$unganani

Why Does Marriage Require Continuous Adjustment?

2011-02-04T11:48:00.001+02:00

Ask that question again.

“Why does marriage require continuous adjustment?”

Interesting question. Seems to be asking the obvious but it’s the obvious that bring the giants down…in most cases.

The way I see it, marriage requires continuous adjustment because the spouses are changing all the time.

And it is wise to keep that constant of change in mind.

First, it was just you.

Then you met her.

Both of you changed during that courtship time.

You do not stop changing.

Think about it.

You are thrilled with just being the two of you for a while. Then, if you are among the majority who are blessed with a child, you realize pretty quickly that a third dynamic has entered into your relationship. Your priorities need changing.

Then a second one comes long and a third. Your bodies change, your emotions change, you grow wiser (hopefully!).

So the woman I married over a decade ago is a significantly changed individual. I look in the mirror and I see change. You have mid-life crisis, menopause, empty nest, grand children…

To answer the question: your marriage requires continuous adjustment because you are changing. The wiser you realize that and adjust, the better for you.

Can You Say "Be My Fiancée" When You Propose?

2011-01-27T14:53:00.001+02:00

I got this question and almost laughed. Before I answer this question, let me tell you why.

When I proposed to my wife I was actually looking for a wife. At that stage I could have asked her to be my wife, fiancée was almost playground for me. My reason has to do with past experience. However, i had to cool my jets and work with a few crucial variables.

Anyway, to answer this question, there are several things to consider.

Consider the level of your relationship/acquaintance.

You might shock the woman by just asking her to be your fiancé if you just met her two weeks before. Catch my drift? However, if you have been going out for a while, it just might be the appropriate thing to say. Ultimately you are the judge of this one.

What would be socially acceptable?

You exist in a community. There are some things that are expected of you otherwise you get filed in the “weird” department. So would it be culturally/socially acceptable to propose by asking her to be your “fiancée”?

But Seriously

Do you want a fiancé or a wife? Fiancé is really a term referring to a transition isn’t it? I would shoot for the real thing if I were you.

Things I Remember Today

2011-01-15T08:12:00.002+02:00

I remember how I enjoyed working with the organization for a straight eight years. Lives changed, team work and money struggles in the final three years.

I remember how I would stay awake at night praying for our daughter’s next tin of milk…and we didn’t have enough money to buy one.

I remember how my wife and I fought over how to spend a $10 someone gave us.

I remember how I had to make a painful decision to leave the organization, people and city
I had grown to love.

I remember how my wife would ask the tough questions about what our life was becoming.

I remember how I could not skirt around the issue any longer.

I remember long nights of asking the Lord what next…and Heaven seemed silent.

I remember when Heaven finally gave direction, and how I resigned without any concrete plans. That was December, 2005.

I remember how God sent us money through two people and we moved to another city to live with a family with their own financial challenges. Ours seemed like play school. That was a total of ten people in one house.
And we lived like that for three months.

I remember how we went on holiday for a month and we came back having gained a lot of weight. I didn’t realize stress can physically wear you out.

I remember how I drove a 600 km round trip to a town by Lake Malawi to order fish for sell. It sold in a week and I thought this is the business I will capitalize on.

I remember saying I will never look for a job again…and how my wife had her reservations.

I remember how we lived for three months with another family in Lilongwe, the capital city. One house, two families, a total of 7 people.

I remember how I started several other businesses which crashed and burned.

I remember swallowing my pride and applying for several jobs…and how they didn’t take me.

I remember having to tell my son and daughter “We don’t have enough money for that” many times.

And I remember how that hurt bad inside.

I remember how I worked at one job for nine months with great people in 2008 but I resigned again.

Because He gave me no peace about the direction I was taking.

I remember the shock I gave my colleagues and family by resigning. Some things you can't explain clearly for everyone, least of all, yourself.

I remember a man who would teach me and ask me about what my life really is all about.

I remember how he taught me how he run his business…for free.

I remember a church elder who would tell me stories from his life experiences as an answer to the questions I had for him. He gave me hope. He had been there.

I remember a family member investing heavily in my current business.

I remember how the investment began to pay off.

I remember the day we paid off our $500 debt and several other people we owed.

And how I was able to take my wife to dinner.

And pay for her saloon bill.

And pay school fees for our children on our own.

I remember to thank God for my family and my wife's family. Terrific support all time.

I remember to remember to value friends and do things together.

I remember how a friend decided to invest in me and teach me about money from the
Bible.

He also taught me about business.

And giving, tithing and investing.

He said God is the best business partner.

I remember how I started seeing God blessing the “work of my hands”.

I remember how I stopped praying for money and started praying for wisdom.
And how that changed the way I look at money.

I remember the many times we have bought our second son milk, several tins at one time.

