Sundar Narayanans Travelog

Responsible child

2009-12-18T21:51:00.000-08:00

LO : Daddy, we should not waste money, right?

Me : Yes. I keep telling you two that. Why are you asking me now? (my spider sense was tingling after seeing that sincerely serious look on the little ones face!)

LO : Why don't I just stay home? You and Amma keep saying "we spend soooo much money to send you to school!". If I don't go to school you can save money, right?

Me : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kids these days are plain dangerous. Endha puththula endha paambu irukkummnu yaarukkum theriyaadhu! (which snake lives in which hole, no one knows - is the literal translation.. but in this context it means, you cannot guess what a person is capable of by their size or looks.. ie., there is more to it than meets the eye!)

Note to self: Be very very careful with the little one, when she grows up!

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Photos on display

2009-12-15T22:14:00.000-08:00

We have a photo of my dad's mom on the shelf with the gods. For some reason, it has been a custom on my fathers side of the family to include grandma's photo with the gods. There are a lot of older dead relatives who are not given the same treatment.

So, it was suggested by the kids that my recently departed Grandpa's (mom's dad) photo be added to the Ummachi shelf (prayer shelf).

Seemed like a good idea and the small 4x6 was placed in one corner.

A conversation with the kids

Little One: Can we put GNB's (Carnatic singer G. N. Balasubramaniam who died in 1965!) photo there on the shelf too? He is also dead and we love him, right?

Me : Hmm.. We do have a photo of his. We can put it on the shelf if you want. But he is not family!

LO : thinks for a minute and goes "can we put Michael Jackson's photo there too?"

Me : !!!!!

Jr.: yes appa. he is dead also and has wings right?

Me : yes. MJ definitely has wings just like grandpa. But we can put his poster on the wall.

LO: Why don't you put it on the Ummachi shelf?

Me : It is complicated. When Michael Jackson was alive, I thought he was god. Somehow, now that he is dead, I have a problem praying to him along with the rest of the gods.. Your daddy is not smart enough to explain what he feels.

Now we are just going to take Thatha's photo and put it on the wall. Then take MJ's poster and put it on a wall as well to make all parties happy.

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Performance week...

2009-12-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

Jr. sang on stage at her music school annual day over the weekend.

First time she is singing on stage. The kids were all giggles at first, but eventually settled down, got serious and started singing in unison.

It was a chance for them to show all the parents what they have learned, get to sing with a team, realize practice makes perfect and be exposed to stage fright. Although the intensity of the practice was initially making me go "Why all the strain. can it not wait a few years?", came round to the realization that this was a great experience for the kids.

Can already picture the beaming face of all grandmas in India right now, when they get to see this video!

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Life is..

2009-12-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

"Life is Searching for the constant in something variable and searching for the variable in what is constant" - Sundar Narayanan.

(do not know if a quote like this exists already, but writing this independent of any quotes that may exist along similar lines that are out there. If not, this is my quote!)

An otherwise monotonous routine life, and we can still see changes!

Take for example, the annual IBM Kids Christmas party we attended for the third continuous year.

This year, we knew what the kids liked to do and we got them to do everything they liked, at the party. The constants were the photo op with Santa, the big tree, ballons, the clown, the cookie decorating, the caricature stall where they got to pose..

The variables were the hat decorating and the fact that the girls are older by a year!

We have been going to this one person (Big Al) to get the caricatures done for the last three years. We get to see how the kids features change, "in caricature"! He does an amazing job and the kids know they are posing just to find out how different they are compared to last years caricature..

Here are this years pictures..

and here is a composite of the last three years caricatures...

The kids really enjoyed the party, just like the previous years!

Sometimes we should be thankful to powers above and beyond that we are blessed with some sense of monotony and order and at the same time have changes over time that make life interesting for us.

Wishing one and all a wondeful holiday season..

-The Traveling Narayanan's

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Aalo Rose

2009-12-12T23:00:00.000-08:00

The recipe for the previous post, in pictures.

The final result:

First the Rose Aalo:

Microwave for 2 minutes, then drain the hot turmeric/Salt water out.

Bake at 350C for 20 minutes.

