toward the elevators, still thinking about what I had just seen, I was reminded of sand. In the warm summer sun, a beach's sand often looks like a billion little sparkles. I have felt sand under my feet and between my toes. I have held it. As a child, I built castles with it. Until today,though, I had only seen it with my bare eyes, and with the exception of some differences in texture and color, it all pretty much looked the same to me. But today, I came upon this:

Gary Greenberg, Ph.D. of the University of Hawaii Institute for Astronomy in Maui captures sand at a magnification of 250x. In doing this, he has brought us an up-close and amazing look at how each and every grain of sand on the planet is a unique masterpiece. Like snowflakes, he says, no two grains are exactly the same.

Sand at 250x magnification
© Dr. Gary Greenberg/SWNS

Sand. Isn't it just amazing?

Sand at 250x magnification
© Dr. Gary Greenberg/SWNS

We live on a beautiful planet whose mysteries continue to be revealed to us. We are the first generation of human beings to have the technology capable of seeing a grain of sand for what it really is. Imagine what else we will discover as time goes on.

Think about something that you enjoy on a superficial level. By superficial, I don't mean materialistic, but "basic." Maybe it's stars. Aromatherapy oils. Antique furniture.

Take a little bit of time to learn something new about your interest. You may be surprised at what you find, and you may even notice that your life is further enriched.

"To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour." - William Blake

Namaste.

The Art of Looking Within (Featuring works by Jeremiah Ketner)

2012-01-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

As a yogi, I love the beauty of every movement and every pose of the practice. My taste in art is similar. I love the story behind the image - unique to everyone who experiences it. I love flowing, colorful, magical works of art. There are few experiences that induce within me the level of bliss that I feel on the mat. I am about to share with you one of them.

I became interested in Pop Surrealism when I first saw an enchanting, whimsical creature, created by artist Jeremiah Ketner.

With his permission, I am sharing some of the paintings he has created that move and bewitch me the most.

Let's Go For a Swim

"Let's go for a swim" Courtesy of Jeremiah Ketner

"Let's go for a swim" is one of my favorite paintings by Ketner. The serene, peaceful nature of the fairy-like human, and the surreal imagery and cascading images that surround her (including her beautiful red locks) make me feel a sense of peace and hope. Her bliss reminds me of that moment in Savasana when we TRULY let go.

All of My Dolls

"All of my Dolls" Courtesy of Jeremiah Ketner

"All of my Dolls" instantly transports me to a safe place in childhood. The young being is gently holding her dolls - not clutching them in a fearful or panicked way. She's collected them up and is cherishing and loving each one, grounding herself in the loving energy she feels from each. It looks as if she may be drifting off into a peaceful slumber with her entire collection of little friends. She is safe. All is well.

Maneki Neko (Bringer of Luck)

"Maneki Neko (Bringer of Luck)" Courtesy of Jeremiah Ketner

This joyful image makes me smile. I love the deep violet colors and the energy light emanating from this Japanese kitty, a traditional symbol of luck on its way.

The Drawing Board

All great art starts with an idea. On Friday night, Jeremiah Ketner tweeted this lovely pic of his sketches.

The Drawing Board | Image courtesy of Jeremiah Ketner

Your Turn

I challenge you to explore some more of of Ketner's art at www.JeremiahKetner.com

I am curious to learn which images move you and why. Looking at art and telling the story that comes up in your heart will be a unique, imaginative, and often healing experience.

There is no right or wrong. You may not have been encouraged to use your imagination in a very long time. Watch how you feel during and after you allow yourself this experience.

Jeremiah Ketner's response to this blog post on Twitter.

Namaste.

Invite Yourself as Guest to Dinner

2012-01-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I participated in an exercise as part of a mindfulness class. The task involved preparing a delicious meal (or picking up your favorite meal from a restaurant or grocery store), and setting up a space as if you were expecting an honored guest. The honored guest is you!

I practiced this today. Although I didn't go all out with place mats and candles (as I had the first time), as lunch time approached and my hunger increased, I wondered what I would eat on this work-from-home day.

A quick glance of my fridge, and it was obvious that I'd be selecting a frozen entree. Which was fine. I was excited to try Amy's Palaak Paneer - one of my favorite North Indian dishes whenever I go to the Indian buffet.