I remember the many times I have thanked God for this journey.

I remember the several people I have helped by sharing my story.

I remember a brother who rebuked me for developing the love of money and ignore the expense of God’s calling.

I remember how he has kept checking on me.

I remember the necessary wounds he caused me...and how I thank him for that.

I remember how the Lord has began to honour Matthew 6:33 in our family.

I remember that God will never leave me nor forsake me and he his an ever present help in time of trouble.

I remember that he loves to love and walk with me.

I remember that tomorrow is not promised to me so today is the only day I have.

I remember that he has give me a mission to pursue.
And I remember that the journey continues.

What do you remember?

James Cameron’s Avatar 2 : African Girl Wants In

2011-01-13T14:16:00.001+02:00

Technorati Tags: James Cameron avatar 2 avatar

After watching the much talked about "“Avatar” by acclaimed film maker James Cameron, I must say I was not impressed as much as expected. After the “Titanic”, I expected a much more engaging story.

The story line is not that new and I had issues with the spiritual content of the movies (from a Christian standpoint) but that is a topic for another day.

What I was impressed with is the detail in which Cameron went to create the fantasy world and the way he weaves that detail in the story line. As a graphic designer, you have to take your hat off to Cameron. He did a good job.

Now word is out that he is cooking up some ideas for “Avatar 2” and I am excited.

Something happened last week. My daughter came up to the car window and screamed “Daddy take a picture, take a picture.” So I did.

Later did it hit me that I really need to get in touch with James Cameron because I think I have the next star for Avatar 2. Compare the pictures below (my girl is on the right;

Aww come on, just having fun.

New Year Resolutions–Why I Don’t Have Any

2011-01-04T05:34:00.001+02:00

The new year of 2011 came and I was awake at midnight like most people but the one thing I did not do (I guess like most people) was to make any resolutions.
Huh?
No resolutions and that’s not a typo. No resolutions this year, just like last year and the year before that. In fact I have gone several years without making resolutions.
Here is why;
They just don’t work for me. I am told it is Albert Einstein who said

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing

over and over and expecting different results."

You know, like using the same marketing strategy although it does not bring in or improve sales at all but do it because it is the convention.A resolution means a decision.
So I found a better way than resolutions: goals. SMART goals.
S – specific. You should know, in specific terms what you are shooting for.
M – measurable. This is so you can see when your goal has been reached.
A – Action oriented. Indicate activities that will produce results. See, nothing happens until something or someone moves. So move it.
R – realistic. Should be practical and can be achieved, recorded and reviewed regularly.
T – time framed. Should have have definite deadline for completion.

So here is one of mine this year: I want to reduce my weight by 10 kg by July 1, 2011. I will accomplish this through a combination of a semi-vegetarian diet and regular exercise of 45 minutes three times per week.
Seriously.
And I have the benefits listed like, I won’t have to buy new clothes, I will fill and be fit…
So, why don’t I have any resolutions this year?
I have found a better way.
Takes work.
But it works.
Here is to a blessed new year.

Technorati Tags: happy new year,2011,new year resolutions

Merry Christmas for 2010

2010-12-25T17:27:00.001+02:00

To all my readers: have yourself a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year full of good influence.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without Jesus Christ.

Peace.

What People Do With What They Know

2010-12-03T05:56:00.001+02:00

It always never stops to amaze me: what people do with what they know.

Remember the chalk board/black board/ green board and all the knowledge you have attained through it?

Knowledge is big business now just as it was from time immemorial.

Years ago, some prophet wrote

⁶ my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.

   “Because you have rejected knowledge,
   I also reject you as my priests;
because you have ignored the law of your God,
   I also will ignore your children.

Hosea 4:6 (Emphasis mine)

Knowledge is power. Fact. Proven and very true. You are reading this because you’ve got knowledge…

However, isn’t it amazing that the majority of people know that it is good to exercise and yet they don’t. So they keep on gaining weight and wonder why the feel the blah’s and keep on buying clothes to fit.

Most parents know that children that live with criticism grow get broken spirits and yet they still criticize them at every turn.

If you drink alcohol like a fish, you shouldn’t drive. Yet almost every weekend I see a car that’s bashed in because, you guessed it, the driver was drunk.

Most people know that they are not earning enough but they choose not to do anything about it. The one thing they do is to complain…this produces nothing positive. And that is where I want to emphasize.

Based on what you know, you either act on it or ignore what the Law of your God says about the issue. Did you see that?

If you are not earning enough money here is what you do: accept what the knowledge in the word of God (Bible) says and act upon it. Do not ignore it. Ignorance is not bliss and what you don’t know or know can kill you.

Earning less is definitely killing you in a sense, maybe even literally. So you either die with all the knowledge that you could have made your earnings better or you “come back from the dead” using the knowledge you find.