Make sure you use a paper towel and soak up the extra oil before serving.

Now something to do with the carved out pieces of potato. Make them into a quick Bhajji that can go along with the roti's.

Unfortunately, the bhajji was all gone before it could be served with the roti's.

Now, this would not be possible except for a commitment to San that the kitchen will be handed over to her in the same condition as before the cooking started!

Gents, please wash all dishes and wipe off stove, countertop etc. if you plan to do this experiment!

A Warning: While the Roses looked pretty inviting and were tasty, the core of the rose was way too hot, while the outside surface had cooled. So do NOT bite into the rose or you will burn your tongue! You may have to wait a little for it to cool down.

Julie and Julia was a good movie. It has inspired me to go back and do something in the kitchen.

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How about a deal?

2009-12-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

A conversation at the long thanksgiving weekend (sunday)

Little One: Daddy, how about I make a deal with you?

Me : ???? ok. tell me what the deal is?

LO : If you let me stay at home for 3 more days, I will go to school for 2 days. OK? (big nodding of head, gleeful smile, a face that almost wants you to say "okay kuttyma!")

Me : How about I make a deal with you?

LO : What deal?

Me : you go to school for the next five days and then you don't have to go to school for two days after that!

LO : !!!!!!!! How about I stay home for three more days and then go?

Me : It is either my deal or no deal.

LO : Fine then.

San and me were laughing away after this conversation.

In the meantime Jr. had figured out my deal wasn't really a deal because the little one was going to stay home for the weekend anyways and was giggling.

The little one knew that something wasn't right and she was given no bargaining power, but went on with life.

On the bright side, my little girl knows the concept of bargaining. It is a pity that we don't get to bargain here at stores.. you buy, you scan, you pay! The whole thrill of haggling over something and coming away with a feeling of having bought something at a reduced price after a verbal volleying is just lost in a supermarket.

When I was a little boy, it would be amazing to watch my grandma, grandpa and most importantly my dad bargain.

Grandma : "Konjam solli kudu paa?" (translates to please tell me a new lower price. the exact translation doesn't make sense but pretty sure that is what she says to the vendors).. Grandma pleaded with vendors.

Grandpa : If the guy was selling 3 mangoes for 3 rupees, he would pick 4 and go "please take 3". usually the guys would settle for somewhere between 3 and 4 rupees.. what with grandpa already bagging the mangoes and clearly declaring his intent to buy! Or he was picking something like eggplants or grapes, he would ask them to add a little extra after the whole thing was weighed and about to be transferred to his bag.

Mom: (who worked and retired a teacher in the local government school for 40 years) knew every vendor in the area because either they were her students who dropped out of school at some point or their kids were her current students.. She would not bargain. She would get a fair price, but would start talking about the kids, their progress reports, why the woman at the store should send her kid to school and put her drunkard husband in his place, etc. etc. The out of school social service stuff would go on for 20 minutes and my brother and me would go "if only mom spent as much time with us as she did with her students!"

Dad : Picks mangoes very carefully, asks for price, places picked mangoes at corner of vendors cart and walks away in "sticker" shock after he hears price. Goes away a few paces and turns and asks vendor "is that your final price?".. the guys who know my dad all too well (they have been bargaining with him for 30 years plus anyways) would say "vaa saar.. kochikinu pona eppidi! inniki eppidiyum beram pannama pomaate!" (come Sir.. dont get angry and walk away.. you are not going to leave without a bargain). Depending on how much time they had and how much my dad thought those mangoes were worth, the walking back and forth would take a good 20 minutes.

As a small kid, it didn't matter to me because there was plenty of things on south mada street to distract me. However, as I became older, there was no patience for this 20 minute time spent to save fifty paisa. There was homework to be done, TV to be watched, etc. etc. and would always fight my dad to ask him to stop bargaining.

This would always make me chose grandpa when it came to accompanying someone for grocery shopping.

Now that I am older, the art of bargaining has a strange appeal. It is like my dad transferred some bargaining gene to me.

May not make the best bargains (especially compared to San) but getting there!

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Have you ever tried..