Image from Amy's

So, I heated this up as I put into the oven two pieces of garlic naan from Trader Joe's.

Garlic Naan from Trader Joe's

Once prepared, instead of eating the frozen meal from its container, I placed it nicely on a plate, making it feel more homey.

My meal, on a favorite plate at home

I enjoyed it with an all-natural cola soda from Zevia. I love it because it is delicious, refreshing, calorie free, and has nothing weird in it. It is sweetened with a plant extract called stevia, which has been around for thousands of years.

Image courtesy of Zevia

I felt grateful for every bite and sip. The entire meal was delicious.

I very often tweet about food - sharing my favorite finds along the way. In sharing with you today, I realized how important it is to take the time to care for ourselves - to nourish our bodies, minds, and spirits.

I realize how very fortunate we are to eat well and have access to foods and drinks that keep us healthy as well as bring us pleasure.

We are blessed.

What is your favorite meal/beverage/snack, and how can you prepare it with LOVE for yourself today?

Namaste.

Disgruntled Postal Customer

2012-01-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

I got pretty upset today, which created an opportunity for reflection. It really made me question what type of energy and intention I am generating in certain situations - even with something as ordinary as the mail that I receive. Perhaps you can relate.

I suppose if this incident had been a one-off, isolated situation, I would have been more understanding.

A friend from the east coast sent me a package of goodies for Christmas through the USPS (United States Postal Service). She paid for priority handling and delivery confirmation. I light up like a child when I receive a package in the mail, so I was looking forward to this.

Yesterday, we tracked the package, and it was "Delivered" to a completely different city and zip code, nearly an hour from where I live. I went to my local post office where I was told there was "nothing we can do. Hopefully the person who got it will forward it on to you. Wait a few days and see."
My friend was saddened, as she'd carefully collected items that she thought I would enjoy, and she placed them in this box. She had just put in a couple more things and was excited to send the package off and make my day.

When we learned that the package was mis-delivered (and no one at USPS can apparently do anything about it), she felt so badly. I felt badly as well - not so much for the material possessions that were in the box (although I was so excited to receive them), but for all of the heart and love that went into preparing it and sending it to me. It also cost my friend a pretty penny to ship it - only for it to never arrive.

Image courtesy of JessicaKateProductions

Last month, I sent my sister a care package. When it arrived, it was smashed, almost all of the contents damaged or destroyed. Because I did not purchase insurance (although I packaged it very well), again, there was nothing that USPS could do.

My uncle sent me a card with a gift inside over a week ago. It never arrived. My sister sent a box of cookies to someone in another part of her state, Priority, and it took 10 days to get to him.

What is going on? I can either take this as confirmation of the failing USPS system that we have all been hearing about (I vow to only use UPS or FedEx for packages now), or I can wonder if I am putting something out there, energetically, to create confusion or a lack of follow-through on my mail arriving safely. Maybe its a combination of both.

As I was in Yoga class today, the package kept coming into my mind. I felt anger and sadness. I was caught up in it. It easily could have ruined my day, and it almost did.

I had to actively decide not to let this incident totally spoil my mood. As my friend Aly said, "If that's your worst problem today, you're way more blessed than a lot of people." My sister also feels confident that the package will show up.

I showed up early to class and hung out a bit with my teacher and classmates. I got to get outside of my own head and "problem" and hear about happy vacations. I got to see photos and talk about the best iPad apps. I was in the moment.

Image Courtesy of Keep Calm & Stay Gold Yoga Gifts

During class, I got wrapped up in the asanas, and I felt blissful during savasana.

When I left yoga class, I held on to that sacred, calming feeling that my teacher calls "the residue of yoga."

At home, I calmly filed a complaint online that will, hopefully, trigger an investigation and get my package safely to me.

I asked the Universe to forgive me for any negativity I may have generated to contribute to this repeated situation with the mail. I asked God to bless my friend, who works hard for a living and whose disappointment my heart shared. I prayed for my Uncle - that he be blessed, because he also works hard, and to send me a gift meant a sacrifice for him.

We'll see what happens.

Namaste.

Crying During Yoga Class: Practicing through difficult emotions

2012-01-02T20:47:00.001-08:00

When I arrived at yoga class today, there was a substitute teacher. Each time I experience a new teacher's style, it is inevitably an enjoyable opportunity.