Take your pick.

Why Do Some Marriages Stop Working?

2010-11-25T05:16:00.002+02:00

We have seen them all; impressive weddings. So impressive that they become talk of the town. How much money was spent, raised, the looks, who was there, with whom, what they wore, did and all.
Inside you go on a trip and substitute yourself with that couple. C’mon, am I the one here? Honestly?
Moving on.
Then the newly weds speed of to their honeymoon. Some exotic destination complete with “all expenses paid for”. The bill alone could roof the house you dream of building. So you wave goodbye just like everyone else lest you feel out of place.
Fast forward a couple of years. For some its 2 or 5 or 17 or 25 and you get a picture that looks something like this;

Could have been worse.
Hey, what happened here?
They no longer talk.
They no longer laugh.
There is a lot of “longers” that they don’t do.
So the question is: “Why do some marriages stop working?”
Help me out. Here are a few reasons I have found why some marriages stop working
No longer appreciate your spouse.

Forget that marriage requires continuous adjustment to each other. For instance, after child birth, wife’s body changes and does not to revert to what is used to be. Husband does not like that. Or he is growing a pot belly and she misses that six pack…
Spiritual attack. Let’s face it, Satan is on an all out wall to destroy marriage…and we lazily just let things invade our marriage without putting up defense mechanism.
Careers. Responsible for long distance relationships where you commute or email, Skype, Facebook chat to keep in touch.

Hey help me grow this list. Add yours to this discussion and share with some friends.

Don’t Be Afraid of Being Rich…Seriously.

2010-10-28T04:05:00.000+02:00

Technorati Tags: how to become rich,how to become wealthy

But we must be seriously prepared for a life of wealth and riches. There is a proper mentality that goes with being rich or wealthy. Miss that and you would wish you were never rich in the first place.

That said, I will go on to say that we should not be afraid of being rich. There is a lot more that can be accomplished when you are rich if we are to believe the scripture that says that

“A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything.” Ecclesiastes 10:19

Truth be said, most of us dream or have dreamt of being rich for various reasons.

But we are afraid.

Very afraid.

Reasons abound:

It is ungodly or even sinful to be rich.
Those who are rich must have done some really terrible thing(s) to be rich.
Once I become rich, I will be bewitched.
I am not “worthy” to become rich.
They believe there is something “evil” about more money, being rich and wealthy.

And there are lot’s more hilarious but true reasons than the ones on that list.

Back to the fear factor.

Consider these verses from the Bible

Mat 28:18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
Mat 28:19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
Mat 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. (Emphasis mine)

And these ones

Rom 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Rom 8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

Here is my favorite

2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

The famous one

1Ti 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

You will do well to read the whole chapter on this one to see that God wants rich people in his Kingdom.

How do we prepare?

Get the right knowledge from scripture about riches and wealth.
Put it into practice.
Share it.
Rinse and repeat. It’s an ongoing thing.

So do not be afraid of being rich and wealthy. Rather, embrace it after being armed with what the Word of God teaches about it.

There is lots more in store for you.

Why Most People are Not Rich

2010-09-28T16:06:00.001+02:00

"People are born with everything necessary within them to enable them become rich. Sadly, as they grow up, they learn how to become poor!"
Henry Kachaje

Think about it...seriously, I will wait.

Done already? That was quick.

It puzzles me when I see a lot of people just accept their lot in life and resign to growing. When I take my kids to school, I drive with or drive past others who are going to various types of trades: teaching, accounting, managers, welders ad infinitum.

And I can't help to wonder: do they have a winning formular for their life?

Do they want to do this until they retire?

I seriously believe that one should not be employed all your productive years. There should be a time when you should either be deployed or deploy yourself. The very same skill that you are being employed for when properly positioned and utilized, can help you live in abundance.

Three examples:

A friend of mine resigned from the government at a high post and went into consulting. The government now pays him a lot more than it gave him while being their employee. He has gone on to make several investments for himself and his family.
Another friend was fired from his job and started a business supplying vehicle spare parts. He is doing far better than when he was at his job.
Yours truly. I am seriously working on deploying myself with my new found skills and am already running businesses that will enable me to make significant investments for my family.

Whether you are deployed or deploy yourself , you have to be deliberate about it. All the wealth is in you. You just have to ask God to help you get it out.

In the next post I will be talking about dealing with what you believe about yourself as a block to living in abundance.

Later

Get this: Rich Dad's Retire Young, Retire Rich

Poverty Is A Belief of the Heart, Not a Condition of Being Without Money

2010-09-14T14:44:00.003+02:00

Technorati Tags: what is poverty

It never ceases to amaze me, that in my country, which is ranked among the 10 poorest in Africa (last time I checked) has people from other countries who come and make huge investments which bring in a lot of money. Then I ask myself, where have the Malawians got it wrong? Here are some of the things I have seen done by foreign investors which Malawians can do;

They grow flowers for sale abroad. Flowers!
They open up supermarkets.
They bake bread.
They run mini buses, taxis and car hire companies.
They open up private schools.
Or grow paprika, soya, beans.