2009-12-09T23:39:00.000-08:00

To take a potato,
Peel it
Cut a base out
then carve a little flower out of the potato
immerse it in a ceramic bowl with just enough water with salt and turmeric powder
microwave it for 2 minutes
then take the bright yellow rose out
coat it with oil mixed with salt, asafoedita and red chili powder
then bake it in the oven at 350C for 15 mins

If not, try it and do let me know how it turns out...

I will show you how my little rose turns out on Saturday night!

ps. this inspired by watching Julie and Julia.

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Trouble in Guitarland

2009-12-07T22:53:00.000-08:00

Was practicing "Samaja Vara Gamana" which is in Ragam HindOLam using the cheat sheet, and Jr. asked me

"How can anyone sing in that hollow voice to match your guitar?"

It did seem strange that when spanning two octaves, the lower octave below the one I had chosen as reference "C" was a too low!

Then the nerd in me went on a web surfing spree (followed by a lot of practicing) and found that:

a. most folks misquote the Center "C" in the keyboard to be 240Hz.

b. Actually the center "A" or "A4" as it called is at 440Hz exactly (round number). The Center "C" or the "C" key between A4 and A3(which is at 220Hz) is at 261.6 Hz and not at 240 Hz.

c. Guitar folks deliberately moved everything on the notation up by an octave! Apparently this was done to facilitate the notations (on western sheet music) to appear in the middle lines on the music sheets.. Now that is a bummer, and wish I had paid more attention to fixing the base scale.

d. No harm done. Now that I have been practicing the notes for the lower octave, just have to reset everything in my head and go up one.

Based on that, the advice for other guitar players trying to figure out Carnatic notes to play songs or "swaram RIF's" (that is what we are calling it in our house) is to practice in the "green" color coded octave on the cheat sheet.

The Hindolam reference example is here..
Hindolam is S G2 M1 D1 N2 S S N2 D1 M1 G2 S

If you are trying to play the song, play the S G2 M1 on the green and the D1 N2 on the Orange and your 4 to 7 year old's will be impressed!

If you are not interested in guitar playing, what I wrote may not make sense.. but if you do, you might be happy that the mixup was cleared up.

Better late than never!

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Homework: Storyboard

2009-12-05T12:59:00.000-08:00

The photoschool homework was to tell a story in three pictures..

Our story:

Pretty self explanatory, we thinks!

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Explaining the economy

2009-12-05T00:22:00.000-08:00

How does one explain the economy to a four year old?

We grew up in a poor household and as kids our understanding of the economy was simply:

"There are people with a lot more money than us we have to interact with every day. We are not rich. But it is okay. All our relatives and friends love us and we have no dearth of fun"

Over time we kind of learned (we weren't necessarily taught openly) to understand what our parents could provide for us as a default, what was pushing them to their limit, what was an extravagance for the household, etc. and would not bother to ask them for things that they might want to give us but cannot. The few times we did, we did with a lot of regret knowing the pain it would cause them.

The setting for the little one, is a lot different from the setting for me. Even Jr. understands things to an extent because we were going through a tough time when she was four, when the little one was just born and were moving from place to place and living in one room for almost 6 months.

The little one always "needs" things and "wants" things. She always compares with her sister or friends and is very temperamental, but she is also a very smart kid.

Earlier today, I gave her the usual speech about work, money, job, jobless people, expense, buying, spending, responsibility, etc. etc.

She listened to it patiently as though she cared and still wanted to get new shoes because her shoes are too tight, which is typical of four year olds because they change shoe sizes every 6 months! (and she IS going to get a new shoe).

Told her that she should listen to me and get the shoes Daddy picks for her.

She promptly ran away from me, looked at her mom and goes

"don't ask appa to buy me a shoe for 10 dollars okay.. just ask him to buy me a shoe that is one dollar!"

We both burst out laughing.

If only it was that simple!

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The old Yellow AGFA tape

2009-12-03T23:11:00.000-08:00

The tape recorder my mama (uncle) purchased in the late seventies was a novelty item in those days. It was amazing to watch how it recorded sounds and would play it back.