Today was no exception.

When I arrived in class, the teacher was already leading a chant. I quietly placed a yoga mat down on of the few available spots on the hardwood studio floor and immediately joined in.

She then led us in a variety of poses, noting that we would "take it easy," since it is the start of the new year. A few of us chuckled. I wondered if it was because they, too, felt that the asanas we were doing, particularly the repeated and long-held chair poses(Utkatasana I), were anything but taking it easy.

Chair Pose | Image Courtesy of YogaClass

It felt good though. I had come into class a bit emotionally elevated, having just had a difficult conversation that didn't go as I had hoped. My body was still feeling the effects of the situation. I walked into the gym with freshly dried tear tracks, glassy eyes, and an obligatory smile for the front desk staff.

I scurried my way back to the studio and made a decision to allow my mind and body to continue to move through the process that those parts of me were experiencing, while also remaining steadfast in my commitment to practice yoga today.

There I was, with body, mind, and spirit on board. It felt good to follow through, despite the sadness and heartbreak I was experiencing in that moment.

Eagle pose (Garuda-asana), for some reason, was particularly comforting. Perhaps it was a combination of the balancing and the twisted nature of the pose that caused me to feel held and supported.

Eagle Pose | Image Courtesy of iSport

Choosing my yoga practice, even in the midst of a challenging emotional experience, proved to be helpful and healing.

Have you ever shown up for something in the midst of an emotional experience?

How did showing up and following through affect your mood for the rest of the day?

What yoga poses comfort you?

Namaste.

Dealing with Work Anxiety and Stress

2011-12-31T10:28:00.000-08:00

I have an upcoming work challenge that I will be facing. It involves being in an uncomfortable environment (a trade show), surrounded by individuals (associates of the company at which I work part-time) that I have reason to believe do not really like me, and expected to do work that is beyond my scope of understanding.

For some, this type of situation may be a welcomed opportunity for growth...a nice shakeup to the mundane, ordinary routine.

Up until last night, for me, it's been a source of anxiety and distress. I have been thinking of ways to "get out of it." I have been playing over and over in my mind all of the dreadful experiences that I expect I would experience.

Then, I took a deep breath. I acknowledged that the way I have been approaching this situation is not in alignment with my belief that the Universe supports us. It is not in alignment with the truth that I am blessed, and that opportunity presents itself to me so that I can learn, grow, and conquer any feelings of fear or inferiority. Life constantly unfolds before all of us with chances to learn, grow, and increase in love.

This beautiful image is from Stephanie Ryan Art

I took a few deep breaths. I asked myself how I could rephrase the situation in a way that is in alignment with who I am and who I want to be...how could I rephrase this situation in a way that EMPOWERS me, rather than leaves me feeling like a helpless victim of circumstances that overwhelm me?

This came to mind:

"I can do it. Even if it makes me uncomfortable, I can do it in a way that honors God and makes him smile." - Sulilo

Upon that acknowledgment, I felt SUCH a sense of relief. Something else that came to mind...A Christian friend once pointed out a scripture from her bible regarding the challenges of working with difficult people (and work in general). It is also in alignment with this:

"...Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [and not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [real] reward. [The One Whom] you are actually serving [is] the Lord Christ (the Messiah)..." - Colossians 3: 23-24

Wow. So, my new plan - rather than envisioning the situation going wrong? I am envisioning it going RIGHT. I am imagining all the ways I may be of service in the situation. I am imagining all of the people with whom I will speak kindly, offer warm eye contact, and to whom I will truly lend a listening ear. I will be helpful, kind, and humble.

As I engage in my yoga practice over the next month leading up to the event, I will remind myself that every opportunity is a chance to be a beacon of light - to make someone's day, and to help bring EASE to our own lives and to the lives of those around us.

I'm now (almost) looking forward to the opportunity. :)

Where are you experiencing a challenge? How can you rephrase the entire situation so that you acknowledge that Life supports you - that you are not a helpless victim of circumstance, and that YOU have the power to create a blessed experience for yourself and those around you?