After watching quite a few of them, I finally had to agree with the statement Dr C. Thomas Anderson told me “Poverty is a belief of the heart, not a condition of being without money.” And by far, most poor Malawians are like this. You just have to listen to the local radios and pick out he lyrics of popular songs and you will see what I mean. We seem to have bought in wholesale that we are poor and need help. I agree but I wonder if we are getting the right kind of help.

As long as we believe this and stop there, then there will be no end to the poverty we have. All our poverty alleviation programs will do a full circle and we will end up where we started. I long for more programs that will challenge our thinking so that we begin to see things differently. Thankfully some have come up but I wish for more. If foreign investors (and I am thankful that they come because I am learning tons from them for free) can see the wealth in this country, how come we don’t? The answer: our belief system is all warped as regards poverty and wealth. Only when we change our mindset about poverty and wealth shall we see things change. For example;

“Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Solomon David as quoted in Proverbs 10:4.

The word “lazy” means remissness, treachery: - deceit (-ful, -fully), false, guile, idle, slack, slothful.

So, if we want to reduce or eradicate poverty, we should deal away with falseness, laziness, being idle or deceitful. We need to carry out our enterprise with diligence. If we truly develop this belief and entrench it in our hearts, that will be one step away from poverty and towards wealth.

I say bravo to Malawians who have or are working diligently to move themselves from a poverty mentality to a wealth mentality. One man I recently read about in the papers quit journalism (and he was pretty good one too) and went into pig farming. His life has improved far better than when he was a journalist. It all started by following a desire he had when he was young; he had seen someone do pig farming and live well. He simply set himself up and copied that someone and a few successful others. Not all journalists can do pig farming, some simply need to watch successful journalists and copy them.

What do you think?

Is it wrong to pray for money? Why Won’t God Do a Miracle for Me?

2010-09-07T04:45:00.001+02:00

Is it wrong to pray for money? Yes and No. Let me explain.

No it is not wrong to pray for money. You need to pray for money because you need it and God knows you do. However, stopping at prayer alone will not always be the best thing. Let me explain: I have known God to do miracles and bail out Christians out of financial difficulties. He does those kinds of miracles. However, He also does provide through “work of our hands” (see Psalm 1). You need to have something that you are doing for Him to bless. He may use a job promotion or bonus. It may be a client who brings in the needed business that will give the just the amount of money needed.
Yes it is wrong to pray for money if your motives are wrong.¹What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? ²You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. ³When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (James 4:1-4). This means your heart needs to be clean before the Lord. Sometimes the Lord does not do miracles because we do not have things in place. If He is going to give you manna for 40 years, you’d better have containers to hold that manna for the day.. Get it? If you don’t well, let’s just way we can’t have that. When you pray for money, is should always be for something bigger than you. That’s the way I see it.

So what I am saying is that praying for money is a yes and no kind of thing because there are conditions attached. I would rather advocate for praying for wisdom to get your situation sorted out. Are you in debt? Pray for wisdom on how to get out of that situation and work on it…because God will work out a way by blessing the work of your hands. Yes, He will work out a miracle and have money come to you mysteriously but in my life, the first one seems to be the order of the day.

Technorati Tags: is it wrong to pray for money? why won't God do a miracle for me,pray for money

Learning About Money by Getting A Grip On Yourself

2010-09-02T05:27:00.007+02:00

Money continues to rule much of our lives, if not all of it. A whole lot of us have let it run our lives instead of us running it. That’s is wrong and it certainly is not a nice way to live. Get a grip on yourself and begin to master it. Here is how;
1. Define Money Objectively
Most of us define money from sources that were misinformed, or had interests to get more money from us. At the very heart of it all, money is a medium of exchange. Period. It represents value, it is not the value. Define money objectively from the Bible and you will be surprised how much that book has to say about it.

Study the characteristics of money, what it is able to be or do. Why men and women fight for it, work for it, like it, hate it and then find out where you stand.

2. Change Your Thinking
Chances are once you start studying money, you will realize that you need to change your thinking about it. For instance “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” (1 Tim 6:10). I learned that money is not evil or righteous. It is just a tool for those who are evil…or righteous. Huh? Because from verse 17, Timothy is encouraged to encourage the rich Christians to use their money for good. I have since changed my thinking. I embrace the thought of having more money so that I can do more good.
There are those who have gone before you and I. Learn from the successful. There are plenty of them out there. I have my list at the end of this article just to get you started.
Change your thinking.