The tape recorder did not have a built in radio in those days. If we wanted to record programs broadcast on All India Radio, we would have to keep our Philips transistor radio (which was the size of a small TV.. not todays flat screen mini 7inch LCD's.. but CRT TV's from the nineties.. boy I talk of the nineties in the distant past.. that means I am old.. very old.. cut cut cut.. change topic!)

The one tape that always would bring me back a lot of memories was a meera bhajan (?!) on Radha. No one is sure who the singer was except grandma who tells me it was someone from Hyderabad named Sita and she was a Station director or something at AIR Hyderabad.

On my last trip, was told that the tape is "no more".

If anyone can give me a audio link to this song or even tell me correct lyrics, would really appreciate it..

It is a Hindi song and my transliteration is based on my poor grasp of the hoarse recording. But even with all that noise, the original song is just so touching that it would make me want to cry every time I listened to it. The voice was so imploring, beseeching that it would touch a yearning inside you for things that you don't know you are missing.. (okay, I really don't know what was going through my head while writing that last sentence, but for some vague reason, those are pretty much the words that come up).

Raadha pyaari thee
darohi banthi--e hamaari

gadi ek pal me
gadi ek mukh me
gadi ek avala dhari -ee saari
meera ke prabho giridhar dhar?
Charana kamal pal haari

Please do let me know.

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Trying to make a birthday gift..

2009-11-29T22:07:00.001-08:00

Was practicing a song on the guitar to play to San as a birthday gift. My trusted aid for this kind of secret activity is Jr.

However the little one cannot stand having anyone else in front of the video camera these days...

My grandma used to complain that her singing came to an end after I was born! Used to think maybe there was a curse on me and that is why any attempt to sing seriously would stop after a year max!

Now, I say the same thing that my grandma used to say. You can see for yourself what I possibly did to grandmas music sessions based on what the little one is doing to me.

Did you see how she sang "should I off your plug.. should I off your plug.." to the same tune?

So much for all that practice.

Sangeetha heard it and said "nice.. still needs more polishing"!

We will keep the polishing going till next year.

Kids, what can we tell you?!

ps. A akka gets the credit for playing this on Piano..figured out the notes from her piano playing and used my cheat sheet.

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Opportunity

2009-11-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

A friends daughter who is in middle school showed a small demo of how she does her music homework. They have a software site to log on to, and once they log on, the "sheet music" for the homework shows up. They play the musical instrument in front of the laptop and the mic pics it up. If they hit the right notes in sequence, the notes keep lighting up in green. If they hit wrong notes, it shows the note they hit in red and helps them correct.

The teacher grades this online and they know which note is a problem for the student (which they hit consistently wrong) and suggests methods to help them improve!

The software also gives student sheet music access to hundreds of music books.

If I had access to anything like this during my student days, can totally imagine spending hours on this and practicing.

Now when you are older and can afford a music lesson and can with difficulty make time (because your kids can do a lot of things by themselves), your ability to learn a new language like sheet music is more difficult.

Jr. and the little one are going to be given the opportunity to learn the fundamentals of music so they can understand and explore. What they make of it later as they grow older is up to them. We will at least try to give them the basics...

Sometimes, we live through our kids. This is one of those things...

1. They are not going to wait till they are 30 to learn how to swim.
2. They will get to learn Carnatic music formally
3. They can learn dance if they want to and can keep up with it

and now

4. they will get to learn how to read sheet music and the notation.

and maybe Daddy will learn with them...

Hey, I am just old, not dead!

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Integrating things

2009-11-26T23:57:00.000-08:00

A friend asked me how I got the Little One to sing songs and pronounce them accurately.

It was possible only by breaking it to word level, sometimes to sub word level and then putting it all together one sentence at a time.

All complex things can be broken down to simpler items.

The ability to make something complex out of simple things and the ability to understand and troubleshoot a complex entity/problem by breaking it to simpler parts is a skill set you develop (or have to develop) if you have kids.

When dealing with scientific things or logical things, it purely is an exercise in

a. right questioning and answering
b. data driven decision making
c. nomenclature or terminology used to explain things

Then you end up with things neither scientific nor logical with an audience that is very challenging (say the little one and Jr.) and all your experience as a student, teacher, integration dude, etc. is not enough!