Namaste,

Sulilo

Animal Cruelty: May All Beings Be Free From Suffering

2011-12-29T14:55:00.000-08:00

I was caught off-guard last night by a commercial that came on tv about animal cruelty. I knew from the second that I saw the cute, scuffed up, beady eyed poodle looking at me from the screen, that I should have changed the channel so that I wouldn't be upset. But, I couldn't turn away. I wanted to watch and see the commercial end on a hopeful note - with an update of some sort, insuring me that that this kind, precious little being was now doing well.

Unfortunately, the commercial just went on to show one abused or neglected dog or cat after another. Especially heartbreaking was a Pomeranian dog that was in a cage. He looked so sad. The caption read: "Will I EVER get out of this cage?"

That's when I lost it. I burst into tears. I thought of all of the innocent, loving animals that are in such conditions. I thought about how some animals bear the brunt of humans' anger and psychosis. I wept for them.

Although I'm not surprised that this commercial tugged on my heart strings, I was taken aback by the intensity of the reaction that I had. Part of it was an overwhelming sense of sorrow that I could not personally help/save each animal that I hear about.

Part of it was an overwhelming grief of knowing that such suffering exists at the hands of my fellow human beings. And most of it was because I felt powerless in that moment, wondering if there is anything I can really do to positively impact change.

Today, the Buddha's Metta Sutta, the Sutra of Loving Kindness, came to mind.

Here is the portion of the Metta Sutta that came to mind:

May all beings be well and safe, may they be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be, whether moving or standing still, without exception, whether large, great, middling, or small, whether tiny or substantial,
Whether seen or unseen, whether living near or far,
Born or unborn; may all beings be happy.
Let none deceive or despise another anywhere. Let none wish harm to another, in anger or in hate.

Just as a mother would guard her child, her only child, with her own life, even so let me cultivate a boundless mind for all beings in the world.

Let me cultivate a boundless love for all beings in the world, above, below, and across, unhindered, without ill will or enmity.

Standing, walking, seated, or lying down, free from torpor, let me as far as possible fix my attention on this recollection. This, they say, is the divine life right here.

I may not be able to insure, on my own, that all animals are loved and properly treated, but I can help animals in need whenever it is in my power to do so. I can bring awareness to this very important issue, and I can recite the Metta Sutta, from my heart, in hopes that the vibration of love will increase on this planet - especially toward the vulnerable, who need our protection and kindness.

Are you also moved by something that can or has overwhelmed you? What CAN you do to make a difference? How you can be the change you wish to see?

Namaste,

Sulilo ♥

How to Be Happy on Mondays

2011-12-26T11:14:00.000-08:00

Tell some people to have a "Happy Monday," and they may look at you as if you told them that it was raining bricks. Perhaps you are one of these people? I often am.

This week, though, I realized I had a LOT to be grateful for. I woke up this Monday morning, and I thought about how our water heater has been broken since Saturday night (no hot showers...heating up water on the stove to wash up and to do dishes). We're lucky that a repair person will be out today to fix the water heater, and we'll be back to "normal" by this afternoon.

But, as I lay in bed this morning, I thought about the many little things that I take for granted on a regular basis, and how truly amazing each things is. I became very grateful, and continued to rattle off my gratitude list.

It was a great way to start a Monday morning. I noticed I was smiling as I was still in bed, under the warm covers, making a positive, pleasant transition from weekend mode to Monday morning. This was an unusual surprise.

I highly recommend reciting a Monday morning gratitude list before you even get out of bed. You can think about it in your head, or of you prefer, keep a pen and paper nearby so you can start writing when you wake up.

You can start with what many of us take for granted, such as a warm bed in a safe home (sadly, many people in our own community lack even these right now), running water, hot water, food in the refrigerator, electricity, family, friends, and pets, our health...

Then, we move on to luxuries...

A membership to the local gym or yoga center, a car, a Job, spare money to buy that Peppermint Mocha at Starbucks, access to the internet or cable so that we can connect with the world that way...

See? We get so caught up in momentary emotions and discomfort that we sometimes lose sight of how immensely blessed and fortune we truly are.

Monday mornings are a great way to remind ourselves of just how many reasons we have to be happy.

What are you grateful for? How can you bless yourself and others on this Marvelous Monday?

Namaste,
Sulilo

Yoga When You're Sick (aka Under the Weather Yoga)

2011-12-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

This past week, I got slammed with a cold. I don't usually catch them, and when I do, I'm unfortunately quite a baby about it. I wonder if I will ever get better. I wonder what things I can do to support my body in healing as quickly as possible.