3. Operate Differently

Once you embark on the journey of changing your thinking, you can’t help realizing that you have to do things differently. The way you think will determine the way you behave. I will know how you think by the way you behave.
If these three things are not done you will go around the cycle just like you did before and wonder why things are not improving. Your financial situation will not change because someone else will do something about it, but because you will do something about it. Nothing happens until something moves. You’ve got to move something.

Resources to Get You Started

The Bible. You will be surprised what you find. Enough said.
Henry Kachaje's Money 101. A comprehensive and practical course on how you should change your thinking about money. Henry speaks with the passion of one who has walked the road from lack to abundance. And he is still walking. Contact me so I can link you with him.
Cashflow Quadrant: Rich Dad's Guide to Financial Freedom from the best selling author of "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" comes this book that will show you where you are in the money game and challenge you to reposition yourself.
Becoming a Millionaire God's Way: Getting Money to You, Not from You Pastor Thomas Anderson writes from the perspective of poor pastor to millionaire pastor. These are the lessons he has taught his congregation, with amazing results for those who put them into practice.

Driving Your Automatic Car Efficiently: Decoding the Gear

2010-08-23T09:38:00.003+02:00

There are some people I know who swore that they would never ever buy an automatic car because;

“It consumes too much fuel.”
“It is difficult and expensive to maintain.”
“If brakes fail, that’s it. You are gone.”

These days you are more likely to find more automatic cars for sale than a manual ones.
The first thing you have to get used to is the fact that you won’t be changing your gear that much. I didn’t think much about the gears in automatic car until I bought one and had to drive close to 2,000km in it. Thankfully, I was with this very knowledgeable mechanic who taught me what you are about to read. Now I appreciate the automatic car a lot more. Ok, on with the show.

P – this one is easy. It stands for PARK. Basically, you engage this one when you…well, park you car! Duh. Your engine can start while you are in this gear. This is not the only one though.
R – REVERSE. You engage this one because, well, you want to go backwards. That’s profound. Haha.
N- this one stands for NEUTRAL. Technically, your gearbox is not engaged with the engine if you are in neutral. You engage this at traffic lights, junction etc. Mum gets furious if you engage this as you drive but that’s another story. You can also start the engine while in this gear.
D – DRIVE. You want to move forward? This will get you going. It is likely that you can get to wherever you are going in this gear.
2 – Engage this one when you are going uphill. Do not go over 60km/hr and you will see your car go up with ease. Also used where the road is rough, slippery or if you have a big load. You can also use it when negotiating hairpin bends like those in Karonga and Chikwawa/Chikhwawa. (Now I am confused!)
Stay below 60km/hr when you are going downhill and you won’t have to replace your brake pads soon. I have proved this one time and time again.
1 – This is basically a more extreme level of everything in gear 2.
The red button (or some variation of it) works like this: when you start your car in P, you will not be able to move the gear to P unless you have your foot on the brake. If the brake fails, take your foot off, press that button and move that gear. It will work. Think of it as a back up.
Enjoy your driving.

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Driving Your Automatic Car Efficiently: The Overdrive Button

2010-08-18T16:54:00.001+02:00

Anything automatic is supposed to make our life easier but I have quickly come to learn that we tend to loose more because things are automated. A good example is the mighty remote control. It is supposed to automate the process of you getting up from your couch to flip the channels on the decoder. In my house, I am constantly fighting the members of the family (who shall remain nameless). They put the remote control on top of the TV screen. Hellooooo. This is supposed to be on the couch or somewhere near it to automate the process. I want to talk about automatic transmission vehicles.

Have you seen this in your car?

I mean the O/D OFF light? If you haven’t, it means one of two things: 1. You don’t drive an automatic car (A/T) or 2. You have “the button” activated or 3. You really should begin to take notice. The button in question is this one in the picture below

Placement will differ depending on the nature of the design but it will be on the gear stick.

WHAT DOES O/D OFF MEAN"?

In plain English: OVERDRIVE OFF. If you are like me, you should have spent quite some time driving the manual transmission types (MT). Most of them came with gear 5 which was also referred to as the “overdrive gear”. You engaged gear 5 if you were doing over 60km per hour. I am told it saves fuel somehow because your engine does less revolutions per minute for more speed.

The O/D OFF button does the same thing. It is the gear 5 of the AT transmission. Unfortunately, I see and hear a lot of drivers telling me that have it on because it saves fuel. Work with me here.

You are doing 40 km/h and you have engaged the O/D button, how are you saving fuel by overworking your engine? Beats me.

The way this works is that once you hit 60km/h plus, you can turn it on. You will literary feel the car “release” itself to do more speed. If you watch your rev meter, it will drop in revolutions per minute and yet you will be going faster and somehow save fuel. Much like the MT’s gear 5.