We are talking now about the heaven phone (which was misquoted by Jr. as the Hanuman phone) that is used to call "Kollu thatha"(great grandpa) who is no longer with us.

Unable to handle the situation myself at that time of his death, I made the mistake of telling the little one that the only way to talk to Thatha now is to call him on the "heaven" phone and it is very expensive to even reach the phone which is somewhere on top of the Himalaya mountains and even after we reach the phone, there is a very long line of kids waiting to call their Thatha's and Paati's and it is also very expensive to make that call because longer the distance you call, more expensive it gets.

The little one promptly cut through my logic with many razor sharp questions like "if it is that far away and thatha already wears thick glasses, how can he be watching us? how will he know how to help us if we pray to him in times of trouble like you told us to do?" etc. etc.

Based on the experience of creating a bunch of statements in trying to bridge the gap between what is known and what is unknown, and trying to explain things to the little one, a small book can be published on the "do's and dont's" in communicating with children under the age of 5 on the topic of death, afterlife, etc.

The best line from her was "so now that thatha is in the ocean, he will come out when we go to the beach? It is all the same ocean right?"

Got visions of my Thatha's dissolving bone fragments in the Bay of Bengal, then reassembling the fragments and him reappearing in Half moon bay and walking out of the ocean, Terminator style!

It is hilarious and sad at the same time to see how Jr. corrects the little one with her knowledge of heaven.

Don't have the guts to break things in a harsh way to the kids. Who am I to decide if heaven is a bad place or not, what amenities are available, if you can still read without your glasses and walk without your walking stick etc. etc.

Since no one who has actually made it to heaven is going to writing us any books, maybe, I will write that book someday! Of course it will be all made up..

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Cheer up Grandmas!

2009-11-26T13:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Paati and Kollu Paati,

Please listen to this. We know you will like it.

Now listen to "our" singing of the same song and

1. cheer yourself up
2. tell us how we did...

Lots of Love

Jr. and the Little One

ps. If you are not our paati or Kollu paati, you can still tell us how we did. Both of us now read the comments on this blog, you know!

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Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T23:53:00.001-08:00

From the Indian American American Indian.. aka Little One who came home like this..

and Jr. who was thoroughly amused by the little one's dressing up in a pasta necklace and brown paper feathers.

The kids are going to give Kollu Paati a cheer up present tomorrow. Tomorrow promises to be an interesting day already!

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Where's your Jimik ?

2009-11-25T20:31:00.000-08:00

LO: Do you love your Jimik?

Me: !!!!????

LO: The new van you have! The Jimik!

Me: Why do you call the van a Jimik?

LO: Drags me to the van and shows me.. "See, it says Jimik here!"

We all had a good laugh. Then told her it is GMC and not Jimic.

We returned the rental back today and got back our own van all fixed and washed and looking nice again. I did not like the Jimik because it was too big, too dark (all black inside) and the buttons were too difficult to figure out. The little one started protesting when we had to return the van. Apparently she loved the Jimik!

Now that the old van is back, she told me "Actually, I like our van better. It is nice!"

Familiarity for once, has ruled!

There is also a sense of things getting back to normal with the return of the van. We will hopefully get a nice rest over the long weekend and recharge.

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Happy 29-n-th birthday

2009-11-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

Wishing Sangeetha a happy twentyninenth birthday!

The love of my life, who does a diving catch time and time again, to save this idiot from self destruction.

We are still getting over Thatha and the birthday plans are all canceled, but Surprise!

You didn't know I had these pictures of you, did you?

For my part, I will stop depressing the kids. For their part, they will surprise you by eating their breakfast on time (they have promised)

Happy birthday,

Your dear hormonal hubby!

ps. These photos were taken 29+ years ago..
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All it takes

2009-11-23T22:05:00.000-08:00

Have cried now, thanks to my mom who spent a good hour on the phone with me after reading my post (after the kids had gone to bed).

Incidentally, the video in the previous post was in the making since the 14th. My grandpa has been appearing in my dreams and thoughts since the day before my "MP3 post" on the 4th of November. Had started listening to that tape (after a gap of 2+ years) and realized it was going bad. Then figured out that using the old Walkman and some freeware (like A-Kay said) it was possible to digitize the tape.