In addition to the various supplements suggested by friends (I just went with some vitamin C in large quantities), I drank TONS of water, decaffeinated tea, and fruit juice diluted with sparkling water. My appetite was pretty low, but I managed to eat some soup and other light, nourishing foods. I read that it's natural for our appetite to decrease when we have a cold, because our body needs to use its energy to fight off the foreign bug - digestion of big meals is not its top priority during such times.

Photo Courtesy of this site

I longed to do some type of yoga practice, but with the various symptoms I was experiencing, I was hesitant. It was then that I decided to practice the yoga of acceptance.

I had been whining about having a cold, feeling miserable, and I realized that no amount of complaining or self pity was going to help me feel any better, any sooner.

I then practiced the yoga of meditation. I found it difficult to sit in a quiet state, especially when the trickle would turn into a full blown cough-fest, so I put on some guided hypnosis and guided meditation CDs, and this helped me to still my mind and relax my body.

I practiced the yoga of being present by making tea. I made it, held the warm mug in my hands, allowed the steam to go up my nose and in my mouth, and I sipped on it, all snuggled up in a blanket.

Image Courtesy of Peaceful Mind

I practiced the yoga of relaxation with aromatherapy, by using some Yardley of London Lavender Soap in a warmy, steamy shower.

I'm feeling a lot better. I'm at the tail end of the cold. It's leaving a lot faster than I imagined. Hopefully, in a few days, I'll be back to doing my physical yoga asana practice again.

What are you doing to support your immune system? What ways do you amp up the self-care if you feel under the weather?

How might you practice yoga off of the mat?

Miracle Yoga Pose (Anxiety) Viparita Karani: Legs Up The Wall

2011-12-20T15:39:00.001-08:00

Do you ever experience anxiety or panic attacks? Unfortunately, I do. During a recent bout, I took my yoga teacher's recommendation and practiced Viparita Karani: Legs Up The Wall pose. One of the therapeutic applications of this inversion is to calm your nervous system, making it quite helpful when you are experiencing anxiety.

My experience: It helped substantially.

Here is what the position looks like:

Photo Courtesy of Michael Venera

The yogi's pelvis is elevated. I've seen and done this pose done without elevation as well. I have found the elevated option to be more comfortable.

While practicing this pose, I put on one of my favorite new tracks, "He Ma Durga" by Donna De Lory.

This track is quite soothing. It's repetitive chant will having you feeling blissful and less anxious in no time.

Please check with your doctor or holistic health practitioner before engaging in any new physical activity - there are some contraindications for this pose. This is not intended to be medical advice or to diagnose or treat any ailment. Just one Yogi to another. ♥

Here is some more information on this miracle pose: Yoga Journal - Legs Up The Wall

Are there any yoga poses that you find helpful when you are experiencing physical or emotional discomfort?

What do YOU do for self-care?

Namaste.

The Shoulder Experiment - Tight, tense shoulders

2011-12-15T17:49:00.000-08:00

Earlier in the week, our Yoga teacher must have said a dozen times, in different ways, "Let your shoulders relax," as she paced the studio floor and gave us instructions on some gentle, flowing postures.

I felt as if it was just for me, since EVERY time she said:

Let your shoulders melt.
Let your shoulders be heavy.
Let your shoulders relax...

I found mine had crept back up so high that I could have very well worn them as earrings!

Photo Courtesy of Lifestyle for Health

Repeatedly, the tension in my shoulders reappeared, and repeatedly, I was stunned to find that, yet again, I had tensed up, unaware.

The experience really made me think. I made a commitment to, over the next few days, randomly notice my shoulders through out the day and give myself the same, gentle reminders:

Let your shoulders melt.
Let your shoulders be heavy.
Let your shoulders relax...

At first, every time I brought my shoulders into my awareness, I noticed that they were tight, tense, and that my posture was affected.

Today was the first time that I really noticed that they have been staying down...a little less tense.

I also noticed that no one (including me) told me to "put your shoulders down." Rather, there was a compassionate allowing of "Let your shoulders..."

My body and mind seem to be responding well to this.

What are you experiencing in your body that could use some more attention and compassion?

Namaste.