Before I sign off, here is another tip: when slowing down from your speeding zone (>80km/h) you should disengage the button (i.e. display the O/D OFF), you will notice the engine slowing down. It’s a form or engine brake.

So be good on your pocket, use that button wisely. Next time I will talk about how to use the different gear levels P,N,D,2,1. It’s not as obvious as you think.

Why I Am Thankful for My Wife (for husbands only…and snoopy others)

2010-08-16T11:42:00.001+02:00

We take so much for granted. Really, if you took stock. It would surprise you how close to arrogant you become for the the people you have around you…especially after 10 years. Let me explain.

It did not occur to me that “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health” can bring such a soul searching experience. Two weeks ago my dear wife had malaria. From my part of the world, that is just another one of those things you grow up with. She was given medication and on day 2, after finishing her dosage, ready for this? She got worse.

So we went back to the clinic and they found out that she had pneumonia and she would have to be admitted. No sir, doctor said there was no way she was going home in that condition. An hour later, I had to be by her side for a long while. There were several other life-threatening complications that came with that diagnosis.

“For better or for worse, in sickness and in health”. Who ever came up with those words really went through stuff.

You have no idea what was going on in my mind in those two days. Anyway, she was discharged on the second day and she took another week to recover. Here is the issue: in two days, I was able to evaluate my priorities regarding relationships. It’s amazing how close you can grow in 10 years and how much you depend on each other…or at least should be.

Life gets in the way. We loose sight of the people that really matter and how much they mean to us. We need to be intentional in loving the people that really matter to us. I finally made a decision that I was going to notch things up a bit: love this woman like today was the last day of her life…everyday.

Yes it’s possible.

If you take the Lord Jesus in your life seriously.

So what if I slacken? I will get off the ground. Dust myself and get back in the saddle. We only get one shot in this life. Give it all you’ve got.

And the next generation will see that with God, all things are possible.

Today I am taking her out for lunch.

You?

Which Is Which?

2010-07-31T13:00:00.001+02:00

There is some simmering debate in Malawi about introducing condoms in primary schools. It was in the papers recenctly. The arguments ranged from sensible to down-right laughable. I got interested because my kids are in primary school.

It really is not fair. Really, really. I mean I, like most of the folks in my generation, grew up being told that carnal intimacy was "zopusa" (foolishness/stupidity) and we were supposed to stay away from it at all costs. There were amazing reasons for us not to engage it but that's for another day.

We knew and were told of instances were a man and a woman were "caught in the act" of doing "zopusa". Kind of wondered what the whole thing was all about.

In our teen years we got to learn "zopusa" in school in the name of Biology and I for one was wondering why it was being taught.

From my early to mid twenties I read and was taught a lot about physical intimacy between married man and woman. Much of the teaching was based on the Bible. By the time I was preparing for marriage, even the Paster put in a lesson or two and even had the verses to back it up. I was married and presto "zopusa" just got blessed overnight!

So the struggle I had to go through was to change my thinking. With three children in tow, I am thinking "how to I teach them that it is only 'zopusa' if done out of context?"

Because I am thinking it is not fair to give them a mindset that it is foolishness then turn around and expect them to understand that because they are married, zopusa just became blessed.

And I am still thinking, how are the yet to be married thinking about the whole affair? How have they been taught?

What's the way out?

My Wife Is Taller Than Me…And She Likes High Heeled Shoes

2010-07-27T07:44:00.002+02:00

Here is a fact: my wife is taller than me and she likes high heeled shoes. Most men have problems with that just like I used to, but not anymore. The “why” is another question for another day…perhaps. Here is my journey of changing from being intimidated to loving it.

Surprised by God

I used to pray to the Lord that I would like to marry, among other things, a tall woman. Believe it or not. I said “tall woman”, I didn’t say “a woman taller than me”. Turns out that the woman I am married to is taller than me…and she likes wearing high heels. For some reason, I felt small for a while until I would think of two couples who had a similar situation. Actually it was far different from mine. These women in the pair I’ve picked were way taller than their husbands. then I started thinking that perhaps height has very little with successful marriage…however you define that.

Be careful what you pray for, you may get it. It’s in God’s nature to answer you more than you can ask, imagine or think (Ephesians 3:20).

You made your own bed, sleep in it.

I definitely knew that this is the woman I wanted to marry except for those high heels. Most of the times we had a date, you guessed it, she was in those heels. Even during our engagement ceremony and on our wedding day, she was in high heels. It was an interesting and sometimes painful journey especially when others would joke about the FACT.

There is more to our relationship than height and other things physical.

Hidden Lesson?

Perhaps this was allowed for me to keep humble and treat her well I don’t know. But these days the thought of her being taller than me is actually a joke we laugh about. Really really.
I certainly do not regret having met and married her.