Spent days converting that tape and canceling noise to get the audio cleaned up. Sent an email to my brother and cousin on the 14th that "Appa's voice" is now in MP3! My cousin suggested that I upload it somewhere. Having no experience in uploading to audio share sites, but having plenty of experience on Youtube, decided to have that audio as a soundtrack and put pictures of the entire family to go with the audio like a slide show.

Never realized that it would become a "In memory of" video.

I am reasonably sure that it is not a coincidence that my grandpa appears in my dreams multiple times in a span of 10 days, two weeks before his death.

Seriously, what are the odds of me vividly remembering my dreams (to the point that they feel real), what are the odds of having two such dreams and the odds of starting to make that video a week before?

Cannot think of this as coincidence. They tell you that sometimes thought and feelings can cross physical boundaries.

Told this to some of my colleagues and they thought I was going Cuckoo! The good thing is at least my mother did not think that I was going Cuckoo..

Maybe it is because "Cuckookum tan kunju pon kunju?" (see I am back to my old self already!)

The kids had a debate earlier today on what color "Thatha Angel's" wings were. The little one claims it is white like a butterfly and Jr. claims he has glass wings. To each his/her own. I cannot imagine him as the flying type.

If Appa wanted to do something in heaven, I can imagine him sitting on a mountain of folded Vethalai (betel leaves), with his silvery seeval and pugai-ilai(tobacco) box, chewing away till the cows hung their head in shame and realized that they were better off learning from the Chew master than coming home. It was not easy for him to quit chewing tobacco when he had his first heart attack almost 20 years ago, but he did it.

He also gets to hear GNB live in heaven, something which we cannot do. No more falling down often and going for stitches, no more tubes up his nose and mouth, no more having two people help him go to the bathroom, no more sleeping on rubber sheets like a baby.

As my mother put it after my crying spree, time to move on and be happy for him.

Maybe his wings are made of glass like the kid says?!

All it takes is the right person to say the right thing and this mind does wonderful things.

Tomorrow is going to be "make the wife and kids happy again day" at our house.

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Tears when you need them

2009-11-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

Have been on the phone with relatives and friends for the last 24 hours. For some strange reason, have not been able to cry.

It is like this great body of tears has all welled up somewhere and there is something that is stopping the dam from bursting out. San has cried and gotten better, Jr. who heard grandma cry over the phone, cried in turn, threw up by psyching herself and the little one did her thing as well.

For some strange reason, tears evade me. There is a lot of guilt, for making my bed here in the USA, a far away land, knowing that it would not be possible to go make it to India in times like these, within a time frame that would make any sense.

There is a rich culture and an elaborate grieving process that actually helps the people left behind, of which I am not a part of, right now. That with the guilt for having no one else to blame for this situation but myself, is not helping.

So, in an attempt to justify my internal logic, I am living in some kind of delusional world where on the one hand the death of the grandfather who epitomizes the word "love" for me is conflicting with thoughts like "I could have been living in Bombay instead of California and there could be a flood there or an airline strike there and it would be the same situation..." etc. etc.

The hamster inside the head is running at 400 GHz, quite aimlessly for it knows not how to get all those well intentioned emotions out.

My mom called me and broke down today over the phone. Somehow, news reached her that I was in an accident on thursday morning and escaped near death. As a family have had more reasons to be together than ever before, this year.

We for our part did not tell her about the accident because we did not want them to worry. They for their part did not want to tell us that Grandpa was admitted to the hospital and was in critical condition, because they didn't want us to worry. When I told my mom that maybe if she had given me a hint two days earlier, there would have been a plane ticket, she told me she knew about my accident and how I did not tell her. That sealed my lips.

Now we have sealed tear ducts and sealed lips. My school teacher mom promptly reminded me of

Home They Brought Her Warrior Dead
by Alfred Lord Tennyson

(a poem that is not easily forgotten)

Home they brought her warrior dead:
She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:
All her maidens, watching, said,
'She must weep or she will die.'

Then they praised him, soft and low,
Called him worthy to be loved,
Truest friend and noblest foe;
Yet she neither spoke nor moved.

