Sunday Mercury - Mr Dale's Diarytag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008-02-08:/mr-dales-diary//1822009-01-31T23:13:12ZMovable Type Enterprise 4.21-enDoes my bum look big in this?tag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2009:/mr-dales-diary//182.1196612009-02-02T23:12:12Z2009-01-31T23:13:12ZA woman stands in the nude looking in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband: "I feel horrible. I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment." The husband replies: "Your eyesight's good!"...Dale Martin
<p>A woman stands in the nude looking in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband: "I feel horrible. I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."</p>
<p>The husband replies: "Your eyesight's good!"</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/gxQ6ycgoYII" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2009/02/does-my-bum-look-big-in-this.htmlBeware handymentag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2009:/mr-dales-diary//182.1196602009-02-01T23:10:04Z2009-01-31T23:11:27ZA wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife he'd lost their entire fortune and they'd have to drastically alter their lifestyle. "If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef." "Okay,"...Dale Martin
<p>A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife he'd lost their entire fortune and they'd have to drastically alter their lifestyle.</p>
<p>"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."</p>
<p>"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/2toQhuJcHEs" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2009/02/beware-handymen.htmlObama must be bloomin' madtag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2009:/mr-dales-diary//182.1196592009-01-31T23:06:33Z2009-01-31T23:07:25ZQ. Why is President Obama bulldozing the Rose Garden? A. He doesn't want any Bushes at the White House....Dale Martin
<p>Q. Why is President Obama bulldozing the Rose Garden?</p>
<p>A. He doesn't want any Bushes at the White House.</p>
<p><br />
</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/6p0EamvRaw0" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2009/01/obama-must-be-bloomin-mad.htmlArrrghhhhtag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2009:/mr-dales-diary//182.1141472009-01-04T11:28:20Z2009-01-02T11:31:32ZHow do you have a party in outer space? You plan-et....Steve Wollaston
<p>How do you have a party in outer space?<br />
<br />
You plan-et. </p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/w5OpwnsXqgw" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2009/01/arrrghhhh.htmlLaugh - I dare you.tag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2009:/mr-dales-diary//182.1141452009-01-03T11:28:20Z2009-01-02T11:30:28ZHow did the artist paint a picture? Easel-y....Steve Wollaston
<p>How did the artist paint a picture? </p>
<p>Easel-y. </p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/97QGfzfXTjg" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2009/01/laugh---i-dare-you.htmlThe bad jokes are backtag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2009:/mr-dales-diary//182.1141432009-01-02T11:28:20Z2009-01-02T11:28:54ZWhat happens when two snails fight? They slug it out....Steve Wollaston
<p>What happens when two snails fight? </p>
<p>They slug it out. </p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/j4SR3XIqu8s" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2009/01/the-bad-jokes-are-back.htmlMotto for the day (2)tag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1019102008-11-04T06:15:40Z2008-10-31T14:16:33ZI used to be really indecisive. But now I'm not so sure ......Dale Martin
<p>I used to be really indecisive.</p>
<p>But now I'm not so sure ...</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/hVRaHSZViEc" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/11/motto-for-the-day-2.htmlMotto for the day (1)tag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1019062008-11-03T08:14:43Z2008-10-31T14:15:32ZI used to be apathetic. But now I don't really care....Dale Martin
<p>I used to be apathetic.</p>
<p>But now I don't really care.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/93neKuNDLF4" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/11/motto-for-the-day-1.htmlPointless exercisetag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1019042008-11-02T08:13:09Z2008-10-31T14:14:29ZDid I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? Never mind. It had no point....Dale Martin
<p>Did I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil?</p>
<p>Never mind. It had no point.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/GFYNVPlNrCY" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/11/pointless-exercise.htmlWho bother taking your dog to the vet's?tag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1019032008-11-01T06:00:29Z2008-10-31T14:12:54ZQ: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard. (It's good for hot dogs.)...Dale Martin
<p>Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?</p>
<p>A: Mustard. (It's good for hot dogs.)</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/7cjTmkdDzFE" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/11/who-bother-taking-your-dog-to.htmlHalloween joketag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1019002008-10-31T07:00:00Z2008-10-31T18:28:31ZWhy don't angry witches ride their brooms on Halloween? They're afraid of flying off the handle!...Dale Martin
<p>Why don't angry witches ride their brooms on Halloween?</p>
<p>They're afraid of flying off the handle!</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/yL91aI3zLPg" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/10/halloween-joke.htmlTrout pouttag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1018982008-10-30T08:10:33Z2008-10-31T18:25:50Z A man walks in to the chippy with a trout under his arm. "Got any fish cakes?" he asks. The chippy bloke shakes his head: "No, sorry." "That's a shame," says the man. "It's my old trout's birthday."...Dale Martin
<p><br />
A man walks in to the chippy with a trout under his arm.</p>
<p>"Got any fish cakes?" he asks.</p>
<p>The chippy bloke shakes his head: "No, sorry."</p>
<p>"That's a shame," says the man. "It's my old trout's birthday."</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/FuBbbxmFxU4" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/10/trout-pout.htmlGross chili joke leaves bad taste in the mouthtag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1018972008-10-29T06:00:00Z2008-10-31T18:27:55ZA young bloke walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in Sandwell. He sits at the counter and notices an older man with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowl of chili. After about 15 minutes of...Dale Martin
<p>A young bloke walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in Sandwell.</p>
<p>He sits at the counter and notices an older man with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowl of chili.</p>
<p>After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young man bravely asks: "If you're not going to eat that, mind if I do?"</p>
<p>The older man slowly turns his head toward the youngster and says: "Be my guest!"</p>
<p>Eagerly, the young man reaches over and slides the bowl over, starting to spoon it into his mouth with delight.</p>
<p>He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight is so shocking he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.</p>
<p>The old man quietly says: "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."<br />
</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/kRXXSHwVYtg" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/10/gross-chili-joke-leaves-bad-ta.htmlNever mind the chicken crossing the road ... tag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1018952008-10-28T06:07:32Z2008-10-31T18:27:27ZWhats a Hindu? Lays eggs!...Dale Martin
<p>Whats a Hindu?</p>
<p>Lays eggs!</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/mhswdEsGPWY" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/10/never-mind-the-chicken-crossin.htmlRubbish mannerstag:blogs.sundaymercury.net,2008:/mr-dales-diary//182.1018942008-10-27T08:00:35Z2008-10-31T18:26:59ZThere were these three people called Rubbish, Manners, and Go away. They were all related since they were all brothers. One day Rubbish got flattened by a train, so Manners started to sweep him up. Then, a policeman came up...Dale Martin
<p>There were these three people called Rubbish, Manners, and Go away. They were all related since they were all brothers.</p>
<p>One day Rubbish got flattened by a train, so Manners started to sweep him up. Then, a policeman came up to Go away and asked: "What is your name?"</p>
<p>Go away replied: "Go away."</p>
<p>The policeman said, "Now really! Please, I only need your name. What is it?"</p>
<p>Go away said simply: "Go away."</p>
<p>The police started to angry at this point. "Just say your name and I'll go away!" he hissed. "What is your name?"</p>
<p>"Go away."</p>
<p>The policeman got very frustrated here. He glared at go away and asked: "Where's your manners?"</p>
<p>"Sweeping up Rubbish."</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SundayMercury-MrDalesDiary/~4/5UJl51efSBY" height="1" width="1"/>http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/mr-dales-diary/2008/10/rubbish-manners.html