Open Message

Message to my shorter than wife brothers: enjoy the woman God gave you. He certainly knew she would complement you.
Later,

How Fast Can You Get Out Of Your House?

2010-07-21T16:50:00.001+02:00

Really. I am looking for the number of minutes it would take you, in the event of an emergency like fire, earthquake, flash floods etc. How quickly can you get out of your house?

We had earthquakes some months ago and I went through 5 locked doors (including a gate) to get outside…without the rest of my family. I was shocked. Thankfully it wasn’t a big one and no damage was done but the experience gave me a lot of questions about my family’s safety in such an event.

Let’s think about this for a minute; do you

have a drill of how would do what in case such an emergency came up?
do you think there is such a need?
how protected are you against such occurrences?

Like Edna in “The Incredibles”, luck favours the prepared. I don’t know about luck, but it sure does help to be prepared.

So, to ask the question again: in the event of an emergency, how fast can you get out of your house?

Later,

Sunga

Start Praying for Your Spouse – You Are The Only One Who Knows Them Well

2010-06-28T16:10:00.001+02:00

Technorati Tags: praying with your spouse pray for your spouse

Something happens when you say “I do” and seal that covenant. It’s a special knowing you get of your spouse that no one else can…at least shouldn’t.

You will do well to start praying for your spouse way before you say I do. There are a lot of benefits for them…and you.

A list?

Sure, just a few that come to mind.

Your spouse’s well being depends on prayer, your prayer.
You get to see your spouse differently when you pray for her.
God is pleased.
Your spouse is pleased.
Your relationship with your spouse gets better.
And others notice.
And ask you how you keep on going at it like you’ve just met yesterday (seriously).

Let’s take it up a notch shall we? If you really want dynamite in your relationship, begin to pray together with your spouse. And it’s not a “been there done that” thing, it’s “I am here doing it.

Thank me later, but do it.

Time is money…and other Important People

2010-06-02T04:43:00.002+02:00

Time is money. Time translates into money. You need time to have money. There is a time for everything. Time is irreversible. Everyone get the same amount of time. Time is valuable.

I have heard all sorts of sayings about time. The one thing that weaves its way in all this is VALUE.

The way you spend your time
shows what you value.

Your spouse, children, parents, job, business, prayer, sports, shopping, facebooking, blogging….

So what do you value?
Really?

Prayers for Money That Actually Work

2010-05-13T17:16:00.002+02:00

The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life (Breakthrough Series) If you find yourself looking for prayers for money that actually work, then you are in for quite a surprise. Let’s get one thing straight: money and prayer are important. The issue regarding money and prayer has been around for as long as both issues have been. Somehow many of us just don’t get the connection. Here is how I connect the dots.
Defining Money
Money is a medium of exchange. A tool if you like. Somewhere along the line, man decided to make trading easier by inventing a tool which was valuable and we could exchange it for things we wanted. Barter trading was out.
Defining Prayer
Prayer is talking with God. This is the one way we have to address him whether we speak or write the prayer. It is an awesome and rewarding privilege.
The Issue
We want a way to talk to God (pray) so that we actually get money. Well, let’s all wake up to the fact that there is a missing ingredient in this equation: work
Defining Work
I look at work as a set of actions one takes to accomplish something. This may be valuable for others that they are willing to pay you for it. For example, if I am able to make beautiful cane chairs, I will find others asking me to make them some. I tell them, that will cost you $500.00 and they pay up, that is profitable work.
Connecting the Dots
So what we end up having here is a “connect the dot mentality” that will move you closer to getting the money you want/need.

Pray to God that he should give you wisdom to find work that is valuable to others. It may be a job or a business. Trust me on this, he will guide you to it.
Do a self analysis of your strengths, weaknesses, talents and hobbies. There is a likelihood that you are good at something that others can pay you for. From my experience, God will not give you something that is totally alien to your capabilities. Pray at each step.
Do market research. What you are looking for is a group of people who have a problem which they are willing to pay for to solve. You will solve these problems with your skills, talents and find a way to bill for them for it.
Plan. From your research, you need to come up with a strategic plan you will implement. You actually need to do something to see results. Yes, keep on praying all the while. It’s not a one time thing.
Action. Put it into action. There is much learning there. Keep your plan handy and tweak it as you go. Praying as you go. Those clients will be paying you. That’s the money you need.

In a nutshell, prayers for money that actually work do exist. I list some resources below but you need to
realize that there are several sides to getting the money you need. Pray, work, get paid and use the money to acquire what you value.
Prayer Resources

The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life (Breakthrough Series)
Prayer Cookbook for Busy People
Start searching for business ideas by clicking the banner below

Technorati Tags: pray for money. pray to manifest money

Give Me a Money Prayer – I Desperately Need Money

2010-05-08T05:47:00.002+02:00

In one of my internet wanderings, I came across this question and I began wondering what was going on here. Sure I am all for prayer and actually do my best to pray often…and I see results, even in the realm of money. However, I am not sure that our desperate requester here has linked money and prayer properly.