Stole a maiden from her place,
Lightly to the warrior stepped,
Took the face-cloth from the face;
Yet she neither moved nor wept.

Rose a nurse of ninety years,
Set his child upon her knee--
Like summer tempest came her tears--
'Sweet my child, I live for thee.'

Somehow, someone needs to slap me or say or do something that will get all this stuff inside to come out.

Maybe it is fear of losing my composure in front of Jr. and the little one that is making me do this?, don't know.

Till that happens, going to walk around with a blank stare.

God knows I miss him. Thought putting this in words might help. Still doesn't.

ps. We were at Tamizh school this morning and as I waited in the car for San to drop off Jr. in class and be back, saw a grandpa carrying a little on on his hips and hold his version of Jr. by the other hand and it reminded me of my grandpa doing the same thing with me and my brother. Almost started crying and San came back with the Little one and I stopped. Sure that emotional dam will burst. Just hoping it is sooner than later!

The little one is truly blessed. She can cry on demand and get tears instantaneously for no reason.

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My Dearest Appayithathayi

2009-11-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

Earlier today there was a phone call from India. We were having an afternoon nap. Without realizing that it was day and looking at the clock and seeing 1:30, I told my mom, "isn't it too early to call me for a birthday wish. how many times do I tell you to note time difference before waking me up too early? Call me later" and my mother goes "have bad news for you, and by the way, it is afternoon for you and it is 3 AM for me! Appa is not with us anymore".

My grandfather, who I call "Appa" (daddy) because I saw my mom and all her siblings call him Appa, named me Sundararaman because he was reading "Sundara Kaandam" from Ramayana the previous week. The name implies, Rama who belongs to Sundara (also known as Hanuman or Anjaneya). A pious man who always put family first, there are so many words that rush to my mind.

My grandpa has filled our lives with happiness, tried his best to teach us how to enjoy and appreciate life, handle difficult situations and has been a role model to all his kids and grand kids (which we will pass on to his great grand kids) on how to appreciate people, god, music, and culture.

More than anything, he taught every one how to love, cherish and appreciate one's spouse. In April, when I went to visit him (last time we met), was talking to a local auto rickshaw driver near Hotel Carnival..

Me: Adayar Sri Krishna Sweets ponum pa, variya? (have to go to Adayar, will you come?)

Driver : Jodi Thatha peran dhane nee? (you are "Jodi" grandpa's grandson right?)

Me : !!!

Driver : Unga thatha mudiyudho mudiyaliyo, patti kayya pudichu enga ponalum ezhuthukitte povaru, adhanaala naanga Jodi thathannu solluvom! (your grandpa holds on to your grandmas hand and takes her with him everywhere, irrespective of wheather she can or cannot walk. So we nicknamed him "Jodi" thatha .. which means "partner" by the way!).

He lived a full life. My paati, their 6 children and families which include 11 grand children and 5 great-grand children will all miss him and will definitely celebrate his life.

It feels sad that out of all those people, I am the only one who will not be there and have to go through a grieving process remotely. It is times like these that we need to have Star Trek like Transporters made available sooner. While the rest of them are all gathered in one place as I type this to cremate him, have put together a tribute to him on youtube.

Here is to my Dear Thatha...

We love you!

ps. this is a collection of photos and videos from what was available here. the sound in the background is his reciting Ramayana in 1993 for me. He gave me that tape so I could listen to him whenever I missed him!

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The bottom drops to an all time low...

2009-11-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

Today when I picked up Jr. from school, she had a certificate.

It said something to the effect of "Congratulations on your birthday, etc. etc." and looked like a formal certificate with lots of colors on it!

Jr. said "are you proud of me, I earned that certificate"

Me: What do you mean "you earned it". You just had another birthday. You didn't work for it!

Jr. : Lived to be a year older, didn't I? (and makes a "duh" face, if you know what I mean)

Me : you lived to be a year older because your mom and me are still spoon feeding you, your breakfast and dinner and stuffing your leftover lunch in your mouth in the evening. If anything we should get the certificate.

Jr. : You are not fair. You are saying that because I got a certificate and I really earned it.

Me : !!!!!!!!!!!

Can understand people in gang infested neighborhoods feeling a sense of achievement for having lived longer and survived. But why would a seven year old living in a nice house with parents who spend 30 minutes a day with morning cereal and going to a nice school feel she earned a "birthday" certificate?

Beats me!

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Another year flies by

2009-11-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

The girls turned 7 and 4 respectively and yes, we had a great birthday party at a place called "Color Me Mine" where they got to paint little ceramic plates, cups etc. with their friends.

Next week we get to relax a little bit before Daddy and Mommy have their Joint birthday party!

Dad will turn 37 and Mom will watch Dad turn 37(Mom has remained 29 for a few years now and will maintain the status quo!)

Leaving you with a few pictures that capture the essence of our week..

On the funny side, the little one asked me if it was possible for her to be three again. I said "No. you can only grow older!" and she was very disappointed.

"I don't want to grow bigger and bigger and then die! I just want to say small!" she said. I do not know where this is coming from and will have to understand her reasoning. It did bother me that a three year old (er, four year old) is concerned about growing up and dying.

Told her that only her mom can tell her how to freeze age. "Daddy grows older and older, but mommies don't right?" and she agreed with that!!!!

Mom has no idea that she is going to be quizzed about her methods, on the way to school tomorrow..

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Two more Guitar cheat sheets

2009-11-11T23:31:00.000-08:00

Two more notation sheets for playing some complete Ragas on the Guitar. One set is relatively easy and the other one needs more practice.

Again, if you have suggestions / corrections do let me know. This is all I have from the self made teaching aids. Will go back to regular posts on life's little trivia tomorrow.

On a separate off topic note...we finally got both the kids the H1N1 vaccine today! It cost us 50 bucks in copay to do it, but it was better than waiting in a long long line. Reminded me of the special darshan pass for Thirupathi Balaji! More on that tomorrow...

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Guitar Notation from Western to Carnatic (South Indian Classical) Music

2009-11-09T22:31:00.000-08:00

For most of you who have visted our place, it is no secret that Daddy Narayanan plays electric guitar.

The rest of you know now.

Should say upfront that I am no expert and do this for the fun of it and have kept this one hobby to myself and very rarely play in front of anyone else other than Jr. and the little one.

Have been looking for a simple graphical cheat sheet to help people who are taught guitar on the western notation (or with Guitar tabs!) to translate Carnatic notation and have not found anything that you can print and hang on the wall as a quick start guide of sorts.

My teacher Paul is amazing because he reads my mind. He almost knows what I am thinking when I play, and figures out from my body language what makes me happy and what bothers me while playing.

After my long absence from the guitar studio with the accident, the physiotherapist suggested that the guitar lessons could start as it would be a good motivator for me to keep going back to physio. Their logic was "if you see your guitar playing improve and get easier over time, you will realize the work we do here" and they were right on!

Paul has been doing "guitar rehab" last couple of weeks. Was telling him that over the last two months, have been listening to more South Indian Classical music and less of 70's rock as the accident makes one moody and there is a lot of solace in listening to what you are used to as a child. He asked me to play something (anything) and I showed him "Raghuvamsa Sudha" and he said "okay, that was great, but why look frustrated?" and I told him that it would be nice to know what note is what on the fretboard instead of having to figure out note by note!

He smiled a big smile and gave me a cheat sheet for the entire fretboard and taught me each note. It was like giving my little one "high fructose corn syrup"! It was like the mystery of the fretboard revealed in one shot. Almost like God made himself visible to me on that green piece of paper!

Decided to make him proud by doing this sheet to convert to Carnatic notation and as an added bonus, included the octave information as a color code.

The Guitar is an amazing instrument. The fingerboard has multiple individual locations that give you the same note in the same octave! Isn't that a nice curve ball?

Hopefully this cheat sheet is reasonably accurate and will help beginner guitar players who are not new to Carnatic notation play classical (or Tamil film) songs!

ps. If you find this useful or you are going to post this somewhere, please do link back to this post.

pps. If there are any mistakes, do point them out and let me know. It will be much appreciated and will update this.

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