What is Money?

As far as I can see, in the Bible and elsewhere, money is simply a medium of exchange. We use it to get things of value. For instance, I will use money to buy airtime for my internet connection. It simply means internet connection is something that I value but instead of trading it in for, say, a goat, I use money because the Internet Service Provider does not care a hoot about goats. So here is the answer I would give our desperado.

What Should I Pray For?

You need to pray for wisdom from God. He will give it to you generously (James 1:5). Pray for wisdom to earn money. Now earning means you will have to find something of value that you can exchange for money. That means you are going to have to work do your research to find out what people value that you can provide, and get paid for it. The easiest to start with is yourself.

What do You Have?

What do you have that people value and can pay you for? For instance, I can set up a blog within half an hour and have someone pay for it. I also design websites and graphics. These are things people pay for. I also hire out three of my four cars because some people value them. In other instances, the things of value that people will pay for are not even yours. For instance, I also buy agricultural produce in the rural areas and sell it in the city, a.k.a. trading.

In all this, I am praying to the Lord for wisdom to find a suitable business, good customers, honest workers and on and on. Prayer alone will not cut it. You will have to remain fine tuned to what God will lead you into so that you earn money. You may also consider running a business on the internet. There is a huge catalogue of all sorts of businesses you can run over at www.click-bank-mall.com

And by all means, keep praying, you will get your answer.

That’s my answer.

Financial Freedom – A Step By Step Guide In Walking In God’s Blessings

2010-05-04T15:45:00.003+02:00

If you are shooting for financial freedom (getting out of debt is not enough), then this is for you. so I will cut to the chase get into the meat of it all.

1. Walk with God

You will need to get your relationship with God straightened out first. You cannot expect him to bless you if you are not in agreement with his terms. It is said in the book of Amos that two cannot walk together unless they have agreed. Start out in John 3 if you do not know him personally. If you do, then you will need to renew your commitment and love him wholeheartedly.

2. Renew Your Mind

You will need to commit yourself to renew your perception about money and see it from his perspective. It is interesting what the Bible has to say about money, wealth and possessions. It’s all there and there are books that have already been written that will get you off to a good start in your Bible study.

3. Develop a Suitable Income Generating System

You will need to ask God for wisdom to develop a suitable income generating system. That is, a business. In my definition, business is all about finding a group of people with a problem, give them a solution and get paid for it. However, not all businesses are suitable for everyone. For example, I enjoy working with documents. You know, writing, editing, formatting, the whole works. So a business that works for me is article marketing on the internet. It is a system because once I set it up, my articles will keep on producing results for years to come.

4. Go Back to School

By that I mean learn all you can about that system from others who have done it before. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. If it is a business that others have done before, you simply need to follow in their path and customize it with your uniqueness. For instance, there are millions of blogs on the planet, but I have customized mine to suit my purposes.

5. Write A Strategic Business Plan

Here is the one place people miss out on. Your quest for financial freedom should be planned. Seriously, treat it like a business for your success or treat it like a hobby for your failure. Sure, hobbies can be profitable only if you treat them like a business as well. So learn how to write a strategic business plan. This is simply a road map that will help you to move from where you are to where you want to be. Just Google the term Strategic Business Plan or seek out some consultants who can help you with this if you can afford it.

6. Act On Your Plan and Evaluate Your Performance

Here is where the rubber meets the road. Most people I know or have met spend their time analyzing things and never get their feet wet. It took me a while to realize that I needed to take action in order to see results. I am not negating the importance of research, but once you get a good feel of the viability of the business, step into it and you will learn the rest as you go. The wisdom comes in evaluating what you learn and modifying your business as you go.

7. Work on Your Business, Not In It

When you work on your business, you are on top of things. When you are working in your business, you are in the thick of things. Handling clients, marketing or whatever section you are in. Initially, it may be important to work in your business so that you learn it as well as provide motivation as soon as you can. But you will need to move quickly to work on it by outsourcing. For instance, in my car rental business, I outsource car cleaning, chauffeuring and the production of marketing material. That gives me more time to develop our marketing strategy before I outsource and automate it. Even better, it gives me more time to enjoy the financial freedom the business is giving me.

Resources to Get You Started
1. New Christian Finance - A step by step course on how to achieve financial freedom God’s way.
2. The Treasure Principle: Discovering the Secret of Joyful Giving (LifeChange Books).
3.
4. CBMall - One of the simplest ways to start earning money online. Training is provided…for free. Seriosly, you don't pay a thing.

Contact

2010-05-02T06:36:00.001+02:00